Title: A Conversation
Author: Jon Evans
Author email: noggins_evans@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: You know the drill, Joss and ME own the characters and the situations, I'm just playing around with them
Summary: AU Conversations With Dead People. Xander has a conversation with a dead person
A CONVERSATION
By Jon Evans
"Jeez, you'd think you'd at least have a shower. You oughta know how sweaty and disgusting working at a construction site makes you."
Xander looked up slowly at the figure sitting on the seat opposite him. The can of soda in his hand dropped to the floor with a splash and the liquid began to leak out over the carpet. He did nothing to clean up the mess. He just stared.
"What? You're not even gonna say hi? Some friend you are."
"Jesse?" Xander exclaimed.
"Wow. So you actually remember me? I was beginning to wonder because, y'know, a mention every once in a while wouldn't go amiss."
"B-but you're dead."
"And you're a genius. Duh! Of course I'm dead. You saw the dead me all 'grrrr' and 'aarrgg' and 'I wanna bite you'... but not in a gay way"
Xander stared at his friend who leaned back into the leather seat. He noticed how he made no sound at all, as though he wasn't actually sitting but just giving the impression that he was. "And still I say, you're dead. I know that in my experience death is rapidly becoming more of a stage in between living again but... you're dead."
"Okay, that's how many? One... two... yeah, three times you've said that."
Xander grimaced. "And that's exactly zero times you've explained how you're sitting there in front of me."
"Does it matter?" Jesse asked.
"It does kinda."
The dead boy shrugged. "Okay, you want an explanation. You know how the Hellmouth is screwing around big time?" Xander nodded. "Well, I'm a living, breathing example of that same screwing around. Just without the living or the breathing." His friend didn't seem convinced. "Look, I can't exactly explain it either. One minute I'm just floating around like I've always been since a demon took over my body and threw me out and the next I'm here."
"And already making yourself at home," Xander noted.
"Yeah," Jesse grinned, looking around at the apartment. "And a nice home it is. I was actually kinda impressed when you managed to get it. Had a feeling your Important Voice wouldn't do it but Cool You... he knew what he was doing."
"So you were watching that?" Xander asked. "You could see?"
"Well, yeah," his friend replied. "Do you have any idea how boring being dead can be? Not everyone gets paradise and heavenly dimensions, y'know. Not if you've gone and got bit by a vampire. Then all you get is limbo."
"That sucks."
"You don't know the half of it."
"So..." Xander said, still having some difficulty taking in the situation entirely.
"So..." Jesse echoed.
"Wanna beer?" Xander offered, trying desperately to come up with something resembling small talk to get through the resounding uncomfortable feeling.
"Can't" Jesse replied. He went to put his feet up on the table in front of them. They slid right through it. "Like I said, being dead sucks. Plus, I died at sixteen. I kinda feel like I'm gonna be sixteen for all eternity and that means I'll never drink legally," he joked
Xander laughed. "Yeah, the way I see it, sixteen forever probably sucks more than just ceasing to exist."
"Got that in one." There was silence again. Jesse looked seriously at Xander. "So why don't you ever mention me? Not even with Willow? We were buddies, pals... the three founding members of the We Hate Cordelia club."
"The only three members," Xander noted.
"Oh, the others were with us in spirit. They were just too cheap to pay the membership fee," he grinned. "So why don't you talk about me?"
"I..." Xander started. "I don't know."
"You don't know? Jeez, way to boost a guy's ego," Jesse remarked.
"It's not like that."
"Then what is it like? I got killed off then the Slayer jumps in and replaces me so it doesn't matter as long as there's the trio dynamic?"
"No," Xander said. "No way. It's just... Do you have any idea what it's like to lose a friend? How it feels to have someone you've been close to since you were in diapers ripped away? It's traumatic, man!"
"So you repressed like every other dummy in this godforsaken town? Thanks a lot."
"Jesse, man... you may see everything that's happening but you sure as hell can't read our minds. I think about you a lot. You've got no idea. A day doesn't go by where I don't think, 'I wonder what things would be like if Jesse was here.' Do you know you'd have been the best man at my wedding? Did you know that?"
"Really?" Jesse said, softening a little. "And if I had been I'd have stopped you screwing that up and running off like a big sissy."
"Hey!" Xander protested. "There were circumstances!"
"Sure there were. You were scared that you'd turn into your old man. Not gonna happen X-Man. I think you've more than proved that." A smile suddenly spread across his face. "Remember that time when we were ten and broke into his liqueur cabinet?"
Xander burst out laughing as a long-forgotten memory came flooding back. "Yeah! And Willow kept telling us not to and to put that bottle back..."
"... and... and you took a sip out of it..."
"... and it turned out to be floor cleaner!"
The two started giggling like schoolboys. "Then you... you son of a bitch... you say 'oh it's great, it's fine' and hand it to me!"
"We were lucky we didn't need to have our stomachs pumped!"
