III – CAUGHT IN THE ACT
"I was expecting you half an hour ago – what the hell took you so long?"
Grissom shrugged ruefully at Brass, "Don't ask! Let's just say Sara isn't too happy, and leave it at that."
"Sara?" Brass quirked an eyebrow at Grissom, before allowing a tiny smirk to crease his face, "Oh yes. The bet – so, what did the boys put her in? Micro-mini? Tube top?"
"Clown suit," Grissom muttered. Brass' eyes widened and he choked back a snort.
"Clown – as in Bozo? Wow. No wonder she's pissed – this I gotta see."
"If you value your life, don't say anything. And you won't see it 'til we get back to the lab – I told her she could wear my forensics jumpsuit while we were here."
"Favoritism -" Brass chided teasingly, "What would Nick say? Everyone knew he was wearing thongs."
Grissom glanced around guiltily, before looking back to Brass, "Do you see Nick?"
Brass shook his head, and Grissom sighed, "Then he never has to know, does he?"
* * * * *
"I think we've got everything," Warrick said, sauntering over to Nick.
Catherine was talking to Lockwood, who was doing an admirable job of pretending she wasn't wearing the sexiest outfit he had ever seen. Warrick appreciated the fact that the detective kept focused on Catherine's face and not her chest.
"Good," Nick replied. "Griss and Sara aren't too far away – let's swing by there, and see if we can help with anything – maybe run some stuff back to the lab."
Catherine overhead Nick, and turned to him and grinned. "You just want to gloat at Sara some."
"Anything wrong with that?" Nick chuckled, "She did the same to me when she had me in the thongs. You gloated too, Cath – only, not as much." Nick picked up his field kit as he walked over to where she was standing, and bent to pick up hers as well. "Besides which, I don't trust Sara to keep the outfit on when I'm not around. I need to keep her on her toes."
"Her red-vinyl covered toes," Warrick grinned.
* * * * *
Grissom's Forensics jumpsuit was way too big on Sara. Although she and Grissom were close to the same height, Sara was much skinnier. She felt like she was swimming in excess material, and the tie-skirt was bunched uncomfortably around her crotch.
Grissom tried to hide his amusement when she trudged towards him, gripping the front of the suit tightly at the waist with one hand, the other holding her field kit.
Beside him, Brass made an odd snorting sound, "I can still see the clown shoes."
"Pretend you don't," Grissom advised sotto voce. "I wouldn't mention them if I were you."
Sara glared at the whispering men, "Knock it off."
"Isn't that Grissom's suit, Sara?"
"So? Mine was too tight over my outfit. At least I can button Grissom's over my clothes. I'm sure he's already told you what I'm wearing."
Brass tried not to grin when he nodded at her, "I called Nick Wong Fu when he was wearing thongs. But I have a feeling if I start calling you Ronald McDonald I'll become my own crime scene."
Sara flashed her teeth at Brass in a scary semblance of a smile, "You got that right."
Grissom gripped Sara's arm in his hand and pulled her inside the apartment building, trying to prevent a scene from erupting. Sara was a strong-willed woman, and he knew too well what she was capable of when riled.
Sara followed along behind him, grinning evilly to herself.
Grissom would pay for putting her through this embarrassment. He was putty in her hand.
~*~*~*~
Sara was dusting for prints when Brass ran into the room she was in.
"Take it off!" he commanded.
"Excuse me?"
Brass didn't offer any explanation, but he grabbed the lapels of the jumpsuit and pulled the buttons open.
"Take it off!"
Sara just stared at the older man in bewilderment. She had never known him to act this way before. She wasn't sure if she should be scared or angry, and settled on confused instead.
Then she heard Nick's voice down the hall.
"Shit!"
She stripped out of the jumpsuit and handed it to Brass.
"I don't want it!" he exclaimed, throwing the suit around like a hot potato until it landed on the floor.
"Well I can't get caught with it!"
"Where's Sara?" Nick's voice asked from another part of the apartment.
"She's in the other room. And before you ask, yes, she's wearing that ridiculous get-up you forced her into this morning."
"She'd better be. I still have scabs from what she did to me."
