Chapter 17
All this while, back in Kutuo, bad things were happening. Martha clung on tight to Nakago, glad that Uni was terrified of him. As she found out from her foe, Uni had been writing her fan fic at Fanfiction.net, a story about tense and passionate love between her and Tamahome. She was a very obsessed fan and her room screamed Tamahome! Martha told her to spare the details, and Uni went on to tell her that as she was writing, her screen suddenly changed. Taiiutskun appeared before her in the computer screen telling her that important events were to happen, and she could possibly be the Priestess of Seiyru! (I realize that I've been spelling that wrong. how do you spell it correctly?!)
Uni did not want to be Priestess of Seiyru, and Martha was glad. But she would do it to get Tamahome away from Katie/Miaka, and Martha was sad. but only for a moment. At least it would preoccupy those two and she could easily get the Seiyru on Naiidoska's side. She already had Nakago on her side, and that was the most important thing. As long as she gave him his box of cheez-its, brushed his hair, cleaned his clothes, fed him, rubbed his back (daily massages) and burned his hate mail, then she was totally on the side of her * big sigh from author * beloved.
But bad things were happening. The land of Kutuo had been invaded by Phil's tubas, and no one could stand to go out side and face the music. Everyone was stuck indoors, and people were starving all over the country side. The Boboshi's were now having an extra hard time trying to find he other celestial warriors, who were slow in answering their mail. Tomo and Kailein were no where to be found. Only Miboshi and Makiko were there. Miboshi, too, was on Martha's side, and she found him to be a very interesting, um, demon-possessed child. He made interesting conversation, and almost seemed to talk as if he had an English accent. And of course, Makiko was her best friend now, as Kailein had abandoned her and it was SO darn HARD to get A HOLD OF HER.
So, Martha spent her days locked up in Kutou palace hanging around Nakago (his tickle spot is on the tummy and love-handles!!) or playing card games with Miboshi and Makiko. Uni spent her nights crying about Tamahome. She spent her days whinning about Tamahome. Her unibrow (and Martha) kept Nakago far from, so he didn't go to her bedside at all to tell her it'll be alright. He did have a plan that he could sucker her into being the Priestess so that the beast god Seiyru wouldn't have to devour Martha, his beloved servant. Martha didn't know about this, but the author finds it quite sweet, even if he only takes advantage of my serving him!! Oh * thinks the author * I'll get a way into his heart. it might be hard, but he's just misunderstood. my poor nakie-poo!!!
But that's what's been happening in Kutou. Back to the exciting part of our show. I mean, story. (Friday nights at 8:00 on PBS, Kristin ;) )
Caitlin gazed up into those red eyes and flaming red hair as Tasuki threw her to the ground of his hide out hut hidden in the mountains. "No one will find us here," he growled. "Only me and my buddy know about this place." Then, he crawled over to Caitlin, talking about him taking her as a hostage. Caitlin wasn't paying attention to what he was saying (because the author doesn't remember every single line that's supposed to be said, OKAY!?) but she knew what he was going to do.
Unlike Miaka who pushed the beautifully fanged boy away from her, Caitlin allowed Tasuki to give her that kiss, that moment of sheer delight. She melted into a puddle besides him, grinning. She had nothing to say. Tasuki looked confused.
"Wha. what? Why you look so happy?! What the hell's wrong with you?! You're a hostage!! Be upset! Damn you women!!"
Caitlin wanted to be strong. She wanted to say something. All she could do was blush, giggle, blush some more and turn away.
"Ah, you're like all the rest," he muttered, turning away.
That did it.
Caitlin broke out of her dreaminess and turned on him, shouting, "What?! I'm not like all the rest! Who do you think beat Eiken up, you jerk?!"
Tasuki turned around, face red. "Who you calling a -- wait, did you just say YOU'RE the one who beat EIKEN up?!"
"YES!!" Caitlin shouted.
Tasuki flushed. Woah, he was getting a kick out of this girl!
He stood up, and shouted back at her, "Why don't you women just be quiet and let us do our jobs, huh?! You could have been killed! DO you realize what he owns?! That fan?!! That was our old boss's fan!! DO you realize what it can do?!"
