Revolver And Friend: Blue Moon On Balamb Garden
Six days from that day, when Seifer had practically revealed his entire being to Zell, it still amazed the martial artist. Who would've known that Seifer had such a past filled with tumult, anguish and grief; a past that shook him to the point of emptiness?
Seifer. The bully of Balamb. Zell never fathomed that he could feel emotion.
Yes, that emotion. A man so devoid of feeling towards his fellow humanity that he regularly beat up innocent students was capable of feeling 'that' emotion. It is true that every person has a side of themselves that needs to be restrained; that must be imprisoned within their hearts so that no one may see it and shudder. 'Hatred' must be concealed for everyone's sake, or it could have disastrous results. But it was the complete opposite with Seifer Almasy. Instead of keeping negative feelings bottled up, it was the 'love' that was being bottled up instead of that. What happened in the past with his lover Ty set this horrible chain reaction within the sword master in effect. Seifer detached, and he felt everyone should know the same pain he felt in his heart.
But six days ago all of that changed. It was as if the man's heart was unlocked and all of the emotions came flowing out. Zell detected an immediate change in his behavior over the rest of the week, and it was all for the better. Not only was Seifer nice to him, but he also went out of his way to be somewhat kind to Squall--who still hated his guts--by sitting him down and explaining why he did what he did on 'that' day. It didn't work out too well, but Zell admitted it was a start to a better understanding.
~~~
Zell lay up in Squall's dorm room in his bed, not being able to sleep after seducing Squall for the first time. Squall was wrapped in sheets and nestled into his muscular chest, his leg draped over Zell and breathing softly as he slept after their first lovemaking session in their relationship. The lime-green drapes fluttered in midair, letting a cool gust of early morning air into the small room. A soft hue of moonlight engulfed the surroundings, drenching the room and the two students in a soft blue light.
As the blonde lie there, looking up at the ceiling and holding his new lover, he pondered his life before he ever became involved with him. A week ago, Zell barely even knew the man. All he could ever do was watch him from afar in the cafeteria or the library or in one of the classes they had together, and wish that Squall would notice him. All of the attempts at getting near him previously failed, and it left him slightly worried that maybe Squall knew and that he didn't like him. The sword-wielding youth was known for his aloofness and sour attitude towards others, and comparisons to Seifer were regularly made by others who were burned in their advances to get to know him. But Zell knew that it wasn't anything like that. It took him a while to muster up the courage to just come out and talk to him, but it paid off in the long run. Now they were together, and nothing would ever separate them as long as they lived…at least he hoped that nothing would. Zell gazed down at Squall while he slept, just enjoying the tender silent moment in its entirety.
"Damn," he thought. "Guy's sleeping like a log. I wish I could sleep like him." Zell shifted his glance over to the desk where a small alarm clock sat. "3:32? It'll be time to get up in about an hour and a half."
Just then, he felt some movement beside him. Zell looked over to see Squall looking sleepily up at him.
"Uh, sorry man," Zell said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
Squall let out a monstrous yawn. "Aah…yeah. It's fine. I was ::yawn!:: gonna get up anyway."
"You don't have to, you know. You could sleep a little more if you want."
"No…I'm up now. I can't fall back asleep that easily, so it's no use to worry."
"Oh, fine."
Squall wrapped his arm around Zell's chest and squeezed a little. "'Oh, fine'? Gee, you know how to make a guy feel wanted!"
Zell laughed a little. "Sorry, sorry. I just know how you love your beauty sleep."
"It's not beauty sleep. I was just tired from last night, that's all. I didn't think that it would be that tiring to have sex."
"Exhausted, you," Zell asked jokingly. "You were the one who wore ME out! I know you were a virgin, but I could've swore you've done this some other time, heh-heh!"
Squall sat up, picked up his pillow and swung it at Zell, hitting him gently in the head. "Oh, shut up!"
"Heh-heh-heh! It's true, it's true!"
"Yeah, you wish."
Squall collapsed back down onto the bed. Propping his head up against his hand, the gunblade master came out and asked him a question from out of the blue.
"You know, this is probably a bad time, but I never got to ask you about it."
Zell glanced back over to Squall in interest. "Eh? About what?"
"Hmm, I know you had a girlfriend a little before you got with me."
He, of course, was talking about Zell's former girlfriend Samantha, an incredibly beautiful girl that Zell knew for about a year before they got together. But playing coy, the fighter asked him who he was talking about anyway. He masterfully put on a face of surprise and countered.
