Tamashii no Unmei
by Sageseeker777
Author's Notes:
It's been a while. I can't apologize, though I have no excuse. There were ups and downs and depressions and inspirations, time and no time, but... Joey-kun, danke.
Chapter Eight
Hand in hand we'll journey as pioneers,
Unlocking the greatest mysteries-
Don't listen to anyone who says we're wrong.
They can't stop you when you're a pioneer,
For truth is your greatest weapon-
Out there in the cosmos where we both belong.
-"I'm a Pioneer"
Childe of the light and a vessle of memory;
I am not the sum of my experience- I am my experience.
-"Drakes"
If you stand before the pow'r of hell, and death is at your side,
know that I am with you through it all.
-"Be not afraid"
Friendship is a lovely thing.
Love isn't what we seek. It's intimacy.
'Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.'
Love born of intimacy... 'True love'.
"We're here."
"I'm already dizzy."
"You're always dizzy."
"That's confusion."
"Yeah, whatever..."
"Hey-"
"Shh. I'm okay. Just a little... It's almost an anticlimax. Seven months looking forward to this and we get here and..."
"Oooh! No fun!" Videl pouted at Gohan, pulling him to the edge of the palatial living area. "Let's get started," she said, as she took the last step.
"Ugh!" Gohan grunted, grabbing his stomach.
"What's the matter? It feels like I just got lighter..."
"Feels way different... at least seven hundred... God!" Gohan collapsed against Videl and it felt like a thousand pounds to her. What was he, two hundred five? It was a good thing she'd powered up a little before they'd entered.
He gave Videl a sideways grin after forcing himself into a standing position. "Just didn't expect it I guess."
She punched him lightly in the arm. "Yeah, okay. Do you want to spar right off? I'm all set to go."
"Don't want to unpack?"
"Oooh, you!"
"Angry?" Gohan laughed, "You went to all that trouble packing so... And what's with all these 'ooohs'?"
"Hisss," she poked his chest, "Stop baiting me. I wanna fight."
"That's the point."
"Bring it, then."
An hour or so later they stepped back onto the cold ceramic tile and plopped down.
"This is gonna be fun," Videl mumbled into Gohan's shirt. Her head was resting on Gohan's stomach.
"Maybe. We started the training a while ago, but this is supposed to be the hardest part."
She raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"
"Um... Up till now we've focused on energy, technique, meditation. Sparring and the gravity chamber-"
"I was-"
"It's not the fact that you were doing fine in four hundred gees and you know that."
"What's left?"
"Well, we're here to prepare for the tournament. And you want to be able to beat me. You already can if I don't go Super... But in here it's kind of an endurance thing. Supposedly, the better you want to be, the harder this place will push you. When it gets to where you don't worry about mental stress, that's when you're really done. So it's like a final exam, taking what you've already got and making sure you can use it."
"I guess we never really talked about this place much."
"There was never much to tell."
"Wanna unpack now?"
Gohan grinned. "What did you even bring? Everything we need is already here, training gi's, food, a bath, beds..."
Videl smirked at his simplicity. "Men."
Gohan would have rolled his eyes if he hadn't been suddenly intrigued. What had he left out? He got up to look.
She'd brought a pack that was five feet long by three feet, and three feet deep. Gohan had carried it all the way to Kami's Tower, finding that it weighed rather a lot, probably because it was full.
Videl started to empty it into a dresser provided just for those who didn't believe in the all-providing nature of the room.
"I want you to try and guess," she said to him, "what in the world I could possible need that you would never normally think about at all. Don't feel free to take your time. I'll give you a hint- you'd blush."
He did blush.
"And you go shopping with me! Every time I tell you, you forget! If I don't go with you, that is. An entire year in here..." Despite the tone Videl was grinning toothily, pleased that she had Gohan in a position like this. He was so cute when his entire face was red from embarrassment! She finished putting away the pads and kissed his cheek. He was smiling sheepishly, now. "Forgetfully innocent. I don't understand why you blush like that over such a little thing..." Her tiny smile didn't fade, though.
"Okay, you got me there. But look how huge these bags are! What else?"
"Well... Remember that one dream you had, the one with the sword?" She found his eyes. He nodded. "I brought these!"
With that she used two hands to pull out four swords by their handles. "Two are wooden. Two are a titanium alloy. Training swords! Are you happy? I can teach you, 'cause it was the weapon I took up for my dad's dojo. I was never the absolute best since I gave it up before I was eleven..."
Gohan certainly looked happy. Or speechless at least. But he quickly countered, "Videl, you do know that by age eleven you were stronger than my dad at twenty-five?"
She stopped talking and looked into his eyes again.
Really? Whoa...
Really.
How-
I don't know. I always wondered if maybe your mother was an alien or something...
Hey! But that makes sense...
Mm.
"You seem shocked."
"From what you've told me, he saved the world about then."
"I told you this before-"
"I hadn't known how strong he was in comparison. It took king Kai to make him that strong."
"You were using the gravity room, too."
"Still. My mother? That's plausible... No proof, though."
"What else do you have in that bag?"
"Underwear. Briefs and panties and bras. You said there was a huge supply of gi's and I figured they had something up here to let you wash clothes, but I didn't want to wear the same-"
"Icky. I'd forgotten about us teenagers and our obsession with hygiene."
"But hygiene is soooo nice!" Videl giggled.
Gohan's voice sounded a little distracted. "I like your laugh..." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Videl's, staring into her eyes.
"What's this? You don't need to be all sensual to give me a good kiss, you know. Not that I mind, but if you're going to kiss me- Mmph."
You're funny, love...
-*-
It was a strange feeling, a cross between the presence of his hands around her waist and his breath against her neck, plus fear, anger, and confusion, all wrapped in a tense bundle.
