Hey, welcome back. Chapter Eight is now at the ready. If you're a long-
time faithful reader then please, continue. If you've just be joined us,
but can't be bothered to go back and read my previous 27105 words, then
your luck's in, cos I've decided to start opening each chapter with a brief
recap of previous events, so people don't get confused or lost in the
lavish maze of this ever growing fanfic. (Still, shame on you! You ought
to take time to read the full story. I admit though, I'm often no better
myself. Shame on me also. . .I'll try to practice what I preach).
However, I don't have time right now, so it'll have to wait until Chapter Nine. Sorry!
Disclaimer - I own none of the characters or concepts in 'Kim Possible' and 'Back to the Future'. But I think that goes without saying.
***
We scarpered from the parking lot quickly, before the Knights of Rodeghan had a chance to come to. Slipping sleekly through the streets, I led Dr D back down the shadowed side street where I'd been forced to abandon to futile 626. There it was, still in good condition, safe and untouched.
"My 626!" he exclaimed, racing over and embracing the exhausted machine. "I promise I'll never let you out of my sight again!"
"Hey, I took good care of it, doc! You wouldn't believe the incredible adventure that thing took me on!"
"Of course I would, Shego - I was there!" he snapped. "And I've been waiting fifteen agonising years for this moment to at last take its merciful toll! When you came to me with this wonderful machine back in the summer of 1988, I knew from that moment on, when I got a glimpse of my destiny, that I would always await the day when I'd finally get my own chance to travel through time! And that's exactly what I'm gonna do now! I'm going to take that temporal-defying trip that I've always dreamed of!"
"You're going to travel through time yourself?" I asked. "Right here, right now? Doc, I hate to break it to you, but we've got work to do. . ."
"That can wait, Shego. Besides, using this thing, I can do it in absolutely no time at all! Once I refill this thing with plutonium, I can set off to the distant future and be back in an instant as far as the rest of this contemporary world is concerned!"
I sighed. I guessed there was no stopping Drakken. I just hoped he knew what he was doing. My first taste of time travel had served to teach me just how dangerous the whole damn thing can be. Anyway, first things first, we still had to return to our current lair, just to gather the fuel to even mobilise his beloved machine. Attaching it to our usual vehicle, we made the journey back, my heart still beating fairly fast, and, rather oddly, my left arm itching. I hate it when I itch, in any area of my body. Yeah, I know that's hardly an unusual peeve, but for me, when you think about it, itching is a particularly cruel form of torture. It's always so difficult to scratch without leaving puncture marks in my skin. Having long sharp claws in place of nails does wonders for your self-defence and tin can opening-abilities, but it has its disadvantages too.
"Will you stop that constant scratching, Shego?" Drakken growled. "It's getting to be very annoying!"
"I can't help it, Drakken! And besides, it's hardly fun having flea bites all down your arm!"
"Flea bites? Where do you come into contact with fleas? Commodore Puddles has had enough of that spray applied to be declared a parasite-free zone!"
"Well, that cat of yours looked none too sanitary. . ."
"What cat?" He looked somewhat puzzled.
"You know, Oliver. That cat you had back in 1988."
"Oh yes. . .Oliver." He sighed, sadly. "I remember him alright. . ."
Nothing more was said on the matter. Drakken just stared forlornly out into space for the rest of the journey, his initial excitement only returning when our current lair finally loomed back into view. At this point, he was quick to root out the essential plutonium storage unit and fish out enough fuel to power the 626 for another two journeys, before dragging the device back outside and diving head-first into the front seat.
"Are you coming, Shego?" he asked.
"Nah - I've had enough experience with time travel already to last me for the rest of my life." I paused. "So, how far you going?"
"About. . .fifteen years. It's a nice round number."
"Look me up when you get there, won't you? I guess I'll be about forty. . ."
"I guess so." He began to rev up the engine. "Oh yes, and Shego - I don't know for how long in your time I'll be gone. I'll try to get back as quickly as I can, but if something's up with the time circuits, and I don't get back quite as quickly as I'd hoped, then, whatever you do, *guard the supply of plutonium*! That matter is essential to the next phase in my scheme for world domination - without it, there can be no more time travel. And I have reason to believe that a certain teenage archnemesis is onto us on this one! So, if you see him anywhere in the perimeter of the lair. . . well, you know what to do!"
"Seek and destroy - sure thing. Have a nice trip." He was already tearing half-way up the road before I clicked. "Did you say 'him'? *Him*? What are you talking about? Drakken!"
But one flash of brilliant white and one burst of mild flame a mere split- second later and already he was gone.
Thinking about it made me feel uneasy, considering all I'd recently been through, so I decided not to dwell on it and just get the one thing my body had been aching for the second we'd started this little escapade - some much-needed shut-eye. The second I returned to the cover of the lair, all I could do was lie down and go to sleep. Interestingly, Drakken didn't return in 'no time at all'. In fact he was actually gone for quite a while. I slept in for way longer than I meant to, waking up with a start at about 10:30 in the morning, when a trio of Drakken's henchmen came bursting in in a flurry.
"Hey, yo, Shego!" one of them called. "Where the hell is Dr D?"
"You mean he still isn't back yet? Well, I don't know, it's more a matter of *when* he is. . ." I could just imagine the guy out there on his own, winding up in the Middle Ages by mistake and getting burned at the stake for being a heretic - a pretty discomforting thought.
