"Your nurse tells me you had a rough time of sleeping last night, Remus."

            "I had a nightmare, Doctor."

            "She says you were screaming.  Care to tell me what it was about?"

            "I- I dreamt I was with Moira.  She's a friend from my childhood."

            "I know Miss O'Shaughnessy."

            "Yes, I suppose you do.  I was kissing her: her lips, her neck, her throat.  And then, I just changed.  I was the werewolf again, but she didn't notice.  I bent down and I- I-"

            "Settle down, Remus.  Breathe deeply.  Better now? Can you tell me what you did?"

            "I killed her.  I bit into her throat and I ripped it out.  It's not true, is it?  Tell me it's not true.  Tell me she's alive."

            "Do you think it's true?"

            "I don't know.  That's why I'm asking you.  Please tell me!  What is the truth?"

            "Remus, that's why we're here.  To help you discover what the truth is."

            "Why can't you just tell me?"

            "Because, I don't know what you feel, what you see, what you know.  If I tell you, it would be my truth, not yours.  You might believe it in your head, as something to hang onto, but your heart would always question it.  They would be in conflict, and if you don't mind my saying, that is exactly the reason you were brought to me in the first place."

            "But everything in my head is jumbled.  How am I supposed to know?"

            "Well, what feels like the truth?  What feels real?"

            "I don't know!"

            "Alright, alright, calm yourself.  Let's start small.  What do you feel right now?"

            "Frustrated."

            "Good.  And this morning, before I came in?"

            "Scared."

            "Good.  Now, what about in your dream?  What were you feeling then?"

            "I- I don't-"

            "Think about Moira.  What do you feel when you think about her?"

            "Anger.  I feel anger.  And betrayal."

            "Interesting.  Tell me, Remus, why do you feel angry and betrayed?  Is it because she stabbed you?"

            "No.  Gods, no.  I don't even remember that, but I know I had to be stopped.  I understand that."

            "Something from before that, then?  You're remembering something.  Tell me what you remember, Remus."

            "I don't-  It's pieces.  I don't even know if they go together."

            "Tell me.  Maybe we can put it together."

            "Her eyes.  I was looking into her eyes near the fire, and holding her hand.  But she loves Sirius.  I knew she loved him, but I couldn't help it."

            "Help what?"

            "And then she came back.  She kept saying that she knew, she knew.  I told her to leave.  I told her so many times.  Why wouldn't she leave?"

            "Remus, are you okay?"

            "If only she'd have left, I wouldn't have done it."

            "Settle down.  You're shaking."

            "I didn't know!  I didn't know until I saw her lying there!  I didn't mean to do it!  I loved her!  I didn't mean to kill her!"

            "Remus, you didn't kill her.  Remember?  You saw her at the school.  You didn't kill Moira."

            "I loved her.  I loved her so much."

            "Breathe deeply, Remus.  Try to relax.  Moira is alive.  You know that.  You saw her."

            "I know.  I know."

            "Settle down.  Here, lean down.  Put your head between your knees.  Breathe deeply.  In, out.  In, out.  There you go.  Now sit up slowly."

            "I'm sorry, Doctor."

            "It's alright.  This is very difficult for you."

            "It is."

            "Tell me Remus, when you spoke of anger and betrayal, was that what you were feeling?"

            "Yes."

            "Why?  Why do you feel betrayed?"

            "I don't-"

            "That is not an answer.  Think!"

            "I- I keep hearing it in my head.  She betrayed you.  She tried to kill you."

            "Is that what happened?"

            "No.  It was me.  I did it."

            "Is that real then?  Is that the truth?"

            "Oh, gods."

            Moira glided through the halls of Hogwarts as it her feet didn't hard stone of the floor.  Her head was held high, almost regally, turning neither left nor right as students passed by her with books open before them or discussing class work with their classmates to prepare for the upcoming finals.  She hardly whispered the password to the stone gargoyle before it leapt aside, admitting her to the staircase leading to Dumbledore's office.

            "Albus," she said when she reached the top, finding him feeding a small brown pellet to Fawkes.  "I going back to the states the week after school is out."

            "Oh?"  He looked up, surprised, as Fawkes snatched the pellet from his fingers.  "When did you decide this?"

            "Last night.  I've left a whole life behind there.  Friends.  Colleagues.  An apartment.  I can't just walk away from it."

            "I see."  He rubbed his hands gently together, displacing any crumbs.  "Have you told Sirius?"

            "Yes.  He agrees it's for the best."

            "I can understand that."  A small smile spread across his lips.  "You can't just sit here waiting for your life to fall into place."

            "No, I can't."  She heaved a sigh.  "I have to do that myself."

            "You've made a decision then?  About Remus?"

            "I have."

            "Then, I'm proud of you.  I know what this has taken out of you.  Would you like something to drink?"

            "Oh gods, yes," she answered, slumping in the chair, all strength finally leaving her.