"What?!" Caitlin shouted, forgetting not to spoil stuff for the Suzaku seven, "does it throw out fire or something?!?!"
Tasuki shouted back, "YEAH, IT DOES!" and then stopped himself. "hey, how'd you know that?"
Caitlin backed down, quieting her voice. "Just. guessing. Uh, I looked at your hair and the first thing that came to mind was fire, that's it."
* author says, nice cover up, Cailtin. ;) *
Just then, there was a knock on the door, followed by:
"Knock, knock. Who's there. Koji. Koji who? Koji, Genro's buddy. Koji? Well, come on in! Thank you."
The door burst open and there was Koji, smiling his idiotic smile. Caitlin watched with joy as Tasuki and Koji embraced like brothers and did a little dance. A Mexican hat appeared from no where on the ground, and they danced around that, too, doing the Mexican hat dance. Mexican music came up from the back ground, and Caitlin began to clap along, cheering on her man and his. friend.
When all was done, and they took big bows to Caitlin and the invisible audience that had given them tremendous applause, they started talking business.
"Yeah, I wasn't gonna come back so early, but something told me that today was my lucky day."
"Knock, knock. Who's there. Koji. Koji who? Koji wants to know what, really? Koji? Well go ahead and ask. Thank you!"
"Actually, it was Lady Luck herself!"
Caitlin gave a cough, and they both turned on her. They gave her meancing stares, but she simply got to her feet and said, "I know what's going on. Based on what Genro just told me, that is. This fan that Eiken's got, you want it so you can be the new boss, right? Cause this Eiken."
"He likes Cheez-nips," Tasuki growled. "He's gonna turn the rest of the bandits to cheez nip lovers! I gotta keep the cheez it thing going! Haven't you ever seen the commercial where those two people are having a party and every time they open the door a couple hands them cheez nips and they're allowed in, and the there's a couple with cheez its, and they're rejected?! Well, that's how it is here! Eiken is part of that party and he's gonna turn down all the cheez its for cheez nips!! Gotta save the Cheez its Mountain Bandits INC (CMB for short, if you must)."
"That's terrible!" Caitlin said. "No wonder.!! He refused my cheez its!"
"Is that why he was on the ground like that?"
"You better believe it!!" Caitlin shouted, her face growing red in anger. Tasuki was liking this. Someone understood his dilema!
"Knock, knock. Who's there. Koji. Koji who? Koji asks well then, what should we do? Koji? Well, go ahead and ask! Thank you!"
"I have a plan."
Pretty soon, Koji, Tasuki, and Caitlin were outside in the bushes, looking upon the building of the CMB. Tasuki held up some small strips of paper with writing on them. "These are talisman," he explained to Caitlin. "You write what you want on them, and it'll produce an illusion. I got them from some weird guy with painted face, feathers and a girlfriend who called tomo-pikki-poo."
Caitlin tried not to laugh. Kailein already had a baby name for him?! Tomo-pikki-poo?!
"Here, I know what we should do with them," Caitlin said. She wrote down the character for "wolf" on each of them, and Tasuki smiled.
"Exactly what I was going for! Hey, you're not bad. for a woman," he added in a sort of growl.
Just then, they were bombarded by Hotohori, Nuriko and Tamahome. Hotohori and Nuriko were back in normal dress attire, while Tamahome was still in his tight leather outfit with the fish net tights and the afro. Hotohori held a sword to Tasuki's neck, growling. "What did you do the Priestess's Royal Consort?"
"Royal consort?!" Tasuki cried in surprise. "You didn't tell me nothing about being a Royal Consort for some Priestess!! What is she, the Suzaku no miko?!"
"I just might be," Kristin said, stepping out of the bushes. She still had sparkles in her hair and clothes, but she dressed normally again.
Tasuki went red. Kristin knew he wasn't going to admit to being a celestial warrior. Not just yet.
"Knock, knock. Who's there? Koji. Koji who? --"
"Koji I'm gonna PUCNH YOU IN THE FACE IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!!" Nuriko yelled.
