The Awakening
~Kurochan:This chapter took a loooooooooooong time to get up....
*Nekochan:No kidding
~Kurochan:Personally I don't think it came out that good...
*Nekochan:And really....it ain't as long as the others...
~Kurochan:And there isn't as much panamanian slangs as before....
*Nekochan:We're reeeeeaaaaalllly starting to reek now...
~Kurochan:Yep....
*Nekochan:Yep...
*~Kuro/Neko chan:Here's the story....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mooooooooooooooooooooooooorniiiiiiiing Rayon!!! Rise and Shine!!!!" said an annoying voice right above his head. Annoying voices reminded him of flies so he swatted it. "OW!" The thing about this fly, is that it swatted him back.
"#^%$*&!" swore Raistlin as he opened his eyes. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MUTANT FLY!!!!" he shouted as he saw two huge glowing silver orbs.
There was a pair of giggles. Raistlin blinked the blurr out of his eyes. He looked staight ahead and he saw two somethings that were more annoying than flies.
"Odeisha....Tasselhoff....." he looked around to se how much his ego was marred....Everyone was laughing even whats-his-name...Riverwind(~I keep forgeting the guy's name....)(*You forget your own name....) Great just great! He glared forward to where Odeisha and Tas were giggling together 'oh you won't be laughing when I become the strongest and rule over you. Expecially you Odeisha....you are my ticket to.....'
"RAISTLIN THINK FAST!!!!!"
"Wha?" THUNK "Ow." Soon everything went black.
Later.......
"I SAID think fast...." insisted Dax to Caramon.
"Awwww....he's soooo cute when he's sleepin'.Just look at the drool comin' out of his mouth he looks like a baby...." cooed Odeisha.
"What do you think would happen if we wake him up?" said Tas looking up at Odeisha.
"Depends which way we wake him....." said Odeisha an evil smile spreading over her face.
Tas looked at Odeisha and then at Raistlin.His mouth fell open "You wouldn't"
"Oh, yes I would...."
"Can I help?"
"Sure"
On the other side of the clearing.....
"Kaaahtyyinala! gyth mifthti ewanta huarow!" said Chin talking in the ancient language known only to her family.
"Karindikal, iuhenr saer booterow tolletquire itnahj!" answered Kathi from the spring.
"Reillnak wikonsap yoijne goiusdy tonjd gjeksiois minnsert oki wagderrtu?" wondered Chin looking up to the sky.
"Isddf ybvwuqa inogturuyi...." said a thoughtful Kathi
"Yameron pashtiguil nash guton faz xia......." said Chin gritting her teeth.
"Paaaaaa, Paaaaaa...." cooed Kathi.
"Huong ya noip at jis taf..." said Chin under her breath.
"Karindikal! Serdoip nonda youkina!" reprimanded Kathi.
".....cushdi merna, upounh zuulanmfe kaa son..."
"Yooo,mdisn....upounh zuulanmfe kaa sooooooinm." finished Kathi standing up.
(*What the?!)
(~Ok there was going to be a translation but...)
(*Buuuuuut???)
(~I forgot what they were saying hahahaa...)
(*Tell me you're kidding....)
(~....)
(*You're not kidding...)
(~I'll find a way to fix it....I hope)
Sturm was looking at the strange shaped "pigskin football" 'It does not look like a pig.... so then why do they call it a pigskin?'A sharp scream came from where the girls had left for a special "girl" thing. "Sturm to the rescue!"
"Holy danger Sturm-man!!!" said Dax walking up to him rolling his eyes.
"Sturm-man?" he asked taking out his sword.
"Nevermind," Dax took out his scythes and blinked,"How do you use this?"
"Easy," said Caramon who had joined them holding a mixing bowl,"You poke the bad guy with the pointy end..."
"...Wow! won't you enlighten me with more of your sagely advise..." said Dax rolling his eyes.
"Check out my sticky-pokey thingy...Tas!" said Odeisha who was running beside him waving her Katanaka.
"Wow! it sure is long!"
Dax snickered at the kender's innocent remark.
They soon reached the clearing in which the girls were....
"What's wrong! Where is the danger?"
The girls looked at Sturm from the rock they were standing on :
"It's horrible...."
"A monster...."
"...almost ate me..."
"...big yellow eyes...."
"...sharp as daggers..."
"What?! What was?" screamed Dax getting freaked out.
"Was it this?" asked Tas holding a big arse spider.
"Good Paladin!" exclaimed Sturm.
"Keep it away!!!!!" said Dax cowering behind Odeisha, "Shoo, shoo!"
Tas walked over to Odeisha and Dax slid over to hide behind Sturm.He heard him muttering something about hating big furry spiders.
"Hey Odi, what do I do with this?"
"I have an idea" she said with a malevolent smile.
Back in the clearing....
"So I said to her I said..." said Tanis to Dimitri.
"How much can they talk about?" said Kathi to Caramon who, once more, had to make the food thanks to Raistlin being out and all.
"I dunno but it doesn't sound too interesting to me..." he responded.
"Caramon!"
"Yes Rai...I mean Miss Chin?"
"Do hurry with Raistlin's tea!"
Caramon gave a 'please-save-me-look' to Kathi and walked off.He went to the stream where he saw Tas and Odeisha whispering together.Tas was blushing and Odeisha was giggling. He really didn't want to interrupt Tas first conquest so he made his way back to the camp.He emptied his decanter into a pot and boiled it over a different fire.He heard Chin muttering something about Dax being a savage and what not but he really wasn't paying attention.He was watching Kathi fawn over a butterfly that had landed on a flower she was holding.He stared at her for a while and smiled a goofy smile. Then he shook his head savagely 'You're with Tika now, remember?'.
