Jack woke up the next morning and headed for the mountains. He
brought an eggplant Popuri had given him, as he wanted do some still life.
He looked around for a suitable spot, and decided on the Goddess Pond. The
little bridge would make a perfect spot for the eggplant to sit, and the
forest around the area would make it stand out. Purple always did seem to
show when placed against a brown background. Jack placed the vegetable on
the little bridge, pulled out his equipment, and started to paint.
Suddenly, Jack heard a loud rumbling noise behind him. A large boulder was cascading down the mountain! Jack threw himself to one side, avoiding the boulder. He knocked the eggplant into the pond.
A woman rose out of it. She had long, green hair that was pulled to one side and braided, and a semi-transparent white gown. She was obviously the Harvest Goddess. "An offering?" she asked. "Not many people give offerings these days. You must be a very spiritual person. What's your wish?"
A large pink box appeared, floating in midair. It had the words Weather, Strength, and Love printed on it. 'Hmmm,' thought Jack. He noticed that there was an empty space under Love, and got an idea. He took out his paintbrush and painted One Million G there.
"Noth-WHAT?" exclaimed the Goddess angrily. "Where the fuck did that come from?"
"That's my wish," said Jack smugly.
"THAT'S NOT A FUCKIN' CHOICE!" she screeched. Her hair rose around her head, and her eyes glowed an angry red.
Just when Jack thought he was going to be decapitated by an angry Goddess, Popuri burst into the clearing. She held a handful of Pixi Stix and a spatula. "Give Jack his wish!" she said angrily. "I know how to use these!"
The Goddess shrank back in fear. A shower of coins rained down on the clearing. "I'm sorry, O Mighty Pink Thing! I shall give thee a gift for thy mercy!"
Popuri thought for a moment. "I want the necklace from Titanic!" she said, smiling.
"Yes, O Grand Wielder of Pixi Stix!" The necklace appeared around her neck.
"I'd also like an intelligent president that won't screw around with USA's reputation, that can spell potato correctly, and that's NOT from a southern state!"
The Goddess bowed down. "I am sorry, O Great One, but not even I can give you that!"
Popuri shrugged. "Ah well, it was worth a try," she said. "C'mon Jack! I want to pose naked for you with this necklace! It's sooooo romantic!" Jack gathered the rest of his money and followed Popuri out of the clearing.
Three hours later of nude painting on the beach, Popuri went back to the flower shop, and Jack went to visit Ann.
"Hey," said Gray when Jack passed by him.
"Hey, Gray!" replied Jack right away. "How nice to see you today! You look as gay as a jay in May! By the way, have you seen my tray? It's shaped like a sleigh, and it's missing today."
"Nay," said Gray.
"Nay, you say? Oy vey, it's gone away. I'm off to give Ann some hay!"
"Please stay!" said Gray.
"¿Por que?"
"The animals are in a fray," said Gray, "and they're in an array from cows to a Shar Pei. It started as play, but is no longer ok. The donkeys bray, and the horses neigh. This just isn't my day."
"No way! Poor Gray," said Jack, whose thoughts did sway. He would love to stay, but had to sashay with Karen at the bay. "Why not send them away?"
A smile came to Gray. "Brilliant, I say! I'm much stronger than they!" He marched away to save the day.
Jack walked down to the beach. He had decided to have this lesson during the afternoon, as he had had some...unclean...dreams the previous night.
"Hey," said Karen. "Ready?"
Jack flashed a smile. "You bet," he answered. The two twirled until fireflies danced along with them. When they were completely spent, they collapsed on the beach, breathing heavily.
Eventually, Karen turned to Jack. "Jack," she said, "there's something you must know." Jack turned toward her, wondering what it could be.
"Jack...I...I...I..." He stared into the jade orbs that he subconsciously claimed as his own.