"What?! I never had a girlfriend!"
"Yeah you did! I saw you with her all the time! It was around 6 months ago that I saw you hanging around with her!"
"Oh, is that so? Well Mister, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about!"
"You liar! She transferred out of Balamb to attend Trabia a little while ago!"
Zell cut the joking aside and decided that the game was up. Coming clean, he confessed to having her as a previous girlfriend.
"Okay, okay…you're right. Yeah, Sam was a girlfriend of mine."
"Hmm, interesting," Squall said. "Did you like her? I mean, were you in love with her?"
"Yeah, I guess so. She was pretty nice to me and stuff…she was also beautiful too. I never thought I could get with someone like Sam, but it happened."
"I never knew you loved women," Squall said.
"Well, I don't," Zell continued. "At least not now. But back then I thought I loved women. You know how it is…when you're gay, you have to be sure about it. I actually thought I was bisexual for a while, but that didn't work for me."
"I understand. That can only mean you slept with her?"
Zell looked strangely at Squall. "Why are you asking me these questions all of a sudden?"
"Well," the one with dark hair replied, inching from out of the sheets. Zell looked at him to see that he was wearing some of his clothing.
"And you're wearing my favorite black T-shirt too!"
"I was cold, so I needed something to put on," Squall said matter-of-factly.
"You know you're bigger than me. I'll have to buy a new shirt because you're stretching it out."
"Oh, I'm quite aware of that. Let me make it a mission to stretch out all of your clothes so that you have to spend insane amounts of money to replace them all."
Zell picked up his pillow and hit Squall over the head gently with it, countering the hit he got earlier. "That's pretty mean!"
"It is, it is…"
"Yeah, it is."
Zell sat in bed silent while Squall stared him in the eye.
"What's that look for," the blonde asked.
"Oh…nothing."
"Yeah, right! 'Nothing' my ass!"
"Mmm, speaking of your ass," Squall quipped almost in a reflex. "I ought to return the favor sometime. Where were you before a week ago, huh?"
"Ha-ha, you're pretty funny," Zell said with fake sarcasm.
"Hmm, so you say. But really though…it's strange."
"Mmm? How is it strange?"
"I lost my virginity to you, Zell. I can't look at you the same anymore. I mean, not that it's a bad thing, but I feel sort of different now that I've had sex with you." Squall inquired some more into Zell's feelings. "You feel different too, right?"
He cocked an eyebrow and scratched his head. "Well, umm…yeah, I guess. A little. Sex is pretty personal, if you decide to do it."
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's gotten really personal between you and I right now. I feel slightly obligated to you now."
"I think I understand you…"
"Yeah," Squall said. "We've only been together for about a week, but I've never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. It may sound somewhat funny, but I don't think I've ever felt love before I met you."
"Oh," Zell said, shocked. "Well, I…I guess that's natural. I feel obligated to you too."
"It's gone to a whole new level with us. That's why I wanted to know about her. I knew you loved her, but I just needed to know if you…'loved' her.
"…" He knew automatically what Squall meant. He wasn't like him before they had sex.
"I know, Zell. I can see it in your eyes. It's fine if you weren't a virgin too--it was foolish of me to even think something like that could even be true." Squall put a hand on his lover's shoulder and comforted him. "I'm sorry--maybe I shouldn't have even brought it up."
"No, it's fine," he reassured him. "We're a couple now, and we shouldn't keep secrets from each other if we're a couple."
"A…couple," Squall said, like he never heard the word before.
"Yes. Well, that's if you think this isn't moving too fast. If you think we should slow down a little, I wouldn't mind if we did. The last thing I want to do is to make you do anything you really don't feel like doing in the first place."
"Oh, no," Squall said, shaking his head. "I didn't mean it like that. I think the relationship is moving along at a perfect pace. I wouldn't want it to be any other way than how it is right now. I'm just getting used to that word, is all."
"Heh, does it sound so strange, hm?"
"To tell you the truth," Squall said, looking out the one window in the dorm. "It does. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would ever fall in love."
"Me too," Zell said. "Love is a strange emotion, though. It's strong, but at the same time it can be easily broken into pieces. So it isn't as strong as you would like it to be once you think about it."
"Hmm," Squall sighed.
