ACT 11: FREEZA EXPLAINS
DISCLAIMER: *Holds up a sign via Ranma's dad when he's a panda. It reads "I do not own DBZ or The Rocky Horror Picture Show!"*
Feleda: Sorry I wasn't able to upload for a long-ass time. I was in Spain from June 27 to July 18. I actually had this written before then, and I thought I had successfully uploaded it, but I guess not. *shrugs* Anyways, just saying that I didn't forget about things.
Also, thank you all for your suggestions and praise. They really do help.
I'd also like to take the time to say something about frying pans: as we all know, Chi-Chi uses the dreaded Frying Pan of Doom. Well, she wasn't the first. Frying Pan as a weapon history dates back to the first Indiana Jones movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. When Miriam is being chased, she grabs a frying pan, runs into a building, and we hear a loud BAM! as it's brought down onto a guy's head, knocking him out cold. Well, enough of my talking. Bring on the music! ************************************************************************ Freeza stood atop a rock, cackling down on Gokuu, Piccolo, Krillin, Vegeta, Bulma, and Gohan. Zarbon and Dodoria stood behind him smirking, as well as the rest of the Ginyu Special Force. "At last, me meet again; in the Afterlife!"
Hah! Got you all there. The Z gang's died of old age, and now meet up with Freeza in the afterworld. Since they had all done many important things whilst they were alive, they had been allowed to keep their bodies- when they were in their prime! This, of course, had made Bulma ecstatic. (A/N: just work with me here. I'm bolding going where no author has gone before. Not really but.)
Anyways.
"And your point, you gay lizard?" asked Gokuu. "We're all dead, you can't really do anything; blast us if you want, it won't hurt a bit."
Freeza gasped. "H-how did you know?" he asked, apparently much shocked.
"Listen, I've been dead before, I think I know-"
"No, not that, you stupid monkey!" Freeza snapped. Vegeta, Gohan, and Gokuu all looked very offended.
"Then what?" Vegeta snarled.
"That I'm a transvestite. Hell, my entire crew practically is!" Freeza answered. Zarbon and the Ginyu Special Force blushed.
"Sir."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, boys. After all, look at me," Freeza told them. Suddenly, jazzy music started up from somewhere nearby. Hell's like that; you can never predict when music's going to start playing and the urge to sing and dance overtakes you.
"Why, I'm just a sweet transvestite
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania," Freeza sang. The Z gang gawked openly.
"Why don't I show you around," Freeza continued.
"I've already been here, thanks," Gokuu replied.
"But you haven't seen everything yet
"Maybe I'll play you all a sound
"You look like you're all pretty groovy."
"Er."
Not skipping a beat, Freeza sang: "Or if you want something visual,
"That's not too abysmal
"We could take in an old karate movie," he suggested.
Making an excuse to try and get away, Bulma said: "I'm so glad we caught you at home,
"Could we use your phone?
"We're all in a bit of a hurry," she told them.
"Right," Gohan, Gokuu, Vegeta, Krillin, and Piccolo agreed.
"We need to call up our kids
"See, they're all on earth, that is," Krillin supplied.
Not willing to let our poor, suffering heroes go yet, Freeza told them:
"Well, you wanna call up your spawn?
"How bout sometime around dawn
"Babies, don't you panic," he sang.
"Who's he calling a baby?" growled Gohan to Gokuu.
Unhindered by Gohan, Freeza carried on: "By the light of the night
"It'll all seem all right,
"I'll get you a satanic mechanic."
"What the hell? We don't need a mechanic; we have her!" yelled Krillin, pointing at Bulma, a vein popping out of his forehead.
Freeza either heard and ignored Krillin, or didn't hear him at all; he just carried on singing.
"I'm just a sweet transvestite
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania
"Why don't you stay for the night?" he suggested.
"Night!" Zarbon, Dodoria and the Ginyu Special Force hissed. Seeing the looks on everyone's' faces, he then tried:
"Or maybe a bite?" Gokuu, Vegeta, and Gohan visibly perked up.
