The shuttle landed on a hill on top of a forest outside the prison facility. D.K., Ness, Fox, and Falco exited the ship and walked to a nearby bluff overlooking the facility.
"This place is more fortified than Fort Knox," said Ness looking through some binoculars.
"What's Fort Knox?" asked D.K.
"It's where gold from the entire U.S. is stored," responded Ness.
"What's gold?" asked Fox.
"It's a yellow shiny… oh forget it. The point is that even if we do get in there, it won't be easy to get out," said Ness.
"Why didn't you say that to begin with?" asked D.K.
"I tried to make an analogy," said Ness.
"A what?" asked a Hyrulian soldier who had accompanied them. Ness turned to him.
"Did you ever go to school and learn English?" asked Ness.
"What's school?" asked the soldier.
"What's English?" asked D.K.
"Just forget it!" exclaimed Ness. A laser blast rocketed out of the facility and struck nearby.
"Way to go Ness," said Falco.
"Shutup all of you," said D.K.
"Okay. Now we're looking at several mounted blaster cannons, several missile launchers, and several mortars. I don't know if the place is shielded or not. Andross was a cakewalk compared to this," said Fox.
"Who's Andross?" asked the soldier. D.K. pointed off into the distance.
"What's that?" he asked. Everyone turned their gaze as D.K. knocked the guard unconscious behind them. The guard fell over with a thump.
"What happened to him?" asked Falco. D.K. produced a bottle.
"Too much drowsy medication," he said. Fox shrugged and looked at the facility.
"Okay, we infiltrate the prison by making the captured soldiers appear to be prisoners and then we locate the others and bust them free," said Fox.
"That's the weakest plan of action I've ever heard," said D.K. Fox turned towards him.
"You have a better idea?" he asked.
"I said it was the weakest, not that I had a better one," said D.K.
"Alright. We'll be winging this entire plan, but hey it's not like we weren't forced upon this situation. Let's move," said Fox. The four of them headed back with D.K. dragging the soldier. The shuttle then took off and headed for the facility.
"Carry me," said Kirby. The five of them had been walking through forests for the past several hours.
"For the last time tubby, no," said Dash. He pulled out his blaster and fried some vines.
"Leebo?" asked Kirby.
"Not a chance," responded the droid. Kirby started fidgeting.
"Uh-oh," he said. The group turned towards him.
"What?" demanded Mewtwo.
"BURRRRP!" Kirby let loose with a gigantic burp that flung everyone several feet away and caused a gem laced knife to embed itself in Leebo. He picked it out after Kirby's belch.
"Where the hell did this come from!" he demanded. Kirby snatched it from him.
"Not a clue," he responded. Kirby took the knife and wandered forward with Yoshi bounding after him causing the others to shake their heads.
"Let's keep moving before things get worse," said Dash. They proceeded onward.
Hyrule Castle, the next morning: Link watched the courtyard from up above with Zelda. Lupus was chasing butterflies around the square while Capt. Falcon was on top of the battlements facing the remains of the LonLon Ranch. Mario was snoozing inside his chambers and BlackWargreymon was meditating on top of the castle itself. Zelda laughed as a man insulted dogs and Lupus went chasing after him firing harmless laser blasts. Capt. Falcon had begun beating on the device he had brought with him.
"You'd better make sure that he's okay," said Zelda. Link nodded and walked towards him. When he reached Falcon, he had a device to his ear as it ran into another device with a radar dish attached to it. Falcon was fiddling with some knobs.
"Come in anyone! I need to contact the F-Zero union. Please come in," said Falcon. He twisted another knob and listened to a handheld device. Instantly he slammed it shut with an expression of shock on his face.
"What was it? Was it enemy plans?" asked Link. Falcon turned to him.
"Worse, much worse. Imagine the most horrible creature in existence and multiply it by a thousand then you'll have what I just heard," said Falcon.
"Ganandorf?" asked Link. Falcon shook his head.
"No, a telemarketer," said Falcon in shock. He shook his head and regained his senses. Link handed him a cup of coffee.
"This is pretty good, is it hand brewed?" asked Falcon. Link shook his head.
"Starbucks," he said pointing to a store below.
