We've been gone way to long. I'm a major problem, I'm telling you. Thank
goodness for my partner in crime Carrie. Once again B-town leads to a
Steph/Johnny intensive chapter, but with enough of everyone else. Little
more is revealed, and hopefully next chapter we will be moving along, and
hopefully next chapter will be out faster.
To all who have replied, I don't think we say thank you enough. Other writers know how much reviews mean, and for those of you who aren't it means everything, it means someone cares. It makes us want to write.
Anyway, Enjoy!
Laura&Carrie
Ch 5
"Johnny, wake up." Stephanie said gently nudging her husband.
"Steph, its, I don't know what time it is, but its too early for you to be waking me up." He mumbled sleepily.
"Please come outside with me and play basketball and play basketball with me and my Dad."
"I don't like to play games with you. You're too competitive, and you always win."
"You can be on my team."
"And leave your poor Dad all alone, how fair is that?"
"We can wake the others up. They can't leave Indiana, and say they didn't play basketball."
"I'm sure the prospect of that happening is leaving them heartbroken crying into their pillows about how unjust the world is. I mean its practically an international event, you call yourself a Hoosier, and your friends are going to leave without playing a game on the holy ground of basketball that is Indiana."
"You're asking for trouble." She said as she climbed on top of him. She pinned his arms above his head and kissed him.
"Steph, were in the middle of the living room of your parents house. Anyone could walk in and see us."
"Johnny." She said kissing him again. "We're married, and my family is practically begging us for grandchildren. I think they know that I am highly attracted to you, and that I happen to enjoy kissing you." She ended that statement with a kiss. "Well, I like doing other things to you too, but we are in the middle of my parents living room." She said with a wicked grin.
Robin and Jason were coming down the stairs, when they saw Johnny and Steph. "Robin if they can make out in the middle of the living room where anyone can see them, what's the big deal about us making out behind closed doors?"
"Morning." Steph said cheerfully, she made no move to get off Johnny. "Robin you shouldn't feel embarrassed about making out or whatever in this house. You're a happily married woman, we all expect you to be highly attracted to Jason. Who wouldn't be."
"My ego is shattered."
"I'm married not blind."
"Steph leave them alone. Not everyone is as shameless as you are."
"There is nothing here to be embarrassed about."
"Jason and I are just going to head the kitchen, and then we'll go back upstairs and out of your way."
"No need. Johnny and I are getting up to go play basketball outside anyway. Well, as soon as my Dad drags his butt out of bed. Why don't you guys come out and play too." She said as if the idea just hit her. She climbed off Johnny. "I'm going to go wake my old man up, and see if Syd and Michael want to play. This is going to be so much fun." She said bounding up the stairs past a speechless Jason and Robin.
"I didn't agree either. Really, she does whatever the hell she wants. And she is wonderful at not taking no for an answer. Pray you end up on her team. She plays every game like its the National Championship game."
"Dad come on." She said knocking on the door. "And I'm in a good mood bring Mom out to play too. Hurry, we wanna get in a good game before you have to go to school, and before Mom's kids get here."
She moved onto Syd and Michael's room. The door was cracked and she gently pushed it open wider. She was about to say something when she noticed that Sydney was literally engulfed in Michael's embrace. She watched them with a smile on her face, and then turned to leave. "You're such a spy." She heard Sydney's raspy voice.
Steph turned back around. "Well, dear I am a spy, as are you. But that's not why I came up here. The rest of us are going outside to play a game of basketball. So I was coming to get you two. But I can see you're comfortable so don't worry about it, go back to bed, sleep, enjoy." She said with same wicked grin she had given Johnny earlier.
When Sydney heard Steph reach the bottom of the stairs, she nudged Michael awake. "Come on we have to get dressed and go play basketball."
"No." He mumbled and pulled Sydney closer to him. "Stay here."
"Vaughn." She said reverting back to calling him by his last name. "We have to go. Steph came up here, and she saw us, and right now she's probably downstairs gloating or something. If we don't go outside, she'll think..."
"Don't care what she'll think." He said still half asleep.
"Vaughn!" She practically yelled.
He sighed and opened his eyes. "I can't believe you seriously want to get out of this nice warm bed at 5:45 in the morning to go outside and play basketball. We're in freaking Bloomington, Indiana, in the middle of February its cold outside."
"This from the big bad ice hockey player." She said rolling her eyes.
A few minutes later they joined everyone else. "Johnny, its no fun when we're on the same team. I only said you could be on my team when it was going to be the three of us, now we have more people."
"Are we interrupting something?" Sydney asked amused.
"No. Johnny's being a big baby. To hear him whine you'd never believe he played college football in Michigan. 'Steph its cold outside,' " She mimicked Johnny. "He played football at Michigan, its not exactly tropical up there."
"Boys." Sydney said rolling her eyes. "Mr. Bigshot hockey player didn't want to come outside either."
"Lets get this show on the road. Johnny you go be on the team with my parents. Dad pick someone else for your team."
"Robin."
Robin moved towards Mark's team but faltered slightly. Within two seconds Jason had her in his arms and was stalking off towards the house.
"Jason I'm fine put me down," Robin protested the second she got her berings back and knew what her husband was intending to do.
"You're taking a nap," Jason told her firmly without looking down at her.
"I don't need a nap," she told him indignantly. She then chose to look up at him, and saw the way his jaw was clenched and she assumed if she could see his eyes there would be fear there. "I'm fine Jason really."
"Sorry about the game," Jason called to everyone else as he headed up the steps to the house. "You guys have fun."
"It's just the meds," Robin said frustrated as Jason went to pull open the door.
"Fine," Jason told her, wrenching the door open. "Give me the name of the doctor that prescribed them to you so I can find him and kill him."
Stephanie couldn't hold back a small giggle before turning back to everyone else. "Well I suppose that fixes that. Lets play." She sent one last glare her father's way. "We're going to win. I don't lose."
The game lasted until Mark had to get ready to go to school. It was decided to call the game a draw. They headed inside for breakfast laughing and joking around.
"I can't believe how fun that actually was," Sydney said as they headed back in.
"Isn't it great? My Dad and I played like that every morning from the time he married my Mom until the day I left for Stanford. And we still play every morning when I'm home." Steph said with a huge smile. "When Johnny and I got married I tried to make him get up and play every morning, but it didn't work real well. We play occasionally, but usually we take a run or something."
After breakfast Steph and Johnny were putting the living room back together when there was a knock on the door. "Steph honey, can you grab that, I am sure its just one of my clients, and be nice." Bev called from upstairs.
"No, I was thinking more along the lines of kicking their ass, before they can utter hello." She said to Johnny as she made her way to the door. "Hello." She said as she opened the door.
