Videl: Warrior Princess: Everyone keeps writing about what happened between Bulma and Vegeta during the three years before the Androids through Bulma and/or Vegeta. We never get to hear Yamcha's side of the story. So, it only seemed fair to me that someone should write on his behalf (unfortunately, it took a long time, because he insisted on telling about everything!). I happen to like Yamcha and find him funny and honorable a lot of times. Before I forget, I don't own DBZ, so, please don't sue me. Also, please review! If you don't like something, blame it on Yamcha!
Yamcha: HEY!!
Videl: Warrior Princess: Oops! Didn't know you were here Yamcha! I'm sorry! Forgive me?
Yamcha: Okay….
Videl: Warrior Princess: Yea! Now Gohan won't get mad at me!!
Great Super Gohan: Why would I be mad at you?
Videl: Warrior Princess: Oh nothing… You better keep your promise to me!
Great Super Gohan: What promise?
Videl: Warrior Princess: About teaching me how to do ki blasts…
Great Super Gohan: Uhh… *laughing nervously* Don't you think it was time you started the fic? This is getting kind of long…
Videl: Warrior Princess: Oops! You're right; on with the fic!
Great Super Gohan: Whew!
Videl: Warrior Princess: You're teaching me right after this!!
Great Super Gohan: Aww man… Yamcha help!
Yamcha: She's your girlfriend; it's your prob!
Videl: Warrior Princess: AHEM!! Can we go on to the fic now?! *glares at them and taps foot with arms folded*
Great Super Gohan and Yamcha: Sure! *both smile nervously at her*
Videl: Warrior Princess: *smirks* That's better.
What Really Happened-As Told by Yamcha
Now everyone thinks I'm pissed because Bulma chose Vegeta over me, well, the truth is that I'm not. Nor am I a back stabbing, cowardly, baka, bastard, despite what people may think. Yes, I am a baka; I will admit that. I've only got a mid-college education, but hell, what's a college diploma to a cutthroat that lives in the desert?! As for the whole Bulma-bitch thing, well, I should start at the beginning……
What can I say about my dear loving parents? That I'm glad they're both in hell. I guess I should change that because I never really knew my mom, because she died when I was 3. As for my dad however, I wouldn't give a damn if he was being eaten alive by vultures. Why should I care about somebody who always compared me to my brother and would almost beat me to death? For the longest time though, I could tell you why. Even though my dad used to try to kill me practically everyday, when I was a kid, I loved the bastard; I worshipped the ground he walked on and tried anything that would gain his approval. What happened to my bro? I really don't know; all I know is that he's dead (hallelujah!) and left me custody of his kid, Excalibur. How did I get my fear of women? Good question, I'm at that now.
Well, as a kid, I thought that my dad was the strongest person in the world (Kami, was I naive back then), and he was killed by a sorceress one day. It turns out that my dad renounce her love for him, and well, let's just say she probably should've seen a shrink. Ever since then, until I unfortunately met that bitch Bulma (Sorry girl), I had a terrible fear of women. My brother did raise me for a few years, I was around 8 when my dad was slaughtered for the pig he was, but soon, he left me to fend for myself out in the desert. (See the whole desert connection?) Anyway, I became even more like my dad and carried on the family tradition of being a cutthroat and a thief.
One day I happened to be minding my own business, when I saw a small cat being hunted down by a bunch of lowlifes. Now I was 14 at the time and was just making a name for myself, create a good rep, etc… So I went there on my hovercraft and belted the shit out of those guys, telling them that the cat was my prey and my alone. The cat looked at me scared and said that he'd do anything if I just let him live. Being really a softie at heart, I asked the cat where he was from, and he answered that he had no home or family, and I took the cat as my assistant in the business. Well, 2 years later, that's when it all started…. That's when I met Bulma and Goku.
Since Puar had stayed with me for 2 years, he of course learned about my greatest fear and to my surprise, he didn't mock me for it; instead, he just stayed by my side, helping by getting the girls away from me. Why? Who knows? Anyway, after the whole deal with Emperor Pilaf, Bulma decided to hook up with me, and I got over my fear of girls.