"Aaah. Then the saying is true: Wherever you are, you can be sure a Starbucks is nearby," said Falcon nodding his head.
"So, how do you think the teams are doing?" asked Link.
"Fine. I'm sure they're in complete control of the situation," said Falcon.
Prison: "I hate to say this, but we've got no control over this situation," said Ness. They and the soldiers had been holed up in the shuttle after the droids refused to accept any prisoners without proper I.D. Droids had begun taking up positions all around the shuttle with laser cannons armed. Outside, rain and thunder crackled overhead causing the ground to turn into mud.
"I told you the proper code wasn't: How the hell should I know," said Fox.
"Well I didn't know," responded Falco.
"So what do we do?" asked a soldier.
"Why don't we build a campfire, you know sing some songs. I don't know," said Falco. Suddenly a hole opened in the side of the shuttle and they saw several soldiers collecting pieces of burnt wreckage along with a woman and a child. In the background was a temple like object. The hole closed and the wall reappeared.
"Not another dimensional warp," groaned Falco. Ness turned to face them.
"I fear this proves my theory that the barriers between our universe are degrading due to our presence here. The longer we stay, the more likely it will be that every universe will intersect and there will be so much matter that existence will explode," said Ness.
"And the day was going so well too," said Falco.
"Attention occupants of this shuttle. You are ordered to surrender yourself to the custody of the enemy forces," said Ganadorf outside.
"How prompt," Fox said. They looked outside and saw the droids.
"I say we release the 'prisoners' and fire the shuttles weapons at the same moment. During the ensuing panic we'll make our way into the facility and free the prisoners," said Fox.
"Yeah, but how many are there? We'll have to assume that there's more than this shuttle can handle and when the prisoners are executed, the riot will end," said Falco.
"That's why we'll activate our recall codes for the fighters and bring them back here. Then we'll proceed to pick apart this facility and give the prisoners some time to escape," said Fox.
"Works for me," responded Falco.
"Ness, we'll need you to use your psychic powers for extra confusion," said Fox. Ness nodded.
"Alright let's move out," said D.K. The gorilla activated the external comm. system.
"We're releasing the prisoners, prepare for transfer," said Fox.
"Fine, but you're not going anywhere," said Ganandorf.
"Whatever," said Fox. He slammed open the ramp and the prisoners rolled out and onto the mud soaked ground. They looked up frightened at the droids and tried to say something, but their mouths were taped shut and their arms tied behind their backs.
"How come kremlings are among your prisoners?" demanded Ganandorf.
"They revolted and destroyed the comm. station. We barely managed to capture them in time to bring them back here," said Falco.
"Fine. Get them out of here," said Ganandorf. The droids escorted the prisoners away. Then the laser cannons and grenade launchers opened fire on the facility.
"What're you doing?" asked Ganandorf.
"Malfunction at fire controls," said D.K. A shimmering occurred and a snowspeeder zoomed over head and flew back into the warp before it closed.
"Ness you're up," said Fox. Ness summoned his energy and the mud below formed into several creatures. They rumbled around looking for victims.
"It's facial time," said one of them. They used their arms of mud to give facials to all of the prisoners.
"You look absolutely stunning," said one of them.
"You made them spa specialists?" asked Falco.
"Call your ships. What I'm doing ain't easy," said Ness. D.K. ran out of the ship with the soldiers. D.K. let loose with a hail of cannon fire from a phaser cannon as prisoners and troops bolted everywhere to escape while the soldiers used their bows and arrows.
"Head for the prison," said D.K. Explosions rocked the facility as the soldiers, shuttle, and mud creatures destroyed the entire area. The soldiers ran inside and started opening the cages. The prisoners escaped into the hail of laser blasts.
"Get to the shuttle," said D.K. The prisoners ran into the shuttle as more came streaming out.
Castle: Capt. Falcon was sitting on top of one of the Arwings eating a sandwich when it powered up and started to take off. Falcon leapt off as they blasted away. He then looked down to see Lupus eyeing him suspiciously.
"I didn't do anything. Boy, Falco and Fox are going to be pissed," said Capt. Falcon. The ships blasted away.
"You didn't see that," said Capt. Falcon to Lupus. The dog barked.
