The song, You Give Love A Bad Name, is by Jon Bon Jovi
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
Darling you give love a bad name.
A angel's smile is what you sell.
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell.
Chains of love got a hold on me.
When passion's a prison, you can't break free.
Oh ohh you're a loaded gun.
Ohh there's nowhere to run.
No one can save me.
The damage is done.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame
You give love a bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name.
You give love a bad name.
You paint your smile on your lips.
Blood red nails on your fingertips.
A schoolboy's dream, you act so shy.
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye.
Oh ohhh you're a loaded gun.
Ohhh there's nowhere to run.
No one can save me.
The damage is done.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
You give love a bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name.
You give love a bad name.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
You give love a bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name, bad name.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
You give love a bad name, bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name, bad name.
You give love...a bad name.
You give love...a bad name.
You give love...a bad name.
You Give Love A Bad Name:
She sat down at the counter of the restaurant in the dance
club, pushing her wind-blown shiny long brown hair back out of her
face. She was wearing black pants and a jean jacket over a white
shirt. Someone with short brown hair approached her.
"Hello," the feminine voice said, sitting down on the stool
next to her and swiveling around to face her. "My name is Kris,
short for Kristie. What's yours?"
"You really want to know?" the woman asked.
"Of course. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know," Kris
said.
"My name is Tanya," she answered.
"Here you go miss," the waiter said, handing Kris and Tanya
both the drinks they had previously ordered.
Kris rose her glass into the air. "To romance," she said,
clinking her glass down against Tanya's glass.
"No," Tanya shook her head. "Romance and I have never
gotten along."
"Really?" Kris asked, a grin appearing on her face. "Allow
me to introduce you to her. I think you will find you like her
quite a bit once you've met her." She grabbed Tanya's hand and led
her out to the dance floor.
"Is this supposed to mean you are romance?" Tanya asked.
Kris laughed. "Yes of course. Did you not know?"
Tanya giggled and cautiously danced with the girl.
Michelle and Amara looked at each other as Tanya babbled on
about the new girl she had met last night at the lesbian restaurant
and dance floor. They tried not to say anything to discourage her,
but they both looked at each other with the knowledge of what was
to come.
"Tanya," Michelle began tentatively.
"What?" Tanya stopped talking and looked at Michelle. "What
is it?" she asked again, suspicion growing in her mind.
"Please don't take this the wrong way. It's just...are you
sure this is such a good idea? I mean I'm sure she's a nice girl
and all, but you were supposed to be spending time finding
yourself. It might not be the greatest idea in the world to be
working on your own healing when you're attached to someone you
know..." She trailed off.
"It's not like that. She's not like that," Tanya said.
"It's different. She could help me. She actually made me laugh,
and see how I'm smiling today?"
"Yes we see, but you smiled and felt happy with the others
at first too. It's always great in the beginning," Amara cautioned.
"She hasn't done anything to hurt me," Tanya said
defensively. "And until she does I see no reason to push her out of
my life."
"We're not asking you to push her out of your life. We're
just asking that you try to remain friends and not see her too
often until you're better," Michelle said cautiously.
"I did fine last night," Tanya said.
"But you still have quite a lot of bad nights and days
Tanya," Amara said honestly.
"Fine, if you all are against me then I'll leave. If you
ask me you two are the ones not being supportive."
"Tanya really we didn't mean any harm," Michelle said
quickly, gently touching her arm. "Stay please. It's your life. I'm
sorry."
Tanya sighed. "It's ok. You're right. I do have a bad track
record for this kind of thing don't I? But I'm telling you guys
this time it's different. I feel how genuine she is."
"And maybe you're right, but all the others have been
charmers too," Amara cautioned.
"I know. I know." Tanya sighed again. "Okay I'll just
remain friends and keep a watch out for now ok? Maybe you guys
could meet her if you wanted?"
"I'd like that," Michelle said.
"Yeah me too," Amara agreed.
She flipped back her newly cut hair and smiled as she gazed
at herself in the mirror. She was ready for a new start. She
puckered her lips and leaned in towards the mirror, tilting her
head from side to side to look at the lip gloss from every angle.
It was smoothly applied. She deftly put a small yellow flower clip
on the side of her brown hair that now ended at her shoulders. She
put on a new jean dress that she had just bought and she went out
walking. *No more men in my life and no more pain,* she thought
excitedly.
She almost got run over by someone as she crossed the
street just as the light had turned red. The red sports car
skidded to a stop. "Hey, I'm sorry about that. Are you all right?"
the woman who stepped out of the vehicle asked.
Tanya was rooted in place staring at the tall woman with
long brown hair to her hips who stepped out of the car. "Are you
all right?" she asked again as she brushed back her hair.
*My hair used to be like that when I was with him. I'm so
glad I cut it, but it is a pity too. She looks gorgeous* "I...yes
I'm fine. Thank you," Tanya said timidly, awestruck by this woman's
beauty.
