Disclaimer - This is a fanfic. I don't know what you were thinking, but it
has nothing to do with the authorised minds behind 'Kim Possible', 'Back to
the Future', or any other film or TV show it references (this particular
chapter involves light 'Waterworld' parodies too).
Firstly, sorry that this has taken longer than usual, but you wouldn't believe how much work I've had to do lately.
Okay, as promised, I'll open this chapter with a major update, for the sake of all those readers who've only just joined us and can't be bothered to read the previous chapters. Well, you guys are missing out on a hellava lot, but at least you shouldn't get confused from now on:
The story so far - Well, in the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and is widely considered a bad move. Billions of years after this event, a deranged scientist named Dr Drakken with a world-domination fixation did the incredible and built a working time machine in a Peugeot 626, capable of taking passengers on instantaneous journeys back and forth through time, in the hope that he'd be able to exploit the time continuum. To power this complex device, he'd previously cheated the Knights of Rodeghan out of a stolen supply of plutonium, and, while he was testing his machine out in the Middleton mall parking lot with his assistant Shego, they uncovered his whereabouts and came and gunned him down. Shego, however, was lucky enough to escape by diving into the 626 and inadvertently sending herself on a roller-coaster ride back to the summer of 1988, only to run out of plutonium and become stranded. Her only hope of returning to the year 2003 came in the form of Drew Lipsky, Drakken's unsuspecting 1988 guise, who'd figured out how to activate the 626 by harnessing a bolt of lightning, due in a week's time. During her stay in this perilous age Shego managed to put the future of designer fashion line Club Banana in jeopardy when she accidentally prevented the two minds behind its creation, Loraine Baines and George McFly, from ever crossing paths, and created further havoc when she intentionally abducted the infant form of her future arch foe, Kim Possible. However, after much emotion and difficult decision-making, she decided to return Kim, unharmed, and to save Club Banana. Despite some trouble caused by the future DNAmy, previously corrupted by Shego, she was more-or-less successful and, with Drew Lipksy's help, was returned safely to the year 2003 when the lightning bolt struck. There, she returned to the scene of her initial escape, to discover that Drakken had survived the shooting thanks to a bullet-proof vest, having been warned of the Knights by Shego in a letter she left Drew Lipsky back in 1988.
In our most previous chapter, Shego now had to face up to the fact that, despite her utmost efforts, this 2003 she'd returned to didn't quite match the one she'd left. Side-effects of her little visit meant that Ron, now having never been to Camp Wannaweep, never became a sissy and instead made it successfully as a world-saving teenage superhero, with Bonnie Rockwaller as his sidekick. Kim, meanwhile, has had to settle for a job in Bueno Nacho. Now, Shego's days of defying the time barrier must continue, as Drakken, having arrived back from his own curiosity trip to the future, has mysteriously called her, and his twisted dog Commodore Puddles, to return there with him on an undisclosed mission. Thanks to some adjustments performed in the future, the 626 now has two bonus features - firstly, it can now run off regular household garbage, and secondly, it is capable of flight.
The story continues now. . .
Oh yeah, and an important note - even though Ron has now never been to Camp Wannaweep, I still think that Gill would've ended up as a mutant. He could have just as easily found some other weedy kid to trade arts and crafts with for more swim time, and he'd still probably refuse to leave the water. That poor kid was doomed the second he entered that camp - it seems kinda unfair, in my view, to blame Ron for what happened in 'Sink or Swim', but I forgive Gill. . .he's one of the coolest villains, after all.
***
So there we were. Racing through sky and cloud at 90 miles an hour. Another blinding flash and great vibration, and there we were again, still racing through the heavy atmosphere of the world above. For a moment, clouds aside, the whole area seemed pretty clear and tranquil, like we'd just escaped from the perilous world down below and found our way up to a blissful haven up in the skies, until of course a great yellow vehicle suddenly appeared out of nowhere and almost smacked head-first into us. We swerved to avoid it, only inches from collision, as its horn honked angrily and I screamed like crazy, digging my claws deep into the seat.
"What the hell was that?" I cried.
"A taxi cab," Dr D replied, coolly.
"A taxi cab? I thought we were flying. . ." Dumb question. This car could now fly, couldn't it? "So, where are now? I mean, when are we now, Doc?"
"Exactly where I said we were going - we're back in the good old year 2018. August 2nd 2018, to be precise. I've called you here, Shego, because I'm going to need your help."
"In the future?"
"Of course. Something has gone spectacularly wrong in this future, and you're the only one I know who has the capabilities required to handle this crisis! But first, I'll have to warn you - there's a strong chance that you're going to get wet!"
"Wet?"
"That's right," he replied. "Long story short, between now and the time we departed the year 2003 there's been a slight bit of trouble with the ozone layer, and, well, the ice caps have kinda melted. Result - this entire dismal planet is now covered in water, and what survives of civilisation now does so in sparse little floating communities. The flying taxi cabs notwithstanding of course - people who've tried to escape all responsibilities down here on the surface by taking to the skies in their gliding vehicles for a long term refuge tend to keep out of affairs down below."
Whoa. Nothing like a spoonful of heavy news to make the travel sickness go down. "Really? It all happened that fast?"
"Yes, turns out that humanity, in its entire pitiful state of being, had seriously underestimated the potential impact of continually burning fossil fuels on the environment!"
Man, he wasn't kidding. Tearing downwards through the clouds, all that was waiting there to greet us was a huge stretch of water that covered all grounds. That was everything. Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink.
"Hey, what the heck happened to that stupid Bueno Nacho joint?" I asked. "It was around here somewhere. . . "
"In the year 2003 maybe," Drakken informed me. "But that's all over now, Shego. Any Mexican-type restaurant that may have existed here fifteen years ago will now be gone, I'm afraid - buried deep under all that water you see below you. Just like every other building in Middleton! Or at least, the Old Middleton. That's why the survivors all picked up and headed over to New Middleton - which is right over there! Prepare yourself for landing, Shego!"
New Middleton. It's kinda hard to describe, so I'll limit it to this - it was like looking at a whole bunch of great floating rafts sewn together, implemented with a variety of crudely constructed buildings from old sticks and grass, with spindly looking palm trees sticking out the top of each corner. Just floating there, in the blazing sun, with, aside from the occasional taxi cab seen hovering above in the distant skies, very little in the way of futuristic development. Behold. . .the wonders of the not- too-distant future.
"So, when did all this happen?"
"Some time in 2016, or so I hear," he replied. "And things have been this way since. But, even if the vast majority of it lies buried beneath a mass of murky water, believe me, Shego, this is a world still well worth taking over - oh yes; the pitiful inhabitants of this semi-aquatic empire have yet to meet with the pure genius of the formidable world leadership of Dr Drakken!"
Not a particularly heartening comment, given the context. "Aww, man! You mean, fifteen years on from the time I'm supposed to be in right now, and we *still* don't rule this damned stupid world?"