"What do you want from me?" asked Capt. Falcon. The dog looked at a large building beyond the lowered drawbridge at the remains of LonLon ranch.
"What's in there?" he asked.
"Good food. My scanners told me so. Better than the slop we've been eating lately. You're coming with me to go get it," said Lupus.
"What do we do when we bring it back?" asked Capt. Falcon.
"We keep it for ourselves," said Lupus.
"Why do you want my help?" asked Capt. Falcon. Lupus lifted up one his paws.
"I can't exactly open doors without opposable thumbs. You either help me and profit from it, or you don't and when Fox and Falco return and ask where their ships are, you can be sure that I'll tell them that a certain Capt. Falcon pressed a button and they flew away," said Lupus.
"You don't even have any evidence of that," said Capt. Falcon.
"Your forget about my robotic body. I have images of you sitting atop them and then should I say loose a bit of the image where they flew off, you would be the culprit," said Lupus.
"You wouldn't dare," said Capt. Falcon.
"I'm a dog. I'm not bogged down with a conscience like you are. Let's go," said Lupus. Capt. Falcon walked towards the field when Lupus barked. He spun around to see the creature sitting atop a horseless carriage.
"No horses?" asked Capt. Falcon.
"You're going to pull me along and then pull me and the food back," said Lupus. Capt. Falcon groaned and picked up the front of the cart and headed out into the field.
"Faster horsey! Faster!" exclaimed Lupus.
"Screw you," said Capt. Falcon. A missile leapt out of Lupus' body and exploded nearby.
"No. Screw you. And by the way, that's 'Screw you sir'," said the dog. Capt. Falcon quickened his pace.
"I won't forget this," he grumbled.
"Yeah I love you too. Now let's keep moving we're running behind schedule," said Lupus. Capt. Falcon increased his pace and the cart left the castle unopposed since no one expected someone to be leaving under the current circumstances.
"Here we are," said Dash. The five of them looked down at several warehouses hidden among the trees. Dozens of soldiers and vehicles moved about the facility that was surrounded by several laser fences.
"There's an awful lot of activity for a mere supply depot," said Mewtwo.
"So you noticed that too, it's very odd," said Dash.
"Where's Kirby?" asked Leebo. The powder ball was gone and then Mewtwo located him down by the fence.
"What's he doing?" asked Dash.
"There goes any attack plan," said Leebo.
"I'm tired of this. I want in!" yelled Kirby. Suddenly several cannons emerged from the ground and pointed at him.
"That ain't so good," he said. The guns fired as Kirby ran back into the underbrush and made his way back to the team.
"What were you hoping to accomplish?" asked Dash.
"I found the locations of the laser cannons didn't I?" asked Kirby. Dash shrugged.
"True," he responded. Leebo walked forward.
"Kirby, lead us down there," he said. Kirby led them forward, and then they all tumbled down an embankment and stopped in a heap in front of the field. Several cannons pointed at them.
"Whoops. I knew I should've made that left turn at Albuquerque," said Kirby. Mewtwo stood up and with a swipe of his hand the guns shut down.
"Let's just hope that no one controls them and that they are only automated," he said. Kirby stood up.
"I have no idea what you said but if it works for you it works for me," he said. Mewtwo summoned up his psychic energy and formed a protective bubble around them as they walked through the laser field.
"Leebo, where are the parts?" asked Dash. Leebo held up a scanner.
"This way," he responded. They wandered down past several guard posts and behind several warehouses when the emerged in front of a large curtain.
"There seems to be a large mass of creatures behind that curtain," said Leebo. Suddenly the curtain dropped and they found themselves staring down at a few hundred soldiers.
"Here's you entertainment for today. The Blues Brothers!" exclaimed an announcer. Cheers rose up from the crowd.
"Oh no," said Dash. Kirby meanwhile produced several pairs of sunglasses and suits with hats, shirts, ties, and socks, and shoes.
"Put these on and act natural. Hey everybody, how's it going?" asked Kirby. He wandered forward wearing his Blues Brothers attire. Cheers arose from the audience.