The woman smiled in a kind way and strolled up to Tanya.
"My name is Lanie," she said.
*The name rolls off her tongue,* Tanya thought.
"What's your name?" Lanie asked politely.
"Tanya," she whispered softly.
Lanie smiled a huge smile and laughed a little. "Tanya
hm? That's a beautiful name for a beautiful lady."
Tanya giggled and looked down at the pavement shyly.
Lanie handed her her card. "Call me sometime whether for a
friendly outing or...something else," she said, winking as she got
back in her car and sped away.
Tanya's breath was caught in her throat. *She's gorgeous,*
was all she could think.
Ringgg Ringg. The sound echoed in Tanya's ear. After the
third ring, she almost hung up. *Stupid idea to call,* she thought
miserably just as the receiver clicked.
"Hello," the other voice on the end of the line said.
She paused. *Can I really go through with this?* she
wondered in a panic.
"Hello," the voice sounded more irritated. "Who's there?"
it asked impatiently.
"It's Tanya," she squeaked.
"Tanya! Great to hear from you!" the voice sounded more
like when she had first met Lanie. "How are you doing Tanya?"
"All right," she managed to get out.
"Yeah? That's great. I'm doing awesome. Hey how would you
like to grab a burger tomorrow afternoon?"
"Okay," Tanya said happily.
"Great I'll meet you at Casco's Grill at noon tomorrow."
"Okay," Tanya agreed as they both hung up the phone. She
smiled and hummed to herself as she went to work at the nearby ice
cream store.
"Mmhmm, this burger is great," Lanie said excitedly
between bites.
Tanya smiled as she took a bite out of her burger. "Yum,
it is good," she agreed despite the fact that she normally hated
the taste of burgers. She didn't want to disappoint Lanie though,
so she smiled and went along with it. After all what was the harm
in pretending she liked it? She kind of did like this burger
anyway she tried to convince herself.
"Well I'll see you again soon I hope," Lanie said, gazing
into Tanya's eyes.
Tanya giggled nervously and nodded her head. "Yep soon,"
she agreed.
Lanie leaned in for a quick goodbye kiss before heading
back to her car, and Tanya's eyes followed her as a huge grin
appeared on her face.
Soon they were together almost all the time. They went
bowling and out to eat and to art shows together. As summer rolled
around they enjoyed going to the pool and to the movies where it
was cool.
"That movie was great!" Lanie exclaimed.
"Yes, very good," Tanya agreed.
"Hey Tanya, stop a second. I want to ask you something,"
Lanie requested.
Tanya stopped. "Yes what is it?" she asked, fear rising in
her heart. *Don't let her want to break up,* she thought
desperately.
"Hey calm down girl. It's a serious question but not that
serious," Lanie teased.
Tanya smiled. "All right, what is it?" she asked, trying
hard to replace the look on her face with one devoid of fear.
"We've been going out many months now, so I guess I was
wondering what you would think of umm living together?"
"You want to move in?" Tanya asked.
"Or you can move into my place," Lanie said.
"Oh that would be...wow I haven't ever thought of that,
but I would really like that," Tanya said.
"Great! Then it's settled. Bring your stuff over to my
apartment tonight ok?"
"Ok," Tanya agreed.
When Tanya arrived that night, she opened the door to
see the place lit up by candlelight and roses strewn everywhere.
"wow," she breathed.
Lanie smiled as she came up and gave her an affectionate
hug that soon turned into a makeout session.
They sat down on the couch after putting Tanya's stuff
away, reveling in one another's company.
"Amara! Michelle!" Tanya exclaimed, coming up to where
they were sitting in the restaurant. She was there with Lanie of
course.
"Who is this?" Amara teased.
"My girlfriend," Tanya announced proudly. Lanie held her
close, eyeing Amara and Michelle suspiciously.
"Nice to meet you," Michelle said, extending her hand.
"Likewise," Lanie said, still eyeing them suspiciously.
"How about we all eat together?" Amara suggested.
"That would be great," Tanya said.
She turned around when she felt Lanie pinching her arm.
"I don't want to eat with them," Lanie hissed in her ear
quietly.
"Oh umm," Tanya turned red. "Actually we wanted some
time alone," she said.
Lanie nodded her head in agreement, loosening her grip
on Tanya's arm as they went to another table to eat by
themselves.
"I got a bad vibe from her," Amara said quietly.
Michelle sighed. "I did too," she said sadly.
The phone rang and Tanya picked it up. "Hello," she
said.
"Hey Tanya, it's Amara. How are you doing?"
"I'm ok. What's up?" she asked.
"Not a lot. Michelle and I were just wondering if you
and Lanie wanted to double sometime? Maybe catch a movie or
something together."
"That would be great."
"Okay how about one showing today-sometime this
afternoon?"
