Eternal Return

A/N. Thanks for the reviews! Yes I am really still alive even if it was quiet silent around me. There were different reasons for that, one of them writer's block mixed with time problems and my visiting other fandoms, namely "The Magnificent Seven". I can't promise that I will update quickly, but I´ll try!

**In the night I feel the cold of my loneliness

Cold that embraces my heart

Draining my strength to fight

Only to breathe this suffering.

Tell me why?

Why must I bear this cross so heavy for my soul?

Please hold me in your love

Never I´ll forget his love

Never I´ll forget the light that shone in his eyes.

Let me fly, let me be free

To stay with him beyond this life

Run across the sky

Let me see the sun again**

(Beto Vasquez_Infinity - Sadness in the Night)

Chapter 4a (2) - Dies Ater

Close to ten minutes later, Youji arrived safely at the bottom of the hole with merely a few scratches on his hands and face. He had proceeded carefully not wanting to send loose rocks into the cave below. He had not received any sign that Ken was conscious and able to hear him, but tried to convince himself that it was because the youth was simply knocked out and not worse.

/Yeah! Try to convince yourself Yotan! He must have fallen close to thirty feet. Shit!/

The blonde gulped and jumped the remaining way to the ground, bending his knees slightly to absorb the impact on hard pavement. His eyes widened in surprise.

/Damn! This is huge!/

One glance around told him that he had landed directly in a second chamber that laid beneath the first one and seemed three times as big. There was no visible exit, but near the far right corner, he was able to make out something that looked suspiciously like a portal engraved into the stonewalls. Symbols wormed their way through the stone like vines of ivy, but they were of a kind that he had never seen before. One second they glimmered in a pale silver light, the next they seemed blacker than night, seeming to suck every light into themselves. In front of the portal Youji recognised an altar that was covered with moss and little, white pebbles. A single red rose and blue gentian laid on top of it. Somehow this seemed very important to Youji, but he didn't know why. The walls glimmered with gemstones similar to the ones in the grotto above creating an eerie shimmer not truly light, but not dark either.

To his immense dismay the chamber revealed many things, but not what he craved, ...needed to see.

/Ken?! Where are you?/, Youji´s inner voice cried out.

There was no sign of his young lover, although his eyes traced along a red spot on the pavement that looked suspiciously like blood. He sank to his knees and touched it. He was right. Blood. He wanted to scream, lash out at something in pain and desperation, but knew it would prove to be futile. He needed to stay calm if he wanted to be any help for Ken.

The blood was evidence that the brunette's fall had ended in this chamber. It also indicated that he was hurt. So much was obvious, even if he didn't know how bad. But, what happened then?

"There is no other exit.", Youji reflected. "And I'm sure he would have called to me if he were able to."

Tears pricked his emerald eyes, but he held them back stubbornly. Somehow his gaze stopped on the portal, an inner voice telling him that he would find answers there. The symbols flared again in silver light as if beckoning him near. He blinked astonished.

The symbols grew brighter.

" Well, who am I to deny some fucking symbols on a stone portal.", he mumbled sarcastically and walked slowly towards the imaginary doorway.

The moment he reached it, the symbols faded back to black.

"Very funny!", he snarled. "Is this some sort of joke?", he asked to noone particular. "If yes, then I have to tell you that I am *not* amused! Now tell me where the hell Ken is and I will leave very peacefully like."

No answer, but Youji hadn't truly expected one. He send a fist crashing into the wall and winced when it hit rock.

"Damn! That hurt!", he stared angrily at the portal. "At least I know that it is solid. But how is it gonna help me finding Ken?"

He turned his gaze back into the chamber from the rope still hanging from the hole created by the cave in, to the embedded gems and finally to the altar. He sighed. The gentian reminded him of his young lover. Ken loved flowers, but he seemed to be especially fond of gentians. His slender fingers caressed the blue-violet petals.

/Soft. Just as soft as his skin./, he mused sombrely.

Looking at the rose he hesitated touching it. Something told him that he didn't have the right to do so although he didn't have a clue as to what made him think that way.

//Youji!//

Youji jumped as the soft whisper caressed his ear.

"Ken?"

He turned around expecting to see the young brunette, but he was still alone in the chamber. He blinked.

"I could have sworn..."

//Youji!//

Youji jerked his head around. Nothing. But then...

"Holy shit!"

Right in front of him the body of another person materialised. His green eyes widened as he recognised the translucent form of his lover.

"Ken?! God Ken! Is that you?"

He tried to reach out to the boy, but his fingers glided right through the shimmering body. He stumbled back as if burnt.

"What the...?"

The ghostly image smiled and pointed to the portal.

//Follow me!//

Again that soft voice that seemed to come from everywhere, but belonged to Ken who was standing in front of him. The blonde warrior nodded dumbly, still stunned at seeing the brunette even if he wasn't there in reality.

Youji noticed that the boy's clothing differed from what he had worn before. No longer wore he the leaf-coloured cloak, brown tunic and soft buckskin breeches, but rather fine woven clothes in blue and black colours that looked very much like silk and fitted him perfectly.

//Follow me!//

The voice held no impatience, but Youji felt it was important to comply. Maybe this vision was giving him the possibility to find Ken. They boy walked to the portal with the blonde slowly trailing behind.

One by one the youth's fingers traced along the symbols which flared to life at his touch. He seemed to follow a familiar pattern that only he knew. Youji tried to memorise them silently thanking his ability to remember things even with only seeing them once.

Ken finished caressing the symbols. Silvers lines connected the bright symbols and from one moment to another everything vanished. The symbols and rock disappeared leaving a clear view onto a beautiful meadow. Without further glancing back the boy stepped through the open portal which closed immediately behind him.

Youji blinked. Everything had happened so fast. He stared at the wall that once again consisted of rock. He traced the symbols with his eyes. Would it work with him as well? He touched the surface of the wall with badly trembling hands.

"God! Let it work! Please, let it work!", he pleaded silently and started using the same pattern he had seen Ken doing.

He almost sobbed out in relief when the portal opened again and he was able to step through. He couldn't see the vision of Ken, but he didn't really expect it. The only purpose of the image had been showing him the correct way through the gate. Now that its purpose was fulfilled, the boy had disappeared.

Youji took in his new surroundings in wonder. It seemed as if he had exited the cave system from where he had come from. Turning around he noticed the entrance just as he remembered, but without the hedgerow hiding it from curious wanderers.

Slowly he took in all the other differences. It was as if he had stepped back in time. Where there had been moss covered rock, there was now grass and flowers, birds singing in the distance. The sun hung low on the horizon adding to the scene of tranquillity.

Youji shook his head.

"This is getting weirder and weirder!"

A narrow path wound itself down the hill till it disappeared between a line of trees. He stiffened a little, feelings of being observed crashing down on him. He narrowed his eyes, but couldn't discern anything overly suspicious.

/I guess, I should follow that path.", he mused. " I ain´t going away from here till I find Ken anyway. Might as well start with now and hope to cover enough ground till the sun sets./

With that in mind he started the search for his lover.

tbc