"I'm Kirbwood Blues and I'm glad you could make it to our concert. Now let's put our hands together and put out a steady beat," said Kirby clapping his hands together. Claps emerged from the audience. Kirby walked back to the others with their suits on.
"What the hell are you doing? We can't sing or play instruments," said Dash. Kirby belched up a large stereo system and hooked it up to the sound system off stage.
"Relax, I've got the music right here. Just make it look like your playing the instruments," he said.
"What about singing?" asked Mewtwo.
"You're psychic. Read my mind about the lyrics and put into everyone else's minds. Leebo, just try and appear to be singing," said Kirby. Kirby leapt forward.
"Oh I'm a soul man," he started singing. The audience roared in enjoyment and Dash, Mewtwo, Leebo, and Yoshi all burst in singing also. The audience cheered as the 'brothers' busted out the words to the song. The singing helped relieve the group of the stress that was upon them to complete their task. Kirby ended it by sliding forward with his feet back.
"I'm a soul man!" he completed. Then the music stopped and Yoshi flicked out his tongue stopping the C.D. player from continuing on. The audience clapped with delight and started chanting for more. Kirby was about to comply when Bowser stormed onstage and grabbed the mic.
"Shutup you rotten infested maggots. They won't sing anymore. I got you your entertainment now get back to work," said Bowser. The crowd reluctantly broke up. Bowser turned to face them.
"I'll pay you once your identities have been determined," said Bowser. Kirby gulped but stood up.
"How about through song," he said.
"What?" demanded Bowser. Kirby spun around at a blinding speed and when he stopped he was wearing black leather and some gold chains. He clicked a button on the remote.
"I'm K.B. Hammer. Hear me roar," he began. Kirby than began rapping.
"Hey eh! Can't touch this. Do Do Doo Do doo Hey eh! Can't touch this," he began. He spun around again. This time he was decked out in a fifties leather jacket.
"Go grease lighting!" he exclaimed. He then spun around again and was wearing a decked out outfit.
"I feel good! Dun nuh nuh nuh nuh," he began again. Kirby spun around once more. He was wearing a suit with a tie.
"Hit the road jack and don't you come back no more no more no more," he said. He then spun around one last time back in his blue brothers outfit.
"Only Kirbwood Blues could have done that," he said. Bowser held his head.
"Fine. But I've got my eye on you," he said.
"He have only one eye then," said Yoshi. Bowser growled at Yoshi, not recognizing him and stomped off. Kirby grabbed a guitar and microphone.
"Let's find those parts before grumpy comes back," he said. Yoshi picked up a saxophone and began experimentally trying it out. Dash grabbed a trumpet, Mewtwo a harmonica, and Leebo his scanner.
"This way," he said. They left the stage and headed off towards more warehouses.
"These warehouses are place in a peculiar arrow formation," said Leebo looking at the scanner. Kirby grabbed it from him.
"Reveal your secrets to me oh wondrous device of mystery," said Kirby. Dash snatched it from him.
"Hey," protested Kirby. Dash gave him a warning glance and looked at it before handing it back to Leebo.
"Can't help you there," he said.
"Here's the warehouse. It appears to be at the end of the others," said Leebo. They discovered the warehouse and Dash was about to blow it open when Mewtwo stopped him.
"They just need some psychic elbow grease," he said. Mewtwo closed his eyes and concentrated. A moment later a small door on the side opened and they entered inside to reveal parts for various machines. Kirby handed them pictures of the various devices they needed.
"Can you carry all this? They're pretty big," said Dash to Mewtwo after all the devices were piled in the center of the room.
"Size matters not, the only difference is in your mind," said Mewtwo. Suddenly one of the walls fluctuated and a swamp appeared. In it, a small creature with pointed ears was talking to a larger human. The human walked off and then a craft rose from the water towards the land before the image stopped and the wall reappeared.
"This day keeps getting stranger," said Kirby.
"That looked like Luke to me," said Dash.
"Who?" Yoshi asked. Dash turned to face him.
"Luke Skywalker was a person I once helped out," responded Dash.
"Who cares? Let's just let Mewtwo take Leebo and the parts back to the Outrider so we can get out of here," said Kirby. Dash nodded his head.