"Well, whatever, Shego, we have a problem - our security cameras have detected a pair of intruders attempting to infiltrate the lair! You have any idea what they've come for."
"Hmm. . .that can't be too hard to figure out! Whatever you do, don't let them take the plutonium! That stuff stays here at all costs! You guys had better block every possible escape route in the building, and be sure to handle any dopey sidekicks that give you any aggro. . . just leave the real scourge up to me!"
Yeah, I'd gone easy on Kim as a kid, sparing her life and all, when I could have just as easy crushed her to a pulp. Now though, she had no excuses. There was no reason now why I shouldn't take care of business. . . she was a threat to all our future prospects, and left me with no choice but to eradicate her on the spot. Slightly personal, but no matter. And it was gonna be so, so sweet. . .my reward for being so patient with things back in 1988.
"You can run, but you can't hide, girl!" I jeered, racing round the mountains of crates in the main body of the lair. "Just lay back and prepare to be pulverised!"
And, my taunting didn't go without response. A teenage adversary leapt out from the cover of the crates and landed directly in my path. Only, it wasn't Kim Possible. I growled, impatiently. I had no time for games. Kim's dopey sidekick. . .his name always escapes my mind, but hey, it's not important. Oh sure, I'm a sidekick myself, so I'm usually one for ensuring that they get a decent share of respect and recognition for all their devotion in this main guy-centric world, but, well you really gotta be worthy of that respect in the first place. This guy - no dice.
"Hey, get out the way, loser sidekick!" I snapped, continuing to run and aiming a blow.
"Who are you calling 'loser sidekick', loser sidekick?" he snapped back, dodging my blow with such amazing agility that for a few micro-seconds I was stunned, giving him time to land full on his feet. "And I've told you a thousand times never to mess with Ron Stoppable!"
I laughed, recovered. "Or what? You'll punch my lights out with your constant slew of lame distractions?"
"No - why should bother with distractions when I can do it with the skin on my bare fists!" Without warning, he suddenly sent himself flying at me, clenched hand outstretched. "Eat knuckle sandwich, Shego!"
POW! I skidded back, face smarting hard with the impact of fist against jaw. His punch packed a lot of weight, and it took me by surprise too.
"Hey, since when did you become Mr Physical?"
"What? You're kidding me? I've already kicked your sorry butt a thousand times!"
I flashed my green plasma rays in fury. "What? You couldn't beat up a comatose possum with its paws tied behind its back! You're about as weak and wimpy as dopey sidekicks get! You know full well that if it wasn't for your stupid friend you'd have been pulverised a long time ago!"
"Hello? Anybody home? I am NOT a sidekick! I'm Ron Stoppable, the fast, the fearless and the furious! Every evil-doers nightmare, every lady's dream! Unless of course that lady also happens to be an evil-doer! You know why I'm here, Shego - we've traced the supply of stolen plutonium originally thought to be the possession of the Knights of Rodeghan to your lair, and it's our job to ensure that it's safely returned!"
"Yeah? You and what army?"
"This one! These little guys right here!" he retorted, flashing two hands worth of knuckles and lunging himself at me once again. More wary this time, I was able to evade a few of his blows and get in several good hits myself, but still nothing could have prepared me for just how tough he'd be in full combat. I fired green destructive rays straight at him - he didn't seem in the least bit spooked. He just dodged the full onslaught as it came and gave me a second helping of those knuckle sandwiches, complemented with a side helping of designer leather boot sub to the shin. I high- kicked and low-chopped back with all the strength and energy I could muster, but he instantly matched it with full-on synchrony. And he really showed no mercy. One particularly heavy kick sent me skidding back against the crates yelping.
"Maybe you'll learn your lesson this time, Shego - don't mess with Ron Stoppable! Now, give me the whereabouts of Drakken and the stolen plutonium!"
"I ain't finished yet!" I growled, scrambling back to my standard battle poise.
I suppose our bouting could have gone on for a lot longer, only the whole confrontation was suddenly shattered by a piercing female scream, which rang hard against the walls of the lair.
He turned back to me. "Well, as much as I'd love to continue dishing out pain Shego, I gotta go right now. My sidekick sounds like she's in trouble. As par usual. . ."
And with that, he leapt away over the crates in the direction of the scream. Still smarting with both bruising and confusion, I raced up after him, scrambling over to have a good view of Drakken's henchmen clustering gleefully around their latest catch. Squinting down, my assumption that the hapless girl they'd encircled would be Kim Possible was quickly cast aside. This captive clearly wasn't Kim. Who she was I had no idea. Whatever the deal, I still had a duty to take her out.
But that irritating blonde-haired boy was well ahead of me. "Bonnie! Hey you goons, keep away from her!" Before I could do anything, he'd already bounded down and high-kicked the whole mob out before they had time to so much as raise their electric battle-rods. Actually, I had time to act (I can move faster than any of those goons), but for much of it I was still too paralysed with horror to move. Victorious, the blonde-haired boy - Ron Stoppable - punched a fist into the air, leapt up and whooped, but his companion seemed less than thrilled.
"Ron! You just like ran off and left me again! I've told you never to do that when those dorks could be around! Just thinking about what they were gonna do to me freaks me out big time!"
"Hey, that's not my problem, Bonnie, you were supposed to be the distraction! If you just did that job and happily took on the role of distraction without complaining, we'd get this whole thing done much faster!"