"Hi." The woman said. "I hate to just drop her off and run, but this is Jessica, and this is her first time here. I really want to stay and chat, but I gave Beverly all the details on Friday when I met with her, and I'm running so behind schedule." She said placing the baby in a very surprised Steph's arms. "Oh Jessica, Mommy is going to miss you so much. You would think I would be ok with this, I've had four months alone with her." She said to Steph. "Miss are you ok?" She asked when Steph didn't say anything. "Oh God this is the right house right? I mean Beverly Anderson does live here, doesn't she. I was so sure I had the right house."
"You've got the right house." Steph finally managed to choke out.
"Ok good. Then I've really got to go." She said kissing baby Jessica on the head, and walking back to her car.
Steph closed the door and headed back into the living room with Jessica cooing in her arms. "Mom, come here and get baby Jessica."
"Steph I'm in the middle of something can't you hold her for a few minutes."
"Johnny for the love of my mental health go up there get my Mother and bring her down here, I don't care how you get her down here, just get her down here."
Johnny couldn't take his eyes of the sight of his wife holding an infant. He stood perfectly still a look of shock, pain, and anger plastered on his face. "It's not fair." His mind screamed at him. "This is a sick joke. Let's see how much more torture Johnny and Stephanie can take. Man does she look beautiful with a baby. She would be such a good mother." He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his wife. She looked ready to break. He did the only thing he could think of; he walked over to her, wrapped his arms around her as best he could with a baby between them, and pressed his lips to her forehead.
"You guys look so perfect with a baby." Beverly said coming down the stairs. She was about to take the baby from Steph when there was another knock on the door. "The Jones triplets, come on in." For the next five minutes it was a steady stream of toddlers and preschoolers, until finally all the kids were accounted for.
"Mom, come in here and take her." Steph said trying to keep her voice void of the tears that we're threatening to fall.
"Steph, let me get these guys downstairs to the playroom first. Oh and I've got to get a bassinet set up. She's the first baby we've had in a few months. I'll be back up in fifteen minutes. You can manage. By the time I get up here, you and Johnny won't want to give her up."
"I cannot hold this baby for fifteen more minutes, and I cannot watch you hold her either."
"Hey, how many kids does your Mother watch." Vaughn asked coming down the stairs with Sydney, Jason, and Robin. "And who do we have here?" Vaughn asked peering down at the baby. "She's cute."
"You think she's cute Michael, here you hold her then. My Mom will be back upstairs in fifteen minutes to get her." She said depositing the baby safely into the arms of a startled Vaughn, and turning to flee up the stairs.
"Was it something I said?" Vaughn asked Johnny, who was staring worriedly up the stairs.
"She can't have kids can she?" Robin asked gently.
"No." Johnny whispered.
"And she hasn't told her family."
"No."
"Would it be ok, if I went upstairs and talked to her for a little bit?" Robin asked.
"Yeah sure, just come get me when you're done."
"Ok." Robin said with a sad smile as she headed up the stairs.
"She'll be ok, Robin understands probably better than you or I ever could. Come on." He said motioning for Johnny to follow him into the kitchen.
"Looks like its just me, you, and the little nameless wonder here." Michael said to Sydney.
Sydney leaned over him to get a better look at the baby. "She is cute." She said tickling the baby.
All Vaughn could concentrate on was the smell of Syd's shampoo, and the proximity of her body to his. "This could be your life Mike." He thought to himself. "You can have this."
"Lets go sit on the couch." Syd said taking Michael by the elbow and leading him over to the couch.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Do you want this?" He asked.
"This?" She asked confused. "She's a baby not an object."
Vaughn shook his head. "No, not do you want to hold her, you can if you want too. I meant someday do you want this, the big picture, the husband, the kids, the dog, the minivan."
"Someday." She said closing her eyes to get the mental picture. She saw Vaughn lying in the grass playing with Donovan and little girl with brown hair and green eyes. "Vaughn, how the hell did he get in my day dream?" She asked herself silently. "What about you? Do you want it?"
Vaughn didn't event think, but gave off a lazy smile as he said, "Only with you."
Sydneys eyes widened to the size of saucers. He didn't say that. He couldn't have. "What?"
'Oh, sweet Jesus, did I say that out loud.' His panicked mind asked in horror. Vaughn hit himself mentally. 'Nice job stupid. Scare the girl off by telling her you want to have the whole picture with her. There's the way to her heart.'
"Vaughn what did you say?" Syd asked after a long uncomfortable pause.
He looked up from the baby, who he had been using to distract himself. "I said I already have the dog."
Her eyes simply narrowed at him. "Liar."
"What I do already have the dog."
"You..." The sound of the babies cries cut her off. Sydney watched amazed as Vaughn went right to work calming the baby down. He spoke to her in a gentle hushed soothing voice. She smiled at the sight in front of her. "He's amazing, he's simply amazing." She thought. "I want it with you too, but I can't let it happen." She cried silently.
Meanwhile upstairs
Robin knocked on the door to Steph's old room. "Steph can I come in?"
"Yeah." Came the muffled reply.
She cautiously went into the room. The sight of the strong woman currled up in the window seat broke Robin's heart a bit, but it was a scene she knew all too well. "I'm not even going to ask you if you're ok, because I know your not."
"Johnny told you." Steph asked from her position on the window seat.
"Yeah. I asked him though, he didn't just volunteer the information," Robin said as she crossed the room and sat down next to Stephanie. "I understand what your going though."
"No, you don't," Steph said angrily, defiantly. "There is nothing that prevents you from conceiving a child. You haven't had a doctor tell you that medically the chances of you getting pregnant are so slim you shouldn't even hold out any hope." And she remembered that day all too well. And the words no hope. No hope at all.
Robin let out a sigh. "You're right I haven't. Not having children is something Jason and I decided, not because we don't want any children though, but because my HIV makes it a risk."
"You could still get pregnant though Robin," Steph said sadly, knowing that there would be a chance for the woman across from her. "Even with all the precautions you and Jason take you can still have a baby. It would be unplanned, and it would be scary, and risky, but it would be. It would take a literal miracle for Johnny and I to have a baby."
Robin slipped an arm around Stephanie, knowing that the desolation that was threatening to overwhelm her. "You don't believe in miracles?"
"I can't live my life waiting for something that probably will never happen." She stopped to wipe away some of her tears. "Johnny would be the best father," she said, gaining a wistful smile on her face as she let her mind imagine. "He loves kids so much, and I know that it hurts him more than he'll ever admit to not be able to be a father. I see him watch other families when we run in the park, or when we're at the grocery store. I see the look on his face while he watches them, first its sort of a little smile, and I know he's wondering what it would be like, then the smile goes away, and he closes his eyes and lets out a soft sigh, and I know that's when it hits him he'll never know what its like."
"Jason would be an incredible father too." And then she saw Michael again. Jason sitting with the little boy in his arms, talking about some far off place, motorcycles or even sex and making love. "He was an incredible father, and I took it away from him."
Stephanie lifted her "What? Why?"
