Disclaimer: *sigh* Do I hafta? Fine! No, I don't own ANYTHING because I am
lame and J.K. Rowling is God. Er...maybe not that far, but she's pretty
damn cool. Oh! And the first sentence solely belongs to J.K.R., it's a
quote from the fifth book.
Summary: Harry has a secret ass hole, Draco is pregnant (Ron's the father), Snape's in a thong and Hermione disappeared! Slash! Ron/Harry/Draco and Snape/Dumbledore (yes, we are psycho). R/R!
Rating: PG-13 because we like to think we're not wrong enough to be writing rated R.
Warnings: Slashy, dangerously slashy, the ruler of shlashdom. Mwahahaha! Don't like? Don't read. That simple.
Spoilers: None, really. Maybe for the first movie, but you can't really tell.
Flames will be used to set Emma Watson's hair on fire, so flame away!
Also, we make fun of just about every character, so don't be offended if yours is.
~*~
You Know You're High on Oxygen When...
Chapter 04: Draco's Surprise
They both watched, in the nude, the door opening, revealing a flushed Draco Malfoy.
"Herman..." He whispered. "How much I miss thee, thou is perfect beyond belief..."
"Oh shut up Malfoy!" Harry giggled. "You're making us embarrassed."
Draco raised an eye brow. "I wasn't talking about you, just Herman."
Yet again Harry pouted, then smiled. "I have a secret Ass Hole!"
Draco looked nervous. "Oh...really?" He stuttered.
"Yeah...but it's not a real Ass Hole, it's just someone who wants to fuck me," He giggled. "I wonder who it is."
He started to wink obviously at Draco. Draco just shook his head.
When Harry started to realize that no one was getting his hint, he cried. "No one understands me!"
And then he ran out of the common room, still clothless.
They heard cheering of the crowd in the common room and then the portrait hole closing.
"What stick went up his ass?" Asked Draco sarcastically after Harry left.
"Not a stick, a house elf, but that's a long story," explained Ron.
They stood there for a while, tapping their feet and glancing at the clock...
"Has the Authoress ran out of Ideas?" called Ron to the ceiling.
*shut-up! I'm thinking...*
Ron: But...
*SHUT UP!!!*
Ron: Can't you at least put some clothes on me before I freeze my ass off?!
*FINE! (sigh)*
Because Ron was about to freeze his ass off, he put on some clothes.
*HAPPY?!*
Ron: NO! My shirt says "Pretty Pretty Princess"!
*Live with it! Anyways...*
Draco began to pace the room and...
Draco: Can I pace like this? (gaily smiles and shakes his hips like a model)
*NO!!!! Anyway...*
Draco: How 'bout this? (does a ghetto pimp walk)
Ron: And I still want out of this shirt!
*Shut up or I'll have to make this a clean fic*
Both: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shuts up*
Now, back to the story which better not have anymore interruptions. Draco paced the room, as if debating whether he should tell his news or not. A tear began to roll down his cheek, and his lip began to quiver.
"What is it Dracy-Poo?" Ron asked with a overly-sympathetic voice.
"Ron..." He began to cry.
"What Draco...?"
"I'm...I'm pregnant."
Ron's face dropped. "It's not mine, is it?" He gulped, Draco nodded.
Ron screamed. "Nooooooo! How can this happen?!"
"I think you know very well how this happened mister," said Draco with a hand on his hip.
"No, not that. I mean well...er...you're a guy...right?" Ron replied.
Draco laughed nervously. "Well..."
"You're not, are you?" said Ron angrily.
Draco shook his head.
"You...you lied," whispered Ron.
"Ron, it's not what you think..." Draco cried.
"You lied!" shouted Ron louder. Draco began to stammer.
"No, no, no. Do not speak, you are dead to me. You said you were a man when you...you lied!" They both started to cry.
"Well, I borrowed Herman from Harry, so-so I thought it would be okay!" sobbed Draco.
Ron: Hey! How could you do this?! I can't be a father!
*Mwahahahaha*
Draco: And I'm a guy! Well...last I checked...
*yet again, mwahahahaha*
Ron: Why?!
*Er... because I said so. HA!*
Draco:*pouts*
Ron: You... you bad bad person!
*Well, you can't do anything about it so nyah (sticks tongue out.)*
Ron: But.....
*MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
Draco: Well...
*MWAHAHAHAHAHA*
Ron: Will you stop that?
* No. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
Ron: But...
*MWAHAHA! Next Chapter!*
Ron: ARGH!!!
