Revolver And Friend: The Day Hyperion Cried
Note: One of the longer chapters, but it's fine! Maybe too long for its own good, but we shall see!
"Phone call for you, Mr. Kramer," the soothing voice of Sheila the receptionist came through on the desk intercom on Cid's desk in his office. "It's that one man again. Do you want it?"
Cid, as usual, was lounging back in his leather swivel chair, not really doing much of anything that involved more than a lift of a finger. First Lieutenant Xu had been standing at his side, chatting with him when the call came. As soon as he heard 'it's that man' from her, he became somewhat nervous though.
"A-Ah, yes...yes, Sheila," Cid nervously said. A small bead of sweat had already begun to form on his brow. He immediately started to ignore Xu and focus on the task at hand. "Patch him through. I'll talk."
"Okay."
The 'call waiting' light on his sleek black phone lit up immediately, and Cid fumbled to get the machine to his ear.
"H...hello?"
"CID," the familiar voice boomed. "I-HAVE-EVERYTHING-SET-UP-FOR-YOU. NEXT-WEEK-THE-SEED-CANDIDATES-MOVE-TO-DOLLET-FOR-ADVANCED-PHYSICAL-TRAINING."
"Y-Yes sir. I understand sir."
"NOW-THEN, CID," the loud, hoarse voice spoke up. "WHAT-IS-THIS?"
"...What? W-What is what, sir," Cid asked, not sure of what the person was asking.
"I-HEARD-THROUGH-A-SOURCE-THAT-YOU-HAVE-BEEN-ABUSING-YOUR-AUTHORITY. IS-CID-ABUSING-HIS-POWER?"
"What do y-y-you mean, sir? I~~"
"YOU-ARE-AN-IDIOT-AS-USUAL-CID. I-HEARD-THROUGH-A-SPECIAL-SOURCE-THAT-YOU-HAVE-BEEN-ABUSING-YOUR-POWER."
"...?" Cid just looked at the phone like he didn't know what in the world he was talking about, while Xu stood stone-faced at his side, observing an oil painting on the wall. "...I'm not quite sure I understand you, sir."
"DO-I-HAVE-TO-SPELL-IT-OUT-FOR-YOU-CID? I-HEARD-THROUGH-A-SOURCE-THAT-YOU-ABUSED-YOUR-POWER-AND-EXCERCISED-SEVERE-BEATING-TO-A-GARDEN-STUDENT."
"..." Now Cid knew what he was talking about. But, he wondered...who could have told him about what happened to Seifer?
"YOU-ARE-QUIET-CID. THIS-MEANS-YOU-ARE-A-FOOL-AND-A-LIAR."
"..." He was petrified with fear, but couldn't find anything to say. Finally, he decided to try to lie his way out of the situation. "This source...this source must be lying."
"YOU-ARE-THE-LIAR-CID," the voice immediately rebuked him. "HOW-STUPID-DOES-CID-THINK-I-AM?"
"..."
"I-SEE. BUT-I-HAVE-MANY-PEOPLE-WATCHING-YOU-ALL-THE-TIME. PEOPLE-THAT-ARE-CLOSE-ASSOCIATES-OF-YOURS-ARE-WATCHING-YOU-AND-REPORTING-TO-ME."
Cid Kramer's mouth went agape at the very notion. People that worked with him...spies? He couldn't even begin to fathom how many people he divulged confidential information to were or could be spies for 'the boss'. Xu didn't see him but the Headmaster looked up at her, trying to wonder if she could be one of them. H shook his head at the thought and proceeded to talk to the man on the phone.
"I'm sorry," the man admitted. "Yes, I have been abusing my power. But I have been nervous lately. It's this whole Dollet mission that's got me worried."
"SEIFER-ALMASY," the voice simply said."
"...U-Um...yes, about that..." Cid knew he was caught.
"SQUALL-LEONHART."
"...What?"
"I-DON'T-CARE-CID. DID-YOU-KNOW-THERE-WAS-A-FIGHT-BETWEEN-THOSE-TWO YESTERDAY?"
"...U-Um...no." He wasn't lying. He really didn't know there was an assault on Zell yesterday- -that's how out of the loop and bureaucratic the Headmaster was. But a situation like this...he should've known something about it.
"LISTEN-TO-ME-CID. I-DO-NOT-CARE-ABOUT-GARDEN-STUDENTS. ALL-I-WANT-IS-MORE-AND-MORE-REVENUE. YOU-DO-NOT-HAVE-THE-POWER-TO-ADMINISTER-CORPORAL-PUNISHMENT."
"U-Umm, I~~"
"I-DON'T-CARE-CID," the voice reiterated, cutting the dumbfounded man off. "DON'T DEFY-ME-AGAIN-OR-I-WILL-CRUSH-YOU!"
With that, the phone was slammed down with such force on the other end that even Xu head it partially at a few feet away. She was about to open her mouth to ask what it was all about, but Cid stopped her directly.
"Oh," was all she said.
He sighed, placing his bifocals on his desk and leaning his head against his fist. "Xu, if you be so kind as to leave..."
"Hmm, but sir~~"
"Please...just go. I've got plenty of thinking to do..."
Xu begrudgingly agreed to go, but she was under him after all. As she strode on over to the door, Cid could do nothing but stare at her and wonder if she was one of the ones who was spying on him for 'that man'. It was unfortunate that he couldn't see her front as she was leaving, because the beautiful brunette had just put on a wide grin as she exited the office.
~~~~~~~~~~
At last, the end of the school day. Freedom for all of those poor, dreadful Garden students who absolutely hated their instructors- -not to mention the exams handed out almost daily. Everything ranging from maximization of magic strength from junctioning spells to raw combining elements of weaponry- -you had to know it all to become a SeeD. Yes...virtually every student counted the minutes until the end of classes, constantly watching their online desk-clocks and sighing because time couldn't move fast enough to their own liking. At long last, the loud and mechanical beep over the public intercom sounded. At long last, the day was finally over. Everyone was happy about that.