And it hurt her, almost. Mostly it was worry, and maybe the intensity of his emotions were affecting her, but she needed to know why he had just left like that, why he had kept trying to close himself off when he didn't realize he was doing it. What was wrong? Everything had been so right.
Videl crossed the street and followed the bright lights of downtown in her dark clothes, some jeans and a baggy black shirt. He was close. And another question that kept bugging her was why he'd come here, in the middle of the noise and the crowd of the big city nightlife.
She followed the sidewalk until a lightless niche caught her eye. She had to stop to catch her breath. Not literally of course, but she needed to think.
It was only three weeks after they had started the second semester at school. They had been getting closer, far closer than they could ever have before. When memories of each other's past began to resurface... Right after and at first it had only been a vague feeling that seemed to bond to the feeling they had just in thinking about the other. Like warm or cold or soft or bright, only so complex that it was undefinable. And then specific things occurred in mind at the strangest times.
Like accepting each other. Gohan had a problem accepting himself. That was what he learned from the dream. Now, whether it was a good memory or a bad or an embarrassing that was remembered, the reaction wasn't what left you off-key, it was the feeling brought on. Sometimes it was hard. But they had made it through the first few days fine. It didn't get worse, either.
And it even led to a conversation about Videl's father. Gohan still had a baseless hate of the man, while Videl held a tiny sliver of hope buried somewhere that maybe one day... Well, they had gone to see him.
There was a balance between his fear of the weird-looking guys from so long ago and his hatred of this punk, not for stealing his daughter but for stealing the last piece of his wife that wasn't hollow and artificial. Even if he hadn't shown much concern for Videl, or care, or love, or attention, or pride no matter how easily she could have stood up to him... The fact that she was there at all was worth more to him than all that ego-stroking he felt he needed like water.
She would still be there. But he couldn't control her. And he had to get that through his skull. At least they got the message to him. What he did with it... Videl was sure he wouldn't try anything, but she wanted to fix their relationship eventually.
School had been less boring the second semester. Three of their electives had been only single semester courses, but they all had a continuance for the next level. Nothing too different. Things were just better than they had been.
That was before Gohan started acting funny. What about her? Videl realized. Had she become different? Was it both of them? Maybe an outside force... No, that was silly. It was something inside, something about how they were connecting so well.
She looked out onto the street, then up at the overcast night sky. It must have been nearing nine o'clock. Rain soon?
He had just... backed up a step. Maybe it was too much time with Hercule. Videl had panicked for a bit when she thought Gohan was afraid and trying to leave her alone. But that had passed quickly. Yet now, what could she think? She could think about him. Because he needed her help, now more than ever, probably.
Videl started to walk again. She could feel his presence getting stronger.
It had manifested as a coldness. Not when he thought about it, realized what he was doing, but he kept- Well, it was like when you're really tired and keep making mistakes because you can't tell you're doing them. You catch a few, but the others, they hit with full effect.
So he started talking a little less, and gradual distance separated them. Not when he could tell, no, those were the times just like always when they would be together because it felt good.
And it had reached a point. Gohan had just walked out. And now here he was. She was sure he was right by this corner. Somewhere near.
Glancing around she caught a figure in a black and green jacket over a blue shirt walking out of a store. That was him. Cookies! How dare he buy cookies without her! Grr...
I bought them for you, Love.
"Gohan," Videl gasped, walking across the empty street of the quieter north-downtown shopping district.
He looked standoffish. Hard thing to do, look standoffish. Videl opened her mouth to say something, but as the air flared up her nose it made her feel the way you do when water accidentally goes up your nostril. Her eyes started to tear.
"Shh..." Gohan put his arm around her.
She was suddenly angry. "Why the hell did you leave me like that? Where were you all day?"
He stayed calm, even as she stared daggers into his eyes with those glittering azure panes. "Um... Can I explain the whole thing instead?" He tried to give her something along the lines of a 'puppy-dog look'.
"Now," she ordered.
"Uh... Can we sit?"
She gestured to a bench and they sat.
"Okay." Gohan took a second, then turned to Videl and started. "Okay," he repeated, "the whole thing was just me not having a chance to think about all these changes."
"But-"
"Hey. Not that I haven't had time to think about them, more getting used to them. Or accepting them. Or something. Sometimes I need to step back from life, admire or hate or get angry at it, then dive back in. What time in the last four weeks have you had to yourself?" He looked serious. "I mean, away from the telepathy thing, away from me, away from your life."
Videl looked away. "I don't need time, though..." She didn't sound very confident.
"Videl." He looked her in the eyes. "Most of the time when someone does this they don't even realize it. I think humans need it. But I kept messing up- my subconscious kept trying to get me away for some reason, and when I figured that out I decided to listen to it as soon as possible so I could come back and not have to worry about myself and our love and everything trying to fall apart for the sake of my mental health. I took a walk. I don't know why it helped, but it did. And I was gonna bring you cookies! Look!" He held them out and she snatched the little bag. Inside were two enormous, warm, gooey, scrumptious-looking chocolate chip cookies. She broke one and gave half to Gohan.
Chewing a corner, she asked, "Are you sure you're okay now?"
"Yup," he answered cheerfully.
"Good. But you worried me. I was afraid. I cried."
He bit his lip. "I didn't want to make you cry. I wasn't thinking too straight. Weird. Maybe my brain had to adjust or something so I could function. I'm sorry..."
"Don't say you're sorry. You should be, certainly, but you don't have to apologize if you didn't up and leave because if you love me I know-" Gohan interrupted her with a warm chocolate kiss.
Mmmm...
I do love you.
Love isn't supposed to be painful.
It isn't. People are. I should have told you-
And my feelings might have been hurt that you needed to get away from me.
You wouldn't have cried.
It would have been negative.
This wasn't?
This we can blame on a moment of temporary clarity. Or insanity. And insanity.