"It wasn't his baby," Robin said, shaking her head to get rid of the old memories and pain. There was no point in reliving the past, especially when she had been right. "It was his brother's, he was going to raise Michael as his own. For awhile he did, and he was an awesome parent. Long story short I told AJ the truth, and Jason ended up losing Michael. It broke us up for awhile, I thought forever, but somehow we made it back to each other. I took away a baby he considered his own, and can't give him one that would really be his own."
"I compartmentalize everything, its what I'm trained to do," Steph explained, trying to make sense of it all herself. "Most of the time it works, and I can accept not being able to have a baby. When I'm here at home, and my Mother is yammering away twenty-four hours a day about grandchildren, its just hard. Today holding that baby, I felt physical pain. I couldn't do it, I thought about giving her to Johnny, but I couldn't watch him with her either. And he had to watch me hold her. As much as it hurt holding her it felt so right, and as much as I couldn't wait to give her to someone else, I wanted to hold her forever." Steph was crying harder now.
Robin went for it and wrapped her arms around the other woman and pulled her close. She stroked a hand over her hair. "I know. Believe me I know." She said thinking back to the times she lived with Michael and Jason.
Meanwhile downstairs in the kitchen
Johnny and Jason just stood in the kitchen watching each other in silence for a few minutes. Neither one knew exactly how to start the conversation they were about to have.
"You and Robin can't have children either?" Johnny hazarded a guess after a few moments. After the way Robin had guessed and chased after Steph, and Jason having pulled him to the side, it was the only thing he could come up with that would have spurned them to do anything fo the sort.
"For Robin and I its different," Jason said, as he absentmindedly hoisted himself up onto the counter. "We made the choice not to have kids, but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts like hell."
"God do I know that one. Especially seeing her with a baby like today."
Jason's mind sprung back through the years seeing Robin holding Michael once again. "Yeah."
"She was on a mission with a new partner," Johnny said, going back through the years to those days. He had felt so impotent. He knew Jason hadn't asked for their life story, but he felt the strongest urge to tell it. "Something went wrong and she was caught. All I knew was that I had to get to her. We weren't together, but that doesn't stop you from loving someone. I couldn't escape the fact that I couldn't lose her without telling her the truth. As you can see she's alright. Sort of," he qualified, seeing all to clearly the look that had been in her eyes as she held the baby. "But she was abused to the point that there was major scaring in her abdomen. The doctor told us it would take a miracle for her to ever conceive a child."
Jason only nodded. He could remember Robin telling him everything, the many long discussions they had had over the years about HIV and the way it affected her life. "It's hard, all of it, knowing you've got to tell everyone in your life what you feel so they know what it is before there's no chance, because that's your life. Then the thought that you're not going to have a family of your own. And you don't want to care, because there is nothing else they can do about it, or you, and the last think you want is for her to feel guilty."
"But you can't stop it," Johnny continued for him, knowing that this man got it like no one else ever had. "And it makes you feel like such an ass because it makes her feel defective and she isn't. It wasn't enough to turn me away from her, nothing could ever do that. Living without her is not an option, but some days she thinks Id be better off with someone who could give me a family."
Jason could only nod. "That's about it." He didn't want to admit to much about himself to a man he hardly knew, redargeless if they were supposed to be on the same sign. He could tell this man needed to talk, but he wasn't going to let it pull too much out of him.
Johnny resisited the urge to kick the refrigerator. "And the thing that pisses me off the most, is there's no way to fix it. I would give anything to make it all alright, but I can't do that. In a way it makes me feel like I've failed her in a way."
Jason took a moment to rub his hands over his face. Wanting to be able to fix Robins world was the one thing that he had never been able to do. "God do I know that feeling."
"What feeling?" a soft voice echoed through the room.
Jason and Johnny looked up and spotted Robin standing in the doorway. "Hey baby," Jason said, smiling, as he slid over the counter and took his wife in his arms.
Robin took a moment to squeeze Jason and breathe him in, the mix of scents she knew too well. It was nice to know when all else failed Jason was around to hold onto. She waited another beat before pulling back and looking at Johnny. "I think she needs you right now."
Johnny simply nodded, and gave Robin a small smile. "Thanks."
"No problem," Robin told him. Smiling back as Johnny past them on his way to the stairs.
Robin turned back to her husband, and buried her head in his chest. He just held her close, knowing exactly what was running through her head. They didn't need too many words for this one, they had already discussed it in full.
"It's already starting to be a long day," Robin said as she finally pulled back and looked up at Jason.
There it was, the hint of sadness in those big brown eyes. Jason didn't know what else to do but pull her back to him and simply say, "I know." It wasn't shaping up to be the best of days. Jason couldn't help but wonder if it took little weaknesses to tear people down this early what would it be like to be on the missions.
"What feeling?" Robin asked after a moment, pulling back again. She lifted her arms to encircle his neck this time.
Jason simply gave her a quizzical look, not understanding what she was asking. "Hmm?"
"You said you knew that feeling," Robin said pressing on, although she knew that this was probably the last thing her husband was interested in discussing. "What feeling?"
Jason let out a sigh and forced himself to keep his hands around Robin instead of rubbing them over his face again. He didn't want to answer, but he knew that Robin would press him until he did so. "Wanting to fix things for someone you love and not being able to do it."
Robin felt a quick pang in her heart for her husband. "Jason," she said softly, taking a hand and cupping his face softly. He had always liked being able to fix things for her. Making her smile, she remembered fondly, had always been one of his favorite activities since their first meeting on the bridge.
Jason let go of her and moved out of her grasp to pace a bit. "It's not something I can stop or change." He stopped and looked at her with desperate eyes. "I want you happy."
"I am happy," she told him plainly, crossing the room to where he stood. Why couldn't he understand that?
Jason gripped her elbows with his hands. "I want you to live."
Robin let out a sigh. She knew what he meant but her definition of living was slightly different. "I am living, every day," she told him, cupping his face with her hands once again and forcing him to look her in the eyes. "You gave me that. Please don't forget that my being able to live every day as I do was your gift to me."
"No. Not like that. This is me being selfish," he told her, the harshness in his voice pointed at himself. Why was it the more that he thought about it, the more he realized that he wanted all of this for himself? "Never wanting you to be gone, never wanting to have to feel your pain cause it hurts me too. And you say I gave that to you Robin, how could I when I didn't know what living was? Or anything else. All I knew was you."
Robin looked at him with understanding but no pity. She simply nodded at him. "That's about it. What do you think me asking Sonny to fire you was?" She waited a moment for him to remember and realize that she would always understand before taking his hand and puling him towards the living room. "Now lets go make sure that Sydney and Michael aren't left out there alone the entire time. I mean we are family," she reminded him, turning to give him a grin over her shoulder.
Jason instantly closed the gap and wrapped both of his arms tightly around her waist. "You think you're cute," he told her as he kissed her on the cheek.
"Oh I know it."
The walk up the stairs to Steph's old bedroom had seemed like one of the longest of his life. It was so hard to watch his strong and stubborn wife falter like this. She wasn't a fan of the fact that it could happen or would happen, and when it did it was never ever a good sign.
