At the JTF:

"What the hell do you mean Derevko's gone?"

"Well, uh, sir- Assistant Director Kendall, we um, really don't know..."

"When I hired you, I thought I had hired a qualified prison guard, now what am I supposed to think? That the CIA is made up of a bunch of screwballs who just don't notice when a prisoner, a dangerous terrorist, goes strolling by them out their own front door!?"

"She's not unattractive either."

"That has nothing to do with-"

"I know that but… um… we... oh, hey they fixed the coffee maker! I gotta go."

"You… Agent Vaughn, I suppose you know something about this."

"Oh yeah, it turns out the thing was unplugged the whole time."

"No, not the coffee maker- Derevko!"

"Yeah, who hired those screwball guards anyway?"

"I… where's Agent Bristow? Go find me Sydney."

"Hey Kendall, Vaughn said you needed me."

Yes, I do... how'd he do that so quickly? We've just been informed your mother, Irina Derevko, has broken out of CIA custody. Your plane is leaving in an hour."

"Plane, what? Where are you sending me? And why?"

"Well, we don't know for sure yet, but I figured we should send you out to find her. Besides you're the only one we ever send on missions, and I guess you can take Vaughn if you'd like."

"So do you even know where she is?"

"Not a clue, go talk to Marshall. Maybe he can figure something out."

A few moments later, Sydney was at Marshall's desk. He smiled up at her nervously.

"Uh, hi Sydney. Whatcha need?" She shrugged and glanced back at Kendall, who was now busy lecturing everyone on why he should be the first to drink from the newly fixed coffee maker.

"I have no clue what I need, Marshall. Think you can help?" He blinked at her.

"Uh… sure?" Sydney smiled slightly, not sure if that was a question or an answer.

"Thanks Marshall. Have it ready for me in an hour." She nodded to him and walked off as he looked even more confused. Vaughn suddenly appeared at her side, looking worried.

"Syd, we found out what really happened with the coffee maker." She gave him a look.

"I thought it was just unplugged…"

"That's true. But it's not the what, it's how that worries me," Vaughn stated, looking deep into her eyes.

"Uh… ok. So, how?"

"The coffee maker was unplugged by Sloane." Sydney's eyes widened.

"How is that possible?"

"Well, he didn't do it directly. But he hacked into our servers and screwed around with the wiring, which caused the coffee maker to come unplugged." Sydney shook her head, looking shocked.

"I can't believe he has the technology to unplug our coffee pot without even coming near it." Vaughn nodded, looking even more worried.

"With that kind of tech at his disposal, who knows what else he might do? I mean, he could quite possibly hack into the White House and unplug the nightlight!" They took a moment to ponder the other possibilities before Sydney remembered that the plane would be ready soon.

"Come on, Vaughn! We're going to…" she paused to consider, and her eyes lit up as she came up with their destination. "Alaska!"

"What? Syd… Alaska? Why?" She gave him a look.

"Because I said so."

"Ok… is there any actual reason behind this?"

"Vaughn, it's the only thing that makes sense," she said, her voice full of emotion and her dark eyes pleading with him to see the truth of her statement.

"Oh, right. Obviously. Silly me," he mumbled, rolling his eyes at Syd, who didn't notice. She grabbed his arm.

"Let's go!" She skipped off in the general direction of the plane, Vaughn in tow. Marshall stared after her, relieved that she seemed to have forgotten to come by and pick up the essential items for her trip. Kendall also watched, making a mental note to lecture her later on why skipping was against protocol. Dixon stared after her because it was one of the things he was best at. And everyone else stared after her because she was obviously the only agent who could pull off this mission- or any other, for that matter. Everyone there knew that if anyone else attempted a mission without a Bristow, they would fail miserably and probably end up dead.

Vaughn, meanwhile, had been forced to skip as well, in order to keep up with Sydney. It was only a few minutes later, when they were in the air on the way to Alaska, that Vaughn realized they had no equipment. Sydney didn't even have any outrageous wigs or costumes. Vaughn sighed; there was no way this mission could go right. And when they got back, they would probably discover that Sloane had unplugged all of the candy vending machines as well. It was always Sloane's fault.
*********

Sloane sat at his computer, laughing maniacally. After successfully unplugging all the coffee machines, he was now setting to work on vending machines, and desk lamps. Nothing like working in the dark to teach those boys at the CIA that they couldn't steal his Bristows!

Sark, meanwhile, sat across the room, watching Sloane. Sark had figured out how to use the CIA's own circuitry to unplug any and all of their appliances. Sloane was now putting this knowledge to use in numerous evil and insidious ways that were also none too pleasant. But as Sark watched, he couldn't help but wonder why Sloane was wasting his time with the small things.

Sure, the coffee maker and vending machines being out of order would cause utter and complete chaos at the CIA. But Sark couldn't understand why Sloane didn't go after the things that would really screw them up: the pencil sharpeners. Or at least the computers, so they couldn't keep hanging out at message boards.

With those questions in mind, Sark turned around to continue working on what Sloane had assigned him: methodically removing the sporks from all Taco Bells in California. After he was done there, he would turn to Colorado, then Texas, and continue sweeping the nation until America was left completely sporkless!
It was a truly vicious plan.
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