A/N R/J fans, sorry, but I won't be writing about Rory and Jess (although it will be revealed what happened to the two kids later in the tale). If you're after a Freaky Friday involving R/J I suggest Jory and Ress by jesslover.
Chapter 3
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Jess, or rather Luke, was looking rather like a cornered animal. He was trapped, crouched between the spilt coffee on the floor and the solid barrier of the bench. His eyes were fiercely avoiding her gaze as he debated over whether her guess had stemmed from her knowledge of his predicament, or merely from the typically twisted Gilmore sense of humor.
Slowly, very slowly, Lorelai took a single step over the mess and kneeled down beside him. He glared sideways at her, still not daring to look into her face, keeping his hands busy by picking up the larger chunks of broken glass.
"Hi Luke." She said gently, knowing full well how he must feel. Little did he realize it, but she was experiencing a similar problem that day.
"You think I'm Luke?" He kept his eyes on the task at hand. Not letting on in the tone of his voice that he was testing her, seeing how much she really knew.
"You're asking me?"
"Yes, I'm asking you." He was getting angry again.
"I don't doubt it for a second."
Luke fell back onto the floor and slumped against the counter for support. "Ha!" He smiled at her gratefully. "Th-thank God you noticed Rory. I-I was going out of my mind."
Being the little practical joker that she was, Lorelai was sorely tempted to let him continue thinking she was Rory. However, seeing his hands shaking like an electric toothbrush put an end to such childish thoughts. "Luke, its me, Lorelai."
"If you're jerking me around Rory this is not funn-"
"Damn straight it's not funny bucko! I wake up this morning in my daughter's body and both she and MY body are gone? Oh yeah, I was laughing all the way to the diner!"
Luke was silent for a moment. "The same thing happened to me, but I couldn't leave the diner to find Jess."
Lorelai reached for a plastic bag under the counter and began to put the remains of the coffee pot into a plastic bag. Luke was smiling freely now, greatly relieved that he had someone to confide to. Lorelai smiled in return, not from relief, but with the realization that being in Jess's body had made his face more readable, and his actions more expressive. It was the first of many times that day that she would wonder how Jess managed to keep his own emotions so well masked.
"How did you know it was me?" He asked her.
"Oh I could go on for ages. Basically, it boils down to too much 'Murder She Wrote' on weekends. Hey maybe this is my punishment?"
"I should have known it was you, appearances can be deceiving can't they?"
Lorelai tied up the plastic bag. "Rory and I may be a lot alike, but this is ridiculous. Oh no! We have to ring Chilton! I absolutely refuse to go there today in Rory's stead!" Lorelai jumped up from the floor scaring a couple of customers who had just arrived at the counter. "Sorry."
"Fine." Luke popped up beside her, giving the townsfolk something to gawk at over their morning coffees. "Ring them and tell them you're sick."
"What kind of kid were YOU? Sick people don't ring in sick! Especially people who aren't really sick. You talk to them! Pretend you're my Dad."
"Oh yeah! The constant change in the pitch in my voice will really convince them that I'm beyond puberty."
"Well what are you going to tell Jess's school?"
"Are you kidding? That kid doesn't even go to school. They won't miss him if he skips another day."
"Unfair."
"Here." Luke refilled a new mug with more coffee.
"You should have some too Luke."
"Why? You think we should commit suicide? It'll take too long this way."
"I'm thinking that coffee is a magic potion. Seven cups might change everything back to normal."
"You know I don't drink that stuff."
"Ahhhh. But you're in Jess's body now. Jess's body will suffer the consequences for drinking the substance, while you just get to enjoy the immediate side effects."
"Meanwhile, you're poisoning Rory's body without her permission."
"She said 'yes'."
"How the hell do you know?"
"Her tummy just grumbled." Lorelai patted her stomach fondly.
"Kirk!" Luke's eyes lit up. "He's just weird enough to ring Chilton for us for a few bucks!"
"Are you nuts? I'm not letting him talk to the headmaster. They'll expel Rory for sure!"
"If we don't do something soon, the headmaster might ring your mother instead. They're good buddies, right?"
