Tamashii no Unmei
by Sageseeker777
Author's Notes:
Man, posting that note made me feel guilty. So I put all the effort I possibly could into this thing, and in just *two* days I got it to twice normal length. Screw English, screw Science! I'm smart enough, dammit!! *chants* Blessed be my DBZ... Hey- it rhymes. Don't blame me for this senselessness, though. It's one in the morning(One in the damnable morning and on a school night!! *growls* :) No no no, BIG smile! :D Yeah, that's the ticket! Hey, where's your nose off to? :-D Oh lookie! Joy! Garblefunk on your Belgium! I swear! Mmm... Belgium...
Else: If you ask me questions in a review, please include your email or send the q in a mail. Ya know, if I have your addy you can be mailed when I post the newest chapter too;)
Chapter Five
Inspiration comes from within, they say.
Inspiration comes from others, they whisper.
Inspiration comes and goes, they exult.
But I know what inspiration is.
When you can stop, and find that moment where
nothing else speaks to you,
then the voice can bring its secrets to light.
Perhaps you can listen as well.
-"Touch"
Author Unknown
I hold this to be the highest task of a bond between two people:
that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other.
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Love needs no words,
Love makes you smile,
Love is all there is,
Forever I'll love you,
If you will love me,
Till forever and a day.
-Unknown
(Chain letter)
"This is weird."
A fact.
"Yes."
An honest answer.
"Hm."
Curiosity.
"Are you okay?"
Concern.
"Yeah, just thinking."
They continued down the hall away from the first class of the day.
"First period wasn't very fun," Gohan yawned, covering his gaping mouth with a hand.
"I almost fell asleep three times."
"Good thing I was there to wake you up."
"Don't you dare smile, those paper footballs hurt."
"Really?"
"Even if they didn't, that wasn't very nice."
"I needed to work on my aim."
"Seemed dead-on to me. Stop smirking. I swear, how do you do it? It's like this little half-smile that isn't a smile. Stop it. You're pissing me off."
A feeble attempt to hide it. "Sorry."
"Now you're laughing. What's so funny?"
"Hiding my smirk."
"There. That's an honest smile. I like that one."
"I aim to please." Gohan mock-bowed.
"Where's your second period again?"
"Three-oh-one. Are you following me, or are you just going in the same direction?"
"That's odd."
"What?"
"That's my second period, too."
"So, what's the probability of two students of the same age, having advanced to the same above-average grade level, having the same first and second period?"
"Not bloody likely."
"I like your accent."
"Thank you. I don't practice it much."
"Who's your third-period teacher?"
"Gutin."
"This is... wierd. Maybe we have the same birthdays, too."
Videl got a daring look in her eye. "October eighteenth."
"Twenty-first."
Eyebrows raised.
"Fourth period?"
"I want to be surprised."
"I don't like surprises much."
"Neither do I. But it's even worse when surprises are spoiled."
"I guess. I don't get many surprises. Are you talking about good surprises or bad surprises?"
Videl took her eyes from the floor tiles to look at Gohan's face. He was already looking at her.
"'Expect the worst, hope for the best'," Videl quoted, still staring into his eyes.
"'I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist', eh?"
Looking around, Videl decided to change the subject. "Where is this room?"
"The three hundred hallway I would guess."
"I can't remember too well."
"Right around this corner."
"Hm."
"It might be my fault, but you being sad is making me sad."
"I'm not sad."
"It's a generalization for negative emotion."
"Why do you think I'm sad?"
"Intuition. No, it was the look in your eyes for a moment there."
"Oh. Well..."
"I'm sorry?"
"It's nothing you did."
"Touchy subject, surprises."
"No, just that it made me think about my dad."
"Ick. My father's my soft spot, too."
Words weren't needed to cut the conversation off at that point.
After third period they finally got to talk again, on the way to lunch.
Videl was glad to be out of the classroom. "She was like a hawk."
"I don't think that guy cares about his students. So which was worse, second or third?"
"I wonder if we'll get a good teacher."
"Do you want to eat lunch together?"
"Why wouldn't I? Bu-" at this point they had reached the lunch room, but one in a gaggle of girls suddenly grabbed Videl out of the crowd and started talking in a loud voice.
"C'mon Vi, I haven't seen you for two years! Oh my gawd!! This is so amazing, but I don't have any classes with you though, so I want you to meet all of my cool friends!" The girl must've been off her ritilin.
Gohan could only stare as Videl, to her horror, was being dragged to the left lunch line. He smiled and she glared back. Except that a minute later the entire room was swarmed as everyone who was in 'A' lunch made it to the cafeteria. Gohan got stuck next to two guys who included him in their conversation even though he honestly had no idea what they were talking about. One of those music groups everyone seemed to be obsessed with. Or maybe some sport.
They were already sitting when Gohan realized that one of those guys, who Gohan vaguely recalled as being 'Jim', was doing his best to get Gohan's attention.
"Whoa, man, have you been listening at all? That's like, what, twenty minutes? It's lunch, man. You don't need to focus so hard. You might get a brain tumor or something."
"Hello?"
"What's he staring so hard at?" The other guy tried to look from Gohan's angle. He found himself staring at a girl in a corner who looked to be surrounded by friends. He recognized her instantly.
"Videl Satan? Satan, man? She's, like, untouchable, man. Way out prude, man. Why are you obsessing?"
This snapped Gohan out of it. "Satan?"
"You know, father's the savior of the world and all that," the other guy said sarcastically. His huge forehead and long blonde hair gave the impression of sheer arrogance. A good impression.
"Satan?" Gohan repeated.
"Where have you been? Last year she was, like, so hot on the first day that a bunch of my pals tried to ask her to go somewhere. Some guy beat them up for our troubles. We figured it must be her bodyguard, so no one messed with her. I tried asking her on a date like three times, but each time she blew me off like I was a piece of trash. One day, though. One day... Maybe if I ask her again this year, she'll have realized how much she wants me." Jim's friend kept going on and on and on.
For the first time, Gohan really looked at these two clowns and the guys clustered around them. He could still see the mark where his fist had changed the direction Jim's nose bent. Not the best in choices for friends. How did they meet? How did this guy know him? They looked like body-builders or something in muscle-shirts that showed off their arms. Both were Gohan's age, and probably looked down on him because of his lanky frame.
