Revolver And Friend: End Of Solace
A light tapping could be heard behind Squall's locked dorm room sliding doors. It was most likely Zell he thought, as he stood in the bathroom and ran some hair gel through his hair while brushing his teeth at the same time. After a few seconds, the tapping turned into an outright banging.
"Hey, Squall!" a familiar voice yelled out. "Get your ass over here and unlock this door right now!"
"Yeah yeah," he countered under his breath, spitting foam into the sink. "Coming."
Walking out of the bathroom, Squall hit a red button on a panel beside the sliding doors, which automatically allowed them to open. Zell walked right in while his boyfriend snatched his SeeD uniform top off of the back of his chair at his desk. Needless to say, the blonde wasn't too enthused by his greeting--or lack thereof.
"Nice. Real nice," Zell said sardonically; Squall's back turned toward him. "I hope you won't treat me this way through the entire dance. I just may have to find a new boyfriend if you keep this up."
"Sorry, in a hurry. Say can you hand me that comb in the bathroom?" Squall asked.
"Wha…get it yourself! I'm not your maid!"
The dark-haired youth turned to him, rolling his eyes in the process. "Whatever."
"Oh brother…not that 'whatever' crap again! I thought you were trying to give that up!"
"I am. I only do it now to annoy you."
"…" Zell grit his teeth at him, giving the other boy pleasure in knowing he succeeded. Squall flashed a small grin at him and left his living room, going back into the bathroom. Zell followed right behind and talked to him while he ran a comb through his hair. It wasn't until then that he noticed how much bigger his dorm was then his.
"Damn!" Zell exclaimed. "Your dorm is bigger than mine! How in the world did that happen? I thought all SeeD dormitories were the same size!"
"Heh. It's because I did better in the Dollet exam than you did," Squall sardonically said, staring at him through the mirror. "They don't hand out these things like they're toys. You earn them. It's really just a sign of rank."
"What are you talking about…rank? I did better than you, now that you mention it! So don't say things like that!"
Squall picked up a capsule of breath spray and spritzed a little into his mouth as he turned to Zell. "I know. I lied to annoy you; it's really random selection."
"Grr…"
"Ha-ha-ha!"
"…I hate you."
"You love me," was all he said he pushed his way past Zell. "Admit it."
Now in Squall's bedroom, he shoved some textbooks and sheets around on the desk away, searching for the official pin that signified graduation to the group held up to the utmost prestige. All SeeDs needed to have it on them, or else they would automatically drop a rank on instructor or Headmaster's sight.
"Where is it…it isn't here?" Squall asked himself. "I don't want to drop a rank already!"
"Hey, over here…looking for this?"
The young man behind him had sat down on his bed, flashing a small, yet gleaming bird-shaped emblem between his fingers. "You know," Zell said slyly. "It could be big trouble if this were to…I don't know…..disappear or something. I hear all the SeeDs needs it, 'cause it shows you're a reliable warrior or something."
Squall ended up gritting his teeth at him in return, stepping over to get the pin from him. "C'mon, don't play around like this~~"
"A-ha! Gotcha now!"
In an instant, the shorter male grabbed the other's arm, heaved him onto the bed and got on top of him, pinning Squall under his small frame. His strength never ceased to amaze the brunet-haired one; that and his kind & cheerful personality was what delighted him.
"Hah-hah-hah, come on, now! The dance!" Squall said. "You want to now?"
"No…I know we have to go. But even still, it's tough to resist."
"For you, it is. Now give that to me." Squall reached for the pin, but Zell pulled it away from him once again. "You want to play games, hmm?" Squall inquired playfully.
"I have a present for you," Zell told him. "It's great. You'll be thrilled tonight."
"A present, you say? What, I don't get to see it now?"
"It'll be fine! I wanted to wait until we were alone to show it to you; it means a lot to me, and I don't want to do it in public." Zell flashed a little grin at him, almost in a mischievous manner. "Humor me?"
::sigh:: "All right, I can wait for it. Now…may I have that pin please?"
At that, Zell gave the bird emblem back to Squall, as he nonchalantly removed himself from his boyfriend's frame. Squall got up, hooked the pin onto his left breast pocket on his top and smiled. "Ready?"
"Ready," Zell said. "Let's have a great time!"
The SeeD ball. Fireworks had been ignited and let loose into the open skies in a rainbow-colored blaze of fire over the glass dome of the encased terrace, pleasing the patrons invited to celebrate this glorious event. Ivy vines grew sparsely on the walls, giving the place a bit of a natural feel. Students were drinking, laughing and living it up here; basking in the many forms of entertainment Garden had to offer. A stage covered in red trimmings has been set up at the main end of the terrace with a team of musicians performing with various stringed and woodwind instruments. Florid, enchanting music moved through the air as SeeD graduates danced the night away.
Through double doors, Squall and Zell entered the festivities, side by side. Their eyes scanned the general vicinity of the area, taking in the atmosphere of what had been offered to them as reward for graduating the military school.
"Impressive!" Zell exclaimed. "Look at everyone dancing and having fun!" Zell turned to his partner with a big smile; his hand firmly gripping his in the process. "We're dancing tonight!"
"W-Wha? Hey…" It seemed too late, as the shorter one was already dragging him out to the middle of the terrace. Squall was taken aback at the thought of baring it all on the dance floor in front of his peers. He didn't know how to dance. "We can't do this!" Squall told him. "I don't want to dance. Please, let's just go somewhere and have a seat."
"Aww, are you joking? You mean we won't dance?"
"Well, err…later, maybe?"
Zell dropped Squall's arm immediately, quite angry at this point. Through the fancy music, instruments and people swaying side to side around them, no one seemed to notice them. "C'mon! It won't be THAT bad…I'll cover for you if you do something wrong. I'll lead, and you follow, and then everything will be fine!"