Everyone...except for one man.
Seifer Almasy. It was time all right- -time for his world to come to an end.
Showing almost no signs of life, the man made his way through the hallways to get to the cafeteria where he would meet with his victim of the previous day's assault. The very thought tore him up inside, because this time he didn't know what was coming. Zell had such an innocent, gleeful smile and demeanor in the Infirmary that it was relatively impossible to predict the outcome. On the main elevator, he began to think about the reasons why it had to come to this.
"God, he thought. "Maybe he meant it to be this way. Maybe he's just fucking with my head. That would be the ultimate revenge, though."
In the Garden Lobby, getting off of the elevator, he didn't see Fujin sneak up behind him. It brought a smile to his face when he laid eyes on her- -he was so gloomy that it felt like he was on his way to the executioner, never to see his friends again. Her kind smile, her silent but emphatic demeanor...these are the traits that Seifer loved to see so much.
"SEIFER," she asked him happily. "WHERE?"
"Aah, Fujin. Ya caught me at a bad time. What will I ever do with you, eh?"
"BUSY? SEIFER, WITH ZELL."
"Oh, yeah. That's where I was going. He pretty much commanded it. And I can't disobey him."
"SEIFER, HIT, PUNCH," Fujin suggested to him, saying that he should fight him. She threw a few mock punches to the air to demonstrate that point, but the sullen man immediately rejected that idea.
"Nope, sorry. No can do this time, Fujin."
"OH. SEIFER, TROUBLE?"
"Nah, I'll be just fine. But..." He wanted to level with her a little to explain his situation. But he just couldn't bear to bring the truth into the light. "Listen...Fujin..."
"HMM?"
"Fujin," he repeated seriously, looking directly into her eyes. "You and Raijin think I'm strong and that I can beat up anyone who gets in my way."
The woman nodded in agreement, not thinking otherwise about it. But Seifer was trying to get her to understand.
"No, Fujin...ya don't understand. Ya think I'm strong, but I'm not. I'm not strong."
"WEAK," she asked him.
"Yeah, very weak," he nodded in agreement, managing a small smile. "I'm not as big and powerful as people think I am. I just act that way because~~"
"FUJIN KNOW," she said. She looked down, her eyes filled with sadness, like something she cherished had disappeared from her person. "FUJIN KNOW ALL."
"What?"
"YOU NOT WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE."
"...Fujin, listen...you're right. To tell the truth, you have no idea how right you are."
This young woman before him looked sullenly into his eyes as he continued. Her feelings didn't quite feel right as everything continued on its set course. Something, she knew, was off...
"SEIFER," she asked curiously. "PROBLEM?"
"Listen to me...please. This is tough for me. Hell, it's enough that I have to suffer like this today..."
"...?"
Seifer sighed. "Listen," he told her, looking up at the silver clock on the wall. "I have to go now. There's something important I have to do." He started to walk away from Fujin.
"...Wa...it..."
Seifer didn't hear her begin to speak. "Bye...Fujin. Just remember- -I'm not who you think I am. I'm sorry...sorry that I couldn't be more of a friend."
"W...Wa-it...Se..if..er..."
The man had heard that, however. Turning around slowly, he looked at her in a strange fashion. "...Fujin? Ya say something?"
"Seifer...I..."
"What...Fujin, your talking~~"
"W-Wait, please," Fujin asked him. "I'm...feeling weird. But...please. Please don't shut me out. Let me speak."
This came as a shock to Seifer. In the four years they had been friends, he had never in his life heard Fujin talk normally in complete sentences. Maybe she was really concerned about him, he thought. It was amazing that anyone genuinely would care about him, and Seifer thought that Fujin just wanted to be one of the gang- -he didn't think there were any feelings between them. What in the world was happening here?"
"Fujin?"
"Seifer...God, this is hard. Hard for me to say. That's why I'm talking like this- -because what I'm about to tell you is so important. But it can't wait, because if I end up waiting longer, I may never tell you at all."
"...To tell me," he asked her. "I thought you wanted to ask me something."
"I know Seifer," Fujin continued, not looking up. "I know about...you."
"What are you talking about, Fujin?"
"Please, don't hide it. It makes this harder for the both of us. I know about the 'real' you. Your secret life..."
Seifer tried to understand what she was hinting at. When she raised her head, he looked into her eyes...only to find it written in the expression on her face. Pulling back in sheer horror, his eyes widened as the mass of what she was trying to convey settled upon him. His heart beating quickly, the sweat forming on his brow, the hastened breathing...he was reacting to have been found out by one of his two best friends in the world. He felt like falling off the face of the planet right about now.
"F-Fujin...please, let me explain~~"
"You don't have to explain," she interrupted. "I'm not angry at you. I...my heart just hurts, is all."
"What?"
"When I followed you that day...one year ago, in May," she continued. "When I followed you to Balamb, I saw you...it made my heart hurt, but I saw you. You had that bouquet of Red Snapdragon roses. And you had that emerald ring...I wasn't hurting because I was sad, but because I was happy that you were happy."
"Fujin, I~~"
She interrupted him again. "That man...you seemed so happy with him. The way you kissed him when you met him in the back alleys near the train station...the hapiness in his voice when he got the roses...you were insane with love, but you were happy. And I felt good that you weren't alone then. I had always wondered why you went off by yourself to Balamb and didn't let either Raijin or myself go with you. I figured it was because you wanted time by yourself, but if I had known...you...back then, I would've been more courteous."
"..."
"You did, though. Time to yourself...with your lover. I wasn't mad at you, though. And I'm not mad at you now. I...I loved you." Her head hung downwards again, her voice quivering with sorrow. "Forgive me, Seifer...Oh God, please forgive me."
Seifer's heart was hurting, just like Fujin said hers was. It was too much to bear...she had followed him, spied on him with his lover...it was just way too much to comprehend at the time. He felt a little betrayed by this woman standing before him. But at the same time, he knew that Fujin didn't mean any harm. He honestly believed that all she wanted for him was some sense of pleasure...and now he felt even more guilty- -he thought his betrayal had brought her to tears. And compounded with the horror that he thought he caused her when she saw him with 'that man'...it probably destroyed her.