"I suggest you don't shake your head so hard your brain might fly out your ear..."
"That could really happen miss Chin?" said Caramon his eyes going wide.
"If you really want to know ask my sister,her's flew out a long time ago.I wouldn't be surprised if yours did too."
"Oh dear," he said going pale "KATHI!!!"
Chin snickered.'These morons were so easy to trick into thinking anything.'She looked down at Raistlin. 'That Dax! One day I will kill him! One day...Odi was right he does look angelic when he sleeps. Actually he looks more like giant drooling baby.'Chin giggled.'Oh my God what am I thiking! I dont think any one's cute! Welllll only Odi when she does those strange faces of hers....and when she's snoring...also that time when she went down the huge waterslide and was walking in circles with her eyes crossed...No I'm getting weaker! I must destroy all weaknesses!! I must get Raistlin to drink her blood!' thought Chin with conviction.She looked down at his face and her eyes softened to deep azure 'I'm vrey sorry for using you this way...' She sat up with a jolt when she heared Odeisha calling her.
"I'm coming!!!" she yelled, 'To the abyss with Raistlin, I must do this.'
Yeah,yeah the stream again....
"Remember what you have to do Tas?"
"Yes mam'!" he said saluting.
"Go now! Chin's coming"
Odeisha turned around and greeted Chin with a smile. She held her arm out where she had a slash from her wrist to her elbow which she had recieved while running to 'save' the girls.Chin sighed when she saw the gash. She came towards her shaking her head.
"You really should be more carefull..."
"I know, but you're always here to make it allll better.Ain't ya?"
In the clearing....
Tas was slowly making his way to Raistlin's bed.'This was going to be soo funny Odi always thinks up the funniest pranks.'He slipped by Caramon without exiting a bit of suspicion and smiled when Kathi looked over. Kathi leaned over to Caramon and said: "He's up to something..."
"I know but I really don't feel like stopping him." said Caramon by the side of his mouth and a wink.
Kathi giggled and went back to stirring the whatever-they-cook(~You know I wonder who carries all the pots and pans)(*I feel sorry for them).
Tas sneaked by them and slowly placed his package(~cough cough)(*Perv) down Raistlin's shirt.He quickly turned away, looked around him, and skipped over to where Flint was reading "The art of whittling".
Sturm and Dax walked...well, more like stomped into the clearing.Tanis and Dimitri turned to them. Sturm was fuming and Dax was cursing under his breath.
"What's wrong?" asked Tanis.
"These women!!" screamed Sturm.
" A spider! A friggin' spider! We ran from here to kingdom come to fight a spider!" yelled Dax.
"This was going to be his first battle and all..." said Sturm sniffling.
"Calm down you two I'm sure it's gonna be ok..." said Dimitri in a soothing voice.
"There will be other battles.How 'bout we spar meanwhiles?" said Tanis.
"Really? And you'll teach me all that technique stuff?" asked Dax getting exited.
"Yup.And I'll ask Caramon to help too." said Sturm.
Dax stood up and flexed,"Look at these muscles!".
Kathi looked over at Dax and laughed.Kathi kissed her arm and then flexed.Muscles that weren't there a minute ago were rippling on her arms.
"Beat that small fry." she said smiling over at Dax whose mouth had unhinged.
She stretched out her arm and it was back to being the delicate appendage it was before. She turned over to the pot she was previously stirring and took a whiff.
"Damn."
Over the stream....
"S-S-Sirrrr..." said a Draconian to a creature drapped in shadows.
"Yessss lieutenant? What newsss have you?" said the creature.
"T-the targets are over this bank of the river, have you any strategy for our attack?"
"Assssss a matter of fact....I do...."
To Dax's "training"
"This," said Sturm, "is a backhand...you try." Sturm demonstrated the move in a fluid motion.
Dax tried but ended up poking Sturm on the butt with the sword.
Caramon sighed it'd been a half an hour and the kid couldn't get one move right.
Kitiara walked in the field with the girls in tow.They sparced and Kitiara stayed looking at Dax with amusement glittering in her eyes.
"Caramon,teach him like I teached you.You put the pointy end inside of the guy your fighting.If worse comes to worse kick him in the balls.Easy."
Dax mouth opened wide,"Ohhhh,that's how it goes."
Caramon's eyes bugged out and Sturm slapped himself on the forehead.
Later on everyone had eaten 'xept Raistlin....
They were packing everything to move on, when a scream interrupted where Raistlin was lying.
"AAHHHHHHHH!!!! GETITOFF GETITOFF!!!!" screamed Raistlin as he ran around in circles.
Everyone looked over and all eyes grew big.
"Wow brother you finally grew a beard!" said Caramon.
"Raistlin are you ok?" asked Kitiara.
"DO I LOOK OK?!!!" screamed Raistlin from under the hairy thing.
"I know! Let's throw water on it maybe it will slip off or something." said Dimitri.
Tanis ran to the pot and heaved the scalding water on whatever was on Raistlin's face. Raistlin did not take it well....
"AAAAARRGGGGG!!!!!!!!MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE, MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Well, maybe not..." said Dimitri sheepishly.
Chin came running from the bank where she was taking a "bath" with nothing but a towel on.(*Where did they get towels and soap from?)(~Everything has to make sense with you don't it?) Kathi was behind her and so was Odeisha.Odeisha took one look at the scene and burst out laughing.Kathi's mouth opened wide and Chin looked scoldingly at Odeisha.They were all in towels(*No really, where did they...)(~GLARES)(*nevermind...)which were wet.Chin stomped over to Raistlin.
"Stop moving so I could save you!" she screamed.
