Helplessness. Jarod was all too familiar with this emotion's icy grip. The Centre had relentlessly saturated his soul with it. Not surprisingly, with his first breath of Centre-free air, Jarod had bitterly sworn that he would never be helpless again.
But as he examined Parker, he could not ward off the helplessness that pierced his soul. Yes, the doctor in him could stitch the knife cuts, wrap her raw wrists, could tend to the bruises that marred her beautiful face and spread across her ribs. But Jarod the man was helpless to erase the torture she had endured. Torture that had been inflicted on her because of his actions, his pretend, his pride.
As he had in the past hours, Jarod sat in a chair beside Parker, his sight transfixed on Parker's motionless, bruised face. His own words to Parker kept running through his head, "Trust me. I'ld never hurt you Parker."
With self-hatred, Jarod surged to his feet and began to pace the length of the small room. He had foolishly thought he could protect her, could control the actions of Antonio, of Chase. He had been wrong and she had paid the price. Dearly. Almost with her very life.
Sinking back into the chair beside Parker, Jarod held his head in his hands. He hadn't lied when he had told Parker "I'ld die if I lost you". Even at the "thought" of losing her to death, his soul had began to wither.
All this time he had sworn that when he reunited with his family he'd never take them for granted. But he had taken Parker for granted, time and again. Had resorted to tauntings and clues and unfinished phone calls in the middle of the night. Even during the times when her life had hung in the balance, he had chosen to hide behind his pretend façade, afraid or unwilling to let her see his true concern. Now with painful certainty, he knew what a fool he had been for she was a part of his soul as much as his family ever could be.
"Mom," Parker called softly, causing Jarod's head to snap up even as his hand sprang to caress her cheek. With relief, Jarod sensed Parker was emerging from the cocoon of unconsciousness that had held her in it's fold for the past six hours.
Again "Mom" broke from Parker's cut lips and her plea tore into Jarod's heart. Suddenly Jarod was struck with the truth. Parker knew exactly how precious family was and how agonizing it was to be separated from them. Just like he did.
Leaning close to Parker, Jarod stroked Parker's face and murmured, "I'll help you find your mom, Parker." He was unprepared for Parker's eyes to open and meet his own with such lucidity. But it was her first coherent words that shocked him to his core.
"My mother's dead, Jarod," Parker's voice was soft and cloaked with weary acceptance.
Jarod did not doubt the conviction of Parker's words. Not when he looked in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Parker," his own voice thick with emotions. "I..I didn't know.."
Parker put her fingers gently to Jarod's lips, halting his words. She wanted to say something strong, something that proved to Jarod that she could handle the cruelties dealt her time and again. But months of sorrow and loneliness, added to Antonio's torture and the dream of her mother's goodbye had unmercifully melted the reservoir of her icy façade. Tears gathered in her eyes and slipped down her bruised cheeks and a sob broke from her like it was ripped from the depths of her soul.
Instantly Jarod claimed a seat on the bed and gathered Parker into his arms. Mindful of her injuries, he settled her against his chest and held her as tightly as he dared as the sobs wracked her body. There was little he could say to ease her sorrow. He knew how he felt when Kyle had died. The only true comfort he had wanted, he could never have because death never relinquishes it's prey. No, all the comfort he could offer her was his presence and his love for her.
Slipping her arms around Jarod's waist, Parker clung to the solace she felt just by being held in his embrace. And for the first time since she had viewed the DSA and knew her mother's final fate, Parker allowed herself to cry the tears she had forbade herself to let fall.
When her sobs finally dissolved, Parker laid spent, emotionally and physically, against Jarod's chest but didn't relinquish her hold of him. "Scarface dead?" she quietly asked and she felt Jarod stiffen under her.
"Yes," Jarod bit out, his ignited fury making speech barely possible.
"Damn, I wanted to sign him up for some of the Centre's pain threshold experiments," Parker drawled with some of her usual venom.
Jarod couldn't hold back his chuckle or fight the joy he felt at hearing venom drip from Parker's words. Under all the cuts and bruises and tears, the same old Parker spirit thrived. "Cheer up, maybe Chase'll let you have Pauly."
