NUTCRACKERS
Greg was daydreaming about Heidi when Nick walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, scaring the proverbial crap out of him.
Clutching his chest dramatically, he glared at his friend. "Christ, Nick. Give a little warning before sneaking up on a guy like that. You almost gave me a heart attack."
Nick grinned, completely unrepentant, "I was whistling the theme from Wonder Woman, Greggo. You were zoned. Thinking about anything…or anyone in particular?"
Greg smiled, "I was wondering if Heidi had ever dressed up like Super Girl. 'Cause I have a Superman costume at home and -"
"Whoa, whoa!! Too much information for me, Greggo." Nick threw his hands up in jest, "I'm still debating bleaching my eyeballs out to burn away the sight of you in thongs. The mental image of you in blue tights will give me nightmares."
Greg smirked, "You're just jealous because Heidi will play dress-up with me."
"Why?" Nick retorted, "I don't want to play dress-up with Heidi. Besides," and here he stopped to rub his hands together gleefully, "Mich has a cat-woman costume. Made out of black vinyl."
Greg's mouth dropped open in shock. "Michelle? Sugar wouldn't melt in my mouth Michelle? Cat woman? You've got to be kidding me." He looked at Nick suspiciously, "How do you know this?"
"She told me about it when I asked her where she got the Wonder Woman outfit. Apparently, Mich and a friend dressed up like superheroes for Halloween."
"Have you actually seen a picture of her in it – or better yet, her in it?"
"Not yet," Nick grinned. "The anticipation is half the fun."
Greg snorted, "You would say that."
* * * * *
"Want some help?" Sara's chipper voice immediately behind him made Grissom start. He had been staring at his bookcase, debating the best way to get a reference book he needed from the top shelf without stretching his arms over his shoulders and severely injuring himself.
He tried to ignore her, but found that impossible when she strolled over to him and stopped beside him, grinning at him saucily as she crossed her arms under her chest. Grissom tried not to look at the strategically placed pockets pushed prominently into his line of vision with her movements.
"Uhh. No, thank you. I'm fine."
She grinned again, licking her lips slightly, before turning to contemplate the book case. "You need your reference encyclopedia? I can get that for you."
Her stiletto's tapped seductively against the tile. Rising up slightly on her toes, she raised her arms over her head and fished the large encyclopedia normally on Grissom's desk off the top shelf.
Grissom gulped audibly as the already tight shirt pulled even tighter, and the already short micro-mini slid another half inch up her smooth thighs. She had the longest legs he had ever seen.
Cursing under his breath, he shifted slightly on the balls of his feet before turning and gingerly moving back to his desk, shuffling his gait as much as possible so as not to lodge thong up his ass any further than it already was.
He had almost made it back to his desk when Brass stuck his head through the door of his office. Grissom stopped his forward momentum and looked at his friend with barely concealed irritation. "Yes?"
Brass just shook his head, "I forgot what I was going to ask you. I didn't know you did impersonations, Grissom."
"Impersonations?"
"Yeah. You look like Tim Conway doing his old man routine from The Carol Burnett Show. Right down to the silvering hair."
Over at the bookcase, Sara laughed and quickly walked over to Grissom's desk, dropping the large book with a satisfying thud on it, before smiling at Brass as she strolled out of the office. Brass watched her in stunned silence, mouth on the floor, blushing a furious red when Sara winked at him.
"Wow," Brass turned and smirked at Grissom. "Now I understand the walk. Pants a little too tight Grissom?"
Grissom just grunted at him, "You don't know the half of it."
He followed Sara down the hall, forgetting about his reference book for the time being. He caught up with Sara in the layout room and grabbed her thinly clad barely naked arm.
"You can't go around like that all day!" he hissed into her ear.
Sara turned to him and wrapped her arms around her neck. "Why Mister Grissom, I do believe you are blushin'," she said in her best southern accent.
Grissom flustered and blushed profusely, then came in control of himself again and closed the door.
"Sara, you can't wear that today."
She winked and leaned over the table. "You think I should wear it tonight?
God, yes! "I think you need to just…not wear it at all. It's obscene. You'd be arrested if we stepped outside. They'd think you're a hooker."
Grissom suddenly regretted using the 'H' word. The upwardly raised eyebrow of his paramour was the biggest warning sign he'd ever seen, but he wasn't sure what the offense was.
"Hooker? What, like your little friend Heather? I thought you liked girls who look like this."
Grissom felt sweat pouring out from places he didn't even realize that he had sweat glands. "Heather? Bu………"
Sara smirked. She had him in a thong and now he was sweating and stammering. Now was the perfect time.
She grabbed ahold of the hem of her see-through blouse and started to pull it over her head.
"Don't!" Grissom yelped, reflexively jumping back against the door as she continued to smirk and pull the mesh top over her head, revealing to Grissom's relief, a flesh-colored body suit.
