How To Treat a Tinto
By Zell's Girl
Rating: PG

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Lilly's down after catching her guy up to no good, and Reed is on the run! Budehuc castle may not be a safe place for its residents anymore! A puffy story with some light humor, and hints of Gordon/Lilly and Kathy/Reed

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Lilly felt so happy to finally have a boyfriend. Despite she was the daughter of the Tinto president, Lilly really didn't have many courtiers. Lilly could never figure out why, which was quite frustrating to her. Seeing Lilly frustrated, though, was enough to send any man running.

Lilly was seeing a man named Goro. The two had hit it off one day when Lilly and he were starring in 'Romeo and Juliet'. He was tall, dark-haired, outgoing… and he obeyed Lilly's every command. That was always a plus.

Actually, dating Goro was actually having a positive effect on Lilly's demeanor. She was trying her damnedest to be nicer, and not to be as violent. She even found herself preparing a picnic lunch for him and her to share. The surprise itself was an idea given to her by Emily, after a training session at the Bujutsu shop the previous night.

Lilly clutched the basket, slightly nervous. She hoped Goro liked ham and cheese sandwiches and blueberry muffins. She had spent all morning cooking under the watchful thumb of Mamie. She didn't have Samus and Reed help, since she wanted it to be special. And, for the first time in three years, Lilly had given her two attendants the day off.

As Lilly rounded the corner, she looked over towards the cloth door. The blue and red pattern was eye catching, and it drew people towards it. Much like Goro. She slowly clutched the edge of the cloth, closing her eyes. She pushed it aside and stepped in.

She opened her eyes to see a very distressing sight. There was Goro, kissing Shizu. Her eyes burned and almost filled with tears. Then, rage entered her spirit. "Why you lying bastard!" Shizu and Goro abruptly broke apart.

Shizu looked back and forth between the two, confused. "What is going on?"

"You appear to be kissing my boyfriend!" Lilly howled.

"What?" Shizu's dark eyes fixed upon Goro. He squirmed uneasily. "Why…. I'm sorry Lilly, I did not know… And you lied to me… I… I…" Shizu angrily slapped Goro across the face.

Lilly handed the picnic basket to the sniffling woman and stepped in front of Goro. "You have five seconds to explain yourself." Goro drew a deep breath. "Five."

"I can't stand" Goro began.

"Four." Lilly said flatly.

"how you treat me"

"Three." She growled.

"I have every right"

"Two." She counted, balling her fist.

"since I'm breaking"

"One." Lilly pummeled Goro in the jaw, sending him to the ground. Shizu gasped, looking down at the man. "I never want to see you again! Consider yourself DUMPED." Lilly grabbed her picnic basket again and stamped out of the room.

The door that led to the exit of the boat opened with a crash, slamming it the wall behind it. The girl stomped up the stairs and down the hall angrily, each heavy footstep making the painting and vases in the hall wobble. Every eye turned to Lilly, a very common event indeed.

Lilly placed her hand on her hips. She looked to her left, right, and turned around. "SAMUS! REED! Get your ungrateful asses out here RIGHT NOW!"

Across the castle, sitting in the bar, Reed's ears perked up. He placed his drink down and looked to Samus. "I think I just heard Lady Lilly calling."

Samus laughed. "I doubt it, man, you're just paranoid. C'mon, relax, she's on a date with that Goro fellow. If you go looking for her now, she'll probably make you scrub the toilets with your tongue." Reed slowly nodded and took another sip of his sake.

Over the noise of the chattering bar folk, Loud crashing echoed. The room went silent as the noise became louder. Reed's drink began to shake, then fell to the floor and shattered. "Do you think…?" Reed whispered to his partner.

Just as the last word seeped from his mouth, Lilly flung opened the door, breaking it from its hinges. "SAMUS, REED! You should LISTEN when I call to you! Why don't you EVER listen!? You are two pathetic ingrates! I should fire you both, then DRAG you back to Tinto and have you EXECUTED! Now COME!"

Lilly trampled out the door with Samus immediately in toe. Reed nodded at Anne. "You can send me the check for the door and drinks later. I am most sorry." With a bow, Reed ran after the pair.

"Now, you two." Lilly screeched. "In the next five minutes I need a pound of chocolate covered strawberries and six boxes of tissues, or you'll both find your asses on the lawn! I'll be in my room."