"God, Fujin...Fujin, I am so sorry," Seifer pleaded honestly. "I never wanted you to find out like this...damnit. I was gonna tell you someday, but I didn't feel brave enough to tell anyone. I'm not mad at you for following me, Fujin...I'm mad at myself for being so dishonest about everything. I should be asking you for forgiveness."
"No...that's not right. I thought I could change you after that...my feelings for you became even stronger after that day. I was selfish, and I still am to this day. Seifer..."
"Fujin, I~~"
"I still love you," the woman confided to him. "I want to get close to you and never let you go. But I know that is impossible to do right now. I feel so deluded for even thinking I could change you."
"...Fujin..."
"But I know I have to let you go. It hurts me to do so, and it'll never be your fault that I am this way. But...I just can't change my feelings. I can never change the path my heart has taken."
Seifer, now sinking even deeper in this quagmire of grief and pain, couldn't look his longtime friend in the eye anymore. He knew deep in the back of his mind that it was fault for not saying anything earlier to her...the feelings in his chest tore him to shreds on the inside. Fujin, now crying her ice-blue eyes out, started to slowly back away from him.
"It's not your fault...don't think that, ever," Fujin told Seifer in an attempt to make him feel better. "Like I said, my heart cannot be controlled, and I'll always love you. But if I could never be with you, and you could be happy with your man, then...that would've been enough for me."
"I...I..." Tears were beginning to stream down the reddened cheeks of the man named Seifer Almasy. Her words rang true with each syllable she spoke.
"Since he died, you've been trapped within a prison of your own misery...and it kills me to see you like that. I know about that too- -you told me five months ago that someone close to you had died. You told me that it was a relative of yours in Timber, but after that person died, you never went to Balamb again."
"...Aah...but~~"
"Please Seifer...don't shut me out. I don't want you suffering like this...not now, not ever. I'll live, but you...I'm worried more about you."
"..."
After a long, tense moment, Fujin started off to leave, heading toward the Training Facility. Seifer stopped her in her tracks be calling out to ask her something. Trying desperately to stifle back whimpers and tears, he spoke up to her.
"Fujin...is it...really okay? I hurt you...I never meant to hurt you."
After another painful silence, she answered back without looking at him. "...I'm okay."
With the end of that, Fujin ran off whimpering into the depths of the Training Facility. She never wanted to show any emotion- -she tried so desperately to hold it all back in case it would hurt him. Seifer never realized how the woman felt towards him, and now that everything had been thrust out into the open between them, everything had gone numb. The pain, the sorrow...all of it had seemingly died inside of him. The pain of Seifer's loss within a lover was blunted by the trauma of having been discovered by a woman very close to him...but he knew that the numbness wouldn't last. Fujin dealt with her pain by inflicting pain on monsters, and Seifer dealt with his by inflicting it on people. He knew he was no better than the men who killed his lover...he was nothing more than a barbaric monster that preyed on the weaknesses of others to numb his own pain.
"Fujin," he moaned. "God...damn. It's my fault. You say it's not, but...but it is." Seifer slumped down onto one of the stairs leading up to the elevator, awash in the numbness permeating his veins. The tears continued to flow on as his world made out of glass cane crashing down around him. Seifer felt broken and lonely. He always knew he was unpopular and a loner, but now that fact was bearing down on him like the sun's heat on a hot summer day. He felt like telling someone...anyone...anyone who would be kind enough to listen to him. Telling them about himself and his past. But no one liked him enough to listen. Everyone hated him.
"I'm...alone. All alone," Seifer whispered lifelessly to himself, hanging his head down in shame and regret. "No one...cares about me."
Just then, Zell walked angrily into the Garden Lobby from the Cafeteria section. He didn't see Seifer until he walked over near the elevators, but when he did he tore into him for being late to see him.
"What the fuck," Zell snapped. "I thought I told you I wanted to see you after classes!" The martial artist wasn't too pleased with how Seifer missed his scheduled meeting with him. And the fact that he didn't look at him when he was talking made it even worse. "Figures. You were never sorry to begin with. You're nothin' but a bastard! A loser bastard! If you ever try and get close to me or Squall, you're~~~"
Seifer's head slowly craned up to look at an angry Zell standing over him, chewing him out. Zell couldn't believe what was taking place in front of his face- -his archenemy, who was known for his hard-as-nails personality and tough-guy attitude was sitting before him, crying his eyes out. His cheeks filled with color and his eyes reddened from the tears, something earth-shattering must've happened to him. Or at least that's what Zell thought, because he had never in his life seen Seifer this emotional in his entire time at Balamb Garden. Zell, toning down the anger quite a bit, initiated the conversation.
"Man, Seifer," the spiky-haired young student asked. "You were late. Obviously I am mad a little, but...what in the hell happened to you?"
"Five months ago," Seifer replied, hanging his head down. Zell didn't quite understand what he meant.
"...What?"
"Five...months ago. That day will live on in my heart as the worst day in my life."
"Five months ago...what do you mean?"
Zell looked at him, perplexed as to what he was trying to say. After a moment though, it hit him. What Dr. Kadowaki had told him about Seifer...what she had said had happened to him five months ago. The only think she told Zell was that Seifer was stabbed and that he told her he was gay. But, there had to be something else involved...
"Seifer," Zell asked him. The youth sat down next to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Hey man, what's up? This isn't like you...what in the hell happened five months ago?"
The taller blonde didn't even flinch at Zell's touch. Instead, he just kept on talking like nothing had happened. It was almost as if all the life had drained out of him.
"God...my fault..."
"What, man? What's your fault?"
"He's dead. And it's because I wasn't there to protect him. Even though I swore I'd always be there to protect him...I failed him. I am a bastard."
"..."
"I had a lover once, man."
"What?!"
"Yeah," Seifer said lifelessly, not raising his head up. "I had someone I loved."