It didn't matter what they thought, really, about him or Videl. Gohan wouldn't sit with them tomorrow. There was a chance that Videl wouldn't want to sit with those uber-kewl 'friends' of hers.
He'd noticed that she wasn't really paying any attention to the blonde blabbing away at her. Just nodding, and occasionally flashing a smile. Gohan decided he might as well get her out of it if he wanted some intelligent conversation for the rest of lunch. In the middle of Jim's sentence Gohan stood and walked away, throwing his trash in the bin and slowly approaching Videl's table. Unbeknownst to the half-saiyan, Jim and Sharpner were staring open-mouthed at him as he did what they held to be the impossible.
Videl had her back to him so her only warning was the sudden whispers surrounding her. "Hottie alert!" "But he looks like a geek." "Incoming babe!" "He walks like an athlete!" "Oh my god, he is so cute!!"
"Videl?" Gohan leaned against the table between Videl and the girl next to her, casting his shadow over the black-haired beauty. She looked up from the last bite of her sub (hero, hoagie, whatever it pleases you to call it) and was happy to see Gohan ready to save her from the drudgery of all this girl talk. Not that she had anything against it, just that she was usually deeper than most. Just an eensy weensy bit.
Videl's smile turned into the smirk she disliked so much on Gohan's face. Eventually, Gohan would find out that was bad sign. "Oh, hi Gohan! I know we have to go, but I so want you to meet my awesome friends! This is-" And she talked and talked until every girl in the group was whispering about Gohan.
On the way to fourth hour, "I can't belive you did that to me."
"Oh my gawd!! You mean you didn't have any fun? I thought it was a riot."
"Ick. Want to sit together tomorrow?"
"Surely."
"Were they normal? That clique, I mean."
"No, they were airheads."
Gohan rolled his eyes, then became serious. "What's 'normal' like?"
"Scary."
"Probably."
"Just imagine- no. That's not very fair to the normals, is it?"
"I'm glad I'm not normal."
"Me too."
After a few seconds of silence, "Where do you want to go?"
"How about the library? My stock of books is running low again."
"You read a lot?"
"I wonder if I should reply with a sarcastic comment."
"You read a lot."
"Yeah."
"Me too."
"What do you read?"
The conversation soon turned into a discussion of some fantasy series they had both just read, but the topic kept flying in different directions. It ended with empiricism as they sat down in their fourth period class. Language.
"I hate her."
"Hate is such a strong word... I loathe her in her ignorance."
"Why is it inevitable that people who honestly know how to read and write-"
"Without too much effort," Gohan interjected.
"-because they care at all about writing, always come in conflict with the teacher? Can't anyone accept that every established language has so many forms..."
"No. There has to be a right way and a wrong way."
Videl hmph'd.
Soon the setting changed to fifth period.
"First, second, third, fourth, and now fifth? This is our second elective together."
"Shh, he's looking."
The teacher paused in his monologue in an attempt to catch everyone who wasn't paying attention, to punish them with some embarrassing thing they shouldn't be able to solve. Of course, the majority of the class was asleep behind their textbooks, and no one left over could stand listening for very long.
"That makes two who can't hold anyone's attention."
"And two that have eyes like eagles."
"Plus fourth, who cares about her students less than any of the others so far."
"Hm."
"It's gonna be like this the whole year."
"This isn't good."
"No."
The minutes dragged by. It was torturous. Cruel and inhumane. Even reading the textbook couldn't make it go by any faster. But it did end, as all things are expected to.
The silence between Gohan and Videl on the walk to their last period spoke of comfortable relief. Once they reached room eight-oh-two, they stopped. Lots of people were around them and streaming out the door. In each other's eyes they saw weariness. This day wasn't worth the time spent on it, and repetition was the only thing to be looked forward to.
Sixth period was loud. It was one of those required courses that second-year students had to take, and the students around them were people who Gohan was supposed to be able to relate to. He couldn't talk with Videl because a swarm of the girls from lunch had surrounded her again. He sighed, and just felt glad that she didn't drag him into it. Sorry for her, though. It was too nice of her to spend time with them.
The teacher walked in and sat down at her desk on the floor of the room. Like almost every other classroom, this one sloped up so that the teacher had a view of every student.
She began yelling out names for attendance, receiving a response for each out of a storm of sound. It seemed impossible, sometimes. Gohan put his head down. He just wanted the day to be done with.
Work was put on the board, some reading from the textbooks that were in every desk and a few questions. Other than that, more conversation.
Gohan was half-asleep, fifteen minutes before the final bell, when the girl to his left turned to him and started talking. Amazing how she could talk. She never seemed to breathe. When Gohan turned his attention to the actual words coming out of her mouth, he realized that she was the one who had first recognized Videl. E-something. Her name started with an 'E' Gohan was sure.
If she knew Videl from, what, two years before? That was eighth grade, right? Had she advanced like Videl? No, couldn't be. She had to be in tenth grade then.
'Smile and nod' was all Gohan could remember to do. Looking past the girl, he found an unmolested Videl staring at him silently. Gohan tried to plead with his eyes, but was sure it only made Videl's smile grow.
"You made a new friend."
"Sure did!" Gohan sounded tired, though he tried to pump sarcasm into his words.
"Her name is Erasa."
"How long did you know her?"
"Something like three years."
"Where did you go to school before?"
"It was an all-girls school. What about you, Mr. asocialite?"
"Home-schooling."
"Really?" she was almost incredulous. "Makes sense, though."
"Yeah. Way too much work, though."
"You survived, at least. Sort of."
That made him laugh. "'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'?"
"Can I come to your house?"
"I live in an apartment."
"I thought you said your family lives outside the city."
"I live alone."
That made Videl look down at the sidewalk. "Me too."
Gohan empathized. He said nothing. With her father who he was, she must be swarmed by people, all who wouldn't care an ounce. Loneliness in a crowd is a horrible feeling.
"Actually..."
"What?"
"Can I go over your house tomorrow? I-"
"Of course. Can I walk you home then?"
Videl blinked. "Of course. I guess, if we're going to be such great friends and all, we should know where the each other lives."