A long silence ensued after that. Squall and Zell sat in bed, staring out of the window that sat over the desk and into the bright full moon that loomed overhead in the dark and starry skies. The blue moonlight seemed to reach everywhere--the trees, the grass…everything was covered in moonlight. It seemed so poignant right now that neither of the men knew where the relationship was going and where they would be in the future. Everything seemed more and more uncertain the more they thought. Squall wished that they could be together forever and live a nice, quiet life somewhere away from everyone else. He was all that he ever needed in life, and in the bottom of his heart, he knew that Zell was all he ever wanted in life as well. The silence was broken eventually again by Squall.
"Hey," he asked him, looking over at the blonde. "Do you ever think that…"
"Zell looked into his eyes. "Think about what?"
"Oh, about…things. About how things will be in the future."
"Oh, the future."
"Yes. I know we're young and all, but I find myself thinking more and more about the future nowadays."
"What do you think about," Zell asked him. "I think about some things too."
Squall sighed in sheer nervousness. "You know, typical things. Whether or not I'll ever hurt your feelings and such. I really want to avoid that, because I love you so much."
"I know you wouldn't ever hurt me, Squall. I don't need to worry about that ever happening to me."
"Yes, but what if I did…accidentally? Do you think that you could ever forgive me if I did?"
Zell didn't know where this conversation was heading. The uncharted territory of Squall's feelings made him worry slightly about what he was trying to say to him. "Why would you think you would ever do anything to hurt me?"
"I don't know…I don't know. Maybe…"
"…?"
"It's tough to say. Since you're the only one I've ever loved, it would be natural for me to make sure that I never did anything that you didn't like. It's the future that scares me, not my emotions."
"The future…?"
"Yes." Squall looked away, back to the view of the moon in the sky. "This mission we have today at Dollet…I have never been one to admit my emotions, but I will admit it now. I'm scared about the future. There's no telling what could happen out there. Anything could happen--one of us could even die out on the battlefield today."
Zell jumped into the conversation with haste. "Don't say that, Squall! Come on, just don't think like that!"
"See, that is what I am talking about!"
"Come on, Squall," Zell urged. "No one's gonna die out there! Not you, not me…no one!"
"How do you know? Life is so uncertain. One day someone you care about is there and the next day they could be gone forever. I'm not even worried about anyone else…I'm not even worried about myself. But I am worried about you."
"…Squall…"
"Damn, this is one of my biggest problems," he continued on sadly. "Once I start to think, it spirals out of control and I can't do anything to stop it. And I usually end up with a bad outcome to my thoughts. If it were just another face of a SeeD candidate dying out on the battlefield, I wouldn't give a damn. If it were someone I didn't care about or know, I wouldn't look back at it. Hell, if it were someone like Seifer…"
"…"
"…If it were someone like Seifer, I sure as hell wouldn't care about it."
"I know, Squall. He's hurt a lot of people in a lot of places. But I'm sure he has his own pain too. No one can be completely evil, right?"
"…I guess."
"See? Just put those thoughts right out of your head! If you think positive, things'll work out in the long run!"
"…Really?"
"Yeah! I'm not down because of what he did to me. I'm still my same cheerful, obnoxious self!" Zell flashed his trademark cheesy smile at Squall, whick made him in turn grin a little too. "See? I told you!"
"You know I can't resist that smile. I shouldn't have even told you how crazy it is."
"Well, that's too bad! Plan on seeing a lot of it from now on!"
"Yeah…I will. I'm sorry Zell. Like I said, I think entirely too much."
"Don't then."
"Okay, I understand. I won't think as long as I'm with you."
"…"
"What," Squall asked. "What did I say?"
Zell sighed. "Gee, for some reason, you didn't make that sound too flattering."
"Squall again reached over and hit him with his pillow. "Jerk!"
"Ha-ha-ha, you know you love me!"
"Yeah, I do. I love hitting you with pillows so much."
"Keep it up buddy…keep it up."
Zell laughed and looked back over at the clock. Seeing that it was now 3:55 in the morning, he got ready to hop out of bed. Squall, however, grabbed a hold of his arm and stopped him before he could make it out.
"Oh, and where do you think you're going, young man?"
Zell slipped his arm from Squall's grasp and gingerly walked over to the bathroom, where he took a towel from a hanging rail near the doorway. Then, while grinning, he walked over to the door leading to the halls. Turning around, he addressed his mate's inquiry in a cool and calculated tone. "I'm going to the showers."
Squall looked at him curiously. "The showers? Isn't that a little…too…"
Zell, still grinning, cleared his throat and reiterated his stance. "Ahem! I'm going to the showers. I feel so…dirty."