"W-Who? You mean..."
"Someone in Balamb. You didn't know it. No one knew it. Except for Fujin. And I hurt her feelings."
"What happened to Fujin?" Zell shocked himself- -he was actually interested in Seifer's past and present. "What did you do?"
"..."
"...Fuck. I'm sorry, Seifer. Here I go, thinking you did something, and it was your fault."
"You're right. It was my fault that I hurt Fujin's feelings. I tore her heart out and stomped on it. But I never cared enough about anyone else to know any better. Especially Fujin."
"...Umm..."
"I had a clandestine lover," he continued. "His name was Ty and I loved him...God, I miss those days..."
"...Really," Zell said with growing interest. "This Ty...you loved him that much?"
"Hell yeah," Seifer retorted. "God, he was the light of my life. Fuckin' strong, tanned, tall, handsome, smart...he had it all."
"..."
"...Heh. Sounds a little corny, eh? Some way of lightening up the atmosphere." Seifer looked up at Zell and managed a small smile. Zell returned the favor with a little grin of his own. "Yep...he really was my soulmate. I used to believe in fairytales and myths like that...I used to, but not now."
"What happened," the shorter one asked.
"..." The tears were coming back in full force now. The numbness never faded, but the tears would always be there. "He...was murdered."
Zell jumped back in sheer horror. "What?! Murdered? How in the fuck?"
"Please, man...let me finish."
"Oh...sorry. But that sucks...I'm sorry, Seifer."
"Nah, if anyone has to do the apologizing here, it's me. You don't have to say sorry to me for anything. Remember, I'm the bad guy here, not you."
"Yeah, but you're not all bad though."
That little compliment had slipped out from Zell's mouth from the back of his mind. No way had he ever meant to compliment Seifer, especially in a time like this with everything that happened between them. Zell still feared somewhere that the old, cruel Seifer would come lashing out at him and perhaps finish the job he started out upon. The conversation stalled after that but Seifer instinctively started it up again, like he knew that Zell had made a mistake.
"You don't know the half of me," he joked with dark humor.
"Hm, yeah. I suppose that's what I get, eh?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
Zell sighed. "So...what about Ty? You said that he was killed?"
"...Yeah. He was murdered by two of his clients."
"...Clients? Was he a lawyer or something?"
Seifer shook his head. "Not quite, Zell. He was involved in the oldest profession in the world."
"The oldest...profession? What is..." After a few moments, Zell put it together and responded. "Oh, you don't mean..."
"Yep. He was a prostitute."
Zell looked away, unable to find anything to say to comfort Seifer. But again, the saddened man sensed another tense moment coming and averted it.
"Ya don't have to say anything."
"Y-Yeah, but~~"
"It's fine," he reiterated. "Besides, there's nothing I can do now. The past is long buried in the layers of time...there's nothing I can do."
"..."
"So anyway," he continued. "Five months ago, I secretly went down to Balamb to see him. I knew where he lived, and he wasn't expecting me, so I didn't think it mattered. Anyway, I got to his shack, which happened to be in the seedy part of Balamb. I went inside of the apartment building, went to his door and knocked. The door wasn't even closed- -it was partially ajar."
"Oh...my goodness."
"Yeah, that's what I said," Seifer commented. "Anyway, I went in, and...I..." He was beginning to choke up.
"...Seifer?"
"...Oh...God, it was....so horrible. All I found was his...his dead body propped up in a closet..." Seifer began to rub his face in sheer anguish, the tears being pressed into his face. "God, there was...blood everywhere..."
"Oh fuck...that...oh man, Seifer..."
"...They attacked me. They were...lying in wait, one under the bed and one in the bathroom...waiting for someone to come and discover the body...and they stabbed me. But I killed them."
Now Zell was piecing it together. The stab wound that Dr. Kadowaki had to treat and Seifer's admission that he was gay to her...it was all in reaction to the death of his only lover, Ty. Now it was all making sense to him. He wasn't going to tell Seifer that the kind doctor told him, but he wanted to know more.
"How did you get back to the Garden," Zell asked him. "If you were stabbed in the abdomen, then it...oh shit."
Seifer looked up at him, staring in disbelief. Zell's mouth had gotten the better of him again, and after he swore he'd keep it secret, too.
"I never told you I was stabbed in the abdomen."
"Damnit...Seifer, I am so sorry..."
"..."
"Fuck...listen, Dr. Kadowaki told me. That's why it makes sense to me now."
"I'm not mad. Actually, it makes things easier."
"What? Really?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh...wow! I thought you were gonna beat me up...or...something......hmm, not the right words again, huh?"
Seifer could only grin and shake his head a little as he continued. "Yep, that stab wound to the abdomen is what happened. I got a ride back to the Garden from someone in town. If he hadn't have picked me up, I'd probably be dead right now."
"...Aah..."
Seifer stared into Zell's eyes for what seemed like forever, and Zell was powerless to pull away. For some odd reason that he couldn't explain, the master of the gunblade felt connected to him now. Even through their trials and ordeals, he felt closer to Zell than anyone he had ever felt closer to in his life...with the exception of Ty.
"Thanks, man," Seifer said, honesty showing in his voice. "I feel a little better just telling someone about life. Even if you don't care, I'm just happy someone took the time out to listen."
"...Umm, yeah. Well, any...time, I guess..." Zell's voice trailed off, while he never tore his gaze away from Seifer's. There was something beyond explanation happening between these two men, but Zell wasn't afraid of whatever it was. He knew now that Seifer wouldn't hurt him anymore...in fact he would probably be nicer to him than ever before. The moment ending all of a sudden, Seifer nodded approvingly and got up to head to his dorm room. But before he left, he turned back around and said something to Zell that made the fighter wonder.
"I feel great. This grief, this torture...it's lifting. Maybe I can find someone to love again."
With that, he gave Zell a friendly wink and left. Zell, dumbfounded at Seifer's apparent and miraculous personality change, was left wondering if what he just said could have a possible hidden meaning.
