From childhood's hour I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a common spring From the same source I have not taken My sorrow, I could not awaken My heart to joy at the same tone And all I loved, I loved alone Then-in my childhood, in the dawn Of a most stormy life was drawn From every depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still From the torrent, or the fountain From the red cliff of the mountain From the sun that round me rolled In its autumn tint of gold From the lightning in the sky As it passed me flying by From the thunder and the storm And the cloud that took the form When the rest of Heaven was blue Of a demon in my view.
-(From "Alone" Edgar A. Poe)
She scanned the menacing surroundings, as if she were hoping to find some sign of familiarity. As if she could. She did not know herself, and hoped to know everyone else. She stifled a sigh. There was about her a sort of sudden annoying amnesia. A few hours earlier, she had known, she could remember so many things, yet all she knew now was a one-walled room, of which she could see no other part. Only the frail and splintery wall of knotty oak in front of her. An untamed, natural and inhuman sort of oak.
She sought to touch the wall for some reason. It obviously held some importance to her survival, or rather--an escape from her constricting amnesia. She looked down at her feet, blue and stinging, and bound with a tight snake-leather rope. Looking closer, she heard it hiss. The snake nodded its head as if warning her not to move. She suddenly felt its strong and slippery muscles, tightening around the remaining few active veins in her legs. How could she escape? This was hopeless. It was clear that now all that was left, keeping her from the grasp of Death was her magic. She hadn't an ounce of physical strength.
But she couldn't give up! She had a feeling that this was a very important fate which was in her hands. There was one last chance, a very slight--but nonetheless a chance. She had to reach the tree. Just a few inches in front of her.
The girl wiggled her white fingers, as if testing the extent of her strength. A very important fate, she reminded herself. The feeling in her legs was completely gone. She closed her eyes tightly, imagining the wall, pulling it closer, closer and closer. The snake hissed cryptically. "Don't do it," it said, "Don't do it," it kept hissing, but she paid no heed. She pulled it closer, and the ground shook beneath her. The wall came closer, and her metal chair grated against the bedrock. She was so close to the wall that she could smell its earthy, green security. The tip of her finger touched it, but she retracted her arm swiftly but a searing pain shot through her.
The snake--it had gotten her. There were its fangs embedded in her thigh, and there lethal blackish poison was already, eerily discernible as it seeped through her blood.
She screamed, unconsciously, and the branches of poison reached out like crude oil that had been poured in a clear stream. The snake smiled at her with its intelligent eyes and stuck its forked tongue at her in triumph. Her vision became splotchy, and the nerves in her face twitched. She felt herself slipping into blissful blackness.
Blissful? No, this was a lazy bliss. She did nothing to deserve this bliss. She was dying with no identity. She felt that if she gave in to the blackness now, she would lose whatever life it was that the inaccessible oak hid. She gave a desperate kick in her resolution, with the last ounce of her magic, and though she hit something relatively hard and scratchy, slipped into a fatal faint.
All the curious eyes were now directed toward Dumbledore. Flitwick was taking a...break? There was a quiet cough from one of the staff behind him.
"Yes, you have heard me correctly, my young and talented, yet gossipy little students, your favorite Head of House, as well as the greatest Charms teacher since the great Rowena herself, is off on vacation in Jamaica. First time in fifty years, if I may add," he mused. There was a wave of whispers starting at the Ravenclaw table and spreading soon throughout the hall. Dumbledore clinked his spoon against his porcelain plate.
"Quiet," he said, "to replace our dear Professor Flitwick, is recent Hogwarts graduate, Lily Evans, and her faithful assistant, Sirius Black." Lily and Sirius stepped forward as the Headmaster beckoned them, and there were many happy exclamations through the Great Hall. Dumbledore smiled, and gave a sweeping gesture at Sirius. Lily, too, gave a feeble groan, suppressing a smile.
"My willing pupils! I am the famed Messr. Padfoot, here to instruct you on the finer aspects of trick charms!" A second-year Gryffindor gave a cheer, and McGonagall coughed loudly. "Oh, sorry Professor, I meant...er...healing charms or...erm--something else." He pushed Lily in front of him, and took his seat as the students cheered. Many of the prefects, Slytherins, and some younger years looked indignant, or bewildered, and glared (or glanced) at Dumbledore as if waiting for him to fire the new "substitute". Lily gave a shrill "Shut up!", and all the attention snapped to her at once.
"I see many familiar faces here," she winked at the little boy who was cheering at Sirius (Bill Weasley) who had practically epitomized the Marauders when he'd first come to Hogwarts, and glanced at Truman, who now proudly bore a Prefect's Badge and was standing by the door ready to lead the first years to their dorms. "I also see many that are not." She then glanced at a group of First-Year Slytherin girls who eyed her stern, unsmiling figure with vague interest. "I hope you learn as much from me as I hope to learn from you," she gave a stony glower at McCormick, a Slytherin who she'd caught making Veritaserum in her term of Head Girl. He stared back at her boldly, but she broke eye contact first. "And of course," she said, unexpectedly smiling, "Monsieur Padfoot."
