Eternal Return

A/N. Thanks for staying tuned! Have fun reading part b. I hope you like the Ran/Ken interaction as much as I do, but don't expect everything to be well, now that Ran finally seems to have his beloved back. There is still one large (probably split) chapter and a fairly long epilogue to come. Not that much more if you think about it, but don't expect a solution in this part.

Enjoy and read!

**Where is the dream we were dreaming

And all the nights we shared

Where did they go?

I just don't know

And I can't tell you just how much I miss you.**

( ABBA – Hasta Mañana)

Chapter 3b – In caritate servire

"Ran-sama?!"

Tears threatened to spill over when the silent redhead took in the form of the person he had promised to wait for, almost two hundred years ago. He was so lost in memories of the past that he failed to hear his young servant and friend calling him.

He almost couldn't believe it when Omi had come back earlier that day. In his arms bleeding from several injuries on his face, arms and legs had laid the deathly still body of his beloved's incarnation.

Omi had only muttered something about grotto and ground giving in, before the boy disappeared in one of the master bedrooms to take care of the injured brunette. He had refused to tell anything more when Ran demanded to know what exactly happened and why Omi had disobeyed his explicit wishes. After having calmed down enough to think rationally about the whole situation, it became painfully clear to Ran why his blonde servant had acted against his orders. The boy had only tried to save the life of Cain,...no Ken, as it was the brunette's name in this lifetime.

He was amazed and saddened how much Ken and Cain resembled each other and judging from Omi´s earlier reaction not only in looks. He longed to see the boy open his eyes, so he could find out if his eyes were the same expressive brown he remembered and loved so dearly. But, it wasn't certain yet if the boy would ever open his eyes again. Omi was still busy tending to his wounds and hadn't mentioned anything on his condition yet.

Ran´s heart wept upon seeing the ghastly pale of Ken's cheeks. Images flooded his mind. Images of a dying boy in his arms, warm blood spurting from his lips and oozing out of a deadly wound in his chest. Cold metal that had ended the life of one so young and innocent. He clenched his fists at the memory. He had sworn not to blame Cain's father for the death of his young lover, but at times like these it was a nearly impossible task not to think of what could have been if he had taken revenge upon his beloved's death. It was part of the past and he had learned to deal with it. Maybe not accept it. Never accept it as his thoughts reminded him just now, but the fierce pain that had threatened to tear his heart into tiny pieces at first, had lessened to a dull ache. Cain had promised to come back to him and this vow had kept him alive over all these years. He knew that without this tiny hope he would have followed his lover into death.

/I will return for you then./

It seemed that the brunette had kept his promise. A faint smile crept onto his face at the thought. Cain had finally come back to him.

"Ran-sama?"

This time he was aware of his servant's call and looked up with a tired, yet somehow happy expression on is face. Absentmindedly he stroked the boy's pale cheek, careful as not to graze a nasty scratch near his right temple. Omi was in the process of setting Ken's left leg, halting every once in a while when a pained whimper escaped the unconscious youth's lips.

"How is he?", Ran asked voice tight with worry. He couldn't loose the brunette so soon after he had found him again. He wouldn't allow that to happen.

The blonde boy smiled in reassurance at him. He stopped his ministrations and patted the redhead's hand softly.

"Considering that he fell off a height of approximately ten metres on hard pavement, I would say, surprisingly well, my Lord. Cain-sama...I mean Ken-sama must have had about a dozen Guardian angels. Otherwise I can't explain how he survived the fall with only minor injuries..."

Ran listened intently to the blonde's speech and nodded slightly for him to continue. Ten metres. Gods, why did it always have to be him?

"You've seen the scratches and bruises on his face and arms. They will heal in a few days without scarring. I could make out some minor internal bleeding, but it wasn't life threatening. I gave him some of the healing potion to stop the bleeding. His leg is broken, but I managed to set it. He is lucky to be unconscious. I can tell from experience that it hurts like hell."

Omi finished his explanations and placed a light blanket over Ken to keep the boy warm. The air was slightly chilly in the room and Ken had been undressed earlier to have access to the wounds. Now the unconscious teenager was only wearing a thin white satin-shirt that barely covered the necessities. Something akin to a smile graced the brunette's face when the blanket enveloped him in pleasant warmth.

"I will try to make another potion to fasten the healing process. With its aid he should be up and running in a few days time, maybe even faster. The injuries were not too serious."