Note: One of the longer chapters, but it's fine! Maybe too long for its own good, but we shall see!
"Phone call for you, Mr. Kramer," the soothing voice of Sheila the receptionist came through on the desk intercom on Cid's desk in his office. "It's that one man again. Do you want it?"
Cid, as usual, was lounging back in his leather swivel chair, not really doing much of anything that involved more than a lift of a finger. First Lieutenant Xu had been standing at his side, chatting with him when the call came. As soon as he heard 'it's that man' from her, he became somewhat nervous though.
"A-Ah, yes...yes, Sheila," Cid nervously said. A small bead of sweat had already begun to form on his brow. He immediately started to ignore Xu and focus on the task at hand. "Patch him through. I'll talk."
"Okay."
The 'call waiting' light on his sleek black phone lit up immediately, and Cid fumbled to get the machine to his ear.
"H...hello?"
"CID," the familiar voice boomed. "I-HAVE-EVERYTHING-SET-UP-FOR-YOU. NEXT-WEEK-THE-SEED-CANDIDATES-MOVE-TO-DOLLET-FOR-ADVANCED-PHYSICAL-TRAINING."
"Y-Yes sir. I understand sir."
"NOW-THEN, CID," the loud, hoarse voice spoke up. "WHAT-IS-THIS?"
"...What? W-What is what, sir," Cid asked, not sure of what the person was asking.
"I-HEARD-THROUGH-A-SOURCE-THAT-YOU-HAVE-BEEN-ABUSING-YOUR-AUTHORITY. IS-CID-ABUSING-HIS-POWER?"
"What do y-y-you mean, sir? I~~"
"YOU-ARE-AN-IDIOT-AS-USUAL-CID. I-HEARD-THROUGH-A-SPECIAL-SOURCE-THAT-YOU-HAVE-BEEN-ABUSING-YOUR-POWER."
"...?" Cid just looked at the phone like he didn't know what in the world he was talking about, while Xu stood stone-faced at his side, observing an oil painting on the wall. "...I'm not quite sure I understand you, sir."
"DO-I-HAVE-TO-SPELL-IT-OUT-FOR-YOU-CID? I-HEARD-THROUGH-A-SOURCE-THAT-YOU-ABUSED-YOUR-POWER-AND-EXCERCISED-SEVERE-BEATING-TO-A-GARDEN-STUDENT."
"..." Now Cid knew what he was talking about. But, he wondered...who could have told him about what happened to Seifer?
"YOU-ARE-QUIET-CID. THIS-MEANS-YOU-ARE-A-FOOL-AND-A-LIAR."
"..." He was petrified with fear, but couldn't find anything to say. Finally, he decided to try to lie his way out of the situation. "This source...this source must be lying."
"YOU-ARE-THE-LIAR-CID," the voice immediately rebuked him. "HOW-STUPID-DOES-CID-THINK-I-AM?"
"..."
"I-SEE. BUT-I-HAVE-MANY-PEOPLE-WATCHING-YOU-ALL-THE-TIME. PEOPLE-THAT-ARE-CLOSE-ASSOCIATES-OF-YOURS-ARE-WATCHING-YOU-AND-REPORTING-TO-ME."
Cid Kramer's mouth went agape at the very notion. People that worked with him...spies? He couldn't even begin to fathom how many people he divulged confidential information to were or could be spies for 'the boss'. Xu didn't see him but the Headmaster looked up at her, trying to wonder if she could be one of them. H shook his head at the thought and proceeded to talk to the man on the phone.
"I'm sorry," the man admitted. "Yes, I have been abusing my power. But I have been nervous lately. It's this whole Dollet mission that's got me worried."
"SEIFER-ALMASY," the voice simply said."
"...U-Um...yes, about that..." Cid knew he was caught.
"SQUALL-LEONHART."
"...What?"
"I-DON'T-CARE-CID. DID-YOU-KNOW-THERE-WAS-A-FIGHT-BETWEEN-THOSE-TWO YESTERDAY?"
"...U-Um...no." He wasn't lying. He really didn't know there was an assault on Zell yesterday- -that's how out of the loop and bureaucratic the Headmaster was. But a situation like this...he should've known something about it.
"LISTEN-TO-ME-CID. I-DO-NOT-CARE-ABOUT-GARDEN-STUDENTS. ALL-I-WANT-IS-MORE-AND-MORE-REVENUE. YOU-DO-NOT-HAVE-THE-POWER-TO-ADMINISTER-CORPORAL-PUNISHMENT."
"U-Umm, I~~"
"I-DON'T-CARE-CID," the voice reiterated, cutting the dumbfounded man off. "DON'T DEFY-ME-AGAIN-OR-I-WILL-CRUSH-YOU!"
With that, the phone was slammed down with such force on the other end that even Xu head it partially at a few feet away. She was about to open her mouth to ask what it was all about, but Cid stopped her directly.
"Oh," was all she said.
He sighed, placing his bifocals on his desk and leaning his head against his fist. "Xu, if you be so kind as to leave..."
"Hmm, but sir~~"
"Please...just go. I've got plenty of thinking to do..."
Xu begrudgingly agreed to go, but she was under him after all. As she strode on over to the door, Cid could do nothing but stare at her and wonder if she was one of the ones who was spying on him for 'that man'. It was unfortunate that he couldn't see her front as she was leaving, because the beautiful brunette had just put on a wide grin as she exited the office.
~~~~~~~~~~
At last, the end of the school day. Freedom for all of those poor, dreadful Garden students who absolutely hated their instructors- -not to mention the exams handed out almost daily. Everything ranging from maximization of magic strength from junctioning spells to raw combining elements of weaponry- -you had to know it all to become a SeeD. Yes...virtually every student counted the minutes until the end of classes, constantly watching their online desk-clocks and sighing because time couldn't move fast enough to their own liking. At long last, the loud and mechanical beep over the public intercom sounded. At long last, the day was finally over. Everyone was happy about that.
Everyone...except for one man.