Raistlin stopped moving at once."What are you going to do?"
"Zap it..."
"Wait!...."
ZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few miles later....
"No really mage I LOVE the hairdo...." said Sturm snickering.
"For the last time SHUT UP!!!!" screamed Raistlin.
"Raist, I didn't know you were so vain about your looks..." said Caramon looking at his brother.
"Maybe because I'm NOT!" he said getting more annoyed than usual.
"You don't have to scream...."
Tas and Odeisha were walking in front of everyone(much to Tanis' annoyance) talking energetically.
"So really Tas how old are you?"(~I'll give a whole dollar if someone could answer this)(*Do you HAVE a dollar?)Asked Odeisha.
"Mmmm....I think I might be going for seventy or so...."he said thoughtfully.
"SEVENTY?!!" said Odeisha tripping over an invisible root."No way!!!!"
"I really don't know how much that is in human years..."
"No matter in what years you lookin at.YOU OLD!" hollered Odeisha.
"I am?"
"Right now you should be home askin' someone to chew your food or somn'"
"Really?"
"Yeah really!" Odeisha looked up as they walked," These tricks we play ain't too much for yo' heart are they?"
"I don't think so..."
"Hmm...."
They walked in silence for a while.The group was very silent looking at them in surprise 'cause they weren't talking.Kathi got worried as a few hours passed and ran over to them.
"Hey guys what's up?" she asked casually.
"Well I just found out how old Tas really is..."
"Mmm Is that bad?" she said looking at Odeisha.
"Kathi he's SEVENTY." said Odeisha putting her hands in her pocket.
"Wow...." she said looking at Tas "You can really fool a person...."
Kathi looked down at Tas who had a really sad face on.He seemed to be crestfallen.
"Tas," said Kathi "Why don't you go talk to Caramon for a while?"
"Ok. I guess." said Tas shrugging in an off manner.
"Odi,"continued Kathi when he left "Are you mad at him?"
"NO! Just...What DO you say to a seventy year-old man?" she said exasperated
"You've talked to him before...talk like you always talk."
"I talked to him like one would talk to a kid you know someone my own age....or younger"
This conversation went on for a while and I(~KURO THE SAIYAN NO OUJO!!!)(*oh brother) do not feel like writing the rest so I'll just make you people make up the conversation(*lazy) and how Kathi convinced Odeisha and what not.... TO THE REST OF THE GROUP!
"She-she-she hates me!!!!!" blubbered Tas who was now on Caramon's back.
"Stupid kender getting himself hated...." said Flint sympathetic.
"Come on Tas...she doesn't hate you because you're old and feeble and stuff..." cooed Caramon
"Ohhhh....."moaned Tas going back to crying.
"Nice try brother...."said Raistlin sarcastic,"How old are you Tasselhoff?"
"Sniff, s-seventy...."he said looking back at the mage.
"Well in human years that means you're..."
(EAT AT JOE'S GOOD FOOD CHEAP PRICES!!!!)
"REALLY?! I'll go tell Odi right now!" Tas jumped off Caramon's back and ran over to Odeisha.
"That was nice of you bro," said Kitiara,"you sick?"
"Been for most of my life,so I don't know." he said smiling that evil smile of his.
"I think a bug bit ya'" said Caramon winking at Raistlin.
"Bug? What are you talking about Caramon?"
"He means that you've been bit by the loooooove bug.."said Kitiara.
"The mage?! IN LOVE?! The world would sooner stop spinning." said Sturm.
"The world spins?! Doesn't it get dizzy?" asked Caramon straying from the conversation.
"I'm afraid I agree with the knight....I'm not in love...." said Raistlin shaking his head.
His siblings stared at him and then looked behind him.Kitiara put her hand on his head and Caramon grabbed his chin.They turned his head and pointed at Chin who was staring at the floor.Then they smile a crooked and gave him a jeering look.Chin looked up and smiled at Raistlin.Raistlin blushed and looked down.
"Suuuure you're definitely not in love...." said Kitiara rolling her eyes.
"I'm not...." mumbled Raistlin not looking up.
"Awwwww my little bro is growing up!!!" cooed Caramon pinching Raistlin's cheek.
"It was only yesterday that he said that girls were yucky...."remembered Kitiara sighing and pinching.
"Shut up! Both of you!" whispered Raistlin annoyed.
"Why did we stop?"asked Tanis running to Kathi,Tas and Odeisha.
"Somn' smells bad...." said Odeisha.
"Sniff.....now that you mention it...." started Tas.
Dax walked up behind them and being the nice, conservative, inconspicuous person he is said: "WHAT THE HELL CRAWLED UP YO' BUTT AND DIED?! OH MY GOD, IF THE STENCH WERE ANYWORSE I'D BE MELTING!"
"Well that was very dignified of you...Odi why are you TRYING to smell it?!" said Chin with a handkerchief over her nose and mouth.
"The stench is right here...Wait no..." she took a step forward, "HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!!! HELP ME JEEBUS!!-- (*Been watching the Simpsons huh?)(~Yep!)-- Must.Breathe.Fresh.AIR!"
By now the stench had spread and the whole group had a very good idea of what Odeisha was talking about.They were all coughing and had very diffrent reactions.Dax was holding his nose and frowning deeply while muttering curses.Kathi was coughing and retching.Chin pinched her nose over her handkerchief.Odeisha was laughing and coughing simuntaneously.Dimitri looked about ready to faint.Tika, Goldmoon and Laurana had faces of total revulsion and were fanning themselves.Riverwind was trying to look composed and all manly-like but his face was getting red from holding his breath for so long.Tanis had long since fainted.Raistlin and Caramon remained unmoved saying: 'That it smelled like what Kitiara used to cook.Kitiara was cursing both at the twins and at the smell.Sturm had fallen on his butt and had his head between his legs.Flint was hacking.Tas was holding on to a tree trying to stop the world from spinning.