"I'm like always the distraction! It's alright for you, you get it all - the action, the attention, the glory - and me. . . no wonder none of these creepazoids can ever remember my name!" She shrieked even harder as Commodore Puddles suddenly leapt up from nowhere and sank his teeth into the legging of her pants, ripping off a generous sample in one tug. "Hey! Those were designer jeans, you furry little freak of nature! You are so gonna pay!"
At this point I finally snapped out of it and came bolting over, just as this 'Bonnie' struck out her foot at the little dog, who evaded it swiftly and devoured his booty on the spot.
"Hold it right there!" I cried, still gasping for breath, but keeping myself firmly in battle poise, green gloves flaring. "Nobody move an inch!"
"Oh, I notice that you're thirsty for more," Ron said, coolly, while that pathetic brown-haired girl clung to him shivering, at the sight of my brilliant green weapons. "Well then, you got it, cos we ain't leaving without that plutonium!" In about one tenth of a second he'd already flung himself over, this time aiming foot instead of fists. Once again, I was caught of guard, and sent flying back against the crates. Before I could even get myself together, I felt the daunting vibrations of wobbling crates, and soon felt the impact of crate against head as those at the top (which were fortunately empty - they're mostly for show) came tumbling down and smacked the whole world into whiteness.
When I came too, I had an itchy arm, a bruised mouth *and* a splitting headache. Worse still, Ron and his companion were gone. And, when I raced back down to the storage unit, so too was the plutonium.
I tried to be cool about it. I thought, it's no trouble. As soon as Drakken gets back (which, if he hasn't been abducted by genuine aliens, should be any time now), we can just jump in the 626 and go back a few hours and prevent this whole painful (and confusing) incident from ever happening. Co-ordinate everything so the vehicle 'accidentally' crashes into those teenage idiots on its journey back through time. We could fix it, easily. Then it occurred to me - without the plutonium, there was no time travel. Drat. Drakken wasn't gonna be pleased. Unless of course we could figure out how to harness another lightning bolt, or rather a few, depending on how many times this scheme required us to break down the time barrier - NO WAY.
Just thinking about it all, it seemed odd. Since when did Kim's goofy sidekick learn to kick such convincing butt? It didn't make sense. He'd always been a hopeless fighter, just like Drakken. While I'd always had to stand Drakken's ground for him, Kim had always been the one doing all the fighting for her partner. . . and that was another thing - why was Kim nowhere to be seen? It wasn't like *her* to miss out on a mission against Drakken and I of any kind. And who the heck was that other girl - the really tetchy brown-haired one, who I'd never seen before in my life? What the hell was she doing on one of their pathetic missions?
I didn't like where my thoughts were leading me.
I thought hard, trying to debrief myself on everything that had happened on my journey back in time to 1988. In the end, Club Banana had been spared, and I'd done everything right as far as that franchise was concerned. . .could there possibly have been anything more that I'd changed. What about all that other stuff that I'd done? Kidnapping Kim Possible for one - well, I'd returned her hadn't I? So, things really should be going on as normal. . .shouldn't they? Shouldn't they? SOMEONE, GIVE ME ANSWERS PLEASE!!!!
Turning, I raced back out into the main base of the lair, where Commodore Puddles was quick to greet me, springing forth and embracing my heel with his jaws.
"Let go, you little monster!" I snapped, but some good it did. He just hung on tighter than ever, a mountain of froth suddenly spewing from his mouth.
"It's a good thing you have a rabies certificate!" I sighed. I didn't have time. All I could do was carry on running, hoping the demonic dog would just give up and let go when he found himself unable to bear the friction. He didn't. He hung on, all the way to the vehicle. I ended up hurling him onto the back seat and leaping in and driving. It was kinda reassuring to know I was now in a car that wouldn't tear a hole in the fabric of time the second I revved up to 90, but not reassuring enough to calm my heart or sweat glands. My skin was going hyper with perspiration before I'd even had a chance to back up.
When I finally reached Middleton, at long last, I continued to drive anxiously through the streets, glancing around desperately. Had anything really changed round here that, in my tired and desperate state, I'd failed to notice last night? Well, on the surface everything really looked the same. But something was definitely up. The sooner I got to the bottom of it, the better. I began to wish more than ever that Drakken was here. He'd probably know more about this kind of thing than I would. I was actually starting to worry about the guy. After all I'd gone through just to save him back then, he'd gone and got himself lost in that great temporal maze. Maybe it would have been better if I *had* gone with him.
Kim was my arch foe, and one thing I knew well about her was her inability to resist pulling up a seat at that Bueno Nacho joint and unwinding with a light burrito after completing a mission. Pulling up outside the Mexican joint when it finally loomed into view, I leapt up and inspected it thoroughly from the outside. No, nothing about this place had changed in any way either despite, fifteen years ago, being the site for what must have been one of the most horrific young child abductions this suburban slice of life could have know. And, on the inside. . . well, it was certainly different to the Good Burger interior of the late eighties that I'd become used to over the past week of *my* life, but that wasn't my fault. It was all set to happen anyway - a delightful family-run business to be taken over by a big heartless chain corporation - and I don't reckon that I could have done back there would have the power to change that. Stepping inside, I sighed, totally exhausted. I'd had just about enough of time-travel and its cruel and unusual side-effects. I needed a drink. A strong one. Another non-diet cola would do fine.