"Don't question me, Shego! The way this current timeline is progressing, then no, of course we still don't rule this 'damned stupid world'! I haven't yet made any alterations to change that. Back in 1988, Shego, I'm sure you saw for yourself just how brittle the temporal continuum can be - one slight alteration to the past and the course of history changes forever. Some subtle, some delightfully crippling. . . that's why I built this time machine in the first place, as you may recall, to change the course of time. It was on my little leisure trip to the year 2018 that I ran into a slight little emergency involving my future self that I'm gonna have to fix, right here, right now. With a little help from you, Shego, we're about to embark upon a daring mission to change the course of history! Or rather, future history to you and I, of course."
Okay, this is the point at which I'm gonna have to put my narrative on a brief hiatus and explain something to all you wiseguys out there about to scream, "Plot hole! Plot hole!" Yeah, I'm sure you all remember that first fateful night of our great misadventure, in which Drakken transported Commodore Puddles forward in time for one minute. And you're probably all thinking, "Hey, that trip was instantaneous to the cute little guy, wasn't it. . . but he wasn't he gone for that entire minute he skipped over? So, how the heck could Drakken and Shego have future selves here in 2018 if they've been stuck in that infernal 626 for the past fifteen years as far as time's concerned?" You guys watch too much TV.
It all makes sense to me. Contrary to popular belief, having no idea what that stupid word 'nano' means doesn't make you an idiot - hey, I'm the one who has explain all this to you, aren't I? Basically, Commodore *was* gone for that entire minute as far as the Doc and I were concerned, but only because he didn't travel back to the time from which he'd set out. Otherwise things could have been pretty different. Time's non-linear, see? Dr D and I weren't heading out to 2018 with the intention of staying there. We knew full well that we'd be heading back to 2003 in time to pick up our lives exactly where we left them off, and our future selves could exist here perfectly logically having already travelled to this blunderful time zone and kissed it goodbye fifteen years ago. Sorry folks, but you'll have to dig deeper than that if you wanna pick holes in this story's logic!
Okay, resume narrative - so there Drakken and I were, preparing to land on this dismal little floating community. Which was harder than it sounds. Impact of landing vehicle against the buoyant wooden parking lot was enough to make it shudder and shake unsteadily on the water's surface. It was a very unnerving sensation.
"So, what do you want me to do?"
"Oh, a very simple task that you of all people should have no trouble with, Shego," he replied. "I need you to take on a vicious gang of homicidal, weapon-wielding thugs, due to start arriving about ten minutes from now. Think you can handle that?"
I've heard worse. "No problem, provided of course these thugs don't critically outnumber me . . . hey, Drakken, what the hell have 'thugs' got to do with *your* future?"
"Right now. . . EVERYTHING, damn it! It's an atrocity I know, but Shego, there are a few vile facts you're going to have to get to grips with if you wish to survive for a single second out here in the world of 2018! Firstly, you've just arrived in a poor and desperate world that yearns for the days when dry land was rampart in the world and life was much more liberated and free from the cruel restrictions of nature. Many still speak of an unknown area where dry land still exists - a part of the world which even the strongest magnitude of saltwater could not smother, and which is still out there, uninhabited and waiting for new inhabitants to come by it and settle. In the future, it is my mission to seek out and seize hold of this dry land before any other creature dare set foot on it! Just imagine the possibilities of ruling the only allocation of dry land in the world! Why, the other residents of this pitiful planet would have no choice but to succumb to my authority! Unfortunately, I'm not the only one out there intent on seeking out dry land - this is where those gangs come in. See, of all the vicious gangs that roam this watery world terrorising whatever dare lie in their path, none are feared more than the Hammerheads, who too are determined to seize this elusive dry land before anyone else. Success? Impossible! It is there incredulous belief that someone, somewhere or another, inexplicably found the need to tattoo a map to dry land on the back of some poor pitiful child - a curious theory which for some reason motivates them to head all around this miserable globe, tearing up all civilisation along the way in their search for this mysterious child. And, sadly, they'll be arriving here in the New Middleton in roughly eight minutes. . ."
"And that bothers you?"
"Of course it does! Why shouldn't it bother me, when, in this future, I'm one of the very people they decide to lay waste to! I've seen it all, Shego - whilst settling in Middleton right now in an attempt to formulate my latest scheme, I'm only too unlucky to be captured by the Hammerheads in the course of their rampage. In the future, I am one of the very individuals they aim to destroy most - they know me who I am all too well; an evil genius only too capable of seizing power way ahead of them and crushing their puny little gang before they've even had a chance to pull in their transportation. That's why they want me dead - they know that, if I live, the day will soon come when I, and not they, find dry land and rule this futile world! Up until now, my future self has always been able to elude them. But this time. . .well, they'll catch me off guard and sentence me to. . ." He shuddered. "Recycling. Not a pleasant process at all, and not one which I can allow to happen to myself at any time in the future!"
"What exactly does 'recycling' involve?" I asked.
"Well, human beings are thought to have initially arisen from mud, aren't they? So this process tends to put you back into the mud - to drown! It's not pretty by any standards! I knew, when I saw all this happen, I had to stop it, but I myself, as you know all too well, don't have the power in me to take on such a powerful group of thugs - you're the only one I know who has the power to do that, Shego. So that's why I called you here - I need you to rescue my future self."
"Well, I guess I could handle it," I replied, rather bewildered. "It's just that, well, Drakken. . .why would *you* need the current me to fix things right now? If you're still into this business of trying to dominate the world fifteen years from now, why can't the future you just rely on the future me to dive in and save you?"
"The future you? Dive in and save me? Ha!" He laughed for a short while, then ground to a halt when he realised how horrified I was looking. "Oh, right - of course you were being serious. . ."
"Dra-kk-en. . ." I stressed, suddenly feeling very tense. "I did. . .survive this flooding in 2016, didn't I?"
"Oh yes, of course. You got out of it fine."
"Then why. . ."
"It's much more complicated than that, Shego. I'll explain later, if you like, but for now there isn't really much time to dig up the irrelevant little details that don't quite fit this particular scene. For now, let's just say that you're on a sort of. . .vacation, and that's why you're unavailable right now."
I wasn't happy, suddenly having a very good reason to feel more flustered than I already did, but right now I didn't have much choice but to leave the vehicle and step out into the unsturdy wooden world around me.
"Okay, Shego, I'm returning to the skies right now for safety while you take care of business! All I need you to do for now is head down to the New Middleton Bueno Nacho joint and wait there for the action to begin!" He began to steer the 626 back up from the wooden platform once more. "That's where they're going to strike first! You'll recognise the gang I speak of when they get there - and when they do, you're to pulverise them on the spot, before they have a chance to bring this entire place down and come across my future self in the process!"
"Consider it done!" I replied.
"Good. . .oh yes, and one more thing, Shego - don't do anything more than you've just been instructed! Aside from dealing with this obnoxious team of thugs, you're under a strict obligation not to tamper with anything else around here! Don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone, and, most importantly of all - don't look at anything! Good luck!"
And with that, he took off with the car and Commodore Puddles, and left me standing there alone. Slowly, I turned and made my way along the wooden platform, wincing with every slight jerk it made in synchrony with the waves, eyes widening with a mixture of horror and awe as I finally arrived at the centre of this bewildering floating 'town'. Boy had things changed since the year 2003.
