Revolver And Friend: Words From An Idiot





Squall headed toward the Garden Lobby from his dorm room. The lobby was incredibly large and beautiful, colored in a dark tan hue and decorated with different types of plant life. The floors had a shiny luster to them, and the place looked like it was just built yesterday. This was where a lot of the socialization between Garden students went on, and this was the place that stood out in the minds of tourists and travelers to Balamb's famed training facility. A large cylindrical glass tube sat in the middle of the spacious room, serving as the main elevator that shuttled students to and from classes on the different levels of the Garden. Lining the elevator shuttle was a large man-made pond that many thought to be the pride and joy of Balamb. The school's official mascot was a fish, so many students and faculty touted this lovely display.

The pond teemed with a variety of aquatic life. Fish the world over swam in these waters, and it was because of Headmaster Cid's urging that this display be built to top off the Garden's uniqueness. Large carvings of stone fish that gushed water from their mouths lined the interior edges of the pond. These stone fish would alternate every ten seconds or so in water flow, creating quite a spectacle for the eye to see. Squall enjoyed it here because it was so peaceful and serene, and if he wasn't holed up in his dorm, he was enjoying the peace out here. Squall walked up to the edge of the pond and dipped his hand inside. A small school of tiny fish swam up to his hand, darting around and through the crevices of his fingers. As he ran his fingers in circles through the water, he thought to himself about the upcoming fight with Seifer.

"Damn... why'd I even open my mouth to speak to him? I should've just ignored him...now he'll bother me for the rest of the day." Squall took his hand out of the water, and the fish soon swam away in a different direction. "I wish I was a fish," he thought to himself. "Fish lead carefree lives. They don't have to fight monsters or deal with self-righteous pricks named Seifer." Squall stood there, gazing into the water for a few moments, until his concentration was interrupted by approaching footsteps behind him. He turned around to see a little freckle-faced boy with brown hair staring at him, running in place. It was the boy who regularly ran laps around the lobby everyday.

"What do you want kid? I'm busy," Squall told him in a dreary tone.

"..." The little kid had a wide grin on his face.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Ha-ha-ha! I know about you! I know about you," he said, pointing at Squall.

"Yeah? What is it that you know about me, brat?"

"I know that...that Zell likes you," he said, still running in place.

"Zell likes everyone, kid," Squall retorted. "He's popular. He's likable."

"Heh, not that way, dummy," the kid said, putting his hands on his hips. "I mean he 'likes' you! Get it?"

Squall narrowed his eyes at what he just heard. "I'm not a dummy."

"Yeah you are! Hey, hey, hey, check this out," he said, jumping up and down. "I saw! In the cafeteria! Ha-ha-ha!"

"Saw what," Squall asked, already fearing the response.

"I saw him touch your butt! Ha-ha-ha," the belligerent boy laughed.

Squall turned away, letting the boy laugh at him. "Damn," he thought to himself. "How did he..." He leaned over the fountain, trying to get his thoughts straightened out. He finally learned that it wasn't a figment of his imagination- -that Zell had just brushed by him on accident and that he mistakenly rubbed up against him. Squall discovered that it was quite the opposite- -that he had done it on purpose. Squall turned back to the kid and decided to ask him if he was lying or not.

"Are...are you sure you saw this? I mean..." Squall had trouble getting the words out. "Did you see what you think you saw?"

"Come on, old man," the child retorted. "I may be only ten years old, but I'm not THAT naive! Sheesh!"

Squall turned back to the pond, hanging his head down. "So it did happen," he told himself. "So it did..."

"So, what are you gonna do, old man," the kid asked him. "What will you say to him? Eh, eh, eh?"

"What do you mean 'what am I gonna do'? I won't do anything," Squall responded. "And what am I even doing talking to you, anyway? Scram kid, before faculty catches you playing hooky!"

"I'm not playing hooky, numbnuts," the boy responded, crossing his arms. Squall pulled his head back at these words. He was obviously shocked at his harsh vocabulary.

"Uhh," was all Squall could manage to say.

The boy looked over to the portal to the dormitory. He saw a young blonde come out. "Uh-oh...look who's here! It's...a love connection! Ha-ha-ha!" The boy got in close with Squall to offer some final words. "Listen, pal! I'm willing to bet that I know more about peoples' emotions than you...and that's a sad fact! If you want to find love, you have to be emotional, you know what I'm saying?!" The kid ran off, but not before yelling at him again. "Remember, be emotional! Or else!" The child began his daily routine of running laps in the lobby. Squall looked to see who was walking over to him, but he already had a relatively good guess as to who it was. The 'young blonde' was no one else but Zell.

"Hey! Squall, over here," Zell yelled out to him. Squall hung his head over the fountain as the other Garden student ran over to him. Squall thought about beating a hasty retreat before he arrived, but he figured Zell could probably catch him. And besides, he didn't have anyone to talk to. He was lonely after all. So...

