One day, as usual in the Slayers World L-sama was bored. (How's that for Cliche?) and decided she needed entertaining.
She got a kawaii little purple dragon to fly to the desert of destruction where the higher mazoku, survivng dark lords and conviently revived just for the purpose of this fic Dark Lords were residing together under one roof.
The kawaii purple dragon had a mission. Okay, not a mission, a message to deliever to them. He was to tell them that the dragons of the karaat mountains had a holy weapon of unimaginable destructive power, known as the materia of Alexander. AND that they had some sort of other weapon, refered to only as Ruby. (not to be confused with Ruby-eye)
The kawaii purple dragon nearly reached its destination, when he got knocked out of the air by a wooden stick, or whatever, he wasn't really looking where he was going. And the kawaii purple dragon got eaten by the kawaii purple haired mazoku prowling around.
(Xelloss fans may stand up and cheer at this point ^_^!!!)
But, paper doesn't really appeal to the Mazoku pallet. (nor does Kawaii purple dragon AKA KPD, but anyways...) so the message got saved. Tossing the remains of the KPD to one side, Xelloss disappeared into the shared house they had, better known in cliche terms as 'the mazoku's base' or 'secret hideout'.
He taped it to a lollypop, and pressed his ear to one of the doors.
Snoring. Good. Under the door went the lolly and message.
Running the other way went the immature Mazoku.
Well, the hellbra... I mean Hellmaster was none too happy and called a meeting in the war room. Ducking and diving between missiles and gunfire. The mazoku had an odd Idea of what a 'war room' actually was.
"WHO DARED GIVE ME THIS?!" He yelled standing on the table to try and look tall, waving the lolly around in the air. "WHO DARED?!"
The Mazoku looked among eachother accusingly.
Fibby *Shrieking and stamping on the table* I HATE RASPBERRY! I hate it! I hate it! Icky!
Once Fibbrizzo had been pacified by replacement of the offending raspberry lolly, which Xelloss was forced to eat, which he did so with little hesitation, they turned their attention to what was going on.
FIbby Now listen, the stakes are tremendous here.
Gaav You are joking maggot? I haven't had any decent food for ages around here
Dolphin Stakes?! But we're not vampires!
Fibby SHUT UP OR I'll FLICK MY CLINGERS!
All Flick your Clingers? *Snickers*
Fibby began clicking his fingers. Or rather flicking his clingers. Before he knew it the whole room were humming the theme to the addams family.
Shabranigdu (AKA Shabby) Enough! Dolphin, stop building robots on the table. Fibby, quit whining. Zelas, put that fag out, and I DON'T MEAN XELLOSS! Dynast, stop being so boring. Gaav, stop looking around. Sherra, get out from under the table. I think that covers everyone.
Gaav *looks at shabby in confusion, Sherra sighs in relief and takes the blindfold off* You forgot Valgaav.
Shabby *Sees gaav look at him and keels over*
Dynast Oh my god you killed Shabby!
Fibby You bastard!
Zelas You mean shuu ugry bashtard!
Fibby *pushes Shabby dissolving carcass to one side* Well, how do we set about this?
Gaav I got it!
Fibby Hn?
Gaav Lets use fire!
Fibby Umm..no
Gaav *thinks hard* I got it!
Fibby hn?
Gaav FIRE!
Fibby *starts clinger flicking to addams family again*
Dolphin Lets build a robot, with an obvious weak point. possibly best a glowing red orb of some sort. *looks at Xel*
Xelloss MINE! *he bribes Fibby off with several strawberry lollys*
Fibby Sorry dolphin *Slurp* that just *lick* won't cut it *Sluuuuurp*
Zelas well, they may have this Ruby weapon, but we have shomething they don't
Fibby what?
Zelas *holds up something white* Thong of Kuja!
All *snicker*
Zelash What'sh the matter?
Dynast *looks at the decomposing Shabby* Well, we could use it.
Fibby, Zelas *look at Gaav... very briefly.*
Fibby how do we do it?
Dynast Draw straws?
Zelas Xellossh, put thish on chaosh dragon Gaav.
Xelloss *pretends to die*
Fibby We can't just sit around arguing like this. *sends Sherra out to deal with the problem, the dragons send Sherra back*
Dynast . . .
Fibby Next bright idea people?
Dolphin is wearing a ridiculous skin tight suit, black on the legs and red on the top. She tops off the outfit with a HUGE orange moustache and hideous russian accent. She is also eating an egg sandwich
Dolphin Behold my latest most marvelous creation, the Gaav 2000! *she points to a pile of matchsticks left over from Zelas* This is the ultimate automated warrior!
Gaav See, she agrees, we should use fire!
Fibby NO FIRE!
