Chapter 10
Mariah Carey
Never Forget You
"Ramsey," Eve began as she touched his arm gently, "if you need a moment," her voice trailed off as he shook his head now determined to make his way in to see his brother once more, "I have to do this Eve."
"I understand, but still," Eve hesitated before taking in a long slow breath, "if you need me, I'll be right here."
"I know you will," Chris nodded giving her one last kiss as he turned back towards the room Jack was in and he wondered how he'd be able to do this, how he'd be able to let go of his brother when all he'd ever wanted was to find some kind of happiness with his family. He now had Juliana and Eve, but losing Jack, it just wasn't something he was ready to face. Giving one last look in Eve's direction, he reached out to the curtain before him ready to say his final good-byes to his brother.
"Oh Chris," Eve felt herself choked up on emotion as she watched him leave her line of vision, "I wish this wasn't how things were."
"Dr. Ramsey," the nurse began interrupting Eve's thoughts.
"Yes?" Eve questioned wiping at her eyes as she turned to face the short, dark-haired woman before her.
"We were getting ready to move the body," the nurse explained, "we'd just ushered out the victim's girlfriend and...."
"Not yet," Eve raised her hand shaking her head firmly, "just give us a few more minutes."
"But..." the nurse objected.
"That's an order," Eve cut back sharply refusing to let anything take Chris away from his brother in these last few minutes they could share with one another.
I won't see your smile
And I won't hear you laugh
Anymore
Every night
I won't see you walk
Through that door
'Cause time wasn't on your side
It isn't right
I can't say I love you
It's too late to tell you
But I really need you to know
Chris took in a nervous, aching breath as he stepped into the room realizing that nothing had prepared him for the sight of his brother's lifeless form before him. He stepped forward hoping to find the strength not to turn and leave as the horrible truth reached deep within every fiber of his being. His heart ached yearning for that one moment of truth to slip away as he hoped his brother would sit upright with that cocky grin that only Jack could offer up in his moments of ironic humor. He'd hoped to hear the words, 'just kidding' fall from his brother's lips, but instead he was met by a great, deafening silence.
Sadly Chris reached for the chair dragging it across the linoleum floor as it made a piercing, screeching sound echoing the crying out Chris was experiencing deep in his heart knowing he would have to bid farewell to his baby brother. Settling in beside Jack, Chris looked at him struggling to find the right words to say to him as nothing came out. The thick silence seemed to expand filling his lungs as the hot tears threatened to explode from his lost, brown eyes. Finally Chris reached out to Jack's hand that was lifelessly dangling over the edge of the bed, naked to the bare warmth the thin sheet had provided his now cold body.
"Hey you," Chris reached for Jack's hand squeezing it gently as he forced a poignant smile, "how is it we always have the worst timing? I told you that we shouldn't have left Port Charles, but I never, ever imagined that at this moment life would have changed so much. When Alison told you she wasn't coming here, and you first asked me, I really didn't want to come here. Leaving Port Charles and all the financial possibilities seemed too much of a sure thing for me to go away to this place with you, yet now that I think about what we've all lost, I think I would've given up all the money I have if I could only have my baby brother back in my life again," Chris blurted out unable to contain his tears as he reached out to Jack touching his face lightly, "you know you were right about this trip being something we needed. Jack, you have no idea what I found," Chris paused choked up on emotion as he spoke to his brother, "I'm a father. Eve and I have a daughter, a baby girl. You know how you had me wish in between drinks, how you had me talk about that one thing I wanted, well it became a dream come true. She found me again and I'm a dad and Jack, Juliana is so beautiful. She's got this spirit about her and I know she'd love you."
Chris smoothed out his brother's hair in a protective, soothing gesture as he continued on, "You know I realize you and I never had a lot of time to really bond while growing up, but I thought that I was doing the right thing for you. I thought that by letting you find a life outside of the one that Henry provided for us, if you can even call it that, well, I thought that you'd find happiness. I had so many thoughts and dreams for you. Even though you weren't with me, I knew that I'd never be complete without you little brother. Even when I left that day, I felt like a part of me was leaving with you and I never, ever recovered, but I was trying to do what was best. I wanted you to have all the things that I knew I'd never have. I wanted you to find love and a way to make it in this world without having to worry about the next con our jerk of a father had up his sleeve. I know I never said it, but Jack, I was so proud of you," Chris let out a soft laugh thinking about things, "here I was trying so hard to shut the world out and keep from being Henry, but then I did something much worse. I lost sight of all that made me a caring person. When I thought I lost Eve and I'd fought so hard to gain respect in Port Charles, I was so jealous of you, so envious of what you had, but now.....now I see it wasn't envy really. It was that I saw in you all the things I wanted to be. I saw the man I wanted to become and you'd succeeded in overcoming that Ramsey curse. You found love and a woman who cared about you, who wanted you in her life and you'd found happiness," Chris kept his eyes on Jack, "I talked to Alison and I know what happened between the two of you. I know how much you mean to her and how much she loves you. She really did believe in it like you did and here we thought that we were unlucky in love, but it turns out that we both had it all this time," Chris trailed off poignantly, "only now you aren't going to be able to savor it."