Seifer Almasy. It was time all right- -time for his world to come to an end.
Showing almost no signs of life, the man made his way through the hallways to get to the cafeteria where he would meet with his victim of the previous day's assault. The very thought tore him up inside, because this time he didn't know what was coming. Zell had such an innocent, gleeful smile and demeanor in the Infirmary that it was relatively impossible to predict the outcome. On the main elevator, he began to think about the reasons why it had to come to this.
"God, he thought. "Maybe he meant it to be this way. Maybe he's just fucking with my head. That would be the ultimate revenge, though."
In the Garden Lobby, getting off of the elevator, he didn't see Fujin sneak up behind him. It brought a smile to his face when he laid eyes on her- -he was so gloomy that it felt like he was on his way to the executioner, never to see his friends again. Her kind smile, her silent but emphatic demeanor...these are the traits that Seifer loved to see so much.
"SEIFER," she asked him happily. "WHERE?"
"Aah, Fujin. Ya caught me at a bad time. What will I ever do with you, eh?"
"BUSY? SEIFER, WITH ZELL."
"Oh, yeah. That's where I was going. He pretty much commanded it. And I can't disobey him."
"SEIFER, HIT, PUNCH," Fujin suggested to him, saying that he should fight him. She threw a few mock punches to the air to demonstrate that point, but the sullen man immediately rejected that idea.
"Nope, sorry. No can do this time, Fujin."
"OH. SEIFER, TROUBLE?"
"Nah, I'll be just fine. But..." He wanted to level with her a little to explain his situation. But he just couldn't bear to bring the truth into the light. "Listen...Fujin..."
"HMM?"
"Fujin," he repeated seriously, looking directly into her eyes. "You and Raijin think I'm strong and that I can beat up anyone who gets in my way."
The woman nodded in agreement, not thinking otherwise about it. But Seifer was trying to get her to understand.
"No, Fujin...ya don't understand. Ya think I'm strong, but I'm not. I'm not strong."
"WEAK," she asked him.
"Yeah, very weak," he nodded in agreement, managing a small smile. "I'm not as big and powerful as people think I am. I just act that way because~~"
"FUJIN KNOW," she said. She looked down, her eyes filled with sadness, like something she cherished had disappeared from her person. "FUJIN KNOW ALL."
"What?"
"YOU NOT WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE."
"...Fujin, listen...you're right. To tell the truth, you have no idea how right you are."
This young woman before him looked sullenly into his eyes as he continued. Her feelings didn't quite feel right as everything continued on its set course. Something, she knew, was off...
"SEIFER," she asked curiously. "PROBLEM?"
"Listen to me...please. This is tough for me. Hell, it's enough that I have to suffer like this today..."
"...?"
Seifer sighed. "Listen," he told her, looking up at the silver clock on the wall. "I have to go now. There's something important I have to do." He started to walk away from Fujin.
"...Wa...it..."
Seifer didn't hear her begin to speak. "Bye...Fujin. Just remember- -I'm not who you think I am. I'm sorry...sorry that I couldn't be more of a friend."
"W...Wa-it...Se..if..er..."
The man had heard that, however. Turning around slowly, he looked at her in a strange fashion. "...Fujin? Ya say something?"
"Seifer...I..."
"What...Fujin, your talking~~"
"W-Wait, please," Fujin asked him. "I'm...feeling weird. But...please. Please don't shut me out. Let me speak."
This came as a shock to Seifer. In the four years they had been friends, he had never in his life heard Fujin talk normally in complete sentences. Maybe she was really concerned about him, he thought. It was amazing that anyone genuinely would care about him, and Seifer thought that Fujin just wanted to be one of the gang- -he didn't think there were any feelings between them. What in the world was happening here?"
"Fujin?"
"Seifer...God, this is hard. Hard for me to say. That's why I'm talking like this- -because what I'm about to tell you is so important. But it can't wait, because if I end up waiting longer, I may never tell you at all."
"...To tell me," he asked her. "I thought you wanted to ask me something."
"I know Seifer," Fujin continued, not looking up. "I know about...you."
"What are you talking about, Fujin?"
"Please, don't hide it. It makes this harder for the both of us. I know about the 'real' you. Your secret life..."
Seifer tried to understand what she was hinting at. When she raised her head, he looked into her eyes...only to find it written in the expression on her face. Pulling back in sheer horror, his eyes widened as the mass of what she was trying to convey settled upon him. His heart beating quickly, the sweat forming on his brow, the hastened breathing...he was reacting to have been found out by one of his two best friends in the world. He felt like falling off the face of the planet right about now.
"F-Fujin...please, let me explain~~"
"You don't have to explain," she interrupted. "I'm not angry at you. I...my heart just hurts, is all."
"What?"
"When I followed you that day...one year ago, in May," she continued. "When I followed you to Balamb, I saw you...it made my heart hurt, but I saw you. You had that bouquet of Red Snapdragon roses. And you had that emerald ring...I wasn't hurting because I was sad, but because I was happy that you were happy."
"Fujin, I~~"
She interrupted him again. "That man...you seemed so happy with him. The way you kissed him when you met him in the back alleys near the train station...the hapiness in his voice when he got the roses...you were insane with love, but you were happy. And I felt good that you weren't alone then. I had always wondered why you went off by yourself to Balamb and didn't let either Raijin or myself go with you. I figured it was because you wanted time by yourself, but if I had known...you...back then, I would've been more courteous."
"..."
"You did, though. Time to yourself...with your lover. I wasn't mad at you, though. And I'm not mad at you now. I...I loved you." Her head hung downwards again, her voice quivering with sorrow. "Forgive me, Seifer...Oh God, please forgive me."
Seifer's heart was hurting, just like Fujin said hers was. It was too much to bear...she had followed him, spied on him with his lover...it was just way too much to comprehend at the time. He felt a little betrayed by this woman standing before him. But at the same time, he knew that Fujin didn't mean any harm. He honestly believed that all she wanted for him was some sense of pleasure...and now he felt even more guilty- -he thought his betrayal had brought her to tears. And compounded with the horror that he thought he caused her when she saw him with 'that man'...it probably destroyed her.