Sara rolled the jumpsuit up as tightly as she could and stuffed it into her case.
She smirked at how Nick could really pile on the southern accent when he wanted to.
"I'm right here, Cowboy," Sara said as she stepped into the main room of the apartment. "Was this what you wanted to check?"
Nick tried his best 'I'm a saint' look, but it didn't quite work. "I just wanted to help, Sara. That's all I'm here for."
Sara, Grissom and Brass all snorted at the same time.
"Where's Cath and Warrick then?" Brass wondered.
Nick looked uncomfortable. "In the Tahoe."
"Backseat," Sara remarked dryly. "Classy."
"Yeah, I'll be needing your Nonoxynol 9 for the drive home," Nick said, nervously running his hand through his hair. "Well, I guess it's crowded in here as is, so I'll take the two rabbits back to the lab and see what Greg is up to."
"Good idea," Grissom told him. "You go do that. Have fun with Greg."
Sara laughed.
"Excuse me?"
Grissom shrugged. "Have fun with Greg…you know…doing whatever it is that you two do together."
Brass snickered as well.
"Shut up."
"Bye, Nicky!" Sara called as the dark-haired man headed for the door.
"Fuck you, Sara!" then he turned. "Oh, wait. That's Grissom's job."
The minute the words had left his mouth, Nick wished he could take them back – or at least, had whispered the last part. Even though his back was to Grissom and Sara, he could just imagine the look on Grissom's face – he was sure the older man was on the verge of apoplexy. And Sara. Sara. If he made it through this night alive, he would consider himself a lucky man.
In front of him, Brass tried to school his face into a calm mask, but his quivering lips gave him away. "You have a death wish, Nicky," he whispered as the younger man moved past him. "First you put Sara in a clown suit and now -" he shook his head, "You tease them about sex."
Nick scowled as Brass turned and dogged his footsteps, "She makes me so mad, I just can't control myself!"
"Well, you better learn to control yourself. What if someone else had been standing there when you said that? Can you imagine the rumors your little jab would have started?"
Nick looked chagrined, "You're right. I'll apologize to them later."
Brass smiled and clapped Nick on the shoulder, "Good. And now that that's cleared up, I have to ask – are they finally…"
Nick grinned and shrugged, "Ask them yourself."
* * * * *
Sara was humiliated. Brass kept looking from her to Grissom, hiding neither his smirk nor the speculative gleam in his eye as he contemplated Nick's parting shot. Grissom – calm and cool as always – ignored him and wandered into a new room to look around. But Sara was finding ignoring Brass was becoming increasingly difficult.
"What?" she finally snapped, when Brass shot her another look and grinned, "Spit it out, Brass!"
"I was just wondering if you'd ever thought of running away and joining the circus when you were younger – the look suits you."
"Ha ha," Sara snapped. "That's not what you were thinking, and you know it!"
Brass cocked an eyebrow at her, "No? Are you channeling the Amazing Kreskin now?"
Sara calmly put the evidence bags she had collected in her kit, even though the hectic red flush on her face and her shaking hands betrayed the serious need she was feeling to punch something. Turning towards Brass, she counted to ten before flashing her teeth at him. "You're wondering what Nick meant by his last remark."
Brass grinned, "You are the Amazing Kreskin!"
"Would it bother you if we were seeing each other?"
"You see each other every day, Sara," Bras replied dryly, "so why would it bother me? Quite frankly, I would be happy if you two were seeing more of each other. The UST and PSV's between you two the last couple of years has been distracting."
Sara frowned, "UST? PSV?"
Brass rolled his eyes, "Unresolved Sexual Tension and Personal Space Violations – you know, like Mulder and Scully…"
"Mulder and Scully?" Sara was baffled.
"X-Files? Mulder and Scully – you telling me you never watched X-Files? You've never read any fanfiction?"
Sara shrugged, "Sorry Brass. I don't watch TV that often. What's fanfiction?"
* * * * *
"I can't believe you two," Nick muttered, as he wiped the steam from the inside of the windows of the Tahoe, "I feel like I'm in high school again. Don't force me to make you come up front, Warrick."
"As if you could!" Warrick retorted. "So, Sara still in the clown suit?"