Parker snorted, "That whelp would be broken before they wheeled out the "equipment" for the experiments!"
A silence fell in the room and Jarod lightly caressed Parker's hair. Then, with unveiled anguish, Jarod choked out, "I'm sorry I got you involved. I'm sorry I let them hurt you, that I didn't protect you. I should have never let them bring you to the villa!" His self-loathing growing with each apology.
"You act like Chase gave us an option to go on this little "vacation?!" Parker snorted without giving up her comfy position in Jarod's arms. "I hate to break it to you Jarod, but you haven't been in control of this situation from the start. " Then, tilting her head up for the first time, she met Jarod's look. "Unless you still want to try and convince me that things were going as you planned back at the warehouse, with Antonio about to put a bullet in your skull," she teased, her lips almost turning up in a smile.
Caught off guard by Parker's teasing tone, Jarod couldn't fight the smile that spread across his face. "Maybe things weren't going exactly as I planned."
"Really?" Parker taunted. "Let me guess, you wanted Chase to shoot you personally?"
Jarod's laughter reverberated through his chest and he impulsively kissed Parker's nose. "You just love the fact that you saved my life."
"Almost as much as I love the fact that you saved my life today," Parker sallied back.
But, instead of taking the retort with humor as Parker intended, Jarod's eyes darkened with anguish at her words. "Parker.." he began, his tone thick with regret.
Parker cut off the apology she knew was coming. "Jarod, it wasn't your job to protect me." A hard edge began to return to her voice. "It's up to me to protect myself. Besides, it's not like I didn't have some of this coming. You know the saying "If you dish it out, you got to be able to take it" and you of all people know how ruthless I can be." Jarod frowned at the judgmental words Parker flung at herself. But, sensing Jarod was about to defend her, Parker sharply commanded, "Don't. Don't try and defend me." And she began to pull from Jarod's embrace.
Capturing her face in his hands, Jarod stopped her escape. "You did not deserve this! None of it!" his voice emphatic, while his eyes were warm with compassion. "You deserve the best this life has to offer." A beat of silence. "You always did."
Parker's heart silently questioned, 'But do I deserve you, Jarod?'
TBC (One more chapter and I'll wrap this tale up!!)
But as he examined Parker, he could not ward off the helplessness that pierced his soul. Yes, the doctor in him could stitch the knife cuts, wrap her raw wrists, could tend to the bruises that marred her beautiful face and spread across her ribs. But Jarod the man was helpless to erase the torture she had endured. Torture that had been inflicted on her because of his actions, his pretend, his pride.
As he had in the past hours, Jarod sat in a chair beside Parker, his sight transfixed on Parker's motionless, bruised face. His own words to Parker kept running through his head, "Trust me. I'ld never hurt you Parker."
With self-hatred, Jarod surged to his feet and began to pace the length of the small room. He had foolishly thought he could protect her, could control the actions of Antonio, of Chase. He had been wrong and she had paid the price. Dearly. Almost with her very life.
Sinking back into the chair beside Parker, Jarod held his head in his hands. He hadn't lied when he had told Parker "I'ld die if I lost you". Even at the "thought" of losing her to death, his soul had began to wither.
All this time he had sworn that when he reunited with his family he'd never take them for granted. But he had taken Parker for granted, time and again. Had resorted to tauntings and clues and unfinished phone calls in the middle of the night. Even during the times when her life had hung in the balance, he had chosen to hide behind his pretend façade, afraid or unwilling to let her see his true concern. Now with painful certainty, he knew what a fool he had been for she was a part of his soul as much as his family ever could be.
"Mom," Parker called softly, causing Jarod's head to snap up even as his hand sprang to caress her cheek. With relief, Jarod sensed Parker was emerging from the cocoon of unconsciousness that had held her in it's fold for the past six hours.
Again "Mom" broke from Parker's cut lips and her plea tore into Jarod's heart. Suddenly Jarod was struck with the truth. Parker knew exactly how precious family was and how agonizing it was to be separated from them. Just like he did.
Leaning close to Parker, Jarod stroked Parker's face and murmured, "I'll help you find your mom, Parker." He was unprepared for Parker's eyes to open and meet his own with such lucidity. But it was her first coherent words that shocked him to his core.
