Title: My Angel, My Savior
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to the amazing Murkami Maki! All praise her like the goddess she is! *bows and grovels* However, the plot is mine and Aya belongs to me. ;)
Notes from Nori: It doesn't tie in to the plot right away, but be patient. Ryuichi-san will find love, but not as you expect probably.. :P
_______________________________________
It had all happened so fast that Ryuichi wasn't sure if he could cope, it seemed like his brain was on overload. Out of all his family Ryuichi had been particularly close to his younger sister and now she was gone. At first the information didn't quite register, how could his little Aya-chan be gone? It just wasn't possible, Aya was one of the strongest people Ryuichi knew, how could she suddenly be gone? Apparently Aya had been sick for some time now with symptoms of a cold and the doctors labeled it as a case of pneumonia after quite some time. She'd been found by the landlord of her apartment passed out in the kitchen and was immediately rushed to the hospital. After what had been said to be a very hard struggle for his baby sister, she passed on peacefully in her sleep.
Since they had both moved on and out of their parent's lives, Aya and Ryuichi spoke rarely, but as children they were quite inseparable. Ryuichi was the zest and life of the relationship and Aya was the mellow, levelheaded advisor and protector, they worked quite well together. It had been a few weeks since the siblings had spoken, but Ryuichi couldn't help, but feel he should have spent more time with her. Now he couldn't ever see her again: Aya was gone. That thought made Ryuichi shudder and he blinked back a silent tear. He couldn't cry over this, he had to be strong. That's what Aya would have wanted.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Sakuma-san," Tohma said slowly to the brunette before him. "I know you probably haven't been feeling quite so well this week due to the loss of your sister and I wanted to know if you'd like to take leave or some sort of personal time to cope. You haven't been quite...normal, since the event and I'm concerned for your well-being, Sakuma-san."
Ryuichi stared at Tohma silently, quite surprised by his friend's sudden display of sincere concern and emotion. Tohma frowned at Ryuichi and removed his glasses, allowing a small sigh to escape his lips. The blonde pulled a drawer of his desk out and dug through it for a moment before pulling out an envelope with the words, 'Onii-san' scrawled hurriedly across the front. He held the envelope out towards Ryuichi and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.
"This was left for you by the hospital. They didn't know where to find you so they sent it here." the younger man looked up, locking gazes with Ryuichi. "Aya-san wrote it before she died."
It seemed that Ryuichi's heart stopped there for a brief instant as he stared at the envelope in Tohma's pale hands. He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and simply reached out and took the envelope gently. He stared for a moment, his sister's familiar messy writing indicating the letter's authenticity.
"You don't have to read it now." Tohma offered, putting his glasses back on. "You can read it when you get home and begin your leave. I'll send out an announcement that we are pushing back our CD's release date."
"But, Tohma!" Ryuichi cried, quite shocked by his band mates actions.
"Go home, Sakuma-san, get some sleep, take a shower: you look dreadful. I won't take no as an answer."
Ryuichi nodded mutely and stood, clutching the envelope in his hand. Tohma smiled at him and tilted his head slightly.
"You have a week, two weeks at most, if that's not too soon for you. Take care of yourself, Ryuichi."
Ryuichi nodded and smiled half-heartedly, noting vaguely the use of his given name. He headed towards the door and pulled it open slowly. Before he exited he turned back to the blonde at his desk.
"Thank you." he said shortly.
Tohma smiled sadly and nodded, watching as the vocalist exited. Once outside Ryuichi stared down at the envelope in his hands and sighed. He wasn't sure if he had the heart to read this letter. Perhaps Tohma was right, he just needed a bit of time to cope, let it all sink in. Ryuichi sighed and headed out of the building in silent contemplation. What was he going to do now..?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryuichi sat in the corner of his bedroom, Kumagoro in his lap, and the letter from his sister clutched in his hands.
"Well, Kumagoro," Ryuichi sighed, flipping the letter over. "I guess we should read the letter imouto-chan wrote us, neh?"
Sucking in a deep breath Ryuichi ran a trembling finger beneath the flap that sealed the envelope. It opened easily and slowly Ryuichi extracted the letter inside. It was written on a piece of pink looking paper and had a few blotches where it appeared to have gotten wet and was smudged just a bit.
'Dear Oniisan,' Ryuichi paused, his breathe coming in short gasps. With all is being he forced himself to go on.