Gaav *belches*
Fibby *hair Standing on end*
Dolphin *looking at Fibby's hair* you won't defeat me this time hedgehog!
Fibby *hair stands up even worse*
All *laugh*
Dynast I wasted all that time with hairgel, didn't I?
Valgaav *busy playing cup 'n' ball in one corner* Why don't you sent Xelloss out to annoy them to death?
Fibby Good idea! Xell! Xell! *pokes him with a stick* Stop pretending to be dead and go kill some dragons.
Xelloss Does...it... *twitch* involve....*twitch* putting a thong on.....*twitch* Gaav? *he falls back into a deep unconciousness caused by the trauma bought about by the mental images he'd been having.*
Fibby No dammit. *poke. poke. then raids Xell's pouch for his hidden stash, neatly labelled 'Hellmasters to bribe the sucker'* HEY!!! KIWI FLAVOUR!
Sherra *Also poking Xelloss* Hey I think he needs the kiss of life.
Valgaav *chanting* Sherra loves Xelloss, Sherra loves Xelloss!
Sherra I DO NOT! Anyway I don't know how.
Valgaav But Gaav-sama does.
Gaav If he needs it, then I'll do it.
Dolphin Gaav Loves Xelloss! Gaav loves Xelloss!
Dynast *nudges Fibby and whispers* Now theres a fate i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Fibby *behind a huge red and white swirly wollyop* I agree.
Zelas DON'T KILL HIM! He'sh got my bottle opener!
Xelloss *wakes up and shoots under the melting remains of Shabby*
Valgaav You know he's always wanted an excuse to do that.
Zelashh *Draps herself on Gaav* hey there.
Gaav Well hey! *thinking* I can score!
Zelashhh Did I ever tell you how much I... *Takes a puff from her cigarette* What was i shaying?
Gaav *cough cough*
Zelash *shees his face* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The pain the pain! *she shlides to the floor writhing in agony*
Gaav *Rescues her bottle of redwine from hitting the floor*
Dynast Oh my god, you nearly killed Zelas!
Fibby You hero! Now We'll actually get a look in on the booze!
Sherra how the $#%$^# did she survive if Shabby couldn't?
Dolphin She's wearing my latest invention, the Gaav proof goggles! *she points to a little pile of twisted metal on the floor the other side of the room from Zelas*
Fibby I'd say she's probably lost her vision, partly through drink, and partly through having seen Gaav's face before.
Valgaav How can you be so mean to Gaav-sama? *holds up a Gaav poster*
All except Gaav *beat val into a pulp*
Sherra Dynast-sama, why is Gaav so ugly?
Dynast Well, he is actually a three headed dragon.
Sherra I see the eyebrows, where's the other one?
Fibby try the chin.
Sherra *makes the fatal mistake of looking and dies*
Dynast *Wallops Fibby over the head with a Giant Raspberry lolly*
Dolphin Umm... don't three headed dragons have three butts?
Fibby Hmm.....that would account for the rest of the face.
Gaav *sulking and making friends with Zelas' porta-cellar*
Dynast . . .
Dolphin I have invented a machine that will improve his looks! *holds up a brick*
Fibby Hm?
Dynast Just ram in straight into his face!
Dolphin *goes over to Gaav and starts plaiting his eyebrows in to 2 neat braids*
Fibby A train might work better.
Dynast but we haven't got a train.
Fibby Could use the remains of that huge dragon train
Dynast It'd probably melt before it got to him.
Fibby *nods*
Dolphin There! Isn't that nice! *studies her work proudly* Ahhhhhhhhh! *falls into shock*
Gaav This is not fair. I'm the laughing stock.
Fibby we must stop him
Dynast I have just the thing
Fibby oh?
Dynast *unrolls a poster and points it at gaav*
Gaav *blink blink*
Dynast why isn't it working? *checks to find that he has accidently faced his playgirl Gaav centrefold poster towards himself* Erk! Argh! *starts clawing at his own face* My eyes! Help me, someone!
Fibby *sighs*
Gaav I now know how to kill you Hellmaggit!
Fibby *holds out a mirror* Pleeeease.
Gaav *glares at Fibby, Who holds out the mirror with a grin. Gaav sees his reflection and begins to melt, but not before the mirror smashes into a 1000 pieces exposing fibby to the horror that was now....
Gaav mooning him.
Fibby SHIMATTA! I can't even put together jigsaws with seven pieces...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xelloss *Forgotten about, but once all the Gaav goop had burned a hole in the floor he wiped the shabby liquid off himself and stole everyones shampoo and ran off laughing*
And just so you know, L-sama revived the Kawaii purple dragon out of pity, and turned all the shampoo into real-poo just for the hell of it.