"What happened really, Omi? Where is Ken's companion? You didn't let him enter through the portal, did you?", Ran asked and couldn't help but staring at the sleeping brunette as if he would disappear any second. His voice was tinted with genuine worry and love for Ken, but there was also a hint of jealousy when he mentioned the blonde man that had accompanied his former lover.

The young servant bowed his head trying to find a suitable explanation for all that had occurred during the past few hours.

"I followed them as you ordered me to, my Lord. Everything was alright until they entered the grotto above the portal chamber. I don't know what happened, but the ground collapsed suddenly and Ken-sama fell into the chamber below. When I realised what had happened, I left through the secret gangway and tried to reach him before his companion did. I was able to bring Ken-sama here without the blonde noticing. He shouldn't be able to open the portal."

Ran scrutinised the blonde boy with a serious expression on his noble face. Omi´s retelling of the events also told him that to some point, the boy had acted against his wishes, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry at him. Now that he was able to see the face of the one person he had missed for two hundred years, nothing else mattered anymore. He finally had his beloved back.

"Make sure that he stays away from the portal. Don't let yourself be seen! I am almost sure that he doesn't know about the entrance into our realm, but he *will* try to find the boy."

Ran clenched his fists tight enough to draw blood. He was well aware of the fact that he was being selfish by trying to keep the blonde warrior away from his young lover, but didn't he finally deserve some happiness as well after waiting for long?

He glanced again at the sleeping boy, eyes softening as they wandered admiringly over his body trying to memorise every feature, every detail of him. He sighed knowing that he would have to come to a decision very soon. A decision that concerned his future and happiness as well as that of Ken. He shifted his gaze to Omi who was still waiting patiently for last orders. Ran´s lips curved into a sad smile.

"I´d like to be alone with him for a while. Don't let anyone enter the quarters without my explicit wishes or your approval. I trust your judgement not to let anyone disturb me if not utterly necessary. And...", he halted for a second, "...keep *him* away or at least try to. If he manages to get past our defences, I will try to think of another solution. But not now."

Omi nodded in understanding and threw one last longing glance at Ken. Ran knew how much the boy adored the brunette, him having been like the brother he never had. Finally Omi turned around and headed towards the large wooden doors opposite to the canopy bed. One final sigh could be heard, then Ran was left alone with the still unconscious youth.

The redhead stood up and walked to the open window to his left, but not before gently caressing Ken's cheek one more time. He sat onto the window sill and stared outside into his gardens waiting for the youth to wake up. The last rays of sunlight lit up his face in an almost ethereal glow bathing his pale skin in warmth. Yet, they weren't able to touch the fear and numbness that currently occupied his heart making him feel cold and frozen.

He felt a little better when he observed the changes in nature that the dawn brought along. The setting sun enflamed the usually clear blue waters of the small lake in a cascade of colours ranging from deep red to yellow and orange. Birds settled down to sleep while other animals chose to awake from their slumber. The trees swayed softly in the upcoming winds of night.

He shivered a little as coldness penetrated him and closed his eyes as the world finally disappeared into darkness, only some twinkling stars enlightening the evening sky. The moon wouldn't be up till midnight. Ran sighed . He loved to watch the moon rise and set. Its simple radiance and beauty, so unlike that of the gleaming white of the sun,...it calmed his heart and made him feel at ease. He opened his eyes again and simply enjoyed staring out into the night for a few more minutes.

The sad melody of a nightingale floated along with the winds. The bird's song seemed to come from the pavilion at the lake. Even before he had met Cain, their gardens had been amazingly similar to each other as if one of them had used the other as a model. But he knew it not be true. An old friend of his later explained to him that the similarities arose from them being soul mates. After the youth had died he had erased all last differences between both gardens. Now the park was an exact copy of the place Cain had lived at, a steady reminder of what had once been and what would hopefully soon be again.

Ran stood up and marched back to the canopy bed. Omi had lit several candles even before he had started tending to Ken's injuries. The boy's face was still deathly pale, but he seemed calm and not to be in pain.

He remembered when they met each other for the first time. Back then it had been him that needed to be taken care of although the brunette himself had been far from healthy as well. History seemed to repeat itself, he thought wryly and with slight anticipation. There were things he preferred not to relive again.

His attention focused on Ken when he noticed a small frown that creased the youth's eyebrow. The frown was followed shortly by a low moan when the boy moved a little and accidentally applied pressure to his broken leg. The redhead was immediately at his side and waited for the teenager to wake up completely.