"Willow never forgave us for that!" Jesse grinned. "Whenever we stayed over at your place and we even mentioned it that piercing glare of hers always used to scare us out of it."
"Either that or fear of the pump," Xander noted.
"Heh. Yeah." Jesse raised his hand as if he was holding a glass in it. "A toast. To good times."
Xander reached down and picked the spilt drink up. "Good times."
"You know," Jesse began. "I was actually kinda glad it was you that killed me... the vamp me, not the real me... I don't think it would've been the same if the Slayer had done it."
"Uh... No problem. I think."
"Of course, if I hadn't died, I would've got Cordy and not you."
"Ya think?" Xander raised an eyebrow at the almost-challenge.
"Oh yeah. I wouldn't have waited until I was locked up in a basement with her. I think I would have been there when the big beastie sprouted out of the Hellmouth when the Master rose. She'd just fall into my comforting arms when we were faced with death and suddenly *bang*" He snapped his fingers. "She would've fallen for me."
"Get outta town!"
"Hell yeah, geek boy!" Jesse smiled. "But who are we to look at what might have been. I'm dead. You're not. You got Cordy. You screwed up your wedding day. Not my fault."
Xander shrugged. It happens, he thought. "So how long do you get to stay?"
"Here?" Jesse asked. "Dunno. Kinda figured it wasn't a permanent thing. Even if it was I don't think I'd be much use to the gang when this big evil you're all worried about comes up. At least witches and Slayers can do something but I don't think Jesse the Dead Boy would strike fear into the hearts of the ultimate badness."
"I guess not," Xander nodded. "But it'd be great if you could stay?"
"What? And make you and Willow actually talk about me? In person? God forbid!" his friend remarked.
"That's not funny."
"Ah, just joshin' with ya," Jesse laughed. "But the way I figure it you won't mention this to anyone else after I've gone."
"They'll probably think I'm crazy!" Xander exclaimed.
"You probably are," Jesse grinned as he got to his feet. "Actually I feel a weird pulling going on." He looked solemnly at the friend he left behind seven years before. "I guess that means I should be getting on with the leaving. For what it's worth it's been good talking to you. Good to see how things stand. I figured a carpenter wouldn't be able to do much to take on the coming apocalypse but looks like I was wrong."
"What?" Xander asked curiously.
"Ah, nothing" Jesse shrugged. "Just thinking out loud."
And with that he was gone. Xander stared at the spot that his friend was standing in for a few minutes before shaking it off. "Damn Hellmouth," he muttered to himself as he went to find a cloth for the developing stain on the carpet.
END
Author: Jon Evans
Author email: noggins_evans@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: You know the drill, Joss and ME own the characters and the situations, I'm just playing around with them
Summary: AU Conversations With Dead People. Xander has a conversation with a dead person
A CONVERSATION
By Jon Evans
"Jeez, you'd think you'd at least have a shower. You oughta know how sweaty and disgusting working at a construction site makes you."
Xander looked up slowly at the figure sitting on the seat opposite him. The can of soda in his hand dropped to the floor with a splash and the liquid began to leak out over the carpet. He did nothing to clean up the mess. He just stared.
"What? You're not even gonna say hi? Some friend you are."
"Jesse?" Xander exclaimed.
"Wow. So you actually remember me? I was beginning to wonder because, y'know, a mention every once in a while wouldn't go amiss."
"B-but you're dead."
"And you're a genius. Duh! Of course I'm dead. You saw the dead me all 'grrrr' and 'aarrgg' and 'I wanna bite you'... but not in a gay way"
Xander stared at his friend who leaned back into the leather seat. He noticed how he made no sound at all, as though he wasn't actually sitting but just giving the impression that he was. "And still I say, you're dead. I know that in my experience death is rapidly becoming more of a stage in between living again but... you're dead."
"Okay, that's how many? One... two... yeah, three times you've said that."
Xander grimaced. "And that's exactly zero times you've explained how you're sitting there in front of me."
"Does it matter?" Jesse asked.
"It does kinda."
The dead boy shrugged. "Okay, you want an explanation. You know how the Hellmouth is screwing around big time?" Xander nodded. "Well, I'm a living, breathing example of that same screwing around. Just without the living or the breathing." His friend didn't seem convinced. "Look, I can't exactly explain it either. One minute I'm just floating around like I've always been since a demon took over my body and threw me out and the next I'm here."
"And already making yourself at home," Xander noted.
"Yeah," Jesse grinned, looking around at the apartment. "And a nice home it is. I was actually kinda impressed when you managed to get it. Had a feeling your Important Voice wouldn't do it but Cool You... he knew what he was doing."
"So you were watching that?" Xander asked. "You could see?"
"Well, yeah," his friend replied. "Do you have any idea how boring being dead can be? Not everyone gets paradise and heavenly dimensions, y'know. Not if you've gone and got bit by a vampire. Then all you get is limbo."
"That sucks."
"You don't know the half of it."
"So..." Xander said, still having some difficulty taking in the situation entirely.
"So..." Jesse echoed.