"Who said we were friends?" Gohan said in a joking voice with a smile and his face all scrunched up in a tough-guy act. He shouldn't have, though. It was a little... disconcerting. On seeing her eyes he put a hand on her arm in alarm. His own eyes had gone wide with worry. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"For what," Videl croaked.
Gohan blinked back some dust that had gotten in his eye and formed some words. "I shouldn't have joked... I forget how important words are sometimes."
Both recognized their pain in the other. Extending a hand, the sheepish warrior said, "Hi, I'm Gohan. Will you be my friend?"
Videl looked up with a tiny smile. That was almost scary. It shouldn't have been important. But there was something about this guy that was different. Right. Familiar somehow... And on the inside she was scared of losing that.
"Well hello. I'm Videl," she said and shook his hand with a laugh. There was still dark in her eyes, but memories sometimes did that. Gohan was sure his own eyes had the same look. He wished he could take back what he had said, even if it was only in jest.
He wanted to hug her. To hold her. He felt like crying because she was so obviously hurt and he couldn't do anything about it. Because she hadn't even realized that he was 'that guy with the golden hair'. Although, Gohan didn't know that she was certain that 'that guy' had black hair.
Feelings seemed to gloss over when she led him down the street he normally took and surprised him. He commented about this, asking why he never saw her. She told him that there had been a little trouble at the beginning of last year, and she had deigned to take a different route. Now she figured it would be all right.
Gohan wasn't really amazed at all by her mansion, but the fact that she felt all alone in a place like that...
"Gohan, quick!" Videl grabbed his arm and pulled him down a sidestreet with a force and speed that would have broken the wrists of lesser men. However, that wouldn't be remembered until later.
"What is it?" He was just a tad worried why she would suddenly run like that.
Peeking around the corner she said, "My father is home."
"And?"
"Look." She seemed annoyed.
"Oh." The guy was surrounded by reporters. He would probably get Videl in the center of that mob, and that didn't look like fun.
Looking back at Videl, they sighed together. Then they both laughed.
"That offer to come to my place is still open..." In Gohan's mind that sounded a little perverted, but Videl didn't seem to hear it that way.
She looked out of the alley like she was looking at something in the distance. "I had wanted to go to the Briefs' compound-"
"Bulma's place?"
"You know her?"
"You could say that." The word 'Namek' flashed in Gohan's mind.
"Well I don't need to go today. It's just that I don't get to use this one machine they have that often anymore. I got this sudden urge to go there."
"Which machine?" Gohan was curious.
Videl almost got defensive, but said, "The gravity room." She seemed embarrassed, for a reason she didn't know herself.
Gohan didn't bat an eye, saying "My house is that way," he pointed.
Videl didn't leave room for a second thought. She gestured and said, "Lead on."
-*-
It suited him, Videl thought.
The plush carpet felt good under her feet as she lay next to the couch with her feet propped up.
The apartment was a reflection of its lone inhabitant.
Videl had been able to tell that Gohan was a little worried on the way over here, probably wondering if she would like it or would be bored or some stupid thing, but looking around for a second, the bookshelves had immediately struck her fancy. Strangely, most of the books were a perfect compliment to her own; all the books were ones she was missing from most of her favorite series. And he didn't have books that she knew she owned.
So here she was reading on the carpet while Gohan was typing up something. After the first three times he had asked if she wanted anything, Videl had practically bitten his head off. He'd smirked and shrugged in response, not saying a word since.
Walking over to him on her knees, she lied down so that she was flat on her back, but able to see both Gohan's face and the screen.
Videl could see that he was uncomfortable in that chair, but something else seemed to pull at the corners of his eyes. They were focused on the screen, on the words he was writing.
Videl saw that on one side was a list of works, stored on the Desk itself, while the other side was a window for a message board post. It was a poem, as opposed to the lengthy things that seemed to be on that list.
She ran it through her head again and again:
Lost never, never broken; Song so sweet, caught in the rapture of the light of your eyes;
Moonlight on your cheek; Love's call is like the tide's, yet I fight;
No strength is so great; How do I prevail?; Am I lost, am I
And that was what he had so far. Videl was moved. It made her think of her own stories, somehow. Just the way it seemed to cry out that undefinable emotion so like desperation and confusion, but not them at all. She didn't wonder who he was writing about, though. All of the art of writing was seeing yourself as the shell, looking out across the world under different spectrums of light, different perspectives.
And still Gohan worked, even as she stared at the way his brow creased ever-so-slightly as he typed the next word, then the next. One at a time, then it picked up speed, then it stopped. It was interesting to watch instead of actually writing, Videl thought.
Seeing that he probably wouldn't want to be disturbed, she retreated to his room. She still hadn't been in there and felt a curiosity about this silent poet.
What did she know about him? He was intelligent. He could be funny. He had been hurt. He was strong. She could only guess, but when he wasn't feeling self-conscious she noticed his power rising considerably. He would have had to master the technique to suppress your level in order to do that. So she guessed he knew something about fighting, too. Something was plaguing the back of her mind like a hive of bees, but she wasn't sure what it was. Something...
Looking around, she found that this room spoke more of being Gohan's than the rest of the apartment put together.
A world map on the wall, some framed pictures of starships that might have been hand drawings but were so good it was hard to tell. The bed was a little bit messy, as one would expect on the first day that a guy was required to wake early after two months. A desk with scraps of paper all over, pinned up, post-it notes stuck on the sides, each with something on it, scribbled unlegibly. Videl felt bad right after she did it, but found the top drawer of his desk filled with manilla folders, each holding works that read at top 'by Gohan Son'. The second held a bunch of materials; paper, graph paper, empty notebooks, construction paper. The third was all magazines, Newsweek, Time, Discover, and other stuff like that. Respectable stuff. Political magazines.
By the bed was a clock/radio with an LCD display that was large enough that it could be read a hundred feet away. Looking around again, Videl felt angry at herself, but also felt that she hadn't gotten what she'd come for. Not the books, probably his favorites, she'd passed by those. Not his poems and stories in his desk. Nothing like that. Just something about him that she wanted to know. It was disconcerting.
