ALCHOHOL!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

N/B I do not own Beyblade or its characters. All characters here are in the Jap version... but I'm still not very confirmative of their names.

~*~

Yuli, Boris and Kai were walking down the street when they accidentally bumped into Oliver (A/N No matter how you pronounce his name, it's still "Oliver").

"Watch where you're going... woman," Boris snorted in disgust.

"I'd say YOU watch what you're saying." Oliver growled back, ignoring the fact he was a head shorter than Yuli.

"Ignore him, Boris. Sissies are not to be mingled with." Yuli smirked, knowing what the reaction would be.

2 Mary sues popped out of nowhere and started fawning over Yuli. (A/N That was not what he predicted -_-)

"I'm as man as YOU are, Russian," Oliver snarled, his face turning pinkish.
"Yeah, what if we take you on in a competition?" Jan said, popping out of nowhere.

"And what competition, I'd ask?" Both the Russians returned coldly. Kai kept his silence.

Looking confused for a moment, Jan started "err"-ing.
Johnny popped out of nowhere and pushed a Mentos into Jan's mouth.

"MENTOS FRESHMAKER!!!" Jan yelled happily, cape and all.

"I've got no ideas." Jan shrugged.

Everyone facefaulted.

Ralf popped up next and poured a whole tube of smarties down Jan's throat.

"SMARTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!!! THE SMART CHOICE!!!!!!!"

He started boogying with the Mary sues and rolling around. (Smarties are round, right? Right? Right?)

"What about an alchohol competition?" Oliver sighed in defeat, ignoring his best friend's singing.

"You're all on!" Yuli laughed evilly. (A/N MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA)

How do I always get dragged into these kinda things? Kai cursed softly.

~*At Ralf's Mansion (aka castle)*~

"Ok, the rules are that whoever can still walk in a straight line after 900 pints of alchohol is the most... errr... masculine" Lightning announced. (I needed someone neutral so I had to use my OC)

Everyone nodded in agreement, particularly Oliver who bobbed his head so hard, his baret fell off.

"BUT KAI-KUN WILL DEFINITELY WIN!!!!" (name of Kai fan insert here) shouted at the top of her lungs.

"NO, JOHNNY WILL WIN!" Lightning screamed back.

"KAAAAAAIIII!!!!!"

"NO, IT'S JOHNNY!"

~It goes on, but you'll find out later.~

Yuli was gulping down his wine/beer/mead/alchohol like there was no tomorrow.
Boris was doing the same.

Kai was scrutinizing the drinks in case someone had poisoned them.

Ralf was sipping it slowly.
Jan was slinging his arms around the two mary-sues and was indifferent to the surroundings.
Johnny was glaring at Kai, then Yuli, then Boris, the taking a huge gulp before repeating it.

Oliver was mixing the drinks to see if they made a nicer combination. ("Sacre bleu! This tastes so bland _")

All of a sudden, he hiccoughed into a bottle.

The bottle returned it with a nice hollowy sound.
Oliver tried another note.
"Duu"
Another.
"Du"

"Duu"
"Du"
"Duu du dooooo du duu"

Everyone looked up from their drinking (except Jan and Yuli)

Johnny blew a few notes along with Oliver.

"Du Dooooo du doooOO"

Until they reached the chorus.

I LOVE YOU, BAAAAAAABY, (Johnny and Oliver clinked their glasses together)
I'D SAY IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT
I NEED YOU BAAAABY
TO WIN THIS ALCHOHOL FIGHT (Yuli looked up drowsily)
I LOVE YOU BAAAABY
TRUST ME WHEN? (Everyone yelled, "NOW, TODAY!")
OH TASTY BAAAAABY (Ralf raised one questioning eyebrow)
DON'T LET ME DOWN, I SAY
TO PROVE THAT I DEFINITELY, AM NOT GAY
YOU BETTER HELP ME, BABY
LET ME WIN THE FIIIIGHT

Oliver sank back down into his chair and hiccupped.
"I here *hic* by declare *ic* this alchohol *hiccup* Carlsberg." (A/N Disclaimer: I do not own the advertisements either)

~*Back to the Girls*~

"NO, IT'S KAI!!!"
"IT'S JOHNNY!"
"KAI!"
"NO IT'S JOHNNY!"
"IT'S KAI!!!"
"NO, IT'S JOHNNY!"
"IT'S KAAAAAIIIII!"
"JOHNNY!!!!!!!!!"