Now, it was nothing but work, work, work, and apologizing with this girl. She'd start fights with me over nothing and was making me her personal slave and doll to boot. And making me get my hair cut just was the beginning; she got mad at me when I was gone for month training without her. As if there's a telephone in the middle of the forest, and even if there was, I wouldn't be able to call; I was training to win. Then, she would yell if I just happened to look at another girl that was walking by when she would be flirting with guys back and forth. (She even yelled when I was thanking the waitress on our date. Why would I want to date somebody that's 30 years older than me?!) People ask me why didn't I just break up with her if she did that. Well, here's my answer: for some unexplained reason, I loved that woman, and I didn't want to lose her. When we broke up the first time, Bulma wouldn't even listen to my side of the story. Here's what really happened:
Remember how I said I didn't know anything about my mom? Well, it's still true, but I found out then what she at least looked like when I visited my brother one time before he died, because he showed me a picture that also showed her wedding ring. I was looking throughout the mall, when I noticed a girl was selling jewelry, trinkets, glass things, stuff most girls love, and I went over to see if I could get Bulma something like a glass unicorn when, I know this sounds crazy, I saw my mother's wedding ring. The girl, don't even remember the name, wouldn't let me buy it however, because another woman offered more. No matter how hard I tried, the girl wouldn't yield and told me that if I went out with her, she'd give me the ring. Even when I told her I had a girlfriend she wouldn't give in; she just replied that she didn't need to know. Then, she told me that the woman was coming to buy the ring tomorrow, and if I wanted it, I had better agree. Seeing no other way out, I agreed, and she told me that she would choose the place and time. Now, why did I want that ring so badly? Bulma and I had been going out for around 10 years, and I wanted to tie the knot, and I wanted to give her my mom's ring to show that I really did love her. Of course as luck would have it, she picked the same night as the night Bulma and I were going to a concert and (Big surprise) wanted to go to the same concert. Why didn't I tell Bulma? She wouldn't believe me. And when I did try to explain, she wouldn't listen to me.
Then, after the whole Namek ordeal, I was wished back, and Bulma ran to me crying, telling me that she never wanted to leave me and that she love me forever. Well, that was a lie; if she had been Pinocchio, her nose would've touched Saturn. She was such a bitch. Anyway, about a year passed by and Bulma and I stayed together pretty well. Boom! In comes Future Trunks and his secrets. Well, when Goku told Bulma to have a healthy baby, I was hoping that meant that Bulma and I were going to get married and have a child together. Didn't work out that way though…
Due to my training schedule and the stress of the battle with the Androids, I didn't really get much time to spend with Bulma or noticed the growing attraction between Bulma and Vegeta. Every now and then, I thought about the dream that Bulma told me about and how that kid was a Super Saiyan from the future, but I had wishful thinking that we would stay together. One day Bulma came over to my apartment near Capsule Corp. and told me that she was really happy that I was being faithful and that she hoped I would keep safe during the battle and that I would remember that I have something to come home to. She was wearing black; I guess I should have been wary. Well, I found out during dinner, I was eating Puar's Wolf Fang Fist Stew (No, it doesn't have a wolf fist or teeth in it, it was named after my attack), when I noticed that she had left her purse over at my pad.
Something twined at my mind as I was driving over to her house, but I pushed it away; I didn't want to think that I was going to be betrayed yet again. When I pulled my car into the driveway, I noticed that it was quiet (Trust me, on a NORMAL day, it's never quiet) and that Bulma wasn't there to greet me at the door; she always did, ever since we first started dating. After chatting with her folks, I went to her room. Bulma never sleeps until about midnight, it was only 10, (I know this, you can check my phone bill from when we were together) so I walked in. I was about to say something when I happen to see Bulma undoing her bra and some boy's boxers right next to her, and I heard Vegeta yelling at her for taking so long. As quietly as I came in, I went out, shutting the door behind me.
I just couldn't believe it; the woman of my dreams just shattered my heart into trillions of pieces, betraying me in every way. The pain from my chest was so overwhelming that I clutched where my heart was as I stood outside her door. It was so deep and so sharp that I almost began to cry; I hadn't cried since my dad died. Going out of the next window I saw, I swiftly left, driving my car into the black hell of my broken heart. As soon as I came home, Puar asked me how Bulma was doing. I told him fine, and I went to bed. There was no one that I could talk to about this, not even Tien or Goku. Somehow I was able to keep it all bottle up, and no one noticed anything wrong.
A few weeks later, I got a call from Bulma, requesting me to come over. Guessing I knew what it was about, I decided not to questioned her and went without any argument. As I got over there, I saw Vegeta, Bulma, Tien, and Bulma's parents all in the living room, as if they were waiting for Bulma to say something. "Well," she began slowly, as if she was almost scared, "I'm sure you all are wondering why I called you here……the answer is that well….I'm ….."
"Would you just hurry up and tell us Woman?!" Vegeta demanded, his voice having a tint of fear in his voice.
