Disclaimer: The title of this fiction was borrowed from the new Linkin Park song of the same title. I don't own these characters, ABC does. And the song "Easier To Run" is Linkin Park's, not mine but I loved the song so much that I had to write a fiction using it. The lyrics are in italics.
By: Jade Unicorn
E-Mail: tenryu@excite.com
Website:
Summary: Bianca tries to understand why Maggie pushes her away.
Rating: PG13
Note: Forgive me if there are any mistakes in this.
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Henry stood at Maggie's dorm room door. He felt that his heart at been ripped out from his chest as he held a piece of paper in his hands that had been waiting for him, taped to Maggie's door. Inside it, it read:
Dear Henry,
You know how much you mean to me. And I thought that I was in love with you. But I'm not. I can't force myself to have feelings for you. I'm sorry. I don't know how to explain it but my heart feels what it feels and I can't change that. I hope that you understand. And I'm truly sorry for leading you on.
He felt rage and sorrow fill him inside. Henry turned and stormed off down the hall to his own room.
******************
Maggie sat out by the lake with a million thoughts racing through her mind. She couldn't understand why she didn't have real feelings for Henry. Was there something wrong with her? Here was a perfectly nice boy that you would want to bring home to your family, assuming that your family wasn't as crazy as Maggie's, but she didn't want him.
Idly she laid her hand on the water and moved it to cause little ripples. She thought that she had finally found somebody that she could love and who could love her back. Henry treated her with love and respect but somehow that's not what she wanted. Not to say, that she wanted someone to treat her badly, just that she didn't want those things from Henry.
"Hey." A sweet, familiar voice came from behind her.
Turning, Maggie saw Bianca, her best friend. "Hey, what are you doing here?"
She smiled at the girl and said. "Sitting out here, thinking."
Bianca took a seat next to Maggie and looked out onto the lake. Everything on the outside was peaceful and calm, unlike on the inside of her, which was doing flips since seeing Maggie smile. No matter how many times she told herself no, Bianca couldn't deny the fact that she had feelings for Maggie.
"About what?" Bianca's voice was in a near whisper.
"I broke up with Henry."
"Really?" Her voice jumped tones and sounded in disbelief.
"You don't have to sound so happy you know." Maggie picked at a few strands of grass and threw them into the lake.
"I'm sorry, was I that obvious?" Maggie nodded. "It's just, I didn't like Henry because…"
"Because he was with me and you want to be with me."
Things were silent. Maggie sent an arrow straight into Bianca's heart with that statement. When the silence had lasted for a seconds more than Maggie would have liked, she hastily stood and said, "I have to go do…something."
"Why do you push me away so much Maggie?" Bianca called out as her friend walked away.
Looking over her shoulder, Maggie started to say "Because…" but she couldn't finish the sentence out loud.
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
******************
Bianca stared at the ceiling of her room and wondered what Maggie was doing. Yeah, so she'd admit it, she didn't like Henry only because he was dating Maggie. But could you blame her? Bianca had fallen for Maggie in ways that she couldn't for Frankie.
Erica told Bianca once that the only reason why she was attracted to Maggie was because she looked like Frankie. In the beginning that may have been true. Now she had separated the two girls as two separate people. Frankie was Frankie, the girl who was free and didn't have any inhibitions. Maggie was, well Maggie was sweet and cared about Bianca like no one else had. Sure Erica cared about her, but Maggie cared beyond that.
"Why doesn't she see that I'm the only one who will always be there?"
******************
Staring at the phone she tried to work up enough courage to call her. Maggie sighed and fell back onto the bed. Closing her eyes she imagined Bianca in all of her glory. She wished that she knew what she felt for the girl. At one time she thought that she had convinced herself that what she felt for Bianca was just a deep respect. But now it was clear, now she could no longer hide it.
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
Tim was always telling Maggie how much Bianca truly cared for her. He said he could tell just by the way Bianca said her name. "She's got it bad for you and you're so afraid to let somebody in that you can't even see her." He said once.
Sitting up, Maggie knew what she had to do.
******************
A knock came on the door. Bianca opened the door to see Maggie standing there with a shaky smile on her face.
"I thought that you had do something?" Bianca asked with a smile on her face. She was always happy when Maggie came around, even if it was just for a few minutes.
"I-I did and I came to tell you something."
"What's that?" Bianca stepped back so that Maggie could enter the room.
Shutting the door behind her, Maggie took a deep breath and began to explain.
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
"I think I've finally figured it all out. The reason why I couldn't be with Henry. The reason why I keep pushing you away." She sat down on the bed.
Sometimes I rememberThe darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never would be a past
"Bianca, I think that I am falling for you."
Shocked by this confession, Bianca stood still with her mouth hanging open.
"For so long, Bianca, I just to convince myself that my only connection with you was Frankie. I believed that I had no feelings for you, none like Frankie would have. Now I'm not so sure. Seeing you go out on dates and have all these girls flirt with you upsets me because I'm jealous. Just like you were jealous of Henry because he had me and you didn't."
Just washing it asideAll of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
"I was running from a true love just because I thought that it would be easier than actually letting someone love me."
"So what are you saying?" Bianca finally asked.
"That I want to be with you. That I want to see what will happen when I let my guards down and let you in."
"Maggie…" Her voice was shaky and tears rolled down her face.
The younger girl crossed the small room and wiped away the tears. Her lips captured Bianca's in a slow first kiss.
When the kiss ended, Bianca spoke softly, "I love you so much Maggie."
"I love you too." Maggie whispered.
It's easier to runReplacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
*****************
The End.
I know it was very short but that's how I wanted it to be. Quick and to the point. I'll write something more complex next time.
-Jade Unicorn