Samus and Reed watch Lilly stomp up the staircase. On the walk to her room, she pushed Sir Roland out of her way, knocking him to the floor. When Lilly reached the purple and white oak door that led to her room, she opened it carefully not to break it.

When Lilly passed through the threshold, she threw herself down on her bed. Lilly clutched the purple blanket to her chest. In actuality, everything in the room was purple. The desk, walls, canopy over her bed, everything; except the frame on the painting of Lilly and her father.

When everything outside was settled and Lilly's room was silent, Lilly stood and walked to the mirror. Her face was puffy and red, and her black hat seemed bent. She removed the hat and threw it in the corner. "I, Lilly Pendragon, swear off men FOREVER."

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"Agh! Okay, I'll find the tissues." Samus said, edging toward the door.

"Hey!" Reed protested, "That is not fair!"

Samus replied, "Okay, Rock, paper, scissors?"

"Okay." Both men stood facing each other, and fisted their hands.

"Rock… Paper…. Scissors… Shoot!" The to chanted together. Reed chose paper, flatly laying out his hand. Samus was pointing at his partner.

"You lose!" Samus said, opening the door and running outside. The door slammed shut before Reed, leaving him quite frazzled.

"Not fair!" Reed cried, opening the door and running out. He turned the corner, heading for Mamie's restaurant. He hopped quickly down the steps, nearly crushing Barts' plants.

Reed plowed past several tables, pushing to through the line at the counter. "Hey!" Mamie said, disgruntled. "What's up with you?"

"I need a pound of chocolate covered strawberries right away!" Reed cried, folding his hands. "Please, I BEG of you, you must sell me some right now!"

"I'm sorry…" Mamie murmured. "But I sold the last batch to Barts. I can have another batch ready for you in about… an hour, give or take a few minutes if you want…"

By the time Mamie had finished her statement, Reed was already over with Barts.

Reed eyed the 'Mamie's Cookery' box next to Barts on the table. "Please, Sir Barts, I need those chocolate covered strawberries right away or Lady Lilly will have me beheaded," Reed pleaded, "please!"

Barts laughed. "That's too bad, since you almost trampled Yulen."

"Who?"

"Yulen! My tomato plant in the fourth row."

"Oh…" Reed looked at the farmer, noting that he was serious. "I'll give you all my money! Just please… let me have them!"

Barts looked up towards the sky. "Lemme think… NO."

Reed sighed. "Fine then." Reed grabbed the box of fruit and ran towards the castle. Barts yelled and threw his rake at Reed, which Reed easily ducked under as he ran towards Budehuc Castle.

Reed rushed through the door, breathing heavily. The guard felt a twinge of guilt, realizing that he'd stolen something. He almost considered returning the treats as Samus walked casually in the foyer with his boxes.

"Ah, good job Reed. Now, lets go bring'em all to Lilly." Samus said.

"But I…" Reed sighed, still short of breath.

"Oh come on." Samus growled, grabbing Reed's arm and dragging him up the stairs. The two stood outside the purple door for a second, listening to see if Lilly was having a fit or not. With a quiet coast, Reed opened the door.

Lilly lied asleep on her bed, quietly breathing in and out. It was one of those rare moments when Lilly seemed… peaceful. Reed smiled to himself. No trouble… or so he thought.

"Reed! What do we do?" Samus asked, setting down his boxes on the violet desk. "She said we needed to deliver this stuff or we were dead, and the other day she said if we woke her, we were dead."

Reed thought for a moment. "Okay. I have an idea."

"Oh great." Samus said sarcastically.

"Hmph. Okay. Here's what we do. We leave this stuff on the desk. Then on our way out, we slam the door and run." Reed offered.

"Sounds good to me." Samus agreed.

"Unh… You two are… Late!" She murmured sitting up. Lilly cleared her throat. "I said FIVE minutes! It's been nine minutes…." Lilly eyed the clock. "Now."

"I'm sorry, milady! I am ever so sorry!" Reed sobbed.

"Quit blubbering. Now you two have a two-hour break. And this time, if you're late at all, or if I see your annoying faces, I'll make you bathe with Kenji THEN kill you both."

"O-o-okay!" Reed replied, running out the door. Samus followed quickly, closing the door behind him.

Lilly stood and walked over to the boxes. She opened the batch of strawberries, smelling them before popping one into her mouth. "Not bad." As Lilly continued to eat, she thought about how to make herself feel better, other then killing Goro.