"…Err…"
"What? I'll help you…eh?" Zell cocked his head an looked at him strangely, then after a few moments a wide grin appeared on his face. "…I got it. You can't dance, can you?"
"…!"
"Heh-heh-heh, you can't can you? That's why you don't want to go out there!"
"…Do you plan on rubbing this in my face all night?" Squall asked him in an embarrassed manner. "I can go back to my dorm and just skip the entire blasted thing."
"Ha, all right…all right, come on. I'll lead, and it'll be fine." Zell grabbed his hand again and started to drag him out to the dance floor. "I won't drop you or anything, so don't be afraid!"
"Umm…'drop' me? What are you going to do; throw me into the air an do some fancy stuff?"
"Heh-heh…not unless you want me to!"
"…"
And with that, the duo went out to party. One hesitant and reserved; the other busting with energy and outgoing…two completely different personalities acting as one. As the night progressed, more and more couples headed out onto the dance floor to strut their stuff in what would turn out to be the most celebrated night in the history of Balamb Garden's erection. The graduation of SeeD was not to be dismissed without reward, because all of these wonderful students put something into Garden. Conviction, strength, intelligence…all of these traits came together on this night.
Especially for one couple in particular.
The two remained out on the dance floor for quite some time, with only each other to rely on for support. It turned out that Zell himself wasn't such a great dancer after all. But with caution and a dash of perseverance, he learned quickly. Squall gently held him, leading his companion's body with his own while they both swung to and fro in tune to the masterful sounds of percussion in the air…all the while bolstering each other's resolve with softened smiles. Nothing could ruin this night, they both thought, as they danced for what was seemingly forever.
~~~
Meanwhile, more guests were arriving. The double doors opened up wide to expose them to the scene out on the terrace. Three of them to be exact; a man of brownish hue and a woman his opposite, each in fine dress…flanking their leader, who had made sure to place his trademark cocky grin on for this occasion. With a red rose tailored onto the right breast of his SeeD uniform and a special purpose burning within, the leader walked in with attitude.
"This is one HELL of a gala, ya know?!" Raijin commented gleefully, observing the environs around him. "Damn, Seifer…sort of makes me wish I was a SeeD!"
Fujin turned and lightly slapped her counterpart in the head. "RAIJIN. TRAIN, MAYBE NEXT YEAR."
"Oww, man! Hey, that hurt, ya know?! And plus, I can do anything that these SeeD guys can do…10 times better, even!"
"…" Fujin developed a puzzled look on her face. "HURT? HARDHEADED. HURT, HOW?"
"…"
"RAIJIN!" Fujin said, shaking him. "JOKE! JUST JOKE!"
"…You're not nice, ya know…damn."
"Ha-ha-ha," Seifer laughed out loud, obviously pleased with this. "She has a point, Raijin. Train a little harder, and you could easily become SeeD. It's simple, really…someone of your caliber could make it easily."
"If ya say so, oww…" Raijin moaned. "Fujin, ya hit too hard for your own good, ya know?!"
"SENSITIVE."
It was true. He couldn't very well argue with her; she had him pegged. "Yeah…so anyway Seifer. Ya think you can hook me up in a SeeD test?!"
Seifer shook his head and grinned. "Sorry man, this is something you have to do on your own. No one helped me, and I would expect the same from you when the fated time arrived. I have faith that you'd be able to pull it off though. You too, Fujin." As he talked, the musical instruments in the background came to a halt, followed by the applause of the crowd. Almost as if this were his cue, he kindly patted his friend on the shoulder and bid his goodbyes to join the rest of the party, since non-SeeDs were not allowed to attend. "I'll meet up with you guys after the party back at my dorm. Until then…"
Seifer parted company with his friends with a wave, disappearing into the dancing & mingling graduates of Garden. He regretted the fact that the ones who supported him the most in his sometimes turbulent journey to graduate from the academy could not stay to celebrate with him this joyous occasion. Raijin and Fujin were faithful allies; the kind of people, he felt, you could count on to be there when the chips were down.
True friends, to him. The only two he ever had in his life.
But in a way, now that they were gone, what he was going to do tonight would be much easier to accomplish. Aside from the few faces he barely recognized from classes pre-SeeDdom, it didn't matter. That oath he made earlier in the day was going to be fulfilled this starry night, under the banner of promise and truthfulness. He didn't care if he succeeded or not; just that he wanted his wishes to be out in the open, where the object of his affection could see. Seifer's mind had been focused on one person in the crowd, and was holding steadfast as he began his search for the one in the crowd…
~~~
"I'm shocked; you really picked up on your dance steps at the end of the song!"
Squall rubbed the back of his head in a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure, content to receive a compliment from Zell. "It was nothing, I guess…you did good too."
"Heh, not nearly as good as you did! If I knew that your competitive nature ran into dancing also, I'd push you even further!"
"Aah, yeah…well, it certainly was tough." Squall really wanted to get off of the dance floor, so he decided to pose his request gently. "Um, would it be too much if we went to sit down somewhere…? It's getting a little hot being in the middle of this tangled mesh of bodies."
Zell smiled and nodded in agreement, He, too, had something else in mind…and he planned on doing it in front of all of these people, instead of in closed quarters alone with him. Here, he thought, it would make it even more special. "I thought you'd never ask."
And so they had a seat at a nearby empty table for two, covered in white tablecloth, just off the edge of the tan-marble dance floor. Zell pulled out the ebony chair for Squall, allowing to take a seat first, then sat down at the opposite end himself. Almost immediately after they took their seats, a pretty young caterer arrived with their appetizer. She placed the basket of breadsticks on the middle of the table and pulled out a small notepad from the pocket of her slacks.
"What would you care to have tonight, sires?" the caterer asked them both.
"Eh? Sires…?" Zell asked curiously, looking up at her. "Pretty formal."
