Remus carried a cup of strong coffee into the living room of Moira's apartment, where she sat on the couch with her sockinged feet resting on the table and her heavily bandaged arm stretched out beside her. He turned the cup in his hand, feeling the heat of it in his palm as she reached up and hooked her fingers through the handle.
"Thank you, Remus." She took a sip, then looked up at him seriously. "Remus, can I ask you a question? And you have every right not to answer. I mean, it is kind of private."
"Go ahead."
"Are you- you know- gay?"
The smile slowly disappeared from his face as her question sank in. He was stunned. How could she possibly think he was-
"Gay?"
"Yeah. It's just, well, you're the total package. I mean, you're incredibly smart." She began ticking off his qualities on her fingers. "You're really nice and funny. You can cook. You treat woman like they're all royalty. Remus, there's nothing about you that every woman doesn't want, yet in all these years, I've never seen you with a girlfriend. You've hung out with them, but never dated one."
He settled onto the couch next to her, staring straight ahead.
"Moira, I am not gay. Believe me, if I were, you'd be the first person to know. However, I am also not quick to jump into anything with anyone. Don't forget, one week a month, I'm really not much fun to be around. Not many women are willing to take that on."
"Oh, I don't know," she said, flipping on her television and snuggling under his arm. "One week a month, I'm not a lot of fun to be around either."
"There's a big difference between bitchy and deadly." He grinned at her.
"Oh, come on Remus. I don't think you're all that bitchy." She grinned back. "So you're positively not gay?"
Remus sat, staring into those big green eyes and small mouth, curved up in a smile. It would probably be his only chance. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She had been caught off-guard, but gave no resistance, even going so far as to lean into him. He grazed her teeth with his tongue and nibbled her bottom lip before leaning back on the couch and diverting his eyes back to the television, completely aware he could go no further. His desire for her was rising too quickly.
She stared at him for what seemed like ages, her eyes wide, fingers touching her lips where, he knew, she could still taste him, as he could still taste her.
"No," she said finally, leaning back on the couch. "You are definitely straight."
"That's what I told you."
Remus was roused from his reverie when the room was suddenly flooded with light. He covered his eyes with his arm, too weak to rise from the cold ground where he lay. The chains were feeling heavier each day.
"Mister Lupin, we meet at last."
Moving his arm just enough to see the figure standing before him, Remus gasped. The hood of the black cloak had been thrown back, revealing the grotesquely smooth face of Lord Voldemort.
Moira was sitting near the edge of the lake, her knees drawn to her chest, a cigarette dangling precariously between her fingers. She didn't turn at the sound of the light footsteps on the grass. She already knew who it was.
"Hello, Sirius."
"Moira. How's everything at the school?"
"Why do you ask?"
He sat beside her.
"Harry said he was serving quite a bit of detention time for you."
"Did he tell you what he did?"
"Just that he lost his temper and insulted both you and Snape. Mind telling me what it was about?"
"Yes. I do." She looked over at him. "You shouldn't be here, Sirius. One of the students might see you."
"It's after midnight and they're all in bed. Besides, I was worried about you. You haven't been by." His eyes fixed on her cigarette as she lifted it to her mouth and took a slow drag. "When did you take up smoking?"
"Not long after you were arrested." She released the smoke, which curled in the crisp December air. "I quit a few years ago."
"I can see that."
"I'm just worried about Remus. He's been gone a long time, and we have no real leads to find him."
Sirius looked into her face, but she didn't look back at him. He studied her eyes and sighed.
"Snape's been digging around. He said it's been quiet with the Death Eaters, like everything has suddenly stopped. Very calm."
"That's what worries me." She looked over at him, the look in her eyes startling him. "Something's about to happen. I know it is. It's always calmest just before the storm."
"Moira, your composure is unsettling."
She looked up at him, gaze steady, resolved.
"What would you have me do? Scream? Tear out my hair? What would that solve?"
"Nothing. It's just, you're being so damned logical!" He stood up, pacing about her as she remained unmoved on the ground, smoking her cigarette. "I'm going out of my mind with worry, and you're sitting here like this is some mental exercise!"
"Sirius, sit down."
"No, I will not sit down. Damn it, Moira! You've been like a machine ever since you came back. Do you feel anything? Are you really worried about Remus, or are you just saying that because you should?"
Moira was on her feet in an instant, staring at Sirius with narrowed eyes, her fists clenched.
"Of course I'm worried, and I'm angry, and I'm scared! But what the hell is that going to do for me? You want me to scream? Huh? Do you want me to cry, so that you can feel better? So that you know I'm sufficiently upset?" She lowered her voice, controlled it. "Don't you ever question whether or not I feel anything again, Sirius. Certainly not where Remus is concerned. I am going to find him, but I need to stay calm in order to do it. I need to be in control. It's the only way."
Sirius stared at her for a long time, stunned by both her words and her ferocity. She had turned away from him, swept her pack of cigarettes back into her hand and was lighting one. Her hands shook just slightly, but even as he watched her, the shaking stopped, as if she were gaining back control. It was at that moment that Sirius realized just how hard she was working to stay calm.