When Lilly was little, whenever she got angry she always bought a new piece of jewelry. Lilly smiled, thinking that would make her feel better. Lilly straightened out her clothes and walked down the hall, catching weird looks from several people.

Lilly noted it was a beautiful day outside as she walked towards the shop. The sun was shining and birds were singing. Everything seemed happy and filled with merriment. This actually angered Lilly. She looked towards the fountain, eyeing the doves. At full speed, Lilly ran towards the birds, sending them flying in all directions.

Miss Pendragon was still smirking when she opened the door to the item shop. Inside, she met a smiling Gordon.

"Why hello, Miss Lilly. You are looking beautiful today. Absolutely radiant." Lilly found herself blushing as she approached the counter. "I have never seen you here before, usually you send those servants of yours. May I inquire why you give me the privilege of your presence? "

"Well, Gordon, I want to buy some jewelry. I don't trust those two to have any taste in that sort of thing." Lilly informed him. "You do have jewelry here, right."

"Oh yes, yes, second counter on the right." Gordon walked out from behind the counter and stood beside her. "Right here. Remember, I have everything a Lady needs here."

Lilly inspected the jewelry closely. "Hmm…"

Gordon grinned, scanning Lilly over as she looked at the rubies and sapphires. "May I offer a suggestion?"

"Go right ahead," Lilly replied, without looking at the man.

Gordon picked up an amethyst brooch, which was shaped like a sword. "How about this one, it brings out the color of your beautiful eyes." Lilly's blush reddened as Gordon carefully pinned it to her scarf. "Looks like it was made with you in mind."

"It's quite pretty, I must admit," Lilly murmured, admiring the brooch. "How much is it?"

"Ten thousand potch." He informed her happily. Lilly's mouth fell open. "But, I'll give you it for half price if you tell me what's wrong."

"Hm?" Lilly asked, her mind buzzing with the cost of the brooch. "Nothing's wrong."

"You needn't lie to me, those beautiful eyes of yours scream for a shoulder to cry on."

"And, Sir Gordon, why do you care?" Lilly asked, indignantly.

Gordon pondered for a moment. "Curiosity, compassion… those sorts of things."

"Curiosity killed the cat." Lilly responded, placing her hands on her hips.

Gordon grinned. "You wouldn't hurt a handsome, helpful cat like me though, would you? I would just like to help."

"Fine." Lilly hissed. "But this is for the price drop, I don't need to confide in you."

"All right." Gordon leaned against the table. "I'm all ears, Miss Lilly."

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Reed entered the bar, looking back and forth. The coast was clear. No Samus. No Lilly. "Good!" Reed said aloud, sitting down at the table near the stage. As Reed settled down with a book titled 'The Inner Soldier- an Attendant's Guide to Maintaining His Dignity'.

Lesson seventeen—
Always be well-spoken. As an attendant, certain people may look down on you. If people think you are a simpleton, they won't respect you. Not being respected by others makes it harder to respect yourself.

"YOU!" Hissed a shrill, feminine voice from behind him. He turned to see Anne, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a piece of paper. "Here's your bill."

Opening the piece of paper, Reed looked at the number written across it.
Two
Hundred
Thousand
Potch.

"Are you serious?" Reed asked, standing. "that seems a little… high."

Anne grinned. "That also includes the tab your two friends have run up. Now, pay. Oh, you three also aren't welcome back in here again."

"I… uh…." Reed murmured. "I don't have that much on hand."

"Oh really?" Anne fumed. Anne swung the bottle of wine at Reed's head. Reed quickly ducked under the bottle. By the time Anne swung again, Reed was almost out the door.

Reaching the outdoors, Reed pushed Koroku's doghouse against the door in order to barricade it. Koroku barked angrily at him, but he ignored it. Suddenly, Reed heard bashing against the door behind him.

Panicking, Reed ran down the staircase. His leather boots crashed loudly against the rock stairs. Reed darted behind one of the training scarecrows at the Bujutsu shop. Reed stood there, cowering.

"YOU!" A voice bellowed. Reed stood there, frozen, as the disgruntled, violent farmer approached him. Barts spun the rake in his hand faster and faster with each step. "You rotten theif! I'll…"

As the rake slashed at Reed's face, he darted behind another Bujutsu scarecrow. Barts knocked it over with ease. Reed immediately hopped the fence and darted towards the stables.