Squall couldn't help but laugh aloud at this. "Oh, really? Dirty, eh?"
"Yes," he replied. "Dirty."
Squall got up, walked over to the bathroom and grabbed himself a towel from the rack. "I feel a little dirty too. I think I need to bathe as well."
"Oh yes…you need to as well," Zell said. "I want to bathe thoroughly, so I think I'll be 'locking' the door to my shower. Isn't that a great idea, eh?"
"Yes, I think I'll 'lock' the door to my shower too. I need some privacy, like I'm sure you do too."
"Well then! I am going to shower. If anybody objects, let them show it with…a physical gesture."
With that, Zell exited the room and headed down the hall to the men's shower. Squall was left alone, giddy with excitement at what was going to take place. Looking out the window one last time, he made his thoughts perfectly clear…somewhat.
"It is unanimous," he said to no one in particular. "We all object." He left the room in a hurry to catch up with Zell in order not to miss his 'shower'.
~~~~~~~~~~
Quistis and Xu stood waiting in the Garden Lobby for the chosen SeeD candidates to arrive. Instructor Trepe stood with her arms crossed, looking as if she were a little nervous about the entire thing. Xu paid no attention and stared into the fountain, looking at the tropical fish swimming along inside. The silence was interrupted by two sets of footsteps approaching from behind. Quistis turned around to see a beaming Squall Leonhart and an equally happy Zell Dincht coming towards her, fully dressed in light-blue SeeD trainee attire for the upcoming trial.
"Wow…Squall," The tall, leggy teacher exclaimed. "And Zell! You two are absolutely glowing today! You must be really looking forward to your mission at Dollet!"
Both men looked at each other simultaneously and then back at her. They replied in unison with a hearty 'no' and took their positions near the entrance of the Lobby, taking along with them their own little inside joke. Quistis was unaware of why they were so happy, so she just continued on.
"Well, we have to wait for the Headmaster to arrive, so just hold your horses. He should be here any minute."
Almost as if on cue, the Lobby elevator doors opened, presenting the man in point. The Headmaster of Balamb Garden, Cid Kramer, came out of the elevator and came down the steps.
"Oh, here they are," Cid said. "Here are my SeeD candidates! Today will be a good day for all of you, I assure you!"
Xu greeted the Headmaster with a small stack of papers and a smile. Cid took them and read aloud from the first sheet to Squall and Zell. Both Quistis and Xu stood at Cid's sides, letting him start the briefing.
"Today," he said. "You will be deployed on a mission to aid Dollet in the battle against the forces of the Galbadia Republic. Your mission on your arrival is to subdue the remaining grunts that lay on the outskirts of the city, make your way into the inner workings of Dollet and~~"
Xu interrupted Cid, whispering into his ear. After a few short seconds, he nodded and retracted his statement about the mission. "Ahem, it…it seems that I have erred in the paperwork. You will be briefed further on the mission once you gain access to a charter vessel in Balamb City. That is all. Cid turned his back and began to chat it up with the two ladies at his sides, ignoring the two men in front of him.
"What," Zell whispered to Squall. "What does he mean 'we'll be briefed further on the boat'? I thought he was gonna tell us everything we needed to know right now!"
"Yes, it is strange," Squall replied. "I don't want any surprises, so why won't he say anything to us?"
"Beats the hell out of me!"
"Hmm…"
Footsteps could be heard coming from behind the two. Both Squall and Zell turned around to see three figures approaching from outside, coming into the Garden Lobby. As they neared, it was quickly known that these figures were none other then Fujin, Raijin and Seifer Almasy. Squall looked away, while Zell could do nothing but watch the man in the middle come closer to his point of being. Cid and the others heard them coming and greeted them.
"Oh, here we are," Cid said enthusiastically. "Ahem! SeeD candidates, your partner for the mission has arrived. Squall Leonhart and Zell Dincht, I would like you to meet Seifer Almasy. He has undertaken many of these missions without…err…success, but he should be a worthwhile squad leader." Cid waited until Seifer got in line with the others, then continued. "Seifer, please. Introduce yourself."
Turning to both of them, the tall Hyperion wielder offered a dull 'hi', then turned around to his friends behind them. Squall and Zell couldn't believe what they had just heard--the man they had as an enemy was to be their squad leader for the mission that would make or break their careers as SeeD mercenaries. This truly may be a long, testing day for all three of them.