Lily looked at Dumbledore, who nodded sleepily. "But for now, you are dismissed. First years, find your prefects, they will lead you to your respective dormitories. Head Boy and Girl please see Professor McGonagall for a short briefing," Lily finished, doing her best to imitate McGonagall's end of Feast speech. As the students loudly exited the Hall, Lily looked around for James, who was supposed to be meeting her before his First Watch in the forest. As she did so, she didn't notice Sirius, who was staring at her intently. Suddenly, there was a tap on his shoulder.
"Yes? And who might you be?" There stood a slightly chubby, yet shapely figure of a girl.
"Zelda...er, Hufflepuff...Fifth-year," she said, brokenly, sticking out her well-manicured hand.
"Hullo, Zelda." He flashed her a charming grin. He felt a sharp pain in his left ear.
"Ow! Lily, what are you doing?" Zelda glanced timidly at Lily, who held Sirius's ear in her hands, and was smiling at Zelda, ignoring his protests.
"'Lo Zelda, you must excuse Professor Black here, he hasn't yet GROWN UP." Zelda giggled.
"Oh I don't mind," she said, "I was just wondering if...er-you, professor, and Mr. Black were...er--involved."
Lily raised her eyebrows as Sirius smiled cockily at his companion. "Fortunately not, my dear Zelda," he replied. Lily grimaced. She was too young for him! Of course, Sirius was disgusting like that.
Zelda smiled. "Good." she said, giving him a broad grin. She walked off as Sirius watched her retreating figure. Specific portions of her retreating figure. Protruding, voluptuous portions of her retreating figure.
"Sirius!" Lily yelled, when she noticed what he was looking at. She hit him across the head.
"OW!! What is up with this abuse??" he yelled indignantly.
"I? Abuse? She's fifteen!"
"I'm eighteen!" he mimicked. Lily stuck out her tongue at him.
"Jealous are you, Professor Evans?"
"Of course not, I feel sorry for the poor girl, that's all," Lily said. Sirius gave a secretive smile, as if suppressing a giggle.
"I'm not so sure," Sirius retorted, grinning again, conspiratorially.
"I'm sorry Sirius, no matter how hard and long you wish, I'm the one with a love life, while yours is hardly existent."
"Oh? Well, enlighten me, why don't you?" Sirius said, his eyes flickering with amusement.
"Whatever, Monsieur Padfoot. If the best you can do is an underage Hufflepuff's infatuation, I'm afraid you haven't much going for you for me to be jealo--JAMES!" Sirius burst out laughing as James picked her up from behind her. She turned around, and cupping her hands about his cheeks, she shook his head, eyes brimming with tears. "You prig," she whispered. He fingered her straight auburn hair and kissed her high brows.
"Save it for the wedding, there are children here, for Merlin's sake," Sirius said playfully. Lily and James turned toward Sirius.
"I found our rooms, that's why I was late. It was in the Map, I'll show it to you guys," James said.
"Let's go then, I'm so sleepy I'm about to collapse," said Sirius.
"I still haven't finished my lesson plans for tomorrow, so I'll go to the Holdout for a while, I think." Lily said, scanning James' face for his reaction. He kept it carefully blank.
"Ok, its the Sir Cadogan passageway. Don't worry about the password." He glared at her.
"Am I missing something here?" Sirius interrupted cheerfully.
"No." They replied together.
*
"Right, class," said Sirius, "your Professor is running a bit late, for...er-personal reasons, but we will get to work on--"
"I'm here! Siri don't start without me!" Lily skidded in the classroom, disheveled and gasping. There were a few chuckles from around the room. "Oh wonderful!" she paused to catch her breath, "We have Seventh Years Gryffindors first."
"Yeah, Lils, you didn't get your schedule?" a boy said from the front of the classroom, snickering.
"Shut up Diggs, remember, I have power over you now. You're still a student." Lily marched to the front of the classroom, smoothing her hair.
"Okay, you know the drill, get out your wands and show me your five basic spells. Sigmund Arthur, up first. Oh you're Head Boy! How's your aunt by the way? Sibyll, wasn't it?" she said.
"Yeah, she's back to teaching Divination now. She's up in the North Tower most of the time. We can go see her tonight if you want. If she's not there, I could always come up with other things." Arthur winked.
"I'd watch it if I were you Siggy, don't want your Quidditch Captain to beat you up, now do you?" said Sirius.
"Who Amos? You're with Amos?"
"No, you moron!" Lily squealed, "Now do your charms." Sigmund did his elemental spells: Wingardium Leviosa for the air element, Petrificus Totalus for stone, Frescuae Aquicae for water, Incendio for fire, and finally a very complex transfiguration charm "Ferros Transmogrificus" for short to transform freshly mined Iron into Pyhorrite.
"Good job, Arthur--watch your Incendio, it was too strong; Berthy, you're up." Lily marked her pad and tapped the desk of Belladona Berthy--a painfully shy Prefect and Chaser for the House Team.