Aside from the whole setting, and the fact that every building was so crudely constructed from grass and wood, it wasn't really such a bad little burg, complete with all the luxuries of a regular suburbia - bars, nightclubs, a library claiming to house the last surviving copy of 'Vanity Fair', adequate living conditions. . . it didn't take me too long to track down the next best thing it had to that Bueno Nacho joint - a much more modest looking Mexican fast food bar, with rather little on offer, according to the menu, but that was still capable of attracting pretty much the same sort of steady crowds; mini gatherings of starving people gathered round the tiny wicker tables, all anxiously awaiting the first signs of nourishment. Sighing, I stepped inside and made a order of my own.
"FORTY FIVE BUCKS FOR A COLA?!" I was soon heard exclaiming. "This really IS the future!"
"Look, do you want this cool refreshing drink or not?"
"Not at that price I don't!"
"Hey, what did you expect? This is a very rare and elusive drink we have here - most of the cola trees and sugar farms died out in the great flood. If you want stock as difficult to bring in as this non-diet cola here, well, you really gotta be prepared to pay the minimum cost. I mean, it's not like we're making much of a profit - I'll have you know that roughly 80% of that dough is going toward the costs of postage and packaging for this infernal drink - it ain't exactly free! You're lucky we even have one here to offer you right now on demand - most of the stuff we serve has to be ordered months in advance. Table 9 - I believe you're still waiting on your order from the 17th of June, aren't you?"
"Haven't got anything better to do right now," the old man at Table 9 grumbled in response.
"There you see!" The woman at the counter, who, despite having aged for 15 years, looked only too familiar to me, turned her fiery gaze back on my direction. "It ain't easy being behind the counter either, having to put up with these people every day - now, for the last time, are you taking this stupid drink or not?"
"Forget it, Kimmy," I replied. "It seems like a pretty good offer, but unless you're willing to haggle that down to six dollars and 78 cents, which is all I have, then I'm afraid the deal's off!"
Sighing, I glanced doggedly round the interior of the diner and collapsed at a secluded table in the corner, doing my best to stay alert for the arrival of my latest adversaries, but finding it hard not to feel somewhat dazed and dejected. Even the fact that Kim Possible, in the timeline I'd inadvertently created, was still stuck in this lousy dead-end job in her thirties, couldn't amuse me out of my angst. I was still thinking about what Drakken had said. About the future me. Apparently I'd survived the flooding, but, all the same, it wouldn't take a supergenius to work out that something wasn't quite right. . .I just wished that Drakken would have told me straight out, instead of leaving me in the lurch like this.
"Hey! Wait a minute! Don't I know you from somewhere?"
I gulped and looked up. There, sitting in the table opposite to mine, was someone I'd come to know all too well by this stage. Fifteen years, or rather, thirty, since our last encounter, she was sitting there, her precious 'otter-fly' plush pinned tight to her chest, gazing at me with a glance that could only be described as suspicious.
"DNAmy?"
"That's right! And you recognise me? I'm flattered! I could have sworn that I'd recognised you from somewhere too. . ."
"From where?" I wriggled nervously in my seat, only hoping that she didn't mean what I was thinking. . . this time travel business was hard enough without being labelled as an alien at every turn.
She made her way over, cautiously. "Well, you look so much like that idiot Shego it's really kinda creepy. . .but a good decade or so younger. . .are you a relative of hers or something?"
Now this, surprisingly, was reassuring - for a start, DNAmy appeared to be making no link between me as I was now and the 'extra terrestrial' who'd made mincemeat of her car tyres back in 1988. And what's more, she seemed to be more or less confirming my hope that I was still around, alive and well, in the year 2018 - there she was, speaking of my future self as part of the present tense. But heck, nothing could make me feel in the least bit secure around DNAmy - the last thing I was gonna do was let onto my identity or mission to anyone, let alone the same villain who'd almost sabotaged my exploits on the last occasion. So I simply just nodded. Yeah, I could play myself of as a relative of myself only too easily.
"Yeah, I thought so." She paused. "Tough break, kid, being related to a total butthead!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about your relative, girl - you know. . . Shego. . .Ms Loser. . . Ms Loser with a capital 'L'! The supervillain who took her life and completely flushed it down the toliet!"
"I did? I mean, she did?" Suddenly, everything else about the situation - the Hammerheads, Drakken's mission, the cost of a non-diet cola, the entire reason for me even being here in the year 2018 - all was wiped clean from my mind. Nothing else seemed to matter any more. "Wh. . .what happened?" I didn't care what Drakken had said. Something wasn't right, and I had to find out from someone - it might as well have been DNAmy.
"Tsk. For crying out loud, girl, she's your relative! And you don't even know what happened to her, when practically everyone else around these parts does!" She shook her head in disbelief. "Wow, stupidity sure does run in the family. It's not the side of genetic science that I'm into, though. The only thing about genetic science that I love is. . ."
"Splicing animal genes to create freaking freaks of nature! I know!"
"Hey, don't be such a meanie, girl! I'll have you know that those 'freaks of nature' are a stroke of genius - my own life-size, living Cuddle Buddies! With those creatures, I went where no cuddler has ever gone, built the most invaluable collection in the world, and, with the help of my more aquatic creations, was able to escape the flooding back in 2016 and revive my business back up here in the new way of living! But hey, there's more to splicing genetic mutations than simply adding to a historic collection - those beautiful little darlings are essential to my entire masterplan. . . for seizing dry land and achieving total world domination!"
"Wait a minute - *you* actually care about world domination? You're into that kind of thing too?"
"Hello? Anybody home? Of course I'm 'into it'! How the hell did you know who I was if you didn't know what I do? Oh yeah, I've been trying to take over the world ever since high school, back in 1988. The idea never would have crossed my mind, only. . . some really freakish human life form turned up one day and. . . one thing led to another!"
Eep. I shuddered for a few moments. This was all way to much. . .a DNAmy on the same wavelength as Drakken?
"Those life-sized, living cuddle buddies always made great weapons," she continued. "That's no lie - they could attack cities and trash civilisations, kidnap and terrorise, strike fear into the hearts of all those who opposed me. All was going so well for DNAmy up until 2016 - she got thwarted by that idiot Ron Stoppable and his loser sidekick, whose name forever escapes my mind, a fair number of times, but she never gave up hope and continued until even they were showing signs of weakening. I put together everything, in every form - ants the size of elephants, who invaded cities in their swarms, psychopathic-minded birds who'd fly down and attack innocent bystanders for no apparent purpose whatsoever, even a real-life version of the Furby that became the best-selling 'toy' of Christmas 2000, until of course when people discovered that getting them wet or feeding them after midnight could have disastrous results. . . it was the great flooding that really messed things up a bit. Threw everything off course. But for me, well, at least I had a chanced to pick up and carry on somehow. . .this Shego character, well, her loser life had already hit rock bottom and been glued there long before that happened!"
"Uh huh - go on. . ." Suddenly, I was feeling queasy again. I was still having troubles keeping that last non-diet cola down.