Six days from that day, when Seifer had practically revealed his entire being to Zell, it still amazed the martial artist. Who would've known that Seifer had such a past filled with tumult, anguish and grief; a past that shook him to the point of emptiness?
Seifer. The bully of Balamb. Zell never fathomed that he could feel emotion.
Yes, that emotion. A man so devoid of feeling towards his fellow humanity that he regularly beat up innocent students was capable of feeling 'that' emotion. It is true that every person has a side of themselves that needs to be restrained; that must be imprisoned within their hearts so that no one may see it and shudder. 'Hatred' must be concealed for everyone's sake, or it could have disastrous results. But it was the complete opposite with Seifer Almasy. Instead of keeping negative feelings bottled up, it was the 'love' that was being bottled up instead of that. What happened in the past with his lover Ty set this horrible chain reaction within the sword master in effect. Seifer detached, and he felt everyone should know the same pain he felt in his heart.
But six days ago all of that changed. It was as if the man's heart was unlocked and all of the emotions came flowing out. Zell detected an immediate change in his behavior over the rest of the week, and it was all for the better. Not only was Seifer nice to him, but he also went out of his way to be somewhat kind to Squall--who still hated his guts--by sitting him down and explaining why he did what he did on 'that' day. It didn't work out too well, but Zell admitted it was a start to a better understanding.
~~~
Zell lay up in Squall's dorm room in his bed, not being able to sleep after seducing Squall for the first time. Squall was wrapped in sheets and nestled into his muscular chest, his leg draped over Zell and breathing softly as he slept after their first lovemaking session in their relationship. The lime-green drapes fluttered in midair, letting a cool gust of early morning air into the small room. A soft hue of moonlight engulfed the surroundings, drenching the room and the two students in a soft blue light.
As the blonde lie there, looking up at the ceiling and holding his new lover, he pondered his life before he ever became involved with him. A week ago, Zell barely even knew the man. All he could ever do was watch him from afar in the cafeteria or the library or in one of the classes they had together, and wish that Squall would notice him. All of the attempts at getting near him previously failed, and it left him slightly worried that maybe Squall knew and that he didn't like him. The sword-wielding youth was known for his aloofness and sour attitude towards others, and comparisons to Seifer were regularly made by others who were burned in their advances to get to know him. But Zell knew that it wasn't anything like that. It took him a while to muster up the courage to just come out and talk to him, but it paid off in the long run. Now they were together, and nothing would ever separate them as long as they lived…at least he hoped that nothing would. Zell gazed down at Squall while he slept, just enjoying the tender silent moment in its entirety.
"Damn," he thought. "Guy's sleeping like a log. I wish I could sleep like him." Zell shifted his glance over to the desk where a small alarm clock sat. "3:32? It'll be time to get up in about an hour and a half."
Just then, he felt some movement beside him. Zell looked over to see Squall looking sleepily up at him.
"Uh, sorry man," Zell said softly. "I didn't mean to wake you up."
Squall let out a monstrous yawn. "Aah…yeah. It's fine. I was ::yawn!:: gonna get up anyway."
"You don't have to, you know. You could sleep a little more if you want."
"No…I'm up now. I can't fall back asleep that easily, so it's no use to worry."
"Oh, fine."
Squall wrapped his arm around Zell's chest and squeezed a little. "'Oh, fine'? Gee, you know how to make a guy feel wanted!"
Zell laughed a little. "Sorry, sorry. I just know how you love your beauty sleep."
"It's not beauty sleep. I was just tired from last night, that's all. I didn't think that it would be that tiring to have sex."
"Exhausted, you," Zell asked jokingly. "You were the one who wore ME out! I know you were a virgin, but I could've swore you've done this some other time, heh-heh!"
Squall sat up, picked up his pillow and swung it at Zell, hitting him gently in the head. "Oh, shut up!"
"Heh-heh-heh! It's true, it's true!"
"Yeah, you wish."
Squall collapsed back down onto the bed. Propping his head up against his hand, the gunblade master came out and asked him a question from out of the blue.
"You know, this is probably a bad time, but I never got to ask you about it."
Zell glanced back over to Squall in interest. "Eh? About what?"
"Hmm, I know you had a girlfriend a little before you got with me."
He, of course, was talking about Zell's former girlfriend Samantha, an incredibly beautiful girl that Zell knew for about a year before they got together. But playing coy, the fighter asked him who he was talking about anyway. He masterfully put on a face of surprise and countered.