He dashed and darted around many people. He ran quickly into the stable, nearly knocking Kathy over. The girl looked at Reed, confused. "Oh, hello Reed."

"Hello, hello. May I ask a HUGE favor of you, Miss Kathy?" Reed asked, peering down the path. He could see Barts slowly approaching.

"I'll try."

Reed gave Kathy a huge hug. "Thank you, thank you thank you! Please, please, please hide me! Anne and Barts and Lilly and EVERYONE are out for my head!"

"Okay, but later you'd better tell me what's going on!" Kathy replied. Reed nodded, looking back down the path. "Okay, hide in the hay over there."

Reed dove into the hay just in time for Barts' arrival. "Hello Kathy," Barts cheerily greeted her, "By any chance have you seen Sir Reed about? I have important matters I wish to discuss with him."

Kathy grinned. "Howdy, Mista' Farmer! As a matter of fact, I did!"

Sweat dripped down Reed's face. What was Kathy trying to pull? Reed began to panic again, quietly, checking to see if there was any easy way for him to escape. Alas, in the stables, Reed was a sitting duck.

"Oh really?" Barts asked, looking about. "Where?"

The moment of truth.

"He ran by here and darted towards the woods. He seemed to be in quite the rush." Kathy grinned as she answered. "Are ya'll have some sorta trouble?"

"Nope! Well, I'll see you later, Kathy!" Barts smiled, walking towards the woods.

When Barts was out of sight, Kathy turned to the pile of hay Reed was hiding behind. "Coast is clear, Mista' Reed! You should be fine for a while now!"

Reed jumped out from behind the bail of hay. "Oh, thank you Miss Kathy! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Is there anything I could do to repay you?"

Kathy grinned. "I've got an i-deer."

Reed raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"I would really like if you would… well… go out with lil' ol' me sometime?" Kathy fluttered her eyelashes several times. Reed watched the rancher closely. This time, he wasn't sure if he should run.

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"My, my, that's truly too bad." Gordon said as Lilly completed her story. "Some men just don't know how to treat a lady like you."

Lilly was unsure whether or not it was intended as an insult. "Like me?"

"Oh yes. Someone who is smart, intelligent," Gordon listed, "sophisticated, talented, strong… A goddess more than a woman, I suppose."

"And you know how to treat a lady like me, I suppose?" Lilly asked.

Gordon grinned. "Why yes."

Lilly leaned over the counter, to where Gordon once again stood. "Care to share?"

"All right. Well, first, I'd pick you up at five and give you some freshly picked white roses," Gordon began. "Then I'd tell you that they matched perfectly with your flawless complexion."

Lilly grinned. "Oh, white roses… where would you find those?"

"I'll get to that." Gordon promised. "Then, I'd take you to 'Samuchui' it's a very nice restaurant on the outer edge of Iksay. They have the most splendid sake this side of Harmonia. And while we're there, I'd have the violinist there play you your favorite song."

"Wow… Impressive." Lilly murmured. "What next?"

"Then, I'd take you on a walk of the rose garden behind my house in Iksay. The same place where I retrieved roses for you. I had to make sure to get you the best, you see. Then once we reached the angel fountain, we'd sit down on the green marble bench and watch the sun set. Then, I'd tell you how blessed I was to be with such a beautiful woman."

Gordon smiled at Lilly, and she grinned in return. "Then," Gordon said, "I'd bring you home, and ask if you'd like to go out again sometime soon."

Lilly grinned. "You really do seem to have this whole scenerio down."

"And now, I must ask you if you would accompany me on such a date?" Gordon asked, Leaning towards Lilly.

"That sounds wonderful. But, I had best be leaving. Those lazy attendants of mine are already late from returning from their break. Is tomorrow all right?"

"Perfect, just like you."

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The End!

Author's Notes-
Heyo, The Suikos! I have written the first Lilly/Gordon!
....Maybe! Well, anywho, I want to thank Al Krsitopher
who gave me the idea the other night when we were
talking BorYumi, so I whipped this together after about
two hours! Also, I want to that person who wrote the
Kathy/Reed! I really like the couple now ^_^ So, anywho--
Tune into my fics for my up-coming Remnants of the Sky
chapters, as well as my in the works Aila/Fred! I hope you
enjoyed this stupid little fic!
Over and out-
Kate