"Yeah, well, of course I've never been the only supervillain out there trying to seize the world. There have always been others - the Senors, Duff Killagan, Monkey Fist - but none of them could ever stand a chance against the fearless Ron Stoppable, let alone me. Anyhow, there's always been this one blue jerk with a ponytail named Dr Drakken, this freakin' mad scientist who reckons, for some reason, he's the intellectual superior to everyone else on the planet and that they should all bow down and worship him, but who has about as many brain cells as a mule has webbed feet - with the exception of my special, super amphibious mules of course. If it wasn't for your relative, Shego, who served as his sidekick, he wouldn't have stood even a fighting chance - fighting, after all, was one of the things he was least capable of!" A short interlude for some laughter, whilst I just shrank even lower in my seat. "Shego, well, she had potential. She could really kick butt back when she was in her early twenties. Then of course, she had her little accident - ha! That's when things really went downhill for her. It's almost like it started an entire chain reaction that totally messed up her life - she was never able to fight again, ended up having to quit Drakken's employment and spend the next fifteen years just moping around and feeling sorry for herself, and well, Drakken, let's just say he's never been nearly as successful since Shego left him; his entire operation has like totally fallen apart. It's only a matter of time, in fact, before Brick Flagg and the other Hammerheads get their hands on him - I know they've been after him for a long time!"
The word 'Hammerheads' sparked a small memory, but aside from that my mind remained completely numb. Words can not describe how horrified I suddenly felt. I could barely even lift a finger. . .it was almost as though DNAmy had just stuffed another dosage of that chemical stuff into my mouth, only this time my mind hadn't remained so full intact.
Finally, I found the nerve to tremble, "Accident. . .? What accident?"
"Oh, yeah, about that. . ."
But she never had a chance to finish. Before she could even finish her sentence, a tough, blonde-haired man in his early thirties suddenly burst into the joint, clad in leather, denim and shark-tooth accessories, and, on his biceps, a very vivid tattoo of a hammerhead shark.
"Hey, DNA!" he roared. "That aquatic mule you sold me has been acting up again - I told you, I want an aquatic horse!"
"Aww, shut it, Brick!" she replied. "I told you, horses are much harder to come by in this world. Just treat that mule with the extra special love I've always told you to show my living Cuddle Buddies, and it'll act the way you want it to."
"Extra special love? Don't make me sick! I know what I'm doing. Now, get out there and coax it out of the botanical garden!"
"Hey, wait a minute!" I called to DNAmy. "You're in league with the Hammerheads?"
"No, I just allocate them my living Cuddle Buddies for their health!" came the sarcastic response.
"Then, you're aware that. . .they're about to destroy this place in around two minutes?" I should've been smarter. I should never have opened my mouth and said those words. But, I couldn't help myself. I'd lost my ability to think straight, and it wasn't coming back. I was still much too shaken from that sneak preview I'd just been given of my destiny. Accident. What accident? Why hadn't Drakken told me?
DNAmy looked at me more suspiciously than ever. I saw her lean over to Brick, and hear her mutter, "Listen Flagg, that girl knows way too much. . .there's something about her that isn't quite right. . .she claims to be a relative of that loser Shego. . ."
"Fine!" growled Brick, as four other thugs, dressed up in similar gear, and sporting a variety of strange weapons and the very same tattoo, appeared on the scene as DNAmy left. He swung his attention round to me, as I still sat there, yet to fully thaw from my frozen state of shock.
"Hey, jerk!" he roared. "I hear you're onto us here!"
He wasn't exactly the most discreet guy in the world. Several people in the joint, in fact really everyone, was looking over, cautiously, at the scene.
"Hey, what are you all looking at? Just keep doing what you were doing and don't look over!" he ordered, while his foursome of henchmen assembled themselves in various positions around the building to ensure that his commands were strictly obeyed. He turned back to me. "Okay, girl, spill the beans - what do you know about the mutation?"
"The mutation?"
"Yeah - where is he?"
"What mutation?" Was he talking about Drakken (though, aside from having blue skin I wouldn't exactly class him as a mutation)? Or one of DNAmy's diabolical creations?
"Don't play dumb with me! You know who I'm talking about - and I know he's around here somewhere! He's green, slime-oozing and he calls himself. . .hey, Ned, what's his name again?"
"He calls himself Gill," a fellow, much more spotty thug with spectacles called back.
"Yeah, that's right - he calls himself Gill! And we're hear to fillet that flounder! He can't hide from us!"
"I. . .I've never met this Gill. . ." It wasn't a lie. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I knew it wouldn't be good for me if I just let myself be cornered for much longer. I had to pull myself together and fight back, no matter how troubled I was feeling right now. All the same, I was puzzled. Where did Drakken come into all of this?
"Well, you knew we were here for him, didn't you?" Brick growled in response. "You know what we're about to do here, don't you? I know that freaking fish has seized hold of that girl with the map to dry land tattooed across her back. . ."
"Oh please, that's just an aquatic urban legend!" Kim Possible interjected from the counter, but she shut up fast when one of the Hammerheads, Ned, pointed his weapon straight at her.
"And I know he was on his way here!" Brick continued, at me. "I was planning to issue a sort of, what d'you call em. . .hey, Ned!"
"Ultimatum," replied Ned, coolly, suddenly turning his attention from Kim.
"That's right, ultimatum! I was about to issue one of those! If that gruesome green piranha doesn't show himself in five seconds, we'd tear this whole place apart to get to him and that girl - but, of course, I can afford to be a little more patient right now, can't I? Seeing as how I now have a piglet can I can make squeal!"
It took a while to click that by piglet he meant me.
"Okay, little piglet!" he proclaimed. "Squeal!"
"Don't call me that!" I growled, now starting to swing back into my normal self-mode, clenching my claws for battle and preparing to fire-up those destructive green rays.
"Well, girl, you'd better start coughing up information, or we'll just have to find ways of talking you talk! You say you're related to Shego, don't you? And you remember what happened to her? Well, brace yourself good, because exactly the same is about to happen to you!"
***
Well, there you have it. Chapter 9. Man, this was a hard chapter to write, so I imagine it was also a hard one to read. Sorry if it got a little too confusing, but if there was any part that you critically did not understand, then let me know in your review and by all means I'll try and explain it. 'Back to the Future II' and 'Waterworld' are famous for being notoriously complex films, and while I don't think that the former film is all that hard to follow, the one time I saw 'Waterworld' I'll admit to being a little bewildered. It just seemed appropriate to include parodies of it in this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it any way, even if it got a little too 'heavy' in parts. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter or, if you're a new reviewer, the story so far, by granting me the odd review. I'd appreciate it.
Well, it took me longer than usual to produce Chapter 9. I'll do my best to get Chapter 10 to you quickly, but right now I'm under a lot of pressure and stress at school, so it might take me a short while. Updating for this story will probably have to slow down over the next few weeks - I'll see if I can get back into my chapter-a-week pace when I have a bit more free time. Until then, be patient, I'll do my best.
Here's a sneak peek at Chapter 10:
The showdown is now on between Shego and Brick Flagg's Hammerheads. And, meanwhile, Shego is still troubled by the rumours of her own future. Until of course she spies the perfect opportunity to improve her life as it is the year 2003, unaware that she may be about to initiate a whole new temporal problem. . .