"Damn,we'll die if we if we stay here! Someone pickup Tanis! Let's go! Move,move,move!!" said Dax starting to run.
The forest blurred around them it could've been because their eyes were watering,it could've been the awesome speed they were traveling in but, no it HAD to be something sinister for old plot's sake.They finally reached the edge of the forest and colasped panting.Odeisha looked up and started laughing again.
"What is so darn funny this time?!" asked Raistlin annoyed.
"Look.at.the.sign." she said between laughs.
Soon the whole group,with the exeption of Raistlin,Chin and Tains(the latter being out of it), was laughing.The sign was made out of wood and it had most obviously been there for quite a while but you could still make out most of the words.It said: BEWARE GASSY GHOSTS.(*Gassy ghosts?)(~It was either that of Farting Nymphs)(*Gassy ghosts it is.)
After a brief interlude and a LOT of joking about Kitiara's cooking the most funny being Caramon saying: "You only had to smell that thing, we had to EAT it!", the group moved on.It was a quiet twenty minute walk on a quiet dirt roadway.Not even Tas and Odeisha were talking.Everyone felt jumpy, something wasen't all that right.Suddenly Chin and Raistlin both scrunched up their faces in pain and gasped.Kathi and Caramon both came to their siblings aid.
"Karindikal?" said a worried Kathi puting her arms around Chin.
"Raist! CAN YOU HEAR ME!!!" screamed Caramon into Raistlins ear.
"Of course he can hear you he ain't blind!!" said Odeisha pushing him of his brother.
"Well if he could hear you before he most definetly can't hear you now." said Dax.
"Oh crap he ain't breathing," Odeisha quickly looked for a place where she could open his robes,but gave up and sat on him stradling him.
"Odi! Couldn't you at least wait till he was you no CONCIOUS and you know BREATHING and until you had some PRIVACY!!!" said Caramon starting to push her off.
"Leave her be Caramon, she's saving his life." said Chin who was leaning on her sister.
"What? How?" asked Tas
"Look." said Dax calmly.
Odeisha pumped Raistlin's chest five times and after hesitating gave him "the kiss of life".Raistlin started and coughed.Odeisha got up from where she was...ahem..."sitting" and bowed to an ficticious audience.
"And that ladies and gentlemen is what we call the Heimliche(~You can't spell it can you?)(*Nope)"
"Well," said Chin smiling at Kathi's unbelieving face," she may not know the name but at least she knows how to do it."
"It IS a start...." answerd Kathi.
Raistlin sat up and made the worst mistake of his life...he asked.
"What happened?"
"Well,Odi saw you weren't breathing so she sat on your lap and then she moved all wierd-like and then she kissed you!"
Raistlin went green and looked extremely sick.
"My first kiss was from an annoying,stupid,lower-class being, that is her!?" he said pointing at Odeisha.
"Yep! Hey Odi!!!! You gave Raistlin his first kiss!!!" said the kender running up to the black clad girl.
"I'll kill that kender...." seethed Raistlin.
"Hm, I say that all the time and I still don't do it..." said Flint glumly.
"Aw," said Odeisha stalking over,"I gave Raist his first kissssssss" she sat down and hugged him,"Wan' me to give you one while you're concious???"
Raistlin's face got the same shade of red of his cloak "NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!!"
"It's because I'm black isn't it!?" said Odeisha feigning indignance.
"Wha?" said Tas "Odi, would you give meeee my first kisss?"
"Sure!" she leaned down when suddenly they heard someone coming down the road.
Sturm was the first to react."Everyone to the side of the road!"
They all moved to the ditches and crouched there.They saw a group of adventurers coming down the road,but something was amiss.
"Paprika!This is embarrasing!!!" said a girl in a pink dress with a really deep voice.
"Shut up Tommass this is the only way we can get into the 'upside down town!', you dress like a girl and I dress up like a guy,easy."
Tommass snorted "Easy she says hmph."
The twisted pair walked off.
"Upside down town? I've never heard about this place and Me,Raist an' Kitty have gone EVERYwhere."
"Don't call me 'Kitty'! But the lumox is right.I've never heard of this place...."
The girls turned to the guys with a smirk and a malignant glint in their eyes.
"From what I understood," said Odeisha,"Girls are boys and Boys are girls here...."
The guys looked at each other and then gulped.They did not feel comfortable at all.
All that was said by Tas in that instant was: "Oh boy."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Kurochan:I found the way to fix our slight problem!
*Nekochan:And how is that??
~Kurochan(eyes go wide):A CONTEST!
*Nekochan:Oh boy...
~Kurochan:Everyone writes what they think would look good in that...language part and we'll dedicate a whole chapter of the fic to that and....
*Nekochan:What else?
~Kurochan:Anybody who makes a contribution they get to make a special request!!!You know like a fic or a insertion or an guest apearance or an preview of the next chapter of the fic stuff like that.You could even ask for my name...
*Nekochan:Wow! That's something thet I alone know....
~Kurochan:You can send the paragraph to Kurochan21@hotmail.com or put it in your review but remember to put your e-mail adress ok?.
*Nekochan:Oh yeah....review!!!!
~Kurochan:Until next time...
*Nekochan:Ja ne!
~Kurochan:Remember-Don't let your mind wander, it's too young to be out by itself.
*Nekochan:Inside Kuro's brain.
Next Chapter(hopefully longer):Let the fun begin!