A harsh silence swept over the room as Chris reached out to Jack moving in closer to him, "Hey remember the time we were kids and we were both trying to get that girl to pay us attention. What was her name again? Rebecca? Robin? Oh who cares..." Chris shook his head, "I remember you and I bet that the first one to get her to flirt with would have to buy the loser dinner and here I was always losing to you. I was always out money and you'd take pleasure in the fact that you seemed to attract people better than I did, but then again you always did Jack. You were a good man with a kind heart, a man that I hoped to be like," Chris continued his voice now shaky as he hugged his brother, "here I am a complete bastard and I have it all, but you.....you didn't deserve this...." Chris finally broke down as he held his brother in an embrace as a parent would with their wounded child, "you deserve so much more than this and it isn't right. Jack, I wish I could trade places with you, somehow make it right because you're the one who deserves the happiness in this world, you're the one who should be enjoying happily ever after. You never hurt anyone like I did. You always did the right thing and yet, here you are...." Chris stammered off unable to find the right words as he hugged Jack tighter not wanting to let go of his baby brother, "I love you, Jack."
Eve watched Chris breaking down as he held Jack and she found herself unable to keep her distance as she crossed the room reaching out to Chris hoping to share in his grief as she placed her hand on his shoulder.
"It should've been me," Chris sobbed as she touched him, "Eve, I shouldn't have been so lucky when he was the one who had it all ahead of him."
"It shouldn't have been either one of you," Eve offered up wrapping her arms around his shoulders as Chris still hung on to Jack, "it shouldn't have happened this way," she confessed her own tears falling on his shoulder as they were lost in the harsh reality of how cold the world could truly be.
[Chorus:]
Oh baby no
I'll never forget you
I'll never let you out of my heart
You will always be here with me
I'll hold on to the memories baby
Alison sat in the chapel struggling to find the words that would reach those above who might be able to answer her prayers. While she'd lost a considerable amount of faith over the last year, she'd never imagined that fate would be so cruel to deal her yet another blow like this. After everything that she and Jack had gone through to reach this point in their lives, she never imagined having to bury him so soon after they'd found love with one another. Closing her eyes she said a silent prayer wanting to reach out to someone who would help her, who would explain to her how life could go from being so beautiful and wonderful to so cold and frightening so fast.
Feeling a soft warmth on her shoulder, Alison opened her eyes as a gasp fell from her lips, "Jack," she rose from her seat spinning around to find Rafe standing behind her, "Rafe...."
"Alison, I know you didn't want to see me before, but I was worried about you," Rafe confessed seeing the sorrow building behind her eyes, "I couldn't just leave you like that."
"Rafe, I want to be alone," She turned away from him feeling her heart aching with the grief of losing Jack.
"Alison, I know you say that and maybe it feels that way now, but I don't think you should be alone right now, not while the pain is running so deep within you."
"The pain will always remain and it won't go away, Rafe," she snapped back at him, "I just lost the man I love. I won't be able to forget that or move beyond it."
"Alison, I wasn't trying to imply that...." he began again.
"You know Rafe," Alison snapped back at him, "what is it about you that suddenly a black cloud follows you where ever you go? Why is it that every time you come into my life, something horrible happens? First I lost Jamal, then Livvie and now Jack. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to realize that I don't want you in my life?"
"Alison, you don't mean that," Rafe reached out to her as she withdrew from his touch as if she'd been burned.
"Yes, yes I do Rafe," she answered harshly, "I just want my life to be like it was before I ever met you. I want to wake up and realize this was all just a horrible dream. That Livvie is still one of my closest friends and that Jack is still here with me. I want to be able to open my eyes and find that they aren't red and aching because I've cried all night. I want to be able to laugh and to smile and know that when I wake up a certain misery won't be looming over my head at every turn I make. I want to know that I can go to the bike shop, go into my home and find myself spending an evening with people who love me, people that I love and we're laughing and joking, sharing silly stories like we don't have a care in the world. That's what I want Rafe."
"Alison, if I could change that. If I could find a way to give you that...." Rafe began sadly.
"But you can't Rafe. You can't give me any of that anymore, can you? You can't make Jack reappear and you can't make Livvie come back to her senses again. You may have been able to work miracles in the past, but this one is even a bit much for you," Alison snapped at him, "while I'd love nothing more than to have you blink your eyes or twitch your fingers and bring back Jack, you can't do that, can you?"
Rafe stood silent as she stepped towards him.
"Can you?" She raised her voice, the anger burning through the surface as she glared at him, "See Rafe, you can't make all my dreams come true now can you?" she spun on her heel as she turned away from him, "just leave."
"Alison, I never, ever meant for Jack to get hurt. I never wanted this, any of this," Rafe explained simply, "I never wanted you to feel this pain. I never, ever wanted you to hurt, to lose so much. I just wanted to help you, to be a part of your life and make you happy, to see your beautiful smile and somehow I'd know it was because I helped make it happen."
"Well take a good, hard look at me now, Rafe," she faced him once more, tears streaming down her face, "I'm not smiling now, am I?"
"Alison," he reached out to her trying to comfort her as she pushed him away.
"Just save it, Rafe," she pushed past him, "not even you can make this right."
"Alison, don't leave like this," Rafe urged as she stopped right before the exit to the chapel, "please."
"Rafe, I can't deal with this right now," Alison explained letting out a tired sigh, "please don't make me hash this out with you."