Thanks for reading, I'll get Chapter 10 to you as quickly as I can.
Firstly, sorry that this has taken longer than usual, but you wouldn't believe how much work I've had to do lately.
Okay, as promised, I'll open this chapter with a major update, for the sake of all those readers who've only just joined us and can't be bothered to read the previous chapters. Well, you guys are missing out on a hellava lot, but at least you shouldn't get confused from now on:
The story so far - Well, in the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and is widely considered a bad move. Billions of years after this event, a deranged scientist named Dr Drakken with a world-domination fixation did the incredible and built a working time machine in a Peugeot 626, capable of taking passengers on instantaneous journeys back and forth through time, in the hope that he'd be able to exploit the time continuum. To power this complex device, he'd previously cheated the Knights of Rodeghan out of a stolen supply of plutonium, and, while he was testing his machine out in the Middleton mall parking lot with his assistant Shego, they uncovered his whereabouts and came and gunned him down. Shego, however, was lucky enough to escape by diving into the 626 and inadvertently sending herself on a roller-coaster ride back to the summer of 1988, only to run out of plutonium and become stranded. Her only hope of returning to the year 2003 came in the form of Drew Lipsky, Drakken's unsuspecting 1988 guise, who'd figured out how to activate the 626 by harnessing a bolt of lightning, due in a week's time. During her stay in this perilous age Shego managed to put the future of designer fashion line Club Banana in jeopardy when she accidentally prevented the two minds behind its creation, Loraine Baines and George McFly, from ever crossing paths, and created further havoc when she intentionally abducted the infant form of her future arch foe, Kim Possible. However, after much emotion and difficult decision-making, she decided to return Kim, unharmed, and to save Club Banana. Despite some trouble caused by the future DNAmy, previously corrupted by Shego, she was more-or-less successful and, with Drew Lipksy's help, was returned safely to the year 2003 when the lightning bolt struck. There, she returned to the scene of her initial escape, to discover that Drakken had survived the shooting thanks to a bullet-proof vest, having been warned of the Knights by Shego in a letter she left Drew Lipsky back in 1988.
In our most previous chapter, Shego now had to face up to the fact that, despite her utmost efforts, this 2003 she'd returned to didn't quite match the one she'd left. Side-effects of her little visit meant that Ron, now having never been to Camp Wannaweep, never became a sissy and instead made it successfully as a world-saving teenage superhero, with Bonnie Rockwaller as his sidekick. Kim, meanwhile, has had to settle for a job in Bueno Nacho. Now, Shego's days of defying the time barrier must continue, as Drakken, having arrived back from his own curiosity trip to the future, has mysteriously called her, and his twisted dog Commodore Puddles, to return there with him on an undisclosed mission. Thanks to some adjustments performed in the future, the 626 now has two bonus features - firstly, it can now run off regular household garbage, and secondly, it is capable of flight.
The story continues now. . .
Oh yeah, and an important note - even though Ron has now never been to Camp Wannaweep, I still think that Gill would've ended up as a mutant. He could have just as easily found some other weedy kid to trade arts and crafts with for more swim time, and he'd still probably refuse to leave the water. That poor kid was doomed the second he entered that camp - it seems kinda unfair, in my view, to blame Ron for what happened in 'Sink or Swim', but I forgive Gill. . .he's one of the coolest villains, after all.
***
So there we were. Racing through sky and cloud at 90 miles an hour. Another blinding flash and great vibration, and there we were again, still racing through the heavy atmosphere of the world above. For a moment, clouds aside, the whole area seemed pretty clear and tranquil, like we'd just escaped from the perilous world down below and found our way up to a blissful haven up in the skies, until of course a great yellow vehicle suddenly appeared out of nowhere and almost smacked head-first into us. We swerved to avoid it, only inches from collision, as its horn honked angrily and I screamed like crazy, digging my claws deep into the seat.
"What the hell was that?" I cried.
"A taxi cab," Dr D replied, coolly.
"A taxi cab? I thought we were flying. . ." Dumb question. This car could now fly, couldn't it? "So, where are now? I mean, when are we now, Doc?"
"Exactly where I said we were going - we're back in the good old year 2018. August 2nd 2018, to be precise. I've called you here, Shego, because I'm going to need your help."
"In the future?"
"Of course. Something has gone spectacularly wrong in this future, and you're the only one I know who has the capabilities required to handle this crisis! But first, I'll have to warn you - there's a strong chance that you're going to get wet!"
"Wet?"
"That's right," he replied. "Long story short, between now and the time we departed the year 2003 there's been a slight bit of trouble with the ozone layer, and, well, the ice caps have kinda melted. Result - this entire dismal planet is now covered in water, and what survives of civilisation now does so in sparse little floating communities. The flying taxi cabs notwithstanding of course - people who've tried to escape all responsibilities down here on the surface by taking to the skies in their gliding vehicles for a long term refuge tend to keep out of affairs down below."
Whoa. Nothing like a spoonful of heavy news to make the travel sickness go down. "Really? It all happened that fast?"
"Yes, turns out that humanity, in its entire pitiful state of being, had seriously underestimated the potential impact of continually burning fossil fuels on the environment!"
Man, he wasn't kidding. Tearing downwards through the clouds, all that was waiting there to greet us was a huge stretch of water that covered all grounds. That was everything. Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink.
"Hey, what the heck happened to that stupid Bueno Nacho joint?" I asked. "It was around here somewhere. . . "
"In the year 2003 maybe," Drakken informed me. "But that's all over now, Shego. Any Mexican-type restaurant that may have existed here fifteen years ago will now be gone, I'm afraid - buried deep under all that water you see below you. Just like every other building in Middleton! Or at least, the Old Middleton. That's why the survivors all picked up and headed over to New Middleton - which is right over there! Prepare yourself for landing, Shego!"
New Middleton. It's kinda hard to describe, so I'll limit it to this - it was like looking at a whole bunch of great floating rafts sewn together, implemented with a variety of crudely constructed buildings from old sticks and grass, with spindly looking palm trees sticking out the top of each corner. Just floating there, in the blazing sun, with, aside from the occasional taxi cab seen hovering above in the distant skies, very little in the way of futuristic development. Behold. . .the wonders of the not- too-distant future.
"So, when did all this happen?"
"Some time in 2016, or so I hear," he replied. "And things have been this way since. But, even if the vast majority of it lies buried beneath a mass of murky water, believe me, Shego, this is a world still well worth taking over - oh yes; the pitiful inhabitants of this semi-aquatic empire have yet to meet with the pure genius of the formidable world leadership of Dr Drakken!"
Not a particularly heartening comment, given the context. "Aww, man! You mean, fifteen years on from the time I'm supposed to be in right now, and we *still* don't rule this damned stupid world?"
"Don't question me, Shego! The way this current timeline is progressing, then no, of course we still don't rule this 'damned stupid world'! I haven't yet made any alterations to change that. Back in 1988, Shego, I'm sure you saw for yourself just how brittle the temporal continuum can be - one slight alteration to the past and the course of history changes forever. Some subtle, some delightfully crippling. . . that's why I built this time machine in the first place, as you may recall, to change the course of time. It was on my little leisure trip to the year 2018 that I ran into a slight little emergency involving my future self that I'm gonna have to fix, right here, right now. With a little help from you, Shego, we're about to embark upon a daring mission to change the course of history! Or rather, future history to you and I, of course."