"Bite!" Zarbon, Dodoria and the Ginyu Special Force hissed again.
"I could show you my favorite obsession," he told them.
"I've been making a man," he sang; our unfortunate heroes looked at each other nervously.
"With blonde hair and a tan," Freeza further explained; our heroes started backing away.
"And he's good for relieving my tension
"I'm just a sweet transvestite
"From Tran Sexual," he drew out the "s" in "sexual." "Transylvania
"Hit it! Hit it!" Freeza snapped his fingers.
"I'm just a sweet transvestite," he attempted to do the pelvic thrust from "Time Warp."
"Sweet Transvestite!" Zarbon and the rest sang in the background.
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania
"So come up to the lab
"And see what's on the slab
"I see you shiver with antici-" Freeza smirked.
"Say it!" Everyone (Gokuu, Gohan, Vegeta, Bulma, Krillin, Zarbon, Dodoria, and the Ginyu Force) yelled.
"Pation!" Freeza spat out.
"But maybe the rain is really to blame!"
"What rain?" Krillin whispered to Gokuu.
"So I'll remove the cause
"But not the symptom," he finished.
"Um."
"Er."
"Uh."
"." Was the general noise our intrepid heroes were making. It was then that Cell decided to show up.
"Freeza! What the hell were you doing? Were you singing that song again?" he demanded.
"Yes."
Whilst the villains were bickering, our heroes made their daring escape.
"Oh my Dende, I don't *ever* want to see or hear that again!" Bulma gasped.
"I think I'm scared for life!" Gokuu whined.
"You're dead, idiot!" Vegeta snapped.
"You mean I'm stuck with the image of Freeza doing the pelvic thrust and singing for the rest of eternity?" Gokuu asked.
"Unfortunately, yes; we all are," Piccolo replied.
Gokuu's eyes filled with tears. "It- it can't be! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.
************************************************************************ Poor, poor Gokuu. Sucks to be him or any of the others. Oh well! Hope you all enjoyed it, and won't be too scared for life. Thanks for all the suggestions! You guys are my heroes.
DISCLAIMER: *Holds up a sign via Ranma's dad when he's a panda. It reads "I do not own DBZ or The Rocky Horror Picture Show!"*
Feleda: Sorry I wasn't able to upload for a long-ass time. I was in Spain from June 27 to July 18. I actually had this written before then, and I thought I had successfully uploaded it, but I guess not. *shrugs* Anyways, just saying that I didn't forget about things.
Also, thank you all for your suggestions and praise. They really do help.
I'd also like to take the time to say something about frying pans: as we all know, Chi-Chi uses the dreaded Frying Pan of Doom. Well, she wasn't the first. Frying Pan as a weapon history dates back to the first Indiana Jones movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. When Miriam is being chased, she grabs a frying pan, runs into a building, and we hear a loud BAM! as it's brought down onto a guy's head, knocking him out cold. Well, enough of my talking. Bring on the music! ************************************************************************ Freeza stood atop a rock, cackling down on Gokuu, Piccolo, Krillin, Vegeta, Bulma, and Gohan. Zarbon and Dodoria stood behind him smirking, as well as the rest of the Ginyu Special Force. "At last, me meet again; in the Afterlife!"
Hah! Got you all there. The Z gang's died of old age, and now meet up with Freeza in the afterworld. Since they had all done many important things whilst they were alive, they had been allowed to keep their bodies- when they were in their prime! This, of course, had made Bulma ecstatic. (A/N: just work with me here. I'm bolding going where no author has gone before. Not really but.)
Anyways.
"And your point, you gay lizard?" asked Gokuu. "We're all dead, you can't really do anything; blast us if you want, it won't hurt a bit."
Freeza gasped. "H-how did you know?" he asked, apparently much shocked.
"Listen, I've been dead before, I think I know-"
"No, not that, you stupid monkey!" Freeza snapped. Vegeta, Gohan, and Gokuu all looked very offended.
"Then what?" Vegeta snarled.
"That I'm a transvestite. Hell, my entire crew practically is!" Freeza answered. Zarbon and the Ginyu Special Force blushed.