"I wouldn't make you do that," Rafe shook his head poignantly, "Alison, all I ever wanted was to make you happy. I hope you know that."
"I do Rafe," Alison sighed, "I really do, but now....now's not the time for this."
"No, I suppose it's not," Rafe agreed with a light nod, "For what it's worth though, Jack was a lucky man."
"No," Alison shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes, "on the contrary I was the lucky one because he loved me," she finished giving him one last look before leaving the chapel forcing herself to face the cold, frightening future without the man she loved as Rafe watched her go feeling completely helpless that he hadn't been able to spare Alison this kind of pain.
Now baby can you hear me
Wherever you may be
Tonight
Are you near me
I need you to be
By my side
'Cause I never said goodbye
It isn't right
I should have said I love you
Why didn't I just tell you
God knows I need you to know
"Chris," Eve whispered holding him close to her as the nurse stood in the doorway offering up a look that caused Eve to glare at her. Eve was fully aware of what the hospital wanted, procedure and all, but she refused to take this moment away from the man she loved as it was all he'd had to carry with him.
Chris looked up seeing the nurse as he took in a shallow breath, "It's okay Eve," Chris finally nodded as he slowly rose from the place he'd been in at Jack's side, "I'm ready."
"Are you sure because Chris I can tell them to get lost," Eve began again as he turned to face her, his eyes red from the strain the tears had brought upon him.
"Eve," Chris silenced her placing his index finger over her lips gently, "let's go home. Let's go see our baby girl. Please."
"Alright," Eve nodded as he released her taking one last moment to turn around to look at his brother as she stepped out of the room.
"I love you Jack," Chris whispered trying to hold the memory of the good times with him as he prepared to leave one of the most important aspects of his life behind him, "Where ever you are, I hope that you find the happiness that you weren't able to hold onto in this world. I hope where ever you are that fate is smiling down on you because you of all people deserve it. I'll always love you little brother," he finished knowing that this was only the beginning of a life without the one person he'd fought so hard to protect in it. Life without Jack would go on, but the pain would never truly leave him as Chris vowed to himself he'd make the most of his time with his family, with Eve and Juliana as that would be what Jack would want him to do.
[Chorus]
Oh baby no
I'll never forget you
I'll never let you out of my heart
You will always be here with me
I'll hold on to the memories baby
Somewhere I know you'll be with me
Someday in another time
But right now you're gone
You just vanished away
But I'll never leave you behind
Alison entered the bedroom at the pueblo still feeling the horror of the shooting hang over her as she noticed Jack's blood still on the carpet. Her eyes misted over with hot tears at the knowledge that their time together had come to a close. Their lives wouldn't be as they'd planned. She'd never be able to hold him again, to kiss him, to make love to him and share her thoughts and dreams with him. He was gone and nothing she could do would bring him back to her. That in itself was the one thing that tore her apart.
As Alison crossed the room, she noticed one of his shirts, the one he'd worn the night she'd come to him still on the floor near the far wall. She picked the shirt up raising it to her face as his scent flooded over her senses. Tearfully she hugged the shirt to her face, feeling a part of him over her as she let out a soft smile. Making her way over to the bed where they'd spent the night in one another's arms not more than twenty four hours ago lost in the love they'd found in one another, she sat down wanting to keep close to Jack as she snuggled up with his shirt. Curling up into a ball, Alison lay on the mattress closing her eyes as his shirt wrapped over her, holding her with the memory of Jack that she wouldn't be able to let go of.
"Oh Jack," Alison cried out unable to contain her tears as she squeezed the shirt tighter, "Why did it have to be this way? What did we do that was so wrong?" she questioned crying herself to sleep as her dreams were filled of the one night of magic she and Jack shared together before the world fell apart.
[Chorus]
Oh baby no
I'll never forget you
I'll never let you out of my heart
You will always be here with me
I'll hold on to the memories baby
Rafe sat in the chapel, thinking of what had taken place earlier with Alison as she lay with Jack, her heart breaking at the loss of someone very special in her life. With a heavy heart, he looked to the heavens seeking out the answers to the situation he'd found himself in as he thought of his own second chance at life.
"Why do things like this keep happening to her?" Rafe questioned painfully, "Why Alison? What has she done to deserve any of this? Why?"
Rafe bowed his head lost in the silence of the unanswered questions circling in his mind as he realized just what losing Jack would do for Alison. He was her best friend and while things had been complicated lately in all of their situations, it was painfully obvious that Jack meant something very special to Alison. Now as Rafe sat in the silence of the tiny chapel, he wondered why things had to happen as they had, why so many others had to suffer at such a high price.
"This isn't your battle to fight kid," Rafe heard Ed's voice speak out to him as he lifted his head to find his father standing before him.
"How can you say that?" Rafe questioned painfully, "Alison is hurting. She just lost someone very special to her."
"Kid, this isn't something you can fix," Ed sighed, "you knew what you were getting into coming down here and this time isn't like the last...."
"Why not? Why not just pull a few strings just this one time? Why make Alison suffer like this when we both know she's a kind hearted soul. She doesn't deserve any of this and neither does Jack."
"My hands are tied," Ed shook his head poignantly, "the wheels have been set in motion."
