Lily, the Vampire Slayer
by: archerlupin003
A/N: Thanks for all the great feedback/reviews. They really kept me going. Hi to Domz (Padfootz), Clarz (Prongsy), Mech (Wormy) and Steph (Turnipz)[not mad at ya for getting our account canceled.] Thanks for giving me all the support I needed to have to post this. And thanks especially to my brother who helped me come up with this idea and telling me to shut up about its stupidity and just write already. Love ya, bro.
CHAPTER THREE
Brrrrring!!!
Brrrrring!!!
Brrrrring!!!
"Oh, fuck!" Lily groaned as she turned around, covering her head with a pillow, trying to squash out the sound of the alarm clock.
Trying being the key word.
She groaned and slammed her palm down on the clock, silencing the annoying buzzing sound, which exuded from it.
She had gotten in late last night. Well, today, actually. About three in the morning. Some of the vamps in the train station gave her some attitude, called some of their friends from the local graveyard and had one helluva time. Well, she had been the one to have most of the fun.
Simply put, she kicked some major undead ass.
The only problem was, she couldn't find her way back into the castle. When she finally did, well, it was near dawn.
She yawned, sat up, rubbed her sore neck, trying to get rid of the kinks and stood up. She grabbed a towel, her uniform and robe and trotted towards the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later, she emerged from the room and walked towards the Great Hall.
As she entered, she could feel the hairs on the back of her neck start to prickle up, something she fondly called her Slayer Sense.
Before she could figure out what could've triggered it, something wet splashed down on her, something wet and sticky.
She trailed her fingers through her now damp AND now sticky hair and looked at the substance. It was colored pink and smelled way off.
"Crap!" She swore, trying to keep her voice down.
She had been doused with some kind of potion, that or pink lemonade. Really thick pink lemonade.
She looked around the hall; everyone was staring at her, shocked. Then someone started laughing, who else could it be but Sirius Black? It was a very bad idea. The whole hall followed suit.
She couldn't care less if they laughed 'til they dropped dead but she had a sneaking suspicion as to who had played the prank on her.
As she walked towards him and his little gang, she could feel herself getting taller.
Probably what the potion was supposed to do.
They apparently thought that she would run out of the room crying from the embarrassment, but she didn't give a damn about what other people thought.
Like scars, they would heal, was what she always said.
But like scars they leave their marks, was Ernie's reply.
Only if you let them get to you, was her comeback.
The height they gave her would be a great advantage.
She faced the now hysterical Black who had a smug Cassiopeia by his side and sweetly asked, "Black, can I see you in the corridor for a moment?"
"What for, Lily dear?" he imitated her tone.
Quick as lightning, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the hall amidst boisterous laughter and Cassiopeia's confused conversations with Potter, Pettigrew and Lupin.
When they were out of the teacher's view, Sirius shook himself out of her grip, crossed his arms over his chest and egoistically queried, "So couldn't wait to be alone with me?"
She growled, grabbed him by the collar of his robes (using both hands) and lifted him off the floor to come face to face with her now six foot five frame.
"Egotistical bastard, aren't ya? I mean, hello, who'd go for you? Well, Ermstead would since she's too much of a dumbass to notice how big of a jerk you are. I mean, hello, you go pourin' some sorta crap all over a girl that would, if that girl weren't me, embarrass her to death then hit on her? How much've an idiot do you think I am?
"You're probably pissed 'cause I hurt your little girlfriend's feelings, aren't ya?"
She could hear footsteps come from behind her. Four sets of footfalls, to be exact. And by the sound of them, they seemed to be students.
"Oh, here comes the cavalry, whoopee for you. Well, tell your anorexic girlfriend to keep her surgically enhanced nose out of other people's business."
She dropped him and left. Well, before she left him, she kicked him in the gut.
Then she tried to find the clinic or something like that and ran into a really short almost dwarf-like man.
"Hey, mister," she called out.
"Yes?"
"Um, can you tell me, uh, where can I find the school hospital?"
He gave her the directions she needed, said that he looked forward to seeing her in his class, she thanked him and followed the instructions that he gave her and ended up in the infirmary.
"Hello?" she tentatively called out, seeing that no one was around.
"In the back, dear," a voice called out.
She followed the sound of the woman's voice and came face to face with a room filled with various colored beakers and flasks.
"What do you need, dear?" a young looking woman asked her.
She hated being called dear, but in this case, she let it pass since she needed the woman's help.