They had kind of forgotten their bodies, screaming for oxygen. With a gasp the kiss broke and they sat together in silence for a minute. Videl looked up at Gohan and said, "This feels like a good ending to something bad. And that something bad doesn't feel so bad."
"What happened, again?"
"Was that rhetorical or sarcastic?
"Serious. And confused."
"I think you needed some time alone. And that need caused a distance, until you actually went and... what's the word..."
"Fulfilled it?"
"Yeah, and I got all insecure and worried until I went out and found you and understood things. And that's where we are." She sighed.
"Why..." he trailed off.
"Yeah?" She felt that he hadn't wanted to finish it as soon as she asked.
"I was going to ask why you thought about your dad when you said 'insecure'. But a second later I realized the answer. Maybe I'm tired or something."
"It's late, isn't it?"
"Nine."
"Nn." Videl leaned into his shoulder and closed her eyes. The wind whispered down the street, blowing some old newspaper around. There was a little tree right next to the bench. Videl watched the scenery through the lull of Gohan's thoughts. But his focus changed and although she couldn't 'hear' anything, it didn't feel like he was blocking her out.
"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" She asked tiredly.
"Hm? Can't you tell?"
"Nuh-uh. You won't even show it to yourself."
"So how... Look. I mean listen. I mean-"
Shhh...
A picture burst into her head, of herself. It was in the bedroom, and everything was black except for her above Gohan. She was looking down at him. She thought he was asleep. His eyelids were open just the barest slight crack, though.
And her eyes were afraid. They were scared of something, but emotion seemed to flow out of them as she caressed Gohan's cheek. Then the memory bent down and kissed Gohan's lips, wrapping her arms tightly around his chest before falling asleep.
The eyes were what stuck in Gohan's mind, though. That point right between fear and peace, or fear and relief, or fear and something, that seemed to convey a sense of trust.
Videl hugged Gohan and thought to him, "Let's go home."
-*-
Videl opened her eyes, breathing heavily with exhaustion. Was the light more intense than usual? It hurt... And the inside of her mouth felt like sandpaper. Maybe she was sick. Bile had risen in the back of her throat and left a bad taste.
Keep walking, she thought to herself. One foot in front of the other.
Where was Gohan? They'd been apart for the first time since arriving a week before and he'd suggested that they separate, go out a little bit further than normal... Probably knew she'd get lost. Wanted to start the 'really intense' training. Well, she'd made it! Yeah. Just a little hallucinating now. So she was thirsty. Shouldn't have practiced so hard. Time, that perspective devil... How long had she been gone?
There was the clock now. Three days! What-
Gohan? Where are you? Gohan...
Oh. There he was, on his back with his eyes closed. Meditating? Hmmm. The warm feeling in the back of her mind, was that his presence? Had he been trying to stay focused on her the entire time? Would he have experienced the hunger and thirst and all that bad feeling? Well, he looked like he might have been laying there for more than fifty hours...
Gohan? Videl thought to him. She kneeled down beside him and gently shook his arm. He tensed the muscles in his neck and then arched his head upwards, yawning. Videl put an arm under his head and hooked another under his knees. She was at the point where she could ignore any more stress put on her muscles or mind and let it pile numbly.
Gohan looked up into her face and opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it. Instead, he put both arms around Videl's neck to give her an easier time of carrying him.
"Sorry I'm late. Got a little... lost," Videl said dryly as she plopped him on their bed.
"Are-" He started to cough, so she grabbed a jug of water and half-emptied it herself before letting him ease his throat. Gohan hadn't even had the luxury of saliva as long as she had. He'd been resting against the cool cool tile... Well, maybe not so cool with the arid heat the chamber had decided they needed to experience a bit of. It emanated in waves across the ground up to the central area of the 'oasis'. Which this little thing really was, heat or no heat.
When he could speak, Gohan restarted with, "Are you okay? I felt you doing exercises even after a full day wandering around in that heat and I was going to stop it and get you..."
But you didn't. She glared at him lightly. "I had fun!" Videl declared, putting on a sour face.
Gohan forced out a breath and ignored the sarcasm. "Are you hungry?"
Videl's dropped her facade and her body sagged. Her eyes had dark rings, and they were red from the moisture sucking heat. Gohan moved so he could support her with his arms. "No," she answered. "I'm tired more than anything..."
"Mm." Gohan kissed the corner of her lips and laid her down where he had just been. "You rest. I'll get food together and start a bath-"
"No. Stay with me." She loosely hooked an arm around one of his. Videl was already half-asleep, fighting for a few words.
"Okay, then." The corner of Gohan's lips fought to upturn. Not a real, happy smile, just that he was glad to help her, comfort her by giving her what she needed. The feeling was different than anything else he'd felt because he knew he'd caused this, at least partially. Guilt was with him, but he knew that he hadn't given in to selfishness.
Videl snuggled against his neck, letting Gohan wrap an arm around her shoulders. Love isn't pain, not at all, Gohan rationalized. Love is trust.
-*-
Days flew by like leaves, all the same, yet every new one discovered was so intrinsically different and beautiful. Never identical, no repetition, but following the same setting and the same characters.
Time slowed sometimes, time that was hard to see, like a river that slowed around the bends so you could admire little secret spots and appreciate how far you've come. That's what Valentine's Day was like for Gohan and Videl.
Nothing new of course, except for the increased activity all over school, some dance going on that night that seemed to have slipped the couple's minds, and all those guys massing what little courage they had to squeeze their heart out in front of some crush or other. It was like a game of hit and miss. When you already have someone, it makes you laugh when you step back and watch the attempts.
First period, second period, third period, teachers trying to grab the attention of students, creative assignments to fill another one of those days students aren't able to pay attention.
Videl got Gohan to ask other guys for her friends, to find out who likes who. Normal males might feel as though this is traitorous behaviour, letting 'the enemy' know the devastating emotional weight they're carrying... And that was how Videl played matchmaker for some fun.