The woman giggled at him. "I'm sorry about that; it's a bad habit of mine. I just enjoy that word, 'sire'. You know how you unconsciously say things sometimes, right? Well, it's that way with me."
"Mmm, yeah," Zell understandably agreed; an obvious smirk on his face as he glanced over at Squall, who caught onto what he meant. "It's fine. So, um…what's on the menu?"
"Anything you want. We brought extra for tonight."
"I see, I see. Any hot dogs?"
Squall slapped his forehead in disbelief at what he heard just now. "Hot dogs? Here, of all places? Don't you want anything fancier?"
The blonde looked over at him and shrugged. "She DID say anything. And that's what I'm in the mood for."
"…"
"Heh, so that's how it is. So, could I get one, miss?"
The woman smiled warmly at him and nodded. "A little strange for an order…but yeah, we have hot dogs."
"I'll take two," he said quickly afterwards.
"Ha-ha-ha, all right. Hot dogs for you. And you, sire?"
"…Hm? Oh no, I'm all right. I'm not hungry."
"Well, okay. A request of two hot dogs. I'll get to work on them right away."
With that, she walked off, leaving them alone. The both of them began to talk about random things--classes, training, studies, etc.--to pas the time as they waited on Zell's order. After around ten minutes of conversation, the topic turned to what happened earlier in the day. Squall had no idea, but his mate was making a concerted effort at drawing this dialogue towards a specific path.
"I don't know why I couldn't move fast enough to save you back there…in Dollet," Zell commented with a tinge of regret in his voice. "I wasn't scared or anything, but…I don't know. I really don't have an answer why I did what I did. Or should it be what I *didn't* do."
"Why are you feeling guilty?" Squall asked him sincerely. "I should've been in better training condition. If I had been, that fall wouldn't have taken place. I'll end up spending even more time in the facility and in the field, all due to that little mishap…don't beat yourself up over it. There's no one to blame but myself."
"No…no, come on. I brought this up because what we were talking about in the morning makes it even worse. We we're talking about death and our futures and stuff…and you almost died today!"
Squall wondered what he was getting at here. "Are you trying to say that this was an omen or something? Because if that's what it is, you're wrong."
"No, that is the last thing I'm trying to say, Squall. Trust me on that."
"Then…?"
Zell lowered his head, but kept on speaking to him in the process. "::sigh:: I wasn't afraid then, but…I am now."
"…Is that so? What's wrong?"
"…"
"It's fine," Squall told him. "I'm taking this seriously too; all of this is incredibly morbid now that you've mentioned it. Yes, I can understand why you'd be thinking about me…err, us, dying someday. I know how you feel, but that doesn't mean it's anything to worry about." Squall shook his head, obviously in a bind to properly get out the correct words at this time. "I don't even know what to say to you; that's how terrible I am at these types of things."
Zell managed a little grin and attempted to support him. They were both a little uneasy right now, but they both tried their best. Also, Zell felt it necessary to cross this hurdle in order for his plan to succeed. "I love you, Squall. I really do. And that's why…"
"…" Now Squall felt like this was going into uncharted territory. With a bit of apprehension, he pursued onward though, despite the fears in his heart. "…Why what?"
It seemed like time itself, after that moment, stood still for the both of them. After this, Zell proceeded to slowly take out a tiny black box from the pocket of his slacks. He had hoped that he was doing the right thing by proceeding to offer himself in the form of a jewel he had bought earlier in the day at Balamb, but there was a constant question in his mind of whether this could this possibly ease both of their fears. Taking a large risk, he got up out of his chair, stepped over to Squall and knelt upon one knee.
"…! Oh…oh, you're not…" Squall gasped, in shock. He had feared that it was something horribly unfathomable that Zell wanted to tell him, but this…he couldn't believe what was happening. As Zell silently placed the ring on Squall's middle finger on his right hand, the brunet continued on. "Oh my goodness…you're not…"
"Squall," Zell said, looking up at him. "I know what you said earlier. About not rushing things to meet our goals and all that. And I'm not rushing anything, because I want to respect your wishes. But…I just want this relationship to mean something. I don't want to lose you to anyone or anything, Squall, so…I want you to know I'm being serious about our entire relationship." Zell smiled at him, easing his mate's fears even further. "I want to keep you near…"
Squall was absolutely speechless. His mouth agape, all that escaped were a few cut-off syllables of words of disbelief. Was he proposing to him? Was he serious?
"I…but…how could you…I can't believe this!"
Zell took the empty box, placed it in his pocket once again and stood straight up. Squall continuously eyed the ring on his finger, still in shock to say anything.
"I'll give you time to think about it," Zell told him calmly. "I know, it seems like it's a huge rush. But I don't want to lose you."
"…I can't believe this…" Squall hazily said, gazing at the ring. His heart was positively overflowing with happiness.
"Err…I have to use the restroom," Zell said all of a sudden. Squall heard him, but it didn't look like he 'heard' him. "Wait for me at your dorm room. I know you're still in shock and stuff, but I'd like to explain my feelings to you some more, in private."
Squall looked up to see Zell hastily leaving to the restroom. He had heard everything he said and understood. And he decided that he did want to speak with him some more. But the ring he just received looked great!
~~~
Zell had just exited the terrace through the double doors, eager to get out of there for a breath of fresh air. However, someone had seen him. Someone, out of all of the people who either didn't care anymore or didn't notice, watched the entire thing between the two youths at a distance. With an equally honorable purpose, at least involving his own feelings, this man followed Zell out of the dance hall.
"No more running, Seifer," he thought to himself. "I must be honest to myself…"
~~~
Zell had been gone from the hall for what seemed to be around thirty minutes, simply wandering the halls of Garden. He thought about all of the things that happened today, and especially about the proposal he offered Squall to be his eternal partner. His nervousness got the better of him, but fortunately it was after he had finished what he needed to do…otherwise he would've had to tell him eventually his secret.
