.hack//MIMIC

-speak-

I lost track of where I was. I simply ran forward, and didn't care where I would end up. Anywhere, anywhere is better than there.

Then, finally my legs gave way. I crumbled and fell head first into the dirt. Pebbles of rocks tore through my face, drawing blood. There shouldn't be blood. But there was. And it was so real.

Please. Somebody help me.

I pushed against the ground, attempting to get up, but all I did was grab dirt. I felt dizzy; the world around me spun wildly. I whimpered as I felt an incredible pain shooting up my left arm. It wasn't long before I realize it was dislocated.

But... how...? This... this is only a game. I coughed violently to rid of the pebbles of sand I breathed in, but instead this drew up more dust.

I remained still on the ground. The pain in my arm eventually numbed, but I feared that even the smallest movement will bring it back again. So I simply laid there, under the sun, motionless. My eyes were beginning to fatigue under the exposure to sunlight, and I struggled to keep them open. So... Am I going to die?

But... this is only a game.

Suddenly the sunlight before me dimmed. A figure stood before me, casting its shadow on my body.

"Are you okay?" It was a female voice. I moaned weakly as I winced to focus my vision.

"You're hurt..." A gloved hand rested on my shoulder, "Let me heal you."

She mumbled something under her breath, and suddenly a glowing ring of light began revolving around her hand. The halo began spinning faster and faster, and eventually and shattered into tiny specks of light. The particles slowly descended from the air like snowflakes, and landed quietly on my body. A gasp escaped from my mouth as I felt a tremendous amount of energy penetrating through my skin. Moments later, my body was recharged and full of life. The girl retrieved her hand.

I sat up and clutched my left arm. The pain was gone, and the arm was as normal again. Then I felt my cheeks. The cuts and scratches from the fall had vanished, too.

The girl grinned as she noticed the disbelief in my eyes, "That was a bit of an exaggeration, but you're okay now."

I managed to sit up and take a look at the girl. The character was wearing short, orange hair and a pink, high-collar dress. She was also wearing a pair of large gloves, which were completely disproportionate to the small character skin she was using. She was smiling, apparently very proud of herself.

"Boy, I've leveled up quite a bit," she said cheerfully, "I restored all your hit points with only one healing spell."

I retrieved my staff and stood up, "Thank you."

The girl giggled, "It's nothing. I was dying to try the spell out too." She held out a hand, gesturing for a handshake. "I'm A20."

I shook her hand, "Where are we?"

The girl shrugged, "Nowhere, just a random field. There's a gate not far from here to the south."

I glanced at my surroundings. We were in the middle of a wasteland. There was nobody else nearby.

"Are you looking for someone?" A20 asked, noticing me looking around.

It was a stupid question to ask, but I did anyways, "... did you happen to run into a broadsword-woman?"

The girl raised an eyebrow, "Well... I see about a thousand of those a day..." The girl scratched her head and muttered, "Well... now that you speak of it, I do know a girl carrying a broadsword... but I haven't seen her in a while..."

There was no use asking anymore, so I turned around and started to walk away. The girl, noticing it, called after me, "Hey, hey! You didn't even tell me your name!"

"...Tsukasa," I replied and continued to walk away.

"Tsukasa..." she muttered, "Huh... the name sounded really familiar..."

I left the girl alone on the field, scratching her head.

* * *

I wandered aimlessly in the desert for hours, struggling to straighten things out. Strange thoughts were flashing through my head as I walked on. True, I was still unable to log out. That hadn't changed.

But something had. I had been through countless battles, and even though there was pain back then, it had never been as real as what I experienced moments ago.

It ... felt... so real. Like being torn apart. Like I was about to die.

I trembled at the thought. What if... I get fatally wounded? Will I regenerate...? Or will I... actually die? The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that it will be the latter.

I have... only one chance... in The World.

The sun, the great sphere of fire, burned blazingly in the sky. I knew it was nothing much but a batch of codes and data, but somehow... it looked just as unforgiving as its counterpart in real life.

Yes, it seemed to say, it was just you and me. I remember.

- It will always just be you and me.

The sun glowered mercilessly down at me. I stood cowering beneath it, helpless. It had pursued me everywhere, from the real world all the way into the depth of cyberspace. It knows all my secrets.

Words. Shout. Painful words. Tears. Cry. Hands. Violence. Wounds. Bleed. Blood. Then I shut my eyes.

Father.

The sunlight tears the silence open, exposing the darkness I wish nobody would ever see.

It pained me. It shamed me. But, ironically, without its lights, I would lose my way in the darkness.

* * *

When I opened my eyes again, I was in Dun Loireag.

The land was still as mysterious as ever; clouds of unnatural mist surrounded the surreal yet beautiful structures.

I caught sight of the familiar bridge. Memories of the simplest things returned to me; I could almost see Mimiru, Bear and I standing on the bridge, once again. We used to spend countless hours simply leaning against the railings of the bridge, talking the day away. Mimiru and Bear would argue on and on about nothing significant at all, and I would just stand beside them, amused, listening with a smile on my face.

But now, the bridge was lonely, deserted, accompanied by nothing but thick fog. Mimiru, Bear... they were not there. Where could they possibly be?

Suddenly an idea popped into my head.

E-Mail.

Yes, why hadn't I thought of it before? I could mail Mimiru, and Bear, BT... and Subaru! I laughed in great relief. Silly me. Why hadn't I thought about it before??