"Hey, keep your voice down," Tasuki muttered as Hotohori let go. "DO you want Eiken to hear?"
"Whats going on?" Hotohori demanded. "Are you alright, Caitlin?"
"I'm fine," Caitlin said, beaming. Oh, she was more than fine, but we don't need to elaborate on that. "In fact, I was just going to help T- Genro get back into the old bosses' seat."
"Are you sure you want to help this man that just kidnapped you?" Hotohori asked. Kristin put a hand on Hotohori's shoulder.
"If we let it go, we might find a warrior within one of the bandits, Your Highness," she said.
"YOUR HIGHNESS?!" Tasuki cried.
"Whoops," Kristin said, realizing she shouldn't have said that just yet. Oh, well. Damage already done.
"Yes, I am Hotohori, Emperor of Konan, and one of the Suzaku Seven. This might be your Priestess of Suzaku if you don't kindly go on your business so that we may gather the rest of our warriors," Hotohori said.
Tasuki growled a bit. Koji tried to speak but got Nuriko's hand in his mouth.
The gang then made their way back into the building. They tried to go in quietly, but the gang of bandits were already standing there, with Eiken, ready to strike.
"Eiken!" Tasuki growled.
"Genro," Eiken said. "So nice to see you again. Were you wanting, perhaps, this?" he brandished out the wonderful fan. Tasuki's fan. "You knw nothing can get by me with this fan!"
"Oh, yeah?!" Caitlin jeered. Tasuki smiled, though prayed to God that she would not try something stupid like run up to the guy and try to yank the thing out of his hands. Instead, though, Caitlin grabbed the Talisman and threw them at Eiken.
They watched as the paper strips turned into wolves. Then, to Kristin and Caitlin's horror, one of the wolves turned into. DUN DUN DUN DA!!!
The blonde guy who was now standing before them gave a sneer, and pronounced in a great, loud voice, "I AM THE LONE WOLF WARRIOR!!"
"AUUGHUHGUUGHHGUH!!!"
All this while, back in Kutuo, bad things were happening. Martha clung on tight to Nakago, glad that Uni was terrified of him. As she found out from her foe, Uni had been writing her fan fic at Fanfiction.net, a story about tense and passionate love between her and Tamahome. She was a very obsessed fan and her room screamed Tamahome! Martha told her to spare the details, and Uni went on to tell her that as she was writing, her screen suddenly changed. Taiiutskun appeared before her in the computer screen telling her that important events were to happen, and she could possibly be the Priestess of Seiyru! (I realize that I've been spelling that wrong. how do you spell it correctly?!)
Uni did not want to be Priestess of Seiyru, and Martha was glad. But she would do it to get Tamahome away from Katie/Miaka, and Martha was sad. but only for a moment. At least it would preoccupy those two and she could easily get the Seiyru on Naiidoska's side. She already had Nakago on her side, and that was the most important thing. As long as she gave him his box of cheez-its, brushed his hair, cleaned his clothes, fed him, rubbed his back (daily massages) and burned his hate mail, then she was totally on the side of her * big sigh from author * beloved.
But bad things were happening. The land of Kutuo had been invaded by Phil's tubas, and no one could stand to go out side and face the music. Everyone was stuck indoors, and people were starving all over the country side. The Boboshi's were now having an extra hard time trying to find he other celestial warriors, who were slow in answering their mail. Tomo and Kailein were no where to be found. Only Miboshi and Makiko were there. Miboshi, too, was on Martha's side, and she found him to be a very interesting, um, demon-possessed child. He made interesting conversation, and almost seemed to talk as if he had an English accent. And of course, Makiko was her best friend now, as Kailein had abandoned her and it was SO darn HARD to get A HOLD OF HER.
