"Heero, we have to talk. There's something you should know about why Duo chose to skip the play."
Heero grimaced. This wasn't something he was willing to do. He was never really good at the talking situations. He was more of a blowing-things up kinda guy. But if it imvolved Duo and was important enough for Trowa to say more than three words, he knew he had to listen.
He flipped the lights on for their room casually, hoping to not allow his fear of the upcoming conversation be too apparent. Trowa knew. Trowa had to know already. And if he didn't, he was going to know today.
Trowa sat across from Heero, in his normal silent manner. He could see Heero fidgeting slightly, sweat beginning to collect on his forehead. Seeing him like this was too much and he let out a low chuckle.
That snapped the Japanese boy out of his haze. "What? What's so funny?" He tried his death glare on Trowa, knowing that it would not result in anything but more laughter.
"Heero, I would have never imagined that you would be nervous." The tall pilot straightened up and looked Heero in the eyes. "I know emotions is not your forte, but neither is talking for me, but look, I'm doing it. Overcome your fear Heero. Open up."
Cobalt blue eyes fell in defeat, his body visibly slumping into the chair, as if the weight of the world were suddenly on his shoulders. "I try Trowa, I really do, but I…"
"…don't want to get hurt. Yes, we all don't want you to, but sometimes, it's easier to face things. At least you would know, instead of having to wonder all your life what may have been. Closure, Heero, closure."
Heero sighed. He had to accept it. Those words rung true. "Fine, Trowa. But tell me what you were going to say."
"First I need to hear you say it."
"Say what?"
"What you feel here." He pointed to his chest, indicating his heart. "About Duo. About anyone."
Heero bit his lip. He wasn't acting very childish, but unfamiliar territory always recalled some instinctive actions that seemed childish. "Do I have to start with Duo?"
"About anyone is fine." Trowa thought for a moment. "How about Relena?"
The Wing pilot lit up. "That one's easy. She's like a sister to me. Sometimes, even a mother."
Inwardly, Trowa smiled. It was something to start with. "Then why do you react so harshly to her advances? Shouldn't a brother be kind to his sister?"
"Sibling rivalry. Which one of us can bring peace to the world first? By war or by delegation? Besides, I don't really think incest is my point of objection here. It's more like the first time I saw her on the beach, I didn't feel it. It wasn't there. She was more of a stranger than anything else."
"It?"
"Yeah, you know _it_. That intensity you feel with the one you love, that feeling that makes your heart race at the site of them, that electricity in the air. That…spark. Like what you and Quatre have."
Trowa smiled. This was definitely progress. "Then who do you feel that about?"
Heero bit his lip and looked away. He stammered and mumbled, but was unable to answer.
Trowa sighed, this would take some work. "Okay, then how about we try your emotions about…" He thought for a moment again. "Us. The Gundam pilots. The five of us."
His comrade took a deep breath to calm himself and answered as frankly as possible. "We are a family. There are no secrets between us. Well, not many at least. Or maybe at least one other person would know. You and Quatre are like the parents, the heads of the family, keeping order, making sure we all feel okay, feeding us, cleaning up after us, doing laundry, helping us become better people. Wufei is like an uncle to all of us. He's distant sometimes, but when we need him, he comes to us. He teaches us morals. He's always there for us to run to." Heero paused.
"And Duo?"
"Duo…is something else. Something…more." Trowa shot Heero a perplexed look and Heero took another breath and continued. "Well, let's say you were all body parts of me. Quatre would be the brain, you would be the legs, and Wufei would be the hands. And Duo? Duo is my heart."
Trowa smiled. As Heero liked to say: ninmu kanryou; mission accomplished. "Thank you Heero, that was all that I needed to hear."
The Wing pilot smiled weakly. "Now what did you want to tell me about Duo?"
Instantly, Trowa became serious again. "He didn't come because he's afraid." His comrade gave him a quizzical look and he continued. "He's afraid not only of losing you, but of just screwing up and making you that silent emotionless killing machine again. He doesn't want you to be that. He's seen you grow into a compassionate human being, even though you may not notice. I mean, helping a little girl find her mother in the park when you should be on a recon mission? That doesn't sound like the old Heero. No matter how much you try to hide it from us, we know. You're not alone in your actions Heero, we'll always be just one step behind you. When you fall, we catch you. You understand?" Heero nodded. "He doesn't want you to become what you were just because he broke your heart, or if you were forced to be something you're not. He wants you to be you, but only if you want to. He doesn't want you to push you to love him if you don't. Do you even know how long he's loved you? Ever since the first time you blew yourself up. He doesn't want to show it because he's afraid it might push you too far. He's afraid of being alone too."
"You're going to tell Quatre this and Quatre is going to tell Duo so that Duo can be lessed worried, correct?" The tall pilot nodded, a light smile playing on his features. "Then you can tell him that I love Duo too much to hurt him and I swear I will do anything in my power to make sure he is safe. I would give my life for him."
"Aa, Heero, you can count on me telling him that. At least we both gained something from this conversation."
"Aa, but you know what we both need that we can't get from this conversation?"
"What?"
"Sleep. Let's go to bed, we've gotta meet Wufei early in the morning for the rendezvous."
"One of the smartest things you've said tonight. Let's go." With that, Heero eagerly jumped into his bed for a night's worth of well deserved sleep.
In the faint darkness, two figures talked, one short and elegant, the other tall and graceful.
"So that's what happened. Did it suit what you need to tell Duo?" The tall one finished his tale and rested heavily on the tree behind him.
"That will do but I'm worried about both of them. They both always blame themeselves for something that is merely an act that can't be controlled. They both blame themselves for their past and their inability to stop the war in one day. Don't they realize we are merely children?"
"Childhood bodies we may be in, my dear Quatre, but the mind of men run in our hearts. They only blame themselves because they are that far gone. They see more than the world does. And they have taken to the responsibility that man should always repent for his actions. They want to save the world in order to save themselves from their own guilt."
"They are so much alike that even they don't realize it."
"Aa, my dear, but if they truly are destined to be together, then their paths should bring them together one day."
"Do you think it will be soon?"
"Hopefully. For our sake and theirs. This waltz must end." At those words, the sun began its daily journey across the sky, its rays begin to poke through the to the world. "And when it ends, their world shall start anew, in the arms of each other."
"Let's just hope it turns out that way…" Quatre snuggled deeper into Trowa and fell into a light slumber.
End Part XI
Ack, this part was so bad. >_