She did the charms perfectly, and Lily awarded her five points before moving on to Amos Diggory, slightly cocky, but quite handsome. As he did his charms, and Lily nodded (or frowned) accordingly, Sirius began munching on a remaining strip of bacon from Breakfast. He was looking extremely nervous as he moved on to his transfiguration spell. It was more than justified, because as soon as he chanted the incantation, the Iron combusted into a million shards. Lily gave a shriek and ducked, as many others did the same. Sirius jumped up and dropped his bacon as a girl in the back ran up to him yelling incoherently.
"WHAT'S WRONG?" he yelled back. Some offending particles had gotten into her eyes. Lily looked at them and quickly took command.
"Diggs, escort...her to the Hospital Wing. Now, who else doesn't know the last spell?" A few more hands went up. "So all of you that just raised your hands, go to one side of the room. Sirius, help them please," Lily said sternly, moving to one side of the classroom and continuing her diagnostic test. Nothing more of excitement occurred for the rest of the day until the third year Ravenclaws: one of whom blew up his pillow (Expelliarmus) and set off a chain reaction. Pretty soon, the hysterical pillows were flying all across the room, and Lily had to individually coax them to stop. Sirius had (for the fifth time that day) wandered off, leaving her to handle things alone. Needless to say, she was quite disappointed at the end of her workday.
Sirius and Lily walked about the Hogwarts grounds, Lily smoking a Marlboro while Sirius was drawing letters with his wand. The sky was a hazy, cloudy pink, and the brisk twilight emanated a sense of commencement. She threw down the butt of her cigarette and it disintegrated at a direction of her wand. Hagrid was walking deliberately up to them, swathed in his thick and itchy looking woolen cloak.
"Hello, lad! and Lady! How were your first days of teachin'?"
"Fine," Lily answered. "You're...er-Hargid? The gamekeeper?"
"Hagrid. Rubeus Hagrid, pleased ta've met yer, Lily Evans," he shook both her clamped hands with one of his own and shifted his eyes to Sirius, whose face currently bore a sign of fond recognition.
"How's it goin' Padfoot? Are your-eh-" Here Lily didn't quite hear what he said, "goin' a-right?" He winked.
"They're great Hagrid. And she knows, by the way, about Lupin and the others too. She in it with Prongs, you know, and he's always been the blabbermouth."
"Sirius!" hissed Lily, blushing. Hagrid smiled at her warmly. She was clearly worthy enough to trust with their Animagi secret. He recalled how Sirius had the toughest time with getting the actual transformations, whereas he was totally in charge of the actual spelling magic.
"How 'bout we have a cuppa tea inside?" He nodded toward his cabin, and Lily agreed, following.
"How about I make it, Hagrid?" Sirius suggested.
*
Both Hagrid and Sirius caught Lily staring apprehensively out the small window many times as the evening (and the cup of teas) progressed. Sirius put his arm around her protectively as they continued the strained conversation.
"So I hear you've been certified by the Ministry, eh?"
"Yea, its no big deal really. Mrs. Potter insisted I--" she trailed off. Hagrid glanced at Sirius.
"How are the Arbollents doing?" Hagrid brightened a bit.
"Well, you know they can get very active at nights, but I'm worried about them. Haven't heard a peep lately." Hagrid glanced in the direction of the forest forebodingly.
"If you don't mind, what are Arbollents?" Lily said.
"Oh well, they're endangered species. They can only be found here in our forest and in some portions of Queensland. The Whomping Willow's one of 'em if that gives you an idea of what they are," Hagrid rattled off happily.
"So why do you reckon they haven't been doing anything lately."
"Well, they are the critt'rs that make Hogwarts such a safe place, you know, and they aren't usually too quick to ally."
"Helga Hufflepuff was the one to persuade them to come plant themselves here. She was killed in the attempt though, because one of the conditions for them to come was a to-the-death duel with their leader," Sirius added, "Dumbledore told me that the day I...you know...with Snape?" Lily nodded, turning back to Hagrid.
"They aren't really to be considered magical creatures, so ye kids don't learn about them. They are not any muggle creatures either, oh no! They have a sort of unexplainable magic of their own." Hagrid's black eyes gleamed in a mysterious light.
"Lately, since..." he looked around and lowered his voice, "You-Know-Who has been rumoured to've come to the Forest, they're quieter. They're eyes are always closed, and they hardly move at all."
Suddenly, there was a bump at the door. A sort of grating noise was heard, and a faint clopping sound. Sirius and Lily held out their wands by instinct and Hagrid fumbled underneath the table, pulling out a pink umbrella and signalling quiet.
The grating sound grew louder, and there was a hollow tap accompanying it. Lily stood up abruptly, as if remembering something, and put away her wand.
"What are you doing?!" hissed Sirius, and Lily sighed. She ran to the door and opened it. There stood a stag, and on him was a layer of powdery snow. His body shook and the tip of his horn was broken, his forehead gashed. Lily pulled him inside slowly, and closed the wooden door.