"Okay," Tanya agreed. "I'll go tell Lanie. Bye."
"Talk to ya later," Amara said as she hung up.
"Lanie!" Tanya yelled as Lanie appeared behind her.
"What was that about?" she asked harshly.
"Umm Amara and Michelle wanted us to go see a movie with
them this afternoon. Is that ok?"
"I guess it doesn't matter if it's ok with me since it
sounds like you said yes anyway," Lanie shot at her.
"Umm well. I didn't think it would be a problem."
"How stupid are you?" Lanie asked angrily. "Didn't you
know I wanted to spend the day alone with you?"
"Well...no I didn't. I'm really sorry Lanie. I'll call
them back and call it off."
"No forget it. It's too late now. You already said yes.
Way to go idiot," she said angrily, stomping off.
"Oh Lanie I'm really sorry," Tanya repeated
apologetically.
"Forget it," Lanie said.
"Will you ever forgive me?" Tanya asked, clinging onto
her arm.
"Yeah fine, whatever. Just leave me alone," she said,
pushing Tanya away. Tanya hung her head down in shame as she
left the room.
The movie went well for everyone but Lanie who was
pouting the whole time.
"Come on," Lanie said, pulling Tanya from Amara and
Michelle as they walked home together.
As Amara and Michelle also walked home together they
had a conversation about Lanie and Tanya. "I feel like Tanya is
doing a repeat performance of Barry except with Lanie now,"
Michelle said softly.
"I agree. This is no good," Amara agreed.
"What should we do?" Michelle asked.
"Unfortunately other than being there for her there's
not much we can do," Amara said.
"Yeah but Barry was wonderful in the beginning too then
he slowly began to put her down and eventually got to beating
her. I feel like Lanie is the same way, possessive and
controlling. Isn't it our duty as her friends to let her know
that?"
"I doubt she'd listen to us. She's already taken by
Lanie. She has been from the beginning. Now Lanie can just keep
edging in and slowly controlling her more and more. I don't
think Tanya will notice, and I don't think she'll take kindly to
our meddling."
"Maybe not, but we should at least try to talk to her."
Amara sighed. "All right, what should we say and how do
we get her alone without Lanie hanging around?"
"Leave that to me," Michelle requested. "I'll do my
best.
"I did my best," Michelle said in exasperation that
night.
"I told you," Amara teased.
"Yeah you did. She won't leave Lanie's side just the way
Lanie wants it," Michelle said in concern. "I'm worried about
her Amara."
"Me too, me too," Amara admitted sadly, holding Michelle
close.
"You told her no right?" Lanie asked that morning as she
came into the kitchen.
"Yes," Tanya said.
"Good. I don't want to hang out with them. It's just you
and me sweetie," she said, hugging Tanya close. "For always and
forever."
Tanya gulped and hugged her close as a tear slipped out
of her eye.
"What's wrong hon?" Lanie asked.
"It's just...I miss Michelle and Amara and all my
friends. I haven't been able to see them in so long."
"What do you mean? I'm not good enough for you?" Lanie
asked, her eyes narrowing.
"No, no, no, it's not that Lanie. It's just I mean we
spend every moment together. Wouldn't you like to see some of
your friends too?"
"No," Lanie said. "And I'm insulted that you miss yours.
You wouldn't if you truly enjoyed being with me." She grabbed
Tanya's hair roughly and pulled on it.
"Ow," Tanya said.
"Let that be a lesson. You never talk about your friends
around me again, or you can kiss this relationship goodbye," Lanie
said angrily.
"I'm sorry," Tanya said, looking down in shame.
"Yeah you should be bitch."
Tanya began crying and Lanie held her close. "I'm sorry
sweetie. I'll never hurt you again," she promised.
Michelle and Amara were walking in the park. "I haven't
seen Tanya around in a long time, and whenever I try to contact
her I can never get through," Michelle said worriedly.
"Yeah, I know. I can't get through either. I think
Lanie's got her wrapped around her finger."
Michelle sighed. "I'm afraid you're right."
"I'm doing something about this," Amara finally said a
few minutes later.
"What are you going to do?" Michelle asked.
"The same thing I did with Barry, confront Lanie."
"That worked last time, but it was a dangerous choice.
Can't we try something else this time?" Michelle asked.
"Like what? I could take that scrawny girl on," Amara
promised.
"Yeah I know you could baby, but I think I have another
idea. Let me try it please?"
"Hey I'll never stop you from doing what you want,"
Amara said. "Try it by all means, but I'm still preparing tp pack
a punch on that sneaky weasel."
Michelle laughed. "All right baby," she said as she
kissed Amara quickly on the cheek.
Knock. Knock. Tanya opened the door, and Michelle was
standing there. "I can't talk to you," Tanya said, worriedly
glancing over her shoulder.
"I know. Here," Michelle said, handing her some
pamphlets and leaving. Tanya closed the door.