"A dance?" Gohan was walking in front of Videl walking backwards.
"What, afraid you'll embarrass yourself?" She knew that wasn't the case, but it was fun to tease.
"It's such short notice... And why don't we just-"
"Gohan, I wanna go to the dance!" Videl tested out her cutest pout.
"But-" Videl noticed that Gohan looked a little stressed out over this little thing.
"What's the problem? It'll be so fun!"
"Oh, nothing." He turned to walk beside her and kicked a rock. "My stomach feels funny."
Videl felt something new from him; resignation. The word itself was hard to pin on him, but it spread like a cascading waterfall. He had said that last bit about his stomach in such a way as Videl almost didn't notice, but she asked, "What's wrong with your stomach?"
He looked a little surprised. "Nothing, really. Just a little... swishy? I dunno. No big deal."
"Hmph," Videl breathed, laying her head on his shoulder. This felt a little... awkward. He didn't want to go to the dance, but he was still going, and she was acting intimate for no reason other than that she could. Why was this making her feel so... It was Gohan. Some unconscious emotion was tumbling down on her and making her feel like she had done something wrong. Guilt? Could be. What had she done?
"Gohan?" she asked sweetly.
"What, love?"
She kissed his jaw where it met the ear and whispered, "Stop."
It was a command. It took him a second to realize that and he was already a step ahead of her. She had slid her head smoothly off his shoulder and grabbed both of his arms, turning his body to face her.
Staring into his eyes she asked, "Are you still my friend?"
This caught Gohan off-guard. What a strange question. Humph. Oh course, in his confusion he stared blankly at her like a fish.
"I mean, we have fun and we are sweetly in love and all that, but sometimes I feel like there are problems we don't talk about. Stupid things, feelings I get from you that last less than minutes, but if I never bring them to the fore you'll never get them out. Why don't you want to go to the dance? Is that even the problem? I..." She stopped. Gohan looked like he had something to say.
He took a shallow breath, then another, and then said, "To tell you the truth... I wish you hadn't cornered me." He was staring into her sapphire eyes and that was hard for him, always. Because it felt like she could look into his soul, and without knowing it, she did. "Since... Well, whenever something happens that I don't like, it only makes sense to me to change what I wanted to fit whatever is possible. I had..." he paused to grin, "other plans for tonight."
Videl pressed her lips together and looked wistful, all the fiery spirit of caring leaking out of her. "Oh. Ooooops." She looked up. "Sorry."
Gohan put an arm around her shoulders and restarted their homeward walk. "I figured we could just leave the dance early and I could go through with my plan... You would probably be way too tired if we danced until two in the morning. Well, maybe. 'The limits of human endurance...'"
"I happen to be above average, you know."
"But when you haven't been completely geared toward 'the fight' and your body isn't pumping adrenaline, or at least isn't focused completely on the task at hand, how is it going to keep you any more energized than the next person? And personally, dancing for more than five hours? I-"
"We wouldn't dance the whole time!" Videl bopped him in the back of the head.
"I knew that! But wouldn't you rather be moving in a perfect rhythm with someone so that the rest of the world isn't there for the entire thing than pausing to rest your weary feet and talk? I do believe that we talk far more than any other couple we happen to have the great privilege of knowing."
"Humph." She smirked. "What if we get thirsty?"
"Well..." Gohan laughed this tiny laugh that didn't leave his throat and sounded melodic.
"Oh, you!" Videl tried to be even a little bit miffed at the image of soul-deep kisses instead of taking a break for drinks. But...
"I didn't mean to think of it, I swear!" he continued in an undertone, "Although, I made sure you saw it..."
I could feel it.
That sounds nice. Thought-kisses?
Wanna try it?
Why n-
Several seconds of complete silence grabbed hold and didn't break until they reached the apartment. When they got there, they kissed physically, intensely, though any observer would have guessed they were trying to become one with the wall. Good thing the cameras were recorders and not closed circuit.
When they managed to enter the apartment, they stopped what they had been doing. What a ticklish sensation, thought-kissing! Gohan wanted to giggle for joy of the idea.
Five hours and some fancy dress clothes later, the couple departed for the Valentine's Day dance.
When they returned three hours after that, it was with weary feet and a happy feeling. The floor had gotten too crowded, and they figured it was already late enough.
"Gohan? I'm tired..."
"One minute, one minute." He slid through the door of the bedroom and grabbed something off of the bookshelf. "I was going to do other stuff, but that dance was to fun to stop any earlier."
Videl smiled, then yawned. "I don't know how everyone else was still going so strong..."
"They arrived later. A secret of dances, I guess." Gohan thought that was amusing.
"I liked how it went."
"So did I."
"So what is that?" She tried to look at the box he'd hidden behind his back, getting up from the couch to peer around him, but he switched to the other hand and twirled around.
"Nope. Let me put it on you and then look. You can open it, though..."
"How am I-"
"Just keep your eyes closed and I'll move your hands. Promise."
"I promise."
Gohan sat on the floor in front of the couch, using it to lean against. They did this so often that they never bothered to move the glass coffee table back... Videl sat in front of him, quite sensual in a stunning green dress.
Gohan gently trailed his hands down her arms and when he put his palms on the back of her hands their fingers entwined softly but like unbreakable thread. About then Gohan noticed what a comfortable position they were in, with Videl pressed against him, and he took the opportunity to kiss her neck while guiding her hands in opening the black case. It was about six inches long and one and a half inches wide, with something flexible and metallic laid out on the tiny cushion inside.
"Is it a necklace?" Videl asked.
"Shh," Gohan answered.
He took it out and put it around Videl's neck, letting her hold her waist-length hair aside for him. When he was finished, she looked down at the thing.