~Kurochan:This chapter took a loooooooooooong time to get up....
*Nekochan:No kidding
~Kurochan:Personally I don't think it came out that good...
*Nekochan:And really....it ain't as long as the others...
~Kurochan:And there isn't as much panamanian slangs as before....
*Nekochan:We're reeeeeaaaaalllly starting to reek now...
~Kurochan:Yep....
*Nekochan:Yep...
*~Kuro/Neko chan:Here's the story....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mooooooooooooooooooooooooorniiiiiiiing Rayon!!! Rise and Shine!!!!" said an annoying voice right above his head. Annoying voices reminded him of flies so he swatted it. "OW!" The thing about this fly, is that it swatted him back.
"#^%$*&!" swore Raistlin as he opened his eyes. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MUTANT FLY!!!!" he shouted as he saw two huge glowing silver orbs.
There was a pair of giggles. Raistlin blinked the blurr out of his eyes. He looked staight ahead and he saw two somethings that were more annoying than flies.
"Odeisha....Tasselhoff....." he looked around to se how much his ego was marred....Everyone was laughing even whats-his-name...Riverwind(~I keep forgeting the guy's name....)(*You forget your own name....) Great just great! He glared forward to where Odeisha and Tas were giggling together 'oh you won't be laughing when I become the strongest and rule over you. Expecially you Odeisha....you are my ticket to.....'
"RAISTLIN THINK FAST!!!!!"
"Wha?" THUNK "Ow." Soon everything went black.
Later.......
"I SAID think fast...." insisted Dax to Caramon.
"Awwww....he's soooo cute when he's sleepin'.Just look at the drool comin' out of his mouth he looks like a baby...." cooed Odeisha.
"What do you think would happen if we wake him up?" said Tas looking up at Odeisha.
"Depends which way we wake him....." said Odeisha an evil smile spreading over her face.
Tas looked at Odeisha and then at Raistlin.His mouth fell open "You wouldn't"
"Oh, yes I would...."
"Can I help?"
"Sure"
On the other side of the clearing.....
"Kaaahtyyinala! gyth mifthti ewanta huarow!" said Chin talking in the ancient language known only to her family.
"Karindikal, iuhenr saer booterow tolletquire itnahj!" answered Kathi from the spring.
"Reillnak wikonsap yoijne goiusdy tonjd gjeksiois minnsert oki wagderrtu?" wondered Chin looking up to the sky.
"Isddf ybvwuqa inogturuyi...." said a thoughtful Kathi
"Yameron pashtiguil nash guton faz xia......." said Chin gritting her teeth.
"Paaaaaa, Paaaaaa...." cooed Kathi.
"Huong ya noip at jis taf..." said Chin under her breath.
"Karindikal! Serdoip nonda youkina!" reprimanded Kathi.
".....cushdi merna, upounh zuulanmfe kaa son..."
"Yooo,mdisn....upounh zuulanmfe kaa sooooooinm." finished Kathi standing up.
(*What the?!)
(~Ok there was going to be a translation but...)
(*Buuuuuut???)
(~I forgot what they were saying hahahaa...)
(*Tell me you're kidding....)
(~....)
(*You're not kidding...)
(~I'll find a way to fix it....I hope)
Sturm was looking at the strange shaped "pigskin football" 'It does not look like a pig.... so then why do they call it a pigskin?'A sharp scream came from where the girls had left for a special "girl" thing. "Sturm to the rescue!"
"Holy danger Sturm-man!!!" said Dax walking up to him rolling his eyes.
"Sturm-man?" he asked taking out his sword.
"Nevermind," Dax took out his scythes and blinked,"How do you use this?"
"Easy," said Caramon who had joined them holding a mixing bowl,"You poke the bad guy with the pointy end..."
"...Wow! won't you enlighten me with more of your sagely advise..." said Dax rolling his eyes.
"Check out my sticky-pokey thingy...Tas!" said Odeisha who was running beside him waving her Katanaka.
"Wow! it sure is long!"
Dax snickered at the kender's innocent remark.
They soon reached the clearing in which the girls were....
"What's wrong! Where is the danger?"
The girls looked at Sturm from the rock they were standing on :
"It's horrible...."
"A monster...."
"...almost ate me..."
"...big yellow eyes...."
"...sharp as daggers..."
"What?! What was?" screamed Dax getting freaked out.
"Was it this?" asked Tas holding a big arse spider.
"Good Paladin!" exclaimed Sturm.
"Keep it away!!!!!" said Dax cowering behind Odeisha, "Shoo, shoo!"
Tas walked over to Odeisha and Dax slid over to hide behind Sturm.He heard him muttering something about hating big furry spiders.
"Hey Odi, what do I do with this?"
"I have an idea" she said with a malevolent smile.
Back in the clearing....
"So I said to her I said..." said Tanis to Dimitri.
"How much can they talk about?" said Kathi to Caramon who, once more, had to make the food thanks to Raistlin being out and all.
"I dunno but it doesn't sound too interesting to me..." he responded.
"Caramon!"
"Yes Rai...I mean Miss Chin?"
"Do hurry with Raistlin's tea!"
Caramon gave a 'please-save-me-look' to Kathi and walked off.He went to the stream where he saw Tas and Odeisha whispering together.Tas was blushing and Odeisha was giggling. He really didn't want to interrupt Tas first conquest so he made his way back to the camp.He emptied his decanter into a pot and boiled it over a different fire.He heard Chin muttering something about Dax being a savage and what not but he really wasn't paying attention.He was watching Kathi fawn over a butterfly that had landed on a flower she was holding.He stared at her for a while and smiled a goofy smile. Then he shook his head savagely 'You're with Tika now, remember?'.