For all that, she just gave up. Videl lied down on Gohan's bed, as comfortable as her own. Probably moreso because it didn't bring to surface memories of the nightmares.
The ceiling caught her eye. The ceiling was strange. Warm. Videl felt as though she could do this for the rest of the day. Just laze away in thought.
She didn't notice time pass by swiftly, until twenty minutes later Gohan opened the door slowly, finding Videl staring up in the way that had become so familiar to him in the past year. It was odd, finding someone doing that where normally you would find yourself.
He padded in silently, even using a bit of levitation to sneak up on her from the left. Kneeling down so that he could put his elbows on the bed, he broke the silence with, "Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"
Videl jumped a foot in the air, then looked frantically over at him. "Please don't do that! I'm so used to knowing where people are around me..."
"Don't worry, I do that a lot, too. I like my ceiling."
"I like it, too."
Silence fell for a minute. Then, "What were you thinking about?"
"Nothing much..."
"C'mon."
"Strange things. Well, not really strange, just about life in general. The future. Tomorrow."
"It's a school day."
Videl gave him a look. "and friendship..." she finished.
The silence fell again.
"How was your poem?"
"Poem?"
"I read part of it."
"What did you think?"
"Beautiful. I don't write so much poetry, myself."
"Thank you. What do you write?"
"Short stories. Romance stuff."
"Another thing we have in common. This is really strange." He opened his top desk drawer and looked through the folders. His eyes lit when they saw the title of one and he handed it to her. "Read this tonight. Please."
She was reluctant, and felt bad that she had snuck around when he was so free about things, but took it. Videl had to remember the book she wanted to borrow, too, before she left.
"Wanna talk?"
"About what?"
"Give me a second... How about... Faith."
"Why faith?"
"I think it might be interesting."
"Okay. What is faith?"
"Faith is when... you trust in something without proof."
"That's why religions are called 'faiths'."
"Yeah."
"So what about faith?"
"What do you think of faith?"
"I think that it's an interesting concept. I have faith in love," her eyes met Gohan's for a second. "Faith in the soul. Faith in the fact that we do exist, that the proof of everything we don't take on faith really is proof. I guess."
"Why did you say 'I guess'?"
"To defend myself against my answer."
"Everyone does that too much. I do that too much."
"If you don't, then you're considered a know-it-all. Or a quack."
"Anyways, what if I said that faith is stronger than knowledge?"
"You? Don't you know too much to be allowed to say that?"
"Seriously."
"Okay, seriously... Hmm, how?"
Gohan yawned. "Faith can create."
"Faith is trust."
"Okay... I mean, if I imagine that there is a flame in my hand and I can see the flame, then does the flame exist?" He held his hand out to emphasize his point."
"That's just visualization."
"What if my hand begins to get warm? Logic says that it must be blood rushing to the capillaries in my hand, but why would they do that unless they believed that there was a reason for the heat? So I must be doing it myself. And that means that belief in the flame made my brain try to create the heat with blood and that faith can change something in my body that I don't have control of normally."
"That angle makes sense. But faith didn't create. It controlled."
"It caused."
"I suppose. Where did all this come from?"
"I dunno. Just occurred to me."
"Interesting. So if I have faith that I can, say, fly, then what about my suicidal jump from the seventh floor?"
Gohan smiled. "Wouldn't that just be evidence that you don't have enough faith?"
"Argh?"
"I concur."
Videl laid her head back down on the pillow.
"That was fun."
"Yes."
"I have faith that it was fun."
"What did I just prove?"
"Faith does stuff."
"It's nice to have someone to listen when I think."
"Beats talking to yourself. I do that myself. Now you have to promise to listen next time I get an idea in my head."
"I promise. You know what they say about talking to yourself, don't you?"
"'It's the first sign of insanity, yeah yeah."
"I guess we're both getting there."
"Doesn't everybody need to be a little insane? Isn't imagining a world defined by heroes and villains and a monarchy stretching the boundaries of the real? Any imagining, I mean. There would be no creation, no belief, nothing like that if we were all 'sane'."
"I think I know a guy who's a little bit sane."
"Sane?"
"Yeah, he has trouble acting human."
"Insanity feels good."
"Yup."
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I wish I could fly."
"Why can't you?"
"What?"
"Well, we just proved that not only are we both insane, but that you can do anything if you have faith. So why can't you fly?"
"Hm. Maybe not fly, literally. That would be nice, but I think I want to because I feel chained to my life."
"Your life is bad?"
"It feels like a pit sometimes."
"What brought this on?"
"I was thinking about promises."
"Do you believe in promises?"
"Do you?"
"I think that they should be kept forever, unless they aren't real or don't deserve to be kept."
"Like if someone's life was at stake?"
"I guess."
"What if only they can save themselves?"
"Then you have no responsibility, right?"
"Sometimes... It doesn't feel like it."
A silence filled the room. Gohan sat down in his corner chair, previously hidden by his dresser. It supported his head so that he didn't have worry about a stiff neck after leaning on his hand. Another minute passed before Gohan stood up and turned on the fan above his bed. Instantly the breeze filled the room like a strong wind. Papers on Gohan's desk fluttered around a bit, but not much.
"Why don't you just turn on the air conditioning? To save money?"
"No, I just like the feel of rushing air. Coldness isn't the point. It's a plus though."
Things got quiet again. Videl was feeling sleepy, so she closed her eyes.
"Videl?"
"Gohan?" Videl said tiredly. She had been used to those afternoon naps for too long.
"Can I ask you a personal question?" Gohan really didn't know what he would ask, but just wanted to talk about anything.
"Um... What kind of personal question?"
"Nothing perverted, I swear."
Before she said anything more, Videl looked up at the pillow that was hanging over her forehead. There was a black hair there. A single black hair. Suddenly, the thoughts that had been nagging her were dragged to the forefront of her conscious.
Ooh, Videl thought to herself, That was what had been screaming in the back of her mind. She grabbed for the hair.
"Y-yes." Shaky answer. Nervousness. Realization? False hope? Or just a blind assumption? Why him? Why not anyone with black hair?"
"Have you ever been in love?" Now this, a second after she just caught on to the fact that this guy could be who she had...