"That's not a good enough answer and you know it," Rafe snapped at him, "we both know if you pull a few strings here and there anything is possible. A miracle is just tucked up your sleeve waiting for a rainy day and I'd have to say right now it feels like a downpour."
"Rafe, do you realize what it is you're asking me," Ed blinked back at his son.
"What I realize is that two amazing, wonderful women have been destroyed by my actions and one man is dead because of it," Rafe blurted out angrily, "I came here to help people, to fight evil and when evil took on an innocent victim, I just sat back and watched it happen. I should've been able to save her, but I couldn't."
"Alison's fate was not in your hands," Ed pointed out.
"I'm not talking about Alison right now," Rafe shook his head, "I'm talking about Livvie. Look at her. I know you know what's been happening to her. She's destroyed everyone she loves and herself in this quest for revenge, this quest that you and I both know never would've come into fruition had it not been for Caleb."
"Caleb's existence was wiped out long ago and what Livvie does now is of her own free will."
"I don't believe that," Rafe argued, "and deep down neither do you. To see all she's done....Ed, Alison is her best friend. They laughed together, shared secrets with one another and enjoyed each other, but now....now Livvie murdered a man she once cared about because of the darkness that Caleb put into her. She lost control and as a man who fights evil, I should've done a better job at saving her."
"Rafe, that wasn't your responsibility," Ed sighed as he stepped towards his son, "Livvie's made her choices and now there are consequences."
"But at what price will it cost everyone else? Livvie's lost all control, Alison's lost her heart to this misery she's wrapped up in and Jack lost his life. When does the madness end? When do we do our jobs and start being the guardian angels that we set out to be? When do we finally say enough is enough and we do something to change things."
"Kid, you and I both know that this time around....." Ed began again.
"Forget what I know. I want to fix this and I need it done now before it's too late."
"Rafe, I don't think you realize the weight of the favor you're asking me to do for you. To do something like this it's just...." Ed was stopped as another voice entered the room.
"It's just preposterous," James interrupted shaking his head disapprovingly, "you don't really want to do this my dear boy, now do you?"
"James, what are you doing here?" Ed frowned in response.
"I'm just reminding Rafe here of why he shouldn't ask this favor of you," James approached the two of them, "because the way I see it, if I'm understanding this correctly, he's asking for you to bring the young man back to life who's taken his precious Alison's heart from him. Rafe, you sold your soul to be with Alison again, to be able to hold her and keep her safe, yet here you are begging for the life of a man she has seemingly given her heart to," James let out a tsking sound as he shook his head, "It hardly seems a fair price to lose the girl in the end anyways."
"It's a price I'm willing to pay," Rafe insisted determined as he stood taller, "Alison's happiness means everything to me and I'll do whatever it takes to see to it that she's able to keep her happiness."
"Even if it means losing your own?" James questioned with a curious brow.
"Even if that's the case, although," Rafe glanced back over at Ed, "I think that maybe there is something meant for me to do in this world and bringing Jack Ramsey back to life will help me make it right even now. There are others who need my help."
"And you're sure about this?" Ed questioned a bit apprehensive as he saw the determination behind his son's eyes.
"You know me enough to know I have to do the right thing," Rafe nodded, "even if it's at a price, you know me well enough to know I won't back down when my mind is set on something."
"But you could lose Alison," James piped in once more, "all your struggles to get to her, to be one with her, will be in vain."
"On the contrary," Rafe shook his head, "the journey was really what it was that I needed. I'd thought that I knew where I was supposed to be, but that's the thing about life, it seldom goes as you plan," Rafe let out an ironic laugh, "and as my cousin Lucy always says, the universe works in strange ways."
"Indeed it does, my son," Ed nodded in agreement as he offered up a knowing smile, "I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you," Rafe answered now hopeful as he thought to what his request could do for so many others.
"Don't thank me yet," Ed offered up, "I have to clear it with the big guy first, but I'll see what I can do."
"That's the best I can ask for," Rafe decided as he rose from the seat he was in making his way to the door exiting the chapel as James glared at Ed furiously.
"You can't be really thinking about giving Jack Ramsey another chance, can you?" James raised a curious brow as he looked to his adversary.
"It looks like this battle of good versus has finally taken a turn in our favor," Ed answered proudly, "and it looks like that contract of yours is obsolete as well."
"How do you figure?" James questioned skeptically.
"The way I see it, Rafe learned far more an important lesson today than any other he's had thus far," Ed explained simply, "he took those he cared about and put their happiness above all else knowing what he could lose in the process. That is an unselfish act full of the purest emotion which goes against the fine print on that contract you made for his soul."
"Your son is a fool," James hissed at him, "he's going to lose everything he fought so hard to get back to Earth for."
"Still, he recaptured his soul and in the process, he learned something you still have yet to grasp on to," Ed insisted firmly, "He learned the true meaning of love and he's made me a very proud father. My son turned out to be a good man," Ed glanced over at the doors Rafe had just exited from, "and I know that he's going to have a life full of happiness ahead of him even without Alison by his side. That much I'm sure of. It's in the cards."
"Not if I can help it," James hissed back at him.
"The ball isn't in your court anymore," Ed boasted proudly, "your stake on his ever after is now null and void, so from this moment on, where my son goes and what he does is no longer your business. Happily ever after awaits him and you won't screw that up for him. You have my word on that."