"Okay, you've convinced me, but we're making Kirk some flash cards first!"
Bribing Kirk was easier said than done. Luke had to overcome Kirk's suspicion of him first. For he, like everyone else in the town, believed that Jess was a ticking time bomb and should be avoided at all costs.
"Why don't you just tell him that you have his cat. He'll cooperate then." Lorelai whispered in frustration. Luke just glared at her.
They made Kirk practice a few times using the cards until Lorelai was satisfied. The phone call was successful enough to allay Lorelai's fears and Kirk was rewarded with a large sundae, even if it was still ten in the morning.
"What do we do now?" Luke asked as he and Lorelai sat quietly in the gazebo. He had left Caesar in charge of the diner, an easy task to accomplish as he now had the excuse of going to school.
"We wait." Lorelai sat back. Apart from repeatedly calling home and Rory's mobile, she had run out of ideas.
"What if we don't change back?"
"Hey! Don't freak out on me here! If I've learnt anything from TV, it's that we will change back…eventually…I think…don't quote me on it."
"I'm still underage - I'll lose my diner. They'll send me to Liz!"
"Snap out of it man!" Lorelai gave him an uneasy smile. She had begun to think along the same lines. "Anyway, you're not the only one with things to lose. If we stay like this, I'll never see Rory again (except if I look in the mirror). I'll be sent to live with Chris, Sherry and GG in an eternity of hell! Or worse yet, I'll be sent to live with my parents!"
Luke chuckled at the irony of Lorelai living with Chris again, then his face suddenly switched to a blank look as a horrifying thought just occurred to him. "We're assuming that Rory and Jess are not out there somewhere in our bodies. What if they are?"
"Rory just disappeared! I would have seen her this morning if she was still here, or she would have given me a call."
"So we just wait?"
"Let's just pretend that this is temporary."
"Yeah right."
"Did you ever skip school?"
"A couple of times."
"Pretend we're doing that."
"Oh, okay."
They sat quietly for a moment, trying to push down the panic they were feeling. When Lorelai had calmed herself down a little, she turned to face Luke again. He was wearing a mischevious look that she thought only Jess could make.
"This is so not funny Luke."
"No. I was just thinking…"
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Don't give me that, you look like Jess after Kirk's trophy went missing. Now spill."
"Well, since I'm in Jess's body-"
"Temporarily!"
"Yeah. Temporarily. Maybe I could sort a few things out."
"Like what?"
"Like make him apologize to Taylor so that he stops pestering me about the kid's pranks."
Lorelai's outlook on the day brightened. She liked Luke's way of thinking. "Not bad. Not a bad idea at all." Only she wasn't thinking about apologizing to Taylor. Her brain was slowly conjuring up a list; One hundred and one ways to humiliate Jess for ensnaring her innocent daughter.
"Crush, kill, destroy." Lorelai murmured.
"I know what you're thinking." Luke broke into her thoughts. "And no! We are not using Jess's body to destroy him!"
"Awwww come on! Just think of the sweet sweet feeling of revenge."
"Come on Lorelai, he's just a kid. I mean, look at me. It's pathetic. I couldn't find a single shirt in his drawers that wasn't black."
"We can get Rory back together with Dean!"
"Don't you think that's Rory's decision?"
"In case you haven't noticed Luke, I am Rory, and what I say goes!"
"Well, I'm Jess, and I say you're not going to meddle with Dean!"
"Ooooooh getting possessive aren't we? I think that body is finally getting to you. Going to manhandle me now?"
"Don't mess with Dean!"
"Why not?"
"Because if you do, I have this strange premonition that I'll be getting a black eye today!"
Lorelai folded her arms across her chest and huffed. "Fine 'Madame Zelda who sees all', we'll be boring."
From across the road, Luke watched as the lunch time crowd trickled in to the diner. At the convenience store, Taylor would be taking over registers from the casual employees for the duration of their break. "I'm gonna go see Taylor."
"Wait! I'm coming! I wanna see his face when you suck up to him, give him flowers and perhaps a kiss on the cheek?"
