Chapter 14
He finished and looked at her, but her gaze was focused on the floor. When Blackarachnia finally spoke, her voice was quiet.
"I honestly don't know who I despise more at the moment: you or Tarantulas. No, probably you," her voice rose, "because Tarantulas is, and always has been, an asshole. Primus knows he's not gonna change. But you! I thought you were a decent person. You claimed to have honor, swore not to harm the innocent and all that slag! Taratron, I thought you were my brother," she sighed and whispered. "You betrayed me."
"I know," Dinobot nodded. His features were cool, but crimson optics betrayed the emotion of sorrow, "and I am so sorry, though I know that does not even begin to make things right."
"Nothing can make things right!" she shouted. "Do you know what he did to the POWs? To me? Because if you don't, it's not so bad. Okay, you were a Predacon, you had your orders. I can understand that much, but if you knew..."
"I knew," the raptor confirmed. "Once again, I am sorry. I hate him just as much as you do."
"No one hates him as much as I do," she objected through gritted teeth.
"He took away your innocence, and for that I shall despise him with my last breath," he paused. "I realize, of coarse, that much of the blame is mine."
The female took a deep breath, shaking her head and choking back a sob. "No, I lost it long before I ever even heard of that bastard. I can't remember ever being innocent. It's was probably buried at Helm's Deep or maybe the Predaco prison camp, but I don't remember either event."
"You're wrong," he said. "You have not lived long enough to understand. Even now, after all you have lived through, you still retain some of your innocence. In fact most bots here know very little of what war is truly like. Accept perhaps the vermin and myself, of coarse," Blackarachnia gave him a quizzical look, and he elaborated. "I am much older then you and have lived a long life... too long perhaps. I have seen suffering and was often the cause of it. You still have quite a long way to go before you reach the point where I am, and I honestly hope you never reach that point."
Blackarachnia released a dry humorless chuckle. "Set your heart at rest, I will never be anything like you!" she got up abruptly and went to the panel that controlled the door, pressing a button to open it. She leaned on the door frame, arms crossed under her chest. "Get out, Dinobot. We have nothing left to discus, and I no longer consider you my brother."
Dinobot regarded her, seemingly cold optics reflecting defeat. He took a deep breath and got up. "As you wish," he passed her with a slight bow and walked out into the hallway.
"Dinobot," she called after him, and the raptor turned to face her. "I wish you hadn't told me anything. It was much easier for me to remember you as a hero then a traitor. I never wanted to hate you."
"But none of us can control our emotions," he said. "I don't want you to feel that you are obligated to forgive me for any reason, because there is no forgiveness for the damned. Good-bye, little sister."
* * * * * * * * *
By the time he reached his quarters, Dinobot was mentally and physically exhausted. Pain consumed his body, and he simply fell down on the recharge bed. The present events couldn't possibly get any worse, and the future didn't seemed very bright either. Finally, he turned his attention on the past, searching his memory banks for answers,
Flashback,
"What in the pit is this slag?" Taratron muttered starring at his laptop terminal. Six months after Helm's Deep, and there were still no traces of the missing Maximals from the battle. The squad leader had no doubt that anyone unaccounted for was now a prisoner of war. Over two dozens of them, male and female, young and old, had been missing. Taratron snarled in disgust. The death of solders was a given, and casualties of war were also inevitable, but the slaughter of the innocent was an act of disgrace.
He stopped and then smiled to himself. Innocence had not died, at least not completely. He saw it every day in the smile of the little girl. She had been with him for all this time, and Taratron had to admit, though rather reluctantly, that he had grown very found of her. Surrounded by soldiers in the army, he couldn't recall the last time he associated with any children. It was very refreshing to get a child's view on the world.
Taratron stretched in his chair and looked at the chronometer. 0346 hours, and he was in need of recharge. He got up and headed for his bedroom. On the way he passed the small room that had been set aside for the girl and decided to check on her. He was expecting to find her sound asleep but instead discovered that her bed was empty. Taratron switched on the lights.
"Isis?"
"Here," a small voice called from the corner. Taratron turned and saw her standing next to the drawers. A few of her things had been removed and piled onto the foot of the bed.
"What are you doing, child?" he frowned and kneeled beside her.
Isis sniffed and wrinkled her nose, giving him her best 'stupid grown-up' look. "What does it look like? I'm running away."
"Oh," not that he was worried that she'd actually leave the military base, but Taratron had no idea how to handle the situation. Something was clearly bothering the child, and he intended to find out what it was. "Isis," he picked up her things and placed them back in the drawers, "why don't we sit down and talk about this?"
She didn't respond, but instead turned her head away from him. Taratron sighed and sat down cross-legged on the floor in front of her. This was going to be very difficult. "Why do you want to run away?"
There was silence for a nanoclick, then Isis spoke without turning to face him. "I…I heard the soldiers talking," she said in a quiet voice. "They…were talking about me, and one of them said, 'What were they thinking?' and the other nodded and said, 'This is a military base, not a day care center,'" she sniffed again, whipping her tear stoked face with the back of her hand. "No one wants me here."
Slowly, arms folded around herself, she began to cry. Soft, silent sobs shook he small body. Taratron moved closer and carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Isis tried to pull away, but he held her firmly. Finally she gave in and sobbed into his shoulder as he held her. After a while, the sobs slowed.
"I want you here," Taratron whispered.
Isis pulled back, her crimson optics met his violet gaze. "Really?"
"Of coarse," he nodded. "Now, what do you say we give this another try?" he ran a hand through her long, tangled hair.
The little girl was clearly considering it, but shew was not convinced. Feeling that the bots of the army had let her down, she was reluctant to put her trust in them again.
"Come on," Taratron coaxed softly. He reached out and whipped the tears left on her cheeks. "I'll take care of you."
The words left his mouth before he even realized what he was saying. Only after he said them, did Taratron realize the enormous task he was taking on. But he didn't back out. The girl needed someone, and on some level, he felt that he needed her as well.
"You promise?" Isis' voice was full of hope.
"Yes, I promise," Taratron took a deep breath and kissed the top of her head. "After all, that is what families do, is it not? They take care of one another."
"Family? Like a mommy and a daddy?"
Taratron winced; the title 'daddy' didn't appeal to him. "No, like…like a big brother," he corrected. "Have you ever had a brother?" she shook her head. "Well now you do."
Isis smiled, but then rubbed her optics and yawned. It was very late; she was exhausted. Taratron took her in his arms, and she snuggled against him. He moved a stray lock of hair away from her face and rocked her in his arms until she finally fell asleep. He then got up and carried her to the bed, gently placing her down and pulling the warm covers up to her shoulders. Isis shifted in her sleep, trying to get comfortable. Once he was sure she wouldn't wake up again, Taratron turned off the lights and walked out, quietly closing the door behind himself.
"Sleep well, little sister."
End of Flashback,
"I broke my promise," he ground, burring his face in his claws. "I failed her completely."