"Once." The golden-haired guy knew what she looked like without the pigtails, which were still in. Was it Gohan? Had he recognized her? They had connected so well. Were they meant for each other, no matter the form?
"Are you still in love?"
"Gohan..." she looked away from him, any direction but his eyes. Not now...
"Sorry." He looked away. "I don't know where that came from." Plus, he thought he already knew that. Well, there was reaffirmation. Unless it was some other guy... "I have an idea." His smile was bright. Gohan raised his hand so that the pinky was sticking out. "Promise me that we'll always be friends."
She looked up at him with large eyes. Gohan could see a lot in them. Fear. Trust? How can one human being trust another? Doubt. After only one day they were promising to be friends forever? What else could there be that was already there between them?. Wasn't there always pain when you got close to someone? Except in those very special cases, very true cases. Need. There was that, too...
Videl saw someone who she seemed to have an unspeakable, unknowable bond with. She decided to have faith in who it was who was asking her to pinky-promise something like this, the way little children did. If their hearts were going to touch ever, even if they never did, it would all start with this connection. A friendship. A true friend. No matter what love was or is or could be.
A second after she saw his hand, she locked her pinky around his and shook it. Her smile was of the kind that could make the cluster of a thousand stars at the center of the galaxy seem dark.
Rather sleepily, Gohan asked Videl, "Do you want to go home?"
Rather sleepily, Videl said to Gohan, "No. But it's already five something and I'm gonna fall asleep. I shouldn't fall asleep here."
"I guess not. Will your father be there?"
"No. I would bet he's at dinner with a bunch of his know-nothing ego-waxers. They get to say they trained under him, he gets to believe that he's on the level of a god. An object of worship, a-"
"Shush. You're tired enough to babble, so I think we should get you home. Good thing it isn't far away."
"Okay," Videl mumbled.
-*-
Bathtubs are great places to cleanse the body and the soul. Lose yourself in my bubbles, child, they cackle like an old crone out of a fairy tale. Gohan's mind easily turned from thoughts he didn't want to think, about how bad the classes themselves had turned out, lunch with those guys and then all of those girls. Videl's dad and his problems. His mind went to Videl.
She had just started talking, half-asleep, on the way there. "'Vi' Erasa had called me," she would say. "I hate when people tried to shorten her name. Plus, I hadn't been able to figure out what the conversation was about most of the time. And that one red-head kept acting so superior..." Stupid, miscellaneous memories.
Once they'd reached the mansion, Videl got the gate open and led Gohan to her part of the house as best she could. Honestly, she was awake, but unconscious. Videl hugged him, making some garbled noise that was probably 'thank you', then fell on her bed, dead asleep.
Boy, that was nice hug. Boy, what a beautiful girl. Boy, I'm head-over-heels, aren't I? Gohan sank into the bubbly, warm tub and let happiness flow over him.
That was a weird thought about faith. I hope we do that often. I hope she does it more often. We can understand each other. Even if it feels like a rant, we can be free when we talk. No worries about how they will take it, or how well they grasp it. Gohan's mind began to drift aimlessly, dancing around images of his new friend.
-*-
Videl woke with a start.
Three in the morning.
She stood up, feeling woozy for a few seconds, but her body adjusted quickly. Videl had good night-vision, too, so in just a second she noticed that Gohan had left his book and the folder on her dresser.
She went to the bathroom for a sip of water from the tap, then sat down on the floor in front of her bed. It had been a good day. She had made a new friend. Or maybe found an old one. Sort of.
Videl rested her head against her bed. She tried to doze a bit, but found that she was too awake for that. Her day was going to be thrown off, now. Exercise might help. Or it might not. Videl stood and grabbed Gohan's story, idly scanning the first page.
"Burning Stars by Gohan Son"
"'They are not small gold objects but endless fire.' Does anyone..."
It caught her up and she couldn't stop reading until the end, forty pages later. Even then, she wanted more. Gohan had written this. This was such a... delicate thing. Only words of course, but so specially chosen. Right after reading it she felt as though a single word less and the story might not have been as powerful as it was. Good stuff.
All of his writing that she had seen so far was good. Short burst of inspiration can lead to the best of places. What else could she say about it? How about, 'I want more'?
Videl lied down on her bed again. She was too into Gohan's story to focus on the book he'd lent her, so she tried to follow the thoughts that kept recurring in her mind. Memory snuck up on her and she dug into the pocket of her long-shorts. The hair was there. Bulma would do a DNA comparison for her, wouldn't she? And then she wouldn't have to worry about finding him again. What a thought. She thought she was far too excited to sleep, but as soon as her eyes closed, she was out like a light.
-*-
Surprisingly, the second day of school was better than the first. Gohan waited on his balcony until he saw Videl walking by, then hurried to catch up to her.
Almost every teacher was the same, but something was different about the whole situation, at least from Gohan and Videl's perspective. All the way through until lunch, they shared a single note whose topics ran from geology to a song Gohan's neighbor sang from her own balcony and he couldn't get out of his head.
Lunch was a fusion of the previous day. After Gohan and Videl sat down, the girly-girls flocked to their table, but on Gohan's side a bunch of guys sat, trying to figure out how he'd become friends with Videl. Casual conversation was a little too casual for Gohan, so he politely ignored most of the guys. Some were actually in a class or two of his, so they were better than most, but he was still bored during lunch. Videl wasn't able to get a word edgewise past the screaming horde. At least they were together, though. That meant a lot, even without words. Friends were hard assets to come by, ne?
English was way better, too. They had creative assignments that would take up two days, and they were allowed to choose their own partners. Everything was going smoothly. Fifth period didn't drag because Videl finally remembered to tell Gohan about his story, and they had a nice conversation on paper. Looking back one day, all those notes would be interesting to read.
After school, they ventured to Videl's house. Gohan felt awkward, but enough times of Videl telling him to relax calmed his nerves. He didn't know what it was, he was just feeling jumpy.
They talked and figured out a nice plotline for a story, thought about some 'what if' questions. Stuff like that. It was fun to talk about nothing. Before they knew it, hours and hours had passed. Gohan walked home with a bounce in his step. A bounce? No, he was just content. Happy.