So, Martha spent her days locked up in Kutou palace hanging around Nakago (his tickle spot is on the tummy and love-handles!!) or playing card games with Miboshi and Makiko. Uni spent her nights crying about Tamahome. She spent her days whinning about Tamahome. Her unibrow (and Martha) kept Nakago far from, so he didn't go to her bedside at all to tell her it'll be alright. He did have a plan that he could sucker her into being the Priestess so that the beast god Seiyru wouldn't have to devour Martha, his beloved servant. Martha didn't know about this, but the author finds it quite sweet, even if he only takes advantage of my serving him!! Oh * thinks the author * I'll get a way into his heart. it might be hard, but he's just misunderstood. my poor nakie-poo!!!
But that's what's been happening in Kutou. Back to the exciting part of our show. I mean, story. (Friday nights at 8:00 on PBS, Kristin ;) )
Caitlin gazed up into those red eyes and flaming red hair as Tasuki threw her to the ground of his hide out hut hidden in the mountains. "No one will find us here," he growled. "Only me and my buddy know about this place." Then, he crawled over to Caitlin, talking about him taking her as a hostage. Caitlin wasn't paying attention to what he was saying (because the author doesn't remember every single line that's supposed to be said, OKAY!?) but she knew what he was going to do.
Unlike Miaka who pushed the beautifully fanged boy away from her, Caitlin allowed Tasuki to give her that kiss, that moment of sheer delight. She melted into a puddle besides him, grinning. She had nothing to say. Tasuki looked confused.
"Wha. what? Why you look so happy?! What the hell's wrong with you?! You're a hostage!! Be upset! Damn you women!!"
Caitlin wanted to be strong. She wanted to say something. All she could do was blush, giggle, blush some more and turn away.
"Ah, you're like all the rest," he muttered, turning away.
That did it.
Caitlin broke out of her dreaminess and turned on him, shouting, "What?! I'm not like all the rest! Who do you think beat Eiken up, you jerk?!"
Tasuki turned around, face red. "Who you calling a -- wait, did you just say YOU'RE the one who beat EIKEN up?!"
"YES!!" Caitlin shouted.
Tasuki flushed. Woah, he was getting a kick out of this girl!
He stood up, and shouted back at her, "Why don't you women just be quiet and let us do our jobs, huh?! You could have been killed! DO you realize what he owns?! That fan?!! That was our old boss's fan!! DO you realize what it can do?!"
"What?!" Caitlin shouted, forgetting not to spoil stuff for the Suzaku seven, "does it throw out fire or something?!?!"
Tasuki shouted back, "YEAH, IT DOES!" and then stopped himself. "hey, how'd you know that?"
Caitlin backed down, quieting her voice. "Just. guessing. Uh, I looked at your hair and the first thing that came to mind was fire, that's it."
* author says, nice cover up, Cailtin. ;) *
Just then, there was a knock on the door, followed by:
"Knock, knock. Who's there. Koji. Koji who? Koji, Genro's buddy. Koji? Well, come on in! Thank you."
The door burst open and there was Koji, smiling his idiotic smile. Caitlin watched with joy as Tasuki and Koji embraced like brothers and did a little dance. A Mexican hat appeared from no where on the ground, and they danced around that, too, doing the Mexican hat dance. Mexican music came up from the back ground, and Caitlin began to clap along, cheering on her man and his. friend.
When all was done, and they took big bows to Caitlin and the invisible audience that had given them tremendous applause, they started talking business.
"Yeah, I wasn't gonna come back so early, but something told me that today was my lucky day."
"Knock, knock. Who's there. Koji. Koji who? Koji wants to know what, really? Koji? Well go ahead and ask. Thank you!"
"Actually, it was Lady Luck herself!"
Caitlin gave a cough, and they both turned on her. They gave her meancing stares, but she simply got to her feet and said, "I know what's going on. Based on what Genro just told me, that is. This fan that Eiken's got, you want it so you can be the new boss, right? Cause this Eiken."
"He likes Cheez-nips," Tasuki growled. "He's gonna turn the rest of the bandits to cheez nip lovers! I gotta keep the cheez it thing going! Haven't you ever seen the commercial where those two people are having a party and every time they open the door a couple hands them cheez nips and they're allowed in, and the there's a couple with cheez its, and they're rejected?! Well, that's how it is here! Eiken is part of that party and he's gonna turn down all the cheez its for cheez nips!! Gotta save the Cheez its Mountain Bandits INC (CMB for short, if you must)."