I shut my eyes immediately, reaching deep into my memories. The member addresses were coming back to me, every single one of them. I smiled; yes, I remembered them all. My heart pounded in excitement as I imagined meeting them again. Mimiru and her delightful smile... Bear's fatherly voice... Subaru's loving eyes.

Yes, I remember. I remember them all.

Now all I have to do is --

...?

I stood there, dumbfounded. Confusion built up inside of me. Something was missing.

No, not just something.

I couldn't mail.

No... I bit my lips in panic.

A void. A giant void.

I tried to send a message... but there was nothing. It was as if I reached in for something... and grabbed nothing but empty air. I was walking on thin air.

Nothing was there.

Where is it?

Member address.

It wasn't there.

I have no member address.

No.

No.

For a moment I felt sensed my heart coming to a complete halt. This can't be.

- You know no players can exist without a member address.

No... no. this must be a mistake.

Yes... a mistake! There must be an error on the server. There must be...! Or, or they could be performing upgrades on the software --

- You know no players can exist without a member address.

This can't be... it's impossible! I... I-

- Are you sure you're Tsukasa?

Tsukasa...?

No... no. Yes, YES.

I AM Tsukasa.

- ...Who are you?

Suddenly, I noticed that there were footsteps behind me. A small giggle stopped the aggressive interrogation inside of me.

"Tsukasa!"

A joyful, excited voice called. Surprised, I turned around, and before I could say a word, a set of affectionate arms wrapped themselves tightly around me. My eyes widened as I recognized the sweet, pleasant aroma from the body.

"Mi...Mimiru..." I stuttered.

"It-it's really you! I thought A20 was kidding me," Mimiru's pulled back and looked at me with a huge smile, "You're back, Tsukasa! This is so great! You finally got over it."

"What... are you talking about?" I asked, puzzled.

Mimiru took my hand and walked me over the bridge, "You finally got enough courage to return to 'The World'! That's what I mean."

Return...? When did I ever leave?

"Mi... Mimiru--"

"Enough talk about that," she interrupted, "I'm just glad it's all over." I gazed at her joyous face. She was happy. I was glad to see her happy. But somehow, deep inside, I felt awkward. Something was wrong.

Mimiru turned around and leaned her back against the railing, "By the way, how was life with Bear? I guess it'd be pretty annoying to have an old man like that around you all the time..."

... ?

"... but he'd make a good parent, I'm sure," she put her arms up and stretched, "Well... the thing is, now that you're living with him, you can't both log on at the same time..."

...living... with... Bear?

"... we can't play together like we used to anymore. But no big deal..." she kept going on and on, but I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying at all.

I was struggling to make some sense out of all this. What is she talking about?

- Who are you? The horrid voice questioned me again in my mind.

My head was spinning and I felt a wave of nausea building up inside of me. Nothing, nothing made sense anymore.

Mimiru noticed my uneasiness, "... are you okay, Tsukasa?" she asked. My vision began to blur, splitting her concerned face into two.

- You have no member address.

"You don't look so good-" she said.

- Are you sure you are Tsukasa?

Stop!

Please Stop!

I felt dizzy. My legs weakened and I stumbled forward. "Mi-Mimiru..." I called in panic.

Mimiru reached out and grabbed me.

"...Hey! Is something wrong with you??" Mimiru cried.

My limbs were ridden with uncontrollable fatigue. "I... I don't feel well..."

"W-wait, I'll call you, hang on!"

Call me? My heart was struck with horror upon hearing her idea. But before I could say anything, Mimiru went idle. Her character froze in space, still wearing the concerned expression.

Using the remainder of my strength, I bored my staff deep into the dirt and steadied my body against it. My hands clasped the staff as I fought back against the tides of queasiness within me.

A dreadful moment of silence came between the Mimiru and I. I stared at her motionless body. Her face was still inanimate, but somehow it looked more and more menacing to me.

Did she call? If she did... what did she find out?

If I'm here... who is she talking to on the phone?

Suddenly, I caught sight of a haze of white hue. A shadow of a small girl, hiding behind a rock statue near by. I had no idea how long she had been there, watching us in stealth. Her white dress fluttered gracefully in the wind. Her big, round eyes were focused right on me. They were teary. I know these eyes. I know them too well.

Aura.

She startled as our eyes met. She turned around and started to run away. Somehow my body regained strength, and I chased after her.

Coincidentally, at the same time, Mimiru snapped out of her trance.

"Hey... You! Where are you going??" she shouted after me. I didn't stop. A caught a glimpse of face as I sped by. She looked confused and upset.

- I think she was beginning to understand.

Suddenly, a piece of the truth, as intangible and ethereal as it is, flashed past my mind. A wave of coldness crept up my spine. I couldn't quite grasp the idea, but the feeling of it alone was enough to terrify me.

- I think you are beginning to understand.

I didn't answer. I didn't stop running.

- Are you really chasing after Aura, or using it as a excuse -- to run away?

...So what if I am? I thought in defeat, It is only human to run away.

- You're running away from the truth.

You don't understand. You don't understand at all.

The small white figure stopped before the Chaos Gate. Golden rings began to encircle her body and she began to disintegrate. I grabbed her arm.

Aura turned around. She smiled sadly as a stream of tears trickled down her face. She took me by the arms and brought me into the rings surrounding her, and embraced me tightly.

"TSUKASA!" I heard the voice of Mimiru cry in a distance.

That was the last thing I heard, before my vision, my hearing, my body, Aura, everything, dissipated into the blankness of space.