Absent-mindedly, I handed across made my order and slipped loose change across the counter without so much as making eye-contact. When, sipping my comfort beverage, I finally summoned the nerve to look upwards, I almost choked when I saw who'd served me. And screamed.
"Kim Possible?! Is that really you?"
She backed away nervously, looking slightly startled, and even more fashion sense-deprived than usual in the Bueno Nacho staff uniform. "Yeah. . .you know me?"
"Do I know you?" I mimicked, sarcastically.
"Well, not many people do. I tend to keep a, you know, low profile round here. . ."
"You work in *Bueno Nacho*?"
"Oh yeah, I've had a job round here since I was fourteen! It took a while to persuade my parents to let me have it, but, well they're only looking out for my best interests. . .do I know you from somewhere?"
"Maybe. . .you work in a fast food joint? That doesn't make sense! Kim, whatever happened to your job as a teenage superheroine - you know, fighting supervillains?"
She looked puzzled, then burst out laughing. "Yeah right! Like my parents would even let me stray one millimetre from this town on my own! You have any idea how dangerous the outside world can be? I couldn't handle it. . .Ron Stoppable, though - now there's an outside world-handling machine!"
"Ron Stoppable?" Hearing that name was enough to make my head start throbbing all over again.
"Yeah. . .now *he's* what I'd call a teenage superhero. Only the coolest, dreamiest guy in school. . .and he can do anything! You should see him in action - the countless things he's done! He's saved cities from tidal waves, babies from burning buildings, and stopped countless villains from taking over the world, including the terrifying DNAmy! Pretty cool resume` for a guy who's still in high school, don't you think? Oh yeah, and he's also a great artist - his parents were good enough to save for years just to put him through art tuition!"
Uh oh. It was suddenly all starting to come together - the pieces in this diabolical flashback jigsaw.
As I dashed down my cola in virtually one gulp, I tried to put things into perspective. Was it really all that important if the roles of my sworn teenage enemies had been shuffled round just a little bit? I mean, even if I wasn't fighting Kim Possible any more, and, by the course of this particular time-zone, never had been, I was still in the same position, right? It was still my job to prevent Dr Drakken's plans for world domination (wherever, or whenever, the guy could possibly be right now) from being foiled by meddling kids. So I had a slightly new arrangement of foes to get used to. . .big deal. It couldn't make all that much difference in the long run, could it? That new Ron had looked as though he was capable of delivering pretty much the same aggro that I'd been used to seeing Kim dish out. If I didn't say anything to Drakken (if he returned), I could get by. No problem. All I had to do now was track down that Ron and Bonnie and reclaim our share of lost plutonium.
The only thing troubling me slightly was that reference to DNAmy. What was that supposed to mean? But, rather than worrying about it, I just decided to sweep it under the carpet, so to speak, and get on with my clear-cut mission. For now.
Only, I'd barely stepped outside when I was almost knocked down by a speeding car, which appeared from nowhere in a blinding burst of white light and mild flame trailing down the tarmac of the nearby road, and crashed into the hapless vehicle in which I'd come. Commodore Puddles leapt out, whining, and flailed helplessly around the drive-through in his shock.
"Drakken!" I cried. "You're back!" I held up my watch, deliberately. "Hmmm, you're a little off time, aren't you? You said you'd be back in no time at all as far as I was concerned!""
Tearing himself out from behind the wheel, looking more solemn than usual, he raced over and seized me firmly by the shoulders. "Shego! You've gotta come back with me!"
"Back where?"
"Back to the future! Something's happened - I need your help!"
"Yeah, erm. . .listen Doc. . .you can't go back. . .I kinda. . .lost the plutonium, okay?!"
"You think I don't already know that? You forget, I've seen the future, Shego! I've seen it with my very own eyes! But, something has gone spectacularly wrong, and I need you to come back with me and help me fix it!"
"But how, if there's no fuel?"
"There's plenty of fuel - look!" He pointed to the trashcans located behind the Bueno Nacho joint. "In the year 2018 I had a fuel conversion done on this thing to make it more energy efficient! Screw the whole damn plutonium thing - this wonderful device now runs on regular household garbage! Help me fill it up and we'll go!"
I pointed to the confused canine only inches from us. "What about Commodore Puddles? Are we just gonna leave him here?"
"No - bring him along too - you never know when a depraved little wannabe- rabid can come in handy! Just toss him on the back seat and get this thing filled up!"
Handling the stuff you find in the back-alley trashcans of a fast food joint was hardly a chore in comparison to handling Commodore Puddles. The fuel vault filled, I leapt into the front seat and strapped myself in, still slightly unsure, as Drakken did the same.
"Oh yeah, and Drakken, you might want to drive around a bit until you find a better road," I advised. "You're not gonna have enough space round here to do 90. . ."
"Roads?" He grinned. "Where we're going we don't need roads!"
With that, he suddenly pulled the gear-stick and caused the entire vehicle to eject itself from the ground and fire itself forward into the skies above. Getting a front seat view of it all, I could've sworn that that non- diet cola was about to eject itself from my digestive system too. . .
***
Okay, thank you! Thank you all! You know the deal now, my dear beloved readers - show me how much you care by filling in the review forms and dishing out your opinions. It won't take a minute, and having a fresh new batch of reviews to read will make me so happy.