He took a deep breath and released it, before knocking on the door as he opened it. "Steph? Baby?" he asked as he came into the room.
Stephanie sniffled for a moment and ran her hand under her eyes to get rid of some of the tears. "Yeah?" she said looking up at him.
Johnny said nothing but crossed the room and taking her in his arms. He felt as more tears slipped out of her eyes and fell on his shirt. "God I'm so sorry," he murmured as he held her close, not knowing what to do.
It took a moment for her husband's words to settle in Steph's head. Once they did she pulled back to look at him, stopping her tears as a bit of the anger at the injustice tried to get out, but she simply sounded weary. "For what? My condition is not your fault. My freaking out was not your fault. I know how to compartmentalize, and I do it so well," she said, disappointed in herself. "I haven't been this affected since."
"Since you were told," Johnny finished for her when she trailed off. "And the second and third and millionth opinion confirmed it. And then you shut it down, and you do it well, but it's too important to you."
"I wanted that," she said, pointing down stairs, referring to holding baby Jessica and what it had symbolized. "The whole shebang. I mean growing up here it's kind of hard not to want that you know? And then I find the man of my dreams," she said brushing her fingers over his face, "and it's nearly all at my fingertips except this one thing. And it hurts you know?" she asked "So close and yet so far away."
"Yeah I do. I'm sorry I didn't react. It was just you standing there with that perfect baby in your arms, and for a moment, it was like it could be real. But it wasn't, and it felt like a part of me was dying."
"You deserve so much better."
"Then what? You? Baby there is no one better."
"Don't do that."
"There's that smile. Steph I don't really know what to do to make you feel better."
"You're doing it right now. Holding me is the best thing you can do for me. It makes me feel safe and loved. That's all I need."
"Good. I can do that."
"Oh she really is the cutest thing." Robin said getting a good look at the baby who had managed to take four strong willed agents and make them all go emotional in a matter of seconds.
"You want to hold her."
"Yes. They're all so perfect at this age. I got very lucky with enough family to spoil rotten at young ages."
"Yeah?"
"Mmhmm. Two younger cousins. A few nieces and nephews. And I did a lot of work with kids before I got involved in this business."
"It was me, my nanny and my dad when he had some time. I'm not that good with children at all."
"If this one's mother doesn't come for her I might have to ask about keeping her."
"They all inspire that don't they? Come here angel. Where did Stephanie and Johnny go?" Beverly asked coming into the room.
"They disappeared upstairs to talk." Robin said knowing her friends needed to be alone.
"One can only hope they're discussing grandchildren. I can't wait to have grandchildren to spoil. I want to be young enough to enjoy them, and I can see Mark outside with them in the morning playing ball, just like he does with Steph." Bev said smiling at the mental picture.
The four agents shared an uneasy glance. "Who knows what they're talking about? Steph said something about making Johnny watch hours and hours of girls basketball or something. He's probably trying to get out of it." Vaughn said trying to steer the conversation away from Johnny and Steph having children.
"My Steph was a great basketball player." Bev said moving to the entertainment cabinet. "We have all of her high school games on tape. Not so many of her college games, she went to school on the west coast, and we didn't get out to a lot of her games. And that was back in the day, before women's basketball exploded, very rarely were her games on TV. But we've got a few." She scanned the collection of videos. "This one is my favorite." She said pulling out a tape.
"Look what you did." Syd whispered loudly enough for Michael, Robin and Jason to hear.
Robin and Jason sent him a pained look. "Anything is better then listening to her go on and on about the grandchildren we know she is never going to have. So we're just going to suck it up and watch a good game of basketball, and we know its good or she wouldn't be showing it." He said in a stern whisper.
Steph and Johnny came down the stairs to see her Mom fiddling with the VCR. "Mom what are you doing?"
"Michael mentioned that you were going to show them one of your games. So I'm putting one in."
"Which one are you putting in?"
"My favorite."
"Narrow it down a little for me Mom, every game I ever played was your favorite.
"West Regional final, The Forum, senior year. Against Vanderbelt."
Steph smiled. "That was a good game." She pushed Johnny down onto the Lazy boy and climbed onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, and helped her get comfortable. "I loved college." She said wistfully, thinking back to her days in Palo Alto.
"I've got to get back to the kids. I left them with my assistant." She pushed play and disappeared back downstairs.
After a few seconds of static, a shot of the audience showed up on screen and the announcers voice started. "Welcome to the forum, tonight's regional final pits Stanford against Vanderbelt."
"What does Stanford have to do win tonight?"
"Stanford will go as far as Stephanie Anderson can take them." The camera panned to a focused looking Steph sitting on the bench receiving instructions from head coach Tara VanDerveer. "She's the heart and soul of this team. She leads the nation in three categories; three point shooting percentage, free throw percentage, and steals per game. She's a great all around player, but her most important attribute is the fact that she is an incredible leader. The other players believe in her and they feed off of her. It should be a great game, Jim."
"I paid them well for that glowing endorsement."
"This is so boring." Jason whispered to Robin after the game had been going on for a few minutes.
"Jason."
"You can't find this entertaining."
"I like watching Steph play. She was good. And it's cool to hear what the announcers thought of her. Just watch for a little bit longer and then you can make an excuse to do something else."
"Fine."
"No, Steph don't make that pass. No. What was I thinking making that pass? Ugh, and then I committed the foul on the lay-up." She buried her face in her hands. "I should be benched for that, and not put back in the game until I learn my lesson. That was horrible."
"It wasn't that bad. And you made up for it on the next play."
The game continued, and with forty-five seconds, remaining Stanford was down four. Vandy was in bounding the ball underneath Stanford's basket. "Jones is having trouble in bounding the ball. She lofts it up. A steal by Anderson, she dishes the ball off to Marshall for the easy and most importantly quick two. Anderson went up like a wide receiver in football for that pass. Vandy with the ball, twenty-five seconds left on the clock. Sullivan takes the shot for Vandy, she misses, rebound Marshall who gives the ball off to Anderson. Anderson reaches the frontcourt and calls timeout. Fifteen seconds left on the game clock."
Steph fast-forwarded through the timeout. "I miss basketball."
She pushed play and the game came back on. "Keep in mind Stanford doesn't need a three pointer here. Lets see what they do. Marshall in bounds the ball to Kramer, Kramer dribbles top of the key. Ball goes to Anderson coming off the screen set by Marshall. Anderson shoots, she scores. Three- pointer by Anderson found nothing but the bottom of the net. A great screen by Marshall to get Anderson free. There is one second left on the clock, Vanderbelt has time for a catch and shoot in this situation. Jones baseball tosses it down into the frontcourt; the pass is tipped and caught by Anderson. Game over, and what an incredible game it was."
She clicked off the tape. "That was one of my finer moments. I love basketball Johnny."
"I know you do babe. I know we're moving back here someday."
"You guys are too much." Syd said with a chuckle. All the while admiring the relationship the couple shared. They were so in tune with each other. She wanted what they had. She looked at Michael; she wanted it with him.