Zell wasn't sure if he loved Squall.
He proposed to him solely to keep him in the relationship…to keep him near.
Of course, he wanted desperately to love him. Squall seemed strong, he knew he was smart…and in a way he thought the young man was also caring, even though he never showed his emotions to anyone. All of these qualities were what Zell looked for in a partner…how could he go wrong if the one he thought he loved fit the bill? It was still relatively fresh; they had not been together for long, yet Zell saw something in him from day one he liked.
But then…why did he feel so dirty for lying to him? Could he learn the answer to his problems with him in time and reconsolidate the relationship?
Or was it something else…?
~~~
Eventually Zell found his way to the training facility inside of Garden. The monster force fields had been activated tonight, which meant that there were no monsters wandering about. Normally, he wouldn't appreciate something like this, but Zell didn't really feel like fighting tonight.
Past winding trees and steel paths, he went…until he made it to a solitary enclosure deep within the facility. A setup where Garden students met regularly, it was a place exposed to the open skies above. Zell noticed how the stars in the sky checkered the midnight blue sky…and things like this he never noticed unless he had been engulfed in deep thought.
Zell walked over to the railing of the curved steel balcony; his black dress shoes clanging against the iron bars of the flooring. As he placed his hand son the railing, he looked up into the sky and spoke out loudly about what happened a little while ago.
"Damnit! Why'd I have to lie to him? Why can't I just tell him how I really feel…I can't string him along like he's some rag doll forever! Squall deserves better than this, but I don't know if I can give it to him! Aagh!"
"I found you," a male voice emanated from places unknown.
Zell jumped in shock at the thought of someone overhearing him. He whipped around, only to see a tall form partially obscured by darkness. The man was wearing a SeeD uniform, as the blond could tell, but the torso and the face were shrouded by darkness.
"Who is it?" Zell sternly asked. "Leave me alone. I need some time to think."
"But what's wrong with your relationship with Squall? You said you lied…?"
"No, I…" Zell was going to explain, but he concluded that revealing secrets to unknown strangers could be a mistake in this case. "Grr! Didn't you hear me? I said scram! And forget everything you heard too!" Zell stepped forward, annoyed with this pesky visitor. "Leave! Or else I'll force you to leave!"
"But I have something I need to tell you," said the voice. "One minute, please."
Zell was going to tell him off again, but the mystery man stepped forward before he could speak. This person turned out to be no one other than the person who was his rival, if not his mortal enemy…the person who inflicted upon him physical and mental scars that would never have a chance of healing. Zell's eyes drew up from the bottom of him to the chest…and finally to the face to find out who had spied on him. This was the very last person he thought he'd see in a place like this…
"Seifer…what do you want?" Zell asked him.
As he spoke, Seifer walked past him and leaned his back on the railing of the balcony. The taller one stared into his eyes as he reached his left hand into the pocket of his slacks to take out a tiny blue box.
"Hey!" Zell almost yelled at him. "What do you want from me, huh? Shouldn't you be back at the ball partying with your friends or something?"
"Shhh," was Seifer's response as he removed a ring from the box. "Please…don't move. I won't hurt you. I just want to do this for my own sake…I must be honest."
"…?" The hand-to-hand combatant eyed him curiously as this man walked over to him, took Zell's left hand into his and placed the reddish jewel on his middle finger. "Oh you have GOT to be kidding me! You…you think that I~~"
"Shhh," Seifer hissed again. Zell obeyed his wishes for reasons he couldn't quite explain; he felt a tinge of warmth beginning to rise in his body. He unconsciously began to shake mildly as Seifer let his hand go. At that point, the gunblade wielder stared softly into his eyes, almost as if to convey a feeling of contentment and gratification at being able to do this. Seifer began to quiver as well, nervous at what he was about to partake in.
"Seifer, I~~"
"Zell…I…this is tough for me. I'm practically shaking."
"…Uh…I d-don't know what to say."
"I'll speak then," Seifer replied. "I don't expect anything to come out of this. If you want, you can hit me with your fists if you'd like, just for wasting your time. Or for doing something so odd like this out of the blue. I don't have high hopes that I'll get what I want…but at least I can tell you how I feel…about you…now that I've truly found who and what I am."
"…Seifer, please don't…do this," he said, turning his head away from Seifer's gaze.
"No, I have to. I have to do this, because if I don't, it'll be one more mistake in the sky-high tower of mistakes I've already made. I can't live like a prisoner anymore…"
"Aah, I…" Zell fumbled word-wise. His eyes we're widened in anticipation, almost as if he knew what was about to take place.
"Please…let me do this," he rasped, drawing his hand to Zell's cheek to return his sight to him. "…Then you can do whatever you want from now on. I won't blame you, whatever decision you make."
Seifer began to slowly buy shakily close the gap between his face and Zell's, inch by inch. They both knew what was going to occur right now, and neither of them wanted it to stop. Under an unsaid from of communication between the both of them, the duo brought each other closer with a strong hug…their hands slowly enclosing the others' body, bringing their bodies and faces into a lock of embrace. Their inhibitions towards each other all but melted away, as the both of them lost all track of time within their passionate embrace.
~~~
Squall had come to the training facility based on information that someone saw his lover enter a while ago. He had already made it to the steel enclosure and was positively busting as he gawked at his ring repeatedly. As he turned the final corner to the meeting place, he boasted out loud about how he planned to accept Zell's proposal.
"I'll do it, Zell! I was shocked when you placed the ring on my finger, but I'll~~"
An emotional stake had just been driven through his heart, shattering it into a million pieces. A fantasy life, crushed by the sight of his fiancée in a fiery kiss and embrace under the midnight skies, killed him emotionally.