Time passed. Depending on your perspective, a month was a small amount of time or a lot of time. Gohan and Videl barely noticed it, just found that all of the creative things they did seemed better and all of the books they read got more interesting when there was someone to talk to about everything. The duo even went to a few of the football games together, and started to enjoy 'school spirit' as something more than a nuisance.
Sharpner made a go at Videl when he got desperate, and Videl laughed in his face. The guy looked like he was ready to kill. But Videl shrugged it off, unworried when she knew that both golden-boy and herself could deal with it together.
That afternoon, Videl had gone to Bulma's place and decided to drop by Gohan's instead of going home. When she opened the door she found Gohan's wide-eyed stare and a hand movement so fast she almost missed it, minimizing whatever he had been doing on the computer.
"Gohan? What were you doing?" Videl laced her voice with honey.
"Um... nothing?" Gohan gulped.
"No, Gohan, I don't think that's the correct answer." She sat down in her chair and stared into his eyes with a smile on her face. One of the evil ones.
"Okay, how about," his face slowly grew a grin, "your birthday present?"
"Hey! You're no fun! I thought maybe you were looking at pornography or something perverted like that... Then I'd get to yell or something. At least make you blush. You look funny when you're embarrassed." She faked a sad expression and got up to get a drink. She called from the kitchen, "What are you doing for my birthday?" She was rather pleased. No one had really celebrated her birthday in years. Ick. Sad thoughts.
"What? You have a birthday coming up? When is it?"
"Gohan!" Videl walked back in as he minimized the window again. She was able to catch that it was a document, though.
"Argh. Okay, I'll give up."
"Good."
"Do you want to meet my father?"
"What?"
"You heard."
"Sorry, caught off guard. Why?" He waved his arm in a futile effort to gesticulate his confusion.
"I don't know. But he's going to be home for a few days and I was just wondering. Could you believe that some guys would kill for the opportunity? I hate it. But it just occurred to me."
"Nah. No point. If he's as bad as you say he is, then I don't see any point." Mentally, Gohan was imagining Mr. Satan from the Cell Games, only worse. Not a pretty picture. It surprised Gohan, however, that he was so easy to recall all that.
Maybe because he'd realized it was too easy, Gohan was forced to squeeze his eyes shut to prevent a tear from falling.
Videl noticed though, and put a hand on his shoulder.
'What's wrong?' went the unspoken question.
"Just a stray thought. Don't worry."
"Stray thought?"
He shook his head in a gesture that said 'end it'.
"Gohan." Her eyes got a steely glint.
He gritted his teeth. He didn't know how to respond. Instinct said to lash out, wisdom said to blow it off, but he decided to take secret option number three: Tell the truth.
"Just remembering my dad."
"How'd you get there?"
"Uh..." Ooh, corner. If he said Cell Games, she might...
"Videl, why don't you wear your hair down at school?"
"Habit."
"Even though you know it's prettier down?"
She almost blushed, but she was concerned about Gohan. "Where is this leading?"
"I just had a memory... And if I hadn't realized how easy I can think about it, I wouldn't have gotten emotional at all. That's it." He thought that was the end.
"That's called 'survivor guilt'. You think that you deserve the pain, so when it disappears you feel hurt. What happened to your father?"
"I... Can we talk about this some other time? Please. Eventually I can deal with it, but it's been bottled up for five and a half years."
"The better to get it out now."
His eyes were silently pleading. "Videl..."
"You'll feel better, though. Okay, how about a little at a time?"
Gohan wasn't sure how she'd want to do that, but he nodded his head in agreement. "Okay. But what about you?"
"I'm not hurting anymore am I?" She flinched mentally. A little guilt on her part too, it seemed.
He looked sullen. "At least tell me?"
She looked into his eyes and saw that he just wanted to help. It would be good for her. "I promise. But right now, you."
"What do you mean by 'a little at a time'?"
"You tell me whatever you want today. Or you talk about your dad or something. Then whenever it comes up you tell me a little more. Is that okay?"
"Yeah... Well, he died. But it was in a fight. And he died because I didn't act. I could have done something before and- Do I have to do this?" He was getting butterflies in his stomach. Felt like impatience. "I just don't see the point and-"
"You see the point. I know you do, but don't worry. That's it. Stop. Okay?"
"Yeah. Even that much made me feel... weird. Not good."
"Mm." They both looked down for a minute.
Taking a deep breath, Videl said, "Well what do you want to talk about today?"
"I... don't really want to talk. I don't think I can write, either."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"It probably is."
"Read?"
"Yeah. Did you get number seven?"
"Last night."
"Good."
The rest of the day was spent in comfortable silence in Gohan's room. That night, Gohan thought he might wallow in memories but instead found himself focused on Videl like most nights. Thinking to himself, he realized that if he ever told anyone that they would assume it was a sexual thing or something. Society was so... Well, he just found himself staring at his ceiling, struck by the thought that she had wanted to take away his pain. There was something about that. Something.
And hour later he hadn't found anything new. Only the fact that he was getting to know her more deeply than ever. It might stem from the fact that spent more time together than some couples. Many already considered them an item, but the topic had never come up between the duo.
Gohan wondered when it would. When would he be able to tell her he loved her, tell her everything. Teach her how to fly. He couldn't, not yet. It just hadn't reached that... level? Plateau? When would it, though? When could he feel comfortable introducing her to his deepest self? How about when she feels comfortable? Honestly, she was the kind of person who would do what they set out to do once they set out to do it. Hands down.
Eventually...
-*-
"Happy Birthday," Gohan whispered across the table.
The room was dark, lit only by the candles of the homemade birthday cake announcing Videl's sweet sixteen.
She was tearing up. "Gohan," she squeaked, "this is too much. All day, and then this." Her lower lip was quivering. "Gohan, do you know how long it's been..."
"I understand." Gohan stared into the flame.
"'Thank you' isn't enough."
Gohan smiled joyfully. "It's all I want. Blow out the candles, c'mon. No, wait." He began to sing happy birthday in a quiet voice. "Happy Birthday," he repeated.
Videl blew out all the candles, bathing the room in darkness. She was glad for this, because her tears had just started to flow.
"I think I overdid the dramatic moments."
"No, they were perfect."
"I'd bow, but I don't want a face full of cake."