Luke grimaced, the task he had set himself rated right down there with taking out the garbage.
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TBC
Chapter 3
*********************************************
Jess, or rather Luke, was looking rather like a cornered animal. He was trapped, crouched between the spilt coffee on the floor and the solid barrier of the bench. His eyes were fiercely avoiding her gaze as he debated over whether her guess had stemmed from her knowledge of his predicament, or merely from the typically twisted Gilmore sense of humor.
Slowly, very slowly, Lorelai took a single step over the mess and kneeled down beside him. He glared sideways at her, still not daring to look into her face, keeping his hands busy by picking up the larger chunks of broken glass.
"Hi Luke." She said gently, knowing full well how he must feel. Little did he realize it, but she was experiencing a similar problem that day.
"You think I'm Luke?" He kept his eyes on the task at hand. Not letting on in the tone of his voice that he was testing her, seeing how much she really knew.
"You're asking me?"
"Yes, I'm asking you." He was getting angry again.
"I don't doubt it for a second."
Luke fell back onto the floor and slumped against the counter for support. "Ha!" He smiled at her gratefully. "Th-thank God you noticed Rory. I-I was going out of my mind."
Being the little practical joker that she was, Lorelai was sorely tempted to let him continue thinking she was Rory. However, seeing his hands shaking like an electric toothbrush put an end to such childish thoughts. "Luke, its me, Lorelai."
"If you're jerking me around Rory this is not funn-"
"Damn straight it's not funny bucko! I wake up this morning in my daughter's body and both she and MY body are gone? Oh yeah, I was laughing all the way to the diner!"
Luke was silent for a moment. "The same thing happened to me, but I couldn't leave the diner to find Jess."
Lorelai reached for a plastic bag under the counter and began to put the remains of the coffee pot into a plastic bag. Luke was smiling freely now, greatly relieved that he had someone to confide to. Lorelai smiled in return, not from relief, but with the realization that being in Jess's body had made his face more readable, and his actions more expressive. It was the first of many times that day that she would wonder how Jess managed to keep his own emotions so well masked.
"How did you know it was me?" He asked her.
"Oh I could go on for ages. Basically, it boils down to too much 'Murder She Wrote' on weekends. Hey maybe this is my punishment?"
"I should have known it was you, appearances can be deceiving can't they?"
Lorelai tied up the plastic bag. "Rory and I may be a lot alike, but this is ridiculous. Oh no! We have to ring Chilton! I absolutely refuse to go there today in Rory's stead!" Lorelai jumped up from the floor scaring a couple of customers who had just arrived at the counter. "Sorry."
"Fine." Luke popped up beside her, giving the townsfolk something to gawk at over their morning coffees. "Ring them and tell them you're sick."
"What kind of kid were YOU? Sick people don't ring in sick! Especially people who aren't really sick. You talk to them! Pretend you're my Dad."
"Oh yeah! The constant change in the pitch in my voice will really convince them that I'm beyond puberty."
"Well what are you going to tell Jess's school?"
"Are you kidding? That kid doesn't even go to school. They won't miss him if he skips another day."
"Unfair."
"Here." Luke refilled a new mug with more coffee.
"You should have some too Luke."
"Why? You think we should commit suicide? It'll take too long this way."
"I'm thinking that coffee is a magic potion. Seven cups might change everything back to normal."
"You know I don't drink that stuff."
"Ahhhh. But you're in Jess's body now. Jess's body will suffer the consequences for drinking the substance, while you just get to enjoy the immediate side effects."
"Meanwhile, you're poisoning Rory's body without her permission."
"She said 'yes'."
"How the hell do you know?"
"Her tummy just grumbled." Lorelai patted her stomach fondly.
"Kirk!" Luke's eyes lit up. "He's just weird enough to ring Chilton for us for a few bucks!"
"Are you nuts? I'm not letting him talk to the headmaster. They'll expel Rory for sure!"
"If we don't do something soon, the headmaster might ring your mother instead. They're good buddies, right?"
"Okay, you've convinced me, but we're making Kirk some flash cards first!"
