Fifth Year
Remus' fifth year at Hogwarts could not have begun any better. He and Moira still had several classes together, and though they had been placed in separate study groups for their Advanced DADA class, they still spent several hours a week studying together, alone. Sirius and Moira were finally beginning to get along, sometimes making it for whole stretches without an argument. James and Sirius had figured out and mastered the Animagus Spell, and they and Peter could transfigure themselves into animals to keep him company during the full moon. But possibly the best thing to happen during this year was the announcement of the dance. In just two week's time, on the last evening before students went home for the holidays, Dumbledore had planned a holiday dance for the students of Hogwarts School. It wasn't going to be formal, just a chance for the students to relax and have a good time. An escape from the mounting dangers outside the school walls as Voldemort became more and more powerful.
A dance.
Remus knew exactly who he would ask, if only he could catch her alone.
He caught Moira leaving the Great Hall after dinner. She was alone, heading toward the library, a perfect chance to ask her to the dance.
"Moira!" he called out, jogging up to her as she turned and flashed him a smile.
"Remus, hey."
"Hey. Uh, you got a second?"
Moira looked back toward her destination.
"Actually, I'm running kind of late for our Defense study group. But I do need to talk to you too. In private. Could you meet me outside the library in, say, an hour and a half?"
"Yeah. Sure." He smiled broadly. "Of course." Could it be that she would ask him the very same question he had for her?
He considered simply waiting outside, just in case they finished early, but then he figured Moira might think he was weird if she saw him. Remus returned to the Tower where James and Peter were playing chess and Sirius was doing homework from his Arithmancy book.
"Be gone, evil Arithmancy," Sirius cried, slamming the book closed and sliding it across the table. "I hereby banish you into oblivion."
James glanced over.
"It's still there, Sirius."
"I know," Sirius sighed heavily. "I need that book. Dad said that if I banish another one, he won't replace it."
"Hmm, imagine that."
"Hey, Remus. What's up?"
"Not much," he answered, sitting across the table from Sirius and pushing the book back to him.
"Have you talked to Moira yet? She was looking for you earlier."
"Yeah, but she was on her way to her study group. Do you know what she wants?"
"Something about the dance, I think. I saw her and Lana giggling together just before she asked for you."
The dance. Remus' heart leapt. She was going to ask him. He hardly listened as they made plans for the following night. As much fun as exploring the school grounds every full moon was, Remus was too excited about the prospect of talking to Moira later that night.
Remus left early, wanting to be sure he did not miss her. He leaned against the wall, trying to appear calm and cool when she exited the library. When the door opened, she was talking to Severus Snape, a Slytherin with whom Remus didn't really get along, about theories of counter-curse development.
"There has to be a balance," she was saying. "For every curse, there is a counter-curse. Like ying and yang. We just have to find it."
"Generally, I would agree with you, Moira. But it's just not true in this case. There is no counter-curse for Avada Kedavra. It debunks your theory."
"It doesn't debunk it. It's just an exception. Death itself, when it's total, is irreversible. It's the effect, not the curse that is irreversible."
"They're the same thing."
"Not if Hansem's theory is correct."
"It's not."
"It is. Think about it. It's possible that in that split second before the curse takes hold, before it takes a life, that a counter-curse can be used to ward off total death. It might destroy the mind but not the body, or vice versa. Then, you just have to find a way to bring the two together again."
"But once it's destroyed, the effect is irreversible. You yourself made that statement."
"Well, I haven't exactly worked out all the kinks, but-"
"Lupin." A look of contempt crossed Snape's face for just a moment.
"Snape."
Snape looked over at Moira.
"Excuse me, Moira. I will see you in class tomorrow."
Remus watched him as Snape continued down the hallway, leaving Moira and Remus together.
"Boy, he's all personality, isn't he?" Remus kidded.
"Oh, stop," Moira replied, pushing him playfully. "Severus is really quite brilliant, and you would know that if you spent a little less time simply making fun of him."
"So," Remus said, in an attempt to change the subject. He certainly didn't want to talk about Snape now. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. The dance. Do you have a date yet?"
"No. Why?" He couldn't resist the smile that spread across his lips.
"Well, because if you weren't going with anyone yet, I thought-"
He didn't even hear what she was saying. She was asking him. She was really asking him!