"God, Fujin...Fujin, I am so sorry," Seifer pleaded honestly. "I never wanted you to find out like this...damnit. I was gonna tell you someday, but I didn't feel brave enough to tell anyone. I'm not mad at you for following me, Fujin...I'm mad at myself for being so dishonest about everything. I should be asking you for forgiveness."
"No...that's not right. I thought I could change you after that...my feelings for you became even stronger after that day. I was selfish, and I still am to this day. Seifer..."
"Fujin, I~~"
"I still love you," the woman confided to him. "I want to get close to you and never let you go. But I know that is impossible to do right now. I feel so deluded for even thinking I could change you."
"...Fujin..."
"But I know I have to let you go. It hurts me to do so, and it'll never be your fault that I am this way. But...I just can't change my feelings. I can never change the path my heart has taken."
Seifer, now sinking even deeper in this quagmire of grief and pain, couldn't look his longtime friend in the eye anymore. He knew deep in the back of his mind that it was fault for not saying anything earlier to her...the feelings in his chest tore him to shreds on the inside. Fujin, now crying her ice-blue eyes out, started to slowly back away from him.
"It's not your fault...don't think that, ever," Fujin told Seifer in an attempt to make him feel better. "Like I said, my heart cannot be controlled, and I'll always love you. But if I could never be with you, and you could be happy with your man, then...that would've been enough for me."
"I...I..." Tears were beginning to stream down the reddened cheeks of the man named Seifer Almasy. Her words rang true with each syllable she spoke.
"Since he died, you've been trapped within a prison of your own misery...and it kills me to see you like that. I know about that too- -you told me five months ago that someone close to you had died. You told me that it was a relative of yours in Timber, but after that person died, you never went to Balamb again."
"...Aah...but~~"
"Please Seifer...don't shut me out. I don't want you suffering like this...not now, not ever. I'll live, but you...I'm worried more about you."
"..."
After a long, tense moment, Fujin started off to leave, heading toward the Training Facility. Seifer stopped her in her tracks be calling out to ask her something. Trying desperately to stifle back whimpers and tears, he spoke up to her.
"Fujin...is it...really okay? I hurt you...I never meant to hurt you."
After another painful silence, she answered back without looking at him. "...I'm okay."
With the end of that, Fujin ran off whimpering into the depths of the Training Facility. She never wanted to show any emotion- -she tried so desperately to hold it all back in case it would hurt him. Seifer never realized how the woman felt towards him, and now that everything had been thrust out into the open between them, everything had gone numb. The pain, the sorrow...all of it had seemingly died inside of him. The pain of Seifer's loss within a lover was blunted by the trauma of having been discovered by a woman very close to him...but he knew that the numbness wouldn't last. Fujin dealt with her pain by inflicting pain on monsters, and Seifer dealt with his by inflicting it on people. He knew he was no better than the men who killed his lover...he was nothing more than a barbaric monster that preyed on the weaknesses of others to numb his own pain.
"Fujin," he moaned. "God...damn. It's my fault. You say it's not, but...but it is." Seifer slumped down onto one of the stairs leading up to the elevator, awash in the numbness permeating his veins. The tears continued to flow on as his world made out of glass cane crashing down around him. Seifer felt broken and lonely. He always knew he was unpopular and a loner, but now that fact was bearing down on him like the sun's heat on a hot summer day. He felt like telling someone...anyone...anyone who would be kind enough to listen to him. Telling them about himself and his past. But no one liked him enough to listen. Everyone hated him.
"I'm...alone. All alone," Seifer whispered lifelessly to himself, hanging his head down in shame and regret. "No one...cares about me."
Just then, Zell walked angrily into the Garden Lobby from the Cafeteria section. He didn't see Seifer until he walked over near the elevators, but when he did he tore into him for being late to see him.
"What the fuck," Zell snapped. "I thought I told you I wanted to see you after classes!" The martial artist wasn't too pleased with how Seifer missed his scheduled meeting with him. And the fact that he didn't look at him when he was talking made it even worse. "Figures. You were never sorry to begin with. You're nothin' but a bastard! A loser bastard! If you ever try and get close to me or Squall, you're~~~"
Seifer's head slowly craned up to look at an angry Zell standing over him, chewing him out. Zell couldn't believe what was taking place in front of his face- -his archenemy, who was known for his hard-as-nails personality and tough-guy attitude was sitting before him, crying his eyes out. His cheeks filled with color and his eyes reddened from the tears, something earth-shattering must've happened to him. Or at least that's what Zell thought, because he had never in his life seen Seifer this emotional in his entire time at Balamb Garden. Zell, toning down the anger quite a bit, initiated the conversation.
"Man, Seifer," the spiky-haired young student asked. "You were late. Obviously I am mad a little, but...what in the hell happened to you?"
"Five months ago," Seifer replied, hanging his head down. Zell didn't quite understand what he meant.
"...What?"
"Five...months ago. That day will live on in my heart as the worst day in my life."
"Five months ago...what do you mean?"
Zell looked at him, perplexed as to what he was trying to say. After a moment though, it hit him. What Dr. Kadowaki had told him about Seifer...what she had said had happened to him five months ago. The only think she told Zell was that Seifer was stabbed and that he told her he was gay. But, there had to be something else involved...
"Seifer," Zell asked him. The youth sat down next to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Hey man, what's up? This isn't like you...what in the hell happened five months ago?"
The taller blonde didn't even flinch at Zell's touch. Instead, he just kept on talking like nothing had happened. It was almost as if all the life had drained out of him.
"God...my fault..."
"What, man? What's your fault?"
"He's dead. And it's because I wasn't there to protect him. Even though I swore I'd always be there to protect him...I failed him. I am a bastard."
"..."
"I had a lover once, man."
"What?!"
"Yeah," Seifer said lifelessly, not raising his head up. "I had someone I loved."
