A/N: Idea came to me on a whim. I liked it so I went with it. There aren't enough stories about the older Weasley's anyway. Here is the product. If you read, you must review. Or you will be assimilated. Resistance is futile… sorry, Star Trek stuff gets stuck in my head.

That's Life

Prologue: Percy

"BUT I DON'T WANT ANOTHER BROTHER! 'SPECIALLY NOT TWO!!" Percy screamed. "I DON'T WANT 'EM, I DON'T WANT' EM!" The boy yelled and wailed and finally threw himself on the ground, hammering his fists into the floor and kicking his legs.

Arthur Weasley tried to reason with his son. "We've been over this and over this Percy. They're coming in April-"

"NO!! NO THEY AREN'T!! I WON'T LET THEM!!" He said, still flailing like a psychopath.

Little Bill Weasley looked at his younger brother with a grimace of disappointment. "I hope he doesn't get his letter. He'll never last a day at Hogwarts acting like that," Bill said to Charlie. The stouter brother nodded in agreement and crammed a chocolate frog in his mouth, watching the fun unfold. Percy was the smartest two-year-old he'd ever seen, but he was the most annoying thing to befall the wizarding world.

"You can't control it, Percy, honey, the babies are already on their way," Molly Weasley insisted, trying to assuage her son. Percy screamed louder then ever.

"DON'T WANT 'EM!!" He insisted loudly. "DON'T!! WANT!!" Instead of continuing to pummel floor, the two-year old sprung up and raced around, knocking over everything that was accessible to him. "NO MORE BROTHERS!!" He shouted and ran up the stairs.

Bill was grateful that'd he'd locked his door, but Charlie hadn't. The soon-to-be first year student at Hogwarts was too preoccupied unwrapping his chocolate to notice that the wand in Percy's hand was his own. By the time he did, large china plates were exploding and Percy was prodding his father in the leg.

"MOLLY! MOLLY, PERCY'S GOT- OW, PERCE!" Arthur clutched his calf, which was quickly swelling to the size of the family's grandfather clock. "Where did you get that, Perce? OW! Come on, now!!"

Bill sprinted to his room, fumbling around for a muggle thing called a key. "Stupid muggles," He whispered before jumping inside and shutting the door. "Jesus, I live in a mad house." He was grateful it was HIS mad house, and not someone else's. He doubted anybody except a natural-born Weasley would be able to handle it.

As if just to prove his point, his mother's voice shook the floor. "CHARLES WEASLEY, YOU GET THIS WAND FROM YOUR BROTHER THIS INSTANT!!"

There was a loud crash, letting the eldest Weasley child know Percy had knocked over the family clock... again.

"I can't get it from him, mum!!" He heard Charlie yell. Another crash.

"There goes the Christmas tree," Bill said to himself.

"WILLIAM! GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM AND HELP HIM!!" Molly yelled, drowning out even Percy's cries.

The boy ruffled his short hair and reluctantly trudged over to the door. He hated his hair so clipped, and would always grow it out when he reached Hogwarts, but at home, his mother had insisted on having it cut.

The situation downstairs was very much like a mad house. Percy was still howling, rattling the very construct the house was built on with iron lungs that he had to have gotten from his mother. Arthur Weasley lay on the floor, his leg no longer growing but big enough to take up all the space on a park bench. Charlie's wand appeared to have been used against him. Every time he spoke, bright purple bubbles flew up out of his mouth, he hiccuped twice, and then fell on the floor. Molly ran after Percy, shooting every freezing charm she knew at him, and growling while he dodged every last one. Percy, giggling and screaming simultaneously, was now just enjoying the game of Run From Your Family Members.

Bill sighed and pulled a handful Percy's favorite candy from a high drawer. "Hey Percy, you want some Bertie Botts?"

It worked. The little boy was so ecstatic he dropped the wand and came racing over, tackling his older brother to the ground and eating the candy right from Bill's hand.

"Oh, Billy, did you have to give him candy before dinner?" Molly said regrettably, picking up Charlie's wand and handing it to him with a look of venom. "I'll get to you in a moment, dear," She said, looking hopelessly at her husband, collapsed on the ground.

Bill picked Percy up and sat him outside. "Come on, Perce, when's the last time you had a good gnome hunt?" Chasing gnomes usually kept the excitable boy busy and kept gnomes out of the garden for at least a month.

Charlie couldn't help but giggle as his brother sauntered back in with the finesse of someone who knew they'd just handled a precarious situation.

Arthur was smiling at his son with pride, but Molly was fussing already. "Go help Charlie make dinner, won't you, dear? I'll be able to get most of this cleaned up after you leave tomorrow." She gestured to the ruined house.

"Yes, mum," said Bill sulkily, his triumph being overlooked. No matter, he'd go back to Hogwarts, have a friend grow his hair back out overnight, and enjoy his last year as the only Weasley there. Charlie would be joining him next year and Percy a few years later. Then with the twins on the way... "Just get me back to Hogwarts..."

*!*!*!*!*

"Don't worry, mum. Percy isn't all that bad."

Charlie rolled his eyes and put off eating his fifth chocolate frog to say, "Easy for you to say. You get a vacation from him often enough." The look on his mother's face let him know she was inclined to agree. He couldn't really blame her, Percy was wriggling in her arms, reaching desperately out for Charlie's chocolate.

Bill folded his arms. "You'll behave while I'm gone, won't ya, Perce?"

Percy nodded emphatically. "Damn straight."

Charlie blushed and tried to hide his face behind his candy, but Percy snatched it from him.

"Goodbye, dear," Molly said through clenched teeth. Bill was exceedingly glad he wasn't Charlie as he dashed onto platform nine and three quarters, and out of his mother's death glare.