Amazing. 1am - 2am is the most creative time of day! ^_^
She got a kawaii little purple dragon to fly to the desert of destruction where the higher mazoku, survivng dark lords and conviently revived just for the purpose of this fic Dark Lords were residing together under one roof.
The kawaii purple dragon had a mission. Okay, not a mission, a message to deliever to them. He was to tell them that the dragons of the karaat mountains had a holy weapon of unimaginable destructive power, known as the materia of Alexander. AND that they had some sort of other weapon, refered to only as Ruby. (not to be confused with Ruby-eye)
The kawaii purple dragon nearly reached its destination, when he got knocked out of the air by a wooden stick, or whatever, he wasn't really looking where he was going. And the kawaii purple dragon got eaten by the kawaii purple haired mazoku prowling around.
(Xelloss fans may stand up and cheer at this point ^_^!!!)
But, paper doesn't really appeal to the Mazoku pallet. (nor does Kawaii purple dragon AKA KPD, but anyways...) so the message got saved. Tossing the remains of the KPD to one side, Xelloss disappeared into the shared house they had, better known in cliche terms as 'the mazoku's base' or 'secret hideout'.
He taped it to a lollypop, and pressed his ear to one of the doors.
Snoring. Good. Under the door went the lolly and message.
Running the other way went the immature Mazoku.
Well, the hellbra... I mean Hellmaster was none too happy and called a meeting in the war room. Ducking and diving between missiles and gunfire. The mazoku had an odd Idea of what a 'war room' actually was.
"WHO DARED GIVE ME THIS?!" He yelled standing on the table to try and look tall, waving the lolly around in the air. "WHO DARED?!"
The Mazoku looked among eachother accusingly.
Fibby *Shrieking and stamping on the table* I HATE RASPBERRY! I hate it! I hate it! Icky!
Once Fibbrizzo had been pacified by replacement of the offending raspberry lolly, which Xelloss was forced to eat, which he did so with little hesitation, they turned their attention to what was going on.
FIbby Now listen, the stakes are tremendous here.
Gaav You are joking maggot? I haven't had any decent food for ages around here
Dolphin Stakes?! But we're not vampires!
Fibby SHUT UP OR I'll FLICK MY CLINGERS!
All Flick your Clingers? *Snickers*
Fibby began clicking his fingers. Or rather flicking his clingers. Before he knew it the whole room were humming the theme to the addams family.
Shabranigdu (AKA Shabby) Enough! Dolphin, stop building robots on the table. Fibby, quit whining. Zelas, put that fag out, and I DON'T MEAN XELLOSS! Dynast, stop being so boring. Gaav, stop looking around. Sherra, get out from under the table. I think that covers everyone.
Gaav *looks at shabby in confusion, Sherra sighs in relief and takes the blindfold off* You forgot Valgaav.
Shabby *Sees gaav look at him and keels over*
Dynast Oh my god you killed Shabby!
Fibby You bastard!
Zelas You mean shuu ugry bashtard!
Fibby *pushes Shabby dissolving carcass to one side* Well, how do we set about this?
Gaav I got it!
Fibby Hn?
Gaav Lets use fire!
Fibby Umm..no
Gaav *thinks hard* I got it!
Fibby hn?
Gaav FIRE!
Fibby *starts clinger flicking to addams family again*
Dolphin Lets build a robot, with an obvious weak point. possibly best a glowing red orb of some sort. *looks at Xel*
Xelloss MINE! *he bribes Fibby off with several strawberry lollys*
Fibby Sorry dolphin *Slurp* that just *lick* won't cut it *Sluuuuurp*
Zelas well, they may have this Ruby weapon, but we have shomething they don't
Fibby what?
Zelas *holds up something white* Thong of Kuja!
All *snicker*
Zelash What'sh the matter?
Dynast *looks at the decomposing Shabby* Well, we could use it.
Fibby, Zelas *look at Gaav... very briefly.*
Fibby how do we do it?
Dynast Draw straws?
Zelas Xellossh, put thish on chaosh dragon Gaav.
Xelloss *pretends to die*
Fibby We can't just sit around arguing like this. *sends Sherra out to deal with the problem, the dragons send Sherra back*
Dynast . . .
Fibby Next bright idea people?
Dolphin is wearing a ridiculous skin tight suit, black on the legs and red on the top. She tops off the outfit with a HUGE orange moustache and hideous russian accent. She is also eating an egg sandwich
Dolphin Behold my latest most marvelous creation, the Gaav 2000! *she points to a pile of matchsticks left over from Zelas* This is the ultimate automated warrior!
Gaav See, she agrees, we should use fire!
Fibby NO FIRE!