"Yeah, I think it'll be fun," he answered.
"Great! I'll tell Lana. She was so nervous you'd say no."
"Lana?"
"And you guys can hang out with James and Lily and Sirius and me."
"Sirius?" He stopped in the middle of the hallway, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Wait, you're going with Sirius? I thought you couldn't stand him!" Panic was rising in him. What was she saying?
"Oh, come on, Remus. He's grown up since then. And we've gotten along really well this year."
"But it's Sirius!"
"So? Gods, Remus, he's your best friend. I thought you'd be happy we were finally getting along."
Getting along? Getting along? Getting along is being relatively nice to each other. It's not going to the dance together. He was supposed to go to the dance with Moira, not Sirius! What was happening?
"You alright, Remus? You look pale."
"Huh?" He didn't even realize she was still there. "Yeah. No. Look, I'm going to go to the Hospital Wing. Okay?"
"Okay," she answered, watching him curiously as he turned sharply and headed in the opposite direction. Remus' path took him outside into the biting wind. He hadn't brought his cloak with him. He hadn't planned on being outside. He hadn't planned on a lot of things.
Remus turned up the collar of his shirt and wrapped his arms around himself, glad he was at least wearing a sweater over his thin dress shirt. At first, he headed for the Whomping Willow, then turned toward the Quidditch Field. If the guys came looking for him, they would automatically check the shack first. He didn't want to be found right away.
He crossed the field, the frosted grass crunching under his feet, all the while, wondering what had happened. How could she go to the dance with Sirius? How could Sirius ask her? What kind of friend was he? Remus became more and more angry as he paced in the bitter cold. He had even forgotten that he had no cloak. He had forgotten where he was until he heard a voice from near the goal posts.
"You were going to ask her to the dance, weren't you?"
Remus spun around and saw James' head floating in the darkness. He was wearing his invisibility cloak.
"What are you doing here, James?"
"Moira said you were sick and went to the Hospital Wing. I came to check up on you."
"This isn't the Hospital Wing."
James glanced around.
"Yeah, I noticed that. But this is where I usually come when I have to think things out. I took a chance that you didn't want to be found in your usual spot." He stepped closer to his friend. "But you never answered my question. You wanted to ask Moira to the dance, didn't you?"
"What difference does it make? She's going with Sirius."
"Yeah, I heard. And after you told him you were going to ask Moira," James replied, shaking his head.
"I never told him."
"Really? You did tell him that you like her though, right?"
"No."
James tipped his head, feigning a perplexed look.
"So how was he supposed to know? He never took Divination, Remus. And he can't read your mind."
"Are you on his side on this?"
"Side? Remus, there are no sides. He didn't plot against you. He didn't go behind your back. You didn't tell any of us how you felt."
"You figured it out."
"About twenty minutes ago when Moira came back without you."
Remus sat down in the stiff grass.
"What am I going to do, James?"
"You're going to go to the dance. With Lana. You're going to continue being friends with both of them. And you're going to keep reminding yourself that they are not doing this to hurt you, because they don't know what you're feeling."
Remus sat silently, thinking over what James had said. It was sound advice. This wasn't anyone's fault. He had no real reason to be mad at them. He could just be mad at the circumstance.
"Alright, I'll go to the dance." He stood up, wiping at the wet spot that had soaked through the back of his jeans. "Besides, they're probably just going as friends, right? I mean, it's not like they're going out, or anything."
"Come on. Let's get back inside."
Remus nodded, not realizing that James had not reassured him that they were just friends. Somehow, James could not bring himself to hurt Remus anymore by sharing his own suspicions.
Unfortunately, Remus saw firsthand what James suspected when, during the dance, he saw Sirius kiss Moira. Remus was paralyzed by the sight of it. James laid his hand on his friends shoulder.
"You okay, Moony?"
"Okay?" He glanced over at James' concerned face. "Yeah. I'm okay," he lied.
"You're sure?"
Remus forced a smile.
"Yeah. It's not like I didn't know this was coming." He started to walk back to the table where Lana and Lily were waiting for them to bring punch. "Hey James?"
"Yeah?"
"Promise me they'll never know."
"Not from me, they won't."