"I suggest you don't shake your head so hard your brain might fly out your ear..."
"That could really happen miss Chin?" said Caramon his eyes going wide.
"If you really want to know ask my sister,her's flew out a long time ago.I wouldn't be surprised if yours did too."
"Oh dear," he said going pale "KATHI!!!"
Chin snickered.'These morons were so easy to trick into thinking anything.'She looked down at Raistlin. 'That Dax! One day I will kill him! One day...Odi was right he does look angelic when he sleeps. Actually he looks more like giant drooling baby.'Chin giggled.'Oh my God what am I thiking! I dont think any one's cute! Welllll only Odi when she does those strange faces of hers....and when she's snoring...also that time when she went down the huge waterslide and was walking in circles with her eyes crossed...No I'm getting weaker! I must destroy all weaknesses!! I must get Raistlin to drink her blood!' thought Chin with conviction.She looked down at his face and her eyes softened to deep azure 'I'm vrey sorry for using you this way...' She sat up with a jolt when she heared Odeisha calling her.
"I'm coming!!!" she yelled, 'To the abyss with Raistlin, I must do this.'
Yeah,yeah the stream again....
"Remember what you have to do Tas?"
"Yes mam'!" he said saluting.
"Go now! Chin's coming"
Odeisha turned around and greeted Chin with a smile. She held her arm out where she had a slash from her wrist to her elbow which she had recieved while running to 'save' the girls.Chin sighed when she saw the gash. She came towards her shaking her head.
"You really should be more carefull..."
"I know, but you're always here to make it allll better.Ain't ya?"
In the clearing....
Tas was slowly making his way to Raistlin's bed.'This was going to be soo funny Odi always thinks up the funniest pranks.'He slipped by Caramon without exiting a bit of suspicion and smiled when Kathi looked over. Kathi leaned over to Caramon and said: "He's up to something..."
"I know but I really don't feel like stopping him." said Caramon by the side of his mouth and a wink.
Kathi giggled and went back to stirring the whatever-they-cook(~You know I wonder who carries all the pots and pans)(*I feel sorry for them).
Tas sneaked by them and slowly placed his package(~cough cough)(*Perv) down Raistlin's shirt.He quickly turned away, looked around him, and skipped over to where Flint was reading "The art of whittling".
Sturm and Dax walked...well, more like stomped into the clearing.Tanis and Dimitri turned to them. Sturm was fuming and Dax was cursing under his breath.
"What's wrong?" asked Tanis.
"These women!!" screamed Sturm.
" A spider! A friggin' spider! We ran from here to kingdom come to fight a spider!" yelled Dax.
"This was going to be his first battle and all..." said Sturm sniffling.
"Calm down you two I'm sure it's gonna be ok..." said Dimitri in a soothing voice.
"There will be other battles.How 'bout we spar meanwhiles?" said Tanis.
"Really? And you'll teach me all that technique stuff?" asked Dax getting exited.
"Yup.And I'll ask Caramon to help too." said Sturm.
Dax stood up and flexed,"Look at these muscles!".
Kathi looked over at Dax and laughed.Kathi kissed her arm and then flexed.Muscles that weren't there a minute ago were rippling on her arms.
"Beat that small fry." she said smiling over at Dax whose mouth had unhinged.
She stretched out her arm and it was back to being the delicate appendage it was before. She turned over to the pot she was previously stirring and took a whiff.
"Damn."
Over the stream....
"S-S-Sirrrr..." said a Draconian to a creature drapped in shadows.
"Yessss lieutenant? What newsss have you?" said the creature.
"T-the targets are over this bank of the river, have you any strategy for our attack?"
"Assssss a matter of fact....I do...."
To Dax's "training"
"This," said Sturm, "is a backhand...you try." Sturm demonstrated the move in a fluid motion.
Dax tried but ended up poking Sturm on the butt with the sword.
Caramon sighed it'd been a half an hour and the kid couldn't get one move right.
Kitiara walked in the field with the girls in tow.They sparced and Kitiara stayed looking at Dax with amusement glittering in her eyes.
"Caramon,teach him like I teached you.You put the pointy end inside of the guy your fighting.If worse comes to worse kick him in the balls.Easy."
Dax mouth opened wide,"Ohhhh,that's how it goes."
Caramon's eyes bugged out and Sturm slapped himself on the forehead.
Later on everyone had eaten 'xept Raistlin....
They were packing everything to move on, when a scream interrupted where Raistlin was lying.
"AAHHHHHHHH!!!! GETITOFF GETITOFF!!!!" screamed Raistlin as he ran around in circles.
Everyone looked over and all eyes grew big.
"Wow brother you finally grew a beard!" said Caramon.
"Raistlin are you ok?" asked Kitiara.
"DO I LOOK OK?!!!" screamed Raistlin from under the hairy thing.
"I know! Let's throw water on it maybe it will slip off or something." said Dimitri.
Tanis ran to the pot and heaved the scalding water on whatever was on Raistlin's face. Raistlin did not take it well....
"AAAAARRGGGGG!!!!!!!!MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE, MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Well, maybe not..." said Dimitri sheepishly.
Chin came running from the bank where she was taking a "bath" with nothing but a towel on.(*Where did they get towels and soap from?)(~Everything has to make sense with you don't it?) Kathi was behind her and so was Odeisha.Odeisha took one look at the scene and burst out laughing.Kathi's mouth opened wide and Chin looked scoldingly at Odeisha.They were all in towels(*No really, where did they...)(~GLARES)(*nevermind...)which were wet.Chin stomped over to Raistlin.
"Stop moving so I could save you!" she screamed.