A light tapping could be heard behind Squall's locked dorm room sliding doors. It was most likely Zell he thought, as he stood in the bathroom and ran some hair gel through his hair while brushing his teeth at the same time. After a few seconds, the tapping turned into an outright banging.
"Hey, Squall!" a familiar voice yelled out. "Get your ass over here and unlock this door right now!"
"Yeah yeah," he countered under his breath, spitting foam into the sink. "Coming."
Walking out of the bathroom, Squall hit a red button on a panel beside the sliding doors, which automatically allowed them to open. Zell walked right in while his boyfriend snatched his SeeD uniform top off of the back of his chair at his desk. Needless to say, the blonde wasn't too enthused by his greeting--or lack thereof.
"Nice. Real nice," Zell said sardonically; Squall's back turned toward him. "I hope you won't treat me this way through the entire dance. I just may have to find a new boyfriend if you keep this up."
"Sorry, in a hurry. Say can you hand me that comb in the bathroom?" Squall asked.
"Wha…get it yourself! I'm not your maid!"
The dark-haired youth turned to him, rolling his eyes in the process. "Whatever."
"Oh brother…not that 'whatever' crap again! I thought you were trying to give that up!"
"I am. I only do it now to annoy you."
"…" Zell grit his teeth at him, giving the other boy pleasure in knowing he succeeded. Squall flashed a small grin at him and left his living room, going back into the bathroom. Zell followed right behind and talked to him while he ran a comb through his hair. It wasn't until then that he noticed how much bigger his dorm was then his.
"Damn!" Zell exclaimed. "Your dorm is bigger than mine! How in the world did that happen? I thought all SeeD dormitories were the same size!"
"Heh. It's because I did better in the Dollet exam than you did," Squall sardonically said, staring at him through the mirror. "They don't hand out these things like they're toys. You earn them. It's really just a sign of rank."
"What are you talking about…rank? I did better than you, now that you mention it! So don't say things like that!"
Squall picked up a capsule of breath spray and spritzed a little into his mouth as he turned to Zell. "I know. I lied to annoy you; it's really random selection."
"Grr…"
"Ha-ha-ha!"
"…I hate you."
"You love me," was all he said he pushed his way past Zell. "Admit it."
Now in Squall's bedroom, he shoved some textbooks and sheets around on the desk away, searching for the official pin that signified graduation to the group held up to the utmost prestige. All SeeDs needed to have it on them, or else they would automatically drop a rank on instructor or Headmaster's sight.
"Where is it…it isn't here?" Squall asked himself. "I don't want to drop a rank already!"
"Hey, over here…looking for this?"
The young man behind him had sat down on his bed, flashing a small, yet gleaming bird-shaped emblem between his fingers. "You know," Zell said slyly. "It could be big trouble if this were to…I don't know…..disappear or something. I hear all the SeeDs needs it, 'cause it shows you're a reliable warrior or something."
Squall ended up gritting his teeth at him in return, stepping over to get the pin from him. "C'mon, don't play around like this~~"
"A-ha! Gotcha now!"
In an instant, the shorter male grabbed the other's arm, heaved him onto the bed and got on top of him, pinning Squall under his small frame. His strength never ceased to amaze the brunet-haired one; that and his kind & cheerful personality was what delighted him.
"Hah-hah-hah, come on, now! The dance!" Squall said. "You want to now?"
"No…I know we have to go. But even still, it's tough to resist."
"For you, it is. Now give that to me." Squall reached for the pin, but Zell pulled it away from him once again. "You want to play games, hmm?" Squall inquired playfully.
"I have a present for you," Zell told him. "It's great. You'll be thrilled tonight."
"A present, you say? What, I don't get to see it now?"
"It'll be fine! I wanted to wait until we were alone to show it to you; it means a lot to me, and I don't want to do it in public." Zell flashed a little grin at him, almost in a mischievous manner. "Humor me?"
::sigh:: "All right, I can wait for it. Now…may I have that pin please?"
At that, Zell gave the bird emblem back to Squall, as he nonchalantly removed himself from his boyfriend's frame. Squall got up, hooked the pin onto his left breast pocket on his top and smiled. "Ready?"
"Ready," Zell said. "Let's have a great time!"
The SeeD ball. Fireworks had been ignited and let loose into the open skies in a rainbow-colored blaze of fire over the glass dome of the encased terrace, pleasing the patrons invited to celebrate this glorious event. Ivy vines grew sparsely on the walls, giving the place a bit of a natural feel. Students were drinking, laughing and living it up here; basking in the many forms of entertainment Garden had to offer. A stage covered in red trimmings has been set up at the main end of the terrace with a team of musicians performing with various stringed and woodwind instruments. Florid, enchanting music moved through the air as SeeD graduates danced the night away.
Through double doors, Squall and Zell entered the festivities, side by side. Their eyes scanned the general vicinity of the area, taking in the atmosphere of what had been offered to them as reward for graduating the military school.
"Impressive!" Zell exclaimed. "Look at everyone dancing and having fun!" Zell turned to his partner with a big smile; his hand firmly gripping his in the process. "We're dancing tonight!"
"W-Wha? Hey…" It seemed too late, as the shorter one was already dragging him out to the middle of the terrace. Squall was taken aback at the thought of baring it all on the dance floor in front of his peers. He didn't know how to dance. "We can't do this!" Squall told him. "I don't want to dance. Please, let's just go somewhere and have a seat."
"Aww, are you joking? You mean we won't dance?"
"Well, err…later, maybe?"
Zell dropped Squall's arm immediately, quite angry at this point. Through the fancy music, instruments and people swaying side to side around them, no one seemed to notice them. "C'mon! It won't be THAT bad…I'll cover for you if you do something wrong. I'll lead, and you follow, and then everything will be fine!"