"Who was at the door?" Lanie asked.
"No one. Salesman," Tanya lied.
Lanie came up behind her and kissed her neck. Then she
saw the pamphlets. They were labeled Domestic Violence.
"What the hell is this?" she asked.
"I don't know. Just pamphlets from the salesman," Tanya
said.
"Why did you accept these?" Lanie asked angrily.
Tanya gulped. "I umm I didn't know what they were," she
said quietly.
Whack. Lanie hit her across the mouth. "Give those to
me," she said angrily, snatching them from Tanya. "Don't you
dare ever insult me like this again. You want violence? I'll give
you violence."
"No Lanie please," Tanya begged as Lanie threw her across
the room and pulled her hair before punching her down onto the
ground.
Tanya began crying again and Lanie held her close. "Sorry
sweetie. I won't ever do it again," she promised yet again. "You
know I just do this cause I love you right? I don't want to hurt
you. It's just I have to do this. You mean so much to me. I
promise I won't hurt you again."
Tanya nodded her head mutely.
It was late at night and Tanya got up slowly, her body
still sore from the bruises. She gingerly crept into the kitchen
and very quietly picked up the phone and dialed the number on the
pamphlet. "Please wait a moment while we are transferring your
call to the nearest crisis center," the phone message said.
She shakily held onto the phone, on high alert, listening
and looking for Lanie.
"Hello," a voice said on the other end.
"Heelloo," she said shakily in her quietest voice.
"Ma'am are you all right? Do you need some help?"
"It's my girlfriend. I mean I know she loves me, but I'm
tired of not being allowed to go anywhere and getting beat."
"Your girlfriend? Ma'am this is a domestic violence
hotline for women being battered by their husbands. I can't
possibly see how you could be abused by another woman. I'm sorry
if things are hard at home right now, but just stick it out. I'm
sure they'll get better." And the woman hung up.
Tanya hung up the receiver and began to cry. Lanie found
her. "What are you doing up?" she asked harshly.
"Nothing," Tanya mumbled.
"You little liar. You never tell me what you're doing."
Lanie hit her and punched her in the stomach then grabbed her
hair and dragged her back into the bedroom. "From now on you tell
me every single call you make. I don't want you out of my sight
understand?" Lanie asked.
Tanya nodded her head silently.
One night, after a particularly bad beating, Tanya crept
out and quietly called the hotline again. This time she decided
not to tell that it was a woman beating her, but rather just call
to have someone to talk to for awhile. She had already lost all
hope of getting out of the situaton. No one would believe that a
woman could be an abuser it seemed.
"Hello," the voice on the other end said.
"Heelloo," she said shakily.
"What's your name?" the woman asked.
"Kelly," she lied.
"Well what has caused you to call today Kelly?" the
woman asked.
"I jjust wannted someonee to talk tto," she said
shakily.
"Are you all right? Are you in any danger now?"
"I've already been beat, so I'm not in danger for another
beating for awhile. I just needed someone to talk to," Tanya
quietly said.
"I see," the woman said. "Why don't you tell me about
this?"
Tanya began crying. "I...please I know that you think it
can't be done by a girl but my girlfriend she controls every
part of my life. I can't go anywhere, see anyone, call anyone
without her knowledge. I shouldn't even be making this call. I'm
just so afraid. If she finds me I'll be in so much trouble."
Tanya choked on her tears.
The woman's voice reflected compassion and concern.
"Women can be abusers and too often that is discounted by people,
but I believe you. I know that an abuser can be a female just
as well as a victim can be a male."
Tanya nodded her head, though the woman could not see
that, and quietly thanked the woman.
"You're welcome. Now why don't you call the police on
her? Or tell me where you live and I'll do it for you."
"Oh I don't want to get her into any trouble," Tanya
said.
The woman sighed. "And believe me I understand that, but
you know what she's doing to you isn't right. You do deserve
so much better. I promise."
A tear rolled down Tanya's cheek. "Thank you," she said
quietly.
"Why don't you give me your address all right?"
"Okay," Tanya reluctantly agreed after admitting that she
had lied about her name and telling the lady her real one. That
night she was escorted out of the house safely by the police and
got a restraining order on Lanie.
That night Tanya lay down in bed. *Would things be
different with Kris, or was she going through another performance
of Barry and Lanie?* she wondered silently. Only time would tell,
but she realized that what Amara and Michelle had said was true.
An abuser could be anyone and often seem great at first. She vowed
this time that at the first sign of trouble. The first name she
got called, the first hit she felt on her skin, or the first
control tactic she noticed, she would be out of the relationship
before the abuse could begin again. That night she slept well for
the first night in a long time.
The End
Note-Domestic Violence hotline number- 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Women can be abusers and males can be victims. Gay and lesbian
couples are just the same as straight couples' relationships.
