Chapter 15: Always
"What?"
With his head lowered he walked into the living room and fell onto the sofa. He's entire posture conveyed emotional drain and agony. "We should stop seeing each other."
The stabbing pain in her chest deepened when he repeated those words. She couldn't believe what he was saying. She knew that Grissom was not an emotional person, but she was sure he could not deny the past month they spent together. It made no sense. She calmed herself and slowly sat down in front of him on his coffee table. She was always too stubborn to just leave.
"Is that really what you want?" She asked with the utmost dread in her heart that he would say 'yes'.
"Sara I can't fight the world."
She touched his knee to get his attention. "I didn't fall in love with the entire population of Earth. I fell in love with you, Gil Grissom. The man that likes bugs for company, the man that works too much, the man that isn't good with people, the man that finds it hard to share feelings, the man that knows the most of trivial things, the man that can run an experiment seven times and still be fascinated, the man that has the bluest eyes I have ever seen, the man that knows me better than anyone, the man that makes my stomach flip and my heart skip when he touches me, and, yes, even the man that has otosclerosis." She was on the verge of tears as she spoke. "I love you, Gil Grissom. Please don't do this to me."
He got so lost in her brown voids that he had to touch her cheek to convince himself that she was real. She closed her eyes relishing in his warm hand.
"This isn't going to be easy." He said watching her.
Relief washed over her. They were still together; he didn't push her away. She forced watery eyes to open. "Well they say love is hard."
He smiled and leaned in to kiss her salty lips. "Loving you is easy, but everything else..."
"Doesn't matter." She finished.
He fell back onto the sofa and rested his head. She took one look at his exhaustive figure before bringing his foot to her lap to remove his shoes.
His head fell forward. "What are you doing?"
She cocked an eyebrow. "Undressing you."
"Sara..."
"You need sleep. Now you can go willingly or I can drag you into bed." She tried to sound stern but her smile was misbehaving.
He grinned as he pulled her onto the sofa with him. "As if you would have to force me into bed with you."
"Who said I was joining you?"
"Hey, let's take a nap right here." He slowly kissed her making it last extra long.
"Hmm. That sounds appealing but I have to do the dishes. You didn't even touch my supper."
"Later." He laid down on his side motioned for her to curl up beside him. She complied. He grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the sofa and spread it across their close bodies. He brushed her hair back and laid his head against hers.
"Sleep is good." He said slowly letting exhaustion take over.
"It is now." She whispered before falling asleep herself.
~ * ~
The first thing he noticed when he came out of a restful slumber was that Sara was no longer sleeping beside him. He checked his watch; four hours was a long nap. He sat up to find Sara in the kitchen cleaning. Then the music reached his ears. He recognized the song as Percy Sledge's 'When a Man Loves a Woman'. The music was low, like her voice, but the effect was not lost. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He never felt so in love with anyone. Careers, wages, rules, all went away as he watched her.
She wiped the counters as she danced to the song. It brought a smile to Grissom's face. She rinsed the sink and turned off the small kitchen radio. When she turned around Grissom was staring at her. "Hey."
"That is a good song."
She blushed and walked towards him. "Did I wake you?"
"No. How long have you been awake?"
"Almost three hours. I managed to eat, do dishes, and clean your kitchen. I wasn't that tired." She smiled as she stood in front of him. "You were tired though."
"I had good company."
"It sounded like bad dreams though. Can I ask what they were about?"
It was a simple question. Being open with each other should not be a burden. For the first time that is exactly how he felt. No secrets. Questions are meant to be answered. "You."
"Me?"
He slid his hands to the back of her thighs and pulled her towards him until she dropped onto his lap, straddling his hips. "In most of them you were hurt and I was working your case. But in this one, I hurt you. I am sorry I yelled at you earlier. You were only trying to help me. I shouldn't have snapped at you." He grew quiet and stared off into the distance.
"Are you okay?" She asked softly.
"After we fought in my dream you left me; for good. You never came back because you were afraid I might hurt you again." He held onto her hips. "It was a horrible dream."
She forced a smile. "A real nightmare huh?"
"I never want to hurt you Sara." He said seriously.
"I know Gil." She fell into his chest for a hug.
They sat like that and allowed time to become nonexistent. His hand slipped under her blouse long ago and he began to trace her shoulder blade for the umpteenth time. He knew the inquiry was not over and he couldn't help but think about it despite Sara's calming breath on his neck. He pushed away her hair with the other hand before gently placing a tender kiss on her soft skin.
Sara's reaction to the kiss was immediate. The chills he sent through her body made her gasp involuntarily and brought her to full awareness that she was sitting on top of him. The tingling sensation remained long after his lips left her skin. It was peaceful; like the warmth from his chest and the sound of his breathing in her ears. She never loved anyone so dearly. She lifted her head and brought a sweet kiss to his lips but he took her lips and devoured them with passion. She pushed into his chest trying to taste every inch of his mouth sending both bodies into a frenzy.
The phone rings.
"Let the answering machine get it." He mumbled as he traveled down her neck.
She closed her eyes. "It's my cell Gil. It would be sus...picious if I didn't answer it."
He continued and she let him. It rang once more. "Gil I should get that..."
"Then go." He smiled kissing her again. "I won't stop you."
Her eyes drifted shut again against her will. "You are a master of persuasion." She whispered.
He chuckled and pulled away from her. "I know."
"Be right back." She jumped up when he stopped. He made a playful grab for her arm but she ducked away. She went to the table by the door and retrieved her phone. She leaned against the wall for support since her legs weren't exactly in control after Grissom turned them to Jell-O.
"Sidle."
"I will fire whomever that is when I get back." Grissom stood up and came over to her.
She held up a hand to silence him. He took it and kissed every digit. "Okay. Thanks Nicky. Yeah bye." She closed her phone.
He couldn't hold back. It was a flood of desire. He began to suckle her ear and unbutton her blouse. She twitched involuntarily as his fingers grazed her skin.
"I have to go to work." She croaked out.
"You're on sick leave and I am sure Nick would rather work solo."
She slid down the wall so he would stop undressing her. He read the seriousness in her eyes as she looked up at him.
"Preston McFadden." He stated.
She nodded. "I have an appointment at five."
"Dammit!" He leaned up against the wall sliding down to join her. His hands covered his face as his temples began to throb with an oncoming migraine.
"It's okay." She whispered.
The confidence in her voice alarmed every synapse in his head. His hands dropped and he spun to face her. "Sara Sidle if you do something stupid..."
"Who? Me? Look I know how McFadden and internal investigations work. I'll be fine and I promise..." She said innocently as she rose to her feet and buttoned her blouse.
"Don't you dare promise anything." He interrupted sternly as he locked eyes with her. "Promises shouldn't be broken."
"Well then I promise that I promise I won't break a promise, not to you."
"I mean it Sara, please don't do something that I wouldn't do."
She grabbed her keys and coat. "Grissom if I did that you would be dating yourself."
"I mean it."
"Look I have to go." She attempted to kiss him but he pulled back.
"No I am coming with you." He said defiantly. "I need to keep an eye on you."
tbc...