See you soon with Chapter Nine - here's a sneak preview to wet your appetites!
Dr Drakken and Shego have now travelled forward in time to the year 2018 to prevent the former's future from being disrupted, where the world has become a very different place, and Shego may have to face up to some unpleasant truths. . .
Stay tuned!
However, I don't have time right now, so it'll have to wait until Chapter Nine. Sorry!
Disclaimer - I own none of the characters or concepts in 'Kim Possible' and 'Back to the Future'. But I think that goes without saying.
***
We scarpered from the parking lot quickly, before the Knights of Rodeghan had a chance to come to. Slipping sleekly through the streets, I led Dr D back down the shadowed side street where I'd been forced to abandon to futile 626. There it was, still in good condition, safe and untouched.
"My 626!" he exclaimed, racing over and embracing the exhausted machine. "I promise I'll never let you out of my sight again!"
"Hey, I took good care of it, doc! You wouldn't believe the incredible adventure that thing took me on!"
"Of course I would, Shego - I was there!" he snapped. "And I've been waiting fifteen agonising years for this moment to at last take its merciful toll! When you came to me with this wonderful machine back in the summer of 1988, I knew from that moment on, when I got a glimpse of my destiny, that I would always await the day when I'd finally get my own chance to travel through time! And that's exactly what I'm gonna do now! I'm going to take that temporal-defying trip that I've always dreamed of!"
"You're going to travel through time yourself?" I asked. "Right here, right now? Doc, I hate to break it to you, but we've got work to do. . ."
"That can wait, Shego. Besides, using this thing, I can do it in absolutely no time at all! Once I refill this thing with plutonium, I can set off to the distant future and be back in an instant as far as the rest of this contemporary world is concerned!"
I sighed. I guessed there was no stopping Drakken. I just hoped he knew what he was doing. My first taste of time travel had served to teach me just how dangerous the whole damn thing can be. Anyway, first things first, we still had to return to our current lair, just to gather the fuel to even mobilise his beloved machine. Attaching it to our usual vehicle, we made the journey back, my heart still beating fairly fast, and, rather oddly, my left arm itching. I hate it when I itch, in any area of my body. Yeah, I know that's hardly an unusual peeve, but for me, when you think about it, itching is a particularly cruel form of torture. It's always so difficult to scratch without leaving puncture marks in my skin. Having long sharp claws in place of nails does wonders for your self-defence and tin can opening-abilities, but it has its disadvantages too.
"Will you stop that constant scratching, Shego?" Drakken growled. "It's getting to be very annoying!"
"I can't help it, Drakken! And besides, it's hardly fun having flea bites all down your arm!"
"Flea bites? Where do you come into contact with fleas? Commodore Puddles has had enough of that spray applied to be declared a parasite-free zone!"
"Well, that cat of yours looked none too sanitary. . ."
"What cat?" He looked somewhat puzzled.
"You know, Oliver. That cat you had back in 1988."
"Oh yes. . .Oliver." He sighed, sadly. "I remember him alright. . ."
Nothing more was said on the matter. Drakken just stared forlornly out into space for the rest of the journey, his initial excitement only returning when our current lair finally loomed back into view. At this point, he was quick to root out the essential plutonium storage unit and fish out enough fuel to power the 626 for another two journeys, before dragging the device back outside and diving head-first into the front seat.
"Are you coming, Shego?" he asked.
"Nah - I've had enough experience with time travel already to last me for the rest of my life." I paused. "So, how far you going?"
"About. . .fifteen years. It's a nice round number."
"Look me up when you get there, won't you? I guess I'll be about forty. . ."
"I guess so." He began to rev up the engine. "Oh yes, and Shego - I don't know for how long in your time I'll be gone. I'll try to get back as quickly as I can, but if something's up with the time circuits, and I don't get back quite as quickly as I'd hoped, then, whatever you do, *guard the supply of plutonium*! That matter is essential to the next phase in my scheme for world domination - without it, there can be no more time travel. And I have reason to believe that a certain teenage archnemesis is onto us on this one! So, if you see him anywhere in the perimeter of the lair. . . well, you know what to do!"
"Seek and destroy - sure thing. Have a nice trip." He was already tearing half-way up the road before I clicked. "Did you say 'him'? *Him*? What are you talking about? Drakken!"
But one flash of brilliant white and one burst of mild flame a mere split- second later and already he was gone.
Thinking about it made me feel uneasy, considering all I'd recently been through, so I decided not to dwell on it and just get the one thing my body had been aching for the second we'd started this little escapade - some much-needed shut-eye. The second I returned to the cover of the lair, all I could do was lie down and go to sleep. Interestingly, Drakken didn't return in 'no time at all'. In fact he was actually gone for quite a while. I slept in for way longer than I meant to, waking up with a start at about 10:30 in the morning, when a trio of Drakken's henchmen came bursting in in a flurry.
"Hey, yo, Shego!" one of them called. "Where the hell is Dr D?"
"You mean he still isn't back yet? Well, I don't know, it's more a matter of *when* he is. . ." I could just imagine the guy out there on his own, winding up in the Middle Ages by mistake and getting burned at the stake for being a heretic - a pretty discomforting thought.
"Well, whatever, Shego, we have a problem - our security cameras have detected a pair of intruders attempting to infiltrate the lair! You have any idea what they've come for."