"…Err…"
"What? I'll help you…eh?" Zell cocked his head an looked at him strangely, then after a few moments a wide grin appeared on his face. "…I got it. You can't dance, can you?"
"…!"
"Heh-heh-heh, you can't can you? That's why you don't want to go out there!"
"…Do you plan on rubbing this in my face all night?" Squall asked him in an embarrassed manner. "I can go back to my dorm and just skip the entire blasted thing."
"Ha, all right…all right, come on. I'll lead, and it'll be fine." Zell grabbed his hand again and started to drag him out to the dance floor. "I won't drop you or anything, so don't be afraid!"
"Umm…'drop' me? What are you going to do; throw me into the air an do some fancy stuff?"
"Heh-heh…not unless you want me to!"
"…"
And with that, the duo went out to party. One hesitant and reserved; the other busting with energy and outgoing…two completely different personalities acting as one. As the night progressed, more and more couples headed out onto the dance floor to strut their stuff in what would turn out to be the most celebrated night in the history of Balamb Garden's erection. The graduation of SeeD was not to be dismissed without reward, because all of these wonderful students put something into Garden. Conviction, strength, intelligence…all of these traits came together on this night.
Especially for one couple in particular.
The two remained out on the dance floor for quite some time, with only each other to rely on for support. It turned out that Zell himself wasn't such a great dancer after all. But with caution and a dash of perseverance, he learned quickly. Squall gently held him, leading his companion's body with his own while they both swung to and fro in tune to the masterful sounds of percussion in the air…all the while bolstering each other's resolve with softened smiles. Nothing could ruin this night, they both thought, as they danced for what was seemingly forever.
~~~
Meanwhile, more guests were arriving. The double doors opened up wide to expose them to the scene out on the terrace. Three of them to be exact; a man of brownish hue and a woman his opposite, each in fine dress…flanking their leader, who had made sure to place his trademark cocky grin on for this occasion. With a red rose tailored onto the right breast of his SeeD uniform and a special purpose burning within, the leader walked in with attitude.
"This is one HELL of a gala, ya know?!" Raijin commented gleefully, observing the environs around him. "Damn, Seifer…sort of makes me wish I was a SeeD!"
Fujin turned and lightly slapped her counterpart in the head. "RAIJIN. TRAIN, MAYBE NEXT YEAR."
"Oww, man! Hey, that hurt, ya know?! And plus, I can do anything that these SeeD guys can do…10 times better, even!"
"…" Fujin developed a puzzled look on her face. "HURT? HARDHEADED. HURT, HOW?"
"…"
"RAIJIN!" Fujin said, shaking him. "JOKE! JUST JOKE!"
"…You're not nice, ya know…damn."
"Ha-ha-ha," Seifer laughed out loud, obviously pleased with this. "She has a point, Raijin. Train a little harder, and you could easily become SeeD. It's simple, really…someone of your caliber could make it easily."
"If ya say so, oww…" Raijin moaned. "Fujin, ya hit too hard for your own good, ya know?!"
"SENSITIVE."
It was true. He couldn't very well argue with her; she had him pegged. "Yeah…so anyway Seifer. Ya think you can hook me up in a SeeD test?!"
Seifer shook his head and grinned. "Sorry man, this is something you have to do on your own. No one helped me, and I would expect the same from you when the fated time arrived. I have faith that you'd be able to pull it off though. You too, Fujin." As he talked, the musical instruments in the background came to a halt, followed by the applause of the crowd. Almost as if this were his cue, he kindly patted his friend on the shoulder and bid his goodbyes to join the rest of the party, since non-SeeDs were not allowed to attend. "I'll meet up with you guys after the party back at my dorm. Until then…"
Seifer parted company with his friends with a wave, disappearing into the dancing & mingling graduates of Garden. He regretted the fact that the ones who supported him the most in his sometimes turbulent journey to graduate from the academy could not stay to celebrate with him this joyous occasion. Raijin and Fujin were faithful allies; the kind of people, he felt, you could count on to be there when the chips were down.
True friends, to him. The only two he ever had in his life.
But in a way, now that they were gone, what he was going to do tonight would be much easier to accomplish. Aside from the few faces he barely recognized from classes pre-SeeDdom, it didn't matter. That oath he made earlier in the day was going to be fulfilled this starry night, under the banner of promise and truthfulness. He didn't care if he succeeded or not; just that he wanted his wishes to be out in the open, where the object of his affection could see. Seifer's mind had been focused on one person in the crowd, and was holding steadfast as he began his search for the one in the crowd…
~~~
"I'm shocked; you really picked up on your dance steps at the end of the song!"
Squall rubbed the back of his head in a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure, content to receive a compliment from Zell. "It was nothing, I guess…you did good too."
"Heh, not nearly as good as you did! If I knew that your competitive nature ran into dancing also, I'd push you even further!"
"Aah, yeah…well, it certainly was tough." Squall really wanted to get off of the dance floor, so he decided to pose his request gently. "Um, would it be too much if we went to sit down somewhere…? It's getting a little hot being in the middle of this tangled mesh of bodies."
Zell smiled and nodded in agreement, He, too, had something else in mind…and he planned on doing it in front of all of these people, instead of in closed quarters alone with him. Here, he thought, it would make it even more special. "I thought you'd never ask."
And so they had a seat at a nearby empty table for two, covered in white tablecloth, just off the edge of the tan-marble dance floor. Zell pulled out the ebony chair for Squall, allowing to take a seat first, then sat down at the opposite end himself. Almost immediately after they took their seats, a pretty young caterer arrived with their appetizer. She placed the basket of breadsticks on the middle of the table and pulled out a small notepad from the pocket of her slacks.
"What would you care to have tonight, sires?" the caterer asked them both.
"Eh? Sires…?" Zell asked curiously, looking up at her. "Pretty formal."