"What?! I never had a girlfriend!"
"Yeah you did! I saw you with her all the time! It was around 6 months ago that I saw you hanging around with her!"
"Oh, is that so? Well Mister, I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about!"
"You liar! She transferred out of Balamb to attend Trabia a little while ago!"
Zell cut the joking aside and decided that the game was up. Coming clean, he confessed to having her as a previous girlfriend.
"Okay, okay…you're right. Yeah, Sam was a girlfriend of mine."
"Hmm, interesting," Squall said. "Did you like her? I mean, were you in love with her?"
"Yeah, I guess so. She was pretty nice to me and stuff…she was also beautiful too. I never thought I could get with someone like Sam, but it happened."
"I never knew you loved women," Squall said.
"Well, I don't," Zell continued. "At least not now. But back then I thought I loved women. You know how it is…when you're gay, you have to be sure about it. I actually thought I was bisexual for a while, but that didn't work for me."
"I understand. That can only mean you slept with her?"
Zell looked strangely at Squall. "Why are you asking me these questions all of a sudden?"
"Well," the one with dark hair replied, inching from out of the sheets. Zell looked at him to see that he was wearing some of his clothing.
"And you're wearing my favorite black T-shirt too!"
"I was cold, so I needed something to put on," Squall said matter-of-factly.
"You know you're bigger than me. I'll have to buy a new shirt because you're stretching it out."
"Oh, I'm quite aware of that. Let me make it a mission to stretch out all of your clothes so that you have to spend insane amounts of money to replace them all."
Zell picked up his pillow and hit Squall over the head gently with it, countering the hit he got earlier. "That's pretty mean!"
"It is, it is…"
"Yeah, it is."
Zell sat in bed silent while Squall stared him in the eye.
"What's that look for," the blonde asked.
"Oh…nothing."
"Yeah, right! 'Nothing' my ass!"
"Mmm, speaking of your ass," Squall quipped almost in a reflex. "I ought to return the favor sometime. Where were you before a week ago, huh?"
"Ha-ha, you're pretty funny," Zell said with fake sarcasm.
"Hmm, so you say. But really though…it's strange."
"Mmm? How is it strange?"
"I lost my virginity to you, Zell. I can't look at you the same anymore. I mean, not that it's a bad thing, but I feel sort of different now that I've had sex with you." Squall inquired some more into Zell's feelings. "You feel different too, right?"
He cocked an eyebrow and scratched his head. "Well, umm…yeah, I guess. A little. Sex is pretty personal, if you decide to do it."
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's gotten really personal between you and I right now. I feel slightly obligated to you now."
"I think I understand you…"
"Yeah," Squall said. "We've only been together for about a week, but I've never felt this way about anyone in my entire life. It may sound somewhat funny, but I don't think I've ever felt love before I met you."
"Oh," Zell said, shocked. "Well, I…I guess that's natural. I feel obligated to you too."
"It's gone to a whole new level with us. That's why I wanted to know about her. I knew you loved her, but I just needed to know if you…'loved' her.
"…" He knew automatically what Squall meant. He wasn't like him before they had sex.
"I know, Zell. I can see it in your eyes. It's fine if you weren't a virgin too--it was foolish of me to even think something like that could even be true." Squall put a hand on his lover's shoulder and comforted him. "I'm sorry--maybe I shouldn't have even brought it up."
"No, it's fine," he reassured him. "We're a couple now, and we shouldn't keep secrets from each other if we're a couple."
"A…couple," Squall said, like he never heard the word before.
"Yes. Well, that's if you think this isn't moving too fast. If you think we should slow down a little, I wouldn't mind if we did. The last thing I want to do is to make you do anything you really don't feel like doing in the first place."
"Oh, no," Squall said, shaking his head. "I didn't mean it like that. I think the relationship is moving along at a perfect pace. I wouldn't want it to be any other way than how it is right now. I'm just getting used to that word, is all."
"Heh, does it sound so strange, hm?"
"To tell you the truth," Squall said, looking out the one window in the dorm. "It does. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would ever fall in love."
"Me too," Zell said. "Love is a strange emotion, though. It's strong, but at the same time it can be easily broken into pieces. So it isn't as strong as you would like it to be once you think about it."
"Hmm," Squall sighed.