"Right. Mewtwo," said Dash. Mewtwo summoned up his energy and lifted up the parts along with Leebo. He then used his powers to shrink down the parts and leapt into the sky. He then flew through the door with a floating Leebo and parts trailing behind.
"Let's move before the soldiers discover the parts missing," said Dash. The team barely managed to escape and hide behind the warehouse. Dash peered in as Bowser instructed his men to find out what parts were missing. Dash chuckled. Kirby started tapping on his shoulder.
"Dash," he said. Dash brushed off his hand.
"Not now," responded Dash. Kirby kept tapping.
"Dash it's important," said Kirby. Bowser began ranting when the soldiers came back with nothing as missing. Dash kept laughing. Kirby sighed. He then leapt up and twisted Dash around.
"This had better be important creampu…," began Dash when he saw what was behind the warehouse. A massive Imperial Star Destroyer control tower stuck out of the ground even though it was at least several miles away.
"Wow. Kirby, I'm sorry," he said. Kirby shrugged.
"At least no physical damage became of it. What is it?" asked Kirby.
"I hope it isn't what I thing it is. That thing looks like the command section of an Imperial Super Star Destroyer. I pray it isn't but I can't tell," said Dash. Dash headed for it when Kirby stopped him.
"They'd spot you before you where halfway there," he said.
"You're right," said Dash. He and Kirby thought about what to do while Yoshi was sniffing the ground. He then slammed his foot down and then the ground opened up and swallowed the three of them. They fell through and the opening on the ground closed up behind them.
LonLon Ranch: Capt. Falcon stopped the cart inside the destroyed main ranch of the place panting and wheezing. Lupus hopped off and landed on him slamming the tired F-Zero pilot to the ground.
"You're pitiful. I could've done the job faster myself," he said. Capt. Falcon stood up.
"It would've gone easier if you hadn't found that whip," he said. Lupus shrugged.
"At the rate you were going it would've taken two weeks to get there. This way we get the food and return before anyone notices that we were gone," said Lupus.
"Where's this food depot?" he asked. Lupus pointed to a nearby building.
"That one," he said bounding out for it. Capt. Falcon rubbed his back before walking after him. When he got there, Lupus was looking over the door.
"Open sesame," said Lupus. Capt. Falcon pushed open the door. Lupus bounded inside to the darkened room. An instant later light flooded the building as Lupus turned on his built in lamps. Capt. Falcon licked his lips as he saw slabs of meat and milk all over the room.
"How old is it?" he asked. Lupus scanned the food and drink.
"Not old enough that even I won't eat it," he said. Capt. Falcon popped a crate open and took out one its occupants, a wine bottle. He then opened the bottle and drank some of it.
"That's some good stuff," he said wiping his lips.
"Don't drink all of it, we've got to load this stuff on the cart," he said. Capt. Falcon nodded and the two of them began loading everything onto the crate. A half hour they were done.
"Let's go back. I'll be easy on the whip this time," said Lupus.
"You'd better and by the way, I want all of your surveillance of me on top of that Arwing," he said. Lupus barked.
"Fine," responded the dog. Capt. Falcon picked up the front of the cart and began moving back towards the castle.
Prison: D.K. burst into a large room with his blaster drawn. Dozens of Hyrulians cowered in fear.
"Relax. Head out of this place and you'll see a shuttle. Try and fine a place on it. We'll be leaving soon," said D.K. He looked through the map and discovered one last place where prisoners were held. He walked back out to the soldiers.
"Let's move out," he said. His comm. device started beeping.
"This is Fox. How much longer D.K.?" a voice asked. D.K. took the device and held it up to his mouth.
"One last room and that's it," he said.
"Good because we've detected a wave of fighters inbound and we'd rather not have to worry about an escort mission," said Falco. D.K. chuckled.
"I hear you," he said. D.K. ran down a few more corridors with his troops. Right at a junction, Ganandorf stood there with his sword drawn.
"Go and find the civilians then get out," said D.K. to the troops.
"What about you?" a soldier asked.
"I'll be fine now go," he said. The troops nodded and headed out.
"So you're the leader of these rebels. Don't worry, they'll soon be eradicated," said Ganandorf.