"W-Who? You mean..."
"Someone in Balamb. You didn't know it. No one knew it. Except for Fujin. And I hurt her feelings."
"What happened to Fujin?" Zell shocked himself- -he was actually interested in Seifer's past and present. "What did you do?"
"..."
"...Fuck. I'm sorry, Seifer. Here I go, thinking you did something, and it was your fault."
"You're right. It was my fault that I hurt Fujin's feelings. I tore her heart out and stomped on it. But I never cared enough about anyone else to know any better. Especially Fujin."
"...Umm..."
"I had a clandestine lover," he continued. "His name was Ty and I loved him...God, I miss those days..."
"...Really," Zell said with growing interest. "This Ty...you loved him that much?"
"Hell yeah," Seifer retorted. "God, he was the light of my life. Fuckin' strong, tanned, tall, handsome, smart...he had it all."
"..."
"...Heh. Sounds a little corny, eh? Some way of lightening up the atmosphere." Seifer looked up at Zell and managed a small smile. Zell returned the favor with a little grin of his own. "Yep...he really was my soulmate. I used to believe in fairytales and myths like that...I used to, but not now."
"What happened," the shorter one asked.
"..." The tears were coming back in full force now. The numbness never faded, but the tears would always be there. "He...was murdered."
Zell jumped back in sheer horror. "What?! Murdered? How in the fuck?"
"Please, man...let me finish."
"Oh...sorry. But that sucks...I'm sorry, Seifer."
"Nah, if anyone has to do the apologizing here, it's me. You don't have to say sorry to me for anything. Remember, I'm the bad guy here, not you."
"Yeah, but you're not all bad though."
That little compliment had slipped out from Zell's mouth from the back of his mind. No way had he ever meant to compliment Seifer, especially in a time like this with everything that happened between them. Zell still feared somewhere that the old, cruel Seifer would come lashing out at him and perhaps finish the job he started out upon. The conversation stalled after that but Seifer instinctively started it up again, like he knew that Zell had made a mistake.
"You don't know the half of me," he joked with dark humor.
"Hm, yeah. I suppose that's what I get, eh?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
Zell sighed. "So...what about Ty? You said that he was killed?"
"...Yeah. He was murdered by two of his clients."
"...Clients? Was he a lawyer or something?"
Seifer shook his head. "Not quite, Zell. He was involved in the oldest profession in the world."
"The oldest...profession? What is..." After a few moments, Zell put it together and responded. "Oh, you don't mean..."
"Yep. He was a prostitute."
Zell looked away, unable to find anything to say to comfort Seifer. But again, the saddened man sensed another tense moment coming and averted it.
"Ya don't have to say anything."
"Y-Yeah, but~~"
"It's fine," he reiterated. "Besides, there's nothing I can do now. The past is long buried in the layers of time...there's nothing I can do."
"..."
"So anyway," he continued. "Five months ago, I secretly went down to Balamb to see him. I knew where he lived, and he wasn't expecting me, so I didn't think it mattered. Anyway, I got to his shack, which happened to be in the seedy part of Balamb. I went inside of the apartment building, went to his door and knocked. The door wasn't even closed- -it was partially ajar."
"Oh...my goodness."
"Yeah, that's what I said," Seifer commented. "Anyway, I went in, and...I..." He was beginning to choke up.
"...Seifer?"
"...Oh...God, it was....so horrible. All I found was his...his dead body propped up in a closet..." Seifer began to rub his face in sheer anguish, the tears being pressed into his face. "God, there was...blood everywhere..."
"Oh fuck...that...oh man, Seifer..."
"...They attacked me. They were...lying in wait, one under the bed and one in the bathroom...waiting for someone to come and discover the body...and they stabbed me. But I killed them."
Now Zell was piecing it together. The stab wound that Dr. Kadowaki had to treat and Seifer's admission that he was gay to her...it was all in reaction to the death of his only lover, Ty. Now it was all making sense to him. He wasn't going to tell Seifer that the kind doctor told him, but he wanted to know more.
"How did you get back to the Garden," Zell asked him. "If you were stabbed in the abdomen, then it...oh shit."
Seifer looked up at him, staring in disbelief. Zell's mouth had gotten the better of him again, and after he swore he'd keep it secret, too.
"I never told you I was stabbed in the abdomen."
"Damnit...Seifer, I am so sorry..."
"..."
"Fuck...listen, Dr. Kadowaki told me. That's why it makes sense to me now."
"I'm not mad. Actually, it makes things easier."
"What? Really?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh...wow! I thought you were gonna beat me up...or...something......hmm, not the right words again, huh?"
Seifer could only grin and shake his head a little as he continued. "Yep, that stab wound to the abdomen is what happened. I got a ride back to the Garden from someone in town. If he hadn't have picked me up, I'd probably be dead right now."
"...Aah..."
Seifer stared into Zell's eyes for what seemed like forever, and Zell was powerless to pull away. For some odd reason that he couldn't explain, the master of the gunblade felt connected to him now. Even through their trials and ordeals, he felt closer to Zell than anyone he had ever felt closer to in his life...with the exception of Ty.
"Thanks, man," Seifer said, honesty showing in his voice. "I feel a little better just telling someone about life. Even if you don't care, I'm just happy someone took the time out to listen."
"...Umm, yeah. Well, any...time, I guess..." Zell's voice trailed off, while he never tore his gaze away from Seifer's. There was something beyond explanation happening between these two men, but Zell wasn't afraid of whatever it was. He knew now that Seifer wouldn't hurt him anymore...in fact he would probably be nicer to him than ever before. The moment ending all of a sudden, Seifer nodded approvingly and got up to head to his dorm room. But before he left, he turned back around and said something to Zell that made the fighter wonder.
"I feel great. This grief, this torture...it's lifting. Maybe I can find someone to love again."
With that, he gave Zell a friendly wink and left. Zell, dumbfounded at Seifer's apparent and miraculous personality change, was left wondering if what he just said could have a possible hidden meaning.