"Robin."
"I know, I know. Thank you for being good and watching the whole thing. I'll make it up to you later."
"You promise."
"I promise."
To all who have replied, I don't think we say thank you enough. Other writers know how much reviews mean, and for those of you who aren't it means everything, it means someone cares. It makes us want to write.
Anyway, Enjoy!
Laura&Carrie
Ch 5
"Johnny, wake up." Stephanie said gently nudging her husband.
"Steph, its, I don't know what time it is, but its too early for you to be waking me up." He mumbled sleepily.
"Please come outside with me and play basketball and play basketball with me and my Dad."
"I don't like to play games with you. You're too competitive, and you always win."
"You can be on my team."
"And leave your poor Dad all alone, how fair is that?"
"We can wake the others up. They can't leave Indiana, and say they didn't play basketball."
"I'm sure the prospect of that happening is leaving them heartbroken crying into their pillows about how unjust the world is. I mean its practically an international event, you call yourself a Hoosier, and your friends are going to leave without playing a game on the holy ground of basketball that is Indiana."
"You're asking for trouble." She said as she climbed on top of him. She pinned his arms above his head and kissed him.
"Steph, were in the middle of the living room of your parents house. Anyone could walk in and see us."
"Johnny." She said kissing him again. "We're married, and my family is practically begging us for grandchildren. I think they know that I am highly attracted to you, and that I happen to enjoy kissing you." She ended that statement with a kiss. "Well, I like doing other things to you too, but we are in the middle of my parents living room." She said with a wicked grin.
Robin and Jason were coming down the stairs, when they saw Johnny and Steph. "Robin if they can make out in the middle of the living room where anyone can see them, what's the big deal about us making out behind closed doors?"
"Morning." Steph said cheerfully, she made no move to get off Johnny. "Robin you shouldn't feel embarrassed about making out or whatever in this house. You're a happily married woman, we all expect you to be highly attracted to Jason. Who wouldn't be."
"My ego is shattered."
"I'm married not blind."
"Steph leave them alone. Not everyone is as shameless as you are."
"There is nothing here to be embarrassed about."
"Jason and I are just going to head the kitchen, and then we'll go back upstairs and out of your way."
"No need. Johnny and I are getting up to go play basketball outside anyway. Well, as soon as my Dad drags his butt out of bed. Why don't you guys come out and play too." She said as if the idea just hit her. She climbed off Johnny. "I'm going to go wake my old man up, and see if Syd and Michael want to play. This is going to be so much fun." She said bounding up the stairs past a speechless Jason and Robin.
"I didn't agree either. Really, she does whatever the hell she wants. And she is wonderful at not taking no for an answer. Pray you end up on her team. She plays every game like its the National Championship game."
"Dad come on." She said knocking on the door. "And I'm in a good mood bring Mom out to play too. Hurry, we wanna get in a good game before you have to go to school, and before Mom's kids get here."
She moved onto Syd and Michael's room. The door was cracked and she gently pushed it open wider. She was about to say something when she noticed that Sydney was literally engulfed in Michael's embrace. She watched them with a smile on her face, and then turned to leave. "You're such a spy." She heard Sydney's raspy voice.
Steph turned back around. "Well, dear I am a spy, as are you. But that's not why I came up here. The rest of us are going outside to play a game of basketball. So I was coming to get you two. But I can see you're comfortable so don't worry about it, go back to bed, sleep, enjoy." She said with same wicked grin she had given Johnny earlier.
When Sydney heard Steph reach the bottom of the stairs, she nudged Michael awake. "Come on we have to get dressed and go play basketball."
"No." He mumbled and pulled Sydney closer to him. "Stay here."
"Vaughn." She said reverting back to calling him by his last name. "We have to go. Steph came up here, and she saw us, and right now she's probably downstairs gloating or something. If we don't go outside, she'll think..."
"Don't care what she'll think." He said still half asleep.
"Vaughn!" She practically yelled.
He sighed and opened his eyes. "I can't believe you seriously want to get out of this nice warm bed at 5:45 in the morning to go outside and play basketball. We're in freaking Bloomington, Indiana, in the middle of February its cold outside."
"This from the big bad ice hockey player." She said rolling her eyes.
A few minutes later they joined everyone else. "Johnny, its no fun when we're on the same team. I only said you could be on my team when it was going to be the three of us, now we have more people."
"Are we interrupting something?" Sydney asked amused.
"No. Johnny's being a big baby. To hear him whine you'd never believe he played college football in Michigan. 'Steph its cold outside,' " She mimicked Johnny. "He played football at Michigan, its not exactly tropical up there."
"Boys." Sydney said rolling her eyes. "Mr. Bigshot hockey player didn't want to come outside either."
"Lets get this show on the road. Johnny you go be on the team with my parents. Dad pick someone else for your team."
"Robin."
Robin moved towards Mark's team but faltered slightly. Within two seconds Jason had her in his arms and was stalking off towards the house.
"Jason I'm fine put me down," Robin protested the second she got her berings back and knew what her husband was intending to do.
"You're taking a nap," Jason told her firmly without looking down at her.
"I don't need a nap," she told him indignantly. She then chose to look up at him, and saw the way his jaw was clenched and she assumed if she could see his eyes there would be fear there. "I'm fine Jason really."
"Sorry about the game," Jason called to everyone else as he headed up the steps to the house. "You guys have fun."
"It's just the meds," Robin said frustrated as Jason went to pull open the door.
"Fine," Jason told her, wrenching the door open. "Give me the name of the doctor that prescribed them to you so I can find him and kill him."
Stephanie couldn't hold back a small giggle before turning back to everyone else. "Well I suppose that fixes that. Lets play." She sent one last glare her father's way. "We're going to win. I don't lose."
The game lasted until Mark had to get ready to go to school. It was decided to call the game a draw. They headed inside for breakfast laughing and joking around.
"I can't believe how fun that actually was," Sydney said as they headed back in.
"Isn't it great? My Dad and I played like that every morning from the time he married my Mom until the day I left for Stanford. And we still play every morning when I'm home." Steph said with a huge smile. "When Johnny and I got married I tried to make him get up and play every morning, but it didn't work real well. We play occasionally, but usually we take a run or something."
After breakfast Steph and Johnny were putting the living room back together when there was a knock on the door. "Steph honey, can you grab that, I am sure its just one of my clients, and be nice." Bev called from upstairs.
"No, I was thinking more along the lines of kicking their ass, before they can utter hello." She said to Johnny as she made her way to the door. "Hello." She said as she opened the door.
"Hi." The woman said. "I hate to just drop her off and run, but this is Jessica, and this is her first time here. I really want to stay and chat, but I gave Beverly all the details on Friday when I met with her, and I'm running so behind schedule." She said placing the baby in a very surprised Steph's arms. "Oh Jessica, Mommy is going to miss you so much. You would think I would be ok with this, I've had four months alone with her." She said to Steph. "Miss are you ok?" She asked when Steph didn't say anything. "Oh God this is the right house right? I mean Beverly Anderson does live here, doesn't she. I was so sure I had the right house."