~*~
END OF CHAPTER
~*~
TUHPT: And again, MWAHAHAHA! R/R! ^____^
Summary: Harry has a secret ass hole, Draco is pregnant (Ron's the father), Snape's in a thong and Hermione disappeared! Slash! Ron/Harry/Draco and Snape/Dumbledore (yes, we are psycho). R/R!
Rating: PG-13 because we like to think we're not wrong enough to be writing rated R.
Warnings: Slashy, dangerously slashy, the ruler of shlashdom. Mwahahaha! Don't like? Don't read. That simple.
Spoilers: None, really. Maybe for the first movie, but you can't really tell.
Flames will be used to set Emma Watson's hair on fire, so flame away!
Also, we make fun of just about every character, so don't be offended if yours is.
~*~
You Know You're High on Oxygen When...
Chapter 04: Draco's Surprise
They both watched, in the nude, the door opening, revealing a flushed Draco Malfoy.
"Herman..." He whispered. "How much I miss thee, thou is perfect beyond belief..."
"Oh shut up Malfoy!" Harry giggled. "You're making us embarrassed."
Draco raised an eye brow. "I wasn't talking about you, just Herman."
Yet again Harry pouted, then smiled. "I have a secret Ass Hole!"
Draco looked nervous. "Oh...really?" He stuttered.
"Yeah...but it's not a real Ass Hole, it's just someone who wants to fuck me," He giggled. "I wonder who it is."
He started to wink obviously at Draco. Draco just shook his head.
When Harry started to realize that no one was getting his hint, he cried. "No one understands me!"
And then he ran out of the common room, still clothless.
They heard cheering of the crowd in the common room and then the portrait hole closing.
"What stick went up his ass?" Asked Draco sarcastically after Harry left.
"Not a stick, a house elf, but that's a long story," explained Ron.
They stood there for a while, tapping their feet and glancing at the clock...
"Has the Authoress ran out of Ideas?" called Ron to the ceiling.
*shut-up! I'm thinking...*
Ron: But...
*SHUT UP!!!*
Ron: Can't you at least put some clothes on me before I freeze my ass off?!
*FINE! (sigh)*
Because Ron was about to freeze his ass off, he put on some clothes.
*HAPPY?!*
Ron: NO! My shirt says "Pretty Pretty Princess"!
*Live with it! Anyways...*
Draco began to pace the room and...
Draco: Can I pace like this? (gaily smiles and shakes his hips like a model)
*NO!!!! Anyway...*
Draco: How 'bout this? (does a ghetto pimp walk)
Ron: And I still want out of this shirt!
*Shut up or I'll have to make this a clean fic*
Both: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shuts up*
Now, back to the story which better not have anymore interruptions. Draco paced the room, as if debating whether he should tell his news or not. A tear began to roll down his cheek, and his lip began to quiver.
"What is it Dracy-Poo?" Ron asked with a overly-sympathetic voice.
"Ron..." He began to cry.
"What Draco...?"
"I'm...I'm pregnant."
Ron's face dropped. "It's not mine, is it?" He gulped, Draco nodded.
Ron screamed. "Nooooooo! How can this happen?!"
"I think you know very well how this happened mister," said Draco with a hand on his hip.
"No, not that. I mean well...er...you're a guy...right?" Ron replied.
Draco laughed nervously. "Well..."
"You're not, are you?" said Ron angrily.
Draco shook his head.
"You...you lied," whispered Ron.
"Ron, it's not what you think..." Draco cried.
"You lied!" shouted Ron louder. Draco began to stammer.
"No, no, no. Do not speak, you are dead to me. You said you were a man when you...you lied!" They both started to cry.
"Well, I borrowed Herman from Harry, so-so I thought it would be okay!" sobbed Draco.
Ron: Hey! How could you do this?! I can't be a father!
*Mwahahahaha*
Draco: And I'm a guy! Well...last I checked...
*yet again, mwahahahaha*
Ron: Why?!
*Er... because I said so. HA!*
Draco:*pouts*
Ron: You... you bad bad person!
*Well, you can't do anything about it so nyah (sticks tongue out.)*
Ron: But.....
*MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
Draco: Well...
*MWAHAHAHAHAHA*
Ron: Will you stop that?
* No. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
Ron: But...
*MWAHAHA! Next Chapter!*
Ron: ARGH!!!
~*~
END OF CHAPTER
~*~
TUHPT: And again, MWAHAHAHA! R/R! ^____^