"I doubt it. The tighter you squeeze your grip, the more will slip through your fingers," said D.K. He looked and saw the wall start to shimmer. Ganandorf noticed it too.
What the…," he began. D.K. tackled him and the two slipped through the warp and landed in a heap on a strange surface. An old man, a young woman, and a man in a dark mask stared at them.
"Ummm," said Darth Vader.
"Was this supposed to happen?" asked Tarkin.
"I knew I sensed a disturbance in the force," said Vader.
"Oh shutup. I'm leaving," said Princess Leia. She walked into a turbolift and it closed behind her.
"Get the hell off my station," said Tarkin. D.K. and Ganandorf stood up and walked back through the warp as it closed behind them.
"I didn't see that or you," said D.K.
"Right," said Ganandorf running off. D.K. ran towards the exit and accompanied the troops and the remaining civilians into the shuttle. As soon as the boarded, the mud monsters disappeared. D.K. made his way through the civilians and hopped into the pilot's chair in the cockpit as shapes appeared in the distance.
"Go, go, go," said Ness. The shuttle leapt into the air and flew off.
"This is going to be close," said Fox as his Arwing took up a flanking position next to the shuttle. Several Tie fighters appeared behind the shuttle and opened fire. The Arwings zoomed back to draw off the ties, but more kept coming. D.K. turned to Ness.
"In the back of the shuttle is a twin laser cannon. Go back there, strap in, and give us some cover because our shields will not withstand their pounding for much longer," said D.K. Ness nodded he squirmed his way to the back and hopped in the gunners chair. He switched on the guns, aimed them, squeezed the trigger and nothing happened.
"D.K. something's wrong. It won't fire," said Ness over the comm.
"Kid the safety's on. There should be a red button flashing, press it," said D.K. Ness looked and pressed it. The laser cannon suddenly opened fire. The tie fighters zoomed out of the way.
"Way to go Ness," said D.K. over the comm.
"Yeah, yeah," said Ness. He re-aimed the cannon and blasted a tie.
"Keep up the good work," said D.K. A red light accompanied by a blaring alarm sounded.
"What's going on back there?" asked D.K. Ness watched a flaming red object head for them.
"We've got a missile incoming!" he yelled.
"Get the everyone out of the back and pray the shielding holds," said D.K. Ness unhooked himself from the turret and started herding people to the front. He got everyone in the forward cabin when D.K. yelled over the comm.
"Incoming!" Everyone grabbed hold of something as the whole ship rocked forward and then the rear caught on fire. D.K. did his best to barely keep the ship from crashing. He watched as a human slammed down next to him.
"I'm Snake Plisken and what the hell's going on," he demanded. D.K. saw the image behind him and pointed his finger. Snake looked and nodded.
"Thanks and I won't ask any questions," he said. Snake leapt through the image as it shutoff.
"And the day went on," said D.K. The damaged shuttle flew on towards the castle with the two Arwings. The opposing forces decided to cut their losses and flew off.
"Ouch," said Dash. Dash sat up and looked at a gigantic hollowed out cave. Only it wasn't a cave, it was the hollowed out interior on a super star destroyer. There was a single turbolift chamber stretching from the front of the ship to the back. In the back was engineering the engine, and the upper levels on the tower, which weren't visible and near the front was a small hanger bay with some fighters and shuttles. Dash tapped Yoshi and Kirby.
"Wake up," he said. Kirby and Yoshi sat up and looked at their surroundings. Kirby then slapped Yoshi upside the head.
"Way to go nimrod," said Kirby. Yoshi gave Kirby and eye poke but Kirby deflected it.
"If you stooges are done we'll try and access the turbolift," said Dash. They started walking towards a turbolift entrance when the whole ship started rumbling.
"We're taking off," said Kirby.
"Yeah but where're we going?" asked Dash. Yoshi looked up.
"The castle," he said.
Bridge: The star destroyer uprooted itself from the ground and flew off. Ganandorf was on the bridge along with Bowser and the shadowy figure.
"Now is the day that we control everything and nothing can stop us," said the figure pulling back his hood.
"It's time for the Hyrulians to die," said Mr. Game & Watch laughing along with everyone else on the bridge. The super star destroyer moved on towards the castle.