Mariah Carey
Never Forget You
"Ramsey," Eve began as she touched his arm gently, "if you need a moment," her voice trailed off as he shook his head now determined to make his way in to see his brother once more, "I have to do this Eve."
"I understand, but still," Eve hesitated before taking in a long slow breath, "if you need me, I'll be right here."
"I know you will," Chris nodded giving her one last kiss as he turned back towards the room Jack was in and he wondered how he'd be able to do this, how he'd be able to let go of his brother when all he'd ever wanted was to find some kind of happiness with his family. He now had Juliana and Eve, but losing Jack, it just wasn't something he was ready to face. Giving one last look in Eve's direction, he reached out to the curtain before him ready to say his final good-byes to his brother.
"Oh Chris," Eve felt herself choked up on emotion as she watched him leave her line of vision, "I wish this wasn't how things were."
"Dr. Ramsey," the nurse began interrupting Eve's thoughts.
"Yes?" Eve questioned wiping at her eyes as she turned to face the short, dark-haired woman before her.
"We were getting ready to move the body," the nurse explained, "we'd just ushered out the victim's girlfriend and...."
"Not yet," Eve raised her hand shaking her head firmly, "just give us a few more minutes."
"But..." the nurse objected.
"That's an order," Eve cut back sharply refusing to let anything take Chris away from his brother in these last few minutes they could share with one another.
I won't see your smile
And I won't hear you laugh
Anymore
Every night
I won't see you walk
Through that door
'Cause time wasn't on your side
It isn't right
I can't say I love you
It's too late to tell you
But I really need you to know
Chris took in a nervous, aching breath as he stepped into the room realizing that nothing had prepared him for the sight of his brother's lifeless form before him. He stepped forward hoping to find the strength not to turn and leave as the horrible truth reached deep within every fiber of his being. His heart ached yearning for that one moment of truth to slip away as he hoped his brother would sit upright with that cocky grin that only Jack could offer up in his moments of ironic humor. He'd hoped to hear the words, 'just kidding' fall from his brother's lips, but instead he was met by a great, deafening silence.
Sadly Chris reached for the chair dragging it across the linoleum floor as it made a piercing, screeching sound echoing the crying out Chris was experiencing deep in his heart knowing he would have to bid farewell to his baby brother. Settling in beside Jack, Chris looked at him struggling to find the right words to say to him as nothing came out. The thick silence seemed to expand filling his lungs as the hot tears threatened to explode from his lost, brown eyes. Finally Chris reached out to Jack's hand that was lifelessly dangling over the edge of the bed, naked to the bare warmth the thin sheet had provided his now cold body.
"Hey you," Chris reached for Jack's hand squeezing it gently as he forced a poignant smile, "how is it we always have the worst timing? I told you that we shouldn't have left Port Charles, but I never, ever imagined that at this moment life would have changed so much. When Alison told you she wasn't coming here, and you first asked me, I really didn't want to come here. Leaving Port Charles and all the financial possibilities seemed too much of a sure thing for me to go away to this place with you, yet now that I think about what we've all lost, I think I would've given up all the money I have if I could only have my baby brother back in my life again," Chris blurted out unable to contain his tears as he reached out to Jack touching his face lightly, "you know you were right about this trip being something we needed. Jack, you have no idea what I found," Chris paused choked up on emotion as he spoke to his brother, "I'm a father. Eve and I have a daughter, a baby girl. You know how you had me wish in between drinks, how you had me talk about that one thing I wanted, well it became a dream come true. She found me again and I'm a dad and Jack, Juliana is so beautiful. She's got this spirit about her and I know she'd love you."
Chris smoothed out his brother's hair in a protective, soothing gesture as he continued on, "You know I realize you and I never had a lot of time to really bond while growing up, but I thought that I was doing the right thing for you. I thought that by letting you find a life outside of the one that Henry provided for us, if you can even call it that, well, I thought that you'd find happiness. I had so many thoughts and dreams for you. Even though you weren't with me, I knew that I'd never be complete without you little brother. Even when I left that day, I felt like a part of me was leaving with you and I never, ever recovered, but I was trying to do what was best. I wanted you to have all the things that I knew I'd never have. I wanted you to find love and a way to make it in this world without having to worry about the next con our jerk of a father had up his sleeve. I know I never said it, but Jack, I was so proud of you," Chris let out a soft laugh thinking about things, "here I was trying so hard to shut the world out and keep from being Henry, but then I did something much worse. I lost sight of all that made me a caring person. When I thought I lost Eve and I'd fought so hard to gain respect in Port Charles, I was so jealous of you, so envious of what you had, but now.....now I see it wasn't envy really. It was that I saw in you all the things I wanted to be. I saw the man I wanted to become and you'd succeeded in overcoming that Ramsey curse. You found love and a woman who cared about you, who wanted you in her life and you'd found happiness," Chris kept his eyes on Jack, "I talked to Alison and I know what happened between the two of you. I know how much you mean to her and how much she loves you. She really did believe in it like you did and here we thought that we were unlucky in love, but it turns out that we both had it all this time," Chris trailed off poignantly, "only now you aren't going to be able to savor it."