"That might be fun..." Videl smiled through the salty rivers. She got the hiccups and they both laughed tiny laughs.
"I'll get the lights."
With a snap Gohan's kitchen appeared. Hercule Satan would have probably thrown his biggest party yet if he had realized that it was Videl's sixteenth birthday, but instead he had done some huge thing to embarrass himself. Nothing important, since in the face of those who know better he tends to always act like an idiot.
After each had a slice of cake, Gohan abruptly left the room. Videl stared after him until he reappeared with something wrapped in red tissue paper. It was about an inch or so thick, so Videl was guessing it was a box.
To her surprise, it was a story. One hundred fifty pages printed on this beautiful paper bound by a waterproof covering. It was like an amateur publishing of a book, only with so much effort put into the single copy. She loved it. "Gohan..."
"Hm?"
"How long did it take?"
"Two months."
She was incredulous. "That long? Usually, you-"
"It's the best thing I've ever written." He blushed more than a little, and stared at the floor.
"How do you know that?"
"Because, I wrote it for someone," he said quietly, "I wrote it for you."
Videl couldn't say anything. She stood and so did he. Videl stepped up to him and hugged him close, still not talking. She lay her head on his shoulder and they just stood there like that for what seemed to be forever. Best friends, secret loves, hidden in each was the hopes and dreams and thoughts of the other.
"I guess I have to go," Videl whispered.
"Yeah..."
"I'll read it tonight. I promise."
Gohan didn't reply.
"Thank you."
He hugged her tighter for a moment, then broke the embrace. Videl looked up at him and smiled, not one of the blot-out-the-sun ones, more like a lover's farewell under the porchlight, a single slow blink as their eyes met, and a sigh. She didn't turn away as she stepped into the hallway, but a moment later she was vanished from his home.
"We're gonna party! Par-tee!! Wooo!" Gohan was embarrassed of the way Videl was carrying on beside him. She was going crazy. It wasn't like her usual self at all.
They were walking to Gohan's apartment on this lazy Sunday afternoon from the grand public library on the other side of the city. It had been a beautiful day so far, and all that was missing was the smile on Gohan's face. His cheeks were flushed because of the hyperactive girl twirling beside him on the sidewalk.
He smiled at himself. He needed to loosen up. All this uptightness felt like a costume anyways. "Woohoo," he said halfheartedly.
Videl stopped in her excitement to give Gohan a sincere smile. When their eyes met, Gohan felt his spine tingle. Today was his birthday! Joy! Maybe he'd talk to his mother today. He hadn't called in months, and she'd always called when he was away.
Everything was wonderful today!
When they got home, and really Videl spent enough time there to call it home too, Videl set up some speakers she'd bought in the top corner of every wall and blasted music through the whole place. She was even singing along- louder than the music, too!
As Videl decorated, Gohan put the cake in the oven and started on dinner. When everything was set in the kitchen, he went to help Videl. She was mostly done, but she decided to lower the music a bit so they could talk.
"You know what Gohan?"
"What?"
"The one thing that was missing on my birthday-"
"Yeah?"
"Color! I love color! I know it might have ruined your dramatic effect, but still."
"Humph." Gohan smiled.
"Well, I'm gonna go back to rowdy singing and stuff. It's fun! You want to play chess before dinner? I've been practicing on the web."
"I think I'm still going to win."
"Ha! We'll see about that! What else do you want to do, though?"
"I don't know."
"Improvisation, like my day?"
"I guess."
"Oh, and about your present..."
"Yes?"
"Don't worry about it bringing you to tears. Have I told you how much I love your story?"
"Only a gazillion times..." Gohan shook his head. "You've never talked about any one book this much. It's annoying."
"You don't believe me Gohan, but I swear it was the best piece of literature I've ever read!"
He let a frustrated sigh escape through his teeth.
Videl caught the look in his eye and was thoroughly annoyed by it. She stopped her jolly decorating to walk right up next to him at her full height, look him straight in the eye and whisper, "Dammit, you really are dense. If I say something a million times it's probably the truth. Don't you know me?" She turned on her heel and began to decorate again, all signs of annoyance gone from her visage. She was even humming.
"Well, sorry," Gohan whispered. She might have heard him, or seen his lips moving, but she didn't say anything more. He threw himself down on the couch and watched her. It was poetry in motion, the way her hips swayed slightly to the music, the way her voice carried and fell on his ears ever-so-sweetly. Gohan sighed and turned on his back to stare at the ceiling.
Videl knew what he was feeling. So why didn't she-
"C'mon Gohan!!" She whistled. "Here, boy! Get over here!" Grabbing his arm, she pulled him up off the couch to stand next to her. "Now listen. This is your," she emphasized her words by poking him in the chest, "your birthday. It's no time to get depressed. So you my friend, are going to sing!" Out of the blue Videl was in hyper mode again, sugar-high time. "WOOOOOOO!" Videl pulled Gohan into a spin with her. On the way around she hit a button on the Desk that changed the song and shot the volume up a notch. And that was saying something. Really saying something.
It was from an old anime movie. Laughing, Videl got Gohan to start singing with her in an intentional off-key voice. Of course, this happens to most people when they can't hear themselves singing over their music.
"You can't be a hero hiding underneath your bed, got to live the life you create inside your head! So I opened the window, caught the wind one night, now I sail with the birds in their flight!!"
It was amazing and incredible, and a whirl of color. The duo began dancing around the room at speeds they shouldn't have. Ouchies. With the bass turned up the way it was, the whole thing was a lot of fun. It lifted their moods like kites, and set the bar for the rest of the day.
In the middle of it all, though, a face popped up on the Desk. After a moment or two, it became a surprised face, then an amused face, then two smiling faces. As Gohan and Videl passed by, a look of utter mortification passed over Gohan's face. Probably turned a different color too.
Videl raised an eyebrow in query, but looking in the direction his eyes were pointing, she found the two smiling faces. Videl waved excitedly and quickly turned down the music.
Laughing, Videl dragged the statuesque Gohan over and said, "You must be Mrs. Son! I'm Videl Satan!" Proudly she stated, "I'm Gohan's best friend." Her eyes twinkled.