Some are good and some are abusive.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
Darling you give love a bad name.
A angel's smile is what you sell.
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell.
Chains of love got a hold on me.
When passion's a prison, you can't break free.
Oh ohh you're a loaded gun.
Ohh there's nowhere to run.
No one can save me.
The damage is done.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame
You give love a bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name.
You give love a bad name.
You paint your smile on your lips.
Blood red nails on your fingertips.
A schoolboy's dream, you act so shy.
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye.
Oh ohhh you're a loaded gun.
Ohhh there's nowhere to run.
No one can save me.
The damage is done.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
You give love a bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name.
You give love a bad name.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
You give love a bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name, bad name.
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame.
You give love a bad name, bad name.
I play my part, and you play your game.
You give love a bad name, bad name.
You give love...a bad name.
You give love...a bad name.
You give love...a bad name.
You Give Love A Bad Name:
She sat down at the counter of the restaurant in the dance
club, pushing her wind-blown shiny long brown hair back out of her
face. She was wearing black pants and a jean jacket over a white
shirt. Someone with short brown hair approached her.
"Hello," the feminine voice said, sitting down on the stool
next to her and swiveling around to face her. "My name is Kris,
short for Kristie. What's yours?"
"You really want to know?" the woman asked.
"Of course. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know," Kris
said.
"My name is Tanya," she answered.
"Here you go miss," the waiter said, handing Kris and Tanya
both the drinks they had previously ordered.
Kris rose her glass into the air. "To romance," she said,
clinking her glass down against Tanya's glass.
"No," Tanya shook her head. "Romance and I have never
gotten along."
"Really?" Kris asked, a grin appearing on her face. "Allow
me to introduce you to her. I think you will find you like her
quite a bit once you've met her." She grabbed Tanya's hand and led
her out to the dance floor.
"Is this supposed to mean you are romance?" Tanya asked.
Kris laughed. "Yes of course. Did you not know?"
Tanya giggled and cautiously danced with the girl.
Michelle and Amara looked at each other as Tanya babbled on
about the new girl she had met last night at the lesbian restaurant
and dance floor. They tried not to say anything to discourage her,
but they both looked at each other with the knowledge of what was
to come.
"Tanya," Michelle began tentatively.
"What?" Tanya stopped talking and looked at Michelle. "What
is it?" she asked again, suspicion growing in her mind.
"Please don't take this the wrong way. It's just...are you
sure this is such a good idea? I mean I'm sure she's a nice girl
and all, but you were supposed to be spending time finding
yourself. It might not be the greatest idea in the world to be
working on your own healing when you're attached to someone you
know..." She trailed off.
"It's not like that. She's not like that," Tanya said.
"It's different. She could help me. She actually made me laugh,
and see how I'm smiling today?"
"Yes we see, but you smiled and felt happy with the others
at first too. It's always great in the beginning," Amara cautioned.
"She hasn't done anything to hurt me," Tanya said
defensively. "And until she does I see no reason to push her out of
my life."
"We're not asking you to push her out of your life. We're
just asking that you try to remain friends and not see her too
often until you're better," Michelle said cautiously.
"I did fine last night," Tanya said.
"But you still have quite a lot of bad nights and days
Tanya," Amara said honestly.
"Fine, if you all are against me then I'll leave. If you
ask me you two are the ones not being supportive."
"Tanya really we didn't mean any harm," Michelle said
quickly, gently touching her arm. "Stay please. It's your life. I'm
sorry."
Tanya sighed. "It's ok. You're right. I do have a bad track
record for this kind of thing don't I? But I'm telling you guys
this time it's different. I feel how genuine she is."
"And maybe you're right, but all the others have been
charmers too," Amara cautioned.
"I know. I know." Tanya sighed again. "Okay I'll just
remain friends and keep a watch out for now ok? Maybe you guys
could meet her if you wanted?"
"I'd like that," Michelle said.
"Yeah me too," Amara agreed.
She flipped back her newly cut hair and smiled as she gazed
at herself in the mirror. She was ready for a new start. She
puckered her lips and leaned in towards the mirror, tilting her
head from side to side to look at the lip gloss from every angle.
It was smoothly applied. She deftly put a small yellow flower clip
on the side of her brown hair that now ended at her shoulders. She
put on a new jean dress that she had just bought and she went out
walking. *No more men in my life and no more pain,* she thought
excitedly.
She almost got run over by someone as she crossed the
street just as the light had turned red. The red sports car
skidded to a stop. "Hey, I'm sorry about that. Are you all right?"
the woman who stepped out of the vehicle asked.
Tanya was rooted in place staring at the tall woman with
long brown hair to her hips who stepped out of the car. "Are you
all right?" she asked again as she brushed back her hair.
*My hair used to be like that when I was with him. I'm so
glad I cut it, but it is a pity too. She looks gorgeous* "I...yes
I'm fine. Thank you," Tanya said timidly, awestruck by this woman's
beauty.
