Moira dashed through the nearly empty corridors of Hogwarts as quickly as her feet would carry her. Harry had appeared in her classroom only moments ago to tell her the news.
"Professor, he's awake. I was just in the Hospital Wing and I heard Professor Lupin talking."
She hadn't even thanked the boy for telling her. It didn't matter. She was sure he'd understood. He had apologized to her enough over the last few days for the way he had treated her. He and half the school now knew how she felt about their former professor.
Her pace slowed as she neared the Hospital Wing. Sirius was sitting on the floor of the corridor, his knees drawn up and his head in his hands. He lifted his head when he heard her near. His eyes were red. He'd been crying.
"Don't go in, Moira," he told her as her hand reached out to the door.
"Why not?"
"Just don't. It's better not to."
"Why? What happened?"
"He's not the same. That's- not the same Remus."
"What do you mean? Sirius, what happened?" She stepped closer, but did not take her hand from the door.
"I was in there when he woke up. I was right by his side. The way he looked at me… he knew me, but there was something in his eyes I've never seen before in him. Revulsion. Contempt. If he'd have had the strength, I honestly think he would have killed me."
"Is he alone?"
"No. Albus and Snape are in there now."
Moira looked at the door, as if contemplating it.
"Don't do this to yourself, Moira."
She pushed the door open and entered, closing it softly behind her. The large room was empty. All the beds were dressed in crisp white sheets, folded down at the head and crowned with a pillow. Whispers swirled about the room as she stepped quietly toward the screens, which cut the end of the room off from the door. Two shadows could be seen: Albus and Severus.
"They were lies, Remus. Everything he told you were lies."
"No, I saw them. I saw everything! I remember! Those are not lies!"
"They are not memories-"
"Yes, they are, Severus. Don't tell me the things in my head aren't real. Sirius and Moira. They gave me to them!"
"Remus-"
"No, Albus. If I see them again, I'll kill them."
A small sound escaped Moira's throat before she could stop it. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Remus? Thought she had given him up to Voldemort? The room was spinning. She grabbed the edge of a bed to steady herself. Snape's shadow turned at the sound and slipped from behind the screen. When he saw Moira, he pressed his finger to his lips, motioning for her to remain silent as he came toward her. He ushered her quickly into Pomfrey's nearby office and shut the door.
"You should not have come in here, Moira," he told her when the door was safely shut.
"What happened to him, Severus? What's wrong with him?" She collapsed into a chair.
"Moira, Remus is still not well. Not his body. His mind. He was under a great amount of stress in which he was abused both physically and mentally, then fed information, memories, to support an alternate reality for him. They meant to break his hold on reality. Make him more pliable under the Imperious Curse. And now, he can't tell between what was real and what was not."
"Brainwashing."
"Very advanced brainwashing. He believes what they wanted him to believe. He believes that you and Sirius and James Potter were using him. That you distrusted him. And that you, in particular, tried to kill him."
"But how can he- how can he believe that?"
"Very simply. It's the difference between what you see, or think you see, and what people are telling you."
Moira took this, pushing it around her mind, unable to find any answers.
"Can I see him? If I can talk to him for just a few minutes-"
"No, Moira. Nothing you can say will change him."
"But, just a few-"
"Did you see Sirius when you came in?" he yelled. "He wasn't with Remus for two minutes when he woke up. He's probably still sitting out in the hallway." He lowered his voice. "You didn't hear the things Remus was saying. I did. Quite frankly, if I was his best friend and heard the things he said, I'd be sitting out in that hallway crying too. This is not the same person you knew before. There's a chance he never will be again."
"Never?" Her throat was tightening. Tears threatened to fall.
"Moira." He kneeled beside her, taking her hand. "Albus is sending him to St Mungo's tomorrow."
"But, he just woke up. He can't just institutionalize him!"
"Albus has a good friend there who is going to try and help Remus. We suspected this might happen before he even woke up and made the necessary arrangements. You cannot see him before he goes."
"But what if he never gets better?"
"I'm sorry, Moira."
The remainder of the day passed slowly for Moira. She found she could hardly concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes. Sirius remained at the school to help distract her, though he seemed to need a distraction just as much. He was uncharacteristically quiet throughout the passing hours, and hardly spoke at all during dinner. Though Dumbledore did not appear at mealtime, Snape joined the rest of the staff at the table. Conversation was muted, as if they were joining together for a wake.
A hand touched her gently on the shoulder and Snape whispered into her ear, "Moira, try to eat something." She looked down at her plate. She hadn't realized she hadn't eaten.
"I will," she answered, glancing back at the drawn white face and ink black eyes. He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept in several days. He was worried and sad. And the air of guilt pervaded his aura.
Later that night, her body fought her mind's commands to sleep. Slowly, Remus' words crept into her brain.
If I see them again, I'll kill them.
She glanced at the clock. It was nearly 4am. Surely, no one would still be awake. She wrapped a robe over her nightgown and slipped out of her room, tiptoeing quietly to the Hospital Wing. If nothing else, she would at least be able to see him without him ever knowing. She made it all the way to the door before hearing another sound. It was not a sound she was comforted by.
"Moira, you cannot go in there."
Snape. He was walking quickly down the corridor, just a few feet behind her. His steps made even less sound than hers.
"I just- I wanted to say goodbye. Surely he's sleeping. He'd never know I was here."
"He isn't sleeping, Moira. He's with Doctor Saluria. She's getting ready to take him to the institution."
"So soon?"
"There was a hope we could do it while the school was sleeping." There was more to it. She could see it in his eyes. They were cold, as they were whenever he withheld information.
They hoped to move him while she was sleeping.
"Severus, I just want to see him. I can wait out here. He would never even know I was here. I just need to see-"
The door swung open and Snape pulled Moira into an alcove near the door. Dumbledore and Doctor Saluria walked out together, followed by a cloaked figure flanked by two nurses. It was Remus. Moira knew it without seeing his face as she peeked out around the stone corner. She didn't need to see his face.
And then, something totally unexpected happened. As if he too could sense her in the recessed niche, his head turned very slowly. Nurse spoke to him gently, but it seemed to have no effect. He turned nearly all the way around until he was looking directly into her eyes.
She was chilled by it. His amber eyes, which had never succeeded in veiling his emotions well, were icy. He simply held her gaze, making no sign of acknowledgement. Minutes seemed to pass with no movement. The doctor, sensing that Remus had stopped walking, turned and looked curiously at Remus, then at Moira's two wide eyes staring out from behind a stone corner, like a reproved child.
The doctor touched his shoulder, and Remus turned and continued down the hallway without a backward glance.
"Moira? Are you all right? You look faint."
"It was like he was looking right through me. Like I didn't even exist."
"I warned you. I told you it was nothing you wanted to see."
"I know. But I had to. I don't know why, but I had to."
"I understand." He pursed his lips, throwing a cursory glance down the now empty hallway. "Come, Moira. You should get some sleep." He led her by the arm back to her chambers and left her at the door with a small portion of sleeping drought.
Sleep only came when tears no longer would.
Waking the next morning, she knew Remus was gone. Even if she hadn't seen him leaving, she could have felt his absence, as if the school had suddenly gone cold throughout. He was gone. He was really gone.