Chi-chi and Goten blinked, then their smiles grew. "Hello Videl. My name is Chi-chi. This is Gohan's brother Goten."
"Hiya!" He looked so cute! Videl wanted to pinch his cheeks or something. What a strange emotion...
Videl elbowed Gohan and whispered out of the corner of her mouth, "Dumkopf! Psst!"
"Oh, uh, hi mom!" Gohan absently scratched the back of his head and laughed. "Um... How are you guys doing?"
"You never called me back! You don't have time for your family anymore, Mr. Sixteen-year-old?"
"Uh, um... Sorry? I just... get sidetracked."
"Gohan!"
"Mom?"
"Happy Birthday."
"Happy Birthday big brother!"
Videl smiled. Gohan managed a grin. Chi-chi was happy that Gohan had found a girl. She'd been worried that he'd be too shy.
After a ten-second silence, Gohan said, "Anything else, mom? Anything new with you guys?"
"Nope. How's school?"
"Boring. Something cool happened, though. Videl and me have all the same classes."
This surprised Chi-chi. "Really?" She looked at Videl again and her opinion of the girl grew. "Well, sweetie, I'll call again soon. But first..." After the two on the line started singing 'Happy Birthday' Videl joined in, even hitting the music for the song up with the press of a button. When it was over, Gohan said goodbye again and the link closed.
"That was nice."
"My family is full of nice people."
"I'd have to agree." Her smile grew when she realized her position. A flick of the wrist turned on some romantic tune, and she slipped her arms around Gohan's neck. Although a little surprised, Gohan put his hands on Videl's waist and they stayed like this for a few minutes.
Eventually they broke apart. Without a word, both went back to what they were doing earlier.
After an hour or so, a few games, stuff to pass the time, the food was ready. Gohan had fixed everything up, and it was great. Topped off by a fresh salad and homemade dressing of vinegar, oil, a few herbs...
Leaning back in their chairs, the two were stuffed. Accommodating appetites like their own was hard work, but it could be done. And this was done majestically.
"A masterpiece."
"Urgh."
"I'm stuffed."
"Me too."
"But it's a comfortable stuffed."
"Yeah."
"I'm tired, too... Too much jumping around I guess." Videl yawned. "And I still have to give you your present." With heavy eyelids she motioned for Gohan to stay seated. "I'll get it."
Gohan waited a few minutes, but she still didn't show. He cleared off the table, in the hopes that she just needed time. After he took the cake out of the oven, he shut the kitchen lights and went into the brightly lit and colorful living room. Videl was asleep on the couch. She was at an odd angle, like she had just picked something up off the floor. Indeed, the bag she had brought today was there between her feet.
In her left hand, barely held, was a teddy bear. Gohan's mind flashed back to one instance when they had gone to a mall.
"Oh, Gohan, look."
"Hm?"
"What a cute little teddy bear!"
He'd given a tiny smile. "It's nice."
Videl looked up at him wistfully. "You know what they say about teddy bears, don't you?"
"I might've heard it somewhere... But, no, what do they say about teddy bears?"
"They say that if you give one to the person you love and they name it after you, then they will love you forever."
Gohan subconsciously moved closer to Videl and felt dreamy for a second. "Mm. That's a nice thought."
In the present, Gohan was staring at the little bear. It was gray and tan and white, hand-stitched, and very... sentimental. Gohan knew at once that he could treasure it forever.
Picking Videl up from the couch, Gohan made way for his room. Laying her down on his bed, he stared into her face. All lines of worry and happiness were gone. Contentment shone out a bit, but that might have been her stomach smiling at dinner. Without knowing what he was doing, Gohan reached out an gently stroked her cheek with his thumb.
"I think... I think I can tell you I love you now." His eyes hung like lead, so he slid into the queen-sized bed on the other side and fell asleep with Videl-bear held in the crook of his arm.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Videl had rolled over and put her head on Gohan's shoulder. Wrapping her arm around his own, she had buried her face in the warmth of his neck.
This embrace was what Gohan woke to at six in the morning. He just wanted to ignore school and stay where it was warm and sleepy, but he knew that he couldn't.
It was pretty funny when he realized his situation, but really wasn't that big a deal anymore. He gingerly unwrapped himself from Videl. It had felt so good, though. So right...
Gohan was glad he had forgotten to turn the living room lights on, because this time of year the dawn came later. He cleaned up the mess they had made with their merry-making the night before, and put the cake in the fridge. An afternoon snack, say.
Waking Videl proved a daunting task. He'd done it twice before and it was never an easy thing. Yet maybe the comfy sleep had done something, because she was awake as soon as Gohan gently shook her shoulder.
"Morning," she yawned.
"I loved your present."
"Mm."
"Did you bring clothes?"
"I left some here last time, remember?"
"Oh yeah. Well, we'd better get going."
"Oh man!"
"What is it?"
"I was going to sing a big Sinatra version of 'Happy Birthday' karoke style."
Gohan smirked. "Why not do it tonight, anyway? It might not be my birthday, but I'd bet it's something to see."
She feigned grumpiness and mumbled something about the dramatic effect. They smiled together.
School was... different. Everyone else was more distant, but for the opposite side of the coin. It was as though everyone outside of the private circle had static on their line. Something had changed in the last night, the last few days.
Before they started the trek home Videl caught Gohan staring at her.
"What?" She decided to joke, "Is there something on my face or-"
"Videl..." Gohan sounded serious, but more like he was committing to something.
"Are you okay?" She put a hand to his forehead, mocking.
"Videl." Gohan stared her straight in the eye. "I love you."
Something in the sky seemed to catch her gaze, because she turned to stare into the blue expanse.
"I know," she whispered almost too softly for him to hear. Then she giggled and put her arms around his neck. Into his ear she said, "I love you too, Mr. Golden-boy."
In the darkness where neither of the two realized lovers could see nor had the will to sense, a pitiful weakling of a boy was quivering in rage. His blonde hair shivered unnaturally, swaying like silk. Turning, he put his fist into the concrete wall with all of his strength. Bloodied his fist and did minimal damage to the wall, but it didn't dispel his hate.
"I swear," said Sharpner, "she will love me! Only me! Not some weak little smart-ass!" His eyes were wide. "No matter how..." he hissed.
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