~ **ahem* Back to the boys.*~

The current score:
Yuli : 589 pints
Boris : 589 pints (they're both perfect children afterall)
Kai : 527 pints ("GOOOOOO KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!")
Ralf :530 pints (what can I say, he's much older)
Jan : 3 pints (womanizer)
Johnny : 541 (what's with all the gulping) ("Nieh Nieh" :P )
Oliver : 514 (ah well, he's mixing everything up anyways)

"Wahsh thish?" Boris asked, popping open a bottle of Guiness stout.

On the label read "Adam King".

"Whosh Asham Kinngg?"

"что? где?"
"там и сям, разбросанно, повсюду!!"

"バカ," Kai growled softly.
"Come to think of *hic* it, who is Adam *hic* King?" Oliver questioned.

"Adam King is an adventurer cum photog... mmmph!" Ralf struggled as Johnny clamped his mouth shut with his bandana and tied him to a chair in such a way so that he could still drink his drinks yet not be able to run away.

(I wonder if that is even possible)

"Yeah, who's Adam King?" Jan asked, taking a sip of white wine.

"Who's Adam King?"
"Adam King?"
"Who's he?"

Very soon, the boys (minus Ralf and Kai and Yuli) were parading around the room, strangely in black shirts with "Who's Adam King" printed in white.

"WHO'S ADAM KING? WHO'S ADAM KING? WHO..."

"Will you guys shut up? We can hardly hear ourselves!" Lightning screamed.

A guy suddenly popped out of thin air.
He had a moustache.

He was dressed in black and.... black.

He had black hair.


He had a camera.

"Did someone call me?"

Everyone looked at him strangely.

Adam King shrugged and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Now that was weird." Yuli stated.

~*2 hours later*~

Score Table:

Yuli : 900 pints and counting
Boris : see above
Kai : 900 ("YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!")
Ralf : 900 (every single drop)
Johnny : 900 ("BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!")
Jan : 5 ("Hey! At least I have the girls!")
Oliver : 900 ("Heehee, red wine and rum taste nice")

~*~

"JOHNNY!"
"KAI!!!!"
"JOHNNY!!!!!"
"KAIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!"
"JOHNNY!"
"KAII!!!"
"JOOOOOHNNY!"
"KAAAAAIIII!!!!"

~*~

"Owch." Boris landed on his butt after taking 29 steps.
Behind him sat Ralf (1 step only cause he decided not to continue to play this uncouth game), who looked both bored and pissed.

Yuli took one more step than Boris.
Then he fell face first.

"KAAAAIIIII!!!!"
"JOHNNY!"
"KAI!"
"JOOOOOHNNY!"

"Hey chicks, check it out. It's Kai AND Johnny. New flavour from Fisherman's... ARGH!"

Both Lightning and the Kai fan had tackled Jan to the floor and started to duck tape his mouth.

And as usual, the mary sues disappeared again.

"'Scuse me, but both of them have fainted," Olive hiccuped as he continued walking on.

O.o

O_o

X_x

"The winner of the alchohol contest is Oliver then."

But OLiver kept walking...

and walking

and walking.

~owari.

Notes

что? где? is the Russian equivilant of What? Where? or at least I think it is. I trust the online dictionary.
там и сям, разбросанно, повсюду is "here there everywhere" once again, I only have my suspicions.
バカ is baka. No prizes for guessing the meaning.

I live in Singapore, so all the advertisements are local. So if you don't understand the joke, then hit me. u.u

And if the foreign words do not come out correct, blame it on fanfiction.net. (Hey, it rhymes!)