Slowly, the brunette's lashes fluttered open revealing two shimmering brown orbs fogged by sleep and utter exhaustion. Ran´s heart stopped at beat upon seeing the boy's eyes. He remembered his first meeting with Cain. He could have drowned in those eyes. He had learned that the eyes were the windows to one's soul and Ran knew it to be right since Cain. He had discovered more about the boy by looking into his eyes than actually asking him a specific question. It had been a mutual thing. Cain had been able to read him like an open book. Words were often not necessary. Love doesn't need words, or does it? It's the heart talking and in their case speaking through their eyes.

Ran smiled.

Now, he experienced much the same feeling with Ken. There was a depth in those dark, doe eyes that seemed to pull their spectator into their spell, haunted them for the rest of their life. Ran could close his own amethyst-like eyes, yet he would always be able to remember those expressive orbs in front of him.

The brunette's eyes slowly focused and took in their surroundings. They widened as they fell upon the (what Ran supposed would be) tall handsome redhead staring down at him.

The youth blanched and tried to rise from the bed, barely managing to lift his upper body due to exhaustion.

"Where am I? Who are you? Where is Youji? Youji?!"

A panicky note entered Ken's voice and Ran watched silently as the boy scanned the whole room looking for his blonde companion, protector and lover. He tried to help him sit up a little, but as soon as he touched the brunette, the boy let out a frightened gasp and pushed him feebly away. The instinctive act hurt Ran´s feelings, but he had somehow expected him to react like that and complied to the unspoken wish by retreating a few feet.

Almost at the same instant the injured boy tried to jump out of the large bed, but fell back with a pained whimper.

"Youji?! Where is Youji?", Ken cried out tears threatening to fall. "Where am I?"

Ran knew how it was to wake up to completely new surroundings without any familiar face to be near. It was obvious to him that thus the situation distressed the brunette greatly. He could feel the youth's anguish. After all they still shared some kind of a bond, even if Ken wasn't aware of it.

He carefully took the trembling youth in a gentle embrace mindful not to give him a feeling of being trapped. This time the boy didn't try to push him away, but slumped awkwardly into his arms. He knew that he was still a complete stranger to Ken, but the boy seemed to trust him as he calmed down considerably. Every once in a while a tiny sob escaped his lips, but otherwise he had relaxed.

"Ssh, beloved, everything is alright.", Ran soothed him.

When the boy tried to move once again, he gently stopped him and stroked his velvety soft hair.

"Don't move or you will only aggravate your injuries. You are safe here! No one is going to hurt you, I promise!"

Ken looked up at him with wide eyes that radiated innocence and confusion. The redhead carefully released the embrace. Not because he wanted to. He loved the feeling of having his beloved back in his arms. But he knew from experience that Cain had shied away from a strangers touch, only accepting closer contact from his opponent when he had initiated it. He suspected Ken doing the same.

"Where am I?", the youth whispered softly. "And who are you?"

"My name is Ran Fujimiya, the Lord of this country."

"What country?", the brunette wanted to know.

Ran´s face softened.

"It doesn't have a name, but perhaps you have heard of it nonetheless. You were brought here through the portal in the caves. I believe there are some tales about it from where you come from."

Ken's face shot up and his eyes widened in disbelief, yet also in something akin to pride.

"So, it does really exist? The portal exists?", he asked eagerly adventurous instincts kicking in. The joy was only short-lived when the youth remembered all of what had happened earlier that day.

"Was there someone else? I had a com...pa...nion with me. Is he alright?" The youth looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please tell me! Is Youji alright?"

Ran sighed and looked away almost hating himself for what he said next.

"There was no one else. My servant checked the passages and he didn't find any other person in the cave system. Maybe he left?"

Ken shook his head vigorously, eyes watering.

"He wouldn't leave me alone! He loves me!", the boy whispered.

The words were a stab to his heart. He decided to divert him and change the topic. It was painful for the both of them, although out of two different reasons. Ken was worried and frightened that something had happened to his lover. Yet, he was also scared to be left alone.

One the other hand, Ran didn't want to think further about the blonde man because every time the man was mentioned, he could feel a jealous twinge and deep sorrow that threatened to tear him apart.

"You didn't tell me your name, yet.", he said although he already knew it from Omi. Besides, the changes from Cain to Ken were not that big, at least in his opinion.

"Ken...", the youth mumbled sadly. "My name is Ken Hidaka, son of Lord Hidaka."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ken-sama."