The woman giggled at him. "I'm sorry about that; it's a bad habit of mine. I just enjoy that word, 'sire'. You know how you unconsciously say things sometimes, right? Well, it's that way with me."
"Mmm, yeah," Zell understandably agreed; an obvious smirk on his face as he glanced over at Squall, who caught onto what he meant. "It's fine. So, um…what's on the menu?"
"Anything you want. We brought extra for tonight."
"I see, I see. Any hot dogs?"
Squall slapped his forehead in disbelief at what he heard just now. "Hot dogs? Here, of all places? Don't you want anything fancier?"
The blonde looked over at him and shrugged. "She DID say anything. And that's what I'm in the mood for."
"…"
"Heh, so that's how it is. So, could I get one, miss?"
The woman smiled warmly at him and nodded. "A little strange for an order…but yeah, we have hot dogs."
"I'll take two," he said quickly afterwards.
"Ha-ha-ha, all right. Hot dogs for you. And you, sire?"
"…Hm? Oh no, I'm all right. I'm not hungry."
"Well, okay. A request of two hot dogs. I'll get to work on them right away."
With that, she walked off, leaving them alone. The both of them began to talk about random things--classes, training, studies, etc.--to pas the time as they waited on Zell's order. After around ten minutes of conversation, the topic turned to what happened earlier in the day. Squall had no idea, but his mate was making a concerted effort at drawing this dialogue towards a specific path.
"I don't know why I couldn't move fast enough to save you back there…in Dollet," Zell commented with a tinge of regret in his voice. "I wasn't scared or anything, but…I don't know. I really don't have an answer why I did what I did. Or should it be what I *didn't* do."
"Why are you feeling guilty?" Squall asked him sincerely. "I should've been in better training condition. If I had been, that fall wouldn't have taken place. I'll end up spending even more time in the facility and in the field, all due to that little mishap…don't beat yourself up over it. There's no one to blame but myself."
"No…no, come on. I brought this up because what we were talking about in the morning makes it even worse. We we're talking about death and our futures and stuff…and you almost died today!"
Squall wondered what he was getting at here. "Are you trying to say that this was an omen or something? Because if that's what it is, you're wrong."
"No, that is the last thing I'm trying to say, Squall. Trust me on that."
"Then…?"
Zell lowered his head, but kept on speaking to him in the process. "::sigh:: I wasn't afraid then, but…I am now."
"…Is that so? What's wrong?"
"…"
"It's fine," Squall told him. "I'm taking this seriously too; all of this is incredibly morbid now that you've mentioned it. Yes, I can understand why you'd be thinking about me…err, us, dying someday. I know how you feel, but that doesn't mean it's anything to worry about." Squall shook his head, obviously in a bind to properly get out the correct words at this time. "I don't even know what to say to you; that's how terrible I am at these types of things."
Zell managed a little grin and attempted to support him. They were both a little uneasy right now, but they both tried their best. Also, Zell felt it necessary to cross this hurdle in order for his plan to succeed. "I love you, Squall. I really do. And that's why…"
"…" Now Squall felt like this was going into uncharted territory. With a bit of apprehension, he pursued onward though, despite the fears in his heart. "…Why what?"
It seemed like time itself, after that moment, stood still for the both of them. After this, Zell proceeded to slowly take out a tiny black box from the pocket of his slacks. He had hoped that he was doing the right thing by proceeding to offer himself in the form of a jewel he had bought earlier in the day at Balamb, but there was a constant question in his mind of whether this could this possibly ease both of their fears. Taking a large risk, he got up out of his chair, stepped over to Squall and knelt upon one knee.
"…! Oh…oh, you're not…" Squall gasped, in shock. He had feared that it was something horribly unfathomable that Zell wanted to tell him, but this…he couldn't believe what was happening. As Zell silently placed the ring on Squall's middle finger on his right hand, the brunet continued on. "Oh my goodness…you're not…"
"Squall," Zell said, looking up at him. "I know what you said earlier. About not rushing things to meet our goals and all that. And I'm not rushing anything, because I want to respect your wishes. But…I just want this relationship to mean something. I don't want to lose you to anyone or anything, Squall, so…I want you to know I'm being serious about our entire relationship." Zell smiled at him, easing his mate's fears even further. "I want to keep you near…"
Squall was absolutely speechless. His mouth agape, all that escaped were a few cut-off syllables of words of disbelief. Was he proposing to him? Was he serious?
"I…but…how could you…I can't believe this!"
Zell took the empty box, placed it in his pocket once again and stood straight up. Squall continuously eyed the ring on his finger, still in shock to say anything.
"I'll give you time to think about it," Zell told him calmly. "I know, it seems like it's a huge rush. But I don't want to lose you."
"…I can't believe this…" Squall hazily said, gazing at the ring. His heart was positively overflowing with happiness.
"Err…I have to use the restroom," Zell said all of a sudden. Squall heard him, but it didn't look like he 'heard' him. "Wait for me at your dorm room. I know you're still in shock and stuff, but I'd like to explain my feelings to you some more, in private."
Squall looked up to see Zell hastily leaving to the restroom. He had heard everything he said and understood. And he decided that he did want to speak with him some more. But the ring he just received looked great!
~~~
Zell had just exited the terrace through the double doors, eager to get out of there for a breath of fresh air. However, someone had seen him. Someone, out of all of the people who either didn't care anymore or didn't notice, watched the entire thing between the two youths at a distance. With an equally honorable purpose, at least involving his own feelings, this man followed Zell out of the dance hall.
"No more running, Seifer," he thought to himself. "I must be honest to myself…"
~~~
Zell had been gone from the hall for what seemed to be around thirty minutes, simply wandering the halls of Garden. He thought about all of the things that happened today, and especially about the proposal he offered Squall to be his eternal partner. His nervousness got the better of him, but fortunately it was after he had finished what he needed to do…otherwise he would've had to tell him eventually his secret.