"Pretty clever, huh? I've got to ask Heidi where she shops…" Her eyes met his, and she saw his desperation. "I'll go tell Greg that it's too obscene."
He gulped. "Sara, don't. It's okay. I made them wear the underwear, it would be unfair if I took you out of this."
Sara's attention was drawn to the window that looked out over the hallway. She saw Catherine walking down the hall purposefully, Warrick close behind her, but far enough back that he could admire her ass and the shake of her hips as she trod along in her high-heeled boots.
"Besides, I think you made out better than Warrick. I don't think he'll be relaxed until sometime early tomorrow morning."
Grissom had to smirk at his two friends, obviously in love with each other, having fun fulfilling a fantasy. He turned back to Sara, who was putting her top back on. Now that he knew about the body suit, he wondered how he could have thought that she was bare underneath. He couldn't see her belly button, or the mole on her left shoulder.
"All right. Let's go check out my reference. I'm looking for a type of scarab that usually only feeds on birds."
"Wouldn't you need Nick to help you with that?"
"Maybe, but you look better in high heels."
Sara blushed and looked down, trying to not look too pleased at him saying that. If things went well, he'd be rubbing her feet when they got back to his place the next morning.
~*~*~*~
Warrick followed Catherine into the locker room and looked around, making sure they were alone. Then, he leaned against the door and pulled Catherine to him, planting a kiss firmly on her lips.
Catherine giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Can't get enough, can you?"
"Of you? Never." He kissed her again, then ran his fingers lightly through her hair. "Here's the plan: We go home, I'll take Linds to school, you go in the bedroom and pull the shades and light some candles. We don't sleep."
Catherine giggled and held him closer. "Okay. Sounds like a plan to me."
He kissed her one last time, then reluctantly led her back out into the real world.
"This is going to be the slowest day ever."
She couldn't agree more.
~*~*~*~
Brass was completely mesmerized by Catherine.
Wonder Woman. It had to be Wonder Woman.
Every man's fantasy. Even as a child, he had had the hots for Wonder Woman. And then, in the '70s, when Linda Carter brought Wonder Woman to life in all her red-bustiered, tight blue hot pants glory? Shabamm. He had fallen in love, and never really gotten over it. When Wonder Woman was on TV, he never went out.
"You two ready to go?" he asked with some difficulty, trying not to let his eyes stray too obviously up Catherine's red vinyl thigh high boots. Her thighs were so taught she could probably crack nuts with them. Unfortunately, they wouldn't be his. "Vega's already at the residence, we need to catch up."
Catherine smiled at Brass, and headed towards the car. Warrick reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Whoa, now! You're going to put some pants on right?"
Catherine smirked, "Pants? Did Wonder Woman wear pants?"
"She did when she was her alter-ego."
Brass, to Warrick's supreme displeasure, took this moment to pipe up. "Technically, I think Catherine changing is against the rules of the bet. After all, Nick and Greg had to keep their thongs on the entire shift. But I suppose we could go and clarify with Nick…"
Catherine giggled at the dark glare Warrick shot at Brass. She was having fun. Warrick…not so much.
"Fine. She doesn't have to change. BUT if Vega and his mustache gets within 5 feet of Catherine, his eyes better be firmly planted on her face. Comprende?"
* * * * *
Greg stuck his head into the layout room. "Yo! Heidi just called. She's taking a break in 15, and Mich is going to be there. You wanna head over with me?"
Nick looked at his watch and grimaced, "It's a bit early. I'll have to check with Grissom – he wanted me to get these pictures sorted and go over what we have so far on the Simmons case."
"Well, man. Get cracking! Heidi said 'pronto'. She's not a girl I like to keep waiting."
Nick grinned and made a whipping sound, but he slid to his feet as he did it. "Give me a minute. I'll go ask Grissom."
* * * * *
Michelle grinned at the large salad Heidi was preparing. "You really think Greg is going to actually eat that?"
Heidi grinned back, "He will if he wants to see me in this." Reaching into a bag hidden under the counter by the till, she flashed a French Maid uniform at Michelle. "Comes complete with a feather duster…."
Michelle laughed and blushed at the same time. "I wish I could be as outrageous as you!"
"You can be. It's easy, once you get the hang of it. Nick wouldn't know what hit him."
"That's what I'm afraid of. He's such a gentleman, and -"
"Listen, Mich. Nick has been coming here to eat for a long time, and I've never heard of or seen him with the same girl more than once or twice, not counting Catherine or Sara. He's seen you every day for what? A week now? That's a record for him. Kick it up to the next level. He only acts like a gentleman 'cuz that's the way his mama raised him. I bet that beneath that teddy-bear exterior Tarzan is lurking."
Michelle giggled again. "Maybe. It sure seems to be working for Greg."
Heidi leered, "Ah – but Greg has always been a wild man. That's what I like so much about him – I don't need to kick it up with him. If anything, I have to tone it down."