"Dear Oniisan,
My dear, dear brother, Ryuichi, I love you with all my heart and soul. You've made me so proud. You've grown and matured so much over the years, but you've still kept your youthful innocents all along. I just want you to know, my dear oniisan, you're my hero and nobody could ever take your place.'
Ryuichi stopped, a few tears sliding down his cheeks. His grip on Kumagoro tightened into a deadly grip and he sobbed despite his effort not to. She was gone forever, oh God, what had gone wrong? Why did she deserve this?
'If your reading this, it means that I'm no longer with you in the world of the living. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to pull through. I guess I'm just not as strong as you are, oniisan. I'm so sorry and I don't want you to be sad over me. I will always be alive inside your heart and whenever you need me that's where I'll be.'
A single tear fell down onto the paper in the brunette's hand and he bit his lip to keep from braking into sobs. 'No, Aya-chan, your my hero.' Ryuichi thought, squeezing his eyes shut. 'I'm the one who's sorry. I'm so sorry...' He sniffled, opening his eyes slowly as more tears fell. There was no hiding behind his mask of childish tendancies here. There was no quick fix on candy or anyway he could color himself happy. A part of him had died in there with his sister, he was broken and incomplete. Ryuichi stared at the pink paper, not really reading the rest of the words. His vision was blurred from tears and his sudden case of hiccups and sobs racked his body. Aya was his other half and now she was gone, he could never be complete again.
'We were never very close to kaasan and tousan while we grew up and I was always thankful I had you to be with. You made me so happy, Ryuichi. You were my best friend and you still are. Now, I need you to do me a favor. You're the only one I can trust to do this right.'
Trying to halt his tears Ryuichi set Kumagoro down for a moment and wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve. His sister needed him to do something and damnit he was going to do whatever it was. He owed it to Aya to grant her this last thing.
'You yourself have this amazing charisma and charm that woos everyone. You're so sweet and caring, there's not a person who could hate you. Of course all this is true, but I always wondered: Isn' t it lonely, this life that you lead? You never know what to expect, people always trying to use you for your fame and fortune; not having anything that's completely stable. I couldn't imagine living in your shoes, oniisan, and all that made my admiration grow. You are truly invincible.'
Ryuichi laughed, somewhat bitterly at that concept. Invincible was not a word to describe Ryuichi, he was everything but invincible. He shook his head, sniffling a bit as he did. 'If only your amazing portrait of me was accurate, imouto-chan. I'm nowhere as strong as you are, I can't even begin to say I'm in the same league.' he thought sadly. Taking a deep breath he continued on.
'What I am asking of you may not be an easy task, but I have faith that you will be able to handle it, I believe in you. Besides, you're both a lot alike and I think it may be comforting for her to meet somebody who won't abandon her. I'm afraid even I failed to stick by her like I promised. In the past month I have been helping out at a local orphanage on the outskirts of Tokyo. They don't have much and they're barely getting by. Over the month I've found a particular little girl whom I've been drawn to. She's the most adorable little thing ever and she reminded me so much of you that I couldn't help, but love her. I promised her that if the money was right I would adopt her at the end of my time at the orphanage, but alas I fell ill. I wish for you to pick up where I left off, Ryuichi.
The girl's name is Aishi Mionoki, but she goes by Mio so in your kindness please call her as this. She's roughly 9 years old and was abandoned by her parents as an infant. She needs somebody to love her, oniisan, she needs somebody who won't leave her. I think it'll do you both good to have each other. I'm begging you, Ryuichi, you're her only hope. I hope you will do this one last request for me, it means everything that she has a good life. With this I must leave you, I suppose. There's no pain really, that phase has passed, it's a blissful nonliving existence now. I feel tired and I know this will be my last resting, so please live life to the fullest my dear brother. Never take anything for granted, you just never know when it'll all be taken away. Ai shiteru, oniisan.
All my love, Aya-chan'
A fresh onslaught of tears washed over Ryuichi as he read the end of his sister's letter and he let them flow freely. She's died only a short time after that, the very last minutes of her life were put into this letter to him. Folding the letter delicately as if it were a piece of the most priceless porcelain, Ryuichi slid it back into it's envelope. He willed himself to stand and put it somewhere safe, but to no avail. He simply pulled his knees to his chest, clutching the letter over his heart as he sobbed.
"I won't let you down, my Aya-chan. I won't ever forget you either....Ai shiteru." he vowed to the nothingness around him. "You'll always be in my heart..."