"Hmm. . .that can't be too hard to figure out! Whatever you do, don't let them take the plutonium! That stuff stays here at all costs! You guys had better block every possible escape route in the building, and be sure to handle any dopey sidekicks that give you any aggro. . . just leave the real scourge up to me!"
Yeah, I'd gone easy on Kim as a kid, sparing her life and all, when I could have just as easy crushed her to a pulp. Now though, she had no excuses. There was no reason now why I shouldn't take care of business. . . she was a threat to all our future prospects, and left me with no choice but to eradicate her on the spot. Slightly personal, but no matter. And it was gonna be so, so sweet. . .my reward for being so patient with things back in 1988.
"You can run, but you can't hide, girl!" I jeered, racing round the mountains of crates in the main body of the lair. "Just lay back and prepare to be pulverised!"
And, my taunting didn't go without response. A teenage adversary leapt out from the cover of the crates and landed directly in my path. Only, it wasn't Kim Possible. I growled, impatiently. I had no time for games. Kim's dopey sidekick. . .his name always escapes my mind, but hey, it's not important. Oh sure, I'm a sidekick myself, so I'm usually one for ensuring that they get a decent share of respect and recognition for all their devotion in this main guy-centric world, but, well you really gotta be worthy of that respect in the first place. This guy - no dice.
"Hey, get out the way, loser sidekick!" I snapped, continuing to run and aiming a blow.
"Who are you calling 'loser sidekick', loser sidekick?" he snapped back, dodging my blow with such amazing agility that for a few micro-seconds I was stunned, giving him time to land full on his feet. "And I've told you a thousand times never to mess with Ron Stoppable!"
I laughed, recovered. "Or what? You'll punch my lights out with your constant slew of lame distractions?"
"No - why should bother with distractions when I can do it with the skin on my bare fists!" Without warning, he suddenly sent himself flying at me, clenched hand outstretched. "Eat knuckle sandwich, Shego!"
POW! I skidded back, face smarting hard with the impact of fist against jaw. His punch packed a lot of weight, and it took me by surprise too.
"Hey, since when did you become Mr Physical?"
"What? You're kidding me? I've already kicked your sorry butt a thousand times!"
I flashed my green plasma rays in fury. "What? You couldn't beat up a comatose possum with its paws tied behind its back! You're about as weak and wimpy as dopey sidekicks get! You know full well that if it wasn't for your stupid friend you'd have been pulverised a long time ago!"
"Hello? Anybody home? I am NOT a sidekick! I'm Ron Stoppable, the fast, the fearless and the furious! Every evil-doers nightmare, every lady's dream! Unless of course that lady also happens to be an evil-doer! You know why I'm here, Shego - we've traced the supply of stolen plutonium originally thought to be the possession of the Knights of Rodeghan to your lair, and it's our job to ensure that it's safely returned!"
"Yeah? You and what army?"
"This one! These little guys right here!" he retorted, flashing two hands worth of knuckles and lunging himself at me once again. More wary this time, I was able to evade a few of his blows and get in several good hits myself, but still nothing could have prepared me for just how tough he'd be in full combat. I fired green destructive rays straight at him - he didn't seem in the least bit spooked. He just dodged the full onslaught as it came and gave me a second helping of those knuckle sandwiches, complemented with a side helping of designer leather boot sub to the shin. I high- kicked and low-chopped back with all the strength and energy I could muster, but he instantly matched it with full-on synchrony. And he really showed no mercy. One particularly heavy kick sent me skidding back against the crates yelping.
"Maybe you'll learn your lesson this time, Shego - don't mess with Ron Stoppable! Now, give me the whereabouts of Drakken and the stolen plutonium!"
"I ain't finished yet!" I growled, scrambling back to my standard battle poise.
I suppose our bouting could have gone on for a lot longer, only the whole confrontation was suddenly shattered by a piercing female scream, which rang hard against the walls of the lair.
He turned back to me. "Well, as much as I'd love to continue dishing out pain Shego, I gotta go right now. My sidekick sounds like she's in trouble. As par usual. . ."
And with that, he leapt away over the crates in the direction of the scream. Still smarting with both bruising and confusion, I raced up after him, scrambling over to have a good view of Drakken's henchmen clustering gleefully around their latest catch. Squinting down, my assumption that the hapless girl they'd encircled would be Kim Possible was quickly cast aside. This captive clearly wasn't Kim. Who she was I had no idea. Whatever the deal, I still had a duty to take her out.
But that irritating blonde-haired boy was well ahead of me. "Bonnie! Hey you goons, keep away from her!" Before I could do anything, he'd already bounded down and high-kicked the whole mob out before they had time to so much as raise their electric battle-rods. Actually, I had time to act (I can move faster than any of those goons), but for much of it I was still too paralysed with horror to move. Victorious, the blonde-haired boy - Ron Stoppable - punched a fist into the air, leapt up and whooped, but his companion seemed less than thrilled.
"Ron! You just like ran off and left me again! I've told you never to do that when those dorks could be around! Just thinking about what they were gonna do to me freaks me out big time!"
"Hey, that's not my problem, Bonnie, you were supposed to be the distraction! If you just did that job and happily took on the role of distraction without complaining, we'd get this whole thing done much faster!"
"I'm like always the distraction! It's alright for you, you get it all - the action, the attention, the glory - and me. . . no wonder none of these creepazoids can ever remember my name!" She shrieked even harder as Commodore Puddles suddenly leapt up from nowhere and sank his teeth into the legging of her pants, ripping off a generous sample in one tug. "Hey! Those were designer jeans, you furry little freak of nature! You are so gonna pay!"
