Author's Note: This is a dead letter home, which means that I've taken a character, killed her (well, Joss did that in "The Gift"), and had them write one letter.
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Angel,
I'm sure by now you know that...I'm dead. I never liked that word. It reeks of finality, and leaves the survivors with a void. My blood spilled to save the world and I can't help thinking how I once had to spill yours to save it. The world's salvation was bought with both of our blood, bonding us closer than we've ever been before.
Don't blame yourself for my death - we both knew my life was forfeit the day I was called, but it came too soon. Don't think that you weren't there with me, because you were. You are always with me.
I didn't want to spend this letter getting all emotional -- we both know I'm not like that. I guess...well, it's hard to not wish that we could have had a normal life -- a life together that didn't involve slaying, death, and fighting. But I'm thankful that I did get to meet you Angel.
Crap - I can't do this anymore. I thought that after I jumped, after I saved the world one last time, I would stop feeling pain, but it never stops. Everything was so clear - I knew what I had to do up on that tower, but now...I'm less sure. I'll never get to touch my sister again, or sit around with Willow and Xander and just be there for them. It hurts knowing how much I'll miss being dead, but it hurts even more knowing that my friends...you...are hurting because I'm not there anymore.
Please - don't hurt for too long. Grieve, but continue on with your life...well, unlife. That's the best way I can think of you honouring me.
I remember telling you once that when I kissed you, I wanted to die. I take it all back - I would do anything to be able to live again. I know it's crazy. I know this is it for me - I've used my "get out of death free" card already, it was my time. I know that. I can deal with that. I only hope you can.
Always your girl,
Buffy