Suddenly, those eyes closed. Karen sneezed violently, spraying snot all over him. She sniffed and rubbed her nose. "I 'ave a weely bad cohd, and I cahn't teach you t'morrow." Jack nodded, and wiped some mucus off of his face. "Bye," said Karen, and she walked back home. Jack left a few minutes later, and took a long bath.
Suddenly, Jack heard a loud rumbling noise behind him. A large boulder was cascading down the mountain! Jack threw himself to one side, avoiding the boulder. He knocked the eggplant into the pond.
A woman rose out of it. She had long, green hair that was pulled to one side and braided, and a semi-transparent white gown. She was obviously the Harvest Goddess. "An offering?" she asked. "Not many people give offerings these days. You must be a very spiritual person. What's your wish?"
A large pink box appeared, floating in midair. It had the words Weather, Strength, and Love printed on it. 'Hmmm,' thought Jack. He noticed that there was an empty space under Love, and got an idea. He took out his paintbrush and painted One Million G there.
"Noth-WHAT?" exclaimed the Goddess angrily. "Where the fuck did that come from?"
"That's my wish," said Jack smugly.
"THAT'S NOT A FUCKIN' CHOICE!" she screeched. Her hair rose around her head, and her eyes glowed an angry red.
Just when Jack thought he was going to be decapitated by an angry Goddess, Popuri burst into the clearing. She held a handful of Pixi Stix and a spatula. "Give Jack his wish!" she said angrily. "I know how to use these!"
The Goddess shrank back in fear. A shower of coins rained down on the clearing. "I'm sorry, O Mighty Pink Thing! I shall give thee a gift for thy mercy!"
Popuri thought for a moment. "I want the necklace from Titanic!" she said, smiling.
"Yes, O Grand Wielder of Pixi Stix!" The necklace appeared around her neck.
"I'd also like an intelligent president that won't screw around with USA's reputation, that can spell potato correctly, and that's NOT from a southern state!"
The Goddess bowed down. "I am sorry, O Great One, but not even I can give you that!"
Popuri shrugged. "Ah well, it was worth a try," she said. "C'mon Jack! I want to pose naked for you with this necklace! It's sooooo romantic!" Jack gathered the rest of his money and followed Popuri out of the clearing.
Three hours later of nude painting on the beach, Popuri went back to the flower shop, and Jack went to visit Ann.
"Hey," said Gray when Jack passed by him.
"Hey, Gray!" replied Jack right away. "How nice to see you today! You look as gay as a jay in May! By the way, have you seen my tray? It's shaped like a sleigh, and it's missing today."
"Nay," said Gray.
"Nay, you say? Oy vey, it's gone away. I'm off to give Ann some hay!"
"Please stay!" said Gray.
"¿Por que?"
"The animals are in a fray," said Gray, "and they're in an array from cows to a Shar Pei. It started as play, but is no longer ok. The donkeys bray, and the horses neigh. This just isn't my day."
"No way! Poor Gray," said Jack, whose thoughts did sway. He would love to stay, but had to sashay with Karen at the bay. "Why not send them away?"
A smile came to Gray. "Brilliant, I say! I'm much stronger than they!" He marched away to save the day.
Jack walked down to the beach. He had decided to have this lesson during the afternoon, as he had had some...unclean...dreams the previous night.
"Hey," said Karen. "Ready?"
Jack flashed a smile. "You bet," he answered. The two twirled until fireflies danced along with them. When they were completely spent, they collapsed on the beach, breathing heavily.
Eventually, Karen turned to Jack. "Jack," she said, "there's something you must know." Jack turned toward her, wondering what it could be.
"Jack...I...I...I..." He stared into the jade orbs that he subconsciously claimed as his own.
Suddenly, those eyes closed. Karen sneezed violently, spraying snot all over him. She sniffed and rubbed her nose. "I 'ave a weely bad cohd, and I cahn't teach you t'morrow." Jack nodded, and wiped some mucus off of his face. "Bye," said Karen, and she walked back home. Jack left a few minutes later, and took a long bath.