Chapter Nine – No Officer, That Substance Isn't Illegal.
"Xander, what ya thinking?"
"I was wondering if monkeys will ever rule the world."
"Maybe not the whole world but I could see them running Africa."
"I suppose but who really wants Africa?"
"Africans."
"Then why do so many of them want to leave?"
"Okay, how about big game hunters?"
"I don't think they would want to stay."
"Camels."
"Yeah, camels."
"So that's settled then."
"Hey, what were you thinking?"
"I was thinking I wonder what Xander was thinking."
"Before that."
"I was wondering what was on telly tonight."
"You should have just looked at the TV guide."
"Thank you for that piece of advice but I couldn't find the TV guide."
"I would help you look for it but…you know…I'm lazy."
"Yeah, I know."
"I would have liked a little more protest."
"Okay sorry, no Xander you're not lazy. You are the opposite of lazy…not lazy."
"It's too late now."
"I didn't know there was a time limit."
"Of course there is a time limit on protests."
"What do you mean of course?"
"It is widely known."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah."
"What else is widely known?"
"Cheese gives you nightmares."
"I knew that one."
"…Err…actually there aren't many things that are widely known."
"Why is that?"
"My guess is that most people are stupid."
"Most people can't be stupid."
"I think they can."
"Yeah but stupidity is relative. Only 49.9% of people can be stupid and 49.9% are smart."
"What about the middle 0.2%?"
"They're average."
"Don't most people consider themselves average?"
"Yeah but that is because most stupid people don't want to admit their stupid."
"And the smart people?"
"They are smart enough to know that people like humbleness. So you see most people can't be stupid."
"Sure they can."
"But I just proved that it is impossible."
"You forget one thing."
"What's that?"
"Stupidity will always find a way."
"I don't think they will get that parody."
"We'll just have to take that chance, won't we?"
"So…"
"Can't think of anything to say?"
"Nope."
"Neither can I."
"You want to sit in silence and stare distantly into the…um…distance?"
"Sure."