"What the hell," Squall thought. "Emotion, eh...let's give it a try."

Zell came up beside him, not the least bit out of breath. He proceeded to speak to him, even though he didn't look up from the water. "Hey man! I couldn't find you after you made me leave your dorm, and I wanted to apologize and all, so~~

Squall looked up and interrupted him. "Zell! My main man! How's it hangin' man?" He slapped him on the back in a pathetic attempt at emotions. Zell was stunned into silence, mouth wide open.

"What, man," Squall asked with a goofy grin. "I thought you wanted to go scope out some chicks or somethin'! Don't come bustin' up my groove, dude!"

"...Squall," Zell asked. "Uhh..."

"Dude, you gotta understand! I needs my peace time, and I needs my booty! So~~"

"Squall! Come on now," Zell interrupted. "What is wrong with you?"

Squall stood there, grinning at him. Then the grin faded into a gloomy look of despair. "Nothing, Zell. Just forget it."

"Uh...Squall? Come on, tell me. Please?"

"Forget it. It...was an experiment. It's not that important." Squall turned back to the small pond, not even bothering to look at Zell. "What brings you here? An apology, I believe you said?"

Zell got his thoughts together and responded to his question. "...Yeah, right. You don't get 'booty' anyway, so I wouldn't believe that."

Squall looked up and sarcastically laughed. "Har-de-har-har."

"So anyway...yeah, I wanted to apologize about breaking your Revolver and stuff," Zell said, rubbing the back of his head. "I know how important it is to you and stuff."

"..."

"Seriously man. I'm really, really sorry."

"I know."

"So...now what?"

"It's fine, Zell. It's not broken, to tell you the truth."

"What? It isn't? But it's chipped and stuff, so I thought it was useless now."

"Well," Squall said, looking to the floor. "The gun module isn't 100% effective, but that can be easily fixed. Some of the internal wiring connecting the main trigger line to the mother grid inside of the barrel is severed, but like I said...it can be easily fixed.

The boy who was running laps in the lobby had found his way over to the two. Both of them turned to him as he ran by. Jogging slowly past them, he offered a caustic comment to Squall before he went on his way.

"Nice try, numbnuts! Ha-ha-ha!"

The boy was off again. Squall narrowed his eyes, and Zell was left wondering what had happened between them.

"Hey, what's with you and that kid," he asked him.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. He's just a little obnoxious bastard, is all."

"Ha-ha-ha! Wow, Squall...you, calling someone else obnoxious? Hmm...!"

Squall turned to Zell, looking at him with one eyebrow cocked. Zell stopped laughing and tried to apologize to him. "Okay, okay...Squall, I didn't mean it. Seriously."

"Mmm-hmm. So you say."

"Really, man. You don't believe me," he asked the darker-haired one.

"No. Sorry, I don't."

"All right. That's fine." Zell decided to change the topic to something they could both talk about. "Hey Squall...aren't you supposed to be going to the Fire Cavern today for your SeeD exam? You know today's the last day, so you can't procrastinate anymore."

Squall looked at Zell as if he had seen a ghost. He had completely forgotten that there was that SeeD exam that everyone had to take before they even so much as received a chance to become a SeeD. The test of the Fire Cavern had to be completed today, or else he'd have to wait another three months before he got another opportunity. He also ran the risk of being expelled from school for not completing the test, especially because he had so much time to prepare for it.

"Damnit! I completely forgot," Squall almost screamed out. "How could I have..."

"Well, like I said, you still have time," Zell reassured him. "Today."

"It's all Seifer's fault, that bastard. I had my mind on the fight for the whole week. I know it was because of that."

"Don't even mention his name. You'll be better off if you don't," Zell said in response.

"Easier said than done. I can't stand him."

"I can't either. Just let it roll right off of you. Seifer needs the attention, so ignore him."

"Yeah, right. If you say so."

Squall and Zell stood there, looking into the clear waters of the indoor fountain in silence. Zell looked up at him, seeing a look of grief and torment in his face. He wondered what was bothering him, considering he had acted so strangely a few minutes ago. Zell knew it wasn't the upcoming fight with Seifer- -Squall was already accustomed to Seifer's scare tactics and menacing behaviors to stay calm and collected during those bouts. It was something else- -something that had gotten to his very core. Something that affected him so much that he was completely at a loss to what he should do next. As he stared directly at his face, Squall didn't seem to notice...or he didn't seem to care. At that instant, the boy jogging laps came by again with more caustic remarks.

"Leonhart and Dincht...sitting in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...uh..." The boy stopped and thought about it, shrugged and kept on running. Both men were incensed at these remarks.

"Nice kid, Squall. One of your friends," Zell asked, gritting his teeth.

"No! Who do you take me for? Please," he countered.

"I'll say! He's about as appealing as a whiff of MALBORO'S BREATH," Zell said, emphasizing the last part so the kid could hear it. He just shooed it off and kept doing laps. Zell turned to the fountain, rolling his eyes and blushing. "Jerk."