"Yep," Nick grinned. "Frankly, I was surprised. I was sure she would have talked Grissom into letting her change – but there she was, in all her Technicolor glory."
Catherine snorted inelegantly, "You're a cruel man, Nick."
Looking at Catherine through the drivers' mirror, Nick grinned, "You better remember that!"
The ringing cell phone kept Nick from saying anything else, "Stokes. Hey Greg. Yeah, we're heading back now. Okay – I'll meet you there in 15 minutes. Later." Hanging up, he muttered in the general vicinity of the back seat, 'That was Greg."
"So we gathered," Warrick retorted dryly.
"And you're meeting him at The Deli Llama in fifteen minutes," Catherine added.
"How in the world did you know that?"
"Easy," Catherine leaned forward and teasingly tried to mess Nick's short hair as he drove, "Heidi's working tonight. It's time for a break. Hence – break at the deli; see Heidi. And speaking of Heidi, tell her thank you for the outfit for me. I'm especially grateful after seeing Sara."
"You're scary, Cath," Nick replied, as he pulled into the parking lot of the lab. "So, you guys mind taking the evidence to the lab? Greg and I need to confab about tomorrow's costumes…I mean outfits."
* * * * *
Greg was sitting on a stool at the counter staring balefully at a pickle, Heidi grinning evilly in front of him, when Nick walked in.
"Hey Heidi – Cath says thanks for the outfit," Nick offered as he slid onto the empty stool beside Greg. "You gonna eat that pickle, or try to vaporize it with your laser-vision, Greggo?"
"Funny, Nick. You're a laugh-riot."
Nick winked at Heidi, "See – only one or two dates, and she's already trying to change you…."
"Hey – lips that don't touch vegetables and other healthy foods will never touch mine," Heidi grinned, "at least, not as often as they want to. And for your information, Nick – that's an ice pickle. They're quite good."
Nick shrugged, "Whatever. Looks like someone dipped a Smurf in formaldehyde."
Heidi raised an eyebrow. "Smurf in formaldehyde. . . Nicky, you're not helping my cause, and if you don't help my cause, I won't help you with yours."
"Which cause would that be?" Nick wondered.
"Uh. . .supplying you with clothing for Catherine and Sara. Greg - eat your pickle."
Greg made a growling noise, then took a bite out of the pickled cucumber before him.
"Today pickles, tomorrow, iceberg lettuce!"
"Don't go overboard, Heidi," Nick cautioned. "I've never seen him eat anything green that wasn't sour apple flavored."
Heidi frowned. "Well, we'll start out small and work our way up."
Greg took another bite from his pickle, then looked at his new girlfriend. "So, what are we going to put the girls in tomorrow?"
Heidi grinned evilly. "I've got something for Sara that will make Gil's head spin around so fast, you'll be calling an exorcist to get it to stop."
"And Catherine?" Nick wondered.
"I called Michelle this morning. She has a lead on a. . . ahem. . . 'super' outfit, so to speak."
"I don't know if I like the gleam in your eye," Greg admitted suddenly. "You look. . .devious."
"Scary," Nick agreed.
"I'm frightened."
Heidi rolled her eyes. "Look, you wanted our help, and Michelle and I have had fun together figuring everything out. I like her. She's a good girl, Nick. Hold on tight."
"I intend to, thank you."
Greg checked his watch. "So, should I stop by tonight to get the clothes?"
"Why don't I go to your place after shift is over? Michelle is bringing Catherine's thing over here, and I need to stop off at a friend's place for Sara's outfit."
Greg nodded. "Sounds good."
"And, if you eat a salad right now, I'll bring chocolate with me."
Greg frowned. "I have chocolate."
Heidi smiled, then leaned over the counter and whispered in his ear.
Nick smiled as Greg's cheeks pinkened and he looked around nervously.
"I'll eat the salad," Greg said quickly.
Nick laughed. "I have a feeling he'll turn vegetarian for you."
TBC
___________________________
Author's Note:
What will Catherine wear? What does Sara have in store for Grissom?
Will Michmak and ZHeidi ever seek the professional help they so obviously need? All this and more will be revealed ….
As always – please R&R.