"You've got the right house." Steph finally managed to choke out.
"Ok good. Then I've really got to go." She said kissing baby Jessica on the head, and walking back to her car.
Steph closed the door and headed back into the living room with Jessica cooing in her arms. "Mom, come here and get baby Jessica."
"Steph I'm in the middle of something can't you hold her for a few minutes."
"Johnny for the love of my mental health go up there get my Mother and bring her down here, I don't care how you get her down here, just get her down here."
Johnny couldn't take his eyes of the sight of his wife holding an infant. He stood perfectly still a look of shock, pain, and anger plastered on his face. "It's not fair." His mind screamed at him. "This is a sick joke. Let's see how much more torture Johnny and Stephanie can take. Man does she look beautiful with a baby. She would be such a good mother." He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his wife. She looked ready to break. He did the only thing he could think of; he walked over to her, wrapped his arms around her as best he could with a baby between them, and pressed his lips to her forehead.
"You guys look so perfect with a baby." Beverly said coming down the stairs. She was about to take the baby from Steph when there was another knock on the door. "The Jones triplets, come on in." For the next five minutes it was a steady stream of toddlers and preschoolers, until finally all the kids were accounted for.
"Mom, come in here and take her." Steph said trying to keep her voice void of the tears that we're threatening to fall.
"Steph, let me get these guys downstairs to the playroom first. Oh and I've got to get a bassinet set up. She's the first baby we've had in a few months. I'll be back up in fifteen minutes. You can manage. By the time I get up here, you and Johnny won't want to give her up."
"I cannot hold this baby for fifteen more minutes, and I cannot watch you hold her either."
"Hey, how many kids does your Mother watch." Vaughn asked coming down the stairs with Sydney, Jason, and Robin. "And who do we have here?" Vaughn asked peering down at the baby. "She's cute."
"You think she's cute Michael, here you hold her then. My Mom will be back upstairs in fifteen minutes to get her." She said depositing the baby safely into the arms of a startled Vaughn, and turning to flee up the stairs.
"Was it something I said?" Vaughn asked Johnny, who was staring worriedly up the stairs.
"She can't have kids can she?" Robin asked gently.
"No." Johnny whispered.
"And she hasn't told her family."
"No."
"Would it be ok, if I went upstairs and talked to her for a little bit?" Robin asked.
"Yeah sure, just come get me when you're done."
"Ok." Robin said with a sad smile as she headed up the stairs.
"She'll be ok, Robin understands probably better than you or I ever could. Come on." He said motioning for Johnny to follow him into the kitchen.
"Looks like its just me, you, and the little nameless wonder here." Michael said to Sydney.
Sydney leaned over him to get a better look at the baby. "She is cute." She said tickling the baby.
All Vaughn could concentrate on was the smell of Syd's shampoo, and the proximity of her body to his. "This could be your life Mike." He thought to himself. "You can have this."
"Lets go sit on the couch." Syd said taking Michael by the elbow and leading him over to the couch.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Do you want this?" He asked.
"This?" She asked confused. "She's a baby not an object."
Vaughn shook his head. "No, not do you want to hold her, you can if you want too. I meant someday do you want this, the big picture, the husband, the kids, the dog, the minivan."
"Someday." She said closing her eyes to get the mental picture. She saw Vaughn lying in the grass playing with Donovan and little girl with brown hair and green eyes. "Vaughn, how the hell did he get in my day dream?" She asked herself silently. "What about you? Do you want it?"
Vaughn didn't event think, but gave off a lazy smile as he said, "Only with you."
Sydneys eyes widened to the size of saucers. He didn't say that. He couldn't have. "What?"
'Oh, sweet Jesus, did I say that out loud.' His panicked mind asked in horror. Vaughn hit himself mentally. 'Nice job stupid. Scare the girl off by telling her you want to have the whole picture with her. There's the way to her heart.'
"Vaughn what did you say?" Syd asked after a long uncomfortable pause.
He looked up from the baby, who he had been using to distract himself. "I said I already have the dog."
Her eyes simply narrowed at him. "Liar."
"What I do already have the dog."
"You..." The sound of the babies cries cut her off. Sydney watched amazed as Vaughn went right to work calming the baby down. He spoke to her in a gentle hushed soothing voice. She smiled at the sight in front of her. "He's amazing, he's simply amazing." She thought. "I want it with you too, but I can't let it happen." She cried silently.
Meanwhile upstairs
Robin knocked on the door to Steph's old room. "Steph can I come in?"
"Yeah." Came the muffled reply.
She cautiously went into the room. The sight of the strong woman currled up in the window seat broke Robin's heart a bit, but it was a scene she knew all too well. "I'm not even going to ask you if you're ok, because I know your not."
"Johnny told you." Steph asked from her position on the window seat.
"Yeah. I asked him though, he didn't just volunteer the information," Robin said as she crossed the room and sat down next to Stephanie. "I understand what your going though."
"No, you don't," Steph said angrily, defiantly. "There is nothing that prevents you from conceiving a child. You haven't had a doctor tell you that medically the chances of you getting pregnant are so slim you shouldn't even hold out any hope." And she remembered that day all too well. And the words no hope. No hope at all.
Robin let out a sigh. "You're right I haven't. Not having children is something Jason and I decided, not because we don't want any children though, but because my HIV makes it a risk."
"You could still get pregnant though Robin," Steph said sadly, knowing that there would be a chance for the woman across from her. "Even with all the precautions you and Jason take you can still have a baby. It would be unplanned, and it would be scary, and risky, but it would be. It would take a literal miracle for Johnny and I to have a baby."
Robin slipped an arm around Stephanie, knowing that the desolation that was threatening to overwhelm her. "You don't believe in miracles?"
"I can't live my life waiting for something that probably will never happen." She stopped to wipe away some of her tears. "Johnny would be the best father," she said, gaining a wistful smile on her face as she let her mind imagine. "He loves kids so much, and I know that it hurts him more than he'll ever admit to not be able to be a father. I see him watch other families when we run in the park, or when we're at the grocery store. I see the look on his face while he watches them, first its sort of a little smile, and I know he's wondering what it would be like, then the smile goes away, and he closes his eyes and lets out a soft sigh, and I know that's when it hits him he'll never know what its like."
"Jason would be an incredible father too." And then she saw Michael again. Jason sitting with the little boy in his arms, talking about some far off place, motorcycles or even sex and making love. "He was an incredible father, and I took it away from him."
Stephanie lifted her "What? Why?"
"It wasn't his baby," Robin said, shaking her head to get rid of the old memories and pain. There was no point in reliving the past, especially when she had been right. "It was his brother's, he was going to raise Michael as his own. For awhile he did, and he was an awesome parent. Long story short I told AJ the truth, and Jason ended up losing Michael. It broke us up for awhile, I thought forever, but somehow we made it back to each other. I took away a baby he considered his own, and can't give him one that would really be his own."