"Sir."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, boys. After all, look at me," Freeza told them. Suddenly, jazzy music started up from somewhere nearby. Hell's like that; you can never predict when music's going to start playing and the urge to sing and dance overtakes you.
"Why, I'm just a sweet transvestite
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania," Freeza sang. The Z gang gawked openly.
"Why don't I show you around," Freeza continued.
"I've already been here, thanks," Gokuu replied.
"But you haven't seen everything yet
"Maybe I'll play you all a sound
"You look like you're all pretty groovy."
"Er."
Not skipping a beat, Freeza sang: "Or if you want something visual,
"That's not too abysmal
"We could take in an old karate movie," he suggested.
Making an excuse to try and get away, Bulma said: "I'm so glad we caught you at home,
"Could we use your phone?
"We're all in a bit of a hurry," she told them.
"Right," Gohan, Gokuu, Vegeta, Krillin, and Piccolo agreed.
"We need to call up our kids
"See, they're all on earth, that is," Krillin supplied.
Not willing to let our poor, suffering heroes go yet, Freeza told them:
"Well, you wanna call up your spawn?
"How bout sometime around dawn
"Babies, don't you panic," he sang.
"Who's he calling a baby?" growled Gohan to Gokuu.
Unhindered by Gohan, Freeza carried on: "By the light of the night
"It'll all seem all right,
"I'll get you a satanic mechanic."
"What the hell? We don't need a mechanic; we have her!" yelled Krillin, pointing at Bulma, a vein popping out of his forehead.
Freeza either heard and ignored Krillin, or didn't hear him at all; he just carried on singing.
"I'm just a sweet transvestite
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania
"Why don't you stay for the night?" he suggested.
"Night!" Zarbon, Dodoria and the Ginyu Special Force hissed. Seeing the looks on everyone's' faces, he then tried:
"Or maybe a bite?" Gokuu, Vegeta, and Gohan visibly perked up.
"Bite!" Zarbon, Dodoria and the Ginyu Special Force hissed again.
"I could show you my favorite obsession," he told them.
"I've been making a man," he sang; our unfortunate heroes looked at each other nervously.
"With blonde hair and a tan," Freeza further explained; our heroes started backing away.
"And he's good for relieving my tension
"I'm just a sweet transvestite
"From Tran Sexual," he drew out the "s" in "sexual." "Transylvania
"Hit it! Hit it!" Freeza snapped his fingers.
"I'm just a sweet transvestite," he attempted to do the pelvic thrust from "Time Warp."
"Sweet Transvestite!" Zarbon and the rest sang in the background.
"From Tran Sexual, Transylvania
"So come up to the lab
"And see what's on the slab
"I see you shiver with antici-" Freeza smirked.
"Say it!" Everyone (Gokuu, Gohan, Vegeta, Bulma, Krillin, Zarbon, Dodoria, and the Ginyu Force) yelled.
"Pation!" Freeza spat out.
"But maybe the rain is really to blame!"
"What rain?" Krillin whispered to Gokuu.
"So I'll remove the cause
"But not the symptom," he finished.
"Um."
"Er."
"Uh."
"." Was the general noise our intrepid heroes were making. It was then that Cell decided to show up.
"Freeza! What the hell were you doing? Were you singing that song again?" he demanded.
"Yes."
Whilst the villains were bickering, our heroes made their daring escape.
"Oh my Dende, I don't *ever* want to see or hear that again!" Bulma gasped.
"I think I'm scared for life!" Gokuu whined.
"You're dead, idiot!" Vegeta snapped.
"You mean I'm stuck with the image of Freeza doing the pelvic thrust and singing for the rest of eternity?" Gokuu asked.
"Unfortunately, yes; we all are," Piccolo replied.
Gokuu's eyes filled with tears. "It- it can't be! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.
************************************************************************ Poor, poor Gokuu. Sucks to be him or any of the others. Oh well! Hope you all enjoyed it, and won't be too scared for life. Thanks for all the suggestions! You guys are my heroes.