(The next day….. Doose's Market)
"Jess".
Oh my god. Jess felt like his heart stopped beating. He felt like his whole system had stopped functioning. Is it her? No, no way, it can't be her… Jess frowned.
"Jess", louder this time.
My god, it is her! He turned around and there she was standing right in front of him. For the first time he was speechless. He's been counting and waiting for this day. Damn, she looks beautiful. If they weren't in this stupid market, he would've grabbed and kissed her by now.
"Rory…", He forced a smile. "I didn't know that you're back." He sounded hurt, and weird at the same time. Yeah… she's back! And of course…. She didn't tell me.
Thinking about that, made him feels… MaD! He really mad at her right now! This isn't fair for him. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve this at all. Not only she didn't call him over the summer, she didn't even bother to tell him that she's back!
Was it too hard to pick up the phone and dial my number? At least let me know that you're home. Safe. That's all I need so I can stop wondering how you were, and I can stop walking around your house like an idiot! Why am I the last person you're going to tell since I'm the one who kept thinking and worrying about you these past two months? I'm the one who've been waiting patiently by the phone and hoping that you'll call me? You could at least explain to me why did you kiss me? I deserved to know why!
Tons of questions running through his head. All he needed was the answers.
Rory noticed the anger in Jess' eyes.
"I'm Sorry I didn't tell you Jess".
Yeah sure….
"I just-"
"Why did you kiss me Rory?". There, I said it! Now watcha gonna say Ror??
Rory looked terrified with his question. She glanced around the market, searching for someone.
" What? Scared that bag boy will find out?".
"Jess!". Rory yelled at him. She grabbed his arm and led him outside the market. Jess rolled his eyes.
[Outside]
"He's gunna find out anyway,"
"He's not" ,
What??! Did she just said…"he's not going to find out because you and me are not going to tell him."
Jess' jaw dropped. Rory's answers seemed to surprise him. It's like…. It's like she's been thinking and practicing what she's going to tell him. And that hurts. A lot.
"Oh really? And why do you think I would do that?".
"Because…", Rory hesitated. " … you're my friend and you always be a good friend to me, I just want you to do me a favor, just this once… Jess, please…".
Jess took a step back. The word cut like glass. No , no, no…. this can't be happening. She said I'm just a friend. A FRIEND. F.R.I.E.N.D.!!! That's the last word he wanted to hear from Rory's mouth. He can barely breathe. He can't believe this one word could break his heart in pieces.
"And Jess," Rory stared right into his eyes.
No, Please don't say that another word. I really do not need to hear it right now.
"I'm sorry that I kissed you…",
Oh god….
"I was confused and that kiss was just a.."
"Mistake", he finished her final word, almost in tears. His knees got weakened and it's amazing how he could stand still. He didn't want to hear that damn word from her. He can't accept it. He just…. Can't. So that's why he finished it for her. Deep , deeeep inside, he wished that it's not true, he wished that she's going to deny it and proved that what he said was wrong but he saw her nodding, agreeing to his word. Jess didn't know what to think- or feel. His brain was muddled mess. His heart, wreck. He felt rather …. Numb.
And the worst thing was about to happen. Soon.
"Hey Rory", ok… maybe a little too soon
"Oh Dean. Hi!". Dean gave her a quick kiss on her lips.
This is not happening. This is soo…. Not happening. God HelpMe!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm
reaching out without a sound
My pride falls to the floor again
Inside my mind I search to find
A place just to call my own
Deep inside your eyes
I am blinded by your love
Still I run so far just to find that
I'm alone again
In my head
I hear you calling me
And I can't run 'cause there's nothing left for me
When I fall you always follow me deep inside
Deep inside
Deep inside of my head
I just can't last as these feelings pass
Once again I hide the pain inside
The smile wears thin and the lies begin
To bring me down again
When I run I run so far away from you
I hide the pain and all the lies deep inside again
And all my faith I put in you
This time you take it all away
Inside my head
Deep inside
My head