A harsh silence swept over the room as Chris reached out to Jack moving in closer to him, "Hey remember the time we were kids and we were both trying to get that girl to pay us attention. What was her name again? Rebecca? Robin? Oh who cares..." Chris shook his head, "I remember you and I bet that the first one to get her to flirt with would have to buy the loser dinner and here I was always losing to you. I was always out money and you'd take pleasure in the fact that you seemed to attract people better than I did, but then again you always did Jack. You were a good man with a kind heart, a man that I hoped to be like," Chris continued his voice now shaky as he hugged his brother, "here I am a complete bastard and I have it all, but you.....you didn't deserve this...." Chris finally broke down as he held his brother in an embrace as a parent would with their wounded child, "you deserve so much more than this and it isn't right. Jack, I wish I could trade places with you, somehow make it right because you're the one who deserves the happiness in this world, you're the one who should be enjoying happily ever after. You never hurt anyone like I did. You always did the right thing and yet, here you are...." Chris stammered off unable to find the right words as he hugged Jack tighter not wanting to let go of his baby brother, "I love you, Jack."
Eve watched Chris breaking down as he held Jack and she found herself unable to keep her distance as she crossed the room reaching out to Chris hoping to share in his grief as she placed her hand on his shoulder.
"It should've been me," Chris sobbed as she touched him, "Eve, I shouldn't have been so lucky when he was the one who had it all ahead of him."
"It shouldn't have been either one of you," Eve offered up wrapping her arms around his shoulders as Chris still hung on to Jack, "it shouldn't have happened this way," she confessed her own tears falling on his shoulder as they were lost in the harsh reality of how cold the world could truly be.
[Chorus:]
Oh baby no
I'll never forget you
I'll never let you out of my heart
You will always be here with me
I'll hold on to the memories baby
Alison sat in the chapel struggling to find the words that would reach those above who might be able to answer her prayers. While she'd lost a considerable amount of faith over the last year, she'd never imagined that fate would be so cruel to deal her yet another blow like this. After everything that she and Jack had gone through to reach this point in their lives, she never imagined having to bury him so soon after they'd found love with one another. Closing her eyes she said a silent prayer wanting to reach out to someone who would help her, who would explain to her how life could go from being so beautiful and wonderful to so cold and frightening so fast.
Feeling a soft warmth on her shoulder, Alison opened her eyes as a gasp fell from her lips, "Jack," she rose from her seat spinning around to find Rafe standing behind her, "Rafe...."
"Alison, I know you didn't want to see me before, but I was worried about you," Rafe confessed seeing the sorrow building behind her eyes, "I couldn't just leave you like that."
"Rafe, I want to be alone," She turned away from him feeling her heart aching with the grief of losing Jack.
"Alison, I know you say that and maybe it feels that way now, but I don't think you should be alone right now, not while the pain is running so deep within you."
"The pain will always remain and it won't go away, Rafe," she snapped back at him, "I just lost the man I love. I won't be able to forget that or move beyond it."
"Alison, I wasn't trying to imply that...." he began again.
"You know Rafe," Alison snapped back at him, "what is it about you that suddenly a black cloud follows you where ever you go? Why is it that every time you come into my life, something horrible happens? First I lost Jamal, then Livvie and now Jack. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to realize that I don't want you in my life?"
"Alison, you don't mean that," Rafe reached out to her as she withdrew from his touch as if she'd been burned.
"Yes, yes I do Rafe," she answered harshly, "I just want my life to be like it was before I ever met you. I want to wake up and realize this was all just a horrible dream. That Livvie is still one of my closest friends and that Jack is still here with me. I want to be able to open my eyes and find that they aren't red and aching because I've cried all night. I want to be able to laugh and to smile and know that when I wake up a certain misery won't be looming over my head at every turn I make. I want to know that I can go to the bike shop, go into my home and find myself spending an evening with people who love me, people that I love and we're laughing and joking, sharing silly stories like we don't have a care in the world. That's what I want Rafe."
"Alison, if I could change that. If I could find a way to give you that...." Rafe began sadly.
"But you can't Rafe. You can't give me any of that anymore, can you? You can't make Jack reappear and you can't make Livvie come back to her senses again. You may have been able to work miracles in the past, but this one is even a bit much for you," Alison snapped at him, "while I'd love nothing more than to have you blink your eyes or twitch your fingers and bring back Jack, you can't do that, can you?"
Rafe stood silent as she stepped towards him.
"Can you?" She raised her voice, the anger burning through the surface as she glared at him, "See Rafe, you can't make all my dreams come true now can you?" she spun on her heel as she turned away from him, "just leave."
"Alison, I never, ever meant for Jack to get hurt. I never wanted this, any of this," Rafe explained simply, "I never wanted you to feel this pain. I never, ever wanted you to hurt, to lose so much. I just wanted to help you, to be a part of your life and make you happy, to see your beautiful smile and somehow I'd know it was because I helped make it happen."
"Well take a good, hard look at me now, Rafe," she faced him once more, tears streaming down her face, "I'm not smiling now, am I?"
"Alison," he reached out to her trying to comfort her as she pushed him away.
"Just save it, Rafe," she pushed past him, "not even you can make this right."
"Alison, don't leave like this," Rafe urged as she stopped right before the exit to the chapel, "please."
"Rafe, I can't deal with this right now," Alison explained letting out a tired sigh, "please don't make me hash this out with you."