Gaav *belches*
Fibby *hair Standing on end*
Dolphin *looking at Fibby's hair* you won't defeat me this time hedgehog!
Fibby *hair stands up even worse*
All *laugh*
Dynast I wasted all that time with hairgel, didn't I?
Valgaav *busy playing cup 'n' ball in one corner* Why don't you sent Xelloss out to annoy them to death?
Fibby Good idea! Xell! Xell! *pokes him with a stick* Stop pretending to be dead and go kill some dragons.
Xelloss Does...it... *twitch* involve....*twitch* putting a thong on.....*twitch* Gaav? *he falls back into a deep unconciousness caused by the trauma bought about by the mental images he'd been having.*
Fibby No dammit. *poke. poke. then raids Xell's pouch for his hidden stash, neatly labelled 'Hellmasters to bribe the sucker'* HEY!!! KIWI FLAVOUR!
Sherra *Also poking Xelloss* Hey I think he needs the kiss of life.
Valgaav *chanting* Sherra loves Xelloss, Sherra loves Xelloss!
Sherra I DO NOT! Anyway I don't know how.
Valgaav But Gaav-sama does.
Gaav If he needs it, then I'll do it.
Dolphin Gaav Loves Xelloss! Gaav loves Xelloss!
Dynast *nudges Fibby and whispers* Now theres a fate i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Fibby *behind a huge red and white swirly wollyop* I agree.
Zelas DON'T KILL HIM! He'sh got my bottle opener!
Xelloss *wakes up and shoots under the melting remains of Shabby*
Valgaav You know he's always wanted an excuse to do that.
Zelashh *Draps herself on Gaav* hey there.
Gaav Well hey! *thinking* I can score!
Zelashhh Did I ever tell you how much I... *Takes a puff from her cigarette* What was i shaying?
Gaav *cough cough*
Zelash *shees his face* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The pain the pain! *she shlides to the floor writhing in agony*
Gaav *Rescues her bottle of redwine from hitting the floor*
Dynast Oh my god, you nearly killed Zelas!
Fibby You hero! Now We'll actually get a look in on the booze!
Sherra how the $#%$^# did she survive if Shabby couldn't?
Dolphin She's wearing my latest invention, the Gaav proof goggles! *she points to a little pile of twisted metal on the floor the other side of the room from Zelas*
Fibby I'd say she's probably lost her vision, partly through drink, and partly through having seen Gaav's face before.
Valgaav How can you be so mean to Gaav-sama? *holds up a Gaav poster*
All except Gaav *beat val into a pulp*
Sherra Dynast-sama, why is Gaav so ugly?
Dynast Well, he is actually a three headed dragon.
Sherra I see the eyebrows, where's the other one?
Fibby try the chin.
Sherra *makes the fatal mistake of looking and dies*
Dynast *Wallops Fibby over the head with a Giant Raspberry lolly*
Dolphin Umm... don't three headed dragons have three butts?
Fibby Hmm.....that would account for the rest of the face.
Gaav *sulking and making friends with Zelas' porta-cellar*
Dynast . . .
Dolphin I have invented a machine that will improve his looks! *holds up a brick*
Fibby Hm?
Dynast Just ram in straight into his face!
Dolphin *goes over to Gaav and starts plaiting his eyebrows in to 2 neat braids*
Fibby A train might work better.
Dynast but we haven't got a train.
Fibby Could use the remains of that huge dragon train
Dynast It'd probably melt before it got to him.
Fibby *nods*
Dolphin There! Isn't that nice! *studies her work proudly* Ahhhhhhhhh! *falls into shock*
Gaav This is not fair. I'm the laughing stock.
Fibby we must stop him
Dynast I have just the thing
Fibby oh?
Dynast *unrolls a poster and points it at gaav*
Gaav *blink blink*
Dynast why isn't it working? *checks to find that he has accidently faced his playgirl Gaav centrefold poster towards himself* Erk! Argh! *starts clawing at his own face* My eyes! Help me, someone!
Fibby *sighs*
Gaav I now know how to kill you Hellmaggit!
Fibby *holds out a mirror* Pleeeease.
Gaav *glares at Fibby, Who holds out the mirror with a grin. Gaav sees his reflection and begins to melt, but not before the mirror smashes into a 1000 pieces exposing fibby to the horror that was now....
Gaav mooning him.
Fibby SHIMATTA! I can't even put together jigsaws with seven pieces...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xelloss *Forgotten about, but once all the Gaav goop had burned a hole in the floor he wiped the shabby liquid off himself and stole everyones shampoo and ran off laughing*
And just so you know, L-sama revived the Kawaii purple dragon out of pity, and turned all the shampoo into real-poo just for the hell of it.
Amazing. 1am - 2am is the most creative time of day! ^_^