The woman smiled in a kind way and strolled up to Tanya.
"My name is Lanie," she said.
*The name rolls off her tongue,* Tanya thought.
"What's your name?" Lanie asked politely.
"Tanya," she whispered softly.
Lanie smiled a huge smile and laughed a little. "Tanya
hm? That's a beautiful name for a beautiful lady."
Tanya giggled and looked down at the pavement shyly.
Lanie handed her her card. "Call me sometime whether for a
friendly outing or...something else," she said, winking as she got
back in her car and sped away.
Tanya's breath was caught in her throat. *She's gorgeous,*
was all she could think.
Ringgg Ringg. The sound echoed in Tanya's ear. After the
third ring, she almost hung up. *Stupid idea to call,* she thought
miserably just as the receiver clicked.
"Hello," the other voice on the end of the line said.
She paused. *Can I really go through with this?* she
wondered in a panic.
"Hello," the voice sounded more irritated. "Who's there?"
it asked impatiently.
"It's Tanya," she squeaked.
"Tanya! Great to hear from you!" the voice sounded more
like when she had first met Lanie. "How are you doing Tanya?"
"All right," she managed to get out.
"Yeah? That's great. I'm doing awesome. Hey how would you
like to grab a burger tomorrow afternoon?"
"Okay," Tanya said happily.
"Great I'll meet you at Casco's Grill at noon tomorrow."
"Okay," Tanya agreed as they both hung up the phone. She
smiled and hummed to herself as she went to work at the nearby ice
cream store.
"Mmhmm, this burger is great," Lanie said excitedly
between bites.
Tanya smiled as she took a bite out of her burger. "Yum,
it is good," she agreed despite the fact that she normally hated
the taste of burgers. She didn't want to disappoint Lanie though,
so she smiled and went along with it. After all what was the harm
in pretending she liked it? She kind of did like this burger
anyway she tried to convince herself.
"Well I'll see you again soon I hope," Lanie said, gazing
into Tanya's eyes.
Tanya giggled nervously and nodded her head. "Yep soon,"
she agreed.
Lanie leaned in for a quick goodbye kiss before heading
back to her car, and Tanya's eyes followed her as a huge grin
appeared on her face.
Soon they were together almost all the time. They went
bowling and out to eat and to art shows together. As summer rolled
around they enjoyed going to the pool and to the movies where it
was cool.
"That movie was great!" Lanie exclaimed.
"Yes, very good," Tanya agreed.
"Hey Tanya, stop a second. I want to ask you something,"
Lanie requested.
Tanya stopped. "Yes what is it?" she asked, fear rising in
her heart. *Don't let her want to break up,* she thought
desperately.
"Hey calm down girl. It's a serious question but not that
serious," Lanie teased.
Tanya smiled. "All right, what is it?" she asked, trying
hard to replace the look on her face with one devoid of fear.
"We've been going out many months now, so I guess I was
wondering what you would think of umm living together?"
"You want to move in?" Tanya asked.
"Or you can move into my place," Lanie said.
"Oh that would be...wow I haven't ever thought of that,
but I would really like that," Tanya said.
"Great! Then it's settled. Bring your stuff over to my
apartment tonight ok?"
"Ok," Tanya agreed.
When Tanya arrived that night, she opened the door to
see the place lit up by candlelight and roses strewn everywhere.
"wow," she breathed.
Lanie smiled as she came up and gave her an affectionate
hug that soon turned into a makeout session.
They sat down on the couch after putting Tanya's stuff
away, reveling in one another's company.
"Amara! Michelle!" Tanya exclaimed, coming up to where
they were sitting in the restaurant. She was there with Lanie of
course.
"Who is this?" Amara teased.
"My girlfriend," Tanya announced proudly. Lanie held her
close, eyeing Amara and Michelle suspiciously.
"Nice to meet you," Michelle said, extending her hand.
"Likewise," Lanie said, still eyeing them suspiciously.
"How about we all eat together?" Amara suggested.
"That would be great," Tanya said.
She turned around when she felt Lanie pinching her arm.
"I don't want to eat with them," Lanie hissed in her ear
quietly.
"Oh umm," Tanya turned red. "Actually we wanted some
time alone," she said.
Lanie nodded her head in agreement, loosening her grip
on Tanya's arm as they went to another table to eat by
themselves.
"I got a bad vibe from her," Amara said quietly.
Michelle sighed. "I did too," she said sadly.
The phone rang and Tanya picked it up. "Hello," she
said.
"Hey Tanya, it's Amara. How are you doing?"
"I'm ok. What's up?" she asked.
"Not a lot. Michelle and I were just wondering if you
and Lanie wanted to double sometime? Maybe catch a movie or
something together."
"That would be great."
"Okay how about one showing today-sometime this
afternoon?"
