BODY-SWAP
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: Raziel, Kain & Nosgoth belong to Eidos Interactive, Crystal Dynamics, Silicon Knights. I, VladimirsAngel, am unfortunately responsible for my own actions in this story.
At the suggestion of the Guardian-of-Tears…we start this time with poor Raz's account of his new situation! Everybody together now: "Awwwww…."
Thankyou all so much for reviewing. For something that started out as a one-off, it's not going too badly! ^_^
The Story so Far: For some reason, VladimirsAngel and Raziel have discovered that when one or both of them sleeps, they literally swap bodies. Raziel decides to try out life at the Angel's office for a day, whereas the Angel, intent on revenge, has returned to Nosgoth…
Part One: Raziel
Sudden heartbeat, and I instantly know what she's done.
I lurch forward off the sick-bed, scattering the blankets. Blood pounds sickeningly in my skull. Gods, why would I ever have missed being alive? Bodies are vile things, really, full of flesh and liquid and bits that go wrong at the slightest provocation…
And this is VladimirsAngel's body. I'll have to speak to her sharply about eating less pizza and having her eyes tested again.
I'm not being cruel here, you understand. She's not overweight, but when you're used to weighing about 80 pounds soaking wet and being able to see your own ribs without breathing in, everything feels overweight.
I hurry back to the unfamiliar office and am startled by the vehemence with which the Angel's body tenses up at the sight of Boss. "Angel," Boss addresses me silkily, "the new temp seems to have wandered off somewhere. Find him, will you? Seeing as you seem to have taken such a shine to him."
I remember just in time that I don't have my claws any more, and resist the natural impulse to bury them in her spine. "Actually," I warble in the Angel's soprano, sarcastic tones, "that's just what I had in mind. I'm sure I'll find her - him! - very soon."
I try to stalk away impressively, and forget about the kitten-heels. It's hard to look like you mean business when you're flailing wildly at the photocopying machine for balance and getting your heel-strap caught in the flare of your slacks.
That does it. I have to get out of this body. Bodies are very strong things, you see, despite my bemoaning the frailty of the mortal condition. Bodies shape your consciousness. If I stay stuck in here too long, the Angel's body is going to turn me into a girl. Even worse, it might turn me into VladimirsAngel.
I repress a shudder, and hurry out of the building to try and get to the nearest warp-gate, which unhappily is back at the Angel's flat across town.
Of course it's only when I'm already sitting on the bus that I realise this body has somehow managed to snag itself a copy of Vogue on its way through the office. Oh, well. I don't suppose it'll do any harm to just read the editorial…
Part Two: VladimirsAngel
"Is it something the guards said to you?" Kain is asking me, a note of desperation creeping into his voice. Bless him. I must admit he's really doing his best. Over the last twenty minutes, he's offered me cups of tea, blankets, Kleenex - all sorts of things, if only I'd please stop crying. Hell, he even offered to let me play with the Soul Reaver a minute ago. I declined, although for some reason Raziel's body nearly went wild at the idea.
I guess little vampires don't cry a lot. Kain doesn't seem to have had much experience with comforting people, but, like I said, he's doing his best.
"Son," says Kain, uncomfortably, "please. This is not dignified."
He sits down on the floor next to the throne (oh yeah. I get to sit in the throne. You'd be surprised what a good bit of guilt-tripping will do for you) and looks across at me mournfully.
"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" he asks, for the tenth time.
Why? Uh...because I haven't worked that out yet…come on, Angel, improvise…
"I really don't feel I can continue with my plan of using you to fulfil my destiny with you in this state," adds Kain, kindly, as if trying to be helpful.
I hold up one set of vicious Raziel-claws for Kain's inspection, my shoulders juddering with forced sobbing.
"Look what you did to me," Raziel's normally masterful tenor croaks in dismay. "You hurled me off the cliffs - you ruined my wings - I was dying in agony and torment for an eternity…and look! I broke a nail."
Something about Kain's ghastly expression tells me that maybe I should have given this bit a little more thought.
"Raziel, my boy," he says, eventually, clapping Raziel's body on the shoulder in a jovial we're-all-men-here sort of way, "are you sure there's nothing else you feel like talking about? While we're having this little father-son chat…thing…"
It is of course at this moment that my own body comes slamming through the doors in what I recognise as a Raziel-rage…only there is something different about it…
Raziel's body explodes up from the throne at my command, and I stalk up to my own body furiously, too angry to stay in character.
"How dare you," I bellow, "how dare you put that dreadful slutty nail-polish on?"
There is a moment of silence.
"If you want to tell me anything at all," says Kain, somewhat pitifully, "You know you can talk to me, don't you, son?"