Its chain was sized so that it hung down three inches from her throat, that chain of links so fine they might have been woven like silk. It was stronger than titanium, however. And what hung from the necklace, the important part; Videl knew Gohan, and that he had a particular belief about jewelry- To him, it meant something. And whatever meaning it has to you is generally so important that you don't take off that thing. Wherever that thought had sprung up, even he had no idea, but that meant he'd put a lot into this gift.
At first it seemed like a glass or crystal cylinder, maybe one inch long and a little less than a centimeter wide. Videl felt a moment of frustration like a spike from Gohan, but suddenly the cylinder filled with two spiraling strands, like DNA.
One could have been fire, yellows and whites and reds and oranges sharply visible to Videl's keen eye. The other was a tiny blue line, almost invisible, but when you caught it and stared at it, its light grew in your eyes until it was the brightest thing in your vision.
She wanted to gasp, be amazed, love it forever, but her first reaction was to blink. A moment caught out of time. Thank you, it's beautiful, what paltry words! This was- Well, it drove her speechless. The meaning was so simple, yet so incredibly expressed. At what cost...
Videl sighed. Gohan smiled. She was overwhelmed, and that was pleasing to him.
"I," Gohan sang like a lullaby into her ear, "love, you..."
-*-
White-hot fury filled Videl's veins. She couldn't see that who she was fighting was Gohan. She couldn't see herself. This was the harshest battle yet, and maybe the most important.
Videl rushed Gohan again, twirling beneath his block and trying to land a kick to the chest. By the time she got a foot out, he was twenty feet away. They flew together, a hurricane of electricity when blows hit, firestorms when they missed. Energy attacks only added another angle to the art, making the whole thing not only graceful but intense as well. Videl was using several methods Gohan didn't know, trying to keep him off-guard by differentiating as fast as he could understand and counter.
It was mindless after a long enough time. This was what began to anger Videl. She was trying! This was the best she could do! And Gohan had no qualms with having fun! He was having fun while she was-
So she tried harder. It was a vicious feeling, setting out to hurt someone because what they were doing made you feel bad. And while her blows got more ragged, they also got stronger and harder to keep up with.
"Videl?"
No answer. Dodge, block, explosion.
"Videl! What's wrong?"
Still no answer. Frustrating. Gohan stopped completely, moving fast enough that Videl couldn't land a blow but not trying for any himself.
That got her attention quick. "GOHAN! What the hell are you doing!" Her eyes were wide and bloodshot. That wasn't a good sign. "I'm NOT finished yet!" And with that she caught him in the leg with a chop, causing him to twist and roundhouse.
"Videl! Why don't we take a break? You don't look too good." Understatement of the year.
She couldn't hear him, or was to tired to pay attention. Like a distance runner, after the first two miles or so you just keep putting your feet down one in front of the other. Just keep pressing or you'll be so tired you won't be able to stop. Her attacks began to get increasingly more brutal- she was practically using herself as a sledgehammer. When she was close, Gohan could hear her saying in a screaming whisper over the furious wind and noise they were creating, "Must...better... not enough! Not ENOUGH! I..." And it made him worry.
On her next flyby, Gohan grabbed her shoulders, got her into a lock from the front. Videl countered this by zooming high into the 'sky' to a dizzying height, trying to slam him into the ground. At the same time, she used her free forearms to club Gohan's ears.
When they were a short distance from the ground, Gohan decided that the only way he was going to stop Videl was to get her unconscious. It made sense, with the way her eyes had shrunk so that white and red were far more prominent than blue. She had gone into some sort of hysterical episode, outside of herself.
Videl didn't let him twist to slam her into the ground, however. They stopped, and their embrace disengaged. Videl leaped to a spot within speaking distance.
"What's wrong? Why can't you fight?"
She was taunting him. Who was this Videl?
"You don't want to use any kind of forced wit' a poor girl like me?" Her exaggerated tone of hurt sounded insulting.
She rushed him, with a fist to the face that he could hear swishing through the air where his head had been, and then a punch at the gut that let him catch her arm. This brought her face to his ear, where she whispered, "Why don't you help me? You could give me the strength I need! But you won't. Daddy would be so proud."
Gohan's eyes went wide. Is that what she was after? How lucid was she? This didn't make too much sense, especially not in the heat of a fight and in the middle of all this action.
"Oh, I'd forgotten. You killed him..."
Time seemed to freeze. His breath caught in his throat. A monster. It wasn't Videl. Couldn't be her. This was a monster. Videl had experienced his memories. She knew what had happened, had felt as bad as he did when she would wake up in the night after bad dreams about his past.
"You must have loved him more than me..."
Was this a nightmare? That sentence didn't make sense. If he had really hurt his father, how could someone infer that he loved his father so much more? Gohan tried to stay calm. Videl was still caught in his arm.
She said something else. He didn't hear. There was a decision point in front of him. He made a choice that he didn't like, and it was something he would never do again. The punch he threw at her was filled with pure malice, with anger, and Gohan would never be able to excuse that kind of cowardice.
It connected solidly. Videl was thrown back, but launched herself at him again.
"Stop Gohan, stop Gohan, stop," he was whispering to himself. His entire body quaked as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm himself down. The sting of tears didn't help. But a thought occurred to him, something that might work.
Nothing physical could have gotten him angry. He was the picture of calm, and he was the type who knew how to handle a situation. He shut down his response to anything she could say.
Blows hit home while he was focused on stopping himself. Videl was lashing back in a hate-filled rage. Tears ran freely from Gohan's eyes as she sliced his sides, elbowed his kidneys, kicked him by the chest twenty feet.
But then she asked, "Why don't you love me enough to do this?"
It wasn't in context. Gohan heard it like a chime, over the storm, the racing wind, the thunder, and his mind tried to wrap itself around the meaning of that. It hurt, more than any of the other things she had said. He couldn't see that this wasn't something he would do out of love, or just didn't think that was true. So he stood and walked calmly over to her. She stared at him, and he knew this wasn't his Videl.