"I need something to stop me from growing taller 'cause I got doused with this stuff that-"
She held up a hand. "No need to explain. I'm Madame Pomfrey. But I will have to ask one question, though. Potter or Black?"
"Hi, I'm Lily, Lily Evans. And it was Black. I don't even wanna know why you think it was either one of them."
She smiled then led Lily to a hospital-like bed and asked her to sit.
She complied and the nurse went off to get something to cure her rapidly growing height.
Madame Pomfrey returned and gave her a green colored liquid to drink.
She shrugged and drank it all up.
Then almost spat it out.
"Crud! That stuff tastes like, ugh!, something gross."
The nurse gave her a sympathetic smile, took the goblet from her hands then stopped, brushed Lily's hair aside and brushed her hand over Lily's temple.
"What?" Lily asked, a bit irate.
"You have got a large scar on your right temple," the nurse was shocked.
"Oh, uh, I fell outta bed this morning."
"It looks very old."
"I'm a fast healer."
"Wait here," she instructed as she disappeared into the backroom once more.
"Right," she mumbled, fidgeting about due to restlessness.
After a few moments, Madame Pomfrey returned, carrying a bottle filled with a yellowish-green pus-like substance.
"This will sting a bit."
"Okay." She was uncomfortable about letting the nurse cure her scar. Ernie was about the only person she had let touch her.
She was, you could say, allergic to human or physical contact.
Unless it required beating them up, that she could deal.
"Thanks," she smiled after the nurse was done.
Madame Pomfrey nodded. "Take care of yourself, one's body is very delicate."
"Yeah, thanks for the advice and all the other shit," she smiled and for the first time to anyone else but Ernie, sincerely.
The nurse didn't know what to make of her thank you, what with the word shit in it, so she just stared at the young girl in front her before nodding and turning to return to the backroom.
**********************************************************************************
"Miss Evans, so good of you to join us," Professor McGonagall, formerly known as Lurch greeted cattily.
Lily rolled her eyes, exasperated.
She had been drenched in some weird substance, grown a million inches, beaten up the guy who did that crap to her, endlessly searched for the medical ward, ran up and down the longest flight of stairs she had seen in her entire in less than two minutes, stuff her pack full of the needed supplies for the day and go looking for a classroom she had no idea existed.
And now, to top it all of, Lurch was giving her shit.
And she had to be nice about it.
"Sorry, I had to go to the nurse's office 'cause I got something dumped all over me and it kinda did something and made me grow taller and I had-" she had begun to explain when she was cut off.
"Miss Evans, I did not ask for an explanation, now sit down. That seat on the right."
"Well," she smiled. "All I really wanted to say was, you take my explanation," she moved closer to the chair, dropped her bag onto the floor and continued, "And stick it up your skinny ass."
She plopped down on the chair and propped her feet on top of the table.
A person could only take so much, Slayer or no Slayer.
And she watched with satisfaction as she saw Lurch turn from white to red in an alarming rate.
"Miss Evans! Twenty points from Gryffindor and detention for three days!"
"Three days only? Man, you can't give a punishment to save your life. What is this, favoritism or something? 'Cause I heard that if someone dissed you the way I did, you'd give them hell or something. So just 'cause I'm in your group or house or whatever. Man, does the school system suck or what?"
She knew she was being mean, well, evil, actually. Not evil, bad evil, but evil, never mind. Anyway, she did what she did just to piss the teacher off. It was actually very funny watching the different reactions from various teachers.
She could set up a study on varying human emotions when exposed to several situations.
Right, whatever.
Now, Lurch's hair was falling out of her strict hairstyle and red splotches appeared on her face.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor!" she screeched, looking very much like a haggard vulture. "And two month's detention! Now, you will march up to Professor Dumbledore's office this instant. Mr. Lupin, please direct her to the Headmaster's office. I do not want to see her face in my classroom until she has been taught to have manners."
"You can be taught them, but never apply them," she couldn't resist having the last word as Remus took her by the elbow and half-dragged, half-escorted her out the door.
The moment they were out of Lurch's side, Lily shrugged out of Remus' grip and walked away.
"It's over here," he called out.
"What?" she turned around.
"The Headmaster's office," he said without any smugness.
"Oh, right, whoopee for me."
"Well, I'm sorry, for what Sirius and James did," he cautiously ventured to make conversation.
"Right," she snorted, unbelieving.