Okay, this is the point at which I'm gonna have to put my narrative on a brief hiatus and explain something to all you wiseguys out there about to scream, "Plot hole! Plot hole!" Yeah, I'm sure you all remember that first fateful night of our great misadventure, in which Drakken transported Commodore Puddles forward in time for one minute. And you're probably all thinking, "Hey, that trip was instantaneous to the cute little guy, wasn't it. . . but he wasn't he gone for that entire minute he skipped over? So, how the heck could Drakken and Shego have future selves here in 2018 if they've been stuck in that infernal 626 for the past fifteen years as far as time's concerned?" You guys watch too much TV.
It all makes sense to me. Contrary to popular belief, having no idea what that stupid word 'nano' means doesn't make you an idiot - hey, I'm the one who has explain all this to you, aren't I? Basically, Commodore *was* gone for that entire minute as far as the Doc and I were concerned, but only because he didn't travel back to the time from which he'd set out. Otherwise things could have been pretty different. Time's non-linear, see? Dr D and I weren't heading out to 2018 with the intention of staying there. We knew full well that we'd be heading back to 2003 in time to pick up our lives exactly where we left them off, and our future selves could exist here perfectly logically having already travelled to this blunderful time zone and kissed it goodbye fifteen years ago. Sorry folks, but you'll have to dig deeper than that if you wanna pick holes in this story's logic!
Okay, resume narrative - so there Drakken and I were, preparing to land on this dismal little floating community. Which was harder than it sounds. Impact of landing vehicle against the buoyant wooden parking lot was enough to make it shudder and shake unsteadily on the water's surface. It was a very unnerving sensation.
"So, what do you want me to do?"
"Oh, a very simple task that you of all people should have no trouble with, Shego," he replied. "I need you to take on a vicious gang of homicidal, weapon-wielding thugs, due to start arriving about ten minutes from now. Think you can handle that?"
I've heard worse. "No problem, provided of course these thugs don't critically outnumber me . . . hey, Drakken, what the hell have 'thugs' got to do with *your* future?"
"Right now. . . EVERYTHING, damn it! It's an atrocity I know, but Shego, there are a few vile facts you're going to have to get to grips with if you wish to survive for a single second out here in the world of 2018! Firstly, you've just arrived in a poor and desperate world that yearns for the days when dry land was rampart in the world and life was much more liberated and free from the cruel restrictions of nature. Many still speak of an unknown area where dry land still exists - a part of the world which even the strongest magnitude of saltwater could not smother, and which is still out there, uninhabited and waiting for new inhabitants to come by it and settle. In the future, it is my mission to seek out and seize hold of this dry land before any other creature dare set foot on it! Just imagine the possibilities of ruling the only allocation of dry land in the world! Why, the other residents of this pitiful planet would have no choice but to succumb to my authority! Unfortunately, I'm not the only one out there intent on seeking out dry land - this is where those gangs come in. See, of all the vicious gangs that roam this watery world terrorising whatever dare lie in their path, none are feared more than the Hammerheads, who too are determined to seize this elusive dry land before anyone else. Success? Impossible! It is there incredulous belief that someone, somewhere or another, inexplicably found the need to tattoo a map to dry land on the back of some poor pitiful child - a curious theory which for some reason motivates them to head all around this miserable globe, tearing up all civilisation along the way in their search for this mysterious child. And, sadly, they'll be arriving here in the New Middleton in roughly eight minutes. . ."
"And that bothers you?"
"Of course it does! Why shouldn't it bother me, when, in this future, I'm one of the very people they decide to lay waste to! I've seen it all, Shego - whilst settling in Middleton right now in an attempt to formulate my latest scheme, I'm only too unlucky to be captured by the Hammerheads in the course of their rampage. In the future, I am one of the very individuals they aim to destroy most - they know me who I am all too well; an evil genius only too capable of seizing power way ahead of them and crushing their puny little gang before they've even had a chance to pull in their transportation. That's why they want me dead - they know that, if I live, the day will soon come when I, and not they, find dry land and rule this futile world! Up until now, my future self has always been able to elude them. But this time. . .well, they'll catch me off guard and sentence me to. . ." He shuddered. "Recycling. Not a pleasant process at all, and not one which I can allow to happen to myself at any time in the future!"
"What exactly does 'recycling' involve?" I asked.
"Well, human beings are thought to have initially arisen from mud, aren't they? So this process tends to put you back into the mud - to drown! It's not pretty by any standards! I knew, when I saw all this happen, I had to stop it, but I myself, as you know all too well, don't have the power in me to take on such a powerful group of thugs - you're the only one I know who has the power to do that, Shego. So that's why I called you here - I need you to rescue my future self."
"Well, I guess I could handle it," I replied, rather bewildered. "It's just that, well, Drakken. . .why would *you* need the current me to fix things right now? If you're still into this business of trying to dominate the world fifteen years from now, why can't the future you just rely on the future me to dive in and save you?"
"The future you? Dive in and save me? Ha!" He laughed for a short while, then ground to a halt when he realised how horrified I was looking. "Oh, right - of course you were being serious. . ."
"Dra-kk-en. . ." I stressed, suddenly feeling very tense. "I did. . .survive this flooding in 2016, didn't I?"
"Oh yes, of course. You got out of it fine."
"Then why. . ."
"It's much more complicated than that, Shego. I'll explain later, if you like, but for now there isn't really much time to dig up the irrelevant little details that don't quite fit this particular scene. For now, let's just say that you're on a sort of. . .vacation, and that's why you're unavailable right now."
I wasn't happy, suddenly having a very good reason to feel more flustered than I already did, but right now I didn't have much choice but to leave the vehicle and step out into the unsturdy wooden world around me.
"Okay, Shego, I'm returning to the skies right now for safety while you take care of business! All I need you to do for now is head down to the New Middleton Bueno Nacho joint and wait there for the action to begin!" He began to steer the 626 back up from the wooden platform once more. "That's where they're going to strike first! You'll recognise the gang I speak of when they get there - and when they do, you're to pulverise them on the spot, before they have a chance to bring this entire place down and come across my future self in the process!"
"Consider it done!" I replied.
"Good. . .oh yes, and one more thing, Shego - don't do anything more than you've just been instructed! Aside from dealing with this obnoxious team of thugs, you're under a strict obligation not to tamper with anything else around here! Don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone, and, most importantly of all - don't look at anything! Good luck!"
And with that, he took off with the car and Commodore Puddles, and left me standing there alone. Slowly, I turned and made my way along the wooden platform, wincing with every slight jerk it made in synchrony with the waves, eyes widening with a mixture of horror and awe as I finally arrived at the centre of this bewildering floating 'town'. Boy had things changed since the year 2003.