A long silence ensued after that. Squall and Zell sat in bed, staring out of the window that sat over the desk and into the bright full moon that loomed overhead in the dark and starry skies. The blue moonlight seemed to reach everywhere--the trees, the grass…everything was covered in moonlight. It seemed so poignant right now that neither of the men knew where the relationship was going and where they would be in the future. Everything seemed more and more uncertain the more they thought. Squall wished that they could be together forever and live a nice, quiet life somewhere away from everyone else. He was all that he ever needed in life, and in the bottom of his heart, he knew that Zell was all he ever wanted in life as well. The silence was broken eventually again by Squall.
"Hey," he asked him, looking over at the blonde. "Do you ever think that…"
"Zell looked into his eyes. "Think about what?"
"Oh, about…things. About how things will be in the future."
"Oh, the future."
"Yes. I know we're young and all, but I find myself thinking more and more about the future nowadays."
"What do you think about," Zell asked him. "I think about some things too."
Squall sighed in sheer nervousness. "You know, typical things. Whether or not I'll ever hurt your feelings and such. I really want to avoid that, because I love you so much."
"I know you wouldn't ever hurt me, Squall. I don't need to worry about that ever happening to me."
"Yes, but what if I did…accidentally? Do you think that you could ever forgive me if I did?"
Zell didn't know where this conversation was heading. The uncharted territory of Squall's feelings made him worry slightly about what he was trying to say to him. "Why would you think you would ever do anything to hurt me?"
"I don't know…I don't know. Maybe…"
"…?"
"It's tough to say. Since you're the only one I've ever loved, it would be natural for me to make sure that I never did anything that you didn't like. It's the future that scares me, not my emotions."
"The future…?"
"Yes." Squall looked away, back to the view of the moon in the sky. "This mission we have today at Dollet…I have never been one to admit my emotions, but I will admit it now. I'm scared about the future. There's no telling what could happen out there. Anything could happen--one of us could even die out on the battlefield today."
Zell jumped into the conversation with haste. "Don't say that, Squall! Come on, just don't think like that!"
"See, that is what I am talking about!"
"Come on, Squall," Zell urged. "No one's gonna die out there! Not you, not me…no one!"
"How do you know? Life is so uncertain. One day someone you care about is there and the next day they could be gone forever. I'm not even worried about anyone else…I'm not even worried about myself. But I am worried about you."
"…Squall…"
"Damn, this is one of my biggest problems," he continued on sadly. "Once I start to think, it spirals out of control and I can't do anything to stop it. And I usually end up with a bad outcome to my thoughts. If it were just another face of a SeeD candidate dying out on the battlefield, I wouldn't give a damn. If it were someone I didn't care about or know, I wouldn't look back at it. Hell, if it were someone like Seifer…"
"…"
"…If it were someone like Seifer, I sure as hell wouldn't care about it."
"I know, Squall. He's hurt a lot of people in a lot of places. But I'm sure he has his own pain too. No one can be completely evil, right?"
"…I guess."
"See? Just put those thoughts right out of your head! If you think positive, things'll work out in the long run!"
"…Really?"
"Yeah! I'm not down because of what he did to me. I'm still my same cheerful, obnoxious self!" Zell flashed his trademark cheesy smile at Squall, whick made him in turn grin a little too. "See? I told you!"
"You know I can't resist that smile. I shouldn't have even told you how crazy it is."
"Well, that's too bad! Plan on seeing a lot of it from now on!"
"Yeah…I will. I'm sorry Zell. Like I said, I think entirely too much."
"Don't then."
"Okay, I understand. I won't think as long as I'm with you."
"…"
"What," Squall asked. "What did I say?"
Zell sighed. "Gee, for some reason, you didn't make that sound too flattering."
"Squall again reached over and hit him with his pillow. "Jerk!"
"Ha-ha-ha, you know you love me!"
"Yeah, I do. I love hitting you with pillows so much."
"Keep it up buddy…keep it up."
Zell laughed and looked back over at the clock. Seeing that it was now 3:55 in the morning, he got ready to hop out of bed. Squall, however, grabbed a hold of his arm and stopped him before he could make it out.
"Oh, and where do you think you're going, young man?"
Zell slipped his arm from Squall's grasp and gingerly walked over to the bathroom, where he took a towel from a hanging rail near the doorway. Then, while grinning, he walked over to the door leading to the halls. Turning around, he addressed his mate's inquiry in a cool and calculated tone. "I'm going to the showers."
Squall looked at him curiously. "The showers? Isn't that a little…too…"
Zell, still grinning, cleared his throat and reiterated his stance. "Ahem! I'm going to the showers. I feel so…dirty."