"Really, you should try to be a bit nicer to people. Cassie was actually very shocked at the way you treated her and James and Sirius were, well, they're very protective of their friends, us, and they wanted to even out the score. But they didn't expect you to be very as they put it, bitchy."
She laughed, a real laugh. This guy was so Ernie! He got the walk, the talk and the profound but subtle way of hinting she change the way she acted.
"Look, I mean what she said, really hit the wrong spot and, well-" she shrugged helplessly.
"What did she say?"
"Some crap about blood and stuff and in the process she said something about my parents and they're, what was that term again?, dead. They're dead."
He looked shocked. "I'm sorry."
"How come everyone keeps on saying that? It's not as if that's gonna bring my parents back."
"What happened?"
"Car crash."
She didn't want to admit that she had failed and what was she supposed to say? My parents are dead because I was too slow to save them from this vengeful demon?
I don't think so.
"Oh."
"So," she tried to salvage the conversation. "You're a werewolf, aren't ya?"
He was stunned and fear clouded his brown-gold eyes. "How did-"
"Hey, I won't tell no one nuthin'. What's up with that anyway?"
"Up with what?"
"You freakin' out when I say it."
"This society doesn't wholly accept my kind. We're savages. Different."
"You no different than anyone. I mean the wolf part isn't exactly you, it's some other part. Y'know 'cause Remus' just you, the wolf part's still you but you have no control over those animal instincts, so it's not you but a different part of you. And I know I'm not making no sense at all-"
"No, you make perfect sense. Absolutely perfect sense."
"Right, so what's this Head guy gonna do to me? Expel me or something?"
Remus couldn't help but hear the hopefulness in her voice.
"Professor Dumbledore's very lenient. He lets James and Sirius get away with murder. He loves pranks."
"But I didn't do no pranking. So he'll what?"
"But the fault is mainly James and Sirius', isn't it?"
"Guess you're right."
"We're here."
"So, where's this office thing?"
"Candy canes."
"What?"
"That's the password, like the Common Room's."
"Right."
The Gargoyle statue jumped aside to reveal a staircase, which they ascended.
Remus knocked on the door located at the top of the stairs.
"Come in," a voice said from inside the door.
She placed a hand on the doorknob, looked at Remus questioningly as he prodded her to step into the office. She gave him a look but turned the knob anyway. She entered the office which was furnished in a somewhat half-office and half like a grandpa's reading room.
Bookshelves lined one side of the room while a door was somewhat hidden beside it. A wooden perch was on one side of the wall where a phoenix roosted. And parallel the bookshelves sat the old guy with sparkling blue eyes.
"Miss Evans, our transfer student, in trouble now, are we?" he said, it wasn't a question, really, more like a statement.
"Professor McGonagall asked me to take her to see you, sir," Remus voiced from the doorframe.
"Ah, thank you Mister Lupin, you may return to class," the professor nodded in dismissal.
Remus gave Lily a sympathetic and encouraging smile, mouthed Good Luck and left.
"Now, Miss Evans, take a seat," Dumbledore waved a hand at the chair situated across his table.
"Right, whatever," she sat down.
"Now, what did you do?"
"Okay, so I went into the Great Hall and I got this weird gunk flung all over me and made me grow taller, so I walked up to the guy who did it to me and asked him to fix it but he didn't so I went to the infirmary and got me back to normal and then I found out that I forgot my stuff so I ran back up to my dorm and then was late for class.
"And when I got there, Professor McGonagall started attacking me and there I was, all perfectly silent and then I told her to please stop but she didn't and got even more pissed at me and sent me here."
He smiled then spoke, "A very interesting story, now, the truth, please."
"Whatever, so McGonagall was giving me shit about being late, so I tried to explain but she cut me off which just so pisses me, so I told her to take my explanation and stick it up her ass and she blew up. She gave me detention and I said she was cutting me some slack 'cause I was in her house.
"So she gave me more detention time and sent me here, so ta da! Here I am. Okay, I've been through this a million times, so skip the lecture and suspend me already."
"I am not going to suspend you but I am going to warn you, never to cross Professor McGonagall's path," his eyes twinkled. "And to tell you that it is against school rules to exit the castle at night."
"How the-"
"Now, off you go."
She stared at him with a strange look on her face but got up and left. No need of him calling the society to report her bad behavior and further punishment.
As she closed the door behind her, she muttered, "Strange old guy."