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to the amazing Murkami Maki! All praise her like the goddess she is! *bows and grovels* However, the plot is mine and Aya belongs to me. ;)
Notes from Nori: It doesn't tie in to the plot right away, but be patient. Ryuichi-san will find love, but not as you expect probably.. :P
_______________________________________
It had all happened so fast that Ryuichi wasn't sure if he could cope, it seemed like his brain was on overload. Out of all his family Ryuichi had been particularly close to his younger sister and now she was gone. At first the information didn't quite register, how could his little Aya-chan be gone? It just wasn't possible, Aya was one of the strongest people Ryuichi knew, how could she suddenly be gone? Apparently Aya had been sick for some time now with symptoms of a cold and the doctors labeled it as a case of pneumonia after quite some time. She'd been found by the landlord of her apartment passed out in the kitchen and was immediately rushed to the hospital. After what had been said to be a very hard struggle for his baby sister, she passed on peacefully in her sleep.
Since they had both moved on and out of their parent's lives, Aya and Ryuichi spoke rarely, but as children they were quite inseparable. Ryuichi was the zest and life of the relationship and Aya was the mellow, levelheaded advisor and protector, they worked quite well together. It had been a few weeks since the siblings had spoken, but Ryuichi couldn't help, but feel he should have spent more time with her. Now he couldn't ever see her again: Aya was gone. That thought made Ryuichi shudder and he blinked back a silent tear. He couldn't cry over this, he had to be strong. That's what Aya would have wanted.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Sakuma-san," Tohma said slowly to the brunette before him. "I know you probably haven't been feeling quite so well this week due to the loss of your sister and I wanted to know if you'd like to take leave or some sort of personal time to cope. You haven't been quite...normal, since the event and I'm concerned for your well-being, Sakuma-san."
Ryuichi stared at Tohma silently, quite surprised by his friend's sudden display of sincere concern and emotion. Tohma frowned at Ryuichi and removed his glasses, allowing a small sigh to escape his lips. The blonde pulled a drawer of his desk out and dug through it for a moment before pulling out an envelope with the words, 'Onii-san' scrawled hurriedly across the front. He held the envelope out towards Ryuichi and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.
"This was left for you by the hospital. They didn't know where to find you so they sent it here." the younger man looked up, locking gazes with Ryuichi. "Aya-san wrote it before she died."
It seemed that Ryuichi's heart stopped there for a brief instant as he stared at the envelope in Tohma's pale hands. He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and simply reached out and took the envelope gently. He stared for a moment, his sister's familiar messy writing indicating the letter's authenticity.
"You don't have to read it now." Tohma offered, putting his glasses back on. "You can read it when you get home and begin your leave. I'll send out an announcement that we are pushing back our CD's release date."
"But, Tohma!" Ryuichi cried, quite shocked by his band mates actions.
"Go home, Sakuma-san, get some sleep, take a shower: you look dreadful. I won't take no as an answer."
Ryuichi nodded mutely and stood, clutching the envelope in his hand. Tohma smiled at him and tilted his head slightly.
"You have a week, two weeks at most, if that's not too soon for you. Take care of yourself, Ryuichi."
Ryuichi nodded and smiled half-heartedly, noting vaguely the use of his given name. He headed towards the door and pulled it open slowly. Before he exited he turned back to the blonde at his desk.
"Thank you." he said shortly.
Tohma smiled sadly and nodded, watching as the vocalist exited. Once outside Ryuichi stared down at the envelope in his hands and sighed. He wasn't sure if he had the heart to read this letter. Perhaps Tohma was right, he just needed a bit of time to cope, let it all sink in. Ryuichi sighed and headed out of the building in silent contemplation. What was he going to do now..?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryuichi sat in the corner of his bedroom, Kumagoro in his lap, and the letter from his sister clutched in his hands.
"Well, Kumagoro," Ryuichi sighed, flipping the letter over. "I guess we should read the letter imouto-chan wrote us, neh?"
Sucking in a deep breath Ryuichi ran a trembling finger beneath the flap that sealed the envelope. It opened easily and slowly Ryuichi extracted the letter inside. It was written on a piece of pink looking paper and had a few blotches where it appeared to have gotten wet and was smudged just a bit.
'Dear Oniisan,' Ryuichi paused, his breathe coming in short gasps. With all is being he forced himself to go on.