Raistlin stopped moving at once."What are you going to do?"
"Zap it..."
"Wait!...."
ZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few miles later....
"No really mage I LOVE the hairdo...." said Sturm snickering.
"For the last time SHUT UP!!!!" screamed Raistlin.
"Raist, I didn't know you were so vain about your looks..." said Caramon looking at his brother.
"Maybe because I'm NOT!" he said getting more annoyed than usual.
"You don't have to scream...."
Tas and Odeisha were walking in front of everyone(much to Tanis' annoyance) talking energetically.
"So really Tas how old are you?"(~I'll give a whole dollar if someone could answer this)(*Do you HAVE a dollar?)Asked Odeisha.
"Mmmm....I think I might be going for seventy or so...."he said thoughtfully.
"SEVENTY?!!" said Odeisha tripping over an invisible root."No way!!!!"
"I really don't know how much that is in human years..."
"No matter in what years you lookin at.YOU OLD!" hollered Odeisha.
"I am?"
"Right now you should be home askin' someone to chew your food or somn'"
"Really?"
"Yeah really!" Odeisha looked up as they walked," These tricks we play ain't too much for yo' heart are they?"
"I don't think so..."
"Hmm...."
They walked in silence for a while.The group was very silent looking at them in surprise 'cause they weren't talking.Kathi got worried as a few hours passed and ran over to them.
"Hey guys what's up?" she asked casually.
"Well I just found out how old Tas really is..."
"Mmm Is that bad?" she said looking at Odeisha.
"Kathi he's SEVENTY." said Odeisha putting her hands in her pocket.
"Wow...." she said looking at Tas "You can really fool a person...."
Kathi looked down at Tas who had a really sad face on.He seemed to be crestfallen.
"Tas," said Kathi "Why don't you go talk to Caramon for a while?"
"Ok. I guess." said Tas shrugging in an off manner.
"Odi,"continued Kathi when he left "Are you mad at him?"
"NO! Just...What DO you say to a seventy year-old man?" she said exasperated
"You've talked to him before...talk like you always talk."
"I talked to him like one would talk to a kid you know someone my own age....or younger"
This conversation went on for a while and I(~KURO THE SAIYAN NO OUJO!!!)(*oh brother) do not feel like writing the rest so I'll just make you people make up the conversation(*lazy) and how Kathi convinced Odeisha and what not.... TO THE REST OF THE GROUP!
"She-she-she hates me!!!!!" blubbered Tas who was now on Caramon's back.
"Stupid kender getting himself hated...." said Flint sympathetic.
"Come on Tas...she doesn't hate you because you're old and feeble and stuff..." cooed Caramon
"Ohhhh....."moaned Tas going back to crying.
"Nice try brother...."said Raistlin sarcastic,"How old are you Tasselhoff?"
"Sniff, s-seventy...."he said looking back at the mage.
"Well in human years that means you're..."
(EAT AT JOE'S GOOD FOOD CHEAP PRICES!!!!)
"REALLY?! I'll go tell Odi right now!" Tas jumped off Caramon's back and ran over to Odeisha.
"That was nice of you bro," said Kitiara,"you sick?"
"Been for most of my life,so I don't know." he said smiling that evil smile of his.
"I think a bug bit ya'" said Caramon winking at Raistlin.
"Bug? What are you talking about Caramon?"
"He means that you've been bit by the loooooove bug.."said Kitiara.
"The mage?! IN LOVE?! The world would sooner stop spinning." said Sturm.
"The world spins?! Doesn't it get dizzy?" asked Caramon straying from the conversation.
"I'm afraid I agree with the knight....I'm not in love...." said Raistlin shaking his head.
His siblings stared at him and then looked behind him.Kitiara put her hand on his head and Caramon grabbed his chin.They turned his head and pointed at Chin who was staring at the floor.Then they smile a crooked and gave him a jeering look.Chin looked up and smiled at Raistlin.Raistlin blushed and looked down.
"Suuuure you're definitely not in love...." said Kitiara rolling her eyes.
"I'm not...." mumbled Raistlin not looking up.
"Awwwww my little bro is growing up!!!" cooed Caramon pinching Raistlin's cheek.
"It was only yesterday that he said that girls were yucky...."remembered Kitiara sighing and pinching.
"Shut up! Both of you!" whispered Raistlin annoyed.
"Why did we stop?"asked Tanis running to Kathi,Tas and Odeisha.
"Somn' smells bad...." said Odeisha.
"Sniff.....now that you mention it...." started Tas.
Dax walked up behind them and being the nice, conservative, inconspicuous person he is said: "WHAT THE HELL CRAWLED UP YO' BUTT AND DIED?! OH MY GOD, IF THE STENCH WERE ANYWORSE I'D BE MELTING!"
"Well that was very dignified of you...Odi why are you TRYING to smell it?!" said Chin with a handkerchief over her nose and mouth.
"The stench is right here...Wait no..." she took a step forward, "HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!!! HELP ME JEEBUS!!-- (*Been watching the Simpsons huh?)(~Yep!)-- Must.Breathe.Fresh.AIR!"
By now the stench had spread and the whole group had a very good idea of what Odeisha was talking about.They were all coughing and had very diffrent reactions.Dax was holding his nose and frowning deeply while muttering curses.Kathi was coughing and retching.Chin pinched her nose over her handkerchief.Odeisha was laughing and coughing simuntaneously.Dimitri looked about ready to faint.Tika, Goldmoon and Laurana had faces of total revulsion and were fanning themselves.Riverwind was trying to look composed and all manly-like but his face was getting red from holding his breath for so long.Tanis had long since fainted.Raistlin and Caramon remained unmoved saying: 'That it smelled like what Kitiara used to cook.Kitiara was cursing both at the twins and at the smell.Sturm had fallen on his butt and had his head between his legs.Flint was hacking.Tas was holding on to a tree trying to stop the world from spinning.