"I wouldn't make you do that," Rafe shook his head poignantly, "Alison, all I ever wanted was to make you happy. I hope you know that."
"I do Rafe," Alison sighed, "I really do, but now....now's not the time for this."
"No, I suppose it's not," Rafe agreed with a light nod, "For what it's worth though, Jack was a lucky man."
"No," Alison shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes, "on the contrary I was the lucky one because he loved me," she finished giving him one last look before leaving the chapel forcing herself to face the cold, frightening future without the man she loved as Rafe watched her go feeling completely helpless that he hadn't been able to spare Alison this kind of pain.
Now baby can you hear me
Wherever you may be
Tonight
Are you near me
I need you to be
By my side
'Cause I never said goodbye
It isn't right
I should have said I love you
Why didn't I just tell you
God knows I need you to know
"Chris," Eve whispered holding him close to her as the nurse stood in the doorway offering up a look that caused Eve to glare at her. Eve was fully aware of what the hospital wanted, procedure and all, but she refused to take this moment away from the man she loved as it was all he'd had to carry with him.
Chris looked up seeing the nurse as he took in a shallow breath, "It's okay Eve," Chris finally nodded as he slowly rose from the place he'd been in at Jack's side, "I'm ready."
"Are you sure because Chris I can tell them to get lost," Eve began again as he turned to face her, his eyes red from the strain the tears had brought upon him.
"Eve," Chris silenced her placing his index finger over her lips gently, "let's go home. Let's go see our baby girl. Please."
"Alright," Eve nodded as he released her taking one last moment to turn around to look at his brother as she stepped out of the room.
"I love you Jack," Chris whispered trying to hold the memory of the good times with him as he prepared to leave one of the most important aspects of his life behind him, "Where ever you are, I hope that you find the happiness that you weren't able to hold onto in this world. I hope where ever you are that fate is smiling down on you because you of all people deserve it. I'll always love you little brother," he finished knowing that this was only the beginning of a life without the one person he'd fought so hard to protect in it. Life without Jack would go on, but the pain would never truly leave him as Chris vowed to himself he'd make the most of his time with his family, with Eve and Juliana as that would be what Jack would want him to do.
[Chorus]
Oh baby no
I'll never forget you
I'll never let you out of my heart
You will always be here with me
I'll hold on to the memories baby
Somewhere I know you'll be with me
Someday in another time
But right now you're gone
You just vanished away
But I'll never leave you behind
Alison entered the bedroom at the pueblo still feeling the horror of the shooting hang over her as she noticed Jack's blood still on the carpet. Her eyes misted over with hot tears at the knowledge that their time together had come to a close. Their lives wouldn't be as they'd planned. She'd never be able to hold him again, to kiss him, to make love to him and share her thoughts and dreams with him. He was gone and nothing she could do would bring him back to her. That in itself was the one thing that tore her apart.
As Alison crossed the room, she noticed one of his shirts, the one he'd worn the night she'd come to him still on the floor near the far wall. She picked the shirt up raising it to her face as his scent flooded over her senses. Tearfully she hugged the shirt to her face, feeling a part of him over her as she let out a soft smile. Making her way over to the bed where they'd spent the night in one another's arms not more than twenty four hours ago lost in the love they'd found in one another, she sat down wanting to keep close to Jack as she snuggled up with his shirt. Curling up into a ball, Alison lay on the mattress closing her eyes as his shirt wrapped over her, holding her with the memory of Jack that she wouldn't be able to let go of.
"Oh Jack," Alison cried out unable to contain her tears as she squeezed the shirt tighter, "Why did it have to be this way? What did we do that was so wrong?" she questioned crying herself to sleep as her dreams were filled of the one night of magic she and Jack shared together before the world fell apart.
[Chorus]
Oh baby no
I'll never forget you
I'll never let you out of my heart
You will always be here with me
I'll hold on to the memories baby
Rafe sat in the chapel, thinking of what had taken place earlier with Alison as she lay with Jack, her heart breaking at the loss of someone very special in her life. With a heavy heart, he looked to the heavens seeking out the answers to the situation he'd found himself in as he thought of his own second chance at life.
"Why do things like this keep happening to her?" Rafe questioned painfully, "Why Alison? What has she done to deserve any of this? Why?"
Rafe bowed his head lost in the silence of the unanswered questions circling in his mind as he realized just what losing Jack would do for Alison. He was her best friend and while things had been complicated lately in all of their situations, it was painfully obvious that Jack meant something very special to Alison. Now as Rafe sat in the silence of the tiny chapel, he wondered why things had to happen as they had, why so many others had to suffer at such a high price.
"This isn't your battle to fight kid," Rafe heard Ed's voice speak out to him as he lifted his head to find his father standing before him.
"How can you say that?" Rafe questioned painfully, "Alison is hurting. She just lost someone very special to her."
"Kid, this isn't something you can fix," Ed sighed, "you knew what you were getting into coming down here and this time isn't like the last...."
"Why not? Why not just pull a few strings just this one time? Why make Alison suffer like this when we both know she's a kind hearted soul. She doesn't deserve any of this and neither does Jack."
"My hands are tied," Ed shook his head poignantly, "the wheels have been set in motion."