"..." Squall also looked down to the fountain, also blushing. "Yes...I agree."

The quiet was tense. The silence seemed to last forever after that incident, now that both of them knew the other knew about 'that time'. Neither of them could think of what to say to the other without possibly bring offense or embarrassment into the equation. An unknown amount of time passed, and the kid jogging passed by them numerous times, offering more pointed words and harsh commentary. He certainly wasn't helping the situation they both thought, and it really couldn't get more awkward than this. Fed up with the comments, Zell decided he would get even the next time he came around. Finally, Squall mustered up the convictions to initiate the dead conversation.

"Zell, I~~"

"Squall, I~~"

They responded simultaneously. Both men laughed it off, and Squall offered to left Zell go first. "Please, go ahead."

"Are...you sure," Zell asked him, still pretty tense.

"Yes. It's fine with me. I can wait."

"O-Okay. Squall, about what happened...in the cafeteria..."

Squall looked at him curiously, thinking he knew what was about to come up. "Yes? What do you mean?"

"I...well, you see..."

The kid was on his way around again. Zell looked directly into his eyes as he came back to his side of the lobby. The boy began to make obnoxious kissing sounds, which began to get on Squall's nerves. He had practically slowed down to a walk, most likely to maximize the humiliation that they both were feeling.

"Kissy kissy, Leonhart! Kissy kissy, Dincht! A-hah-hah-hah," the mean kid remarked.

"Little snot-nosed brat," Squall countered under his breath, grinding his teeth. "You'll get yours someday. I can't stand people like you. You remind me of Seifer."

"Seifer's way cooler than you, idiot," the kid said with a grin, hearing what he said. "I hope he kicks your ass, so I don't have to when I get bigger and stronger! Bye, fools!" The kid started off running again, but not before Zell could act. Almost as a reflex, he stuck his leg out in front of the boy. He didn't see it, causing him to trip and smack his face on the hard tile floor of the Garden Lobby. The sound reverberated throughout the quiet chamber, making Squall grin with joy. The bratty child got up, sporting a bloody nose and teary eyes.

"Waaaah, you t-t-tripped me," he said, beginning to stutter. "I h-h-hate you!"

"You deserved it, kid! You're lucky you aren't a little older, or else I'd have mopped the floor with you! Now move," he said, pointing to Dr. Kadowaki's office.

The kid sniffed, trying to hold back the tears. "Waaaah, Dr. Kadowaki! Dincht tripped me! Waaaah," he wailed, running to the doctor's office. Squall broke out into laughter at this scene, and Zell stood proudly like he had just won an important award.

"Oh my goodness! Zell, that was so funny! I can't believe that," Squall chuckled aloud.

"Aah, it was nothing," Zell said humbly. "He should've kept his big mouth shut."

"Hah-hah, amazing! I should've done the same thing! You sounded like a drill sergeant when you told him to 'move'!"

"Yeah, I guess I did," he replied, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh man...well, I gotta go," Squall said out of the blue. "Bye, Zell."

Squall started toward the elevator, preparing to go see Quistis Trepe, a teacher at the Garden. He had just gotten to the elevator when Zell decided to ask 'the question'. Calling out to him, Zell ran up to ask.

"Squall," Zell said, running up to him. "I have something to ask you."

"Sure. Go ahead," he replied.

"Umm, about the incident in the cafeteria..."

Squall blushed again, looking to the floor. This in turn caused Zell to blush because it indicated that he knew what he was talking about. Squall had wanted to avoid this scenario altogether, but there was really no running from fate. Or so he thought. With all of his inner fortitude and strength, Squall managed to reply.

"I know, Zell. I...I know."

Another moment of awkward silence began. Breaking it before it could settle in, Zell said the first thing on his mind, paying no mind to consequences if there would be any.

"You have a nice laugh, Squall," Zell said, trying to ease the moment. He had some idea of what kind of reaction he wanted out of that comment. "I'd like to hear it again sometime. Those emotions were for real."

"Um...t-thanks, I guess," Squall nervously replied. He wasn't too shocked to know that Zell knew he was faking. "Thanks...I guess."

With that, he started toward the elevator. His back turned to Zell, the double doors closed, encasing him in the marble-and-glass confines of the shuttle. He turned around to press the '2F' button to send him to the classroom section of the Garden. The shuttle began to gently ascend through the glass tubing, moving on its way toward its determined destination. Squall could see Zell gazing up at him from the ground floor level, tightening his hands as he left him. He placed his hand on the glass as in indication that he recognized his feelings toward him. Squall solemnly shed a tear...not because he was ashamed of Zell's feelings or because his feelings were hurt by that boy that ran off. He cried...because he wanted to tell Zell how he really felt about him. It scared him to even attempt to do such a thing, but Squall wanted him to know that his feelings weren't entirely one-sided.