Eternal Return

A/N. Chapter 4 is going to be the last chapter, but separated in section a and b, as well as several smaller parts in those sections since I do not have time to write longer parts. After that there will also be an epilogue that will hopefully make everyone happy. Thanks for bearing with me and my long breaks in between new parts. Please don't jump at conclusions concerning the pairing. You'll have to wait till the end to know!

**In my hands

A legacy of memories

I can hear you say my name

I can almost see your smile

Feel the warmth of your embrace

But there is nothing but silence now

Around the one I loved

Is this our farewell?**

(Within Temptation - Our Farewell)

Chapter 4a (1) – Dies Ater

Youji stared into the dark abyss that had opened beneath his lovers feet mere seconds before, his mind unable to grasp what had just occurred. His hands trembled and the torch fell to the ground, the sound shattering the stunned silence that had befallen the blonde guardian.

He could still see the brunette teen in front of him, eager to explore the grotto and the rest of the system. He remembered the joyous smile on Ken's face, the squeal of delight upon finding this little treasure. Thousands of crystals were embedded into the walls and ceiling, reflecting the light of the torch and creating an almost unearthly beautiful light that shone upon his lovers face.

While he had been standing only a few metres next to him, Youji failed to notice the ground suddenly giving in and swallowing up Ken. At the youth's surprised and terrified cry, he had jumped forwards and tried to grab him, but to no avail: He merely managed to touch his fingers in a fraction of a second before he disappeared in the darkness.

/Ken! No!/, he fell to his knees frantically trying to calm his thoughts and regain composure.

"KEN!!!!!!!!"

The scream echoed through the cave system and Youji belatedly realised that this might be a fatal mistake. The remaining grounds started shaking and for a few seconds, he had to fear they would collapse as well taking him down to his lover in a manner that he'd like to avoid if possible. When the trembling ceased and nothing happened, he let out a sigh of relief.

/I need to be calm! I have to help him if he is still alive!/

Youji shook his head stubbornly. /He is alive if I have a say in it./

He managed to stand up slowly without further disturbing the underground and listened carefully, ears trained on any sounds that might indicate that his lover was conscious and tried to call him or catch his attention otherwise. Nothing found its way through the abyss, but Youji didn't let it discourage him. He tried to convince himself again and again that Ken was alive and needed his help. He didn't dare think about any other possibility. Shaking some tears out of his eyes, he turned his head looking for the bundle of supplies he had left somewhere in the grotto. He could make it out near the entrance and stumbled forward to get it. Earlier that day he had seen his lover placing two ropes in it and while the walls of the hole looked rough enough to be able to descend them without the aid of the ropes, he didn't know how far they went and if he'd manage to jump the remaining space to the bottom without injuring himself. Besides the ground was still unstable. If it started collapsing again, his chances at surviving seemed greater hanging on a rope than clinging to a wall.

Youji chuckled ruefully. The truth was that he didn't want to take any risks that might result in endangering Ken further. If his lover was hurt the ropes were the only possibility to get him out of this place. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have a clue about the secret gangway or he might have avoided this trouble at all. He looked out for a rock big and rough enough to be able to hold his weight and that of Ken once he got him out of this mess.

/If we survive this, I am never letting him out of my sight again! No more adventures like that!/

He sighed sadly, heart still in his throat. He just might as well kill the brunette, because keeping him from those adventures would do just that. It was like clipping the wings off a bird and keep it prisoner. He knew he couldn't do that.

/First I have to find him. No use thinking like that if I haven't even found him, yet./

His roaming eyes stopped on a rock near the entrance that seemed solid enough to hold him. He took one of the ropes and looped it around it, checking three times to make sure that the knot wouldn't come loose. He used the second rope to lengthen the first one. The result was about thirty feet long. The lanky blonde hoped it would be enough.

Determined Youji threw it down the abyss and sighed in relief as he could make out the faint sound of the rope hitting ground.

"Thank God for small mercies!"

-tbc-