But he raised his hand, put it to her head, and fired.
She screamed in torment. It was the worst sound he had ever heard, but it wasn't as painful as those words. There was something in his mind compelling him to do everything for love. Anything. Because he needed it, feared losing it maybe? Or because he was so bound by it, so dedicated... Or something. Either way didn't sound too healthy a state of mind.
When he was done, Videl collapsed from where she had been held off of the ground by his energy. She had wanted his power, and he had given it to her.
Gohan fell to his knees beside her, tears in his eyes, and hugged her body as he rocked back and forth.
When she woke, she jumped away from where they had both been leaning against one another. Gohan was up in a second, yelling at her.
"That's enough!"
Videl rushed at Gohan again, would have ripped through his upper body with her shin if he hadn't dodged.
"Videl! God, stop!"
She was burning off the excess, still a little in shock and trying to follow the last commands her mind had ordered before being knocked out.
THAT'S ENOUGH!!!
It acted like a splash of cold water, or, more realistically, plugging in your earphones to find that somehow your music was turned up to full volume. Gunshot-style ittai. Videl froze. And didn't move. Gohan flew up to collect her, her body becoming limp as he put an arm under her knees and one behind her head.
Why had she pushed so hard? Why had he pushed so hard? Gohan wanted to scream, to beg for the answer. What was so wrong? You are who you are. You don't need to prove anything by strength. Didn't their love function on the principle that whatever you do can be forgiven? That was his side, anyway. Videl was everything. Yet, he had hurt her. That wasn't love. What would happen when she woke up?
Gohan landed on the side of the palatial little oasis thingy, where the bathhouse was. Ugh! How many days straight had they gone without returning? It was getting easier, and his base level was rising. That meant that his strength would rise some in super-Saiyan form, but meant more that his endurance was rising in both forms. Not sustaining endurance, like when he and his father had gone all those days as super-Saiyans until it was easy, but pain tolerance, the length the fight could be. Not that they expected to need it, except against each other. But it might be fun. Vegeta was the only problem, since he had been training daily for seven years, but Gohan had been training off and on in intervals that were like uber-boosts making up for lost time. Only when he'd needed to, but how often was that?
Gohan laid Videl against the inside wall of the bathhouse. A lot of things here were bigger than he remembered them... He stripped to take a bath.
Videl was the reason they were training, Gohan reminded himself. Training until you drop isn't a good way to train, but she had increased her ability by a full half before today. That was incredibly far, yet... And now she was beyond even that. When he had given her his power way back when, he had fulfilled her potential. Like his father and the Kaio-ken, or the transformation to super-Saiyan, there is a level you can be boosted to. But beyond that takes training. He had known this before. So when he gave her more power... It had hurt. Like when his father had used the ten-times Kaio-ken that first time. It was beyond potential, might have torn her apart. He could have killed her...
Gohan immersed himself and sat down with the wall opposite Videl at his back. She looked the way he felt.
Videl's body tensed as she snapped awake. The steam calmed her though, and she sat up quietly. Looking across the bathhouse she found herself staring straight into Gohan's dark eyes. So dark you could get lost in them, lost in a moment of perfect clarity between two people...
She stood, trying not to let his eyes find hers, stripped, and practically dived into the water. Videl soaped up and rinsed, and in those five minutes not a word was exchanged. Videl handed the sponge to Gohan. For a single tentative moment in the unbreakable silence her eyes met his again and she noticed that he hadn't moved a millimeter.
Her eyes were locked. She struggled to budge a muscle, any muscle, but all they did was strain and quiver. Sight wavered, and there must have been tears behind her eyes. Her throat felt like it was closing, like her tears were already stinging her palette. Some sort of truth was found in the other's eyes, but Videl didn't seem to remember exactly what had happened. Confusion, shards of memory... She managed to turn away an eternity of a moment later. When hot tears ran down her face, it somehow surprised Videl to find Gohan's arms wrapped around her.
She was a fragile, quaking mess of tears that held his body like a lifeline. The water moved around them, and the ends of Videl's hair floated where they had grown long enough. Her sobs made the only sounds.
Shh...
What... What happened?
Gohan held her tighter. She couldn't remember. More bad dreams. But he was here, he'd always be here for her. An exception, though. What had he done? He had- No. Never again, no matter the circumstances, would he ever touch her in anger. No matter the mind-twisting conditions and hurtful words or the situation's necessity. Doubt, like the first crack in the cornerstone, it was in the back of his mind where he held firmly his love. There was this feeling, however, this soothing wave of warmth pouring into him that kept that doubt at bay.
Eventually she quieted down and the stark contrast between power and brittleness resided. She was so warm in his arms... That was when Gohan realized they were both still nude. It didn't bother him, not much, but something had just happened again, some new link or window or cord between them had been forged. All of these little bad things and distancing problems and everything only served to make them closer.
So he would embrace that. They would become closer without any more pain.
Staring over her shoulder, Gohan's gaze found the little necklace he'd given her. Tracing its chain with his finger, he passed the cylinder and put an arm around her waist. 'A symbol of the power of your love' the woman had said. Those first few seconds when he thought it wouldn't work...
Gohan rested his head against Videl's neck, enjoying her warmth.
-*-
March twenty-sixth.
It rained. That was incredibly strange, but hey, April showers...
Gohan and Videl danced in the rain to music only they could hear. People probably thought they were crazy, twirling at the ends of each other's arms by centrifugal force. Around and around, laughing, loving.
They visited Chi-chi that night, had dinner, talked. Everyone seemed to be getting over what had happened. At least a little bit. It could have been a ripple effect of Gohan's own feelings, which had always been so emphatic that they may have spilled over his family's and affected them.