"I'm well, … pregnant," she said shyly, hanging her head down slightly. Everyone looked at her shocked except me and Vegeta, who looked appalled. At first, I looked I guess hurt and heartbroken, but when Bulma looked at me, I changed my expression to shock like everyone else. Vegeta, stunned and looking with another expression that I didn't know, stormed out of the room before anyone had a chance to talk. For awhile everyone just stood there, while I hung my head. I knew that was it, I knew as soon as she called me, that this had happened. After everyone congratulated Bulma, I made my way to her and took her to the kitchen to talk with her alone.
"Bulma, its Vegeta's, isn't?" I asked in a sad tone. She could only nod her head while she was playing with her hair, something she did when she was nervous. I took a deep sigh and looked at her sincerely. "Will you marry me?"
"What?" she asked, shocked beyond words. I swallowed hard.
"Would you marry me? I won't let you have a child that doesn't have a father." She looked at me with first a shock look, then gentle, and finally stern.
"No. I won't marry you when I love another, and I'm carrying his child!" she said in a forceful voice. At first, the confession hit me real hard, and I just stood there, not knowing what to do. Her tone became gentler as she placed her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Yamcha. I'm sorry for hurting you." I twisted out of her grip, before the tears came, and walked to the door. "Yamcha?!" she cried, tears filling her eyes, probably from hormones.
"Aren't we all sorry?" I answered and made my way to the front door to follow Vegeta's suit outside. Then, Tien came up to me.
"You son of a gun! Congrats Yamcha!" he said laughing and slapped me on the back.
"Huh, what for?" I asked, and I could hear my voice being tired. He threw me a puzzled look.
"What do you mean what for? Bulma just said that she was pregnant!" I took a long sigh inside of my head.
"She never said that I was the father…" I answered and left before he could say anything. I don't know how long I was driving that night; Goku said that he found me drunk in the middle of South City. Well, I trained harder than ever, wanting at first to kill that kid from the future if I ever saw him again; I blamed him for Vegeta taking Bulma from me. Several months passed, and Trunks was now born, the son of the person I love the most and the person I hated the most. I stopped training to take time to find myself and found out that I had no more need to fight; I was the 4th weakest person on the team, and there was no need for anyone like me to be on the team.
Soon, Vegeta left to train in the stars, there again leaving Bulma and Trunks. I couldn't believe that he was actually not going to be there for Trunks' first birthday. It made me so furious, I would kill to be Bulma's husband and the father of her child, and here Vegeta has it practicality in his lap, and he walks away from it. One day, I saw a cradle for sale in the window of this store and thought what a great gift for a child, a child like Trunks. After getting the money from Tien that he owed me, I went there and brought it. When the person asked who it was from, I was about to say Yamcha, but I froze and thought for a second. A father should be there for their child's first birthday or at least give them a gift. "Vegeta," I answered my voice sounding soft as if someone was punching me in my gut. I still don't know if Bulma liked it or if she knows.
After the whole deal with Cell and the Androids, I mostly stayed at Goku's taking care of Chi-Chi and help watching Goten. Some people call me a sicko for trying to go out with Chi-Chi after Goku's death when actually, I was just trying to repay Goku for being my friend by helping out his family. Gohan didn't have the heart to fight after Goku's death, no matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise. Anytime I would get him to train, his eyes were filled with such a pain that I couldn't bear to make him anymore. About 3 years later, I left to go live back in the desert. I got a job in what was then called Orange Star City, in some company called Bruce Lei's Auto Palace. The pay was OK, and Bruce turned out to be a really cool guy. Well of course when Marron was born, Krillin and 18 wanted me to baby-sit their child, and I never minded it, because she was a good kid. Then, came the 25th World Tournament. Everyone asks me why I didn't fight in it? The answer to that is simple. Android 18, God how I hate that bitch, threaten to have 17 help her beat me up if I entered, fearing that I would beat her husband. As if those two could anyway. But seriously, I didn't because I knew that I really didn't have a chance of winning, and I knew that at that point that I was probably at the peak of my power; there was no way for me to get better.
When the whole Buu business was over with, I did some things from time to time like fix Gohan's car for his first date with Videl, taught Goten how to play football, helped hook Marron up with Trunks (I was hoping that she would change him from a bratty bastard to being a half way decent person), and also hooked up my nephew, or as I should now say my adopted son, with Bra. Then, I met the real love of my life, Leila. What more do I have to say? I pretty much got it made. There are sometimes I think back on my relationship with Bulma and the gang, and you know what? I'd go back and do it again if I could. Sure there were a lot of bad times, but hell, there were some great times too. Peace out!