"My mother's dead, Jarod," Parker's voice was soft and cloaked with weary acceptance.
Jarod did not doubt the conviction of Parker's words. Not when he looked in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Parker," his own voice thick with emotions. "I..I didn't know.."
Parker put her fingers gently to Jarod's lips, halting his words. She wanted to say something strong, something that proved to Jarod that she could handle the cruelties dealt her time and again. But months of sorrow and loneliness, added to Antonio's torture and the dream of her mother's goodbye had unmercifully melted the reservoir of her icy façade. Tears gathered in her eyes and slipped down her bruised cheeks and a sob broke from her like it was ripped from the depths of her soul.
Instantly Jarod claimed a seat on the bed and gathered Parker into his arms. Mindful of her injuries, he settled her against his chest and held her as tightly as he dared as the sobs wracked her body. There was little he could say to ease her sorrow. He knew how he felt when Kyle had died. The only true comfort he had wanted, he could never have because death never relinquishes it's prey. No, all the comfort he could offer her was his presence and his love for her.
Slipping her arms around Jarod's waist, Parker clung to the solace she felt just by being held in his embrace. And for the first time since she had viewed the DSA and knew her mother's final fate, Parker allowed herself to cry the tears she had forbade herself to let fall.
When her sobs finally dissolved, Parker laid spent, emotionally and physically, against Jarod's chest but didn't relinquish her hold of him. "Scarface dead?" she quietly asked and she felt Jarod stiffen under her.
"Yes," Jarod bit out, his ignited fury making speech barely possible.
"Damn, I wanted to sign him up for some of the Centre's pain threshold experiments," Parker drawled with some of her usual venom.
Jarod couldn't hold back his chuckle or fight the joy he felt at hearing venom drip from Parker's words. Under all the cuts and bruises and tears, the same old Parker spirit thrived. "Cheer up, maybe Chase'll let you have Pauly."
Parker snorted, "That whelp would be broken before they wheeled out the "equipment" for the experiments!"
A silence fell in the room and Jarod lightly caressed Parker's hair. Then, with unveiled anguish, Jarod choked out, "I'm sorry I got you involved. I'm sorry I let them hurt you, that I didn't protect you. I should have never let them bring you to the villa!" His self-loathing growing with each apology.
"You act like Chase gave us an option to go on this little "vacation?!" Parker snorted without giving up her comfy position in Jarod's arms. "I hate to break it to you Jarod, but you haven't been in control of this situation from the start. " Then, tilting her head up for the first time, she met Jarod's look. "Unless you still want to try and convince me that things were going as you planned back at the warehouse, with Antonio about to put a bullet in your skull," she teased, her lips almost turning up in a smile.
Caught off guard by Parker's teasing tone, Jarod couldn't fight the smile that spread across his face. "Maybe things weren't going exactly as I planned."
"Really?" Parker taunted. "Let me guess, you wanted Chase to shoot you personally?"
Jarod's laughter reverberated through his chest and he impulsively kissed Parker's nose. "You just love the fact that you saved my life."
"Almost as much as I love the fact that you saved my life today," Parker sallied back.
But, instead of taking the retort with humor as Parker intended, Jarod's eyes darkened with anguish at her words. "Parker.." he began, his tone thick with regret.
Parker cut off the apology she knew was coming. "Jarod, it wasn't your job to protect me." A hard edge began to return to her voice. "It's up to me to protect myself. Besides, it's not like I didn't have some of this coming. You know the saying "If you dish it out, you got to be able to take it" and you of all people know how ruthless I can be." Jarod frowned at the judgmental words Parker flung at herself. But, sensing Jarod was about to defend her, Parker sharply commanded, "Don't. Don't try and defend me." And she began to pull from Jarod's embrace.
Capturing her face in his hands, Jarod stopped her escape. "You did not deserve this! None of it!" his voice emphatic, while his eyes were warm with compassion. "You deserve the best this life has to offer." A beat of silence. "You always did."
Parker's heart silently questioned, 'But do I deserve you, Jarod?'
TBC (One more chapter and I'll wrap this tale up!!)