Zell wasn't sure if he loved Squall.
He proposed to him solely to keep him in the relationship…to keep him near.
Of course, he wanted desperately to love him. Squall seemed strong, he knew he was smart…and in a way he thought the young man was also caring, even though he never showed his emotions to anyone. All of these qualities were what Zell looked for in a partner…how could he go wrong if the one he thought he loved fit the bill? It was still relatively fresh; they had not been together for long, yet Zell saw something in him from day one he liked.
But then…why did he feel so dirty for lying to him? Could he learn the answer to his problems with him in time and reconsolidate the relationship?
Or was it something else…?
~~~
Eventually Zell found his way to the training facility inside of Garden. The monster force fields had been activated tonight, which meant that there were no monsters wandering about. Normally, he wouldn't appreciate something like this, but Zell didn't really feel like fighting tonight.
Past winding trees and steel paths, he went…until he made it to a solitary enclosure deep within the facility. A setup where Garden students met regularly, it was a place exposed to the open skies above. Zell noticed how the stars in the sky checkered the midnight blue sky…and things like this he never noticed unless he had been engulfed in deep thought.
Zell walked over to the railing of the curved steel balcony; his black dress shoes clanging against the iron bars of the flooring. As he placed his hand son the railing, he looked up into the sky and spoke out loudly about what happened a little while ago.
"Damnit! Why'd I have to lie to him? Why can't I just tell him how I really feel…I can't string him along like he's some rag doll forever! Squall deserves better than this, but I don't know if I can give it to him! Aagh!"
"I found you," a male voice emanated from places unknown.
Zell jumped in shock at the thought of someone overhearing him. He whipped around, only to see a tall form partially obscured by darkness. The man was wearing a SeeD uniform, as the blond could tell, but the torso and the face were shrouded by darkness.
"Who is it?" Zell sternly asked. "Leave me alone. I need some time to think."
"But what's wrong with your relationship with Squall? You said you lied…?"
"No, I…" Zell was going to explain, but he concluded that revealing secrets to unknown strangers could be a mistake in this case. "Grr! Didn't you hear me? I said scram! And forget everything you heard too!" Zell stepped forward, annoyed with this pesky visitor. "Leave! Or else I'll force you to leave!"
"But I have something I need to tell you," said the voice. "One minute, please."
Zell was going to tell him off again, but the mystery man stepped forward before he could speak. This person turned out to be no one other than the person who was his rival, if not his mortal enemy…the person who inflicted upon him physical and mental scars that would never have a chance of healing. Zell's eyes drew up from the bottom of him to the chest…and finally to the face to find out who had spied on him. This was the very last person he thought he'd see in a place like this…
"Seifer…what do you want?" Zell asked him.
As he spoke, Seifer walked past him and leaned his back on the railing of the balcony. The taller one stared into his eyes as he reached his left hand into the pocket of his slacks to take out a tiny blue box.
"Hey!" Zell almost yelled at him. "What do you want from me, huh? Shouldn't you be back at the ball partying with your friends or something?"
"Shhh," was Seifer's response as he removed a ring from the box. "Please…don't move. I won't hurt you. I just want to do this for my own sake…I must be honest."
"…?" The hand-to-hand combatant eyed him curiously as this man walked over to him, took Zell's left hand into his and placed the reddish jewel on his middle finger. "Oh you have GOT to be kidding me! You…you think that I~~"
"Shhh," Seifer hissed again. Zell obeyed his wishes for reasons he couldn't quite explain; he felt a tinge of warmth beginning to rise in his body. He unconsciously began to shake mildly as Seifer let his hand go. At that point, the gunblade wielder stared softly into his eyes, almost as if to convey a feeling of contentment and gratification at being able to do this. Seifer began to quiver as well, nervous at what he was about to partake in.
"Seifer, I~~"
"Zell…I…this is tough for me. I'm practically shaking."
"…Uh…I d-don't know what to say."
"I'll speak then," Seifer replied. "I don't expect anything to come out of this. If you want, you can hit me with your fists if you'd like, just for wasting your time. Or for doing something so odd like this out of the blue. I don't have high hopes that I'll get what I want…but at least I can tell you how I feel…about you…now that I've truly found who and what I am."
"…Seifer, please don't…do this," he said, turning his head away from Seifer's gaze.
"No, I have to. I have to do this, because if I don't, it'll be one more mistake in the sky-high tower of mistakes I've already made. I can't live like a prisoner anymore…"
"Aah, I…" Zell fumbled word-wise. His eyes we're widened in anticipation, almost as if he knew what was about to take place.
"Please…let me do this," he rasped, drawing his hand to Zell's cheek to return his sight to him. "…Then you can do whatever you want from now on. I won't blame you, whatever decision you make."
Seifer began to slowly buy shakily close the gap between his face and Zell's, inch by inch. They both knew what was going to occur right now, and neither of them wanted it to stop. Under an unsaid from of communication between the both of them, the duo brought each other closer with a strong hug…their hands slowly enclosing the others' body, bringing their bodies and faces into a lock of embrace. Their inhibitions towards each other all but melted away, as the both of them lost all track of time within their passionate embrace.
~~~
Squall had come to the training facility based on information that someone saw his lover enter a while ago. He had already made it to the steel enclosure and was positively busting as he gawked at his ring repeatedly. As he turned the final corner to the meeting place, he boasted out loud about how he planned to accept Zell's proposal.
"I'll do it, Zell! I was shocked when you placed the ring on my finger, but I'll~~"
An emotional stake had just been driven through his heart, shattering it into a million pieces. A fantasy life, crushed by the sight of his fiancée in a fiery kiss and embrace under the midnight skies, killed him emotionally.