A Lesson Well Taught
Beliefs Lost
Sailor Astro
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Author's Note: Plase forgive me! I was out on a month vacation. I'm writing this very early in the morning. If it seems strange to you blame my hate for the light.
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My first battle.
Am I ready?
What if I die?
What if I cause death to my friends?
What if I'm forced to kill the enemy?
I can't!
"Corazon! Come on!" Heero was ahead of the group in the air and ready for anything.
Trowa stood in front of me. "Corazon, I know you're ready. Let's go."
I unsteadily flew up with the others. All six of us were lined up with our weapons ready.
But I wasn't ready!
The first mobile doll was already headed toward me. I got an arrow and aimed carefully.
"Corazon, you can do it. Don't be afraid. There's no human in there." Trowa.
I fired my arrow and shot it right in the head. "I did it!!"
Trowa's face popped up on my screen. "Corazon you did great. You didn't miss either." He gave me a smile. A smile that I wished I saw more often but nonetheless, adored his smile.
I destroyed every mobile doll that came my way. I felt invincible.
But then something I didn't expect happened.
"Gundam pilots." A face. A face appeared on my screen. It was a face I remembered.
Greg. That man from the diner. He was whom I considered as a friend and now I'm fighting him.
"Gundam pilots. I see you have defeated my new toys. Now try to defeat me!" He was scary. His voice was loud and thunderous.
Duo's voice screeched through my cockpit. "Corazon you wanna take care of this guy? It will prove great to Hilde and the girls.
"I.. but.. I…" I wanted to be a great pilot. "I will."
Greg's mobile suit flew past me and attacked the villages back on the ground. "Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!" His laugh was so bitter.
Without any sense I flew in front of him. "Greg stop it! Please! It's me that little girl from the diner? The one you talked about the war with? It's me!"
"Hey little one. What are you doing in that suit?" Now is voice lessened.
I gulped and aimed an arrow at him. "I am a pilot. A Gundam pilot. Stop killing all the people down there! Please!"
A smirk crept up his face with his eyes darkened. "I'm sorry Corazon. I can't do that!!" Greg's beam canon fired and the energy blast zoomed right past me and destroyed about a 2-mile radius worth of land with homes on them.
"Greg!" It was too late! He was already behind me shooting more innocent people. Then… his gun was aimed at the mansion. Where we live…
His beam canon grew red. "May this worthless building burn in hell!"
I shot my arrow and knocked out the canon and the mobile suit's hand. "Don't destroy that!"
"Heh, I can still destroy it with my mobile suit!" Greg's suit was falling toward the mansion.
I darted my Gundam and blocked him with my hands and arms. "Stop! My friends are down there!" I desperately tried keeping him from getting closer.
Everyone's image came on my screen. Trowa's was in front and spoke to me. "Corazon. We know you can do this. I know it's hard to stop or kill someone who you know. But if he lives he'll destroy more lives than he just did today."
"I won't… I won't let you do that!! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!" I got and arrow in my hand. With only one available hand he was getting closer.
I have to do it…
I can't save him…
I lied….
I do kill people…
"No!!!" I stabbed my arrow at the cockpit. I moved his suit and mine to hit baron ground. His was crushed under mine. He was dead.
I felt dead.
I killed someone.
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After my first battle everyone cheered and congratulated me. I smiled and laughed but that was the outside.
We ate together and talked together. I just couldn't keep up.
There are usually 10 chairs in the living room so I sat in front of Trowa with my head leaning on his knees. Occasionally he would have his elbows on his legs and his fingers play with my hair. It really must have been bored for him. Well, it was Relena who was talking the most.
My eyes feel so heavy! I am falling asleep!
There was a tap on my shoulder and I sat straight up.
Trowa moved his mouth to my ear. "Corazon. If you're tired you can leave."
I turned to him. "Heh, don't worry. I'm fine."
I wasn't. I still felt horrible in the battle.
Still.. I felt so tired. So I closed my eyes for a while.
30 MINUTES LATER
"Corazon. Wake up."
I opened my eyes and realized I was sleeping through the conversation. "Oh my God! I fell asleep!" I quickly stood up.
"It's ok Corazon. Everyone just left." Trowa stood up in front of me.
I slumped my shoulders and sighed. "I'm sorry. I usually don't fall asleep so easily."
Trowa smiled humbly "It just must have been the battle. It tires out anybody. By the way, I have to say good job again. You were wonderful for your first time."
"It wasn't good. It maybe ok for you guys because you have always killed. I'm not used to it and he was some what of a friend." I felt bad. I felt as if I was upsetting Trowa.
" Don't feel bad…"
I snapped. "Feel bad! I feel worse than that! I never killed anyone before! I know dying shouldn't be a surprise to me since it was a part of my life but… but it was hard."
"Corazon, yes it's hard but as a pilot you have to know your duty as a pilot." Trowa was really trying to make me feel better. It wasn't working. I wish it did.
Anger was all I felt. I didn't like it! I didn't like it at all! "I hate myself! I don't want to kill people! I hate myself for even considering being a pilot!! I just want to die!!"
"Corazon! Stop it!" Trowa swung his hand and slapped me.