April first was a quiet day. They took off from school to walk in the park. A nice picnic lunch on a hill served as the best part of the day, due especially to having two great cooks in the family.
I don't like losing people I love.
That doesn't give you the right to commit suicide.
Why not? I love life dearly, I swear! But I don't mind death. And I don't know how I could stand loneliness again. It was such an empty life...
Love. If you're gonna kill yourself, do it on some mindless quest to right my death by facing off against a great evil enemy. At least that way you have the chance of accomplishing something.
What if you die in some other, simpler way?
Gohan burst out laughing. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the clouds. Clouds always seemed so beautiful to him... Maybe because they were always mountainous and puffy and centered on the sun like some great sky mosaic just for him. But he was drawn to wonder how they had even started talking about death.
Gohan moved closer to Videl, laying stomach-down on the blanket, and began to run a hand through her hair. The sun was warm today, he noticed.
Gohan...
What?
We aren't that invincible. Didn't your dad almost die from a virus?
Okay, so? I don't plan on dying. If I die, I wouldn't mind you being right there with me. But here is where you can affect things, right? What's after is supposed to be limitless and a whole lot better, but if what's here determines what's there, we should fight for here.
Yeah. I just...
Hey, there's always the dragonballs, right?
That brought a smile.
I'd like to see that 'Great Dragon' thing.
'Eternal Dragon'.
Well, excuse me!
I dunno. It's almost a cheap trick, now, how we can cheat death that way. But why not? I only plan on dying at the hands of someone in defense of someone, and unnatural death is the only time you're allowed to be revived. I wonder if that includes 'acts of god'...
Isn't that an insurance term?
I suppose. Humph.
Wanna get going?
Mm-hm.
I had a nice day. Thank you.
Oh the things I do for love...
Videl punched him lightly in the shoulder, then met his lips in a feather-light kiss.
-*-
"Gohan," Videl whispered.
It was black in the little alcove where the beds were. After so long in the light, it was a nice respite.
Videl laid her head back down on Gohan's chest. She had been crying, using his bare chest as a pillow. Dreams didn't want to be nice to her.
Gohan, if you're awake... I want to ask you a question.
She could feel him, feel that he was conscious in some part of his mind. Poking him, she brought his attention to her.
Videl?
Gohan... do you hate me?
His mouth hung open. What a way to wake up.
"Videl? That's a childish question. Besides, I couldn't hate you, ever."
"I... I just had some strange dreams."
Gohan put his arms around her back. "What kind of dreams, honey?" he asked. But he already knew.
Videl could feel that he knew and didn't answer. After a few minutes, Gohan asked her, "Do you love me?"
It didn't come as quick as his response, but she answered, "Of course. I just... I'm sorry. I feel terrible. I can't even remember exactly what I did, but I think you have more reason to hate me than I do to hate you..."
"I asked a different question because I'm not worried about your hate or my hate. I can deal with hate. If you didn't love me, though..."
"Why does everything feel artificial all of a sudden?"
"In what way?"
"I just... it feels like something went wrong and didn't get fixed."
"Will it go away if we ignore it?"
"It might... If we don't accept it, then maybe it can't exist."
"What is 'it'?"
"Whatever it was that went wrong."
"Okay..."
"Let's try to sleep. This day has been exhausting enough." She paused. "I love you."
Gohan kissed the top of her head. "I love you more."
"Oh yeah?"
Gohan moved his hands to two very vulnerable spots and would have siezed the attack if Videl hadn't thought-whispered, 'You won't tickle me.' Simple as that.
Aw, he would get her in the morning...
-*-
"Ring," said the door.
This had never happened very often, and Videl was busy in the kitchen so she called, "Gohan, door!!" over the music, which would have woken the neighborhood if the walls hadn't been soundproofed.
She didn't hear anything for a few minutes, but the music turned down suddenly. What could merit something as harsh as that? Emergency?
Videl stepped out into the living room in an apron covered with flour and other things. She sucked in a huge breath when she saw who was there. Hercule.
Had she needed to, she would have shot a look at Gohan. Instead she asked, Why didn't you warn me?
He thought-smiled. I wanted to surprise you...
Grr.
How would she deal with this? It had already been a second or two and no words had been spoken. Gohan's apron caught her eye. He had just been going to change. They didn't need this right now, the first day of Spring Break.
So she played an ace. Running up to the boisterous Mr. Satan, Videl threw her hands around his neck and yelled, "Daddy! How have you been? I haven't seen you in so long! Why don't you come into the kitchen? We were just baking some snacks..."
Hercule looked a little out of sorts. Videl had noticed right away what a feat it was for him to be here, now, alone, and then to be welcomed like this. She smiled at the thought that she had shut him up. Good. At least then she didn't have to think about who he thought he was. Did that make any sense?
I swear, nothing is supposed to make sense ever, is it?
What?
Nothing...
You're cute when you improvise, did you know that?
Really? Cuter than when I'm baking? Or when I first wake up?
Not really cuter than when you first wake up- Then you have the hair thing going for you.
Videl giggled, making Hercule blink. Still less than a minute had passed since he had entered the apartment.
Looking around the kitchen, Hercule goggled. There must have been over a two hundred cookies, brownies, muffins, and more.
"Uh... Hiya honey!" he finally managed to find his tongue, greeting Videl a little belatedly. "Is this all for you?"
"Of course," Videl declared. Turning to Gohan she said, "Go turn the music back on.""
"Well, you always did have a healthy appetite..."
Videl gestured to the table. "What brings you here dad?" she asked as they sat down.
"I- um... Just wanted to see how you were doing! Yeah! I think I'll go now, though, because I have this big... thing... today! Yeah. It's nice to see you're doing good, honey! I'll be going now!" He stood to leave.
"No no, don't leave!"
"I have to, though. You know me."
Did that carry deeper meaning?