Squall couldn't help but laugh aloud at this. "Oh, really? Dirty, eh?"
"Yes," he replied. "Dirty."
Squall got up, walked over to the bathroom and grabbed himself a towel from the rack. "I feel a little dirty too. I think I need to bathe as well."
"Oh yes…you need to as well," Zell said. "I want to bathe thoroughly, so I think I'll be 'locking' the door to my shower. Isn't that a great idea, eh?"
"Yes, I think I'll 'lock' the door to my shower too. I need some privacy, like I'm sure you do too."
"Well then! I am going to shower. If anybody objects, let them show it with…a physical gesture."
With that, Zell exited the room and headed down the hall to the men's shower. Squall was left alone, giddy with excitement at what was going to take place. Looking out the window one last time, he made his thoughts perfectly clear…somewhat.
"It is unanimous," he said to no one in particular. "We all object." He left the room in a hurry to catch up with Zell in order not to miss his 'shower'.
~~~~~~~~~~
Quistis and Xu stood waiting in the Garden Lobby for the chosen SeeD candidates to arrive. Instructor Trepe stood with her arms crossed, looking as if she were a little nervous about the entire thing. Xu paid no attention and stared into the fountain, looking at the tropical fish swimming along inside. The silence was interrupted by two sets of footsteps approaching from behind. Quistis turned around to see a beaming Squall Leonhart and an equally happy Zell Dincht coming towards her, fully dressed in light-blue SeeD trainee attire for the upcoming trial.
"Wow…Squall," The tall, leggy teacher exclaimed. "And Zell! You two are absolutely glowing today! You must be really looking forward to your mission at Dollet!"
Both men looked at each other simultaneously and then back at her. They replied in unison with a hearty 'no' and took their positions near the entrance of the Lobby, taking along with them their own little inside joke. Quistis was unaware of why they were so happy, so she just continued on.
"Well, we have to wait for the Headmaster to arrive, so just hold your horses. He should be here any minute."
Almost as if on cue, the Lobby elevator doors opened, presenting the man in point. The Headmaster of Balamb Garden, Cid Kramer, came out of the elevator and came down the steps.
"Oh, here they are," Cid said. "Here are my SeeD candidates! Today will be a good day for all of you, I assure you!"
Xu greeted the Headmaster with a small stack of papers and a smile. Cid took them and read aloud from the first sheet to Squall and Zell. Both Quistis and Xu stood at Cid's sides, letting him start the briefing.
"Today," he said. "You will be deployed on a mission to aid Dollet in the battle against the forces of the Galbadia Republic. Your mission on your arrival is to subdue the remaining grunts that lay on the outskirts of the city, make your way into the inner workings of Dollet and~~"
Xu interrupted Cid, whispering into his ear. After a few short seconds, he nodded and retracted his statement about the mission. "Ahem, it…it seems that I have erred in the paperwork. You will be briefed further on the mission once you gain access to a charter vessel in Balamb City. That is all. Cid turned his back and began to chat it up with the two ladies at his sides, ignoring the two men in front of him.
"What," Zell whispered to Squall. "What does he mean 'we'll be briefed further on the boat'? I thought he was gonna tell us everything we needed to know right now!"
"Yes, it is strange," Squall replied. "I don't want any surprises, so why won't he say anything to us?"
"Beats the hell out of me!"
"Hmm…"
Footsteps could be heard coming from behind the two. Both Squall and Zell turned around to see three figures approaching from outside, coming into the Garden Lobby. As they neared, it was quickly known that these figures were none other then Fujin, Raijin and Seifer Almasy. Squall looked away, while Zell could do nothing but watch the man in the middle come closer to his point of being. Cid and the others heard them coming and greeted them.
"Oh, here we are," Cid said enthusiastically. "Ahem! SeeD candidates, your partner for the mission has arrived. Squall Leonhart and Zell Dincht, I would like you to meet Seifer Almasy. He has undertaken many of these missions without…err…success, but he should be a worthwhile squad leader." Cid waited until Seifer got in line with the others, then continued. "Seifer, please. Introduce yourself."
Turning to both of them, the tall Hyperion wielder offered a dull 'hi', then turned around to his friends behind them. Squall and Zell couldn't believe what they had just heard--the man they had as an enemy was to be their squad leader for the mission that would make or break their careers as SeeD mercenaries. This truly may be a long, testing day for all three of them.