"I compartmentalize everything, its what I'm trained to do," Steph explained, trying to make sense of it all herself. "Most of the time it works, and I can accept not being able to have a baby. When I'm here at home, and my Mother is yammering away twenty-four hours a day about grandchildren, its just hard. Today holding that baby, I felt physical pain. I couldn't do it, I thought about giving her to Johnny, but I couldn't watch him with her either. And he had to watch me hold her. As much as it hurt holding her it felt so right, and as much as I couldn't wait to give her to someone else, I wanted to hold her forever." Steph was crying harder now.
Robin went for it and wrapped her arms around the other woman and pulled her close. She stroked a hand over her hair. "I know. Believe me I know." She said thinking back to the times she lived with Michael and Jason.
Meanwhile downstairs in the kitchen
Johnny and Jason just stood in the kitchen watching each other in silence for a few minutes. Neither one knew exactly how to start the conversation they were about to have.
"You and Robin can't have children either?" Johnny hazarded a guess after a few moments. After the way Robin had guessed and chased after Steph, and Jason having pulled him to the side, it was the only thing he could come up with that would have spurned them to do anything fo the sort.
"For Robin and I its different," Jason said, as he absentmindedly hoisted himself up onto the counter. "We made the choice not to have kids, but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts like hell."
"God do I know that one. Especially seeing her with a baby like today."
Jason's mind sprung back through the years seeing Robin holding Michael once again. "Yeah."
"She was on a mission with a new partner," Johnny said, going back through the years to those days. He had felt so impotent. He knew Jason hadn't asked for their life story, but he felt the strongest urge to tell it. "Something went wrong and she was caught. All I knew was that I had to get to her. We weren't together, but that doesn't stop you from loving someone. I couldn't escape the fact that I couldn't lose her without telling her the truth. As you can see she's alright. Sort of," he qualified, seeing all to clearly the look that had been in her eyes as she held the baby. "But she was abused to the point that there was major scaring in her abdomen. The doctor told us it would take a miracle for her to ever conceive a child."
Jason only nodded. He could remember Robin telling him everything, the many long discussions they had had over the years about HIV and the way it affected her life. "It's hard, all of it, knowing you've got to tell everyone in your life what you feel so they know what it is before there's no chance, because that's your life. Then the thought that you're not going to have a family of your own. And you don't want to care, because there is nothing else they can do about it, or you, and the last think you want is for her to feel guilty."
"But you can't stop it," Johnny continued for him, knowing that this man got it like no one else ever had. "And it makes you feel like such an ass because it makes her feel defective and she isn't. It wasn't enough to turn me away from her, nothing could ever do that. Living without her is not an option, but some days she thinks Id be better off with someone who could give me a family."
Jason could only nod. "That's about it." He didn't want to admit to much about himself to a man he hardly knew, redargeless if they were supposed to be on the same sign. He could tell this man needed to talk, but he wasn't going to let it pull too much out of him.
Johnny resisited the urge to kick the refrigerator. "And the thing that pisses me off the most, is there's no way to fix it. I would give anything to make it all alright, but I can't do that. In a way it makes me feel like I've failed her in a way."
Jason took a moment to rub his hands over his face. Wanting to be able to fix Robins world was the one thing that he had never been able to do. "God do I know that feeling."
"What feeling?" a soft voice echoed through the room.
Jason and Johnny looked up and spotted Robin standing in the doorway. "Hey baby," Jason said, smiling, as he slid over the counter and took his wife in his arms.
Robin took a moment to squeeze Jason and breathe him in, the mix of scents she knew too well. It was nice to know when all else failed Jason was around to hold onto. She waited another beat before pulling back and looking at Johnny. "I think she needs you right now."
Johnny simply nodded, and gave Robin a small smile. "Thanks."
"No problem," Robin told him. Smiling back as Johnny past them on his way to the stairs.
Robin turned back to her husband, and buried her head in his chest. He just held her close, knowing exactly what was running through her head. They didn't need too many words for this one, they had already discussed it in full.
"It's already starting to be a long day," Robin said as she finally pulled back and looked up at Jason.
There it was, the hint of sadness in those big brown eyes. Jason didn't know what else to do but pull her back to him and simply say, "I know." It wasn't shaping up to be the best of days. Jason couldn't help but wonder if it took little weaknesses to tear people down this early what would it be like to be on the missions.
"What feeling?" Robin asked after a moment, pulling back again. She lifted her arms to encircle his neck this time.
Jason simply gave her a quizzical look, not understanding what she was asking. "Hmm?"
"You said you knew that feeling," Robin said pressing on, although she knew that this was probably the last thing her husband was interested in discussing. "What feeling?"
Jason let out a sigh and forced himself to keep his hands around Robin instead of rubbing them over his face again. He didn't want to answer, but he knew that Robin would press him until he did so. "Wanting to fix things for someone you love and not being able to do it."
Robin felt a quick pang in her heart for her husband. "Jason," she said softly, taking a hand and cupping his face softly. He had always liked being able to fix things for her. Making her smile, she remembered fondly, had always been one of his favorite activities since their first meeting on the bridge.
Jason let go of her and moved out of her grasp to pace a bit. "It's not something I can stop or change." He stopped and looked at her with desperate eyes. "I want you happy."
"I am happy," she told him plainly, crossing the room to where he stood. Why couldn't he understand that?
Jason gripped her elbows with his hands. "I want you to live."
Robin let out a sigh. She knew what he meant but her definition of living was slightly different. "I am living, every day," she told him, cupping his face with her hands once again and forcing him to look her in the eyes. "You gave me that. Please don't forget that my being able to live every day as I do was your gift to me."
"No. Not like that. This is me being selfish," he told her, the harshness in his voice pointed at himself. Why was it the more that he thought about it, the more he realized that he wanted all of this for himself? "Never wanting you to be gone, never wanting to have to feel your pain cause it hurts me too. And you say I gave that to you Robin, how could I when I didn't know what living was? Or anything else. All I knew was you."
Robin looked at him with understanding but no pity. She simply nodded at him. "That's about it. What do you think me asking Sonny to fire you was?" She waited a moment for him to remember and realize that she would always understand before taking his hand and puling him towards the living room. "Now lets go make sure that Sydney and Michael aren't left out there alone the entire time. I mean we are family," she reminded him, turning to give him a grin over her shoulder.
Jason instantly closed the gap and wrapped both of his arms tightly around her waist. "You think you're cute," he told her as he kissed her on the cheek.
"Oh I know it."
The walk up the stairs to Steph's old bedroom had seemed like one of the longest of his life. It was so hard to watch his strong and stubborn wife falter like this. She wasn't a fan of the fact that it could happen or would happen, and when it did it was never ever a good sign.
He took a deep breath and released it, before knocking on the door as he opened it. "Steph? Baby?" he asked as he came into the room.
Stephanie sniffled for a moment and ran her hand under her eyes to get rid of some of the tears. "Yeah?" she said looking up at him.