Ran bowed formally and Ken acknowledged it with a nod. The boy stared into his eyes and opened his mouth a little in what seemed like shock. He blinked and scrutinised him closer.

"Do I know you? You seem so familiar, but I can't recall where I have seen you before."

"No, you don't know me. Maybe you confused me with someone else.", Ran lied.

Inwardly though, the youth's question lifted his heart considerably. Obviously some part of his consciousness seemed to remember him although Ken himself was not openly aware of it.

/Finally/, he thought.

"Why did you call me beloved earlier?", the boy asked curiously, tired voice tinted with a touch of embarrassment.

The redhead couldn't help but smile at that. Ken was obviously as insecure and timid concerning affections as Cain had been in the past. Inwardly he sighed a little in relief. He was well aware that he might have also became angered at being called that by a complete stranger or at least what he believed to be a stranger.

"It was but a mere slip, young one.", he lied again. "For a second I thought I recognised someone else in you."

"Oh!", was the boy's simple answer to this comment. He blinked and snuggled himself into the soft cushions a little more enjoying the warmth they provided for him. A gentle smile graced the youth's lips. "I take it you loved that person dearly to call him that, Ran-sama?"

"Yes, I loved him, indeed. He died a long time ago, but I still hope that he will come back for me one day. He promised to me!"

Ken's eyes widened and he was about to apologise for mentioning the obviously painful topic, but Ran merely shook his head and placed a finger on the boy's lips to keep him from speaking. He fought the urge to crush him into another embrace, wanting to tell him that it was him that he loved, ... him that he had waited for, but he knew that he would scare the youth with such behaviour.

"Youji calls me Kenken when we are alone.", the brunette whispered more to himself than to Ran.

The redhead's heart sank at the silent words. It was painfully clear how much Ken was in love with the blonde man being called Youji. The boy's first worry had been the whereabouts and welfare of his blonde lover. He realised that he didn't have a right to call the brunette /beloved/. This privilege was now only to be used by Ken's lover in this lifetime. He wanted to cry at the notion.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. He noted in faint amusement that Ken scrambled a little backwards in the large bed drawing the blanket even tighter around himself, trying to hide beneath it. Some things would never change. The door opened and one of the servants entered the room and bowed deeply.

"My Lord? I am very sorry to disturb you but Omi-san ordered me to bring the healing potion for the young master."

Ran smiled at the young woman and nodded for her to place the goblet with the slightly green potion on the small table near the bed. He noted that she kept throwing glances at Ken. All of his people remembered Cain and like him, they were eager to finally have him back, for they had all loved and admired the boy dearly.

The youth peeked out from under the blanket obviously not sure if to greet the servant or to stay hidden. The woman smiled and set the goblet on the table. She bowed deeply, then turned around and left the room.

Ran turned back to his young companion and was amused to see him staring sheepishly at the door. After a few seconds, Ken loosened his tight hold on the blanket revealing his face and parts of his upper body. For the first time since he woke up, the boy seemed to note his state of dress as he looked down on the white sleep-shirt that hung much too loose on his shoulders, yet seemed to be very short on other parts.

The youth lifted the blanket a few inches and flushed bright red when he realised just how short the piece of cloth really was. To his further embarrassment the shirt chose exactly that moment to slide of his slim shoulders revealing lots of silky, honey coloured skin. With a cry the boy dove under the blanket, all the while muttering apologies.

Ran´s throat had went dry at the view, heart hammering and he supposed that his face sported a similar red hue like Ken's . Remembering what little of his manners were left, he turned around a little to give the brunette the chance to bring the shirt back into order. He cursed silently. Ken had been naked earlier as well and he hadn't reacted like that. But back then, the boy had also been unconscious. He had been too worried and frightened to admire the youth's body. His welfare had had upper priority. It still was his major concern, if he thought about it clearly.

He looked back at the youth when a polite cough could be heard. He noted that the boy was still as red as a tomato all the while wringing his hands mercilessly in nervousness. The laces to the satin shirt that had been left open earlier, were now bound tightly to prevent the shirt from sliding off again.

He caught Ken's hand and gently disentangled them. The boy looked at him in confusion.

"Don't do that!", he scolded him softly. "There's no need to be so nervous and if you keep doing that you might hurt yourself."

Ran hadn't lied. Ken had dug his fingernails into his skin almost tight enough to draw blood. He relaxed upon the redhead's calm words. Ran twisted his upper body a little and grabbed the goblet still standing unused on the table. He placed the receptacle into the youth's hands and smiled a little.

