Summary: I'm back! This is the fellowship are in Moria and Gandalf keeps going insane. Let the insanity fly!

Title: Gandalf wants his Mummy IV

Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, I do not own LotR or make money from this story. Do I make myself clear?

A/N - the Fellowship have just arrived in Balin's tomb.

Gimli knelt there by Balin's tomb crying noisily. Gandalf slowly walked up and read the inscription, trying to keep his voice from squeaking. His head ached and he felt as if the world was spinning at 100 miles/h round him. He gave his hat and staff to Pippin then bent down to look at a book that lay beside the tomb. As he lifted it, some of the pages fell out. Opening it he began to read,
"They have taken the Bridge, and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long.
Snapping just as he said the last word, Gandalf began to flip through the pages, looking for pictures.
"Well," Aragorn prompted, "What does the rest say?"
"How thould I know?" Gandalf said angrily to Aragorn in his child's voice, "I can't wead."
Gandalf threw the book across the room at the ranger in a temper and Aragorn only just ducked in time.
"Oh no, not again. Not now." Frodo moaned.
"Pippin quick!" Sam said to his young friend.
Pippin started towards Gandalf but when Gandalf realised what he was doing he grabbed his staff back, and pointed it at Pippin. A flash of blue light erupted from the end of the staff and headed for Pippin who ducked; the light beam then rocketed off a pillar and went flying back towards Pippin. It hit both him and Merry, and, on impact turned a bright pink colour. The fellowship waited with baited breath to see what the spell had done. After two minutes nothing happened, Boromir sighed and shook his head.
"NIGHT FEVER, NIGHT FEVER!" Merry suddenly burst out.
"WE KNOW HOW TO DO IT!" Pippin continued.
They both then continued to sing and also began to dance. They looked absolutely horrified at what they were doing; they obviously had no control over themselves. Legolas moaned and covered his ears. Neither hobbit was singing in tune and they were in different keys that sounded simply awful together.
"Anitarwen! Dance with me baby!" Merry cried out to thin air and then began to dance with the imaginary elephant.
"Abrandythrandy! Would you dance the night away!" Pippin implored to the imaginary cat and also began dancing with it.
"Ai Valar! What has Gandalf done?" Legolas gasped.
"Maybe you'll remember that Abrandythrandy is your imaginary cat." Gimli said smugly.
"Danth you guys!" Gandalf yelled and pointed his staff at the rest of the fellowship.
The blue light issued from it once more and hit the fellowship, turning pink on impact. They all began to dance with Merry, Pippin and Gandalf and sung '70's pop songs. Merry and Pippin suddenly stopped dancing, the spell had worn off them at last. The poor hobbits were exhausted and went to sit on the edge of the well but Gandalf came up to them and began to interrogate them.
"Why awen't you danthing?" He asked angrily.
"Um," Merry began, "We…er, don't know."
"It's too hot to dance," Pippin told Gandalf, "So we got tired."
"You're wight," Gandalf agreed, "It'th too hot down here. And dark. And scawy. I wan' Bubblth."
The Istari's voice had trembled more and more and when he finished the rest of the fellowship gathered round. They had finally stopped dancing. Just then Boromir saw his chance and went for Gandalf but the Istari hit the man over the head with his staff almost knocking him out. When he was hit, Boromir lost his balance and would have fallen head first down the well had it not been for Legolas who grabbed him, just in time to pull him back up.
"If anyone elth twys to hit me," Gandalf lisped angrily, "I'll puth them into the well."
"Gimli," Aragorn said to the dwarf, "You grab his left arm and I'll grab his right and then Legolas can slap him."
The dwarf nodded but as the went forward Gandalf managed to hit him over the head with his staff and at the same time the other end clouted Aragorn on the chin sending over backwards. He then turned to Legolas and punched the staff into the elf's stomach, winding him and sending flying halfway across the room. The hobbits were the only ones left. Merry and Pippin went for him but were smacked out the way and almost fell into the well. Frodo and Sam advanced toward Gandalf who backed away until he was right at the well. Pippin then got up and grabbed the staff; he succeeded in getting it away from Gandalf but at the same time almost pulled him into the well. Frodo and Sam then each grabbed one of Gandalf's hands and pulled him back up. Frodo slapped him and told him to act his age. Gandalf stumbled backwards from the force of the shock and bumped into Pippin who in turn stumbled backwards into a skeleton that lay on the well edge. Clank! Clank! Went the skeleton down the well. "Fool of a Took!" Gandalf scolded, "Next time throw yourself in with your riddles and your stupidity."
"But I-" Pippin began to protest but a look from the rest of the fellowship silenced him. Suddenly 'doom' doom boom' 'doom doom doom'. Drums sounded from the deep.
"Ai Valar, what now." Legolas moaned.
"Out of the frying pan into the fire." Frodo muttered. Sam merely nodded in agreement to his master's statement.

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