Johnny said nothing but crossed the room and taking her in his arms. He felt as more tears slipped out of her eyes and fell on his shirt. "God I'm so sorry," he murmured as he held her close, not knowing what to do.
It took a moment for her husband's words to settle in Steph's head. Once they did she pulled back to look at him, stopping her tears as a bit of the anger at the injustice tried to get out, but she simply sounded weary. "For what? My condition is not your fault. My freaking out was not your fault. I know how to compartmentalize, and I do it so well," she said, disappointed in herself. "I haven't been this affected since."
"Since you were told," Johnny finished for her when she trailed off. "And the second and third and millionth opinion confirmed it. And then you shut it down, and you do it well, but it's too important to you."
"I wanted that," she said, pointing down stairs, referring to holding baby Jessica and what it had symbolized. "The whole shebang. I mean growing up here it's kind of hard not to want that you know? And then I find the man of my dreams," she said brushing her fingers over his face, "and it's nearly all at my fingertips except this one thing. And it hurts you know?" she asked "So close and yet so far away."
"Yeah I do. I'm sorry I didn't react. It was just you standing there with that perfect baby in your arms, and for a moment, it was like it could be real. But it wasn't, and it felt like a part of me was dying."
"You deserve so much better."
"Then what? You? Baby there is no one better."
"Don't do that."
"There's that smile. Steph I don't really know what to do to make you feel better."
"You're doing it right now. Holding me is the best thing you can do for me. It makes me feel safe and loved. That's all I need."
"Good. I can do that."
"Oh she really is the cutest thing." Robin said getting a good look at the baby who had managed to take four strong willed agents and make them all go emotional in a matter of seconds.
"You want to hold her."
"Yes. They're all so perfect at this age. I got very lucky with enough family to spoil rotten at young ages."
"Yeah?"
"Mmhmm. Two younger cousins. A few nieces and nephews. And I did a lot of work with kids before I got involved in this business."
"It was me, my nanny and my dad when he had some time. I'm not that good with children at all."
"If this one's mother doesn't come for her I might have to ask about keeping her."
"They all inspire that don't they? Come here angel. Where did Stephanie and Johnny go?" Beverly asked coming into the room.
"They disappeared upstairs to talk." Robin said knowing her friends needed to be alone.
"One can only hope they're discussing grandchildren. I can't wait to have grandchildren to spoil. I want to be young enough to enjoy them, and I can see Mark outside with them in the morning playing ball, just like he does with Steph." Bev said smiling at the mental picture.
The four agents shared an uneasy glance. "Who knows what they're talking about? Steph said something about making Johnny watch hours and hours of girls basketball or something. He's probably trying to get out of it." Vaughn said trying to steer the conversation away from Johnny and Steph having children.
"My Steph was a great basketball player." Bev said moving to the entertainment cabinet. "We have all of her high school games on tape. Not so many of her college games, she went to school on the west coast, and we didn't get out to a lot of her games. And that was back in the day, before women's basketball exploded, very rarely were her games on TV. But we've got a few." She scanned the collection of videos. "This one is my favorite." She said pulling out a tape.
"Look what you did." Syd whispered loudly enough for Michael, Robin and Jason to hear.
Robin and Jason sent him a pained look. "Anything is better then listening to her go on and on about the grandchildren we know she is never going to have. So we're just going to suck it up and watch a good game of basketball, and we know its good or she wouldn't be showing it." He said in a stern whisper.
Steph and Johnny came down the stairs to see her Mom fiddling with the VCR. "Mom what are you doing?"
"Michael mentioned that you were going to show them one of your games. So I'm putting one in."
"Which one are you putting in?"
"My favorite."
"Narrow it down a little for me Mom, every game I ever played was your favorite.
"West Regional final, The Forum, senior year. Against Vanderbelt."
Steph smiled. "That was a good game." She pushed Johnny down onto the Lazy boy and climbed onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, and helped her get comfortable. "I loved college." She said wistfully, thinking back to her days in Palo Alto.
"I've got to get back to the kids. I left them with my assistant." She pushed play and disappeared back downstairs.
After a few seconds of static, a shot of the audience showed up on screen and the announcers voice started. "Welcome to the forum, tonight's regional final pits Stanford against Vanderbelt."
"What does Stanford have to do win tonight?"
"Stanford will go as far as Stephanie Anderson can take them." The camera panned to a focused looking Steph sitting on the bench receiving instructions from head coach Tara VanDerveer. "She's the heart and soul of this team. She leads the nation in three categories; three point shooting percentage, free throw percentage, and steals per game. She's a great all around player, but her most important attribute is the fact that she is an incredible leader. The other players believe in her and they feed off of her. It should be a great game, Jim."
"I paid them well for that glowing endorsement."
"This is so boring." Jason whispered to Robin after the game had been going on for a few minutes.
"Jason."
"You can't find this entertaining."
"I like watching Steph play. She was good. And it's cool to hear what the announcers thought of her. Just watch for a little bit longer and then you can make an excuse to do something else."
"Fine."
"No, Steph don't make that pass. No. What was I thinking making that pass? Ugh, and then I committed the foul on the lay-up." She buried her face in her hands. "I should be benched for that, and not put back in the game until I learn my lesson. That was horrible."
"It wasn't that bad. And you made up for it on the next play."
The game continued, and with forty-five seconds, remaining Stanford was down four. Vandy was in bounding the ball underneath Stanford's basket. "Jones is having trouble in bounding the ball. She lofts it up. A steal by Anderson, she dishes the ball off to Marshall for the easy and most importantly quick two. Anderson went up like a wide receiver in football for that pass. Vandy with the ball, twenty-five seconds left on the clock. Sullivan takes the shot for Vandy, she misses, rebound Marshall who gives the ball off to Anderson. Anderson reaches the frontcourt and calls timeout. Fifteen seconds left on the game clock."
Steph fast-forwarded through the timeout. "I miss basketball."
She pushed play and the game came back on. "Keep in mind Stanford doesn't need a three pointer here. Lets see what they do. Marshall in bounds the ball to Kramer, Kramer dribbles top of the key. Ball goes to Anderson coming off the screen set by Marshall. Anderson shoots, she scores. Three- pointer by Anderson found nothing but the bottom of the net. A great screen by Marshall to get Anderson free. There is one second left on the clock, Vanderbelt has time for a catch and shoot in this situation. Jones baseball tosses it down into the frontcourt; the pass is tipped and caught by Anderson. Game over, and what an incredible game it was."
She clicked off the tape. "That was one of my finer moments. I love basketball Johnny."
"I know you do babe. I know we're moving back here someday."
"You guys are too much." Syd said with a chuckle. All the while admiring the relationship the couple shared. They were so in tune with each other. She wanted what they had. She looked at Michael; she wanted it with him.
"Robin."
"I know, I know. Thank you for being good and watching the whole thing. I'll make it up to you later."
"You promise."
"I promise."