Bribing Kirk was easier said than done. Luke had to overcome Kirk's suspicion of him first. For he, like everyone else in the town, believed that Jess was a ticking time bomb and should be avoided at all costs.
"Why don't you just tell him that you have his cat. He'll cooperate then." Lorelai whispered in frustration. Luke just glared at her.
They made Kirk practice a few times using the cards until Lorelai was satisfied. The phone call was successful enough to allay Lorelai's fears and Kirk was rewarded with a large sundae, even if it was still ten in the morning.
"What do we do now?" Luke asked as he and Lorelai sat quietly in the gazebo. He had left Caesar in charge of the diner, an easy task to accomplish as he now had the excuse of going to school.
"We wait." Lorelai sat back. Apart from repeatedly calling home and Rory's mobile, she had run out of ideas.
"What if we don't change back?"
"Hey! Don't freak out on me here! If I've learnt anything from TV, it's that we will change back…eventually…I think…don't quote me on it."
"I'm still underage - I'll lose my diner. They'll send me to Liz!"
"Snap out of it man!" Lorelai gave him an uneasy smile. She had begun to think along the same lines. "Anyway, you're not the only one with things to lose. If we stay like this, I'll never see Rory again (except if I look in the mirror). I'll be sent to live with Chris, Sherry and GG in an eternity of hell! Or worse yet, I'll be sent to live with my parents!"
Luke chuckled at the irony of Lorelai living with Chris again, then his face suddenly switched to a blank look as a horrifying thought just occurred to him. "We're assuming that Rory and Jess are not out there somewhere in our bodies. What if they are?"
"Rory just disappeared! I would have seen her this morning if she was still here, or she would have given me a call."
"So we just wait?"
"Let's just pretend that this is temporary."
"Yeah right."
"Did you ever skip school?"
"A couple of times."
"Pretend we're doing that."
"Oh, okay."
They sat quietly for a moment, trying to push down the panic they were feeling. When Lorelai had calmed herself down a little, she turned to face Luke again. He was wearing a mischevious look that she thought only Jess could make.
"This is so not funny Luke."
"No. I was just thinking…"
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Don't give me that, you look like Jess after Kirk's trophy went missing. Now spill."
"Well, since I'm in Jess's body-"
"Temporarily!"
"Yeah. Temporarily. Maybe I could sort a few things out."
"Like what?"
"Like make him apologize to Taylor so that he stops pestering me about the kid's pranks."
Lorelai's outlook on the day brightened. She liked Luke's way of thinking. "Not bad. Not a bad idea at all." Only she wasn't thinking about apologizing to Taylor. Her brain was slowly conjuring up a list; One hundred and one ways to humiliate Jess for ensnaring her innocent daughter.
"Crush, kill, destroy." Lorelai murmured.
"I know what you're thinking." Luke broke into her thoughts. "And no! We are not using Jess's body to destroy him!"
"Awwww come on! Just think of the sweet sweet feeling of revenge."
"Come on Lorelai, he's just a kid. I mean, look at me. It's pathetic. I couldn't find a single shirt in his drawers that wasn't black."
"We can get Rory back together with Dean!"
"Don't you think that's Rory's decision?"
"In case you haven't noticed Luke, I am Rory, and what I say goes!"
"Well, I'm Jess, and I say you're not going to meddle with Dean!"
"Ooooooh getting possessive aren't we? I think that body is finally getting to you. Going to manhandle me now?"
"Don't mess with Dean!"
"Why not?"
"Because if you do, I have this strange premonition that I'll be getting a black eye today!"
Lorelai folded her arms across her chest and huffed. "Fine 'Madame Zelda who sees all', we'll be boring."
From across the road, Luke watched as the lunch time crowd trickled in to the diner. At the convenience store, Taylor would be taking over registers from the casual employees for the duration of their break. "I'm gonna go see Taylor."
"Wait! I'm coming! I wanna see his face when you suck up to him, give him flowers and perhaps a kiss on the cheek?"
Luke grimaced, the task he had set himself rated right down there with taking out the garbage.
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TBC