"That's not a good enough answer and you know it," Rafe snapped at him, "we both know if you pull a few strings here and there anything is possible. A miracle is just tucked up your sleeve waiting for a rainy day and I'd have to say right now it feels like a downpour."
"Rafe, do you realize what it is you're asking me," Ed blinked back at his son.
"What I realize is that two amazing, wonderful women have been destroyed by my actions and one man is dead because of it," Rafe blurted out angrily, "I came here to help people, to fight evil and when evil took on an innocent victim, I just sat back and watched it happen. I should've been able to save her, but I couldn't."
"Alison's fate was not in your hands," Ed pointed out.
"I'm not talking about Alison right now," Rafe shook his head, "I'm talking about Livvie. Look at her. I know you know what's been happening to her. She's destroyed everyone she loves and herself in this quest for revenge, this quest that you and I both know never would've come into fruition had it not been for Caleb."
"Caleb's existence was wiped out long ago and what Livvie does now is of her own free will."
"I don't believe that," Rafe argued, "and deep down neither do you. To see all she's done....Ed, Alison is her best friend. They laughed together, shared secrets with one another and enjoyed each other, but now....now Livvie murdered a man she once cared about because of the darkness that Caleb put into her. She lost control and as a man who fights evil, I should've done a better job at saving her."
"Rafe, that wasn't your responsibility," Ed sighed as he stepped towards his son, "Livvie's made her choices and now there are consequences."
"But at what price will it cost everyone else? Livvie's lost all control, Alison's lost her heart to this misery she's wrapped up in and Jack lost his life. When does the madness end? When do we do our jobs and start being the guardian angels that we set out to be? When do we finally say enough is enough and we do something to change things."
"Kid, you and I both know that this time around....." Ed began again.
"Forget what I know. I want to fix this and I need it done now before it's too late."
"Rafe, I don't think you realize the weight of the favor you're asking me to do for you. To do something like this it's just...." Ed was stopped as another voice entered the room.
"It's just preposterous," James interrupted shaking his head disapprovingly, "you don't really want to do this my dear boy, now do you?"
"James, what are you doing here?" Ed frowned in response.
"I'm just reminding Rafe here of why he shouldn't ask this favor of you," James approached the two of them, "because the way I see it, if I'm understanding this correctly, he's asking for you to bring the young man back to life who's taken his precious Alison's heart from him. Rafe, you sold your soul to be with Alison again, to be able to hold her and keep her safe, yet here you are begging for the life of a man she has seemingly given her heart to," James let out a tsking sound as he shook his head, "It hardly seems a fair price to lose the girl in the end anyways."
"It's a price I'm willing to pay," Rafe insisted determined as he stood taller, "Alison's happiness means everything to me and I'll do whatever it takes to see to it that she's able to keep her happiness."
"Even if it means losing your own?" James questioned with a curious brow.
"Even if that's the case, although," Rafe glanced back over at Ed, "I think that maybe there is something meant for me to do in this world and bringing Jack Ramsey back to life will help me make it right even now. There are others who need my help."
"And you're sure about this?" Ed questioned a bit apprehensive as he saw the determination behind his son's eyes.
"You know me enough to know I have to do the right thing," Rafe nodded, "even if it's at a price, you know me well enough to know I won't back down when my mind is set on something."
"But you could lose Alison," James piped in once more, "all your struggles to get to her, to be one with her, will be in vain."
"On the contrary," Rafe shook his head, "the journey was really what it was that I needed. I'd thought that I knew where I was supposed to be, but that's the thing about life, it seldom goes as you plan," Rafe let out an ironic laugh, "and as my cousin Lucy always says, the universe works in strange ways."
"Indeed it does, my son," Ed nodded in agreement as he offered up a knowing smile, "I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you," Rafe answered now hopeful as he thought to what his request could do for so many others.
"Don't thank me yet," Ed offered up, "I have to clear it with the big guy first, but I'll see what I can do."
"That's the best I can ask for," Rafe decided as he rose from the seat he was in making his way to the door exiting the chapel as James glared at Ed furiously.
"You can't be really thinking about giving Jack Ramsey another chance, can you?" James raised a curious brow as he looked to his adversary.
"It looks like this battle of good versus has finally taken a turn in our favor," Ed answered proudly, "and it looks like that contract of yours is obsolete as well."
"How do you figure?" James questioned skeptically.
"The way I see it, Rafe learned far more an important lesson today than any other he's had thus far," Ed explained simply, "he took those he cared about and put their happiness above all else knowing what he could lose in the process. That is an unselfish act full of the purest emotion which goes against the fine print on that contract you made for his soul."
"Your son is a fool," James hissed at him, "he's going to lose everything he fought so hard to get back to Earth for."
"Still, he recaptured his soul and in the process, he learned something you still have yet to grasp on to," Ed insisted firmly, "He learned the true meaning of love and he's made me a very proud father. My son turned out to be a good man," Ed glanced over at the doors Rafe had just exited from, "and I know that he's going to have a life full of happiness ahead of him even without Alison by his side. That much I'm sure of. It's in the cards."
"Not if I can help it," James hissed back at him.
"The ball isn't in your court anymore," Ed boasted proudly, "your stake on his ever after is now null and void, so from this moment on, where my son goes and what he does is no longer your business. Happily ever after awaits him and you won't screw that up for him. You have my word on that."