At this point I finally snapped out of it and came bolting over, just as this 'Bonnie' struck out her foot at the little dog, who evaded it swiftly and devoured his booty on the spot.
"Hold it right there!" I cried, still gasping for breath, but keeping myself firmly in battle poise, green gloves flaring. "Nobody move an inch!"
"Oh, I notice that you're thirsty for more," Ron said, coolly, while that pathetic brown-haired girl clung to him shivering, at the sight of my brilliant green weapons. "Well then, you got it, cos we ain't leaving without that plutonium!" In about one tenth of a second he'd already flung himself over, this time aiming foot instead of fists. Once again, I was caught of guard, and sent flying back against the crates. Before I could even get myself together, I felt the daunting vibrations of wobbling crates, and soon felt the impact of crate against head as those at the top (which were fortunately empty - they're mostly for show) came tumbling down and smacked the whole world into whiteness.
When I came too, I had an itchy arm, a bruised mouth *and* a splitting headache. Worse still, Ron and his companion were gone. And, when I raced back down to the storage unit, so too was the plutonium.
I tried to be cool about it. I thought, it's no trouble. As soon as Drakken gets back (which, if he hasn't been abducted by genuine aliens, should be any time now), we can just jump in the 626 and go back a few hours and prevent this whole painful (and confusing) incident from ever happening. Co-ordinate everything so the vehicle 'accidentally' crashes into those teenage idiots on its journey back through time. We could fix it, easily. Then it occurred to me - without the plutonium, there was no time travel. Drat. Drakken wasn't gonna be pleased. Unless of course we could figure out how to harness another lightning bolt, or rather a few, depending on how many times this scheme required us to break down the time barrier - NO WAY.
Just thinking about it all, it seemed odd. Since when did Kim's goofy sidekick learn to kick such convincing butt? It didn't make sense. He'd always been a hopeless fighter, just like Drakken. While I'd always had to stand Drakken's ground for him, Kim had always been the one doing all the fighting for her partner. . . and that was another thing - why was Kim nowhere to be seen? It wasn't like *her* to miss out on a mission against Drakken and I of any kind. And who the heck was that other girl - the really tetchy brown-haired one, who I'd never seen before in my life? What the hell was she doing on one of their pathetic missions?
I didn't like where my thoughts were leading me.
I thought hard, trying to debrief myself on everything that had happened on my journey back in time to 1988. In the end, Club Banana had been spared, and I'd done everything right as far as that franchise was concerned. . .could there possibly have been anything more that I'd changed. What about all that other stuff that I'd done? Kidnapping Kim Possible for one - well, I'd returned her hadn't I? So, things really should be going on as normal. . .shouldn't they? Shouldn't they? SOMEONE, GIVE ME ANSWERS PLEASE!!!!
Turning, I raced back out into the main base of the lair, where Commodore Puddles was quick to greet me, springing forth and embracing my heel with his jaws.
"Let go, you little monster!" I snapped, but some good it did. He just hung on tighter than ever, a mountain of froth suddenly spewing from his mouth.
"It's a good thing you have a rabies certificate!" I sighed. I didn't have time. All I could do was carry on running, hoping the demonic dog would just give up and let go when he found himself unable to bear the friction. He didn't. He hung on, all the way to the vehicle. I ended up hurling him onto the back seat and leaping in and driving. It was kinda reassuring to know I was now in a car that wouldn't tear a hole in the fabric of time the second I revved up to 90, but not reassuring enough to calm my heart or sweat glands. My skin was going hyper with perspiration before I'd even had a chance to back up.
When I finally reached Middleton, at long last, I continued to drive anxiously through the streets, glancing around desperately. Had anything really changed round here that, in my tired and desperate state, I'd failed to notice last night? Well, on the surface everything really looked the same. But something was definitely up. The sooner I got to the bottom of it, the better. I began to wish more than ever that Drakken was here. He'd probably know more about this kind of thing than I would. I was actually starting to worry about the guy. After all I'd gone through just to save him back then, he'd gone and got himself lost in that great temporal maze. Maybe it would have been better if I *had* gone with him.
Kim was my arch foe, and one thing I knew well about her was her inability to resist pulling up a seat at that Bueno Nacho joint and unwinding with a light burrito after completing a mission. Pulling up outside the Mexican joint when it finally loomed into view, I leapt up and inspected it thoroughly from the outside. No, nothing about this place had changed in any way either despite, fifteen years ago, being the site for what must have been one of the most horrific young child abductions this suburban slice of life could have know. And, on the inside. . . well, it was certainly different to the Good Burger interior of the late eighties that I'd become used to over the past week of *my* life, but that wasn't my fault. It was all set to happen anyway - a delightful family-run business to be taken over by a big heartless chain corporation - and I don't reckon that I could have done back there would have the power to change that. Stepping inside, I sighed, totally exhausted. I'd had just about enough of time-travel and its cruel and unusual side-effects. I needed a drink. A strong one. Another non-diet cola would do fine.
Absent-mindedly, I handed across made my order and slipped loose change across the counter without so much as making eye-contact. When, sipping my comfort beverage, I finally summoned the nerve to look upwards, I almost choked when I saw who'd served me. And screamed.