Aside from the whole setting, and the fact that every building was so crudely constructed from grass and wood, it wasn't really such a bad little burg, complete with all the luxuries of a regular suburbia - bars, nightclubs, a library claiming to house the last surviving copy of 'Vanity Fair', adequate living conditions. . . it didn't take me too long to track down the next best thing it had to that Bueno Nacho joint - a much more modest looking Mexican fast food bar, with rather little on offer, according to the menu, but that was still capable of attracting pretty much the same sort of steady crowds; mini gatherings of starving people gathered round the tiny wicker tables, all anxiously awaiting the first signs of nourishment. Sighing, I stepped inside and made a order of my own.
"FORTY FIVE BUCKS FOR A COLA?!" I was soon heard exclaiming. "This really IS the future!"
"Look, do you want this cool refreshing drink or not?"
"Not at that price I don't!"
"Hey, what did you expect? This is a very rare and elusive drink we have here - most of the cola trees and sugar farms died out in the great flood. If you want stock as difficult to bring in as this non-diet cola here, well, you really gotta be prepared to pay the minimum cost. I mean, it's not like we're making much of a profit - I'll have you know that roughly 80% of that dough is going toward the costs of postage and packaging for this infernal drink - it ain't exactly free! You're lucky we even have one here to offer you right now on demand - most of the stuff we serve has to be ordered months in advance. Table 9 - I believe you're still waiting on your order from the 17th of June, aren't you?"
"Haven't got anything better to do right now," the old man at Table 9 grumbled in response.
"There you see!" The woman at the counter, who, despite having aged for 15 years, looked only too familiar to me, turned her fiery gaze back on my direction. "It ain't easy being behind the counter either, having to put up with these people every day - now, for the last time, are you taking this stupid drink or not?"
"Forget it, Kimmy," I replied. "It seems like a pretty good offer, but unless you're willing to haggle that down to six dollars and 78 cents, which is all I have, then I'm afraid the deal's off!"
Sighing, I glanced doggedly round the interior of the diner and collapsed at a secluded table in the corner, doing my best to stay alert for the arrival of my latest adversaries, but finding it hard not to feel somewhat dazed and dejected. Even the fact that Kim Possible, in the timeline I'd inadvertently created, was still stuck in this lousy dead-end job in her thirties, couldn't amuse me out of my angst. I was still thinking about what Drakken had said. About the future me. Apparently I'd survived the flooding, but, all the same, it wouldn't take a supergenius to work out that something wasn't quite right. . .I just wished that Drakken would have told me straight out, instead of leaving me in the lurch like this.
"Hey! Wait a minute! Don't I know you from somewhere?"
I gulped and looked up. There, sitting in the table opposite to mine, was someone I'd come to know all too well by this stage. Fifteen years, or rather, thirty, since our last encounter, she was sitting there, her precious 'otter-fly' plush pinned tight to her chest, gazing at me with a glance that could only be described as suspicious.
"DNAmy?"
"That's right! And you recognise me? I'm flattered! I could have sworn that I'd recognised you from somewhere too. . ."
"From where?" I wriggled nervously in my seat, only hoping that she didn't mean what I was thinking. . . this time travel business was hard enough without being labelled as an alien at every turn.
She made her way over, cautiously. "Well, you look so much like that idiot Shego it's really kinda creepy. . .but a good decade or so younger. . .are you a relative of hers or something?"
Now this, surprisingly, was reassuring - for a start, DNAmy appeared to be making no link between me as I was now and the 'extra terrestrial' who'd made mincemeat of her car tyres back in 1988. And what's more, she seemed to be more or less confirming my hope that I was still around, alive and well, in the year 2018 - there she was, speaking of my future self as part of the present tense. But heck, nothing could make me feel in the least bit secure around DNAmy - the last thing I was gonna do was let onto my identity or mission to anyone, let alone the same villain who'd almost sabotaged my exploits on the last occasion. So I simply just nodded. Yeah, I could play myself of as a relative of myself only too easily.
"Yeah, I thought so." She paused. "Tough break, kid, being related to a total butthead!"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about your relative, girl - you know. . . Shego. . .Ms Loser. . . Ms Loser with a capital 'L'! The supervillain who took her life and completely flushed it down the toliet!"
"I did? I mean, she did?" Suddenly, everything else about the situation - the Hammerheads, Drakken's mission, the cost of a non-diet cola, the entire reason for me even being here in the year 2018 - all was wiped clean from my mind. Nothing else seemed to matter any more. "Wh. . .what happened?" I didn't care what Drakken had said. Something wasn't right, and I had to find out from someone - it might as well have been DNAmy.
"Tsk. For crying out loud, girl, she's your relative! And you don't even know what happened to her, when practically everyone else around these parts does!" She shook her head in disbelief. "Wow, stupidity sure does run in the family. It's not the side of genetic science that I'm into, though. The only thing about genetic science that I love is. . ."
"Splicing animal genes to create freaking freaks of nature! I know!"
"Hey, don't be such a meanie, girl! I'll have you know that those 'freaks of nature' are a stroke of genius - my own life-size, living Cuddle Buddies! With those creatures, I went where no cuddler has ever gone, built the most invaluable collection in the world, and, with the help of my more aquatic creations, was able to escape the flooding back in 2016 and revive my business back up here in the new way of living! But hey, there's more to splicing genetic mutations than simply adding to a historic collection - those beautiful little darlings are essential to my entire masterplan. . . for seizing dry land and achieving total world domination!"
"Wait a minute - *you* actually care about world domination? You're into that kind of thing too?"
"Hello? Anybody home? Of course I'm 'into it'! How the hell did you know who I was if you didn't know what I do? Oh yeah, I've been trying to take over the world ever since high school, back in 1988. The idea never would have crossed my mind, only. . . some really freakish human life form turned up one day and. . . one thing led to another!"
Eep. I shuddered for a few moments. This was all way to much. . .a DNAmy on the same wavelength as Drakken?
"Those life-sized, living cuddle buddies always made great weapons," she continued. "That's no lie - they could attack cities and trash civilisations, kidnap and terrorise, strike fear into the hearts of all those who opposed me. All was going so well for DNAmy up until 2016 - she got thwarted by that idiot Ron Stoppable and his loser sidekick, whose name forever escapes my mind, a fair number of times, but she never gave up hope and continued until even they were showing signs of weakening. I put together everything, in every form - ants the size of elephants, who invaded cities in their swarms, psychopathic-minded birds who'd fly down and attack innocent bystanders for no apparent purpose whatsoever, even a real-life version of the Furby that became the best-selling 'toy' of Christmas 2000, until of course when people discovered that getting them wet or feeding them after midnight could have disastrous results. . . it was the great flooding that really messed things up a bit. Threw everything off course. But for me, well, at least I had a chanced to pick up and carry on somehow. . .this Shego character, well, her loser life had already hit rock bottom and been glued there long before that happened!"
"Uh huh - go on. . ." Suddenly, I was feeling queasy again. I was still having troubles keeping that last non-diet cola down.