The tinkling of the bell over the doorway broke up their conversation. The two men entered and smiled.
Nick went immediately to Michelle's side and kissed her, while Greg leaned over the counter to see what his girlfriend was doing with a large bowl and metal tongs. He wasn't happy to say the least.
"Are those apples?" Nick asked.
"Pears," Michelle corrected him, as she popped a mint into her mouth. "Though, they do look like apples."
Heidi smiled at the darker man. "And there's also peppers, yellow and red, and a few blackberries for tartness, feta cheese crumbles, candied walnuts, and I'm just going to finish it off with some tangy raspberry vinaigrette."
Greg was trying very hard to not comment, but he found he had to. "Great. What am I going to eat?"
Heidi shook her head and continued to build the salad. "You know, Greg, I love you, but you are so prejudiced against looking un-macho that you let it cloud your judgement. Look at Hans. He's bigger than you, and I can't think of anyone who would call him feminine to his face, and he eats salads all the time."
"To paraphrase John Lennon, all I am saying is give grease a chance!" Greg retorted.
Nick had an idea. "Okay, Heidi. You eat a meat sandwich, and Greg eats the salad. You guys switch. Try and see things from the other person's perspective."
Michelle agreed. "Yeah, compromise."
"In the meantime," Nick said, "can I have a salad that's less…fruity?"
"Mich made you a salad, Nick. She put it in the refrigerator in the back."
Michelle took Nick's hand and led him to the back room where he pulled her into a furious kiss, like a man who had been thirsty all day, and she was his first drink of water.
"Missed me, huh?" she finally asked as he relented, both of them breathless.
"More than you know. Catherine loves her Wonder Woman outfit, by the way. So does Warrick. I don't think you'll be getting it back anytime soon."
Michelle ran her finger over his lips, her eyes obviously thinking. "Nick?"
He kissed her fingertip. "Hmmm?"
"Do you ever want me to…dress up? For you?"
He pulled her close and kissed her again. "Only if you want to."
Michelle smiled. "But, do you want me to? If I wanted to, would you really want me to?"
"If you wanted to, I would want you to. But, if you don't want to, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."
"So you want me to?"
"I want you to be happy."
"Then I want to dress up for you."
Nick smiled and kissed her again. "I was hoping you'd say that."
~*~*~*~
Heidi speared a piece of spinach, then some radicchio, a small piece of yellow pepper, a blackberry, a crumble of cheese, and a candied walnut.
"Open up," she ordered.
Greg crossed his arms over his chest in defiance.
"Open up!"
He shook his head.
"Don't make me get Hans-Peter over here to pry your mouth open," she cajoled. "Open!
Greg sighed and relented, accepting the concoction into his palette and chewing thoughtfully. It was sweet and sour and a little spicy and kind of rich and the feta cheese was strange, but it wasn't…unbearable. In fact, it was kind of…
His eyes shot up and met hers. She had a smirk on her face, and her green eyes were full of smugness.
"Don't even try and pretend that you don't like it."
Greg swallowed. "Well, it isn't repulsive. You going to eat your sandwich?"
They had agreed to match bite for bite. Heidi stalled. "What happened to Nick and Michelle?"
They were still in the back room. "Let them be. Eat your sandwich."
She had let Greg put roast beef and Swiss cheese onto two pieces of bread with mayonnaise and a little mustard, but no lettuce or tomato or anything that even remotely resembled a vegetable.
Heidi took a reluctant bite. The white bread stuck to the roof of her mouth and the mayonnaise felt like greasy salad dressing sliding down her throat. She gagged. She barely made it to the trash can when her throat refused the food she had never eaten before.
Nick walked out from the back room just then with Michelle behind him.
"Whoa, Greg. What did you do? Kiss her?"
Heidi glared at them both and rinsed her mouth out. "I don't like meat," she said decidedly. "I've always wondered what I was missing. Now I know that it's nothing."
Greg handed her a fork and pushed the bowl of salad so that it was closer, leering as he did so, "That's not what you said last night…."
Michelle looked at Greg and Heidi, before shooting an embarrassed gaze at Nick and suddenly announcing, "I forgot to get the salad!"
She went back into the small kitchen and found it in the big refrigerator, then came back out to find Nick blushing and not meeting her eyes.
"What?" she asked.
Nick shrugged. Greg smirked. Heidi rolled her eyes and beckoned Michelle closer, leaning in and whispering in her ear, "Forget it. We need to keep these boys separated. And remind me to tell you what Greg said about Altoid mints. Could come in useful later on."
Michelle smiled, slightly nervous, before shooting a glance from under her lashes at Nick, who was still red from whatever Greg had said to him when she went to grab the salad. "Okay. Do I really want to know?"
Heidi giggled, "You really do."
_______________
Author's Notes: All I have to say is we seem to be getting racier and racier. I have visions of Nick as Aquaman now. Please R&R – we'll try to get the next chapter up a little quicker.