"This is a potion to fasten the healing process of your injuries."

The small smile widened into an amused grin when a disgusted look crossed over the brunette's face. The boy wrinkled his nose. It looked endearingly cute, but Ran was wise not mention it to avoid further embarrassment.

"I hate medicine!", Ken muttered and stared at the goblet as if it was his worst enemy.

"Believe me, Ken-sama! I was almost sure about that one.", Ran said voice laced heavy with amusement.

The boy looked up at him and blinked.

"Really, Ran-sam...?"

The redhead interrupted the boy by placing a finger on his lips.

"Just Ran! And yes! I already supposed that you wouldn't like it. After all...who likes to take medicine, ne?"

Ken giggled at his words and nodded. His brown eyes danced merrily and without another thought, he emptied the goblet. Judging the look on his face, Ran supposed that the boy wanted to spit it out again, but he swallowed the liquid bravely. Almost immediately his eyes began to droop, the drug inside the potion taking its effect very quickly. Ken's head fell back onto the cushions and he looked at him through heavy eyelids.

"Am tired...", the youth mumbled.

Ran smiled reassuringly and patted his head in an entirely affectionate manner.

"That's normal, little one. When you wake up, you will be as good as new."

The brunette's eyes closed and Ran already thought he was asleep when they opened again.

"Nan dayo, Ken?", he asked softly.

"You'll find Yotan for me?"

The question was so innocent, the face of the youth so open and trusting. How could he deny him that little joy? Ran nodded in resignation his heart aching.

"I will find him for you, little one. Now sleep!"

The promise seemed to be all Ken needed to hear for he was fast asleep not even a second later. Ran slumped next to the boy onto the bed. He watched silently as sleep washed away all remaining traces of exhaustion and pain from Ken's face. He caressed his cheek tenderly. When soft sigh escaped from the youth's silky lips, he couldn't resist any longer and placed a soft kiss first on his forehead, then on each cheek mindful of the boy's scratches, then at last he kissed him on the mouth resting there for a moment longer before drawing back.

"Youji..."

If he hadn't been still looking into the boy's face, he might have missed that softly spoken whisper. But, as it was...he was well aware of the fact that though sensing the kiss, Ken thought it had been his lover.

A silent tear trickled down his face, followed by another, then a third. His whole mind was focused on one painful thought.

He was loosing him again!

Before he even got the chance to drown in self-misery, the door was opened and Omi stormed in with a disbelieving look written across his face. The blonde boy halted for a second when he noted the traces of tears on his cheeks, but he simply shook his head to tell him that he didn't want to talk about it. Omi sighed and nodded, coming closer to the bed. He threw a wary glance at the brunette and seemed to be relieved to find him still sleeping.

"Did he wake up while I was gone?", he asked.

Ran chose not to answer, but confirmed the question with a small nod. The redhead observed his blonde servant closer. The boy was completely out of breath indicating that he had run all the way to the chamber.

"What happened?", he asked in what he hoped to be calm and aloof voice. He was still fighting an inner turmoil, not knowing what to do about his beloved. He didn't want to bother Omi with his conflicting emotions.

Said boy shuffled nervously with one foot on the ground.

"Nagi reported to me that Ken-sama´s companion managed to open the portal into our realm. He's nearing the palace."

Ran´s mouth opened in a soundless gasp.

"Impossible! No one ever managed that before if we didn't tell him how. "

"But it's the truth. Some guards have seen him exiting the portal. They said that although confused and a little petrified upon the experience, he was heading towards the palace. Latest news told that he put up a place for the night, but we are sure he's going to continue on his way in the early morning hours. I ordered the guards and Nagi to keep watching him, but not to interfere."

Ran nodded and seemed to contemplate something. Finally he sighed and stood up walking towards the door. He glanced at Omi.

"Don't mess with him! I will handle him myself. I want to see who exactly that person is who managed to catch my beloved's heart."

~ End chapter 3b ~

A/N. I hope you enjoyed reading it and forgive me for having split it into two parts. The remaining chapters are already planned out, but I am not sure how long it will take to write them. Stay tuned and please review! How can I know if you like it or not if you don't review the story! pout

Youji will get a bigger part in the next chapter, although I wanted to include him in this one already. Still two major flashbacks ahead. Rating might go up, but I'm not sure, yet.

If there are questions on the portal...easiest way to explain it would be to compare it to a star-gate, only that it doesn't open the way to another planet, but more of another dimension or even plane of existence.