"Okay," Tanya agreed. "I'll go tell Lanie. Bye."
"Talk to ya later," Amara said as she hung up.
"Lanie!" Tanya yelled as Lanie appeared behind her.
"What was that about?" she asked harshly.
"Umm Amara and Michelle wanted us to go see a movie with
them this afternoon. Is that ok?"
"I guess it doesn't matter if it's ok with me since it
sounds like you said yes anyway," Lanie shot at her.
"Umm well. I didn't think it would be a problem."
"How stupid are you?" Lanie asked angrily. "Didn't you
know I wanted to spend the day alone with you?"
"Well...no I didn't. I'm really sorry Lanie. I'll call
them back and call it off."
"No forget it. It's too late now. You already said yes.
Way to go idiot," she said angrily, stomping off.
"Oh Lanie I'm really sorry," Tanya repeated
apologetically.
"Forget it," Lanie said.
"Will you ever forgive me?" Tanya asked, clinging onto
her arm.
"Yeah fine, whatever. Just leave me alone," she said,
pushing Tanya away. Tanya hung her head down in shame as she
left the room.
The movie went well for everyone but Lanie who was
pouting the whole time.
"Come on," Lanie said, pulling Tanya from Amara and
Michelle as they walked home together.
As Amara and Michelle also walked home together they
had a conversation about Lanie and Tanya. "I feel like Tanya is
doing a repeat performance of Barry except with Lanie now,"
Michelle said softly.
"I agree. This is no good," Amara agreed.
"What should we do?" Michelle asked.
"Unfortunately other than being there for her there's
not much we can do," Amara said.
"Yeah but Barry was wonderful in the beginning too then
he slowly began to put her down and eventually got to beating
her. I feel like Lanie is the same way, possessive and
controlling. Isn't it our duty as her friends to let her know
that?"
"I doubt she'd listen to us. She's already taken by
Lanie. She has been from the beginning. Now Lanie can just keep
edging in and slowly controlling her more and more. I don't
think Tanya will notice, and I don't think she'll take kindly to
our meddling."
"Maybe not, but we should at least try to talk to her."
Amara sighed. "All right, what should we say and how do
we get her alone without Lanie hanging around?"
"Leave that to me," Michelle requested. "I'll do my
best.
"I did my best," Michelle said in exasperation that
night.
"I told you," Amara teased.
"Yeah you did. She won't leave Lanie's side just the way
Lanie wants it," Michelle said in concern. "I'm worried about
her Amara."
"Me too, me too," Amara admitted sadly, holding Michelle
close.
"You told her no right?" Lanie asked that morning as she
came into the kitchen.
"Yes," Tanya said.
"Good. I don't want to hang out with them. It's just you
and me sweetie," she said, hugging Tanya close. "For always and
forever."
Tanya gulped and hugged her close as a tear slipped out
of her eye.
"What's wrong hon?" Lanie asked.
"It's just...I miss Michelle and Amara and all my
friends. I haven't been able to see them in so long."
"What do you mean? I'm not good enough for you?" Lanie
asked, her eyes narrowing.
"No, no, no, it's not that Lanie. It's just I mean we
spend every moment together. Wouldn't you like to see some of
your friends too?"
"No," Lanie said. "And I'm insulted that you miss yours.
You wouldn't if you truly enjoyed being with me." She grabbed
Tanya's hair roughly and pulled on it.
"Ow," Tanya said.
"Let that be a lesson. You never talk about your friends
around me again, or you can kiss this relationship goodbye," Lanie
said angrily.
"I'm sorry," Tanya said, looking down in shame.
"Yeah you should be bitch."
Tanya began crying and Lanie held her close. "I'm sorry
sweetie. I'll never hurt you again," she promised.
Michelle and Amara were walking in the park. "I haven't
seen Tanya around in a long time, and whenever I try to contact
her I can never get through," Michelle said worriedly.
"Yeah, I know. I can't get through either. I think
Lanie's got her wrapped around her finger."
Michelle sighed. "I'm afraid you're right."
"I'm doing something about this," Amara finally said a
few minutes later.
"What are you going to do?" Michelle asked.
"The same thing I did with Barry, confront Lanie."
"That worked last time, but it was a dangerous choice.
Can't we try something else this time?" Michelle asked.
"Like what? I could take that scrawny girl on," Amara
promised.
"Yeah I know you could baby, but I think I have another
idea. Let me try it please?"
"Hey I'll never stop you from doing what you want,"
Amara said. "Try it by all means, but I'm still preparing tp pack
a punch on that sneaky weasel."
Michelle laughed. "All right baby," she said as she
kissed Amara quickly on the cheek.
Knock. Knock. Tanya opened the door, and Michelle was
standing there. "I can't talk to you," Tanya said, worriedly
glancing over her shoulder.
"I know. Here," Michelle said, handing her some
pamphlets and leaving. Tanya closed the door.
