Disclaimer: *sigh* Do I hafta? Fine! No, I don't own ANYTHING because I am
lame and J.K. Rowling is God. Er...maybe not that far, but she's pretty
damn cool. Oh! And the first sentence solely belongs to J.K.R., it's a
quote from the fifth book.
Summary: Harry has a secret ass hole, Draco is pregnant (Ron's the father), Snape's in a thong and Hermione disappeared! Slash! Ron/Harry/Draco and Snape/Dumbledore (yes, we are psycho). R/R!
Rating: PG-13 because we like to think we're not wrong enough to be writing rated R.
Warnings: Slashy, dangerously slashy, the ruler of shlashdom. Mwahahaha! Don't like? Don't read. That simple.
Spoilers: None, really. Maybe for the first movie, but you can't really tell.
Flames will be used to set Emma Watson's hair on fire, so flame away!
Also, we make fun of just about every character, so don't be offended if yours is.
~*~
You Know You're High on Oxygen When...
Chapter 03: The Letter from the Secret Ass Hole
Harry and Ron were in the boy's dormitory minding (or should we say doing?) there own business when Neville came in, screaming and shouting like a wild llama choking on a banana. Then he looked down at Harry and Ron, in the bed, wearing nothing.
"Good God, nobody wants to see that!" Neville exclaimed. They both got up, each wrapping a blanket around themselves, which made them look like they were wearing red sleeveless dresses.
"I look damn sexy!" shouted Harry.
"What is it Neville?" Ron asked.
"Er.... Fuck I forgot!" screamed Neville like a little girl in pigtails, dancing on a tuna. And then he left.
"How rude, interrupting us like that!" said Harry, and they went back to their 'dirty business'.
A rattling was heard at the window and Hedwig flew in, dropping a letter on Ron's ass. Ron picked it up and read it aloud.
Dear Harry,
I love you so much you sexy bitch. Your messy hair, your dorky glasses, your bad breath, they make me do something I am not at the liberty to talk about. See you in potions my darling Cuddle-puff.
Love,
Your secret ass-hole
"I have a secret ass-hole?" Harry asked in amazement. Then he began to excitedly search his body for it.
"I can't find it!" he pouted, Ron smacked him across the head.
"You idiot! Not a real ass-hole! Just some one who wants to fuck you!" he exclaimed. Harry blinked stupidly.
"Bet it was Snape.... or Malfoy..." he continued. More blinking from Harry.
"Will you stop that?!" Ron yelled.
"Only if you let me barrow your Orange! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Harry giggled, still blinking.
Ron cried. "No! Not Mr. Tinkly! After all we've been through!"
"Give it to me Ron!" Harry yelled. "Er... not that way" he added after Ron raised an eye brow with Harry still blinking.
Ron reluctantly handed over the orange. Harry attached it.
"Woo-hoo! I have two oranges now! Weeeee!" Harry began to run around, as a censor block covered his area.
"I didn't give it to you! I let you borrow it!" Ron screamed, but his voice was drowned out by Harry's whoops of excitement.
"Herman has a brother!" Harry smiled.
"And Ron needs Herman's brother!" They wrestled for Mr. Tinkly and Ron won.
"Pooh! I always lose!" Pouted Harry.
Right when he said this, the door creaked open...
~*~
END OF CHAPTER
~*~
TUHPT: Hey! I wanted Mr. Tinkly! *goes off and pouts*
Harry: Ron! Why did you have to go and take it back for?!
Ron: Ask the Authress!
TUHPT: MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Summary: Harry has a secret ass hole, Draco is pregnant (Ron's the father), Snape's in a thong and Hermione disappeared! Slash! Ron/Harry/Draco and Snape/Dumbledore (yes, we are psycho). R/R!
Rating: PG-13 because we like to think we're not wrong enough to be writing rated R.
Warnings: Slashy, dangerously slashy, the ruler of shlashdom. Mwahahaha! Don't like? Don't read. That simple.
Spoilers: None, really. Maybe for the first movie, but you can't really tell.
Flames will be used to set Emma Watson's hair on fire, so flame away!
Also, we make fun of just about every character, so don't be offended if yours is.
~*~
You Know You're High on Oxygen When...
Chapter 03: The Letter from the Secret Ass Hole
Harry and Ron were in the boy's dormitory minding (or should we say doing?) there own business when Neville came in, screaming and shouting like a wild llama choking on a banana. Then he looked down at Harry and Ron, in the bed, wearing nothing.
"Good God, nobody wants to see that!" Neville exclaimed. They both got up, each wrapping a blanket around themselves, which made them look like they were wearing red sleeveless dresses.
"I look damn sexy!" shouted Harry.
"What is it Neville?" Ron asked.
"Er.... Fuck I forgot!" screamed Neville like a little girl in pigtails, dancing on a tuna. And then he left.
"How rude, interrupting us like that!" said Harry, and they went back to their 'dirty business'.
A rattling was heard at the window and Hedwig flew in, dropping a letter on Ron's ass. Ron picked it up and read it aloud.
Dear Harry,
I love you so much you sexy bitch. Your messy hair, your dorky glasses, your bad breath, they make me do something I am not at the liberty to talk about. See you in potions my darling Cuddle-puff.
Love,
Your secret ass-hole
"I have a secret ass-hole?" Harry asked in amazement. Then he began to excitedly search his body for it.
"I can't find it!" he pouted, Ron smacked him across the head.
"You idiot! Not a real ass-hole! Just some one who wants to fuck you!" he exclaimed. Harry blinked stupidly.
"Bet it was Snape.... or Malfoy..." he continued. More blinking from Harry.
"Will you stop that?!" Ron yelled.
"Only if you let me barrow your Orange! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Harry giggled, still blinking.
Ron cried. "No! Not Mr. Tinkly! After all we've been through!"
"Give it to me Ron!" Harry yelled. "Er... not that way" he added after Ron raised an eye brow with Harry still blinking.
Ron reluctantly handed over the orange. Harry attached it.
"Woo-hoo! I have two oranges now! Weeeee!" Harry began to run around, as a censor block covered his area.
"I didn't give it to you! I let you borrow it!" Ron screamed, but his voice was drowned out by Harry's whoops of excitement.
"Herman has a brother!" Harry smiled.
"And Ron needs Herman's brother!" They wrestled for Mr. Tinkly and Ron won.
"Pooh! I always lose!" Pouted Harry.
Right when he said this, the door creaked open...
~*~
END OF CHAPTER
~*~
TUHPT: Hey! I wanted Mr. Tinkly! *goes off and pouts*
Harry: Ron! Why did you have to go and take it back for?!
Ron: Ask the Authress!
TUHPT: MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!