"Damn,we'll die if we if we stay here! Someone pickup Tanis! Let's go! Move,move,move!!" said Dax starting to run.
The forest blurred around them it could've been because their eyes were watering,it could've been the awesome speed they were traveling in but, no it HAD to be something sinister for old plot's sake.They finally reached the edge of the forest and colasped panting.Odeisha looked up and started laughing again.
"What is so darn funny this time?!" asked Raistlin annoyed.
"Look.at.the.sign." she said between laughs.
Soon the whole group,with the exeption of Raistlin,Chin and Tains(the latter being out of it), was laughing.The sign was made out of wood and it had most obviously been there for quite a while but you could still make out most of the words.It said: BEWARE GASSY GHOSTS.(*Gassy ghosts?)(~It was either that of Farting Nymphs)(*Gassy ghosts it is.)
After a brief interlude and a LOT of joking about Kitiara's cooking the most funny being Caramon saying: "You only had to smell that thing, we had to EAT it!", the group moved on.It was a quiet twenty minute walk on a quiet dirt roadway.Not even Tas and Odeisha were talking.Everyone felt jumpy, something wasen't all that right.Suddenly Chin and Raistlin both scrunched up their faces in pain and gasped.Kathi and Caramon both came to their siblings aid.
"Karindikal?" said a worried Kathi puting her arms around Chin.
"Raist! CAN YOU HEAR ME!!!" screamed Caramon into Raistlins ear.
"Of course he can hear you he ain't blind!!" said Odeisha pushing him of his brother.
"Well if he could hear you before he most definetly can't hear you now." said Dax.
"Oh crap he ain't breathing," Odeisha quickly looked for a place where she could open his robes,but gave up and sat on him stradling him.
"Odi! Couldn't you at least wait till he was you no CONCIOUS and you know BREATHING and until you had some PRIVACY!!!" said Caramon starting to push her off.
"Leave her be Caramon, she's saving his life." said Chin who was leaning on her sister.
"What? How?" asked Tas
"Look." said Dax calmly.
Odeisha pumped Raistlin's chest five times and after hesitating gave him "the kiss of life".Raistlin started and coughed.Odeisha got up from where she was...ahem..."sitting" and bowed to an ficticious audience.
"And that ladies and gentlemen is what we call the Heimliche(~You can't spell it can you?)(*Nope)"
"Well," said Chin smiling at Kathi's unbelieving face," she may not know the name but at least she knows how to do it."
"It IS a start...." answerd Kathi.
Raistlin sat up and made the worst mistake of his life...he asked.
"What happened?"
"Well,Odi saw you weren't breathing so she sat on your lap and then she moved all wierd-like and then she kissed you!"
Raistlin went green and looked extremely sick.
"My first kiss was from an annoying,stupid,lower-class being, that is her!?" he said pointing at Odeisha.
"Yep! Hey Odi!!!! You gave Raistlin his first kiss!!!" said the kender running up to the black clad girl.
"I'll kill that kender...." seethed Raistlin.
"Hm, I say that all the time and I still don't do it..." said Flint glumly.
"Aw," said Odeisha stalking over,"I gave Raist his first kissssssss" she sat down and hugged him,"Wan' me to give you one while you're concious???"
Raistlin's face got the same shade of red of his cloak "NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!!"
"It's because I'm black isn't it!?" said Odeisha feigning indignance.
"Wha?" said Tas "Odi, would you give meeee my first kisss?"
"Sure!" she leaned down when suddenly they heard someone coming down the road.
Sturm was the first to react."Everyone to the side of the road!"
They all moved to the ditches and crouched there.They saw a group of adventurers coming down the road,but something was amiss.
"Paprika!This is embarrasing!!!" said a girl in a pink dress with a really deep voice.
"Shut up Tommass this is the only way we can get into the 'upside down town!', you dress like a girl and I dress up like a guy,easy."
Tommass snorted "Easy she says hmph."
The twisted pair walked off.
"Upside down town? I've never heard about this place and Me,Raist an' Kitty have gone EVERYwhere."
"Don't call me 'Kitty'! But the lumox is right.I've never heard of this place...."
The girls turned to the guys with a smirk and a malignant glint in their eyes.
"From what I understood," said Odeisha,"Girls are boys and Boys are girls here...."
The guys looked at each other and then gulped.They did not feel comfortable at all.
All that was said by Tas in that instant was: "Oh boy."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Kurochan:I found the way to fix our slight problem!
*Nekochan:And how is that??
~Kurochan(eyes go wide):A CONTEST!
*Nekochan:Oh boy...
~Kurochan:Everyone writes what they think would look good in that...language part and we'll dedicate a whole chapter of the fic to that and....
*Nekochan:What else?
~Kurochan:Anybody who makes a contribution they get to make a special request!!!You know like a fic or a insertion or an guest apearance or an preview of the next chapter of the fic stuff like that.You could even ask for my name...
*Nekochan:Wow! That's something thet I alone know....
~Kurochan:You can send the paragraph to Kurochan21@hotmail.com or put it in your review but remember to put your e-mail adress ok?.
*Nekochan:Oh yeah....review!!!!
~Kurochan:Until next time...
*Nekochan:Ja ne!
~Kurochan:Remember-Don't let your mind wander, it's too young to be out by itself.
*Nekochan:Inside Kuro's brain.
Next Chapter(hopefully longer):Let the fun begin!