"At least take some cookies dad. They're fresh." She grabbed a baggie-full and thrust it at him. Hercule grabbed it, getting caught unawares in the hug coming his way.
"Visit more often," Videl whispered.
Her father smiled awkwardly and left the room, brushing by Gohan.
When the door closed, Gohan said, "That was abrupt."
"Yeah."
"He's trying."
"That's good."
"He took my cookies!"
"Oh me, oh my."
"Garsh durn it to blinking Joe!" Gohan snapped his fingers in an faux-angry gesture.
"Such harsh words!" Videl smiled.
"Life seems to be getting better."
"Relationships are healing."
"And getting stronger."
"I wonder what's next?"
-*-
Do you still remember my entire life? Videl asked.
I... more by feel. Vague notions of what happened. Like a dream. Where did that come from?
Gohan continued to do the exercise, mimicking Videl's every move by intuition instead of sight. It had taken a while, but they were getting there.
Just that I was thinking...
Yes?
Videl grunted, speeding up the pace. Sweat was pouring down both of their faces as gravity fluctuated incredibly near the 'poles' of wherever they were. And the conditions were harsher, more random, pushing even their limits.
We're supposed to know each other and...
Hum?
One second. Got to focus. Videl bit back a minor profanity as she exerted herself. It was angering her that she had this one thought and couldn't finish it without stopping. Why couldn't she? It wasn't that difficult! God. She was starting to really loathe this place. Looking back on how far she'd come, though...
Are you okay?
Yeah! Ooh. Sorry. Just that I was wondering why you're so... strong for me. I feel weak sometimes. I don't know. Not that I don't love it and appreciate it and need it... Just that-
Ya know what?
Gohan was sweating profusely, struggling to keep on par with Videl.
What?
I think that- I have way more problems than you- But that- "Urgh!" I help myself by helping you! "Grrr..." This is getting tough.
Smiles appeared on their faces at the same time. It was like training to think in tandem.
I still feel that-
Videl! I find strength in just being able to hold you! You seem to find your strength in me, myself! Do you want to stop?!
Um... Yeah!
They stopped the exercises.
Am I an object? If you had someone else to hold-
Of course not. I meant that in helping you, the one that I love, I feel better than if I had helped myself.
Mm. Just wondering.
It's always good to explore every meaning. That way you can find the true truth.
When they got back to the oasis, Videl thought to Gohan, Can't we talk yet?
C'mon! Imagine fighting like one, we'd completely blow away any enemy...
Who? Gohan, you said yourself once- You became the strongest being in the universe. When you're absolutely sure of something like that, and then you go on to become stronger instead of getting weaker and forgetting how to be strong, who could possibly stop you?
Never make assumptions like that! What about Babidi?
Oh, right, those guys were soooo strong!
Blech. There was someone behind them. And there's always someone behind the guy behind the guy. And the super evil bad guy has the big boss who has the enemy who just found out how to kick everybody's ass!
Maybe.
Maybe.
My mouth wants to be opened!
Kiss me.
Maybe.
Harumph.
Hey, Gohan?
Yeeeesss?
I know you're kindof busy at the moment, what with your lips glued to mine, but do you remember those swords I brought in with us?
The ones we haven't seen since?
Yeah, those.
Are you going to teach me how to use them?
Yeah.
In a little while.
Okay.
-*-
I think we should find you a personal trainer before the tournament!
Aw, c'mon.
Don't be embarrassed. You have incredible aptitude. In a week you could be better than me with the sword.
Let's just go home.
Everything's packed?
Yup.
Videl and Gohan had switched from the generic white training gi's to the clothes they had worn on entrance. It would be dark when they exited. It hadn't lasted quite an entire year...
You need a haircut.
Gohan's hair had already been as long as his father had cut it that first time in the Room, since he had kept up the spiky style his dad perpetuated, but now it was past his shoulders.
Well, you only look more beautiful after all this time.
Videl blushed, feeling reproached.
Hey, she said, How will we tell our birthdays? I know we'll probably keep the same ones, but they won't be real...
Ya know, I asked Dende that once. He told me that your body attempts to find an equilibrium with the universe so it messes with your body clock until you're grown a full cycle more or a full cycle less. I'm not sure how long a real 'cycle' is, though...
Well?
Gohan sighed. Let's go.
Videl looked around.
I don't think I'll miss it. It was fun, but it felt... transitive. Like a train on the way to somewhere.
I think we changed a lot.
For the better?
What do you think?
I love you more every day.
Gohan smiled.
And it feels like there was never a good way to talk before we could think to each other.
We're a dangerous combination.
Too bad they don't have a team competition at the Budoukai.
Yeah.
They each put a hand on the door handle and pulled together, dim sunlight meeting their eyes.
-*-
"This is going to be fun."
"Anxiety?"
"A little bit."
"Don't worry."
Videl bit her lip and looked around the room again.
"I said 'don't worry'." Gohan took her hand and Videl closed her eyes, pirouetting and curling Gohan's arm around her.
"This feels dark," Gohan whispered into her ear, conveniently next to his mouth. He wasn't able to resist the urge to nibble it, either.
"It must be me. A whole year?"
"Videl," Gohan whined, "we've been planning this since like forever!" In a more serious tone, he whispered, "Everything will be alright."
"I just have this feeling..."
"It'll only be one day. Plus flight time."
"Okay. Last minute jitters. This feels weird. I've never been on an extended vacation before. A whole year..."
"We might not even stay the entire year."
"Really?"
"Do you think we'll need it?"
"Okay, then."
"Well, I'm ready, you're ready, do you have the stuff?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want to wait another day? We still have three weeks left in July. If you want to-"
"Gohan! I know you have this meticulously planned out. And I don't want more than this little break in training. We have a year, but we only have a year."
He smirked. "Goodie. Let's go!"
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