"Who was at the door?" Lanie asked.
"No one. Salesman," Tanya lied.
Lanie came up behind her and kissed her neck. Then she
saw the pamphlets. They were labeled Domestic Violence.
"What the hell is this?" she asked.
"I don't know. Just pamphlets from the salesman," Tanya
said.
"Why did you accept these?" Lanie asked angrily.
Tanya gulped. "I umm I didn't know what they were," she
said quietly.
Whack. Lanie hit her across the mouth. "Give those to
me," she said angrily, snatching them from Tanya. "Don't you
dare ever insult me like this again. You want violence? I'll give
you violence."
"No Lanie please," Tanya begged as Lanie threw her across
the room and pulled her hair before punching her down onto the
ground.
Tanya began crying again and Lanie held her close. "Sorry
sweetie. I won't ever do it again," she promised yet again. "You
know I just do this cause I love you right? I don't want to hurt
you. It's just I have to do this. You mean so much to me. I
promise I won't hurt you again."
Tanya nodded her head mutely.
It was late at night and Tanya got up slowly, her body
still sore from the bruises. She gingerly crept into the kitchen
and very quietly picked up the phone and dialed the number on the
pamphlet. "Please wait a moment while we are transferring your
call to the nearest crisis center," the phone message said.
She shakily held onto the phone, on high alert, listening
and looking for Lanie.
"Hello," a voice said on the other end.
"Heelloo," she said shakily in her quietest voice.
"Ma'am are you all right? Do you need some help?"
"It's my girlfriend. I mean I know she loves me, but I'm
tired of not being allowed to go anywhere and getting beat."
"Your girlfriend? Ma'am this is a domestic violence
hotline for women being battered by their husbands. I can't
possibly see how you could be abused by another woman. I'm sorry
if things are hard at home right now, but just stick it out. I'm
sure they'll get better." And the woman hung up.
Tanya hung up the receiver and began to cry. Lanie found
her. "What are you doing up?" she asked harshly.
"Nothing," Tanya mumbled.
"You little liar. You never tell me what you're doing."
Lanie hit her and punched her in the stomach then grabbed her
hair and dragged her back into the bedroom. "From now on you tell
me every single call you make. I don't want you out of my sight
understand?" Lanie asked.
Tanya nodded her head silently.
One night, after a particularly bad beating, Tanya crept
out and quietly called the hotline again. This time she decided
not to tell that it was a woman beating her, but rather just call
to have someone to talk to for awhile. She had already lost all
hope of getting out of the situaton. No one would believe that a
woman could be an abuser it seemed.
"Hello," the voice on the other end said.
"Heelloo," she said shakily.
"What's your name?" the woman asked.
"Kelly," she lied.
"Well what has caused you to call today Kelly?" the
woman asked.
"I jjust wannted someonee to talk tto," she said
shakily.
"Are you all right? Are you in any danger now?"
"I've already been beat, so I'm not in danger for another
beating for awhile. I just needed someone to talk to," Tanya
quietly said.
"I see," the woman said. "Why don't you tell me about
this?"
Tanya began crying. "I...please I know that you think it
can't be done by a girl but my girlfriend she controls every
part of my life. I can't go anywhere, see anyone, call anyone
without her knowledge. I shouldn't even be making this call. I'm
just so afraid. If she finds me I'll be in so much trouble."
Tanya choked on her tears.
The woman's voice reflected compassion and concern.
"Women can be abusers and too often that is discounted by people,
but I believe you. I know that an abuser can be a female just
as well as a victim can be a male."
Tanya nodded her head, though the woman could not see
that, and quietly thanked the woman.
"You're welcome. Now why don't you call the police on
her? Or tell me where you live and I'll do it for you."
"Oh I don't want to get her into any trouble," Tanya
said.
The woman sighed. "And believe me I understand that, but
you know what she's doing to you isn't right. You do deserve
so much better. I promise."
A tear rolled down Tanya's cheek. "Thank you," she said
quietly.
"Why don't you give me your address all right?"
"Okay," Tanya reluctantly agreed after admitting that she
had lied about her name and telling the lady her real one. That
night she was escorted out of the house safely by the police and
got a restraining order on Lanie.
That night Tanya lay down in bed. *Would things be
different with Kris, or was she going through another performance
of Barry and Lanie?* she wondered silently. Only time would tell,
but she realized that what Amara and Michelle had said was true.
An abuser could be anyone and often seem great at first. She vowed
this time that at the first sign of trouble. The first name she
got called, the first hit she felt on her skin, or the first
control tactic she noticed, she would be out of the relationship
before the abuse could begin again. That night she slept well for
the first night in a long time.
The End
Note-Domestic Violence hotline number- 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Women can be abusers and males can be victims. Gay and lesbian
couples are just the same as straight couples' relationships.
Some are good and some are abusive.