"Dear Oniisan,
My dear, dear brother, Ryuichi, I love you with all my heart and soul. You've made me so proud. You've grown and matured so much over the years, but you've still kept your youthful innocents all along. I just want you to know, my dear oniisan, you're my hero and nobody could ever take your place.'
Ryuichi stopped, a few tears sliding down his cheeks. His grip on Kumagoro tightened into a deadly grip and he sobbed despite his effort not to. She was gone forever, oh God, what had gone wrong? Why did she deserve this?
'If your reading this, it means that I'm no longer with you in the world of the living. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to pull through. I guess I'm just not as strong as you are, oniisan. I'm so sorry and I don't want you to be sad over me. I will always be alive inside your heart and whenever you need me that's where I'll be.'
A single tear fell down onto the paper in the brunette's hand and he bit his lip to keep from braking into sobs. 'No, Aya-chan, your my hero.' Ryuichi thought, squeezing his eyes shut. 'I'm the one who's sorry. I'm so sorry...' He sniffled, opening his eyes slowly as more tears fell. There was no hiding behind his mask of childish tendancies here. There was no quick fix on candy or anyway he could color himself happy. A part of him had died in there with his sister, he was broken and incomplete. Ryuichi stared at the pink paper, not really reading the rest of the words. His vision was blurred from tears and his sudden case of hiccups and sobs racked his body. Aya was his other half and now she was gone, he could never be complete again.
'We were never very close to kaasan and tousan while we grew up and I was always thankful I had you to be with. You made me so happy, Ryuichi. You were my best friend and you still are. Now, I need you to do me a favor. You're the only one I can trust to do this right.'
Trying to halt his tears Ryuichi set Kumagoro down for a moment and wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve. His sister needed him to do something and damnit he was going to do whatever it was. He owed it to Aya to grant her this last thing.
'You yourself have this amazing charisma and charm that woos everyone. You're so sweet and caring, there's not a person who could hate you. Of course all this is true, but I always wondered: Isn' t it lonely, this life that you lead? You never know what to expect, people always trying to use you for your fame and fortune; not having anything that's completely stable. I couldn't imagine living in your shoes, oniisan, and all that made my admiration grow. You are truly invincible.'
Ryuichi laughed, somewhat bitterly at that concept. Invincible was not a word to describe Ryuichi, he was everything but invincible. He shook his head, sniffling a bit as he did. 'If only your amazing portrait of me was accurate, imouto-chan. I'm nowhere as strong as you are, I can't even begin to say I'm in the same league.' he thought sadly. Taking a deep breath he continued on.
'What I am asking of you may not be an easy task, but I have faith that you will be able to handle it, I believe in you. Besides, you're both a lot alike and I think it may be comforting for her to meet somebody who won't abandon her. I'm afraid even I failed to stick by her like I promised. In the past month I have been helping out at a local orphanage on the outskirts of Tokyo. They don't have much and they're barely getting by. Over the month I've found a particular little girl whom I've been drawn to. She's the most adorable little thing ever and she reminded me so much of you that I couldn't help, but love her. I promised her that if the money was right I would adopt her at the end of my time at the orphanage, but alas I fell ill. I wish for you to pick up where I left off, Ryuichi.
The girl's name is Aishi Mionoki, but she goes by Mio so in your kindness please call her as this. She's roughly 9 years old and was abandoned by her parents as an infant. She needs somebody to love her, oniisan, she needs somebody who won't leave her. I think it'll do you both good to have each other. I'm begging you, Ryuichi, you're her only hope. I hope you will do this one last request for me, it means everything that she has a good life. With this I must leave you, I suppose. There's no pain really, that phase has passed, it's a blissful nonliving existence now. I feel tired and I know this will be my last resting, so please live life to the fullest my dear brother. Never take anything for granted, you just never know when it'll all be taken away. Ai shiteru, oniisan.
All my love, Aya-chan'
A fresh onslaught of tears washed over Ryuichi as he read the end of his sister's letter and he let them flow freely. She's died only a short time after that, the very last minutes of her life were put into this letter to him. Folding the letter delicately as if it were a piece of the most priceless porcelain, Ryuichi slid it back into it's envelope. He willed himself to stand and put it somewhere safe, but to no avail. He simply pulled his knees to his chest, clutching the letter over his heart as he sobbed.
"I won't let you down, my Aya-chan. I won't ever forget you either....Ai shiteru." he vowed to the nothingness around him. "You'll always be in my heart..."