"Kim Possible?! Is that really you?"
She backed away nervously, looking slightly startled, and even more fashion sense-deprived than usual in the Bueno Nacho staff uniform. "Yeah. . .you know me?"
"Do I know you?" I mimicked, sarcastically.
"Well, not many people do. I tend to keep a, you know, low profile round here. . ."
"You work in *Bueno Nacho*?"
"Oh yeah, I've had a job round here since I was fourteen! It took a while to persuade my parents to let me have it, but, well they're only looking out for my best interests. . .do I know you from somewhere?"
"Maybe. . .you work in a fast food joint? That doesn't make sense! Kim, whatever happened to your job as a teenage superheroine - you know, fighting supervillains?"
She looked puzzled, then burst out laughing. "Yeah right! Like my parents would even let me stray one millimetre from this town on my own! You have any idea how dangerous the outside world can be? I couldn't handle it. . .Ron Stoppable, though - now there's an outside world-handling machine!"
"Ron Stoppable?" Hearing that name was enough to make my head start throbbing all over again.
"Yeah. . .now *he's* what I'd call a teenage superhero. Only the coolest, dreamiest guy in school. . .and he can do anything! You should see him in action - the countless things he's done! He's saved cities from tidal waves, babies from burning buildings, and stopped countless villains from taking over the world, including the terrifying DNAmy! Pretty cool resume` for a guy who's still in high school, don't you think? Oh yeah, and he's also a great artist - his parents were good enough to save for years just to put him through art tuition!"
Uh oh. It was suddenly all starting to come together - the pieces in this diabolical flashback jigsaw.
As I dashed down my cola in virtually one gulp, I tried to put things into perspective. Was it really all that important if the roles of my sworn teenage enemies had been shuffled round just a little bit? I mean, even if I wasn't fighting Kim Possible any more, and, by the course of this particular time-zone, never had been, I was still in the same position, right? It was still my job to prevent Dr Drakken's plans for world domination (wherever, or whenever, the guy could possibly be right now) from being foiled by meddling kids. So I had a slightly new arrangement of foes to get used to. . .big deal. It couldn't make all that much difference in the long run, could it? That new Ron had looked as though he was capable of delivering pretty much the same aggro that I'd been used to seeing Kim dish out. If I didn't say anything to Drakken (if he returned), I could get by. No problem. All I had to do now was track down that Ron and Bonnie and reclaim our share of lost plutonium.
The only thing troubling me slightly was that reference to DNAmy. What was that supposed to mean? But, rather than worrying about it, I just decided to sweep it under the carpet, so to speak, and get on with my clear-cut mission. For now.
Only, I'd barely stepped outside when I was almost knocked down by a speeding car, which appeared from nowhere in a blinding burst of white light and mild flame trailing down the tarmac of the nearby road, and crashed into the hapless vehicle in which I'd come. Commodore Puddles leapt out, whining, and flailed helplessly around the drive-through in his shock.
"Drakken!" I cried. "You're back!" I held up my watch, deliberately. "Hmmm, you're a little off time, aren't you? You said you'd be back in no time at all as far as I was concerned!""
Tearing himself out from behind the wheel, looking more solemn than usual, he raced over and seized me firmly by the shoulders. "Shego! You've gotta come back with me!"
"Back where?"
"Back to the future! Something's happened - I need your help!"
"Yeah, erm. . .listen Doc. . .you can't go back. . .I kinda. . .lost the plutonium, okay?!"
"You think I don't already know that? You forget, I've seen the future, Shego! I've seen it with my very own eyes! But, something has gone spectacularly wrong, and I need you to come back with me and help me fix it!"
"But how, if there's no fuel?"
"There's plenty of fuel - look!" He pointed to the trashcans located behind the Bueno Nacho joint. "In the year 2018 I had a fuel conversion done on this thing to make it more energy efficient! Screw the whole damn plutonium thing - this wonderful device now runs on regular household garbage! Help me fill it up and we'll go!"
I pointed to the confused canine only inches from us. "What about Commodore Puddles? Are we just gonna leave him here?"
"No - bring him along too - you never know when a depraved little wannabe- rabid can come in handy! Just toss him on the back seat and get this thing filled up!"
Handling the stuff you find in the back-alley trashcans of a fast food joint was hardly a chore in comparison to handling Commodore Puddles. The fuel vault filled, I leapt into the front seat and strapped myself in, still slightly unsure, as Drakken did the same.
"Oh yeah, and Drakken, you might want to drive around a bit until you find a better road," I advised. "You're not gonna have enough space round here to do 90. . ."
"Roads?" He grinned. "Where we're going we don't need roads!"
With that, he suddenly pulled the gear-stick and caused the entire vehicle to eject itself from the ground and fire itself forward into the skies above. Getting a front seat view of it all, I could've sworn that that non- diet cola was about to eject itself from my digestive system too. . .
***
Okay, thank you! Thank you all! You know the deal now, my dear beloved readers - show me how much you care by filling in the review forms and dishing out your opinions. It won't take a minute, and having a fresh new batch of reviews to read will make me so happy.
See you soon with Chapter Nine - here's a sneak preview to wet your appetites!
Dr Drakken and Shego have now travelled forward in time to the year 2018 to prevent the former's future from being disrupted, where the world has become a very different place, and Shego may have to face up to some unpleasant truths. . .
Stay tuned!