"Yeah, well, of course I've never been the only supervillain out there trying to seize the world. There have always been others - the Senors, Duff Killagan, Monkey Fist - but none of them could ever stand a chance against the fearless Ron Stoppable, let alone me. Anyhow, there's always been this one blue jerk with a ponytail named Dr Drakken, this freakin' mad scientist who reckons, for some reason, he's the intellectual superior to everyone else on the planet and that they should all bow down and worship him, but who has about as many brain cells as a mule has webbed feet - with the exception of my special, super amphibious mules of course. If it wasn't for your relative, Shego, who served as his sidekick, he wouldn't have stood even a fighting chance - fighting, after all, was one of the things he was least capable of!" A short interlude for some laughter, whilst I just shrank even lower in my seat. "Shego, well, she had potential. She could really kick butt back when she was in her early twenties. Then of course, she had her little accident - ha! That's when things really went downhill for her. It's almost like it started an entire chain reaction that totally messed up her life - she was never able to fight again, ended up having to quit Drakken's employment and spend the next fifteen years just moping around and feeling sorry for herself, and well, Drakken, let's just say he's never been nearly as successful since Shego left him; his entire operation has like totally fallen apart. It's only a matter of time, in fact, before Brick Flagg and the other Hammerheads get their hands on him - I know they've been after him for a long time!"
The word 'Hammerheads' sparked a small memory, but aside from that my mind remained completely numb. Words can not describe how horrified I suddenly felt. I could barely even lift a finger. . .it was almost as though DNAmy had just stuffed another dosage of that chemical stuff into my mouth, only this time my mind hadn't remained so full intact.
Finally, I found the nerve to tremble, "Accident. . .? What accident?"
"Oh, yeah, about that. . ."
But she never had a chance to finish. Before she could even finish her sentence, a tough, blonde-haired man in his early thirties suddenly burst into the joint, clad in leather, denim and shark-tooth accessories, and, on his biceps, a very vivid tattoo of a hammerhead shark.
"Hey, DNA!" he roared. "That aquatic mule you sold me has been acting up again - I told you, I want an aquatic horse!"
"Aww, shut it, Brick!" she replied. "I told you, horses are much harder to come by in this world. Just treat that mule with the extra special love I've always told you to show my living Cuddle Buddies, and it'll act the way you want it to."
"Extra special love? Don't make me sick! I know what I'm doing. Now, get out there and coax it out of the botanical garden!"
"Hey, wait a minute!" I called to DNAmy. "You're in league with the Hammerheads?"
"No, I just allocate them my living Cuddle Buddies for their health!" came the sarcastic response.
"Then, you're aware that. . .they're about to destroy this place in around two minutes?" I should've been smarter. I should never have opened my mouth and said those words. But, I couldn't help myself. I'd lost my ability to think straight, and it wasn't coming back. I was still much too shaken from that sneak preview I'd just been given of my destiny. Accident. What accident? Why hadn't Drakken told me?
DNAmy looked at me more suspiciously than ever. I saw her lean over to Brick, and hear her mutter, "Listen Flagg, that girl knows way too much. . .there's something about her that isn't quite right. . .she claims to be a relative of that loser Shego. . ."
"Fine!" growled Brick, as four other thugs, dressed up in similar gear, and sporting a variety of strange weapons and the very same tattoo, appeared on the scene as DNAmy left. He swung his attention round to me, as I still sat there, yet to fully thaw from my frozen state of shock.
"Hey, jerk!" he roared. "I hear you're onto us here!"
He wasn't exactly the most discreet guy in the world. Several people in the joint, in fact really everyone, was looking over, cautiously, at the scene.
"Hey, what are you all looking at? Just keep doing what you were doing and don't look over!" he ordered, while his foursome of henchmen assembled themselves in various positions around the building to ensure that his commands were strictly obeyed. He turned back to me. "Okay, girl, spill the beans - what do you know about the mutation?"
"The mutation?"
"Yeah - where is he?"
"What mutation?" Was he talking about Drakken (though, aside from having blue skin I wouldn't exactly class him as a mutation)? Or one of DNAmy's diabolical creations?
"Don't play dumb with me! You know who I'm talking about - and I know he's around here somewhere! He's green, slime-oozing and he calls himself. . .hey, Ned, what's his name again?"
"He calls himself Gill," a fellow, much more spotty thug with spectacles called back.
"Yeah, that's right - he calls himself Gill! And we're hear to fillet that flounder! He can't hide from us!"
"I. . .I've never met this Gill. . ." It wasn't a lie. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I knew it wouldn't be good for me if I just let myself be cornered for much longer. I had to pull myself together and fight back, no matter how troubled I was feeling right now. All the same, I was puzzled. Where did Drakken come into all of this?
"Well, you knew we were here for him, didn't you?" Brick growled in response. "You know what we're about to do here, don't you? I know that freaking fish has seized hold of that girl with the map to dry land tattooed across her back. . ."
"Oh please, that's just an aquatic urban legend!" Kim Possible interjected from the counter, but she shut up fast when one of the Hammerheads, Ned, pointed his weapon straight at her.
"And I know he was on his way here!" Brick continued, at me. "I was planning to issue a sort of, what d'you call em. . .hey, Ned!"
"Ultimatum," replied Ned, coolly, suddenly turning his attention from Kim.
"That's right, ultimatum! I was about to issue one of those! If that gruesome green piranha doesn't show himself in five seconds, we'd tear this whole place apart to get to him and that girl - but, of course, I can afford to be a little more patient right now, can't I? Seeing as how I now have a piglet can I can make squeal!"
It took a while to click that by piglet he meant me.
"Okay, little piglet!" he proclaimed. "Squeal!"
"Don't call me that!" I growled, now starting to swing back into my normal self-mode, clenching my claws for battle and preparing to fire-up those destructive green rays.
"Well, girl, you'd better start coughing up information, or we'll just have to find ways of talking you talk! You say you're related to Shego, don't you? And you remember what happened to her? Well, brace yourself good, because exactly the same is about to happen to you!"
***
Well, there you have it. Chapter 9. Man, this was a hard chapter to write, so I imagine it was also a hard one to read. Sorry if it got a little too confusing, but if there was any part that you critically did not understand, then let me know in your review and by all means I'll try and explain it. 'Back to the Future II' and 'Waterworld' are famous for being notoriously complex films, and while I don't think that the former film is all that hard to follow, the one time I saw 'Waterworld' I'll admit to being a little bewildered. It just seemed appropriate to include parodies of it in this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it any way, even if it got a little too 'heavy' in parts. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter or, if you're a new reviewer, the story so far, by granting me the odd review. I'd appreciate it.
Well, it took me longer than usual to produce Chapter 9. I'll do my best to get Chapter 10 to you quickly, but right now I'm under a lot of pressure and stress at school, so it might take me a short while. Updating for this story will probably have to slow down over the next few weeks - I'll see if I can get back into my chapter-a-week pace when I have a bit more free time. Until then, be patient, I'll do my best.
Here's a sneak peek at Chapter 10:
The showdown is now on between Shego and Brick Flagg's Hammerheads. And, meanwhile, Shego is still troubled by the rumours of her own future. Until of course she spies the perfect opportunity to improve her life as it is the year 2003, unaware that she may be about to initiate a whole new temporal problem. . .
Thanks for reading, I'll get Chapter 10 to you as quickly as I can.