"Wanna beer?" Xander offered, trying desperately to come up with something resembling small talk to get through the resounding uncomfortable feeling.
"Can't" Jesse replied. He went to put his feet up on the table in front of them. They slid right through it. "Like I said, being dead sucks. Plus, I died at sixteen. I kinda feel like I'm gonna be sixteen for all eternity and that means I'll never drink legally," he joked
Xander laughed. "Yeah, the way I see it, sixteen forever probably sucks more than just ceasing to exist."
"Got that in one." There was silence again. Jesse looked seriously at Xander. "So why don't you ever mention me? Not even with Willow? We were buddies, pals... the three founding members of the We Hate Cordelia club."
"The only three members," Xander noted.
"Oh, the others were with us in spirit. They were just too cheap to pay the membership fee," he grinned. "So why don't you talk about me?"
"I..." Xander started. "I don't know."
"You don't know? Jeez, way to boost a guy's ego," Jesse remarked.
"It's not like that."
"Then what is it like? I got killed off then the Slayer jumps in and replaces me so it doesn't matter as long as there's the trio dynamic?"
"No," Xander said. "No way. It's just... Do you have any idea what it's like to lose a friend? How it feels to have someone you've been close to since you were in diapers ripped away? It's traumatic, man!"
"So you repressed like every other dummy in this godforsaken town? Thanks a lot."
"Jesse, man... you may see everything that's happening but you sure as hell can't read our minds. I think about you a lot. You've got no idea. A day doesn't go by where I don't think, 'I wonder what things would be like if Jesse was here.' Do you know you'd have been the best man at my wedding? Did you know that?"
"Really?" Jesse said, softening a little. "And if I had been I'd have stopped you screwing that up and running off like a big sissy."
"Hey!" Xander protested. "There were circumstances!"
"Sure there were. You were scared that you'd turn into your old man. Not gonna happen X-Man. I think you've more than proved that." A smile suddenly spread across his face. "Remember that time when we were ten and broke into his liqueur cabinet?"
Xander burst out laughing as a long-forgotten memory came flooding back. "Yeah! And Willow kept telling us not to and to put that bottle back..."
"... and... and you took a sip out of it..."
"... and it turned out to be floor cleaner!"
The two started giggling like schoolboys. "Then you... you son of a bitch... you say 'oh it's great, it's fine' and hand it to me!"
"We were lucky we didn't need to have our stomachs pumped!"
"Willow never forgave us for that!" Jesse grinned. "Whenever we stayed over at your place and we even mentioned it that piercing glare of hers always used to scare us out of it."
"Either that or fear of the pump," Xander noted.
"Heh. Yeah." Jesse raised his hand as if he was holding a glass in it. "A toast. To good times."
Xander reached down and picked the spilt drink up. "Good times."
"You know," Jesse began. "I was actually kinda glad it was you that killed me... the vamp me, not the real me... I don't think it would've been the same if the Slayer had done it."
"Uh... No problem. I think."
"Of course, if I hadn't died, I would've got Cordy and not you."
"Ya think?" Xander raised an eyebrow at the almost-challenge.
"Oh yeah. I wouldn't have waited until I was locked up in a basement with her. I think I would have been there when the big beastie sprouted out of the Hellmouth when the Master rose. She'd just fall into my comforting arms when we were faced with death and suddenly *bang*" He snapped his fingers. "She would've fallen for me."
"Get outta town!"
"Hell yeah, geek boy!" Jesse smiled. "But who are we to look at what might have been. I'm dead. You're not. You got Cordy. You screwed up your wedding day. Not my fault."
Xander shrugged. It happens, he thought. "So how long do you get to stay?"
"Here?" Jesse asked. "Dunno. Kinda figured it wasn't a permanent thing. Even if it was I don't think I'd be much use to the gang when this big evil you're all worried about comes up. At least witches and Slayers can do something but I don't think Jesse the Dead Boy would strike fear into the hearts of the ultimate badness."
"I guess not," Xander nodded. "But it'd be great if you could stay?"
"What? And make you and Willow actually talk about me? In person? God forbid!" his friend remarked.
"That's not funny."
"Ah, just joshin' with ya," Jesse laughed. "But the way I figure it you won't mention this to anyone else after I've gone."
"They'll probably think I'm crazy!" Xander exclaimed.
"You probably are," Jesse grinned as he got to his feet. "Actually I feel a weird pulling going on." He looked solemnly at the friend he left behind seven years before. "I guess that means I should be getting on with the leaving. For what it's worth it's been good talking to you. Good to see how things stand. I figured a carpenter wouldn't be able to do much to take on the coming apocalypse but looks like I was wrong."
"What?" Xander asked curiously.
"Ah, nothing" Jesse shrugged. "Just thinking out loud."
And with that he was gone. Xander stared at the spot that his friend was standing in for a few minutes before shaking it off. "Damn Hellmouth," he muttered to himself as he went to find a cloth for the developing stain on the carpet.
END