"That's terrible!" Caitlin said. "No wonder.!! He refused my cheez its!"
"Is that why he was on the ground like that?"
"You better believe it!!" Caitlin shouted, her face growing red in anger. Tasuki was liking this. Someone understood his dilema!
"Knock, knock. Who's there. Koji. Koji who? Koji asks well then, what should we do? Koji? Well, go ahead and ask! Thank you!"
"I have a plan."
Pretty soon, Koji, Tasuki, and Caitlin were outside in the bushes, looking upon the building of the CMB. Tasuki held up some small strips of paper with writing on them. "These are talisman," he explained to Caitlin. "You write what you want on them, and it'll produce an illusion. I got them from some weird guy with painted face, feathers and a girlfriend who called tomo-pikki-poo."
Caitlin tried not to laugh. Kailein already had a baby name for him?! Tomo-pikki-poo?!
"Here, I know what we should do with them," Caitlin said. She wrote down the character for "wolf" on each of them, and Tasuki smiled.
"Exactly what I was going for! Hey, you're not bad. for a woman," he added in a sort of growl.
Just then, they were bombarded by Hotohori, Nuriko and Tamahome. Hotohori and Nuriko were back in normal dress attire, while Tamahome was still in his tight leather outfit with the fish net tights and the afro. Hotohori held a sword to Tasuki's neck, growling. "What did you do the Priestess's Royal Consort?"
"Royal consort?!" Tasuki cried in surprise. "You didn't tell me nothing about being a Royal Consort for some Priestess!! What is she, the Suzaku no miko?!"
"I just might be," Kristin said, stepping out of the bushes. She still had sparkles in her hair and clothes, but she dressed normally again.
Tasuki went red. Kristin knew he wasn't going to admit to being a celestial warrior. Not just yet.
"Knock, knock. Who's there? Koji. Koji who? --"
"Koji I'm gonna PUCNH YOU IN THE FACE IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!!" Nuriko yelled.
"Hey, keep your voice down," Tasuki muttered as Hotohori let go. "DO you want Eiken to hear?"
"Whats going on?" Hotohori demanded. "Are you alright, Caitlin?"
"I'm fine," Caitlin said, beaming. Oh, she was more than fine, but we don't need to elaborate on that. "In fact, I was just going to help T- Genro get back into the old bosses' seat."
"Are you sure you want to help this man that just kidnapped you?" Hotohori asked. Kristin put a hand on Hotohori's shoulder.
"If we let it go, we might find a warrior within one of the bandits, Your Highness," she said.
"YOUR HIGHNESS?!" Tasuki cried.
"Whoops," Kristin said, realizing she shouldn't have said that just yet. Oh, well. Damage already done.
"Yes, I am Hotohori, Emperor of Konan, and one of the Suzaku Seven. This might be your Priestess of Suzaku if you don't kindly go on your business so that we may gather the rest of our warriors," Hotohori said.
Tasuki growled a bit. Koji tried to speak but got Nuriko's hand in his mouth.
The gang then made their way back into the building. They tried to go in quietly, but the gang of bandits were already standing there, with Eiken, ready to strike.
"Eiken!" Tasuki growled.
"Genro," Eiken said. "So nice to see you again. Were you wanting, perhaps, this?" he brandished out the wonderful fan. Tasuki's fan. "You knw nothing can get by me with this fan!"
"Oh, yeah?!" Caitlin jeered. Tasuki smiled, though prayed to God that she would not try something stupid like run up to the guy and try to yank the thing out of his hands. Instead, though, Caitlin grabbed the Talisman and threw them at Eiken.
They watched as the paper strips turned into wolves. Then, to Kristin and Caitlin's horror, one of the wolves turned into. DUN DUN DUN DA!!!
The blonde guy who was now standing before them gave a sneer, and pronounced in a great, loud voice, "I AM THE LONE WOLF WARRIOR!!"
"AUUGHUHGUUGHHGUH!!!"